Tag: Ryan Reynolds

wrestlebardLeave a comment
DListed seems seriously pissed at the news that Ryan Reynolds has been selected as this year’s Sexiest Man Alive. He’s at least in my top 10 or 20, so I’m willing to give People a little more slack than DListed is. That said, I completely agree that the photo that they chose for their sexiest coverboy is ridiculously lame, and oddly airbrushed.  This is evidence of being the sexiest man alive?

Now THIS could be evidence for a claim on the title of sexiest man alive:

In my imagination, of course, he came in a very, very close second in a balls out wrestling contest with Chris Evans, who I think is glaringly absent from People’s list. I do, on the other hand, strongly approve of Joe Manganiello (yes, I promise, I’m still pecking away at his debut in the Producer’s Ring).

And Glee’s Matthew Morrison is grabbing me by the balls and holding my attention in the past few days (metaphorically). His People pic, again, looks oddly photoshopped yet hot. I’m not into absolutely every guy’s underarms, but I could definitely be into his.

His Details spread, though, is propelling him quickly into the cue for a wrestling match in my mind.
But who might initiate Matthew into the Producer’s Ring?

O Captain, My Captain

wrestlebardLeave a comment

Pics from the set of Captain America, starring superhero everyman, Chris Evans, are popping up to make us ache. Chris’ body is so stunning that it makes me gasp just a little even when he’s fully clothed.

A cynic (not me) might wonder if there are prosthetics involved in these pics. Clearly, he’s wearing some fake feet, which is just weird. But my vote is that those astonishingly massive shoulders and bulging biceps are all Chris.

A paparazzi pic from a year ago caught Chris in a similar shrink-wrap shirt, and although his shoulders and pecs may not be quite as ponderous, I’m willing to believe that a year of knowing you’re about to portray Captain America in a multi-million dollar film could account for the distance it would take to get from a year ago to the set pics from just a few days ago (which clearly isn’t far, in any case).

Chris and his slapstick-hottie-twin-separated-at-birth, Ryan Reynolds are both eating up superhero parts left and right with pecs so sweet that they deserve to be in a comic book. I can’t help but picture these two as covering so much of the same ground that their paths must cross and they must find themselves pec to pec, wondering if there are enough parts for smart ass funnymen with achingly gorgeous bodies. That idea forced me (forced me, I tell you!) to write a high stakes fictional wrestling match for the two of them. If I absolutely had to pick which one of these two would win a nasty, balls out pit battle, I think the tale of the tape would be extremely close. That’s the way I wrote it, though I did come down with one definite winner in the end. I can’t say that anyone (especially me) really lost out in this wrestling fantasy, though. With both of them continuing to strut their pecs in superhero flicks, I could imagine a rematch could be required at some point.

Novel Ideas

wrestlebardLeave a comment
My last post concerning superheroes and “masculine behaviors” brought to mind for me a reader request. It’s been about a year since a reader of my homoerotic wrestling fiction put out a request for a superhero wrestling story. I’ve taken several starts at this task, and I find it daunting. I put in some serious time in on a superhero angle this spring. I even shopped it around to a collaborator, but I set it aside when I found it still lacking some motivation.
What is there to be done with superheroes that hasn’t already been done and isn’t currently under way? Superheroes are paradigmatically graphic comic based, and that homoerotic angle is handled much more effectively over at Rants Roids n Rasslin than I ever could with primarily text-based fiction. Projecting major heartthrob Hollywood hunks (as populates the Producer’s Ring) with superhero alter-egos seems downright redundant with the steady stream of beautiful men hitting the big and small screens as classic superheroes.
So I’ve been in search of an angle. I’ve been aiming for something along the lines of a Gregory Maquire treatment of a classic fairy tale. Just provoking a reader’s imagination with text, what sort of warped, engaging reality might be crafted that can strike a different angle on superheroes? And in particular, how might a superhero angle in text-form center on wrestling kink, which is really what I’m primarily about?
I think I have some renewed energy and inspiration to dust off the match I’d begun many months ago. It’s certainly a sideline, so I’ll be dropping it into the Sidelineland wrestling fiction group (which is also wanting for some contributions from others). I’m sure there will be some familiar themes that regular readers will recognize from other works of mine, including power and the erotic, high stakes competition, and beautiful men wrestling for fortune and glory. Hopefully there will be something novel as well, and hopefully there’s still an audience interested in my take on superheroes.

Wish me luck. Share your ideas. Keep reading, writing, and imagining.

Value Added: The Ryans

wrestlebardLeave a comment
I’m still a little fixated on facial hair lately, so I’m just thinking through a couple more cases in point:

Tear your eyes away from Ryan Reynolds’ gorgeous pecs and ripped abs with every line of his torso pointing like an arrow to his crotch. I’ll give you a minute…


Okay, now consider the slightly(?) airbrushed face. There may be a little scruff there, but from this distance, we have an essentially clean shaven hunk. Gorgeous facial structure. Great, strong chin. The perpetual Ryan Reynolds smirk. Nothing at all wrong here.
Now let’s examine Mr. Reynolds with a full beard. I know, I know. Having him in shackles, bruised and bleeding, and on his knees totally biases this little comparison. This is directly out of a homoerotic bondage fantasy. Still, try to examine the face again. For the time it takes me to construct a jack-off fantasy, the beard is total value added.
While we’re on Ryans (double entendre intended), let’s consider my other favorite Ryan as of late. Ryan Gosling is extremely fond of the two-day scruff, but here’s a pic of him relatively smooth shaven and absolutely mouth watering with his bulging biceps and shoulders and fantastic pecs stretching the confines of his club boy sleeveless T. If I can manage to stop fantasizing about alternating pain and pleasure applied to those nipples, I say this hunk is worship-worthy as is.

Ryan with a full on beard, and I’m a little light-headed. Kissing a bearded face like this is a major plus in my experience, despite the scratchy/itchy whining I’ve heard from some of my friends. A little pain is nothing but more erotic (as if I need to tell that to this crowd!). Speaking of which, maneuvering this pouty hardbody into a camel clutch, with your fingers laced just underneath that bearded chin, and I swear I’d be cumming across his upper back hands-free. Definite, undeniable, stick a fork in it, value added.

I Need a Hero

wrestlebardLeave a comment
In a world full of politicians who check the polls before they decide whether to take a piss, where people who sell coffee are legally required to give written notice to customers that their hot beverage may be hot, where a televised same-sex kiss in prime-time still merits a parental advisory… I need a hero. I need to imagine that someone out there is courageous, selfless, and duty-bound to use his dominating power in defense of the powerless.
Oh, and this guy really has to be gorgeous with the body of a Greek god. So just to recap, Ryan Reynolds will be starring as Green Lantern in an upcoming production that I will be desperate to see. Ryan Reynolds in a skin tight superhero outfit… that image has been blatantly plagiarized from my erotic imagination. Well, not really, considering Ryan already played an anti-hero in Wolverine.
Ryan plays the smart ass comic so well, I’ll be interested to see if he can pull off the larger than life, inherently melodramatic portrayal of a defender of the universe. In my imagination, of course, he had to win this role by literally beating out both Bradley Cooper and Justin Timberlake at the same time, which he succeeded in doing in a all-naked double choke-out (how else?).
Also previously announced, Australian hot commodity, Chris Hemsworth will be starring soon in the movie adaptation of the Norse god turned comic book hero, Thor. I was seriously doubtful about this casting, but I’m getting more convinced with each new shot of Chris I see. He’s clearly putting on slabs of muscle.


Chris and his brother, Liam, were recently photographed in a fight (well, sort of…), outside a bar in Hollywood. The snarling look on both Hemsworth boys’ faces has inspired me to start thinking about a brothers team tournament in the Producer’s Ring. Indicative of his skyrocketing Hollywood career, Chris has already shown up twice in the Producer’s Ring, both times getting seriously (and satisfyingly) worked over.

The most recent casting announcement to tickle my fantasy is Chris Evans as Captain America. Chris has the body of a gay pornboy, and any movie with him fully clothed is blatant disregard for his true calling. His hairy torso is just about the most sexual thing I’ve seen on the big screen. His body was almost too distracting in his previous foray into superherodom, as Johnny Storm in Fantastic Four.

Like Ryan, I think Chris has an extra burden of toning down his natural comedic skills to play it straight, particularly for Captain America. Of course, he’s already the stuff of my wrestling fantasies, appearing against Ryan in an early match in the Producer’s Ring. In that match, both boys had to battle their inner class clowns to stay focused on hammering the smirk off of each other’s faces. Chris took a particularly savage turn in that bout, surprising even himself with the depths he would plumb to conquer his hardbody opponent.
Reynolds, Hemsworth and Evans are excellent answers to my need for a hero these days. I’m fully supportive of more superheroes in my life. So squeeze into that spandex, pump up the pecs, and take on evil with that cocky self-assurance that, in the end, whether you start the fight or not, you’ll be man enough to finish it.

Jokes and Jocks

wrestlebardLeave a comment


There’s something very sexy about a man who can make you laugh. Those blessed few that combine true comedic gifts with gorgeous looks seem to comprise a fantastic genre in entertainment these days: the funny hunk. Some current favorites of mine in this pantheon of comedy studs include Ryan Reynolds, who just seems to be getting more thickly muscled every day. I have my fingers crossed that his casting in the new Green Lantern movie will include lot’s of skin-tight spandex (which will then be removed). Chris Evans is another funny-man who just seems to ooze sex. When that fantastically hairy torso is bare, it’s hard to actually pay attention to his clever dialogue, but I’m willing to cope with that challenge. And finally, I think Sean Maguire is absolutely stunning. Funny, astonishingly hot, and an English accent?! Good God. I have to agree with SquareHippies‘ assessment that Sean’s is “the face of sex.” Whatever timing, attitude, self-assurance it takes to do comedy well seems to me to translate well to the wrestling ring. The cocky self-possession makes for great characters to battle it out… at least that’s where my imagination takes me. The Producer’s Ring has one hot and sweaty match between Ryan and Chris already, with more comedian hunk appearances on deck.