I have a few more reviews planned for recent wrestling releases, but I’m prepared to lay the laurel leaves across the handsome brow of one particular wrestling stud who, in my humble opinion, put up the hottest, most provocative, most entertaining homoerotic wrestling appearance in an April release. In a field of truly outstanding contenders, just one wrestler showed me something not only new, but something downright inspired. My homoerotic wrestler of the month is…
I won’t reiterate all of the points I made in my review of Rafael’s Fan Fantasy match against his long-time muscle crush, Kieran Dunne. A few points, however, deserve mentioning again.
Rafael is infatuated with sweaty, bulging, beautiful hunk Kieran. Well, I’m sure it’s entirely possible that he’s not, in real life, but in Fan Fantasy 4, I believe him. There’s a genuineness about him, a raw, open-faced honesty that drips with veracity. It’s not that I expect to see Oscar-award winning acting in my homoerotic wrestling, but anytime a hunk sells me as hard as Rafael does, I’m fully engaged, delighted, and charmed.
So Rafael brings clearly drawn character, which is enough to put him at the head of the pack in most random samplings of homoerotic wrestling. But he also tells a story. Kieran, of course, tells it, too, but if there’s a narrative voice in this drama, it’s Rafael’s. I watched Magic Mike XXL recently, and I was reminded of the allure and the limits of eye candy. I had the same reaction to the first Magic Mike. All those gorgeous bodies, stripping and dancing, will haunt my dreams for weeks. But, fuck. No goddamn plot. No dramatic tension. Incredibly weak motivation, and a story that can be summed up comprehensively in 5 words (“Strippers reunited to strip again”). Seeing Joe Mangienello’s naked ass and watching him tie some fawning fan up in a sling and simulate growling sex to a Nine Inch Nails soundtrack sends me diving deep into my own homoerotic wrestling fan fiction of Joe in the wrestling ring. But that’s just it. I’ve got to add the storyline.
In Fan Fantasy 4, adorable Rafael provides all the back story, dramatic tension, and quest narrative necessary to turn this into so much more than eye candy. His fawning devotion for Kieran lures the narcissist into agreeing to wrestle (well, that an a wad of cash). But living the fantasy isn’t just thrilling for Rafael. It also inspires a passion that takes both him and Kieran by surprise. The curly haired cherub sucks down more punishment than Kieran can believe because Rafael is living the dream! When he shyly asks to feel what’s like to have Kieran trapped in his headscissors, the once in a lifetime opportunity to see Kieran’s face turning beet red, staring up helplessly at his number one fan, turns Rafael into a gloating, flexing, swelling lottery winner. The two of them, both Kieran and Rafael, have unleashed a beast that neither of them quite expected, and the unexpected is always value added for me in homoerotic wrestling.
Lest I short sell the more obvious delights of Fan Fantasy 4, let me acknowledge that Rafael’s body drives me insane with lust. At the surface, it’s a classic mismatch of big, bulging meat against lithe, lean twinkie. But as much as I also adore Kieran’s big, juicy, muscled ass, I cannot take my eyes off of Rafael in this match. I’ve documented in the pages of this blog extensively the truth that I get turned on by a wide variety of bodies. Most certainly on that list is a curly haired, 5’9″, 145 pound, bronzed, stunningly beautiful Latino heartthrob with a perfect ass.
By the time this match is over, I’ve invested a couple of hours and quarts and quarts of bodily fluids. I’m praying to the homoerotic wresting gods that next up for Rafael is his own Eve Harrington fawning fan whose knees quiver at the sight of his insanely sexy trail and piercing, dark bedroom eyes. In the mean time, make room on the throne for the mouthwatering hot, taut ass of my new reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month.
Sidelineland 