Divinity

The release of BG East’s 3rd installment of their summer catalog #103 sent my heart racing. In particular, the Florida Fights 5 compilation grabbed my attention by the balls with a line up of wrestlers directly out of several of my fondest fantasies. Nipple-tastic Mason Brooks stepping into the ring for the first time, facing sunsetting HWOTM jobber extraordinaire Ty Alexander is all sorts of titillating. The promise of one of the most gorgeous muscle men in competition, Tyrell Tomsen, throttling the fuck out of Jobe Zander’s mammoth “Centerpiece” just leaves me breathless thinking about it. One of my all-time favorite wrestler emeritus, Mitch Colby shoving underwear model Rio Garza’s face hard and often into his hungry crotch is enough, all on its own, to make me spot my trousers with pre-cum just writing this sentence. But I honestly did not know what I was missing in life before I got a chance to spend time with my remote control and the climactic final match in this compilation, starring Logan Vaughn’s gargantuan, hairy quads and Trey Dixon’s tongue.

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Trey finds it tough to compete against a muscle god who’s making you melt.

I was first in line to savor Logan’s debut with BG East not long ago, facing off against juggernaut heel Lane Hartley in Hunkbash 15. I’d hoped for more of a contest back then, but as you might imagine, big Lane ripped Logan apart with his signature heartlessness. Logan was outclassed from start to finish, to put it mildly. Always one to ache for the thrill of competition, I was yet enthralled by the site of Logan, as green as can be, get the living shit beat out of him by one of the most seasoned, physically dominant, ice cold heels currently in the business. The unwritten rules of pro wrestling that I wish homoerotic pro lived within the confines of a little more still today include the juicy nugget that the hottest, prettiest, beefiest newbies to show up in the ring must, under any and all circumstances, get trashed like my used kleenex. For the hot homage to classic babyface initiation brutality, and to get to see Logan’s sensational ass and, have I mentioned his fucking fabulously huge thighs, in the BG East ring, I was a happy camper.

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“I told you you couldn’t hand with this legs.”

After watching his sophomore appearance in Florida Fights 5, I fucking need a water bottle a smoke! I’m on record as being completely infatuated with Oscar-statue-come-to-life Trey Dixon, Logan’s opponent. There are a multitude of reasons Trey absolutely owned the title of HWOTM for his December 2014 new release Gear Wars 4. Now 8 months later, there’s this instant chemistry that starts titrating as soon as Trey climbs into the ring and faces the vision in green that is Logan Vaughn. They trade verbal barbs, but you can cut the sexual tension with a hatchet. Both super hot boys like what they see. I like what they see. Both of them can’t tear their attention away from Logan’s epic quads. He promises that he’ll use those humungous tree trunks to milk the last drop of cum and tears from Trey. Okay, he doesn’t actually say “cum and tears,” but I’m not exaggerating when I say that there’s one self-evident truth seconds into this match: whatever is about to happen, it’s going to be all about Logan’s luscious legs.

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It’s all about those monster quads!

For many wrestling fans, the epiphany in this match is the sensationally sexy muscle worship that overcomes beautiful Trey not just once, not even merely twice, but on three separate occasions in this confrontation. For some reason, it takes me by surprise the first time one of the most erotic wrestlers in the business reaches up and breathlessly strokes Logan’s divine body.  Had you been a fly on the wall here in chez Bard, you’d have heard me mutter with equal measures of shock and awe, “Oh, fuck yes!” Each of the 3 muscle worship moments is a plot point. The first happens relatively early on after Logan has demonstrated he can drive Trey to delirium the moment any part of the lean stud’s body gets trapped between his massive thighs. He commands Trey to remove his knee pads, which I swear to the homoerotic wrestling gods, he’s reading my mind as I desperately want to see the huge bulging heads on his superb quads. Trey obeys, his hands suddenly unable to resist touching every inch of the muscle god. The veteran appears rapt in primal lust and awe, slowly traversing Logan’s muscles from front to back. But suddenly, the stubborn stud exploits the moment to snap on an ambush full nelson.

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Homoerotic wrestling holy sacrament

Muscle worship session #2 occurs after Trey has accumulated a bit of riding time, merely to be crushed and humiliated again, and again, and again by Logan’s hairy, sweaty (have I used the adjective “titanic” yet?) thighs. He’s submitted repeatedly, each time with less fuel left in his tank. Finally, he’s on nothing but fumes, staring up at his new dazzlingly beautiful god. He slowly crawls to his knees and begins to worship again. “Yeah, worship those muscles,” Logan commands. Trey obeys. “You wish you were this powerful. You wish you were this strong.” Trey licks the sweat from those stunning, hairy thighs. His tongue traces upward until his mouth envelops the hefty bulge hanging heavily in Logan’s pouch. You can see that Logan likes it, but like the divine taskmaster he is, he just silently lifts his arms and flexes his beautiful biceps, wordlessly willing his worshipper to adore every magnificent muscle. And Trey does, that sexy tongue licking up Logan’s ribcage, caressing his sweaty armpit, sampling those peaked biceps, and slowly traversing down Logan’s muscled back. It’s Trey biting Logan’s fantasyman ass that really sets off fireworks for me. Not hard, just genuinely, lustfully ravenous to taste this muscle Messiah’s flesh on his tongue in reverent homoerotic wrestling sacrament.

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Logan has Trey all wrapped up.

This is some of the finest wrestling muscle worship I’ve ever seen, mind you. But as hot as it is, I have to say that the wrestling itself raises the bar even higher for me. It’s as if, having been so outmuscled and outclassed in his debut drubbing, Logan is pedaling down hill all the way with this smaller, relatively less experienced opponent who so obviously craves to be bent to a muscle god’s will. Both boys sell like champs, which isn’t such a revelation for Trey, but absolutely thrills me to no end with regard to Logan. The fabulous pornboy turned wrestler exploits his pride and joy tree trunks with holds I’ve never seen before and if I ever see again, will always remind me of Logan. Standing head scissors with Trey’s legs suspended from the middle turnbuckle are so completely dominating. Later, with Trey’s arms tied in the ropes, Logan somehow manages to wrap his opponent’s legs around his own colossal right leg and apply a suspended figure-4 leg lock that makes Trey scream in a panic. Logan doesn’t just convincingly dominate, he communicates beautifully a carnal delight in both delivering and witnessing this phenomenal beatdown of a ripped, hot stud like Trey.

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Whatever the fuck this is, I adore it.

“Yeah, bitch,” Logan sneers, “don’t mess with the muscle!” But of course, that’s precisely what Trey is here to do. That’s exactly what I’m tuning in to admire. “Love the pain!” he barks in his opponent’s face, nearly making Trey’s face disappear between his inner thighs in an epically long crotch-to-face head scissors. “I like to watch you struggle,” Trey’s new master explains. And Trey obliges over and over and over.

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“I like to watch you struggle”

Logan eventually knocks him the fuck out. He flexes, his soaked body glistening underneath the lights. Here and now, he owns this ring.  And he most definitely owns Trey Dixon. “Come on,” he barks as Trey blinks back to consciousness, struggling to get his bearings. “You’ve got some more muscle worshipping to do!” Trey’s god commands, whistling him over like a lap dog. Trey obediently crawls on his hands and knees, obeying his master’s voice, drawn by the gravitational pull of the magnificent muscles flexing in the middle of the ring. On his knees yet again, he squeezes, strokes, licks…

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Obeying his master

Um, if you can’t tell, I love this match. A lot. To say I highly recommend it is an under-statement.

Fighting a Dick

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(L) John “Suplex” Smith v ® Logan “Leg Lock” Vaughn

I’ve been a fan of Logan Vaughn since I saw him in way underutilized in Ultimate Top. He’s hot from head to toe, but those legs of his blow my mind!  It’s no wonder, when posed with choosing the obligatory nickname for his Naked Kombat debut, that he/they chose to call him Logan “Leg Lock” Vaughn.  His telephone pole thighs simply cannot be ignored when summing up what grabs you most about Logan, and if you want to intimidate an opponent, just call to mind the possibility of getting “grabbed” and crushed by those gargantuan quads.

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John quickly grabs hold of the momentum

Logan hits the NK mats at 5’10” and 175 pounds.  When asked what he thinks of John “Suplex” Smith, Logan focuses on THE ONLY weakness evident at the outset, smirking “he’s pretty pasty. He needs a tan. So I’m going to kick him where the sun doesn’t shine.”  The problem is, a lack of tan (only arguably a “weakness,” at best) is pretty much the only thing to pick on.  A self-reported two time All-American wrestler with extensive MMA experience past and present, lean and in phenomenal condition with washboard abs carved out of (pale white) marble, John is ripped and resumed!  He’s 3 inches taller, but the same weight, so perhaps it’s a little stretch when he calls out Logan as “scrawny, but cute.”  On face value, though, I’m seeing instantly that conditioning and cardio, not to mention a mountain of technique and skill, are going to make this a really, really bad day for unlucky Logan.

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Even when Logan is on top, you get the feeling John is in complete control

The first round looks like more of a back and forth scramble at first blush, but I don’t argue with the NK point tally at the end of the round that gives the advantage 18-9 to John.  “Suplex” is in control, whether he’s on top or bottom (love that in a man), and there are moments where it seems clear that he’s just letting Logan push some offense. For example, despite his masterful balance and control, he just allows Logan to put him on his back, slide up his torso to a schoolboy pin, and smash John’s face into Logan’s crotch.  Yeah, I can understand why John would be more than happy to give away those points.  It’s not like he’s going to have any problem winning them back.  It’s Logan’s trunks that get ripped off first, though understandably it takes some doing to stretch the red fabric around those gargantuan thighs (have I pointed out that enough!?).  John’s trunks come of his lean, streamlined body soon afterward.  By the time the first round score is announced, Logan is clearly winded, while the all-American stallion looks like he hasn’t even started.

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Logan’s legs are phenomenal!!! (as is the rest of him, but seriously, look at those legs!)

Of course I watched this match entirely to feed my infatuation with Logan, but John is now firmly in my radar for wrestling kink.  Watching him play Logan’s body like a pipe organ is incredibly sexy, and there’s just nothing but incredibly defined, hot athletic muscle on him.  In round 2 he starts to get into the moment, muttering “yeah, yeah,” as he relishes the feel of Logan struggling impotently in yet another immobilizing hold.  Jock straps are ripped off. There’s no disguising that this is 100% John’s match pretty much every moment.  When Logan uses his superior muscle mass to power on top, you can watch his endurance meter dive each and every time.  At the end of round 2, they announce that the score is now 32-16 for John.  In 2 rounds, Logan hasn’t managed to catch up to John’s first round!

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John places his full weight onto the lower back of bodybuilder beast of burden Logan.

Production gets weird when immediately after the end of round 2, they come out and announce “at the end of round 3” John has won the match 32-16.  Round 3?  What the fuck?  The gladiator pornboys don’t argue.  John gets down to force-feeding Logan his cock.  There’s a most excellently selected pony ride, as the star athlete makes the bodybuilder powerhouse his beast of burden.  He fucks him, steps on his face, forces Logan to lick his own cum off of John’s toes.  “Leg locks didn’t do anything for you this time, did they, fucking little bitch!” John finishes the erotic domination strong.

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John Smith keeps taunting, smirking, belittling Logan post-match like a heel.

Unlike many NK post-match interviews, John keeps the trash talking going strong, belittling and taunting Logan who has to silently witness the conversation.  There are a couple moments where Logan flexes his stunning quads, making me think that he’s not taking it good-naturedly.  Little wonder, because when it’s Logan’s turn to interview, he quickly explains he had a pre-existing back injury coming into the match.  After attempting to lift his opponent a third time in round 2, Logan reports that he knew he was finished.  Couldn’t do it again. Couldn’t manage a round 3.  So considering Logan took the sex round like a sport, looking back on John’s choice of a pony ride mounted across Logan’s injured back, as well as his post-match taunts and smirks, it all certainly makes “Suplex” seem like a real dick!  Which, if we just get this thoroughbred into a pro wrestling ring, will serve him excellently.

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We learn well after the fact that Logan had a back injury all along, which places the whole match in a different light!

I hope Logan’s back is better, and I hope this doesn’t put him off more homoerotic wrestling.  Despite his nickname, he had no opportunities to crush John like a pop can between his massive, sexy thighs, and until I see a lot more of that, I will continue to feel that we’ve yet to see all of what Logan has to offer.  He doesn’t look happy post-match, but he promises that he’s going to come back for a sophomore match for NK once he’s fully recovered from his back injury.  Score.

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Should the Opportunity Arise

There’s been a pretty insane rush to marry around my neck of the woods this weekend.  Another judge determines that blatant discrimination enshrined at any level of state law is bullshit, and the flood gates bust open. Despite my long-standing skepticism about the impact of same-sex marriage on liberty, and the screwed up priorities of aggressively pushing for marriage rights while we have no universal fair employment or housing rights, I must admit it’s quite an adrenaline rush to see moes lined up to marry.  I can almost literally feel domesticity creep over me.  The taming of same-sex partnerships, shoe-horning the vast diversity of them into the constraints of acceptable heterosexual expectations threatens even my more radical commitments to the need for revolution rather than reform.  With negotiated fidelity on the line, in the face of closeting the all-male menage a trios, the couples that date thirds, the contractual anything-goes-out-of-town loving relationships, I can just feel the gravitational pull of whitebread hetero monogamy built on centuries of religious strictures consuming us alive.  As a personal commitment to keep the “alternative” in gay, let me just affirm for me and my special someone (who reads these pages, even though we never really talk about them) a few of the wrestling hunks for whom a legally “libertarian” inclusion into the structure of one-man-one-man loving would be instantly out the window, should the opportunity arise for some extracurricular (or, hell, three-way) activities.  I’m sure absolute monogamy is great for many, but here’s a sample of who could climb into my/our bed anytime.

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Mitch Colby… he’s all mine!
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Darius… I’d share him with my partner.
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Landon Conrad… I think I’d have to have him all to myself, or possibly with another one of his gorgeous pornboy stud buddies.
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Trey Dixon and Skrapper… I’d be the filling in that sandwich anytime!
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Cameron Matthews… I’d have zero inhibitions faced with him!
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Kid Karisma… all mine.
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Marcus Ruhl… more than enough to share with this massive hunk of muscle.
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Logan Vaughn… I’d need some private time with those gargantuan thighs.
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Chris Xaos… me, my partner, and ever Britboy wrestling hunk we can find can pile on!

The Next Morning

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I cannot possibly pay more attention to Russell Tovey because I’ve been completely obsessed for years.

A friend re-posted this completely unnecessary BuzzFeed homage to convince us that we ought to be infatuated with Russell Tovey. That ship sailed years ago. He’s appeared in two homoerotic wrestling fantasy pieces of fiction of mine, and countless more in my imagination. He’s also looking buffer and buffer lately, as if he needed to increase his raw, dorky, intense sexiness.  I’d donate a kidney to wake up in the morning and see that sexiness staring back at me.  Which made me think, who else would I both want to wrestle, fuck, AND wake up in the morning next to?

Fortunately, the selfie craze provides a lot of material to try out. Here are few of my homoerotic wrestling fantasymen who have shared exactly what it would look like to roll over in the morning after a night of full throttle erotic wrestling and see what’s left in the dawn-kissed light of day.

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Possibly my pick for the sexiest man on the planet who I have not seen wrestle, Eliad Cohen looks like he’d be ready for the rematch the morning after.
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John Magnum made a HUGE impression on me by making a HUGE impression all over poor Philip Aubrey’s lean body in John’s one appearance on Naked Kombat. The boy can wrestle and fuck, and waking up next to that gorgeous ass would make all that punishment he dished out the night before totally worth it.
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Friend of neverland and former homoerotic wrestler of the month Aryx Quinn is already sexy as hell, but with a dog sleeping on his shoulder as the morning light filters through the window, Aryx is a vision.
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Regular readers know my theory about hot wrestlers and dogs, proven yet again by the view of former homoerotic wrestler of the month Austin Wolf rousing in bed next to you with the pup snuggled in between.
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Naked Kombatant Landon Conrad is devastatingly handsome and built like a comic book superhero, but waking up with the dog under one arm and his bedroom eyes for nobody but you is icing on the cake after that night of fuck-stakes wrestling.
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Yet another homoerotic wrestler of the month and comic book superhero porn star fighter, Marcu Ruhl’s massively muscled sexiness is insanely alluring relaxed in bed and looking over at you as you slowly rouse in the morning.
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Just picture waking up next to BG East rookie Logan Vaughn, still stripped naked like you left him after you conquered that hot ass the night before in the ring.

Introducing in this Corner…

BG East just released catalog 102, and among a whole bevy of beautiful wrestling promised, there’s one news item I have to gush over immediately.

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Logan Vaugh: 5’10”, 185 lbs

Logan Vaughn has made his BG East debut in Hunkbash 15! If you don’t know Logan Vaughn, let me introduce you.  Logan, this is your soon-to-be adoring wrestling fan base.  Neverland readers, this is stunningly gorgeous porn star Logan Vaughn.

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Logan checks the luggage in his BG East debut.

Do you ever shoot the shit with other wrestling fans and talk about non-wrestlers who should be not only wrestling, but wrestling in the homoerotic end of the pool?  I know you do. Me, too.  And I kid you not, about a year ago I had a sidebar with a wrestling fan who knows both wrestling and porn, and I proposed that one hot hunk of porn star beef who would be awesome in the homoerotic wrestling ring would be Logan Vaughn. My conversation partner agreed wholeheartedly. And there it ended.

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Logan was in Jet Set Men’s release “Ultimate Top” from October 2012, available through Can-Am.

And then I pull up catalog 102 and see Logan Vaughn is the new BG East poster boy!  Fuck. Yes. Yes. Yes. Now industry observers will, I’m sure, note that this is not technically Logan’s first foray into the wrestling scene. Technically, a little over a year ago he appeared with Aryx Quinn and a boatload of other pornboys in Jet Set Men’s “Ultimate Top,” a parody of a reality-show wrestling elimination competition. Logan’s performance in that release was what stoked my imagination about his promise, but to be clear, his wrestling work in Ultimate Top is extremely weak and mostly just brief foreplay for him getting fucked in the ring. But those gargantuan, mouthwatering legs of his absolutely blew my mind! Just imagine wrapping those beasts around an opponent’s noggin and milking every last ounce of consciousness out of him!!!

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Lane Hartley gets his hands all over Logan’s mouthwatering body.

Perhaps we don’t need to imagine any longer, because Logan’s BG East debut is a ring match against newcomer pro heel big, beautiful Lane Hartley.  Logan’s thighs don’t look like they were quite as mammothly conditioned as I’ve seen them before, but they’re huge, hairy, and he looks picture perfect in trunks, boots, and the BG East wrestling ring!

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Those massive thighs of Logan’s are a handful for polished pro Lane, but it looks like Lane makes due just fine.

BG East and Logan Vaughn. Two fantastic things that I’ve thought for a long time would be spectacular together.