A Dish Best Served Cold

Tyrell’s handsome face smiles sinisterly as he drags
Z-Man by his perfectly coiffed hair to the ring.

I’ve just started to spend some quality time with Wrestle Revenge, the new release from BG East starring a truly astounding threesome of Z-Man, Tyrell Tomsen, and Dev Michaels.  It’s one story that extends across two match-ups. I love a through-story, so I’m thrilled at the overall narrative. Z-Man is up to his old tricks, trying to ice off his next opponent, Tyrell, by making him wait for Z to complete his pre-match grooming ritual in the bathroom. Whatever effect Z-Man expected his mind games to have, they do nothing other than send Tyrell into a fiercely dangerous rage. Z doesn’t get two inches through the bathroom door before he’s been punched, trampled, face-to-crotch head scissored to submission, and then dragged to the ring by his oh-so pretty head of hair.

Tyrell nearly picks Z-Man off his feet by nothing but his balls!

I count Tyrell among my guilty pleasures. “Guilty,” because he’s got more enthusiasm than he has actual skill in selling a homoerotic wrestling romp. It’s not his wrestling that I really find fault with. He hits his marks and looks nothing short of superheroic every step of the way. But his cocky banter sort of wanders, a little non-sensical and not quite always contributing to pushing the story forward. His dialogue often comes across a little forced to me. Like he knows he’s supposed to be snarling and verbally humiliating, but it’s a skill he hasn’t really mastered yet. However, he’s nothing short of a “pleasure” because when he’s in the shape he’s in for Wrestle Revenge, he’s just about the most beautiful thing on the planet! He repeatedly calls Z-Man “pretty boy,” which is completely on the mark. Z-Man’s mind-blowing fitness and silky smooth, rippled body makes my mouth and eyes water, he’s so over the top pretty. But for me (and I’m not trying to speak for anyone else), standing next to Tyrell, Z-Man fades into the background (I know, some Z fans are already furiously typing rebuttals). Tyrell reminds me of the bodies that I coveted as a teenager as I obsessed over every bulge and crevice of the bodybuilders in the magazines I secretly hoarded. His fluorescent yellow underwear/trunks accentuate his fantastic, hard, round ass and the outline of the head of his cock and huge balls dangle in his pouch hypnotically. His massive shoulders, his huge, veiny arms, his astonishingly separated pecs, his washboard abs, his smooth, powerful, lickable thighs… Good God this man is a stunning specimen of the very best of what turns me on and attracts me most in a hard bodied hunk. And his puppy dog eyes just make me melt.

Z-Man rises to the occasion to make muscle stud Tyrell suffer in a gorgeous
piece of homoerotic wrestling sculpture.

As Z-Man has proven every step of his journey through BG East, although ridiculously pretty and groomed within an inch of his life, he’s not a fucker to be underestimated! He makes big, gorgeous Tyrell pay with sweat and tears for turning his back on Z-Man. If anything can make me tear my eyes away from Tyrell’s magnetic ass, it’s the amazing pairing of both of these wrestler’s packages displayed so revealingly in their gear. Maybe we’ve seen the precise sketch of Z’s cock outlined so perfectly in these trunks before, but it’s a revelation to me. When his package isn’t getting clawed and bashed by Tyrell, it’s bouncing and swinging like a piñata (which explains Tyrell’s reaction to it). When Zack bridges high in an aesthetically perfect leg lock and double arm bar combo indicative of the best that BG East is bringing out of him, his perky cock looks like a flag pole planted at the summit of a truly stunningly muscled physique.

Tyrell shoves every inch of his beautiful body in
Z-Man’s humiliated face.

But there’s just nothing quite so climactic for me as seeing Z-Man at Tyrell’s mercy, his face stuck humiliatingly between his opponent’s luscious legs and the head of Tyrell’s cock pointing like an arrow at Z’s lips. Yes, yes, yes, yes… YES!

Dev defends Z-Man’s honor and decides he needs a bite
of that dish called revenge!

When I can gather myself to push play on the second match, I’m thrilled (THRILLED) to discover that Dev Michaels is seriously pissed off at the nasty bashing Tyrell dished out all over Z-Man’s playgirl body.  I’d heard the rumor that it was Z that brought Dev with him to BG East, and it certainly seems like big, bruiser, hairy chested Dev takes Z-Man’s pounding personally. The back story that beardaddy Dev feels compelled to take it upon himself to exact revenge for smooth, devastatingly prettypretty Z is a fantastically hot, erotic backstory! Fresh off his bagging and tagging poor Z-Man, however, Tyrell is unrepentant and feeling invincible.  He talks every inch as big a game as he did when he was smothering Z-Man’s face between his thighs. Big, nasty Dev, however, is not Z-Man.

Dev ties muscle stud Tyrell up in exquisite knots.

Here’s the “revenge” in this two act play. There’s almost no one I’d rather watch pick apart and exploit Tyrell’s perfectly muscled physique than Dev. Dev inspires big beardaddy fantasies I, quite honestly, didn’t even know I had. But no doubt about it: I have them, and they star Dev’s monster quads, unbelievably huge hairy pecs, and the buckets of sweat that Dev wrings out of his own body when he’s working really really hard (which as far as I can tell is ALWAYS)!

Tyrell tastes humiliation.

Dev manages to dish out the most humiliating punishment that comes straight out of Tyrell’s playbook in his victory over Dev’s boytoy buddy Z.  While personally I think having my face smashed into Dev’s sweaty crotch and my head squeezed until I scream would be a ride I’d pay double for, Tyrell doesn’t seem to enjoy the experience nearly as much.

Dev works every inch of Tyrell’s sculpted body.

As I’ve mentioned when commenting (often) on Joshua Goodman’s package (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!), when you’ve got the heft that Tyrell has swinging between his thighs, you might want to be careful about taking a wrestling match to the level of cock abuse. For the repeated, nasty, often completely unnecessary fixation Tyrell had on punishing Z’s dangling baubles, beardaddy Dev uses those massive paws of his to dig in deep and claw the fuck out of Tyrell in a truly gorgeous work of art that technically would be called a single leg crab, but trust me, that does not begin to describe the exquisite sculpture that this is. Sweat streams off of Dev’s brow. The veins in his arms flair to the surface as he flexes. His hairy body is glistening as he sits mercilessly down across Tyrell’s impossibly narrow lower back. And the black adonis has nowhere to go but down!

Dev OWNS muscle stud Tyrell!

Again, I feel the need to say that this DVD does not contain the height of consistently and technically thrilling pro wrestling. It’s not bad, mind you, but when I’ve got a serious case of wrestle lust that only hot slamming, beautifully told pro/fantasy homoerotic wrestling can deliver, this may or may not satisfy that itch every time. But for three perfectly cast fantasy bodies telling a hot, homoerotic through-story and hitting some sweet marks and showing off each other’s world class bodies and sending my imagination exploding like fireworks as I marvel at the true wonders that are their beautifully, perfectly, uniquely sculpted fantasy physiques, I’ll but delighted to indulge in my guilty pleasures over and over again.

What’s Been Unsaid

After nearly about a month and a half, I can finally spit out the metallic taste of blood from my mouth! When I made my pilgrimage to BG East in August, I was treated to the privilege of seeing photos from all of the catalog 89 new releases. It was a profound thrill, like being told that I, and I alone, could open all of my Christmas presents a week early. But then I couldn’t talk about it! I couldn’t write about it! I couldn’t obsess on the pages of this blog about each and every tantalizing, confidential morsel from catalog 89 that made my mouth water. I’ve been biting my tongue non-stop since August 5th, and I’m overjoyed that BG East has released catalog 89 for purchase. Let the obsessive reviewing begin (and the healing of my bitten tongue)!!!

I’m just hitting a few highlights for today, because there’s just too much that I’ve had bottled up that I’ve got to say about so many of the new releases. So in addition to nearly making want to cry to see Mitch Colby barefoot in the ring in Florida Fights 3, I’ve been aching to comment on match #1 from that same DVD. Hell and damnation! Kirby Stone can WEAR a pair of skintight shiny pink trunks! That ass has most certainly caught my attention!
Pretty much precisely the same thing has to be said about Cain McDonald in his appearance (taking fall #1!!!) against Mikey Vee. The legs and ass on this grappler make me gasp! That face looks just about too juvenile to feel entirely guilt-free about, but that lower body is 100% guilt-free adult male entertainment.
Next up on the comments burning a whole in my belly: Dev Michaels looks like a fucking monster in the ring against slender, unclassically but undeniably handsome newbie, Lucky Loko. Man alive the two of them make for an astonishingly arousing picture! The fact that Lucky didn’t run screaming from the building on sight of Dev makes him a hot commodity in my book.
And speaking of monsters in the ring (I’ve been DYING to use that line!), has it escaped anyone’s attention that Attila Dynasty appears to be smuggling major meat in his trunks in his scissor fest against Trent Blaze?!!! If the summer Olympics have taught me anything, they’ve taught me that gymnasts are sexy as hell, and the pics of Attila’s acrobatics in the ring have caught me completely off guard. I had no idea from his debut to expect either all that Attila can accomplish without his feet on the ground, or the massive ballast in the pouch of those powder blues (I’m heading back to Backyard Brawls 7 right now for another look).
Next up, it simply must be said that the sight of Z-Man clawing Skrapper’s chest and swinging for the rafters makes me just about ready to pop right here and now. If I know Skrapper, however, Z-Man better not count him out a moment too soon!
And I’ve been anticipating the hating for a while, but I call it like I see it. And as much as the sight of Rio Garza’s body getting worked over (and that face crushed between his opponent’s legs) is like icing on the cake, the pics of Jimmy Gee’s slabs of beef that are his muscled ass has got the be the most delicious main course in this match for me.
I’ve also been aching to say that it’s about time for another installment of Wrestle Worship. I love this concept. I need more of this concept. And newbies Magnus and Surge appear to dish up an extraordinary amount of eroticism with delightful proportions of both wrestling and body worship. Does anyone else wonder if Magnus requires his own zip code? And speaking of numbers, does anyone have Surge’s telephone #!?
Again, I’ve been dying to celebrate the return of ripped, rock hard Tyrell Tomsen. I can’t think of a better opponent to pick apart a bodybuilder adonis than the likes of sexy-assed veteran Patrick Donovan.

And finally, Mr. Joshua, Patrick, barefoot, in the ring, with Patrick’s testicles getting crushed in Mr. J’s fist… You’ll have to excuse me now. I need to rehydrate after writing those words. I’m sure you’ll be hearing much, much more from me about all of this in the future.

Bard’s Pilgrim Way – Post Script

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My time at the BG East compound will go down as my favorite afternoon playing hooky from work… ever. I enjoyed several hours hanging out with Kid Leopard and the boys who came and went.  In fact, I heard more than I’m allowed to tell you about. I was sworn to secrecy about much of what I heard, and when I promise Kid Leopard, Kid Vicious, and Jonny Firestorm that I won’t talk, damn well better believe my lips are sealed (though it might be worth it to be punished by any/all of them!).
If these guys swore you to secrecy, what would you do?
However, there are a couple of scoops that I was expressly given permission to divulge. One scoop is already out of the bag, really. The next catalog is just about ready to be released. Since there are already some preview pics up in the Arena for two DVDs, this won’t be earth shattering news for many. I did have an opportunity to look at preview photos for all of the matches for the upcoming catalog, and all I can say (under pain of a three-way beating), is that it’s an incredibly hot line up!
One of my perennial favorites Mitch Colby climbs back in the ring,
pitting muscle against muscle in soon-to-be released Florida Fights 3.
Muscle beast Dev Michaels digs deep in his ring debut
against long-haired rookie, lightweight Lucky(!?) Loko – BG East Catch Weight 4.
The second scoop I was expressly given permission to divulge is perhaps more satisfying: we’ve not seen the last of Brad Rochelle! Yes, I was promised that the saga of Brad Rochelle’s “Contract” with BG East has continued to unfold on camera, and we will see what has become of the babyface-turned-heel in due time.  I got no hints as to how things shook out for Brad. No idea if he’s made peace and joined the pantheon of BG East’s undisputed bad boys, or if the Boss managed to give Brad just enough rope to finally hang himself with it. But Brad’s fans can get their hearts a-pumpin’ with the assurance that they’ll see and hear more from the jobber-turned-heel hunk who so many of us have followed with a singular, fanatical passion for the past 18 years!
We haven’t seen the last of Brad!

Asses Named

No perfect marks for this week’s Name That Ass quiz, but that just means you’ve got more delightful studying to do. Let’s start with a closer look at these beautiful butts:
Ass #1 belongs to…
BG East rookie muscleboy, Marco Carlow.
 Marco’s debut in Motel Madness 11 against BG East first-timer (but hardly a rookie) Dev Michaels is such a feast for those looking for muscleboy wrestling in private. Marco is gorgeous from head to toe, and that round, hard ass is stunning. Love it. Lusting after him. Waiting for more Marco!
Ass #2 belongs to…
Naked Kombat’s rookie pornboy, Gavin Waters.
 I’ve already talked quite a bit a about Gavin’s tag team bout alongside fellow overconfident bully, Nikko Alexander. It’s an ensemble work of art, and my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy, Trent Diesel, rocks me hard. But sweet man alive! Gavin Waters is a beast! Love his attitude. Love his body. Love that ass.
 Ass #3 belongs to…
Can-Am’s Lincoln Lode.
 Lincoln’s been out of the scene for a while, as far as I can tell, but his brief tenure in homoerotic wrestling made a big impression on me. His face isn’t quite as classically handsome as, say, Marco Carlow, but the frat boy smirk on that sliced and diced gymbunny physique never disappointed. He almost always paired up with red-head Andrew Lane, which made me write a lover-backstory for the two in my own mind. Here Lincoln and workout buddy Billy Watt play wishbone with Andrew’s legs in Hotel Hell: Toronto.  This match illutrates my point: Lincoln’s ass was almost as perfect as glutes get.
Ass #4 belongs to…
…BG East’s new wrestler (but again, not a rookie), Torvik Tirva.
 I’m a sucker for an accent…. and a nice ass… and tattoos… but even still, there was something that caught me by surprise by how turned on Torvik’s motel match with Brad Flash made me. When Torvik gloats and taunts, it’s absolutely fantastic entertainment. When he wrenches on Brad’s knee until the scrapper can’t stand up, Brad extends a hand of gentlemanly congratulations on a job well done. Again, I say, when Torvik slaps the extended hand away with lip-curling contempt and congratulates himself with a sweet flex in the mirror before walking off laughing at his injured opponent, I’m sold.
 Ass #5 belongs to…
 …Can-Am’s handsome babyface hero, Maverick.
 Homoerotic wrestling is littered with beautiful bodies who lingered far too briefly, and Maverick is a prime example. He had a face of a big screen movie star, the body of a Greek sculpture, and the chin-up, knight-in-white hero vibe that had me reverting to pre-adolescence and lustfully rooting for the good guy. And that ass! His opponent in Young Musclestuds Wrestling 4, Trey, seems to be as awed by that work of art as I am.

In honor of “big” news in U.S. politics this week, there’s no way in the world that next week’s quiz could be anything other than a new edition of Name That Cock. So study up on your homoerotic wrestling cocks now!