Month: February 2012

Begging the Question

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I’ve fielded several emails in the past three days about BG East’s brand new releases in Catalog 91. Damnation! So far, everyone seems to agree that this is an astonishingly hot batch of mouthwatering wrestling potential! To be blunt, there are typically at least a couple products in any given BG East catalog that leave me lukewarm. It’s not an indictment of BGE, but just a nod to the fact that BGE caters to a relatively broad swath of tastes and kinks. However, this catalog is not at all typical. In trying to decide what I can live without, I’m hard pressed to vote any of these DVDs off the island. And it’s not just that there’s maybe one match on a DVD that seems like it’s a must-see while the others are negligible. It’s pretty much every single match!  All but one DVD has at least one former or current homoerotic wrestler of the month or overall favorite wrestler title holder. Pros in Private 9 is the only product without a former or current favorite, however the shots of a Charlie Panther are blowing my mind (did that drill sergeant personal trainer Gino Liotta get a hold of Charlie’s workout routine!?). And the image of Mac Matthias’ butt keeps intruding into my thoughts over the course of my days (in a really, really great way).  So DVD after DVD, this catalog is one long, gorgeous, titillating parade of hot, hunky, hung homoerotic wrestlers!

Kid Karisma continues to perfect the art of using the ropes
to punish his opponents.

Joe has waxed nothing short of eloquent and, dare I say, almost giddy about Austin Cooper’s Wrestler Spotlight DVD and, in particular, the ring bout between Austin and Kid Karisma. I tend to think of Joe as more measured in his praise than I often am. I tend to fall into passionate love (okay, lust) with matches relatively easily, whereas I credit Joe with a more intentional approach to doling out praise in precise proportion to a match’s merits. So reading his unrestrained infatuation with Austin and Kid K’s confrontation makes me think: hot damn, I’ve got to see that!

Two epic asses should make for one extremely hot match!

Joe and I are clearly not the only ones drawn to the whole BG East catalog this go round, nor are we alone in zeroing in on the match between Austin and Kid Karisma. Three separate readers have mentioned to me that they already have orders placed for Austin’s Wrestler Spotlight with his Kid K match at front and center of their attention and anticipation. And 2 of those readers have asked me whether it’s possible that Austin could be the bitter loser who defied Kid Karisma’s charm and walked away seriously put out and resentful of getting owned by the karismatic one.

A heaping dose of the full Kid K treatment

In my interview with him last month, Kid Karisma described one particular, as yet unreleased match where his opponent walked away nursing a persistent grudge against BG East’s irrepressible partyboy.  “Well, there is one guy,” Kid K explained, “but the match hasn’t been released. It was easily the most intense match I have ever done. He hated my guts, and he hated the fact that I was much stronger and boisterous.” Rather than shaking hands and jumping onto the Kid K party train once all the dust was settled (as apparently happens with most of the lucky, lucky boys who face Kid K), a certain unnamed wrestler just walked away pissed. So the same thought occurred to me even before 2 readers separately asked me the question: is Austin Cooper said sore loser?

Austin is humiliatingly ass-upward as Kid K leans back and takes a breather

I know nothing more about it than you do, if you read the interview, so I decided to go straight to the source. Putting the question to Kid Karisma directly, I asked him this morning if Austin Cooper was the bitter nelly whose pride couldn’t cope with getting the full Kid K treatment.  He replied unambiguously, “No Austin is def not it! He’s pretty amazing, and I had a great time with him in the ring as well as out partying!!!”

Austin makes his presence felt from behind Kid Karisma
Happily, I’m just letting the image of these two asstastic body-beautifuls hitting the dance floor linger for a while. Just for aesthetics, I’m throwing into the picture Jake Jenkins, so that there’d be a devastatingly beautiful brunette to round out the hunky blond and ripped red-head trifecta. Before my imagination runs away with me entirely, let me just note that I strongly suspect that every Kid Karisma new release will be accompanied by speculation as to whether each new opponent might be the sore loser in question. Until Kid K spills the beans, we’ll just be left with the awesome delights of seeing him work his magic against the likes of sweaty muscle hunks like Austin Cooper. That will certainly tide me over in the mean time!

Kid K looks leathered up and ready to party down

Serendipity

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Eli Black is bulging in all the right places.

Serendipity: : the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for (according to Miriam-Webster). For example, what delightful serendipity, having just selected lean mean wrestling machine Eli Black as homoerotic wrestler of the month and then to find him the new coverboy for BG East’s new catalog 91!

It’s not that I expected or had even hoped to see the stunning likes of Eli on the pages of BG East at all, much less as the ripped to shreds model for the cover of the BGE website. It was just delightful serendipity.

I have not yet seen the brand spanking new release of Gutbash 9, but I’m hoping to soon. The promise of hairy side of beef Morgan Cruise and marble sculpted Eli taking it to one another’s abs with a vengeance is an arousing proposition, to say the least!

I can’t always tell from the photos or the match description who gives better than he takes, but it certainly looks like Morgan pushes his weight around and gives Eli a ferocious welcome to the ranks of BG East that he won’t soon forget. As I raved not two days ago, Eli is hot as hell, and for BG East it certainly looks like he’s even more ripped and beaten raw than I’ve seen him yet.

Morgan is looking every bit as tasty as in his debut wrecking at the hands of my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy) Lon Dumont. I’m thinking that Morgan was taking notes when Lon dished out the exquisitely gorgeous and hard lessons of what it takes to be a serious BG East  heel, because he looks like he pulls out all the stops all over Eli’s beautiful body. There’s some sadistic, cheating, vile and merciless punishment captured in the preview pics for this match, and 95% of it appears to be heaped all over Eli’s tortured body. Just like Lon explained, tying your opponent up helplessly in the ropes opens up the door for all sorts of beautiful battering! I swear I can put my hand up to the screen and feel the heat rising off of those beaten beet red abs of Eli’s.

Whoever picked Eli’s gear gets a major shout out from me, as well. His RHW gear has not been entirely complimentary, but this sparse fabric with a bit “POW” plastered across his ass is simply gorgeous! His ass in the air, in a rear mount working on sleepering Morgan out cold is making me want to go back and crown him as homoerotic wrestler of the month twice this month! Since Gutbash 8 technically hit the airwaves in February, I can guarantee that Eli is a serious threat to be the first ever back-to-back winner of two homoerotic wrestler of the month titles!

And I’m just saying, I never got quite the same impression of Eli’s package that these stills from Gutbash 9 clearly give. This is nothing short of beautiful art, my friends. I’m seriously smitten!

Shane’s Big Break continues

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A little over a year ago, reader and contributor Bearhugs sent me a challenge. He started writing a fictional piece about professional wrestling. It starred a couple of high school buddies a few years out of high school. The “main” character is Shane. After learning that it’s all downhill after being the star quarterback in high school, he’s back in town. He’s not exactly long on brains, but he’s got balls to spare.  When he sees his old high school chum Neil at the gym, he hits him up for a little career starter.
Shane thinks he’s ready for action.
Seems that Neil had made quite a name for himself in the local professional wrestling operation since graduation. He’d always been on the wrestling team in school, but he’d committed himself like a maniac to making the transition to the pros. He’s a massive muscle beast. He’s sculpted and smart. And he’s an occasional headliner on the local card. Unfortunately for Neil, he’s a headliner as the local face-chump who’s endlessly featured in one storyline after another in which nasty heels use all their dirty tricks to overcome his physical superiority and humiliate him for the rubes in the seats. Shane has seen Neil on the local TV broadcast of the wrestling show, getting his big, muscle ass kicked back and forth across the ring. It doesn’t look so tough to Shane. Maybe his old high school buddy will pull some strings for him to get him a shot in the ring? Who knows, with Shane’s past as the local hero star quarterback, maybe he could generate a little income for himself to live on.
Neil’s got brains, brawn, and tons of ambition
Little did Shane know that Neil was about 3 steps ahead of him. He arranges to introduce Shane to the wrestling audience the next weekly broadcast. They plan a friendly romp, with big Neil showing Shane the ropes and giving him the welcome that a rookie deserves. But Neil’s got much, much bigger plans in store for Shane. He beats the living shit of his “old buddy.” Neil uses the opportunity to make a monumental heel turn, absolutely crushing Shane brutally as the crowds in the stands turn on the big bully.
Mikey: Shane’s Savior?
That’s where Bearhugs handed the bit over to me. It was a challenge I just couldn’t resist. I wrote “part 2” of Shane’s Big Break, in which Neil introduces Shane to the after-party, where High Rollers with deep pockets get their own show after the masses have left the building. What happens when the High Rollers start laying down cash is completely up to them. Neil’s heel turn has ignited their imaginations, and they pay good money to see Shane fucked up, both figuratively and literally, in a made-to-order, full contact, full frontal assault.  I’d intended the story to stop there, but the characters sort of stayed with me, and before I knew it, there was a part 3 of Shane’s Big Break, in which he decides the allure of a paycheck is worth the risk of a repeat of his nasty humiliations the week before. He shows up for a second week and faces off with savvy lightweight hottie and former champion, Mikey. As per arrangement, Shane cements himself as the sympathetic, heroic fan favorite by besting Mikey. However, Neil interrupts his celebration, charging the ring and laying a beat down on the both of them. 
Just a couple days ago, I posted part 4 of Shane’s Big Break, in which the High Rollers put in an order for a heaping helping of all three studs. Shane is terrified that he’s about to get fucked raw again, but Mikey, the savvy veteran, may be Shane’s saving grace. It’s all up to the High Rollers, of course, but between the force of will of big, muscle freak Neil and lean, mean lightweight Mikey, who would you prefer to see climb on top and pound out some back room homoerotic domination?
These and many more stories penned by me and others can be found at the Sidelineland group site. I’m always pleading for more of the hundreds of group members to submit a little of their own original work, so get off your asses and send me some hot wrestling fantasy fresh from your kinked imagination!

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

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I owe Rex Braddock a favor, because my travel schedule this month completely distracted me from celebrating Rex as homoerotic wrestler of the month like he deserved. The calendar has dictated that it’s time for a new wrestler of the month, however, and I’m ready to get down to business. The big splash in January over at Thunder’s Arena was the arrival of Impact, who just might be able to steal Big Sexy’s name. Matched up against his purported brother, “the All American Kid” Tak, and then against former homoerotic wrestler of the month Z-Man, Impact is looking awfully stunning, especially when he tugs down the front of his trunks provocatively. Neither Can-Am nor BG East posted any January new releases, as far as I can tell.  I’m bending the rules a bit to include three matches from Rock Hard Wrestling, because I failed to include the December 29 release of tasty Travis Storm getting worked on by lean, mean muscle machine Tyler Reeves. Since then, Rock Hard also released jock fantasyman Trent Novak going pec to pec with aspiring male model, Blue Steel Cliff Johnson, as well Eli Black following up his own Rock Hard debut with a muscle bashing demonstration of iron fist diplomacy against the Russian Dream, Alexi Ivanov.
While this is a relatively narrow field compared with some other months, I’m happy to report that the bench is satisfyingly deep. Absolutely any of the above mentioned boys would be welcome to work up a lather of sweat on top of me any day (or underneath, your call). This line up features major league beauty, personality, and salesmanship, but if I’ve got to take home only one of these wrestlers, my decision is pretty damn clear…

Give me Eli Black!

A certain someone who owes me a favor (and I am keeping track!) pointed out to me that during my December Reader’s Choice poll, in which I asked readers to select the current rookie with the brightest potential for a hot homoerotic wrestling future, I made a major oversight in not including young Eli on the ballot. At that point, the only match we’d seen Eli in was in his stunning barnburner debut, matched surprisingly well against another former homoerotic wrestler of the month, Jake Jenkins. It was the sort of rookie debut that leaves me muttering at the screen, “Where’s this kid been wrestling!?” There’s no way in hell Eli Black stepped foot into the ring with hunky Jake as a literal rookie. It’s absolutely, 100% impossible, because despite eventually succumbing repeatedly to Jake’s spine snapping backbreakers, Eli has smooth skills and a hot, aggressive presence in the ring that true rookies are hard pressed to pull off.

The match that makes me anoint Eli reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month is January’s hot, hot, HOT feature in which Eli says “Pryvet” and “Dasvidania” to the baby Drago import named Alexi (aren’t they all?) Ivanov.  Alexi is a post-iron curtain version of Drago, though. The Russian grins like the Cheshire cat when Eli starts things off with a smirk. “Let’s put those Russian muscles to the test then, newboy.”

Eli unleashes an All American can of whoop ass on the tanned, toned Russian Dream. After 5 minutes of failing to launch a shred of offense, Alexi has got to seriously be reconsidering his designs on conquering America. Eli works the big boy like pumping the pedals of a player piano. He maintains the pressure and the pace like he’s been swatting down Russian muscle boys for decades. Slams and suplexes, leg drops, elbow drops, and splashes off the rope… and speaking of ropes, Eli plants his boot right in the Russian’s luscious ass and uses the top rope to add that much more leverage on a shoulder-snapping standing surfboard that displays Alexi’s gorgeous, ripped body to perfection. Either Eli’s got some extensive wrestling background to explain this exquisite workmanship, or he’s nothing short of a child prodigy!

For my tastes, what transforms an arousing wrestling match into a homoerotic wrestling gem is the storytelling. Sliced beef Eli slams down the cocky banter every bit as satisfyingly as he slams down the big Russian stud. Hopping up from yet another splash down on Alexi, Eli takes a quick lap around his opponent with his hands on his hips to catch his breath. “Ah man! The only reason I’m getting tired right now is because I’m whooping your ass! Where’s the fight!? Come on, Russian boy!!!”  When Alexi’s long, strong body is twisted in an agonizing bow and arrow, Eli growls, “Yeah, all your muscles and there ain’t nothing special about you, man!”  “Lucky your girlfriend’s not here,” Eli taunts him, “you’d be ashamed to have her see this!”

Alexi eventually makes Eli pay up just a bit. All that hard, lean conditioning of Eli’s comes in handy as he takes some pounding and manhandling from the Russian Dream. It’s relatively short-lived, however, as Eli demonstrates that speed and cunning can be an awesome antidote to a 30 pound weight advantage and a nearly half a foot height advantage.  Eli covers every inch of the ring, taking his outmatched bigger opponent from corner to corner to corner to corner.

And it’s most certainly not as if Alexi is “the muscles” in this match. Eli drags Alexi’s sorry, sweet ass up off the mat over and over, muscling him around, scooping him up and slamming him down like a machine. Eli may not sport the biggest muscles in the business, but he’s all solid muscle from head to toe, and he deploys them with an awesomely arousing awareness of all the uses a hot, hard body like his can be put to.

In action, it’s Eli’s relentless aggression and his pounding, juggernaut pacing that tweaks my kink and makes him a favorite. In still frame, it’s Eli’s hot, hot athletic ass (I love it when he wipes his sweaty palms on his butt), and his eyebrows that send me into homoerotic fantasyland. Eyebrows!? Yes, eyebrows. When he’s ripping the Russian apart in a muscle feast bow and arrow, Eli’s eyebrows arch in concentrated fury. He looks like every evil genius from classic spy dramas, but this evil genius is a ripped, hard, gorgeous young homoerotic wrestling prodigy who makes me more than pleased to crown him my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month!

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month – Eli Black