An English Thing

Brit go-go boy and wrestling fanatic Chris Geary has posted pics and brief preview clips of two new beautiful boys posing and wrestling. Personally, I miss seeing more of Chris in front of the camera, particularly when he gets his muscled ass kicked and humiliated. Don’t get me wrong, I love his work. I just particularly love his work when he’s in front of the camera and getting his muscled ass kicked and humiliated.
I was tracking Chris and enjoying his website before he opened up his pay-site on the side, I completely understand the notion of the gay wrestling kink connoisseur and dabbler going entrepreneurial, but I’m a little sad that there’s so much fun wrestling out there and my personal finances are relatively so limited. I dinked around in for a while. Had fun with it. But I redirected my pennies elsewhere to pursue more frequent updates.
Chris has posted a new wrestling update featuring purported straightboys Rowan and Paul. I say “purported” just because I’m feeling a little catty. I don’t really care what they call themselves. Beautiful, hardbodied boys wrestling naked in oil is homoerotic, regardless of whether the boys identify as homo or not. Still, why is it I never meet these knock-down gorgeous muscle stud straightboys who are happy to have me film them wrestling naked, jerking off, showing their asses, and letting me handle their goods? Perhaps I need to move to the England. This is an English thing, right? You UK readers can tell me, this happens to you all the time, right?

Anyhow… Chris has a good eye for beauty, as evidenced by Rowan and Paul. Paul is a tad beefier and inked, but I have to say Rowan is sending me into fits. Those abs need caution tape up around them, because their cut so sharply someone could get hurt!

I’m just tasting the appetizer, so someone with a HornyModelBoys subscription needs to tell me how the main course tastes. Typically, Chris’ wrestling boys are a little weak on the wrestling and the action is a bit choppy and slow paced. But I’m a sucker for most any hard, naked hunk grappling in oil and showing off.
I’m serious now. Where do I find these incredibly gorgeous, exhibitionist straight boys willing to strip naked, get oiled up, and wrestle for me on camera?

A Better Version of the Winter Olympics

The combination of world class athletic bodies and icy cold conditions make winter sports a paradox to me. Most winter sports athletes have to get bundled up in so much gear that obscures what I’m most interested in seeing. Some of the alpine sports and speed skaters at least wear spandex body-hugging gear that shows off the delicious curves of their muscles. But I’m still missing the skin.
Now if the winter Olympics required gear like Chris Geary and his buddies wear on their ski vacations, I predict that NBC would not be in danger of losing millions of dollar on their US rights to broadcast the games.
Chris Geary himself has the idea, snowboarding shirtless. Frankly, his form sucks here, and I would put money down that he was on his ass within five seconds of this photo being taken. But his hot, hard torso shining in the upglare of the snow covered slopes is a thing of beauty that transcends the technical aspects of sport.

Better yet, one of Chris’ travel buddies has an eve better idea. There would be a major fanatical audience tuning in and making advertising dollars worth the investment if the winter Olympians in Vancouver were dressed like this. Speedos and caps, I’m sure, would seriously impede scores and race times, but this is about audience and advertising revenue, isn’t it?

I know that I won’t see a lot of skin in the next couple of weeks being broadcast from Vancouver. I know that stunningly muscled bodies are underneath all the gear and goggles, but the forum just doesn’t give us a glimpse of the wonder of the world class athletic body. I’ll hold out hope for a background piece every so often showing the athletes training in less obscuring gear, perhaps some shirtless gym training shots to remind us that these specimens are honed instruments of power and grace. And of course, I’ll always be able to imagine what must be hidden beneath the spandex and and the down.

Giving and Receiving

Do I still have time to submit my wish list? I’d be happy to find that Santa left
Chris Geary’s fellow go-go boy lover, Erick, under my tree. Well, any nearly-to-entirely naked, tattooed hunk ready to get slammed, squeezed and submitted before being worshipped under the mistletoe would do.

I’m playing Santa these magical days between the solstice and the big day. I got the message from several naughty boys that they’re waiting for some new wrestling stories to be delivered. I have several just about ready to be wrapped in big red bows and dropped down the chimney. I haven’t had time to work on more than one at a time for a while, but for the holidays, I’ve been putting in some extra work in Santa’s workshop to pump out four in a row.
But back to me and my wish list. I sat on Santa’s lap a few days ago (“is that a lump of coal in your pocket, Santa, or are you just happy to see me?”). I whispered into his ear my heart’s desire for some of Santa’s helpers to send me what I really want for Christmas: some homoerotic wrestling stories from my fellow kinksters. In the past nine months, I’ve posted more than sixty stories from the depths of my wrestling fetish, sharing with you some of my twisted imagination. What I’d like for Christmas this year is a little glimpse into your twisted imagination. I’m hoping, wishing, longing for Santa to deliver me some kinky wrestling fiction from you fellow lovers of the homoerotic wrestling arts to share with the dozens of fans of wrestling fiction, first and foremost: me.
I know I’ve been naughty this year. So I’m looking for the type of well-muscled, big chested, shirtless Santa that likes to reward naughty gay boys with their hearts’ desires. I’ll be posting my first new wrestling match in Sidelineland this afternoon to help keep you warm on the longest night of the year (for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere). Then I’m going to curl up in front of my tree and fall asleep, in the hopes of finding some presents waiting for me when I wake up.

Sublime Suffering

Some guys love the bearhug, but for my money, an over the knee backbreaker makes me swoon more than any other hold. Chris Geary taps into this fantastic move a lot, here being both owned and worshipped simultaneously.

The mechanics of the OTK backbreaker are initially beautifully simple. The high impact aspect is fantastic, and it writes its own story. One man scoops up his opponent, cradling him across his chest, then drops down to one knee, driving his opponent’s prone back crashing down on top of his thigh. How much more vulnerable and helpless can a man be than swept off his feet and clutched across his opponent’s chest? How much more deliciously sadistic can a wrestler get than to cradle his opponent like a child, then plow his lower back across his leg.
Personally, I think anyone can sell the OTK backbreaker drop. But it’s a much more refined skill to sell the prolonged OTK backbreaker hold. Frankly, I think the physics and kinesthetics argue against this hold. There are too many ways for a victim to squirm, roll, or pike themselves free (or at least throw their opponent off balance). Many of the best intentioned OTK holds end up falling apart because even when both fighters are willing, the balance and positioning are a delicate thing.

So it takes a real salesman to convince us that he is caught and suffering helplessly while bent backward across his opponent’s thigh. My first Can-Am purchase, Canadian Musclehunk Oil Wrestling 3, features one-hit-wonder (sadly) Marco Denetti just barely managing to handle an OTK finisher on Ed Harte. The funny thing is, while Denetti is totally committed to his performance from go, Harte is an underwhelming salesman… until he’s suffering in the OTK. Denetti can barely maintain his balance with this massively thick bodybuilder perched across his thigh (in fact, there are a couple of collapsed OTK attempts earlier where he just can’t manage it). But when Denetti finally gets Harte in position and presses down on his leg and chest, bending the bodybuilder backward, Harte suddenly kicks it into high gear. He groans like he’s in the middle of a long and sweet climax, and then suddenly his voice raises an octave and he cries out his pained submission. “Do you give, pretty boy!?” Denetti shouts. “I giiiiive!!!” Harte finally cries out. It’s perhaps the only moment in the entire match that I buy, but Harte finally sells me.
My first BG East purchase (I feel like I’m retelling a series of first dates), was Fantasymen 18. While this collection is a little inconsistent from match to match, it features the consummate artist Brad Rochelle being cracked in half, bent backward across Jeff Phoenix’s knee. As a jobber, as a heel, as a face, Brad always commits. In their first of three falls, Brad sells us the notion that Phoenix (who, let’s face it, doesn’t always look like he knows what he’s doing), has surprisingly reversed Brad’s joint torture into applying a bow and arrow. Dragging him up by the hair (love that!), Phoenix then sweeps Brad up in his arms and drops him across his outstretched knee in a classic OTK. Here’s where Brad’s mastery kicks in. With Phoenix prying his captured hunk backward, pressing down on his chin and leg, Brad looks like he’s being bent so far backward that he’s really just about to break. Brad may look like a muscled fratboy, but (my God!) he bends like Barishnikov! And he suffers like no one else can.
Blond muscleboy Phoenix helps convince us that Brad is helplessly suffering. “Do you want more pain!? Do you want more pain!?” he demands. “I’ll give it to ya!” Brad chokes and whimpers, rejecting the invitation to submit. Phoenix has broken out into a full sweat now, the vascularity in his chest popping out as he flexes impressively, appearing to fold Brad still farther across his knee. Brad’s speedo-clad crotch is arched upward at the apex of his bridge, but Phoenix doesn’t pay it any attention (we never see Brad’s jewels… someone needs to find that price point). Eventually, Phoenix breaks the OTK and flips his opponent over to his stomach in an almost-as-hot boston crab. Brad sounds almost like he’s sobbing, crying out, “No, no, no…” for what seems like an eternity. The cocky Phoenix claims, “I can do this all day. Do you wanna give!?” Brad chokes desperately in that stuttering near-sob of pain, suffering just to the point that can’t be believed, before finally, frantically tapping the mat and weakly panting, “I give, I give, I give, I give…”
Now, just seeing Brad and his opponent in tight speedos would be worth the price of admission. But the genre of homoerotic wrestling adds to the spectacle of body beautifuls the element of suffering, control, domination and submission. Brad doesn’t just submit to lose the fall, we get just the hint that he submitted to letting his opponent capture him, torture him, and humiliate him. Brad eventually destroys the blond stud in falls two and three, but without a doubt Brad is at the top of his game when prone, bent backward at an astonishing angle, and sobbing in pain across his opponent’s outstretched leg.

For my money (and yes, I’ve invested quite a bit), the over the knee backbreaker, when done right, is by far the sexiest tool in the homoerotic wrestling arsenal.

Adoring the Assets

I’ve been re-reading my recent posts (is that narcissistic?), and noting a pattern. A couple of weeks ago I was infatuated with pecs. It appears that I’ve now become fixated on butts. I’m not always all about big muscle butts. Lots of times a tight, compact caboose is entirely satisfying. But from recent posts, I’m starting to put my finger on (“ON” I said!) big, solid, muscular asses as my new body-part obsession.

In wrestling, a muscled ass can provide nice leverage… or a helpful handhold. More than a couple of the matches in my wrestling fiction feature face-sitting. I wrote Brad Pitt exacting a particularly humiliating face-sitting submission from Sean Faris well before I’d heard that Brad won “best celebrity butt” in some online poll. I’ve adored his ass ever since A River Ran Through It.
A beautiful reverse, face-first head scissors is, of course, an opportunity for a nice, wrestling butt to come in handy. Chris Geary has a nice variation on a figure-4 head scissors that makes me envy the jobber.
Of course there are more gorgeous butts than there are gorgeous butts wrestling, so we just have to use our imaginations. Here are just a few of the butts I find exemplary, which I’d love to see getting put to good use in the ring. First, I once again wax poetic as I ponder Mehcad Brook’s bodacious butt.
Sexy Black Dudes has several exposés (so to speak) on ample asses. I like this angle on model Brandon Parker.

Mario Lopez sports a fantastic ass (thank you Nip/Tuck). His dimples just cry out for someone to beat him senseless in the ring, though. I enjoyed writing a match between Mario and his Broadway rival, Nick Adams. The two of them got press for a muscle-off a couple of years ago, so I wanted to throw them both in the ring and see who came out on top. Personally, I’d be happy to just see the two of them walking away (slowly).