Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

Once again I face that delightful dilemma of too many top tier contenders for who, in my opinion, is homoerotic wrestler of the month. Seriously, you can’t swing a dead cat without smacking a half dozen gorgeous, grunting, fully committed homoerotic wrestling gods in their sweat soaked faces. BG East’s new catalog came out, so inevitably they are packing the contenders list, considering my tastes. I’m completely captured by muscle gods Dev Michaels and Marco Carlow from Motel Madness 11, and I admit to being caught off guard by how irrepressibly turned-on I am by Torvik Tirva’s beatdown on Brad Flash. Both Aqua and Angelo Blanco from Masked Mayhem 8 are instant contenders, with a special note of appreciation for the extra helping of the homoerotic in this homoerotic flesh fest.  I’m putting Mitch Colby on alert that a fantastically sexy lightweight by the name of Skrapper has his sights set on knocking Mitch out of the top contender spot for my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy title, as well as easily claiming top contention for homoerotic wrestler of the month for his work in Undagear 17.  Rio Garza and Christopher Bruce from match 2 of that same DVD are both getting nods from me as well, and I can’t help but note that Rio is in absolutely jaw dropping physical form. I’m deeply moved by performances from BG’s Bad Boys 2, including Dick Rick, as well as the dynamic twosome of Jonny Firestorm and Bobby Horton from match 3. It’ll be no surprise to regular readers that both Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) and Lon Dumont are in the pool of contention for their respective matches in Gut Bash 8.  Trent Diesel, my reigning homoerotic wrestling pornboy, worked his gorgeous ass off this month for Naked Kombat, delivering a humiliating beatdown on hardbody rookie Gavin Waters two (count them, two!) times, first in singles competition and then partnering with astonishingly doe-eyed Matt Singer in crushing and humiliating Gavin and sexy thug Nikko Alexander, who I’m also giving a nod for also doing double-time, earning a pony ride underneath babyface Singer a couple of weeks after he spanked and fucked twink Noah Brooks. Tyler Reeves and Max Powers grab my attention in the RockHardWrestling ring this month, and from Thunder’s Arena, I’m nominating Cody Nelson for clawing the fuck out of Bam Bam’s pecs in Bodybuilder Battle 29 as well as for tweaking my brother-on-brother erotic fantasies against his “little” bro, Troy Nelson, in Mat Wars 29.

May set the table for a truly phenomenal homoerotic wrestling feast. To pick just one is, as always, just a little torturous. Never one to shy away from a little punishment, I’ve thought about this long and hard. I nearly copped out and pronounced another tie, but by a hairs breadth, I’ve settled on one homoerotic wrestler who claims the title of my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month.

Meet my new homoerotic wrestler of the month…
BG East’s Jonny Firestorm.

Several readers had thoughts and comments about the difference of opinions that Joe and I expressed over BG East’s last catalog release. Somehow, the world feels back on its axis now that we’ve returned to the 97.3% of agreement that Joe and I share in our homoerotic wrestling tastes and preferences. I couldn’t agree with him more, in fact, when he announced a few weeks ago that Jonny and Bobby Horton’s match in BG Bad Boys 2 is destined to be a classic. I love this match, and I’m crazy for both Jonny and Bobby from start to finish.

The success of this match for me is comprised of dozens of small, potent moments. The opening posedown has me laughing and adjusting my crotch at the same time, as “little” Jonny works extra hard to measure up next to an opponent of equal fitness and an additional 7″ in height. These delightful, small potent moments also include Jonny’s brutal wedgie on Bobby early on, baring Bobby’s beautiful buttocks for an over the knee spanking. Equally potent and provocative, Bobby nearly shreds Jonny’s silver trunks in a retribution wedgie later on.

I’m delighted and completely turned on by the bright, bright red palm prints that rage for minutes across Bobby’s beautiful pecs as a result of Jonny’s go-to chest smack.

It’s a small thing, I know, but I’m thrilled by the spine busting hip toss that whips big Bobby out of the corner with such velocity that it knocks his vanity mask sideways.

Someone else may not give a damn, but both of these boys catch air, and the brutal ballet that is 6’2″ Bobby soaring for miles on this way to splashing down brutally, crushing 5’5″ Jonny helplessly in the corner is incredibly satisfying. This is such a hot battle of fresh young heels that, truthfully, I nearly relented and named both Bobby and Jonny co-homoerotic wrestlers of the month (which would have pushed Bobby into the extremely elite category of being a 2-time title holder). But as entertainingly as both of these bad boys tell a story and sell their sadistic characters, Jonny has the razor’s edge for my affections here. It may be his head butt into Bobby’s abs as the big boy was still trying to recover, flat on his back, from a barrage of stomps. Perhaps it’s Jonny’s softball-size biceps, which are likely no bigger than Bobby’s but on his smaller frame simply look gargantuan. Maybe it’s my secret fetish for the little guy who overcomes the first-glance odds to power back and prevail over a much bigger opponent.

For all these and so many more truly outstanding elements in a start-to-finish thrilling pro wrestling match with precisely enough kink to make my ears buzz, and for Jonny’s undeniable athleticism, shredded fitness, incredible salesmanship and sweet-n-bitter delivery that leaves me laughing one minute and 100% aroused the next, I’m very satisfied that I’ve selected the right man for the job. My reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month could be no one other than BG Bad Boy Jonny Firestorm.

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