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Name That Cock

wrestlebard8 Comments
Regular readers will recognize that I’m typically relatively coy when it comes to the photos I post. I mean, if you count a whole lot of naked asses in the category of coy, then that and everything else would  count as coy in contrast to my typical text. In honor of the first warm day this year, and like the Easter Bunny himself coming out to play only infrequently, I’m taking this week’s quiz in a new direction. Based on the scant evidence of the close-up pics below, see if you can name the homoerotic wrestlers to whom these very fine cocks belong. Don’t want to peruse hot cocks? You may be excused from today’s quiz now (before you scroll down any further), but I promise you that we’ll be snickering at you as you walk out the door. The field of full-on naked wrestling is quite a bit narrower than any other “Name That” genre we’ve covered. So I’m suspecting that those of you who like a bit of cock on display in your wrestling fare may have an easier time with this quiz. I don’t know your definition of porn, but as for me, if I see a guy cum on camera, I’ll elevate him to my much admired status as a pornboy. So with that in mind, I believe all of the wrestlers pictured below belong to the most elite ranks of homoerotic wrestling pornboys.
The fine print: Name a wrestler whose cock is pictured, and I’ll praise you glowingly. Name all five wrestlers whose cocks are pictured, and you get a gold star. Name all five wrestlers whose cocks are pictured as well as their opponents in these pics, and, if you’d like, I’ll send you a pic of one of my personal tats, of which I’m very proud (no, my cock has no ink). Use the comments below or drop me an email to let me know how you did. I’ll post the answers tomorrow.  Good luck, and happy hunting!
Cock #1:

Ah, I’m a big, big fan of this cock and the gorgeous, hairy hardbody of which it is a perfectly proportioned piece. I follow this wrestlers tweets with great delight, and if I ever had an opportunity to go on a date with him, we’d sit down over a delicious dinner and discuss Michel Foucault and Jacques Derrida before heading back to his place for an energetic wrestling match culminating in multiple orgasms and messy, though fastidiously safe, sex. He’s been a feature of one quiz already, and I have previously described his “gorgeous tool at full staff” in reference to this very wrestling match. In other words, unless you’re new around here, I think you should know this one without any further hints.

Cock #2:

 This beautiful cock belongs to a wrestler I’ve mentioned only twice before on this blog, but he’s a go-to classic homoerotic wrestling pornboy for my tastes. He was 5’8″ and 170 pounds when he wrestled in 6 entertaining matches, 5 of which featured his trunks around his ankles and his cock taking an enthusiastic pounding, usually from his own hand. In this match, he faced an incredibly aptly named opponent whose own cock was also front and center in the action before all was said and done. With furry, incredibly hot pecs and just a slight self-consciousness that made me feel like I was right there in the room with him making him nervous, he’s got a place almost as high in my affections as his “cousin” who also wrestled, but wasn’t sporting quite the tool that this hunk had. Still, it’s not about how big it is… well, it’s not ONLY about how big it is…

Cock #3:
Speaking of big, this uncut marvel of the modern world should also pose little-to-no problem for regular readers. He’s listed at 5’9″ and 160 pounds, but I suspect with some recent muscle, he’s put on a little more weight than that. I’ve talked about this cock repeatedly, even if this is the first time I’ve posted a pic. He’s also been a feature in a previous “Name That” quiz. He’s wrestled in at least 18 matches, I believe, and despite not being of one of the typical body types I gravitate toward mindlessly, he’s earned his way into more than one “favorite” ranking in the past. With his extensive resume, I suspect the main challenge may be identifying his opponent here, to which I will only offer the clue that I’d buy his opponent a hamburger if I could (even though I’m vegetarian). That not enough for ya? Well this is where the quiz gets tougher, so you get no more from me.
Cock #4:

Okay, this probably belongs earlier in the quiz, because you can see most of this homoerotic wrestler’s opponent’s face, hovering ominously open with his chin resting on the hunk’s testicles. Classic doesn’t quite cover the hardbodied homoerotic wrestler to whom this oiled up cock belongs. Prototypical? Pioneering? I always forget this wrestler had a first name, because like so many iconic entertainers, it really only takes his last name to be clear who we’re talking about (though an entirely correct answer here will require both names!). He reportedly wrestled at 204 pounds of sliced to the joint muscle on his 6’0 frame in around 15 matches (give or take), and was said to also have worked behind he camera as well on many more. I’d tell you more, but this wouldn’t be so much of a quiz, then, would it?

Cock #5:

Simply beautiful. I’ve spilt a lot of virtual ink on this homoerotic wrestler and his cock… and his ass… and his ink… Interestingly, I don’t hear from a lot of others equally as enthusiastic as I am about him, which I find perplexing. Still, considering my oppositional-defiant personality disorder, being on my own in my infatuations is oddly reinforcing. Reportedly 6’0″ and 185 pounds, he was way too much for his opponents to handle in the match pictured here. He’s also a prior “Name That” feature, and he’s a multiple title holder, and the difficulty parameter on this question is supposed to be the highest, so that’s all you’ll get by way of clues from me.

So good luck. Study those cocks long and hard. Take your time. Enjoy the intellectual stimulation of the quiz. And do let me know what you come up with.

I’ll Buy That

wrestlebardLeave a comment
Combat is erotic. You and I know this, of course. You read this blog because you know it. Something in my ongoing ramblings speaks to you because I hardly need to convince you that hot men engaged in body-to-body physical competition to dominate one another is inherently erotic and, specifically, homoerotic. Hello, Choir. I’m preaching to you.

However, I’m convinced that this is not simply a quiet little fetish that you and I and a few thousand of our closest, anonymous internet friends embrace. My primary evidence for this theory of the mainstream homoeroticism of combat? The mainstream male model.

Sure, whatever. Roll your eyes if you must. But the male model squeezed into underwear to sell the name on a label is big business because the market is much, much broader that you and me. So when we see these aforementioned male models posed in explicitly fight and wrestling scenarios, I argue that this is evidence that combat between sweaty, muscled, gorgeous men is explicitly homoerotic. This is about sex. They don’t pick these guys because they appeal to anyone’s intellect, my friends (of course, they might be intellectually stimulating, but most of us would never know).

This latest batch of pics of models-as-wrestlers/fighters comes from my grazing in the fields of Homotrophy. The only model identified by name there is this jaw dropping specimen barely fitting into that white wrestling singlet, whose name is Harijs Broza.

Wrestling… sex… a little bondage thrown in with that singlet strap provocatively wrapped around Harijs’ wrist. This isn’t my imagination. This is evidence of Timoteo spending a whole lot of cash to sell some gear, and while I suspect that the gays may comprise a large portion of the Timoteo clientele, this is hardly marketed just for the wrestling fetishists among us.

I’ve mentioned it before, and I’m sure I’ll continue to report that a whole lot of the backchannel communications I receive from this blog are from fine gay men who say to me, “I never knew there were others who felt like I do!” There are, my friends, and not just those of us who go on the record as unabashed fans of homoerotic wrestling.
Keep it coming, boys.

Name That Ass

wrestlebard1 Comment
Topher has been earning excellent marks lately in these weekly quizzes. I find myself struggling to pitch each new challenge just right, hard enough to make Topher work for it, but not so hard that others will be discouraged. As I wrestle with how to deal with Topher blowing the curve, here’s the newest edition of Name That Ass. You know the concept. Scare evidence and a couple of hints… tell me whose gorgeous glutes these are. This week I’ve added the novelty of making it a theme set. These are all prime beef rookie asses, if you buy my working definition of a rookie as being a wrestler who’s appeared in no more than 3 matches. Name the opponents that these boys face for extra credit. Feel free to post answers and work together on this open book challenge. As always, have fun!
Ass #1:
This one should be easy for anyone who reads this blog with any regularity. I have this rookie’s next match (it would be #4) lined up in the fantasy world in which I schedule who wrestles whom. He’s too damn pretty to stand, which means that I will likely forever yearn to see him job or, potentially, he could develop into a major league narcissist heel (which he starts to tap into in the match from which this pic comes). I love that with all that ridiculous prettiness, he sports a hairy ass. 5’8″, 155 pounds of shredded beef, eyelashes of a runway model, and if those eyebrows come that way without aggressive plucking, I’m a monkey’s uncle.
Ass #2: 
I haven’t talked about this rookie or his ass on my blog, but Joe has. I have it on my to-do list to watch one of this boy’s 2 matches currently for sale. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him show up in a Name That Tat quiz someday. 5’9″, 185 pounds, sinister looking goatee, but with a smile that can be described as nothing short of adorable. In this match, he’s facing a veteran with an unbelievably long wrestling resume. Good luck, rookie!
Ass #3:
This is another rookie ass that I haven’t yet mentioned on my blog, despite this homoerotic wrestler definitely grabbing my attention in his one released match to date. However, he has appeared in one post, unnamed but linked and credited (which I try to do every chance I can). He’s listed at 5’10” and 210 pounds of beautiful muscle. I’m a fan of any homoerotic wrestling rookie who shows up in his debut bare-assed and cock in hand, so I’m, indeed a fan of this rookie and his incredibly sexy, round ass.

 Ass #4:
Now I suspect things may be getting tougher for you. Unlike ass #3, there’s nothing “round” about this homoerotic wrestling rookie’s ass. It’s angular and hard as a rock, built for function more than form, which frankly, makes its form that much sexier to me. He’s billed at 6’0 and 155 pounds, but still he does not qualify for an eating disorder intervention in my book (at least not from where I’m sitting). He puts every ounce (and inch) to perfect use in his one and only published match to date, and he could very well also turn up in a future Name That Tat quiz. 
Ass #5:
I’m intending this ass to be the hardest to nail down, so to speak. As far as I know, he’s appeared in exactly one homoerotic wrestling match (if someone knows of more, you must tell me where to find them!). I’ve only seen previews for his one and only match (it’s on my to-own list, eventually), but from what I’ve seen, I would never, ever, ever have guessed that this wrestler is 6’2″ and 200 pounds. Writhing on the mat and totally getting owned from start to finish by a classic heel makes this sweet- assed rookie look downright diminutive.
So don’t be shy. Send me your answers by email or comment below. 5 correct answers gets you moved to the head of the class. 5 correct answers plus the names of their opponents will earn you a custom written piece of homoerotic wrestling fiction.

Name That Tat

wrestlebard8 Comments
We’re returning to the subject of tats for this week’s quiz. I love some beautiful ink on a hot, hard body, especially a body engaged in homoerotic wrestling. I realize that not everyone is as motivated by tattoos as I am, which is just further proof that there are different strokes for different folks. I’m sure part of my delight in aesthetically choice ink is that I’m awfully proud of my own tats. So for the aficionado of homoerotic wrestling tats who can be the first to identify the inked homoerotic wrestlers below, along with their opponents in each pic, I’ll be happy to send you a pic of one of my own tats. The deadline for this open-book quiz is tomorrow afternoon. Feel free to post your answers/guesses in the comments below, or drop me an email. In increasing order of difficulty, the tats to name are…
Tat #1:
If you can’t name this tat, welcome to my blog! You must be brand new around here, because this ink is so distinctive and the wrestler has been at the top of my list of homoerotic wrestlers to talk about lately. I’m jealous of the lucky, lucky artist who was given the opportunity to ink this wraparound, multi-colored dragon stretching around this big, stunning hunk’s left thigh, up his ass and hip, and across his lower back. Now that’s commitment that turns me on! And speaking of turning me on, the cocky, sneering grin on his classically handsome face as he crushes still another completely outmatched opponent (this opponent in this pic is way, way, way outmatched) is profoundly arousing. 5’11. 240 pounds. If you have no idea who tat #1 belongs to, I suggest you may want to take a make up quiz after a month of intensive study of contemporary homoerotic wrestlers. Trust me. You’ll thank me.
Tat #2:

I think this ink may be a little tougher to identify for novices, but the match from which it comes has been frequently mentioned on this blog. Look at those thick, veiny pecs! Sweet. Also sweet is the fantastic chemistry between this homoerotic wrestler and his opponent in this match. Every hold is simply a tool for lustful exploration and adoration of their bodies. This big, muscle stud homoerotic wrestler is pictured here in control of his opponent who was both a former “Name That Ass” answer as well as a pervious homoerotic wrestler of the month. I can’t put my finger on his height/weight stats, but he’s big and beautiful.

Returning to the theme of “commitment” exemplified by body art, this portrait of Jesus being crucified, inked across the rib cage of a homoerotic wrestler is full of delightful contradictions and irony. A believer this devout who pops up repeatedly in wrestling matches marketed (let’s face it) primarily to the gay wrestling kinkster just makes me smile. And then there’s the iconic image of abject suffering sketched across the hot body of a rookie who, let’s face it, suffers a whole lot in one humiliating wrestling match after another. Well, to be honest, he’s been in one published product, in sort of a daisy chain of wrestling scenarios, roughly sketched out as two “matches.” In the pay-site, you can just recently also find him getting a wrestling tutorial from another awesomely tatted wrestler who was a former “Name That Tat” answer. And for that matter, the muscle opponent crushing this homoerotic wrestler in the pic above was also a “Name That Tat” answer. The crucifix stud above is 5’8″, 170 pounds, with a frat boy face that turns me on when it’s twisted in agony.

I was introduced to this tatted homoerotic wrestler when I was invited to write copy for the website describing one of his recent releases. It’s his legs that blow my mind and turn me on the most. They’re thick and clearly incredibly strong, and when he scissors his opponents’ bodies between them, I believe every scream of desperate pain that they elicit. He looks like a classic Italian statue, I think. Listed at 5’8″, 178 pounds, in this pic he faces an opponent that I’ve mentioned no fewer than 28 times on this blog (and many, many more to come, I suspect).
Tat #5:
I’ve mentioned before that I sometimes have a craving for freckled, red-headed homoerotic wrestling muscle stud. In those moments, this is one of my go-to homoerotic wrestler boys to scratch my itch. I’ve admired this beefy babyface many, many times, and I have to admit, I somehow never noticed this provocative tat between his shoulder blades until very recently. It looks like a superhero symbol, in which case, this homoerotic wrestler’s moniker should probably be Captain Beat-Me-Senseless. And speaking of superheroes, he’s appeared as superhero “Crush,” and superhero “Blue Wing.” This is intended to be advanced quiz material, so that’s all I’ll give you for this hunk with a peaches-n-cream complexion.
Good luck. You may begin.

Back Again

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It should come as no surprise that I’m a fan of a beautiful ass. Even more than just ass, though, I love a strong ass that’s the foundation for a hard, muscled, expansive back. Huge wide shoulders, lats draped like living room curtains, corded lower back outlining the spine, and a narrow waist make sense out of a strong ass.
The art of the male body from behind attracts me not just because it arouses (though it does). Certainly, seeing a gorgeous back pointing like an arrow to a deeply creviced ass crack inevitably brings to mind the opening sequence between Stuart and Nathan in the BBC Queer as Folk. But it’s not just about the fuck. Honestly, a beautiful back inspires awe in me. This is just beautiful.

In addition to Stuart and Nathan from Queer as Folk, a strong back also inevitably calls to mind all the back punishment delights that could be unleashed. Less toned backs would fold and wither far too fast, but a thickly muscled back inspires images of hours of endured homoerotic assault.

Vulnerability. Power. Grace. Strength.

Simply beautiful.

Name That Ass

wrestlebard4 Comments
You know the set up. Based on scant evidence, see if you can identify the homoerotic wrestlers to whom  these fine glutes belong. Never played before? You might want to take some practice quizzes first, just to bone up on wrestling asses. As always, I’ll post the answers tomorrow. The first person to identify all five wrestlers below before the answers are posted, in addition to the opponents in the matches pictured, will not only get bragging rights as teacher’s pet, but I’ll also write you a custom, made-to-order fictional homoerotic wrestling match. Today’s quiz is a theme set, comprised entirely of “classics,” iconic homoerotic wrestlers. This is an open-book quiz, so feel free to consult your notes. Let me know how you do by dropping your answers in the comments below or by sending me an email. Good luck!
Ass #1:
I’ve been hard on this homoerotic wrestling ass… so to speak. However, this wrestler is undeniably prolific, and indisputably gorgeous, and like it or not, he is, at the very least, a fixture, if not an icon, in homoerotic wrestling. 5’10”, 170 pounds, smooth, lickable skin… he’s appropriately very proud of his granite carved abs, which he enjoys dusting off dismissively after squeezing out a submission from his opponent. If it weren’t for that cheesy smirk that creeps across his face far too often, I’d be a bigger fan. But I’m liking his most recent work, and hoping that his quality of wrestling starts to elevate to the quantity of this wrestling. I figure even novices know this ass, but identifying his opponent will be the challenge for intermediate students of homoerotic wrestling asses.
Ass #2:
These gorgeous round cheeks have haunted my dreams. Really, I’ve had dreams starring this classic homoerotic wrestler, and they’ve been fantastically memorable.  He’s listed at 5’6″ and 165 pounds of aesthetically perfect muscle, but his proportions make him look a half foot taller than that, in my opinion. In addition to qualifying in my book as a muscle god, he was also a muscle jobber with a lot of personality. He always sold me convincingly the story of a cocky stud used to getting his way on looks and strength, astonished to discover himself on the bad end of a humiliating beating. He was wrestling an opponent here who was in his debut match (the opponent only tallied three matches in all). What a lucky, lucky boy to be initiated into homoerotic wrestling with this hunk’s cock crushed against your face!

Ass #3:
This homoerotic wrestling ass has provided me what must add up to years of entertainment (counting all the repeat viewings). Iconic as hell, this pornboy always rocked me. I remember seeing his ads in the back of muscle mags as a kid, selling his “workout and lifestyle” videos. At 5’10” and reportedly 202 pounds of big, thick muscle, when he slapped his balls down on top of this particular opponent’s nose, I was in heaven. I own this match. I love this match. Iconic muscle stud v iconic muscle god. Both of them snarling, humiliating, craving the opportunity to fuck the other one senseless. I think you can still find this product from the original distributor, or through a more prominent homoerotic wrestling company selling them these days. You can tell me either name under which he wrestled, and any of the multiple spellings of either name that I can find in print, and still get full credit.
Ass #4:

Iconic? in my mind, absolutely. I had a crush on this blond muscle boy the instant I saw him. I wasted way too much cash with my early introduction to porn-on-demand by watching and re-watching his Triple Play. This pornboy did quite a bit of “bi” porn, which speaks absolutely nothing to me. But his wrestling was hot, if only sometimes competitive. In the match pictured, he was in a tag team bout with another iconic muscle pornboy, facing off against some Eastern European phenoms (go ahead, name them all… show off a little). Most of the pics I can find from this match show someone’s hand squeezing this fine ass, which I totally understand.
Ass #5:
Does this ass look familiar? The gargantuan python stretching the fabric of his viciously wedgied trunks from the front could very well give this away. You’d be forgiven for not remembering the ass, in fact, due to the astonishing sight of this fantastic homoerotic wrestling hunk from the front, once the trunks come off, which they usually did. He’s listed at 5’10” and 174 pounds, but I think more memorable would have been the stats on his stunning cock (I’d guess 9 inches and 3 pounds). He was very productive in homoerotic wrestling, appearing in 17 or so matches. He was a nasty heel with a predilection for clawing at an opponent’s abs like pulling pork off the bone. The shiny sheen on the bodies in this pic should make it simple enough to narrow down the opponent… once you’ve identified the ass in question.
It’s all fun and games, so feel free to post what you come up with. I’m quick with praise and humiliate underperforming students only if that’s what they get off on. Good luck!

A Knockout

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Photographer Joe Oppedisano simply connects all the dots between wrestling/fighting and homoerotic kink. In addition to some sweet, tasty pics (look under photos/artistic/Knockout), you can also appreciate a “making of” the Knockout photo shoot, via Greenwood Cooper and downloadable via Queer Channels On Demand (QUOD), if you live somewhere quite a ways east of where I live. I can’t attest to the reliability of QUOD, so this isn’t me telling you lucky, lucky boys in the UK to unload some pounds with them (you probably know better than I do). I am, however, quite certain that Joe’s eye peering through the viewer of his camera is seeing exactly what I’m seeing.

The intensity and intimacy of combat is erotic. Period. Straighten it up all you want, but I just can’t bring myself to believe that the homoerotic kink is a late-comer to male combat sports. Joe’s art may shorten the distance between HBO pay per view fights and Naked Kombat, but I refuse to accept that anyone alive today suddenly invented the notion that hot, hard, sweaty men pounding, squeezing, and climbing on top of each other until one of them is flat on his back and begging for mercy is sexy. As. Hell.

Full contact, I’m on the record, is not as arousing and engaging as wrestling for my tastes. It’s not that the moment a big, blond hunk’s eyes roll into the top of his head, as the tatted bad ass cracks his shin across the side of his face, doesn’t make my blood pump in all the right places. It’s just over so quickly. I need a little time to savor it, to milk the moment (so to speak), to be moved by the suspense of pressure and leverage and endurance and domination. When one hunk can turn the lights out on the other in a split second, I have to worry that it’ll all be over and done with way, way too soon.

QUOD tells me that I live in the wrong part of the world to check out Knockout. This is just one more reason I need to move to the UK (along with Russell Tovey, the real Being Human, Ashley Ryder and Grapple 101).

Name That Tat

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I’ve been light on postings lately as I’ve been immersed in work on a couple of wrestling fiction pieces. Back to fun and games, though, I’ve decided the Sunday quiz will focus in again on tattoos. As regular readers will understand, I’m a big fan of beautiful body art on a homoerotic wrestling hunk. Today’s game features some close ups of some very distinctive tats. I’m putting up as a prize, once again, a pic of one of my own tats for the first person who can correctly identify the owner of all five tats below along with the opponents for the matches pictured. Tough stuff, I know, but I don’t just give my shit away for free! Seriously, I think someone will have a serious shot at running the board this time, with some very identifiable body art on display. I’ll post answers late tomorrow afternoon, to give you some time to study.
Now, Tat #1:
You cannot tell me that you don’t recognize this oddly disturbing shoulder tat. I’ve had more to say about only one other homoerotic wrestler in my nearly two years of blogging. Trickier may be the challenge of identifying the match from which this pic comes, though even there, I think there are abundant clues for even one with passing familiarity of this hot hunk’s body of work.
Tat #2:

I think that this tat is possibly as distinctive and unmistakable as tat #1. Unlike the owner of tat #1, though, we have the growing body of body art documented over time for this fine, fine specimen. In fact, he was the feature of my very first Bodies Over Time post. He’s been incredibly productive in the homoerotic wrestling business. So much so, in fact, the real challenge will probably be teasing out the match from which this pic was captured. You can eliminate the lengthy part of his resume that came before the tats featured here, so that should help. Just because I’m a pushover and can’t stand to hear you complain that this is always too hard, I’ll just say that this match inspired me during the Winter Olympics in Vancouver last year. ‘Nuff said.
Tat #3:
I’d like to know the artist who inked this homoerotic wrestler, because I think the work is fantastically pristine. I find it interesting that I don’t really notice his body art when this wrestler wrestles, which is in part why I put this halfway down the quiz today. This ink belongs to an extremely versatile wrestler with skills in the ring and on the mats (and in some Boston back alleys, I’d wager). Again, the match will pose the biggest challenge here, but you can pare down this wrestler’s resume to just the matches in which he’s smooth and in fighting trim. It’s also the only time that this hot wrestler makes an appearance on the same tape with the top contender for the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler – nonpornboy division. Obscure clue, I realize, but you’ve got to work for your marks in my class.
Tat #4:

This tat resides on an incredibly meaty left pec. “Honor” it says, with a heart, which should be distinctive enough for you. It’s not the only ink this tanned homoerotic wrestling side of beef owns, but it makes me obsess about licking the sweat off his pec whenever I see it. His body of work isn’t so extensive that I feel like I need to give you a ton of clues, but I’ll just say that his opponent in this indoor bout was an answer to a former “Name That Ass” quiz.  If I say more, I might as well just tell you the answer, so that’s it.

Tat #5:
This gorgeous artwork is fantastic, but I’m suspecting that it may not be entirely distinctive enough to immediately ring your bell, so I’m landing it in the place of honor as last and, potentially, most challenging for today’s game. Similar to tat #2, we’ve had an opportunity in this homoerotic wrestler’s resume to see him before and after he began collecting ink. When I first saw him (not in the match pictured), I was really buying the product primarily for a different match on the tape, but it was this homoerotic wrestler’s snarling, flexing, dominating performance that quickly became one of my favorites. His resume is quite long, but a good deal of it covers the time before the ink showed up, so I’m not feeling too, too generous when it comes to helping you out with naming his opponent. But I’ll just say that his opponent here was one of the classic jobbers, all gorgeous handsomeness and hot muscle packed into “beat-me-senseless” pink trunks. Damn, just like waving red in front of a charging bull…
So there’s your assignment. Novices in the appreciation of homoerotic wrestling should really focus on identifying the first two tats. If you don’t know them yet, you’ll want to soon. Intermediate fanatics will likely recognize tat #3, but need to put in a little extra study time to nail down the last two tats and all the opponents. Expert homoerotic wrestling aficionados will likely have no trouble recognizing any of the above wrestlers, but may find it just a stretch to sort out the opponents for each pic (particularly since the last three pics don’t show you anything of the opponents!). Good luck. You may begin…

Name That Ass

wrestlebard1 Comment
Queer Me Now commended readers to try their skills at Name That Ass, so I’m venturing another installment of the game that, I suspect, tickles me much more than you. In any case, I always enjoy hearing from folks who are trying their hand and naming the homoerotic wrestling asses below, with scarce contextual detail other than a close up of a beautiful derrière. Extra credit for naming the opponent for each pic. As always, the asses below belong to some of my favorite wrestlers (so please note, there’s no intended double entendre with the name of the game… I’m not casting aspersions on anyone’s character by calling them an ass, but rather celebrating the glorious glutes that these lovely men have obviously worked hard to craft).
Enough of the foreplay. Now for the main thrust of the game…
Ass #1: 
I’m suspecting that this will be the easiest entry this time around, thus I’ve placed it first. In an industry clearly dominated by wrestling white boys, some gorgeous glutes like this on a black homoerotic wrestler are as beautiful as they are rare. For novices, though, let me give you some more clues. To the best of my knowledge, the hardbody hunk to whom this sexy ass belongs has wrestled in seven homoerotic products, including one ring match that propelled his opponent to capture a homoerotic wrestler of the month title from me (but that’s not the opponent he faced in this pic). He comes in two distinct packages: “big ‘n beefy” and “competition bodybuilder.” I love that he loves the sight of his own physique nearly as much as I do, and I love even more that he’s wrestled completely nude in one match and wearing only wrestling boots (which I actually think is even sexier) in another. He’s 5’11” tall, with a reported weight of 185 pounds, and if you don’t know this ass, you need to.
Ass #2:
I’m not sure if this will be particularly tough for regular Name That Ass players or not. So I’ll give a few more clues than I strictly think are necessary, just to toss a bone to the intermediate players who may get stumped. First of all, I must say that this ass belongs to a wrestler that I’m nursing a quickly growing infatuation with. He’s shown up in 6 homoerotic wrestling matches, and I’m desperate to see him in a dozen more (I’ve got opponents all picked out for him). He has the odd distinction of being a homoerotic wrestler who has yet to be seen entirely nude, and yet has been exposed sufficiently for a proctologist to give a preliminary exam. He truly delights in dominating, and he’s been using those lips of his more and more liberally in every match I’ve seen him. You can count on him slapping his pouch down across the chin of pretty much every lucky opponent he meets, but I think there have been only a couple of them lucky (lucky, lucky, lucky) enough to have had that ass planted squarely across their faces. He’s 5’8,” 170 pounds, and the member of an exclusive and most arousing homoerotic wrestling club.
Ass #3:
This may be quite a leap in difficulty parameters, but although you may not necessarily recognize these muscled glutes at first glance (or the glimpse of ball sac), this has got to be one of the most iconic and prolific homoerotic wrestlers ever. I think it’s physically impossible to count the actual number of homoerotic wrestling matches that star this star, but I’m hazarding a reasonable count of around 26. He wrestled under two names (that I know of). He wrestled in the ring. He wrestled in oil. He wrestled on a mat. He wrestled in a locker room (extra, extra credit for writing a Dr. Suess-style poem about him). He’s reported at 5’10” and 200 pounds, and his ass is, in every possible scenario, golden.
Ass #4:

Here’s where things get tough, and the truly gifted students have an opportunity to shine. Things get a little esoteric from here on out, so you’ll just have to bear with me. This wrestling ass made me sit up and take notice when I saw it the first time. The wrestler is unconventional, incredibly strong, and appropriately named. Here’s where things get possibly misleading with the clues, though I seriously don’t intend it: I’ve seen him wrestle twice, but I can only remember where I’ve seen him wrestle once. A little piece of trivia that absolutely will not help you: seeing this hunk wrestle was what inspired me of the need to start a homoerotic wrestler of the month title, though he himself never possessed that title (told you that wouldn’t help you). 5’8,” 190 pounds of gorgeous muscle, and he laughs evilly with every awesome humiliation he inflicts on his opponent. Hot. Hot. Hot.

Ass #5:
I’m torn as to whether this ass or ass #5 will be hardest (so to speak). Literally, it’s this final ass that is, without a doubt, unquestionably and indisputably, the hardest ass in the field. This is a muscle ass extraordinaire. This homoerotic wrestler makes me gasp just standing still in a speedo. This wrestler has the body of a god, such that any wrestling that fails to include abject worship of his body, and in particular his glutes, is a waste of talent; and I’m so very, very sad to say that this talent was always wasted in the five matches that I can track down with him. That does nothing to make me less desperate to worship his gorgeous, veiny, sliced to the bone physique myself, though. He’s certainly not the best wrestler. But all 6’1″, 215 pounds of him scores extremely high in my rankings of muscle studs who should never, ever, ever, ever be allowed to wear more than a thong.
I’ll post the answers tomorrow. In the mean time, good luck.

Fresh Favorite

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Along the lines of models as fighters, Xnotdead: The Fagzine has this photo series of model “Roman,” by Arno Roca. This is my first introduction to Xnotdead, and I have to say, I like it. I like the name. I like the feel. I love every smokin’ hot image of gorgeous, naked and nearly naked men featured on just about every click.

I’m not entirely sure what the scope and point of it all is, and somehow it’s still working for me. Perhaps the quirky, intuitive and nonlinear nature of Xnotdead is itself the point. There’s a distinct and explicit celebration of fetish eroticism, and that can’t be bad. Is this post-post-modern art? Or politics? Or erotics?

Whatever. I like it, and it’s instantly on my shortlist of sites. Now let’s see Roman flexing a double bicep over top of some bloodied, crushed hunk flat on his back. Or perhaps some vanquished piece of meat licking the sweat off of Roman’s brow.

I’m hoping to continue to be shocked and titillated, and if Xnotdead is really, really good, perhaps even scandalized.