Chase Addams – Page 2

Best of Just as Best at BG East

February 26, 2021 wrestlebard4 Comments

Despite the scandalous failure of technology that forced a second round of voting, I’m thrilled to report decisive winners of my recent polls!

Best Legs

Calvin Haynes (38%)
Chase LaChance
- Brad Barnes
- Kayden Keller
- Austin Cooper

Calvin Haynes scored the clear victory for best legs with those gargantuan, thickly draped quads and beautifully bulging, veiny calves. I feel like it’s time for us to see Calvin in a seriously sexy Wrestle Worship match, with Calvin earning the the kneeling, gasping, awestruck, licking adoration those tree trunks so richly deserve .

Best Pecs

Brad Barnes (49%)
Lon Dumont
- Kenny Starr
- Marc Merino
- Devil Devitt

Brad Barnes huge pec pillows came just shy of getting the outright majority of voters in a seriously beautiful field of contenders. I think the pec claw was invented for the comic book superhero proportions of Brad’s chest. I’d give a kidney for the chance to see runner-up Lon Dumont (my choice, of course) climb into the ring with Brad and tear him to shreds!

Best Arms

Dev Michaels (36%)
Calvin Haynes
- Brad Barnes
- Devil Devitt
- Cole Cassidy

Dev Michaels pulled out the victory in the seriously competitive category of Best Arms. This category had me struggling to settle on just one of these magnificent, mountainous set of biceps, but I have to admit I went for Dev’s stunning, thickly veined, aesthetically gorgeous, and functionally devastating arms. Have we seen an opponent openly acknowledge just how fucking SEXY Dev’s muscleman bod is?

Best Back

Austin Cooper (34%)
(Tie) Van Skyler & Dev Michaels
- Kip Sorell
- Brute Baynard

The Best Back category was another super competitive battle. Van and Dev scored an exact tie (as of my counting this morning) for second place, but it was Dr. Cooper who pulled the victory out. There’s so much about Austin to love, and I bet his beautiful tapered-V isn’t always the first thing that comes to mind to admire, but fuck, yes, his back is a work of art! I actually voted for Van, because Dark Skyler has been haunting my waking dreams since I had the pleasure of watching his Muscle Showcase last year. But I have no problems at all with crowning Coop as sporting the best back at BG East in 2020.

Best Ink

Zip Zarella (28%)
Elite Eliot
- Ash DeLeon
- Braden Charron
- Ace Aarons

The Best Ink category always brings out the haters. I used to feel defensive when I’d get comments about how tattoos universally suck, and it’s a waste of a hot body to ink it up. Some of you know I sport my own ink that I actually adore, so I feel pretty swept up in the sweeping generalizations. But there are clearly plenty of us who appreciate fine body art, and by a razor-thin margin, Zip Zarella came out on top by a fraction over his indy pro buddy Elite Eliot. My vote actually went to Ash, but Eliot and Zip are perennial favorites of mine for so many reasons, not least of which is their fine, bold, in-your-face ink. The two of them burned the house down in Wrestling with Pride 1 a couple of years ago, but I ache to see them show even more pride in a rematch, strip stakes, loser kisses the winner’s ass (lovingly). And if that idea were to materialize, I hope that Eliot knows I’m ready to be his corner man.

Prettiest Face

Kip Sorell (52%)
Richie Douglas
- Nino Leone
- Jax Atwell
- Cai Li

The Prettiest Face category was the only one to turn into a total route in the polls, with Kip Sorell leaving all 4 of his competitors in the dust and taking an actual majority of votes. I’ve never been as huge a fan of Kip’s as I know most BGE fans are, not because I wouldn’t love to strip him naked and fuck him for days on end, but because he’s such a fucking jobber. Not that I don’t love jobbers, mind you, but Kip just doesn’t quite suck me in to the wrestling drama. But that’s me. He’s ridiculously pretty, nonetheless. My vote went full-heartedly for Nino, who I feel like is way under-appreciated relative to his wrestling skills, passion, and raw sexiness. But that face of his is so boy-band pretty it makes me dizzy sometimes.

Sexiest Nipples

Chase Addams (26%)
(Tie) Mason Brooks & Dev Michaels
- Jason Anders
- Dimitri

It was such a nail biter to the finish for the Sexiest Nipples vote! I started crushing on Chase’s nips from about 2 seconds after I first saw him in action a few years ago, so I have no complaints about him bringing home the gold. I also started crushing on Mason’s nips about 2 seconds after I first saw him in action a couple years before I first saw Chase, so I love that their sexiest nipples rivalry that played out in Gazebo Grapplers 20 played out in the voting, as well. I didn’t expect Dev to bring home the tie with Mason for second place though, which is an awesome surprise. I think this now deserves a 3-way contest, in the ring, climaxing with Mason and Chase cooperating just enough to tie Dev in the ropes and each of them work over one of the big man’s nips until he cums hands-free.

My hearty congratulations to all the winners, and I hope that the also-rans know that you are adored by an army of devoted fans, even if you didn’t get the votes in a totally useless poll like this one (or any of them). I think every wrestler who put in an appearance in a 2020 BG East release deserves a medal for making lock-down bearable, and I would personally be more than happy to demonstrate to any one (or all) of you just how much fans worship your beauty, strength, and skill!

Lights Out

August 8, 2020August 8, 2020 wrestlebard1 Comment

Hurricane Isaias put my lights out like Kayden Keller knocking Chase Addams’ block off in Learning the Ropes the Hard Way.

Kayden clothesline.gif

Seriously, though, I’ve been cleaning the ruined food out of my freezer and sweltering sans air conditioning for way too long. 2020 has had us all over a barrel, but a global pandemic, worldwide protests over anti-Blackness, murder hornets, and the dumpster fire of the executive branch of government weren’t enough. The curse of 2020 thought I was getting a little too cocky with surviving the national economic collapse and actually getting shit done in my work-from-home office. So Isaias slapped me down hard, like Braden Charron dropping Jake Jenkins like a boss.

Braden clothesline

Even now, my internet connection is thready, so let me just reiterate how I’m feeling as I wait for the cable company to get around to my neighborhood.

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The Charm Offensive

May 12, 2018 wrestlebard2 Comments

You only have to be casually familiar with this blog to know that I’m a major Chase Addams fan. I literally sponsored his first custom, signature trunks. It makes me feel a little like a part-owner of his hot ass when he wears the tight, gun-metal gear with the words “Charming as Fuck” stitched across his backside. I didn’t contribute to the shiny purple version of those same trunks that he wears in his new match for Florida Fights 7: Pride-Aftershow, but I still feel like I’ve got a proprietary claim on his derriere.

Someone has GOT to dick slap that grin right off of Kirk’s face!

Regular readers also know of my strong feelings about Kirk Donahue, Chase’s opponent in Florida Fights 7. I hate that guy. I mean, he’s also a sexy little fucker with incredible wrestling chops that I respect the hell out of. But there’s just something about his heavy lidded, smirky, smart ass, saccharine-sweet earnestness that leaves me with an insatiable desire to watch him get thumped and plowed under hard, again and again. Happily for me, BGE wrestlers keep delivering that sweet dish over and over, smacking the cutesy off of Kirk’s freckled face and making the cocky indy pro weep like a little bitch.

Trevor Read, how the FUCK did you blow this!?!

And then, somehow, Kirk pulled off a stunning upset victory in front of the live audience at Wrestling with Pride. I don’t know Trevor Read, but I’d like to. So sexy. Gorgeous to look at, but the bitter edged, fiercely confident heel attitude he wore in his match with Kirk was what really made me want to slap one of those front row fans to the curb to get an up close look at him. He looked like he was on his way to delivering the public humiliation that Kirk so abundantly begs for. But then, what the fuck, Trevor choked to that annoying little stud puppy! Fuck, Trevor. Just… fuck.

So apparently riding high on that shocking babyface victory, Kirk accepted a challenge from Chase Addams that same weekend back at BGE central. The stakes were high when I tucked into this Florida Fights match. Because if this was signaling Kirk’s ascension, if his freckled face and gargantuan bulge are going to start racking up serious victories over the likes of my boy Chase, then I am going to be SO pissed.

Honestly, I wondered if Chase might be biting off more than he could chew. He’s shared his origin story with me in different contexts over the past couple of years, but the narrative remains the same. Chase is, largely, a self-taught pro wrestling prodigy. He transitioned from fan to competitor by perfecting submission holds on the lucky son-of-a-bitch friends who would let him tie them up in knots, and then later on in the underground gay wrestling scene in St. Louis. Don’t get me wrong, Chase regularly leaves me awestruck and tongue tied by the vicious, gravity defying stunts he pulls at the expense of his opponents. He’s serious as a heart attack. But testing out his moves against a seasoned pro like Kirk, albeit a perennial jobber, seemed risky to me. If Howdy Doody has, in fact, turned over a new leaf, I could certainly see things going south big time for the Charming One.

Kirk clearly has wind in his sails as they sink their claws into each other. The action is ferocious and almost faster than the eye can follow. Kirk’s been doing this longer and much more often, and he looks annoyingly cocky as he curls his upper lip and dives in. The near-submissions fly with abandon. At one point, Kirk cinches Chase’s arms brutally behind his back and flips overtop of him, bridging high and grinding Chase’s handsome face into the mat viciously while attempting to rip his arms out at the shoulder. Holy fuck, that monster bulge at the apex of Kirk’s bridge defies belief.

The suspense is thick from start to finish, as they trade momentum back and forth, but I’m reading the tea leaves when Chase rakes Kirk’s eyes to escape from that bulge-tastic bridge. “You cheating son of a bitch!” Kirk whines petulantly. Right then, right there, my anxiety on behalf of my boy Chase settles down a bit. Chase is eager to show off his submission skills, but he’s also enthusiastically ready to piss on the conventional rules of sportsmanship and fair play. And Kirk is, ridiculously, shocked and irritated. The odds just tilted dramatically in my (Chase’s) favor.

My hunch is seemingly confirmed when Chase exploits Kirk’s foot stomping, whiny little bitch moment to clamp down one of a billion arm and wrist locks he has in his quiver and wrenches Kirk’s fingers sickly backward. Fuck, Kirk’s screams of panicked agony turn me on. Howdy Doody with the monster package taps out to give Chase the first submission.

They work like berserkers tearing through holds faster than the eye can follow. Despite my early intuition that this is Chase’s match to have, Kirk evens the submission count with a viciously deep Boston crab. Back and forth they trade submissions, with neither one able to pull away, until the count is 3-2. Then 4-2. Then 5-2. Kirk keeps fighting, mind you, but Chase absolutely outclasses him. The more withered Kirk gets, the meaner Chase grows. Watching his profound pleasure taking ownership of this hot bodied indy pro who thought his victory of Trevor Reed was signaling a new day for Howdy Doody is so sensationally satisfying. And by satisfying, I mean an incredible turn on.

I stand up an cheer when Chase locks down the Will Breaker and Kirk’s desperate screams echo off the warehouse walls. The self-taught phenom quite literally hangs this seasoned indy pro submission star out to dry. When Chase deigns to let him back down to the ground (after soaking in the dulcimer tones of his opponent’s countertenor screams of anguish) the Charming One lingers, crouching over top of Kirk’s wasted body. He strokes Kirk’s sweaty back possessively. Chase’s obvious admiration for his beauty makes me feel like I can admit that, sure, Kirk’s fucking hot. If Chase would just peel Kirk’s trunks down, bend him over his knee, and spank his alabaster ass fire engine red, I just might be ready to set aside my perennial enmity toward Kirk Donahue.

Chase gets ready to crawl on top and knead the dough

Sadly for everyone, I still hate that guy. This match, though, I love. Chase, seductively stroking Kirk’s tightly muscled back, I enjoy. Chase’s insanely long, smooth legs tied in crushing knots all over his opponent’s overwhelmed body, I lust for. A gut check story of a self-taught prodigy testing his mettle against a privileged, impeccably trained, abundantly seasoned pro and making Kirk his bitch, I adore.

Our Man Inside

March 8, 2018 wrestlebard7 Comments

A few years ago, I mentioned in a post that I have a particular fondness for candid glimpses of homoerotic wrestlers. I love seeing them when they aren’t “on,” when they’re obviously just being the beautiful men they are in those moments between climbing into the ring to rip each other apart. A few wrestlers have openly shared with me their private camera rolls from wrestling shoots, but BG East (the source of most of those), officially embargoed me before that could go on for long. My sources dried up, and rumor had it that some of the wrestlers involved were sorely and corporally punished for sharing the insider information with “the press.” And then, quietly and mysteriously, I received my first batch of smuggled contraband from an anonymous source who I have come to know only as OMI, Our Man Inside.

I always wonder if my latest batch of OMI treasure will be the last, and the Boss will sniff out the mole and squash him like a bug. I take it as testimony to the size of OMI’s balls and the apparent affection he must have for me that he tempts fate by feeding my adoring obsession with peaking behind the curtain.

I’ve posted precious little about the recent live wrestling show BG East produced for the Fort Lauderdale Pride event last month because, 1) I couldn’t get off work to go down and see it in person, and 2) I’m bitter about #1. Somehow, OMI knew how envious I am of all of the social media celebrations of that event, and like manna from heaven, again I’ve been fed some dizzyingly delightful snapshots from something other than the “official” camera.

Clearly, the event was a who’s who of BG East celebrities. I have no problem with acknowledging that even the pics of these gorgeous hunks fully clothed gets me hard. The fraternal camaraderie in their playful smiles and warm embraces highlights one thing I love about BG East: the “esprit de corps” as several wrestlers I’ve talked to have named it. Even when they do their best to rip each other’s balls off in competition, once egos and bodies have been tested and placed in their proper hierarchy, most of these wrestlers clearly enjoy the community formed by what unites them, namely, a passion for wrestling.

To be honest, I can sit on OMI caches way too long because I want to obsess about every single photo in detail. In order not to fall into that trap with this incredibly tasty OMI collection from the Pride event, I’ll post most of them without comment, but not without deep appreciation and arousal. But, of course, I will comment on a few that grab me by the balls just right.

First of all, look at the assembly of hotness! Fuck, so many names, so many muscles, so many immediate associations in my mind with wrestling matches that I’ve written about and gotten off on repeatedly. There are exactly 5 faces I don’t recognize. Identify everyone in this shot and you can be queen for a day here on the blog.

These assembled shots from the Pride event raise so many summary questions. Who is the guy in the front row snapping a photo of Ty’s sweaty ass as Jonny works him over outside the ring? What sadistic, sexy machinations is Kid Vicious working there in the shadows? Where can I get a leopard print suit!?

I have no doubt that OMI knows exactly what he’s doing to me by sending me shots like this of three of the sexiest wrestlers of all time who I have unapologetically fawned over repeatedly in the pages of this blog. Seeing Scott Williams, Shane McCall, and Brad Rochelle embracing and smiling brightly blows my mind. The time since these stunning wrestlers were last seen in the ring has done nothing but make them sexier. How is there not a Daddy Division at BGE, to scratch that itch, that I know for a fact I’m not the only one who has, to see classic wrestling stars like this back in action? Shane has been quite clear in his interview with me a couple of years back, as well as ongoing comments since then, that he’s still nursing an appreciative rivalry with hot daddy Scott. How is this not a thing!? Look at Scott’s bronzed, bulging deltoid muscle there and explain how the the fuck he isn’t starring in a Returning Classics Championship tournament or, at the very least, his own muscle daddy Wrestler Spotlight!?

Refraining from commenting at length on every one of these photos is killing me, but I know this post will never get published if I start. However, the questions that come to mind in this collection include how is there not an UltraFight 2.5 (The Rematch) in production right now? Exactly how did Brad and KL manage to bury the hatchet after Brad was last seen shoving the Boss’ head in a toilet!? And can someone please tell Shane that if he’s going to build pecs like that, he is morally obligated to get his hotness back into the ring, preferably starting by settling that score he has with Scott?

I sort of think that OMI may know me better than anyone I’ve never met. Not only does he satiate my lust for classic homoerotic wrestling stars, he knows how much I also adore catching those first glimpses of hot, young, aspiring beauties. This pic of assembled youthful hunks makes me desperately hopeful that the known wrestling stars there (Kayden, Ash, Noah, Tommy, Kieran) interspersed among ridiculously pretty young faces I’m not familiar with, hints at some fresh, meaty newbies on the horizon. The backward baseball cap duo have GOT to be the most mouthwatering tag team I’ve never seen in action. Blond Ambition there on the left, the one with the lips, looks ripe for a beating. And holy fuck, Kayden , with those arms, wearing those glasses, is making me swoon. I’d like to order up a 2-on-1 battle in which Tommy and Noah team up to take on Kayden, and, for the record, I’m putting all my money on Kayden.

Again, how NOT to comment for the next 3 months about each and everyone of these hot shots? I know from the poster that Elite Eliot was on the card for the Pride event, but fuck me, those lickable legs of his make me ready to beg to see him in the BG East ring for myself (please tell me this is true!). Is it possible that Ace Aarons got his crack at rubbing the shit-eating grin off of Kirk Donahue’s face? Who in the hell are the too achingly pretty young hotties that Kirk has his arm around, and how long did it take for them to get annoyed by Kirk and double-team his better-than-mediocre ass? Why am I NEVER around to be invited to join in the sexy pool parties!?

As always, OMI, I owe you more than I will ever be able to repay. Keep the smiles, and the dimples, and the beautiful men who make homoerotic wrestling what it is, coming!

Sexiest Nipples

January 8, 2018January 5, 2018 wrestlebard1 Comment

Nary the briefest mention of awarding the wrestler with the sexiest nipples shows up elsewhere in my homoerotic wrestling travels. Clearly, this blog is serving the public good by drawing our attention to try to identify which wrestlers sported the sexiest nipples in the business in 2017.

Transparently, this is the most idiosyncratic category of all. What you might find attractive or sexy in a man’s nipples very well may not be what I find sexy. But that’s really the point of all of this. Tastes vary. Big muscles, small muscles. Six packs, bellies. Skill, power. The beauty of this industry is that it tweaks so many different tastes. Despite the most adamant arguments that I’ve gotten something objectively wrong in blogging about what I find attractive or a turn on, it’s all subjective. So perhaps this category is just an object lesson. Feel free to comment about the nipples that you find sexiest. As for me, the list looks like this…

My third favorite pair of nipples on a wrestler this year belong to BG East’s reigning kissing king, Christian Taylor. There’s something particularly fitting about his beautiful half dollars. Everything about Christian is expansive and broad, and his lush, pinchable nips are perfectly proportioned to his long, lean, extravagant body. Since the kissing king can’t actually kiss his own nipples, I hope Christian knows that I’m available anytime for that task.

In second place is last year’s sexiest nipples winner, Chase Addams. Chase’s headlights yet again demand attention. His ring work thus far has been relatively understated in explicitly erotic heat. It simmers, mind you, but we’ve only gotten subtle glimpses of the erotic motivations that inspire this baby heel to brutality. His eye catching nipples, though, make every match sexually provocative for me. I’m looking forward to the day that we see someone twist those dials with a tongue and a whole lot of passion.

The number one pair of the sexiest nipples in homoerotic wrestling, as far as I’m concerned, this year go to Marco of Thunder’s Arena fame and, more recently, Wrestler4Hire. It’s likely easy to overlook these tasty morsels because Marco is such a physical specimen of beauty in every part and parcel. But give me a half a day to worship this hunk’s body, and I guarantee you I’d be drawn again and again to taste these gorgeous beauties. Certainly, they aren’t Marco’s most impressive feature, by far. But in a world of generic, dime size nubs, his nipples stand out.

Honorable mentions for best nipples to make an appearance in 2017 wrestling action include Mason Brooks (BGE), Cole Cassidy (BGE), Max Ryder (UCW), Zip Zarella (BGE), and Cam Zagucci (Wrestler4Hire, aka Luke Lonza at BGE).

Feel free to muse both about the qualities that make nipples sexy to you, as well as your personal picks for the sexiest nipples in wrestling.

And the Nominees Are…

January 7, 2018January 6, 2018 wrestlebard1 Comment

I’ve learned that discussing how I vote in the BG East Besties is dangerous territory. The longer I’ve been blogging about homoerotic wrestling, the more I’ve grown to know many of the hard working men who make it happen. They never begrudge me my vote, but when I handicap the field and disclose how I cast my ballot, I’ve needed to smooth over some ruffled feathers and tend to friendships at times. So here are some special instructions for the BG East wrestlers I know and have affection for: don’t take any of this too seriously. We love you all. This is way more about the fans than it is about you.

With that preamble out of the way, let’s dig into the Bestie nominations posted on Friday. As opposed to my own personal categories of favorites that I started sharing yesterday, these are my thoughts on those that BG East has nominated for their awards. I don’t see when polls will close, but I’ll try to make this quick so that it may inform any undecided voters looking for tips.

1. Sexiest Match

Instantly, I’m navigating those complicated waters with the first category. I’ve met six of the wrestlers involved in the six nominated matches and interviewed most of those. There’s a spectacular double debut match that burned holes in my retina it was so hot. None of these were misses, but some hit the spot just a little more squarely than others for me. The nominees are…

Ty Alexander vs. Steve Mason (Wrestleshack 21)
Drake Marcos vs. Goren Ford (X-Fights 45)
Ty Alexander vs. Bruno LaBestia (Ringwars 28)
Tommie Hawk vs. Noah Samson (Undagear 28)
Kayden Keller vs. Leon Cyrus (X-Fights 44)
Cage Thunder vs. Mitch Colby (Motel Madness 14)

When I sort through who to vote for sexiest match, I look for a match where both wrestlers express explicit, mutual lust. Kissing is nearly essential. Naked bodies and fully engaged cocks are a major plus. I want to believe that the action is stimulating the wrestlers as much as it is me. Of these nominees, the match that did this best is, arguably, Ty Alexander vs. Steve Mason in Wrestleshack 21. It hits all of my buttons, and the big (HUGE) reveal of Steve’s crotch monster is epic. My fall back option is the astonishingly sexy match between Tommie Hawk and Noah Samson in Undagear 28. Since Ty is splitting the vote this year, I’m guessing that someone else may take the popular vote, but honestly, I don’t even have a good guess as to who that will be.

2. Best Mat Battle

The best mat category is probably the most competitive for me this year. I met 5 of the hunks in these nominated matches last summer and was delighted by them all. When it comes to evaluating mat matches, I look for competitive, intimate, battles with long held moves and close ups of exquisite anguish. I like to see amateur moves translated into a gay, pro context. I prefer the serious sell, with big egos convincing me that they want it, and that the final, humiliating victory is up for grabs. The nominees this year are…

Kirk Donahue vs. Carter Alexander (Backyard Brawls 9)
Cage Thunder vs. Mitch Colby (Motel Madness 14)
Tino Valencia vs. Ski Vance (Catch Weight 8)
Austin Cooper vs. Christian Taylor (Undagear 28)
Calvin Haynes vs. Nino Leone (Catch Weight 8)
Ace Aarons vs. Ash DeLeon (Mat Rookies 3)

So much to choose from! I’m bitterly torn between Austin Cooper vs. Christian Taylor in Undagear 28 and Ace Aarons vs. Ash DeLeon in Mat Rookies 3. My hunch is that when it comes time to pull the lever, I’ll go with the shockingly intense Undagear match with that sensationally surprising ending. My hunch is that the popular vote will swing to Austin and Christian as well, as two of the popular headliners that regularly draw the fans (an advantage over Ace and Ash). Cage and Mitch’s match is, however, already the stuff of legends. But if you really like shocking endings, Calvin and Nino’s battle is soooo sweetly surprising. Damn. This category is tough for me.

3. Best Ring Match

In judging the quality of a ring match, I’m looking for a match that exploits the context. I want a match that treats pro wrestling with the respect it deserves. I like to see power and speed, with a strong narrative and larger than life characters. The nominees for best ring match are…

Joey King vs. Zip Zarella (Ring Kings)
Jonny Firestorm vs. Kirby Stone (Pros in Private 11)
Kid Karisma vs. Jobe Zander (Bulge Battles 1)
Kid Karisma vs. Ethan Andrews (Heel Bash 2)
Cole Cassidy vs. Joshua Goodman (Ringwars 26)
Toney Rico vs. Chase Addams (Ringwars 28)

Another highly competitive slate! Kid Karisma may split his vote. My vote will almost certainly go with Toney Rico vs. Chase Addams in Ringwars 28 this year (see my review for all of the reasons). Kid K and Jobe is awfully close, though. Jonny vs. Kirby has got to be the best ring wrestling of the year, but the narrative isn’t as colorful as Toney and Chase’s. Cole and Joshua put together the most colorful characters and delightful drama, but the wrestling isn’t as pro-forward. My very tentative guess as to who the majority will break for is Jonny and Kirby, mostly based on the hardcore Jonny fanatics out there.

4. Best Squash

My least favorite category. Though I know a lot of you love a good squash. I guess when squashes work for me, I have a reason to both particularly want to see the victim suffer and the dominator dish it out. I also need to be convinced by the stud on the receiving end. Squashes can become boring for me, so the guy getting squashed needs to seriously convince me that he’s hurting, and he’s not phoning it in. This year’s nominees are…

Kayden Keller vs. Carter Alexander (Wrestler Spotlight: Kayden)
Thrash vs. El Favorito (Masked Mayhem 12)
Kid Karisma vs. Reese Wells (Ringwars 27)
Lane Hartley vs. Kirk Donahue (Demolition 22)
Kid Vicious vs. Devon Britt-Darby (Gut Bash 13)
Cap Landon vs. Kelly King (Knock Outs 3)

My choice is Kayden vs. Carter in Kayden’s Wrestler Spotlight. While I do love watching Kayden dig back from a deficit, I never grow tired of watching him plow pretty boys under. I’ve also had a craving to watch Carter getting hurt ever since he let slip in his match with Kid Karisma that he not-so-secretly (anymore) enjoys getting his hair pulled as he’s dominated. For a squash, Kayden keeps the pace intense, and Carter suffers exquisitely. He has this choking, half-laugh sob that makes my crotch twitch. A close second place in this category for me is Thrash vs. El Favorito, though El Favorito has more offense than I typically credit to a squash. Same goes for Kid K vs. Reese. I’ll guess the majority will break either for Kayden and Carter or Lane and Kirk, depending on whether the tide breaks for the leaning-to-erotic or the hardcore indy pro vibe.

5. Best Submissions

Somehow making this category plural clears up my confusion about how to evaluate it. I’m using a standard of making my pick based on the number, variety, and creativity of submissions in a given match. The nominees for the match with the best submissions this year are…

Austin Cooper vs. Christian Taylor (Undagear 28)
Tino Valencia vs. Skip Vance (Catch Weight 8)
Kayden Keller vs. Richie Douglas (Kayden’s Wrestling Spotlight)
Jonny Firestorm vs. Kirby Stone (Pros in Private 11)
Joey King vs. Zip Zarella (Ring Kings)
Chase Addams vs. Charlie Evans (Ring Rookies 5)

By a long shot, for this category I’m going with Jonny vs. Kirby in Pros in Private 11. The submissions fly nearly frantically, except everything is polished, exacting, and precise. Both of these pros are marvelously talented, and they bring out the best (and worst) in each other. It’s just an added bonus that Kirby’s ass drives me crazy. When it comes to the rest of the field, my next choice is a tie between Chase and Charlie and Joey and Zip. I won’t be surprised if Jonny and Kirby win this category, but if not, I suspect it could swing Austin and Christian’s way.

6. Hottest Liplock

When I’m deciding which wrestling liplock is hottest, I’m looking for passion. I prefer liplocks harshly ambivalent, with equal parts rage and lust. The nominees this year are as follows…

Christian Taylor vs. Mason Brooks (Bedroom Brawl 3)
Calvin Haynes vs. Nino Leone (Catch Weight 8)
Ash DeLeon vs. Ace Aarons (Mat Rookies 3)
Lauden Sevior vs. Drake Marcos (Undagear 27)
Nino Leone vs. Bruno LaBestia (Wrestleshack 21)
Ty Alexander vs. Steve Mason (Wrestleshack 21)

I’m solidly voting for Ash and Ace in Mat Rookies 3. Talk about a gorgeous concoction of passionate lust and passionate aggression! Damn. A runner-up option for me would be Lauden and Drake. I don’t know who the popular vote will follow, but if I had to guess, I’d say Ty and Steve, based mostly on Ty’s get-out-the-vote credentials.

7. Best Overall Match

This category seems self-explanatory. I feel obligated to swing toward one of the “Best of” matches I’ve already picked, though there are a couple of matches in this category that weren’t nominated above, which makes open to a dark horse pick in my mind. In any case, this is the slate of nominees:

Cole Cassidy vs. Joshua Goodman (Ringwars 26)
Jonny Firestorm vs. Kirby Stone (Pros in Private 11)
Ty Alexander vs. Bruno LaBestia (Ringwars 28)
Austin Cooper vs. Christian Taylor (Undagear 28)
Kid Karisma vs. Jobe Zander (Bulge Battles 1)
Kid Karisma vs. Reese Wells (Ringwars 27)

So yes to all of the above, but of these options, I’m going with Kid K vs. Jobe in Bulge Battles 1. This was a sensational match against two astonishingly accomplished homoerotic wrestling veterans. The suspense is fantastic. The action is graphic. The personalities are over the top in a way that only the likes of Kid K and Jobe can quite pull off. Second place for me is somewhere between Cole and Mr. Joshua, Jonny and Kirby, and Austin and Christian. My hunch is that Kid K splits his vote again and neither of his matches take the category. Instead, I think Cole and Mr. Joshua might pull of an upset, based on the fevered pleasure both Alex and I have for that match, though again, there’s Ty and his aggressive get-out-the-vote campaign.

So that’s my take on the first half of the ballot. What’s yours?

So Close

January 4, 2018January 3, 2018 wrestlebard1 Comment

I was recently chatting with a friend about the potent allure of a baby heel. I love it when they’re fresh and young and hot and mean as fuck. I also love suspense, so when an up-and-coming heel cockily climbs into the ring with an air of vulnerability about his nascent career, I get excited to see what happens.

Chase Addams has successfully excited me for the past year and half as he’s started clawing his way into BG East. He’s frequently indulged my prurient curiosity in him by granting me interviews. In fact, I’m guessing I’ve never interviewed a rookie this often with this few matches under his belt. I like the look and sound of Chase. I like his explicit devotion to promoting quality professional wrestling for a gay audience. I love his moves and his ambition. I want to see him kick ass as he settles into the role of a vicious, obviously dangerous, unapologetically sexy baby heel. But he’s still raw, rawer than he’d probably like to admit. For all of his studied skills and training, he could get his ass kicked based on chance and inexperience alone. He’s a mean fucker, so my money is typically going to be on him, but then again, he could lose, and that potential turns me on twice as hard as I watch him step into the ring in Ringwars 28.

Big Toney Rico looks even bigger in person

Chase’s opponent is big Toney Rico. This is my first serious look at Toney in the ring. Fuck, he’s huge. I actually saw Toney in passing during my visit to BG East this summer. He’d been stuck in traffic on his way to tape this match, in fact. So when he blew in, he stripped down to those shiny silver square cuts, hydrated extensively, and then almost immediately headed to the ring room with a now slightly iced Chase. On the one hand, this gave me a chance to interview Chase and to study the fit of those black, custom trunks that I sponsored for him a couple of months ago. With a knowing grin, Chase let me eye fuck him as he showed off every angle, lifting his arms and turning on my command as I read his ass.

Chase giving me a long look at how these Bard-sponsored trunks fit, moments before his match with Toney.

So, sure, I owe big Toney for more Chase time. But on the other hand, I sensed that Chase was feeling just a little miffed at being left hanging. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to admit it, but the delay may have frayed the young stud’s nerves just a tad, as impatience crept into his voice.

Toney wants Chase to know that there are no hard feelings. WTF?!?

I’d half suspect that big Toney did it on purpose, if it weren’t for the fact that he’s such a fucking Boy Scout. A hunk this beefy and this sportsmanly is a rarity in this business. He holds the ropes for Chase to more conveniently climb into the ring. I know what you’re thinking. I was thinking it, too. Chase was thinking it, as well. Toney was in perfect position to exploit Chase with one foot in and one foot out of the ring. He could have viciously yanked up on the middle rope and racked the baby heel. He could have driven a knee to Chase’s chest as he crouched underneath the top rope. It was a vulnerable moment that Chase cautiously walked into with his eyes wide open. But Toney didn’t do any of those things. He was just being helpful. What the fuck?!

Chase knows that Toney breaks for ropes, the dope.

Chase similarly struggles to believe the read he’s getting on Toney as the big rookie repeatedly offers a sportsmanly handshake to demonstrate he has no hard feelings. He’s so fucking upright. With a body that beautifully built, he could dictate his own rules against an opponent Chase’s size (40 pounds lighter). But he’s such a Dudley Do-Right that he just obeys all the rules of fairness and civil conduct. He’s banking entirely on his physical strength and newbie ring skills to give him the fighting chance he needs to demonstrate his clean-cut superiority. Oh, fuck, I’m hating this guy so much. Make this fucker weep like a baby, Chase!

Toney diligently keeps the action in the middle of the ring.

The battle is a sweetly engaging teeter-totter, baby heel vs. baby babyface. Big Toney can essentially shot put Chase across the ring at will. Toney works his advantages with blunt force, muscle dominating Chase with tests of strength and effortless lifts. He impales Chase’s gut with a shoulder block in the corner, but like the goodie-goodie he is, he pulls Chase off the ropes to snap mare him into the middle of the ring.

Chase, on the other hand, exploits the ropes to their full, rule-breaking advantage.

For his part, Chase sucks down the pounding punishment like a pro and delivers surgical, vicious, rule-breaking strikes to level the playing field. A sudden heel strike to the side of Toney’s knee drops the big man abruptly. Instantly, he positions Toney’s throat across the bottom rope and chokes him relentlessly, kicking, butt dropping, and eventually full out standing on the babyface’s shoulders, full bodyweight pressing Toney’s throat into the rope and cutting off air to his lungs. The baby heel is unquestionably vulnerable against the overwhelming muscle and mass of his opponent, but as fresh as he is, this is definitely not Chase’s first rodeo. They trade momentum back and forth, but I can totally believe that Chase is on his way to pulling this out.

But then Toney scoops Chase up in an effortless cradle and holds him there. It’s a boss move. It’s completely fair and totally bad ass, demonstrating that Chase’s hot body is at his mercy. Finally, big Toney drops to one knee and slams the living fuck out of Chase’s back, holding him for a couple of seconds in an OTK, literally bouncing the baby heel on his knee before spilling him to the mat in a heap of anguish. Toney deliberately drops to the mat and pins his opponent’s shoulders to the mat, slapping down a 2 count before Chase kicks out. As they start to get to their feet, Toney offers another handshake to demonstrate that he’s still got no hard feelings, despite his sick ass brutal muscle domination. “Get that away from me!” Chase snaps furiously. “What is wrong with you!?”

And right there and then, I’m starting to get worried about our boy. It seems almost as if Chase was prepared to go toe to toe with another rule breaking bad boy, but is thrown off his game by big Toney’s extravagant sportsmanship. That note of impatience that I sensed in Chase’s voice a half an hour earlier creeps back in, as if Toney is ironically crawling under Chase’s skin with his iconoclastic, straight laced, dispassionately rule-abiding earnestness. There’s a bubbling rage in Chase that makes me seriously worried that he could get plowed under here, if his emotions get the best of him.

Chase broken in half in a series of power OTKs.

Indeed, Toney is pitching in probably a little over 50% of this match, and every gentlemanly offer of a handshake just keeps riling Chase up worse and worse. The baby heel gets rung out in more than one sensationally intimate bearhug. The desperation rises in Chase’s voice as he’s slapped down and ground underneath this mountain of straight-edge muscle. As I think about it, I was probably interviewing Kayden Keller out back right around the time Toney was scooping Chase up again in that total boss cradle, parading him around the ring, and pounding him down into another OTK. Then Toney muscles him up again, still in that same cradle, takes a step, and fucking drives Chase’s back down across his thigh, making the baby heel cry out. Then again, Toney muscles him up in that same cradle, takes another step, and drives him down again, pounding Chase’s tingling spine across his OTK still again, making our boy scream.

This is nowhere near the end of this match, and fortunes turn back and forth with sweet suspense. And since we’re talking about boss moves, you’ll have to watch for Chase trussing Toney up in a corner, spread-eagle suspended across the bottom ropes, before taking a running point-after kick driving Toney’s balls up into his throat. Both of these sweat soaked battlers celebrate victory with a pin fall. It’s just that one of them celebrates too soon.

Chase digs deep to level the playing field

So if you can’t tell, I love this match. I love the personalities. I love (to hate) big Toney’s relentless good guy schtick. I’m sucked in, as always, by the acrobatics and dexterity of Chase’s high class pro submissions. I love the psychological battle almost as much as the physical battle. I love not knowing who’s going to walk out of the ring the winner, leaving his battered opponent completely unconscious and drowning in a pool of both men’s sweat, liplocked and bested.

But I also love this match for how it sucks me in. When my boy Chase is getting pummeled and humiliated, it makes me want to dive into the ring and rescue him. Watching Toney bounce him in that OTK, listening to Chase scream, it ignites in me that same type of fantasy that drew me in so completely, watching pro wrestling as a kid. It makes me want to be there, to pick sides, to put my finger to the scales by wrapping my big bicep across Toney’s throat just when he thinks he’s got Chase owned. I want to hang from Toney’s chinlock as I bend him backward across the top rope, for Chase to deliver another vicious punt to the big man’s balls. I think it’s why I favor competitive matches, and why I’m so eager to pick my favorites. At its best, pro wrestling always drags me into the action in my mind. In this case it’s just that much more poignant knowing I was literally just 100 yards away.

In addition to getting off on the action as well as on the rewrite in my mind that ends with Toney screaming a final submission completely suspended off the mat in my Boston crab back-to-sweaty-back with Chase’s chinlock camel clutch, I’m also enjoying this match for whatever comes next. I have been craving a big, dominant, babyface bruiser to leave a wake at BG East for a while, and holy shit, Toney Rico could very well fill those wrestling boots. Of course I can’t wait to see him suffer, but I get the strong impression that big Toney will take down more than his fair share of hopeful heels along the way, perhaps balancing the scales just a bit at the notoriously heel-dominated company. And I’m also looking forward to watching Chase become, match by match, more himself. I want to see him grow meaner, more focused, and enjoy it just a little more. And I hope he just can’t shake that little twist of baby heel vulnerability that makes me believe he could use a little hand now and then from an amorous fan.

I’ve got your back, Chase.

“It’s like an orgy all day long”

September 22, 2017December 19, 2022 wrestlebard2 Comments

I admit to having quickly developed an infatuation with Chase Addams. I’ve indulged that infatuation with conducting now three interviews, all for a rookie wrestler with just that same number of published matches. There are many elements to what intrigues and seduces me about the Charming One. Of course there’s the hot, lean body and those oft-mentioned nipples. You don’t have to scratch beneath my surface far to know that any openly gay wrestler who seriously loves professional wrestling will hold my attention. He wrestles an excellent story, too. But there’s still more that keeps me coming back for more. So little wonder, given the opportunity, I sat Charming Chase down at BG East during my visit this summer and put him on the record and on audio this time.

In the first portion of our conversation, I learned a little about what a typical day of wrestling for BG East looks like for Chase. He discussed that breakout moment when wrestlers he’s crushed on from afar have returned the respect and interest. And Chase and I discuss which newbie BG East wrestler he and I (and apparently a broad swath of fans) currently hate on most.

Chase Addams Interview – Part 1:

Chase2 — Chase struts his stuff in Bard-approved gear

As our conversation continued, Chase offered his take on what it’s like to be surrounded by smoking hot gay wrestlers roaming the grounds of BG East all at one time (from which the title of this post comes). And Chase gives some insight into what it’s like to go all out to pry an opponent apart piece by piece, and then find yourself hanging out between the matches at a later date.

Chase Addams Interview – Part 2:

Finally, Chase gave me a glimpse into the headspace it takes for him to prepare for a match. We speculate on which merit badges you can earn at a taping as we explore an extended metaphor of BG East to summer camp. We conclude with attempting to speculate how it could be possible to oversell the promise, potential, and pure wrestling entertainment value of Chase Addams.

Chase: “I’ve got to find a new way to make this innovative and to make this interesting.”

Chase: “Ace Aarons… *he’s* going to be there!? And he wants to wrestle me!?”

0130_lg — Chase: My first match “was an overnight viral thing.”

Chase: [On seeing Charlie Evans after they wrestled in Ring Rookies 5] “I think I could have broken his neck and come back and he’d still make eye contact with me. He’s just that kind of person.”

unnamed — Chase: “It’s like an orgy all day long.”

Chase: “I’m not high on my own hype. I just know what I’m capable of. I’m just that good.”

“I have no shame”

August 9, 2017December 19, 2022 wrestlebard5 Comments

As I mentioned, on my last pilgrimage to BG East North this summer I was given the thrilling opportunity to sit down, face to face, and interview several BG East wrestlers in those moments between them taping matches. Ty Alexander seemed particularly keen to cozy up to my mic, and it is no surprise to me in the least that my interview with the Trophy Boy was long, intense, and peppered with several unexpected twists and turns. If you listen to our interview below, you’ll hear what I mean when I say that Ty is the master of the inside joke. I’ll do my best to let you in on the jokes, but honestly, with Ty, I always feel like there’s another layer of meaning I have yet to discover. It may help (or not) for you to know ahead of time that Ty has repeatedly called me out to kick my ass, and the more muscular he gets, the more actively I’ve tried to steer clear of a Trophy Boy ass kicking (judge me if you will). It also may, or may not, provide helpful context to know that a little while ago, Ty gifted me with the pair of Calvin Kleins that he and Drake fought so bitterly over in Babyface Brawl X. As with my interview with Kayden, Ty’s tightly toned body was distracting, and I don’t believe that’s by accident. Ty wore the least amount of clothing of any of my interviewees, and he drew attention to his tanned muscles repeatedly. On the one hand, if you know Ty, you know it’s always about Ty. On the other hand, I strongly suspect that there was considerable method to the Trophy Boy’s madness in showing up to his interview in his green Nike compression briefs and pretty much nothing else.

Ty Alexander: “I’m a lot more lean and muscular now than I have been previously.”

In this first portion of the interview, we learn about the ongoing evolution of Ty, both physically and his prospects to dig himself out of the deep jobber hole he’s been in. Ty discusses what fans really long to see, and what the chances may be of there ever being a Ty heel-turn. Learn about Ty’s big weakness, and his impression of how BG East is living into the age of social media.

Ty Alexander Interview – Part 1:

20641928_2034314276802715_15437980_o In the next portion of our interview, talks about his favorite classic BGE wrestlers, and exactly what it’s like to meet your gay wrestling hero in person (and get your ass kicked by him). He explores some of the differences between Ty the wrestler and Ty in the rest of his life. Hear Ty’s response to my direct question of whether he is Our Man Inside. We bond over the prototype of the wrestling nerd hunk. And as further evidence that he is the master of the inside joke, delve into the mystery of who Ty may, or may not, be roommates with.

Ty Alexander Interview – Part 2:

0404_lg In the final portion of the interview, learn about the likelihood of seeing Ty naked in a future match (hint: it’s really, really high). Discover how this post got its title, and how that relates to a description of Ty covered in cum strolling around BG East after a particularly explosive match. I give a shout out to Kid Leopard for my next invitation to visit BGE (Ty is involved). Ty answers the question of which BGE wrestlers are hooking up with each other (“who isn’t!?”). And finally, listen to how this particular interview ended with Ty’s hands down my pants. No kidding.

Ty Alexander Interview – Part 3:

Ty: “Mike Columbo was one of my favorites to watch and get off to.”

Ty: “My first filming I was just kind of very shy and very quiet. It was one of those things where I think *I can’t believe I’m actually doing this*! I watched this for so long, and I’ve always wanted to do it. And I never thought I actually could do it.”

Ty: “Everybody deserves the right to wrestle and have fun with it.”

Ty: “There’s nothing better than a hot nerd.”

Bard: “I think readers of my blog will think that I’m bullshitting them when I say that Ty really is the gear maven on shoots.”

Sex Appeal

July 20, 2017 wrestlebardLeave a comment

A recurring theme here has been my perpetual self-reflection on what it is about homoerotic wrestling that speaks to me. A regular point of perseveration has been what makes a wrestling match particularly “homoerotic.” I can get off on mainstream straight pro wrestling probably almost as much as the next guy, but my bread and butter continues to be this particular industry marketed specifically to gay men. And I know that within this industry, there are straight wrestlers, and the erotic heat that emanates from a lot of matches is what I’m bringing to it as a viewer. And I’m okay with that, as long as the whole interaction effect isn’t cloaked in a closeted wink-wink, where the producer and we know that this is marketed with a gay eye in mind, but the whole thing is kept strictly on the straight side of the fence so that a fan can exercise plausible deniability if they’re caught with an incriminating browser history (“I was just checking out some underground pro, bro”). Yawn.

Richie Douglas won this match the moment he realized how much Goren Ford wanted his body.

But it also isn’t just an issue of wrestlers pulling out their porn-ready cocks and wrestling hard and naked. Though there’s nothing wrong with that, as far as I’m concerned. In fact, I’m advocating for more straight forward naked wrestling, not just the last 2 minutes of a match before it devolves into out of control face sucking (not that I have any problem with that, either!). But what I key off of isn’t just the explicit homoeroticism of naked bodies, by any means. There’s this sweet spot right in the middle of straight-up pro with me supplying all of the erotic subtext, and hardcore porn with a clumsy grapple as appetizer.

Chase Addams puts his finger right on the sweet spot.

It’s sexy because of intention and attention. Like when a wrestler acknowledges that his opponent looks hot. The phrase, “Nice ass,” or “sweet pecs,” is pure gold when it comes to dialing a match squarely into the territory that grabs me hard. Of course a “no-homo” disavowal will totally kill that buzz, but happily I see less and less of that in the wrestling I watch these days. They don’t have to get their dicks out. Just notice, appraise the obvious assets of an opponent, and you’ve drawn me into the match. I’m invested 10 times more if the wrestlers state the obvious fact that they are both gorgeous specimens. I never see this in straight-up pro (not that I watch it much anymore), and I think it’s an angle that’s probably even more disruptive of heteronormativity than even getting your gear ripped off. Guys look at guys. Guys appreciate guys. Guys can be turned on by getting their hands on guys. The eroticism peaks long before (and even in the absence of) any cum being added to the recipe.

Giant Killer Baby Boy Leone pushes Calvin Haynes buttons.

I’ve mentioned before that I regularly push rewind around the time I get to more explicit sexual content at the end of harder-core matches. Like when I was following Naked Kombat, I would skim over the sex round to see if anyone comes close to Rusty Stevens’ perfect mix of corporal punishment, humiliation, and wrestling domination (naked pony rides, leg scissor armbars used like an accelerator pedal to taunt, tease, and torment a loser by commanding them to jack off just shy of orgasm again and again). The fucking itself, even the acrobatic, artistic fucking of professional porn stars who somehow are able to stretch and maneuver into positions that I’m pretty sure would dislocate multiple joints if I attempted them, comes across as downright pedestrian to me. The erotic heat is the sweat-inducing wrestling competition. It’s the suspense and the battle. It’s the passion to dominate knowing that the loser is going to get fucked, rather than the loser getting fucked, in and of itself.

Lauden worships the mat Drake beats him on.

So I love the story of a wrestler having to battle with his own lust to stay focused on beating his opponent. The erotic offense of one hunk destroying his opponent’s defenses with a nibble of the ear or a stroke of his hot body strikes me as the height of homoerotic. There’s a fantastic, frustrating, intensely provocative tease near the end of some matches where the lines between competition and giving in to total lust get so blurred that I can’t tell what’s an openly erotic trap and what’s just mutual submitting to the intimate passion of bodies grinding into bodies. So when one wrestler is ready to just get down to hooking up, and the other is just playing along long enough to snap shut a sleeper, or pound out a finishing OTK, or slip on a knee-breaking figure-4 leglock for the final, screaming, totally vulnerable submission, fuck that puts me over. Whipping out cocks and sucking and fucking at that point is totally vanilla, as far as I’m concerned. I’m pushing rewind to watch that look of shock wash across the loser’s face when he realizes his lust just walked him by the nose into becoming the property of his new master.

Skip Vance dials up homoerotic heat with Hawk Rodman

My tastes are broad and varied. I can get off on a wide spectrum of homoerotic content, from barely implied by the copyright holder to blistering hot fuck stakes consummated. But that sweet spot that I crave most in the middle of the normal distribution is unmistakable, and yet resists the easy out of sliding too quickly into hardcore porn. It’s an open nod to me, the audience, and an intentional grappling with the erotic potential between two smoking hot hunks hell bent on dominating one another. It’s a look, a groan, a nibble, a slap, a gasping grope, an unfocused reverie. It’s stating the obvious, that two barely clad studs pounding, grinding, and crushing into one another is potently intimate and powerfully arousing. Guys like guys. Wrestling ensues….