Tag: Brad Pitt

Producer’s Ring: Pitt vs. Faris

wrestlebard2 Comments

The Focus Group – Brad Pitt vs. Sean Faris

PittFaris.jpg

Brad Pitt was making movies when Sean Faris was in diapers.  Both men generated a lot of buzz from fight movies, Brad 10 years before Sean.  When Sean’s film hit bandwidth, he talked a lot of smack, including insisting that he could kick Brad’s ass.  “He’s, what, 20 years older than I am? Hell, does he still have all his original joints?”

Eli Brody had made a lot of money from Brad’s films, and he expected to make a lot of money from Sean’s.  But Eli was not pleased to have one member of his talent pool publicly trashing another.  It wasn’t good for the bottom line.  Eli sat in his office with a cocky Sean slumped in the chair in front of his desk, looking like he’d just been called into the principal’s office.

“Your media relations suck, Sean.  The way you’ve handled yourself in the past year has made me question if you’re film quality.  A recurring role in a daytime soap opera might be more your speed at this point in your career,” Eli chided.

Sean was furious.  “What the fuck!?  I’m golden and you know it!  I have to have two bodyguards to keep the girls from ripping me apart when I walk down the street,” Sean bragged.

“Girls are certainly one component of a winning market strategy,” Eli conceded.  “But I’m not bankrolling any more film projects for you without some clear evidence that you can draw the size and diversity of audiences I need to justify my investment.”  Sean sulked bitterly.  “You will be in Seattle at this address tomorrow” Eli handed him a card.  “You’ve got something good.  My instincts tell me that you can be a big star,” Eli said, grabbing his crotch beneath his desk.  “But I will not stake my fortune or political power on a not-ready-for-primetime punk.  I’ll be pulling together a focus group and mixing you up with someone else from my talent pool.  Come ready to show some passion and win over some new fans, or don’t come at all.”

————-

Sean knocked on an unmarked door in a back alley behind an anonymous brick building.  A massively muscled blond hunk opened the door and waved Sean in, instructing him to change clothes in a dressing room at the end of the hallway.  Sean walked down the dark hallway past door-less, dark rooms with groans coming from inside.  Men stood in the hallway wearing nothing but towels around their waists, looking Sean up and down as he walked to the end of the hall.  At the end of the hall, Sean found the empty room where he was supposed to change clothes.  The only thing there for him to change into was a white towel.

Eli walked up as Sean was frozen, the towel in his hand, uncertain of what to do.  “You’ll need to take your clothes off, wrap that around your waist, and then follow me.”  Sean looked uncomfortable, but pulled off his training jacket, sweatpants, and tennis shoes, and stepped out of his boxer briefs, turning away from Eli.  He wrapped the towel around his waist, then turned and followed Eli down the hallway.  ” Continue reading “Producer’s Ring: Pitt vs. Faris” →

Adoring the Assets

wrestlebardLeave a comment


I’ve been re-reading my recent posts (is that narcissistic?), and noting a pattern. A couple of weeks ago I was infatuated with pecs. It appears that I’ve now become fixated on butts. I’m not always all about big muscle butts. Lots of times a tight, compact caboose is entirely satisfying. But from recent posts, I’m starting to put my finger on (“ON” I said!) big, solid, muscular asses as my new body-part obsession.


In wrestling, a muscled ass can provide nice leverage… or a helpful handhold. More than a couple of the matches in my wrestling fiction feature face-sitting. I wrote Brad Pitt exacting a particularly humiliating face-sitting submission from Sean Faris well before I’d heard that Brad won “best celebrity butt” in some online poll. I’ve adored his ass ever since A River Ran Through It.
A beautiful reverse, face-first head scissors is, of course, an opportunity for a nice, wrestling butt to come in handy. Chris Geary has a nice variation on a figure-4 head scissors that makes me envy the jobber.
Of course there are more gorgeous butts than there are gorgeous butts wrestling, so we just have to use our imaginations. Here are just a few of the butts I find exemplary, which I’d love to see getting put to good use in the ring. First, I once again wax poetic as I ponder Mehcad Brook’s bodacious butt.
Sexy Black Dudes has several exposés (so to speak) on ample asses. I like this angle on model Brandon Parker.

Mario Lopez sports a fantastic ass (thank you Nip/Tuck). His dimples just cry out for someone to beat him senseless in the ring, though. I enjoyed writing a match between Mario and his Broadway rival, Nick Adams. The two of them got press for a muscle-off a couple of years ago, so I wanted to throw them both in the ring and see who came out on top. Personally, I’d be happy to just see the two of them walking away (slowly).