Bard’s Pilgrim Way – Journey’s End (Part 1)

As many of you anticipated, my pilgrimage to all things BG East in Boston would not have been complete without a visit to the temple mount itself, the center of my homoerotic wrestling universe, the BG East compound outside of Boston. When I made inquiries about the possibility of paying a visit to BG East, the response was generous and welcoming. I was invited to come by and meet “the boys” and see where the genius of BG East is conjured.

Stained glass homage to wrestling over the desk of BG East Boss, Kid Leopard

Pulling into the driveway of BG East central, I was bewildered a bit by the sense that I was seeing it, simultaneously, through two different lenses. I’d never been there before. If I hadn’t known better, I’d never have picked the compound out as anything unusual in the tidy lakeside neighborhood. But at the same time, it was as if I’d been here a thousand times before. Hell, just a couple months ago I was watching muscle punk Kieran Dunne drive up this very same driveway, park his car not 10 feet from where I parked mine, and strut with his characteristic overconfidence inside to face devastatingly pretty Chace LaChance in Jobberpalooza 11. It felt a little like a homecoming to a place I’d never been before.

Keiran Dunne flexes while Chace LaChance is all business in
BG East’s Jobberpalooza 11
Greeting me at the door was the Boss himself, extending a hearty handshake and a welcoming smile as he invited me inside. Again, the experience of double-vision was disorienting. Although I’ve exchanged emails with Kid Leopard, we’d never met in person. But he was so familiar! I knew his tone of voice, his wry sense of humor, and his commanding presence. Just a couple of days earlier, I was enjoying myself watching this man shock hunky Wade Cutler, beating the living shit out of muscle jobber Wade and leaving him soaked in cum in the middle of the ring in Hunkbash 2. And then there he stood, shaking my hand and welcoming me to BG East.

Kid Leopard before his Hunkbash 2 match against Wade Cutler
“So do you want to see the place?” he asked, as if reading my mind. Having come so far, I was desperate to soak in the site of so much homoerotic wrestling inspiration. He took me through to the back of the compound, overlooking the lake… you know, that lake. The lake that Brad Rochelle sunbathed next to after his epic heel turn in Contract 6. That lake in which Troy Baker viciously attacked his big brother, Brian, in search of vengeance for Brian’s betrayal at the end of their humiliating defeat in Tag Team Torture 3.

Troy Baker gets worked over by big brother Brian in BG East Grudge Match 2.
“Over here is the gazebo,” the Boss directed my attention to a shady spot in the woods. It was empty, seeming like a random, anonymous bit of architecture set beneath the towering trees surrounding it. But I couldn’t help but picture the sweat-soaked bodies of so many Gazebo Grapplers struggling underneath that roof: perennial favorite Mitch crushing babyface beauty Alexi, relentless Jonny wringing handsome Sandro’s sweetly suffering body between the railings, the whole bevy of testosterone-fueled hunks wrestling in a ferocious round-robin in Gazebo Grapplers 4.

Kid Leopard showing me the site of Gazebo Grappling fame
And then there was the backyard, lush and green beneath the trees. Yep, that backyard. There were no wrestling mats on the lawn that day, but I swear I could see wrestle stud Denny Cartier locked across ripped rookie Attila Dynasty’s back, applying that nasty abdominal stretch and pounding the ripped muscle stud’s vulnerable core in Backyard Brawls 7. The same backyard where fearless Alexi took on lottery winners TJ Tanner, Christian Taylor, and bubble-butted Sandro back-to-back in Who’s Next?!

Sweat-soaked Alexi in complete control of the backyard in
BG East’s Who’s Next!?
And down a path through the woods, the Boss pointed out the Wrestle Shack. “It’s full of yard equipment at the moment,” he explained, but he’s planning on having the boys clean it out to tape some new matches soon. Images flashed across my vision, of Gil Barrios dragging outmuscled Jerry Connors into the Wrestle Shack to strip naked and finish off the rookie humiliation, and of Lance Jeffers’ mammoth cock bludgeoning Shon Tracey’s awestruck face.

Gil Barrios uses the Wrestle Shack rafters for leverage in punishing rookie
Jerry Connors in Backyard Brawls 7
I’m sure I said it about 3 dozen times that day, but I stumbled over my own words, thanking the Boss profusely for his hospitality. I’d thought about this pilgrimage for weeks, what I’d say, what I’d ask. I’d spent a lot of time preparing. I’d hoped to present myself as cool and savvy, worthy of initiation into the behind the scenes mysteries of an average day at BG East. But my mind was blank except for my lame, awestruck words of gratitude. The Boss briefly indulged my babbling good-naturedly, but when he suggested we continue the tour, I fell silent, and followed him back inside….

Asses Named

There were no grand prize winners for this week’s quiz, but these are some choice asses that you’ll want to know much better, if you don’t already. So pull out your answers and let’s see how you did:

Ass #1 belongs to…
… BG East’s Jordan.
So, it seems that the BG East website confuses “just” Jordan with Jeff Jordan, so even though this exotic dancer only wrestled three times (I hope my slightly inaccurate clue wasn’t misleading yesterday), he has a list of 10 products under his profile. Here, Jordan was unfortunate enough to be tossed into the matroom with one of my favorite classic muscle bullies, Mikey Vee, in Mat Hunks 5. All that  pretty that Jordan brings with him is seriously compromised by the studly buzzsaw that is Mikey. We’ve got Brad Rochelle to thank (so goes the story) for convincing his dancer-rival to settle their rivalry on the BG East mat and in the ring (just one more thing we need to thank Brad for!).
Ass #2 belongs to…
Thunder’s Arena’s (and about to debut with BG East) Devin.
 Devin has the distinct look of someone that I want on my side in a bar fight. He’s got such a huge, solid physique, and that gorgeous ass of his is simply awesome. He’s sold as a competitive MMAer, and this match for Thunder’s pits him against a Russian stunner, Eagle, that Devin reportedly connected with in his MMA travels. Mat Rats 1 is a delight for those who like to watch a tenacious, fast, and confident smaller guy really hold his own (and his opponent’s, for that matter) against a big muscle bruiser. And Eagle has a hot, tight body and a very sexy deep voice, with more of an Ohio accent than a “direct from Russia” one. But it’s Devin’s suffering that works for me above all else here.
Ass #3 belongs to…
…BG East’s Sandro.
Wow. Have I mentioned that already? Wow. The rest of Sandro is pleasing to look at, and he’s fun to watch wrestle, but again I say, that ass is first rate. This posed pic of Sandro from his absolutely most flattering side (behind) comes from his first published match, facing off against CJ Parker in Wrestleshack 11. It looks like CJ spends days trapped with his face shoved into Sandro’s crotch, which I’m sure is all sorts of delight, but how any of Sandro’s opponents manage to do anything other than squeeze that luscious bubble butt of his is beyond me.
Ass #4 belongs to…
Thunder’s Arena’s Iceman.
 Stay Puft has mentioned that Iceman is one his his favorites, and it’s not hard to see why. I’d pay money for a body scissor between Iceman’s golden, massively thick quads. His ass doesn’t fall into the category of “bubble” by any means. Granite more like. And clearly he has balls for days to even play around with the likes of Johnny Bravo in Bodybuilder Battle 5 (is that a future Name That genre? Name Those Balls…).
Ass #5 belongs to…
…everyone’s Rio Garza.
Here, we’re treated to a savage Rio wedgie at the hands of Jobe Zander for BG East’s The Breaking Point: Sexier release. Of course, just a few months later, we saw Rio and Zander going toe-to-toe yet again for Can-Am’s Rocking Rio. Rio has a whole lot of beautiful assets, but his ass has to be at or near the top of the list for me, particularly when he’s in his fitness model condition. Needless to say, a gorgeous side of beef like Rio is never in danger of completely missing the point, as long as he’s taking a nasty beating and suffering like a pretty boy ought to.
So well done to those of you who took a stab at this week’s quiz!

Go-To Guy

If you’re like me (and of course, you are), you occasionally find yourself jonesin’ for a big, round, squeezable ass. I don’t know what I’ve been smokin’ lately, but I’m definitely jonesin’ these days. If you find yourself in a similar place, may I make a recommendation?

His name is Sandro. Just Sandro. Like Cher and Madonna, Sandro needs only one name. I suspect that he realized no one was listening long enough to pay attention to his last name. That stunning ass is just too distracting.
I recently succumbed to the manipulation of advertising and purchased BG East’s Backyard Brawls 6. Sandro’s late night face-off with TJ Tanner is a wonder for anyone on the hunt for a bubble butt. TJ gets it, too, and I sincerely appreciate that about him. He can’t keep his hands off Sandro’s ass from start to finish. Every opportunity he gets, he smacks Sandro’s glutes. When Sandro puts on his game face and repeatedly applies bearhug variations, TJ suffers nicely, but truth be told, I’m screaming at the screen to get the camera angle on Sandro’s sweet ass.
Sandro has a nice coital/wrestling face. He has a beautiful body and a fiercely handsome look. But if it’s a gorgeous, round, muscled bubble butt that you need, Sandro’s got to be on your list.