Have you noticed how in Hollywood movies it’s a moral imperative to believe in the supernatural? I keep hearing the words, “I don’t believe in coincidences” in movies and on television lately. The implication seems to always be that there’s some divine hand moving the universe, lining up otherwise random events into non-coincidental patterns. Well, frankly, I do believe in coincidences. That army of monkeys will, indeed, one day hammer out the complete works of Shakespeare by sheer chance. I’m okay with that. That’s not to suggest, however, that I don’t like musing on a notable coincidence when it falls in my lap.
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Kid Leopard planting a Tree of Woe for Sean Cannon
in BG East’s Superbouts 2 |
Take, for instance, the third time in as many days that the “tree of woe” has come up in three entirely unrelated conversations I’ve been part of. Three different homoerotic wrestling fans raised the topic of how hot the tree of woe scenario is. The only reason I really know much about it, as such, is from a series of comments on
Rants, Roids & Rasslin’ a while back, in which folks were dissecting a panel from one of
RR&R’s wrestling comics. “Tree of woe” is apparently the moniker for that precarious situation when a wrestler discovers himself hanging upside down from the corner turnbuckle, completely vulnerable to a humiliating and devastating attack.
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| BG East’s Brooklyn Bodywrecker exploiting an opponent’s vulnerability. |
It seems to me that there’s more than just a little element of bondage, with the poor catcher’s ankles locked and laced underneath the supports tying the turnbuckle to the ring post. A knee to the gut, a boot to the face… the options appear to be endless. Yes, and hot…
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Rock Hard Wrestling’s Lucas Payne lives up to his name in Austin Cooper’s
Tree of Woe |
The position also offers an opportunity to see a hot muscle boy stretched out and in jeopardy. Hot strong bodies are the best subjects with which to construct a tree of woe, it seems to me. The mechanics probably work best with a strong, compact, relatively limber body. The aesthetics also work best that way, too, I think.
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| Cole Cassidy goes to work on Kevin Lee in BG’s Bad Boys |
Accomplished master in the fine arts of sadistic ring punishment, Cole Cassidy made the most of bewildered Kevin Lee trapped in his tree of woe.
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| Cole uses those gorgeous muscles to crush Kevin’s head and midsection. |
A bearhug and headscissors combination on Kevin illustrates some of the more creative opportunities that a tree of woe offers to an innovative heel.
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| Cole leans in real good, adding every ounce of leverage to crush Kevin’s balls. |
Of course, any tree of woe that fails to include crotch torture is a waste. Cole is never, ever one to waste anything. A long, slow elbow driven crushing into Kevin’s balls softens him up.
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| Cole claws Kevin’s crotch and enjoys watching the agony. |
Cole latching on a ball claw, with his freakishly fantastic forearms bulging like a cartoon superhero is incredibly erotic.
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| Cole’s boots and knees tenderize his suspended opponent. |
And of course some nasty stomps to Kevin’s… well, to Kevin’s everything, shows why a tree of woe is a blank canvas in the hands of a true artist, at least when Cole is working his magic.
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| BG East’s Dante Rosetti (I think) uses his head. |
I’m on the record many times over as completely partial to ring wrestling, and the tree of woe illustrates just one of the many reasons why ring wrestling cranks my kink harder than just about any other context. The opportunities to use the architecture, to capitalize on the structure, to exploit the parts of the ring that stretch as well as those that don’t, all contribute to making ring wrestling my wrestling kink of choice.
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At long, long last, Rio Garza pays it back against Jobe Zander in
Can-Am’s Rio’s Revenge |
So I completely believe that three different people raising the topic of the tree of woe in as many days is 100% coincidence. I’m sure it’s randomness, and I don’t feel the need to read into the coincidence some guiding, invisible hand that wants me to appreciate deeper the erotic potential of corner abuse. That doesn’t mean, however, that I don’t enjoy riding the tide and getting a kinked kick out of where it takes me.
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| Rock Hard Wrestling’s Trent Novak treats Austin Cooper to a Tree of Woe beatdown |
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Sidelineland 
THANK YOU!!! And….there ARE NO COINCIDENCES!
As "SECOND" of the "THREE" who'd help to create the "coincidence", I am VERY grateful to you for having posted these SPLENDID "TREE OF WOE" pics. I feel no "WOE"…though. What I DO feel, is a pleasant stirring within my NADS, which then leads to a big smile upon my face. THANK YOU, Bard! You're SO right! Synchronicity LIVES…and it serves a VITAL purpose; TO SPREAD THE JOY!