The Defending Champ

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The Portrait of Z-Man.

Early on in his tenure with BG East, Z-Man was pretty much a cheap buffet. Anyone with a hankering to chew on him a while was stepping up, picking him apart, and serving him cold. He’s come a long way since then, and an even longer way from his even earlier start at Thunder’s Arena. Victory is far from assured when facing down Z-Man these days. There’s a welcome suspense, as he pushes opponents to their limits and firmly stakes out his ground as much more than a pretty face. One thing that hasn’t changed one iota is that ridiculously sexy body of his.  There’s clearly a portrait of him aging in an attic somewhere, because Z-Man is supernaturally and unwaveringly perfected across his entire storied career. It’s little wonder that BG East fans gave credit where abundantly due and awarded him Best Body of 2013. His conditioning is astonishing in both power and aesthetics.

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Kip Sorell for your consideration for Best Body.

What of that description can’t be said about relative newcomer Kip Sorell, though?  True, Kip is still at that early stage in his career when he’s getting his muscled ass handed to him unfailingly, but truth be told, he’s probably on par with Z-Man’s aptitude at the same point in his career.  If anything, Kip’s boyish face could possibly be even a shade more leading-man quality. His skin tone is a perpetually, lusciously dark mocha compared to Z-Man’s silky smooth latte. Without taking an ounce of respect from Z-Man, an objective observer could very well honestly be persuaded that Kip is sporting a percentage less body fat, displaying his phenomenal physique with crystal clarity and severe cuts compared to Z-Man’s more graceful curves. But there’s certainly one thing that describes Z-Man that simply doesn’t apply to Kip: Kip has never been voted Best Body by BG East fans.

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The pose off is highly contested, but it’s hard to argue with those deeply sculpted, tanned abs of Kip.

So the narrative pretty much writes itself when Z-Man and Kip come pec to pec in Ring Hunks 2.  They both are in awe of the sight of their own bodies flexing back at them in the mirror.  They’re both firmly convinced of their physical superiority in power and proportion, body part by body part. They’re both supremely stunning, gorgeous specimen’s of physical conditioning and muscle aesthetics. There’s no way that these two egos, so deservingly fed by encountering few as perfected as they, were going to wrestle for anything other than bragging rights for whose body is truly best.

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Whose bicep bulges biggest?

It’s all about competition.  When the pose off leaves both studs declaring contested victory, they turn to more objective measures.  The fastest to 10 push up contest ends in a draw, so they stretch out their fine bodies in the middle of the ring for an old fashioned arm wrestling match. To Z-Man’s shock, Kip wins.  Fiercely, Z-Man demands a best 2 out of 3.  Ego swollen as massively as his muscles, Kip smirks and agrees. The formula of strength and endurance swings Z-Man’s way for the 2nd fall.  Now both boys have egos both bruised and stroked.  Fall 3 decides it, and the decision is Kip’s! He knew his “functional strength” was superior all along. Z-Man flies into a rage all over the younger stud’s stunning bod.

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Let’s start with those vaunted abs…

I admit to deeply enjoying Z-Man in the driver’s seat. Now that he’s (mostly) gotten that shit-eating grin under control, he’s amazing to watch suck down the moment with everything he’s got. It’s his idea to revisit the body part by body part comparison that they’d contested during the pose off, and systematically, muscle by muscle, destroy Kip.  He starts with the abs. I had to agree with Kip that his dark tan gave him a definite edge in core definition, but then again, I have to agree with Z-Man, once he’s down ripping, stomping, punching and all around annihilating Kip’s gut, that you can’t argue superior abdominals if you’re too wasted to even flex them.

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My advice to Kip for next time: open your eyes and grab hold!

Kip gets some licks in here and there, and I’m adamant in believing he’s GOT to develop his offense to move his wrestling career forward. He stuns Z-Man early on and rolls the Playgirl centerfold up, unforgivably closing his eyes with Z-Man’s bulging crotch trapped a couple inches from his face. I long to see Kip sell more danger, so seeing him controlling the veteran ever so briefly is promising. Even if Kip spends forever in jobberville, I’m a big proponent of everyone, even the most fated jobber, being able to sell that he “could” win, even if he never does.

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The lower back stop on the train to muscle destruction.

But this story is for the winner of the Best Body of 2013 to tell. Z-Man viciously wrenches a screeching submission with his claws dug deeply in his opponent’s gut. The pecs fall into focus, and lovely Kip’s chest looks like shredded beef with Z-Man tearing him apart muscle fiber by muscle fiber.  The pace and the impact pick up considerably when Z-Man targets Kip’s lower back. High flying slams and my favorite, over-the-knee backbreakers sell with authority the systematic destruction of Kip’s spine. Z-Man shows fans what they love when two muscle hunks wrestle, displaying Kip’s battered, dominated physique to perfection like serving up a gourmet entree. Kip suffers. Screams a little, which turns me on deep, deep down.

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Z-Man drives home his point while snapping Kip off at the knee.

Z-Man attacks the legs. Tortures the arms. As testimony to how far he’s come, I barely notice that he’s been driving he bus almost the entire way, maintaing focus and pace, controlling the narrative, pushing the story of Kip’s body part by body part destruction forward with a mature self-restraint that allows us to savor each and every moment.

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Z-Man gets in one last squeeze of all of that tenderized Grade A beef.

You can stick a fork in Kip well before Z-Man’s done with him, which is even more homoerotic in my mind. Z-Man toys with the outmatched kid. He seems to genuinely enjoy the feel of control and manipulation, driving Kip to the edge of terror and then letting him crawl back again. When Z-Man’s finally done with him, he hangs him outside the ring from the middle rope like soggy laundry.  Kip’s phenomenal physique is nothing but raw nerves now.  Z-Man tortures him a little more, but finally puts him out of his misery with a sleeper.   Still hanging there limply, Kip is subjected to a rematch of that pre-match pose off.  Z-Man flexes and then compares. Kip isn’t anywhere near consciousness, much less flexing his hot muscles, so no one is left to argue that Z-Man’s muscles are bigger, more beautiful, and unarguably more deserving of BG East’s Best Body honor.

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Who’s biceps are bulging biggest now, bitch!?

This is one hot, sexy match between two of the most honed physiques currently competing in homoerotic wrestling anywhere. There’s character development and drama. If we lined up Z-Man fans and Kip Sorell fans in a row, the wait list for a copy of this match would surely stretch from the BG East mothership outside of Boston to BG East South (where this was taped) in Florida.

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These have got to be two of the frontrunners for 2014 Best Body!

But when it comes to the nominees for Best Body of 2014, will it still be Z-Man on top?  Will 2012 winner Rio Garza come back to rip the title back from Z-Man’s hands?  Or will one of the other stunningly hot bodies populating BG East put Z-Man in his place, kneeling at the feet of some other specimen of overall physical perfection?

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But if Best Body is won by decimating your opponent’s physique, Z-Man has some ghosts to face down still.

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