Tag: Nick Auger

Powerful Luck

wrestlebard2 Comments
I’m happy that my writer’s block seems to have been unblocked lately. My commitment to pick away at the Secretarial Pool auditions regularly until they’re done is paying off. Happily, I’ve just posted he last semi-final match, pitting the unlikely pair of fitness muscle giant Nick Auger against doe-eyed underwear model, mop-headed Ellis McCreadie.
Some of you may remember way, way back when the votes were counted for the Secretarial Pool applicants, that Ellis got a pass into the elite eight without going up for a vote. It seems that the other competitors in the competition didn’t take kindly to such favoritism, and they’ve all been gunning to beat out of Ellis the secret to how he got a direct invitation while everyone else had to face the somewhat humiliating process of vying for popular votes.
Nick makes this job number one as he steps into the rec room with Ellis. Ellis has a string of remarkable, dumb luck behind him, propelling him a breath away from being one of the finalists. Nick is one big, big (big) boy who was overwhelmingly the fan favorite in voting, just as he’s been pretty physically overwhelming in the competition thus far. Dumb luck pitted against overwhelming muscle makes for the story in the new match in my wrestling fiction.


Jared Prudoff can’t wait to see who steps out of the rec room and into the final round with him.

More than Muscle

wrestlebard1 Comment


An upper respiratory infection has sidelined me from some of my work this weekend. I’m noting that it was just this past Thursday that I was feeling beaten and battered by a ridiculously busy workday, and 48 hours later, I’m ill. Working too hard sucks, and it definitely appears to make me susceptible to the crud. So, word to the wise…

Grandma’s advice aside, my sincere intent is to finish the second match in the Secretarial Pool audition tournament in my wrestling fiction, the Producer’s Ring. You should see the new match posted at some point today. This match features first round hopefuls, Nick Auger and Jakub Stefano, battling it out for their shot at power.
Some of you out there have let me know, in no uncertain terms, that you are fierce supporters of Nick. He was clearly the highest vote-getter in the online poll to determine who the eight finalists would be. I’ve been informed that some of you are seriously committed to seeing Nick all the way to the end of this tournament, and that you can see no other option than his ultimate victory over all of his competitors. Of course, if it were that simple, I’d hardly need to write the story, now would I?
On the other hand, Jakub has received absolutely no fan mail or appeals to see him succeed in the competition. While it’s true that he isn’t quite as stunningly dominant a physical specimen as Nick (very, very nuanced shades of gray, if you ask me), I’m honestly surprised that the Czech internet sensation appears to have no one in his corner. Makes me feel a little bad for him.
My sympathies are not the issue at hand, though. This is a match between two big, BIG and powerful boys who’ve been handed the chance of a lifetime. Even if Nick has an edge in power, they’re far too closely matched for the victory to be determined by sheer muscle. Something else will have to tip the scales… cleverness, sadistic zeal, sexual exploitation, focus… something will have to come into play to determine the tale of the tape.
I hope that no one is too disappointed, one way or the other. I just call ’em like I see ’em.

The People Have Spoken

wrestlebard5 Comments

The polling for the competitors in the elimination tournament to determine who will join the ranks of the secretarial pool in Brody Productions turned out surprisingly tight! There were some clear winners and clear losers, with three hot studs right in the middle who battled to the bitter end for the final two spots in the tournament. Let’s start with the losers:

Phil Baroni made a late push in the polls, but fell short of earning a spot in the competition. As I’ve mentioned before, Phil is the stuff of fantasies, though, so I wouldn’t be surprised to find him showing up in some fantasy wrestling of some sort. The Producer’s Ring has given him a pass, though, so he’s a free agent. Someone really ought to write this beautiful boy a wrestling match for the Sidelineland group.
Bryan Thomas actually lost a vote late in polling, which is intriguing. Someone changed a vote or two, which smells of some back alley horse trading. I’m actually little surprised by Bryan’s poor showing. Again, he’s a free agent for anyone to pick up and write up a wrestling match, and personally I’m hoping to see his hairy pecs featured prominently.
Jamie Dominic remains a personal obsession of mine, despite his inability to curry favor with a majority of the voters. If someone else doesn’t get around to it sooner, I expect that he’ll have appear in one of my wrestling fiction fantasies eventually. Seriously… only 4 votes?
Matt Schiermeier never gained any traction throughout the polling. He looks like a beast to me, but he just didn’t seem to grab much attention. I think he’s pissed about his poor showing, and he’s ready to prove something. Someone should pick up this free agent and put that ass to work… in a jock strap, please.
Now for the clear winners: Nick Auger kicked ass in this polling! Not that I’m surprised, but 3 out of 4 voters were certain that Nick must be given a shot at a spot in the secretarial pool. With the sheer size he’s brining with him, he’s bound to be a dominant force in the tournament. The fashion boys in the mix had better bring some dirty tricks with them, because if it comes down to raw power, Nick is going to be breaking boys in half.
Jakub Stefano was spinning his wheels for the first 24 hours of voting, hitch-hiking toward Loserville. Suddenly, though, he made a surge that propelled him from last place to second place. He’s one massive and beautiful man who, like Nick, could be bringing enough muscles to do serious harm on some of the runway boys in the mix. This boy is sporting so many targets of abuse, though: the massive pecs, the half-dollar nipples, the babyface… that ASS!? His best shot at victory may be that his opponents will be paralyzed by too many options to focus their torturing attentions.
One of the runway boys who had staying power throughout polling was Brazilian hunk, Rafael Verga. I’m sure his countryman, Miro Moreira (already a powerhouse in the secretarial pool), was pulling for him. Up against the likes of the muscleboys who’ve secured a place in the tournament, Rafael had better bring his A-game and then some! Someone is likely to be bound and determined to mess up that movie-star face of his.
Sean Sullivan is another musclestud who stayed strong and earned an undisputed spot on the card. I think that Sean may be the only hardbody who can stand muscle for muscle next to Nick. If this turns into a muscle competition, the champion may be determined by a battle between these two meaty morsels.
Alan Ritchson mounted a serious last-minute push to come from way, way behind in voting. I’d pretty much counted him out of the running, but he crossed the finish line with just enough support to secure a spot in the tournament. With screen credits to his name, Alan very well may be an early target for some of the lesser known challengers who are determined to make a name for themselves by felling the 6’2″ chiseled blond.
Ellis McCreadie has also earned himself a major bullseye painted on his ass for his automatic-by into the tournament. With egos to match the size of their massive muscles, a lot of these boys are going to be seriously put out to discover a relative nobody didn’t have to put his reputation on the line to get an invitation to this show. Who, exactly, did Ellis have to fuck to be handed his shot at power? Who, exactly, will be determined to fuck him over in order to put him in his place (i.e., on his stomach with his ass in the air)?
Jared Prudoff had a strong initial showing in the polls until he stalled dead in the water for the final 24 hours of voting. Frankly, I was worried that he wasn’t going to make the final cut. I seriously wanted to see some of these boys get their hands on Jared, and see what the tall-dark-and-handsome fashion boy might be able to pull out of his ass to earn his way beyond the first round.
Kerry Degman also had a strong initial showing that hit a brick wall halfway through voting. I was a little astonished to watch VJ Logan pose a serious threat to Kerry for the final ticket to the tournament. VJ Logan? Seriously? The diversity of tastes and preferences out there truly astounds me sometimes. Since I’m the one who will be devoting several hours of my life sorting through the action between all these boys, I’m glad that Kerry eeked out enough support to get the last spot in the competition. He may have come in last in polling, but I get the sense that he’s got the skills, the speed, and the willingness to go to any lengths to be a serious contender.

So there are your choices for the card of competitors to battle it out for a spot in the secretarial pool. Matches should begin to be posted before the end of the week. Let me know who you think will shine, who you think will stumble, and just how you think 7 out of 8 cocky pretty boys are going to suffer humiliating defeat.

Stunning Salesmanship

wrestlebard2 Comments

I’ve decided that I’m not particularly a fan of the serial wrestling match. Can-Am dribbles out 6 minute segments of some of their upcoming releases, sometimes leaving me frustrated a week or so at a time between clips. When it’s a match featuring the rising stock of 6’1″ beast, Rusty Stevens, the delayed gratification can seem cruel.
Speaking of cruel, though, I’m transfixed by the second movement in this symphony of pain, when Rusty recovers from some initial suffering to put his foot on the gas pedal and treat 5’9″ Aryx Quinn like a defenseless rag doll. Rusty is selling fierce better and better in each match I see him. He’s using the extra pounds of muscle mass he’s been packing on to string together absolutely relentless and impressive power moves, punctuated by some feral growling and snarling. He crushes Aryx in bearhugs that go on for days, keeping the smaller man off his feet convincingly. Rusty slams him repeatedly, spitting out his humiliating banter that assures Aryx that his ass is destined to be owned. But it’s Rusty and Aryx’ selling of repeated over-the-knee backbreakers that truly transports me.

I have always been in awe of the repeated OTK backbreaker, as one man drives his opponent’s back across his thigh, tortures him there for a while, then scoops him up again to start the cycle of devastation over and over again. The size differential between these two boys comes in handy, here, I’m certain. Rusty looks like he’s beating up on some cocky adolescent here, bending Aryx backward with convincing brutality. Rusty’s massive chest is flexed and stunning, and as he throws his battered boy to the ground, his taunting is savage and completely demoralizing.
I have to say, Rusty is mounting a stunning run in my imagination to overcome Mitch Colby as my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy. Depending on how Rusty polishes off Aryx, I think this could spell an upset in the rankings. As Mitch doesn’t have a current release out, he’s left watching this drama unfold, his fate entirely in Rusty’s hands (just like Aryx’ ass).
For those who still want to exercise their right to vote in choosing the boys who will do battle to join the secretarial pool in the fictional wrestling-obsessed world of the Producer’s Ring, I’ll be keeping voting (top margin to the right of this page) open for another day. So far, Nick Auger, Jared Prudoff, Kerry Degman, Rafael Verga, and Sean Sullivan appear to be poised to claim their spots in the upcoming elimination tournament. The remaining two spots look like they’re up for grabs.

You Decide

wrestlebardLeave a comment


The team at Brody Productions is pouring through photos of aspiring executive assistants. You can lend a hand in selecting the elite eight to compete for a shot to join the corporate team in the fictional wrestling-obsessed world of the Producer’s Ring. Ellis McCreadie is already given a pass into the tournament based on nepotism. Deal with it. You can help decide who he’ll be facing for his shot at power:

Phil Baroni was an early nominee, but I have to put my foot down and say that in the world of the Producer’s Ring, Phil is more like his pretty, modelboy self than the MMA jobber stud he’s become in our world. The question you have to ask yourself is whether pre-MMA Phil had the stamina and determination to fight his way to the top in baby oil and a speedo.
Alan Ritchson was also nominated, though he could easily qualify as one of the acting talents who also wrestle in the Producer’s Ring. Still, if you’d like to see Alan tracked into the secretarial pool, vote for him to join the competition here. If he washes out, he still may have a shot on camera, perhaps with his vanquisher calling the shots of his on-screen career.
Sean Sullivan was a beautiful new face to me that was nominated for a shot in the Producer’s Ring. He’s got a fratboy look, which might not bode well for him in competition (just be forewarned), but he very well may bring something surprising to the audition. The curls are made for yanking, which I suppose might earn him some votes and lose him others.
Rafael Verga is one stunningly, classically handsome hunk of man who I’m thrilled to be introduced to through the nominations process. The pec tat is demanding to be licked. In competition, I think that wouldn’t be the only thing requiring oral attention.
Van Jameson Logan was nominated for obvious reasons. Winning America’s Most Smartest Model competition doesn’t bode well for mastering the mind games that are as much part of the competition in the Producer’s Ring as the bodies. Still, it doesn’t necessarily take book smarts to be smart in the Producer’s Ring.
Kerry Degman was another obvious choice for the elimination tournament, due to his credibility as a kick-ass wrestler in high school. Whether or not Kerry could translate amateur success into the down and dirty work required in the Producer’s Ring remains to be seen.
Nick Auger is a fitness model who looks like he’s just aching to prove himself. He’s got the confidence, the muscles, the chiseled chin… but does he have the support of the fans?
Bryan Thomas looks to me like he’s ready, and able, to rip someone’s head off. The tat, the hairy pecs, the rippled abs… can you say no to this man? More importantly, can anyone else fail to say, “I give!” to him?
Don’t let my well-documented obsession with Jamie Dominic sway your vote… let me just say that this man appears regularly in my own private wrestling fantasies, and he’s one fiercely sadistic hellcat.
Jared Prudoff is someone I just haven’t been able to tear my eyes away from since he was pointed out to me. He’s stunning, yet not your standard smooth, plasticized plaything that so many models are. If he makes the cut, I predict he’ll bring something unique into the competition with him.
Matt Schiermeier is another new face to me. Someone was clearly playing to their audience when recommending I check out gorgeously muscled and tattooed Matt. I hope that including two pics of Matt doesn’t skew the poll results, but I just had to share the astonishing view both coming and going, and a shower scene just drives me crazy!
The final applicant under consideration is Czech bombshell Jakub Stefano, who is absolutely everywhere these days. He’s adorable in his YouTube videos, but I have to imagine that the nice guy gloves would come off were he handed the opportunity to join Brody Productions. I predict any match with Jakub would find him enduring some concentrated pec abuse, because, let’s face it, those massive mounds of muscle and mesmerizing nipples are unavoidable targets.

Never let it be said that I’m a tyrant. Let the democratic process commence. (Perhaps I’ll even honor the vote)….