The polls close Sunday at midnight (EST, I’m guessing), so don’t contemplate your votes for the Best of BG East in 2014 too long. If you haven’t submitted your votes yet, consider this your voter’s guide with only a tad bit of electioneering to keep it saucy. Today, let’s take a look at a couple more categories. First up, best ring match.
Best Body 2013 winner Z-Man doesn’t take kindly to Kip Sorell trying to outshine him. Ring Hunks 2 is the first match I remember Z-Man really telling the story, and he does an outstanding job of it. I’d go so far as to say his body part by body part dissection of Kip may have been exactly what kept the pretty boy out of contention in Best Body 2014. Drama, beauty, suffering… could this be best ring match?Comparing tag team matches to singles is apples to oranges, but I’m extremely happy to see Tag Team 17 show up in the polls somewhere. 4 of the finest specimens of wrestling muscle, 3 rocking debuts, and my perennial favorite Lon Dumont working his magic… that’s a strong case for best ring match!Demolition 17’s Genatto v Jenkins match shows up both as an option for best ring match and best squash. Guido obliterates the young stallion. Fucking brutal as hell. Incredible feats of strength, flexibility, endurance, and pro quality talent. Total contender.Ringwars 23 features Jobe Zander getting everything he’s dishing out and more from Peter Owens. Call yourself “the centerpiece” and you should come to expect the laser scope trained on your mammoth member. Vile, vicious, dizzyingly brutal.Fans salivate at the sight of Alexi Adamov, so his Ringwars 22 match with Scott Starr has got to be in the running. Although he’s always dangerous, Alexi is regularly in jeopardy, which keeps so many tuning in to see Sexy Alexi face the music. And against pro stud Scott Starr (no bulge nomination!?), this is fast, furious, and muscle magnificent.
I’ve got to punch my hanging chad for Tag Team Torture 17, because 4 magnificent specimens of wrestling meat beat 2 about 99 out of 100 times for me (it’s all about math). 3 debuts and every fucking one of them is absolutely on point and golden? That’s a work of art, and add Lon Dumont’s snarls and flexes, and I’m done for. I suspect I may out of the mainstream, and if so, I’m expecting to see Z-Man/Sorell or Guido/JJ own the plurality. The dark horse odds defier I think has to be Jobe/Peter. Jobe’s crotch has its own clamoring fan base, though…
Next for today, I want to muse a bit on one of my favorite categories, Best Debut. I love fresh blood, the suspense of new faces, who will they be, what will they sound like, can they fucking wrestle? There were outstanding newbies hitting the scene this year, so let’s take a look at the nominees.
Cal Bennett is here in his 3rd category after appearing in exactly 1 late season match. That’s got to say something. His gargantuan biceps and ripped torso say a lot as well, as does his baby blue eyes. He’s definitely made the most of that one match, though he got steam rolled like a pancake by Chace LaChance. Fans clearly responded, however, which I’d argue is the essence of what makes for a debut of the year.If the standard is going from 0 to 60 in record time, however, it’s hard not to give a long, lingering look at Ty Alexander. Unlike some of the other contenders, Ty not only debuted in 2014, he went on to be featured in 5 releases, including one single match release. Ty works social media, and between that and his bubble butt, he’s generated a tidal wave of fan support.Another late season debut with just one match under his belt is “don’t discount my ass” Kirk Donahue. True enough, the freckle faced stud came on like a house on fire in his demolition at the hands of Guido, making my crotch groan to watch him, literally, attempt to flee the ring crying in terror. He took punishment for about 4 men and sucked it down like java. I expect major things in 2015, but did he do enough in 2014?Richie Douglas has come on extremely strong since debuting earlier this year. 2 matches in 2014 and already in the first 2015 catalog, the babyface boy scout is ripped to shreds and a punishment sponge. He’s innocence aching to be spoiled which is a compelling character to already own in your debut year.Zach Reno (left in this picture) is another hunk who got tongues a wagging after just one appearance, namely in Tag Team Torture 17. The curly-haired bearded beauty impressed a ton of fans, helping to make TTT17 such an outstanding release. He’s got a distinct, sexy ass look, power, speed, and a jock-takes-on-homoerotic-wrestling character in place.
Another tough, tough category. I’m partial to the nominees that demonstrate some depth, so although a couple of these studs could easily be major players after a couple more matches, I lean squarely toward punching my ticket for either Ty or Richie. I’d be happy to settle the close call with a rip ‘n’ strip match between the two of them to determine the winner of my vote, but short of that, I’ve got to say Ty Alexander has done more in his debut year with BG East than almost anyone I can remember. You’ve got to go back to Eli Black to really see quite the same momentum so soon. I’m sorry not to see another slightly more experienced newbie like Kayden Keller on the ticket, and I’m suspicious as to whether Cal’s dazzling beauty (if not stellar wrestling) may attract the masses. Even though he’s my number 2, I think Richie is the dark horse long shot bet here to consider. Not a ton of buzz, but a solid wrestler, luscious body, and that rare combo of adolescent face on a hot, hard, mature man’s body.
I hope I get to celebrate Cameron Matthews birthday every year, because this year, for his birthday, he sent me a present. Knowing full well of my infatuation with Lon Dumont, Cameron dropped me a sneak preview of Lon’s first ever oil wrestling match, and asked, in exchange, if he could use some of my words about the match to help promote it on his website. Pretty much everything after he said “Lon oil wrestling” was mostly just noisy static in my ears, but nevertheless, I did spend some delightfully intimate time appreciating Lon and his opponent, rocking Charlie Panther, wrestling in baby oil. I agreed to let Cameron use whatever part of my write up he found useful to help promote the sales of the match. You can, and should, check out his website to see which part of the following he decided to use…
Hot, hard muscles always look better with a slowly, deeply applied coat of baby oil!
“Smells good, feels good,” Lon murmurs rubbing his ripped, smooth bodybuilder physique all over with baby oil. Looks fucking amazing, too, I’d like to add. Dressed in just a towel after stepping out of the steam room, the wrestler-turned bodybuilder (and back again) treats his phenomenal anatomy with the love and admiration it so well deserves. That’s right, fans of glistening, hardbodied muscle hunks, pull out your own bottles of baby oil and prepare to lather up, because there’s nothing quite so provocative as a competition bodybuilder in stunning condition luxuriating in applying a deep, thick coat of baby oil.
Well, perhaps one thing more provocative is a second hardbodied wrestler with an expansive ego and a sudden, jealous need for skin care that only a bottle of baby oil can provide. Charlie Panther steps out of the sauna and asks Lon to share. Teasingly, Lon rubs some oil into Charlie’s bulging right pec. “I like the way you get deep into the crevices,” Charlies groans, his eyes fluttering under Lon’s touch. Lon concedes to thoroughly apply a fresh coat to Charlie’s right arm as well. But no more, Lon insists. He’s got way too many mouthwatering muscles of his own to lubricate. “And I’ve got big night planned for this baby oil,” Lon discloses with a wink.
“If you don’t share that baby oil with me now, those big plans you have are going to change!” Charlie demands, grabbing for Lon’s cylinder and chasing the taunting bodybuilder into the nearby ring. Suddenly, Lon nestles the bottle against his crotch and squeezes, squirting Charlie in the face. “Sometimes that happens to me,” the bodybuilder smirks, “I get a little too excited and it comes out early.”
Lon strokes his cylinder hard before exploding all over Charlie’s pecs.
The towels comes off to reveal beautiful speedos suctioned to the phenomenal asses of these two seasoned wrestlers. Quickly, playground shoving turns into full contact combat to subdue and take possession of the coveted bottle of lubricant. But despite long resumes of pro wrestling experience, there’s nothing quite like trying to apply a hold to a powerful body slathered in oil. They swarm all over each other, quickly slipping and crashing to the mat, sliding and slithering across each other’s struggling bodies to figure out how secure a hold and, even more difficult, maintain it.
Charlie grabs hold of the bodybuilder and shows off that glistening, phenomenal physique.
When Charlie manages to nearly choke his selfish opponent out entirely, he grabs the bottle, strokes it furiously pressed against his crotch and explodes all over his opponent who’s just beginning to clear his head. “Oh yeah, all over your back,” the black hunk groans ecstatically, rubbing the fresh coat of lubricant into Lon’s muscles. But a seasoned heel like Lon is almost never too dazed to know precisely how to suck the momentum out of a rising opponent by delivering a swift, hard strike to his balls.
Oil wrestling requires a whole lot of intimacy!
The balance of power in this battle of the bottle of baby oil teeters back and forth, and both determined hunks unquestionably enjoy the feel of well-lubricated, intimate combat. They steal secret strokes of their own and each other’s glistening muscles. As they both insinuate that the bottle is a proxy for their own ample endowments, it can hardly be described as “innuendo” that coming out on top is on both of their minds. Blown holds sabotaged by too little friction keep the coveted cylinder passed back and forth as every inch of skin and modest fabric is entirely and liberally dripping with oil. But there’s just one shiny, muscled hunk who manages to put his competition out for good in order to stroll from the ring with baby oil in hand, promising to dedicate his abundantly lubricated “big night” to his vanquished foe.
Lon two-fists the muscled appendage between his thighs.
Deeply provocative, relentlessly tempting and taunting, lubricated muscles and raging egos make this gorgeous oil wrestling match sensationally sexy. I highly recommend you take a long shower, relax in the sauna a while, and then pull out your own supply of lubricant as you settle in to enjoy this new release from the sizzling hot mind of the most prolific personality in homoerotic wrestler, Cameron Matthews!
Excitedly, Charlie tugs at Lon’s oil soaked trunks, giving just a glimpse of those muscled glutes.
Long-time friend and occasional contributor here at neverland, Jose, has his own homoerotic wrestling blog!? How did I not know this until now? Well, it’s probably in part due to La Sustancia being in Spanish, and I chose the infinitely more practical Swedish when I had to choose a foreign language to learn [note the ironic tone intended, though I LOVE hunky Swedes!]. Jose promises to post a few English translated posts now and again, such as his June 25 scientific analysis demonstrating empirically the qualitative and quantitative tale of the tape comparing the biggest homoerotic wrestling producers in the business.
Graphic proof.
While I can’t read the labels, this graph clearly demonstrates a number of things. One, data turn me on. Two, Jose and I have extremely high rater reliability when it comes to how we code the Can-Am and BG East catalogs. Three, Jose and I are almost eerily identical when it comes to where our preferences lie. Four, and this is just an initial hypothesis for future research efforts, I may simply be Jose’s English speaking doppelgänger, or vice versa. Or we share the same brain.
Lon Dumont is just one of many shared infatuations between Jose and me.
You may remember that Jose posted a consumer report here at neverland on his private match with Jonny Firestorm (if not, trust me, Jose was an extremely satisfied customer!). Jose and I have bonded in comments and emails over many overlapping infatuations, such as long-time neverland favorite Lon Dumont. We were both a little shocked at ourselves for admitting that we simply had to vote for Pete Sharp for best bulge over the notorious monster package of Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Goodman to you!) this year in BG East’s year-end best-of awards. And recently we agreed that the two of us need to personally welcome Gio Benitez to homoerotic wrestling with a 2-on-1 newsboy orientation. I don’t know what the Spanish word for “twins separated at birth” may be, but, yeah. That. For the vast swath of homoerotic wrestling fans for whom Spanish is a 1st language, and for those with passable Spanish, and even for those English speakers who want another look into the occasional translated post, you must bookmark and visit often La Sustancia. And tell Jose that his English-speaking doppelgänger sent you.
This week I had the great pleasure to enjoy my second-ever “dinner with Dumont.” Before you ask, 1) no, there was no wrestling involved, 2) Lon wore baggy jeans and a fantastically tight, long-sleeve t-shirt stretched awesomely over his bulging pecs, and 3) this time I got a keepsake photo of the two of us that is instantly in my top 5 favorite possessions. Back to the narrative, the long-time favorite homoerotic wrestler of mine was back in my neck of the woods and fulfilling fan fantasies by treating me to dinner. That’s right, stud puppy extraordinaire and perpetual infatuation of mine, Lon Dumont, picked up the tab for dinner! Honestly, I believe that most people who I know well enough to treat me to dinner would describe me as clever, witty, and an engaging dinner date. But sitting across the table from a homoerotic wrestling infatuation like devastatingly hot Lon Dumont, I turn into a stammering fanboy.
All I can see is devastatingly brutal Lon staring an opponent into quivering submission!
It’s like seeing double-vision. There’s this engaging, cool guy in front of me, and I’m also seeing Lon Dumont, body beautiful wrestling heel flexing his champion biceps in some lucky opponent’s awed face. Lon assured me that he has plans to be back through this way in a few months, raising for me the question of how many times would it take to have dinner with Dumont before I’m desensitized to the awe of it all and can be as engaging a dinner partner as I normally am (or like to think of myself as)?
Kid Vicious talks my language, except for the fact I’m completely tongue-tied.
It’s certainly happened to me before. On my pilgrimage to Pembroke, I got to meet and eat with some of the hottest wrestling heels to recur repeatedly in my fondest homoerotic wrestling fantasies on camera and in my imagination. I had questions prepared. I was planning on documenting the conversations to share, in my typical overdrawn and pedantic way, with all of you. And then there I was, talking to Kid Vicious, who was engaging, thoughtful, and downright philosophical in parsing apart the politics and polemics of homoerotic wrestling. In other words, he was talking my language! But there I was, stumbling over my tongue and finding myself with clinically diagnosable aggressively intrusive thoughts, in particular picturing KV stripped down to trunks and threatening to tear an opponent’s balls off.
Those forearms are HUGE!!!
Same lunch, same place, and Jonny Firestorm was the same way. Chatter, shop talk, the awkward revelation that Jonny doesn’t follow neverland closely enough to realize he was at one point my homoerotic wrestler of the month. So many opportunities to ask an insightful question, probe as the investigative blogger I imagine myself to be, and honestly, the only thing I could do was stare in awe at Jonny’s gargantuan forearms and picture him wringing the life out of hot piece of jobber meat.
Is it possible to graduate from fanboy to fellow human being? With images like this from Kid Leopard’s catalog, I’m not sure…
Not surprisingly, the worst was meeting Kid Leopard. By “worst,” of course, I mean, the most paralytic for me, a completely awestruck, drooling fanboy. KL was a fantastic host, showing me around the grounds, letting me see where the magic is made in the ring, on the mats, in the gazebo, in the wrestle shack. He was generous and engaging, and I felt like I couldn’t string together more than 3 words at a time. Is English my first language? Why do I suddenly have a 3rd grade vocabulary!? Holy fuck, I just kept swallowing hard, completely at the mercy of the image of KL prying apart some fabulously hot hunk playing on repeat from my memory.
Hopefully, I’ll keep getting opportunities to meet these men of my wrestling fantasies, and hopefully, someday, I’ll be able to pull off more than just the thick-tongued stammering of a star struck fanboy.
I don’t have to tell you that I have my favorites. My fancy does flit from time to time, but there are some regular objects of my adoration that stay firmly rooted in my homoerotic wrestling fantasies. I cannot stress enough how thrilled I am to report that two of those perennial fantasy men face one another in BG East’s recently new release Gazebo Grapplers 16. Lon Dumont, long-time holder of the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler and past winner of wrestler of the month, climbs out of the ring and into the Gazebo to face Denny Cartier, two-time homoerotic wrestler of the month and fanastically intense mat specialist.
Lon hits the mats and takes on muscle mat man Denny Cartier.
Seeing Lon barefoot for the first time just about does me in within seconds of this confrontation starting. My #1 pro wrestler turned bodybuilder turned homoerotic wrestler (not that I have a title for that, but really, who else is there to compete!?) is in his shaved head and insanely lean, competition ready form. And I kid you not, the fearless lightweight bruiser looks downright nervous stepping onto the mat! The undercurrent of vulnerability lying just beneath the surface of Lon’s irrepressible invincibility, paired his bare feet, are incredibly hot.
Denny is built for making men scream.
Denny is a work of art in a totally different way. Where Lon is aesthetically gorgeous, with a body crafted by a fine artist, Denny is functionally sexy as hell, with a body forged by a hardcore artisan. Denny is powerful, with muscles pounded into their bulging, beautiful form by years of amateur wrestling and MMA. There’s a luxurious thickness to Denny’s physique that stands in stark contrast to the whittled, diamond cut leanness of Lon. I’m enthralled by this contrast, and if I had to choose just one of these studs to worship, I think my head would explode trying to decide which.
Lon’s power and beauty leave Denny (and me) breathless!
I’m also blown away by Lon’s offense. He translates the mastery of a pro wrestling heel to the Gazebo mats with amazing skill. Confident, smirking Denny is leveled by sucker punches and knees to the gut. All of Denny’s flexibility and speed sort of whimper and writhe impotently early going as Lon grabs the momentum with both hands and throttles it with the tenacity of a badger.
When Denny’s mat expertise finally comes clawing it’s way on top, again I’m stunned by the way he displays the award winning physique of his screaming opponent. He repeatedly comes close to ripping Lon’s legs off at the hip, giving a stunning look at the bodybuilder’s quivering groin. And just to prove that he’s not in the least intimidated by the wall of deeply ridged abdominal muscles staring at him, Denny digs his elbow deep into Lon’s core, determined to shred the hunk’s strong suit.
Lon has to dig deep to knock the mat specialist off his game.
But regular readers will not be surprised by my deep satisfaction and arousal at watching Lon finally pull his gorgeously hot ass out of the fire and go ape shit all over the overwhelmed mat specialist. His fingers dig so deep into Denny’s luscious pecs that I’m left wondering is he’s going to claw the tattooed hunk’s heart out! Lon doesn’t just wring the most submissions out of his withering opponent, he sucks the life out of him, leaving stunningly hot and dangerous Denny melted into a pool of agony. I honestly didn’t know what to expect from this pro wrestler vs mat specialist on the mat match, but I didn’t expect the way Lon owns the Gazebo and stunningly weaves every natural strength he has into this novel setting. The attitudes are intense. After stunningly hot silence early on, the trash talk finally starts to pick up, including Denny getting stokes into some cocky crowing. Schoolboy pins with lovely packages delivered right to the doorstep of both stud’s chins transport me. I absolutely love this concept (pitting different combat styles against one another), and Denny and Lon sell it like I’d expect these perennial favorites to do it: all in, sexy as hell, and leaving me breathless!
Lon keeps bashing until Denny is literally left defenseless.
The voting for last Friday’s Fashion poll blew me away! As I mentioned last week, I tend to never, ever bet against Aryx Quinn in a fan poll of any type. The stud has an incredibly deep and loyal fan base, and as soon as he sends out a notice to rally his troops on Twitter (as he did yesterday to try to pull this poll out of the fire) his minions typically crush the competition. But not this time! By a vote of 126 to 121 (51% to 49%), Trent Blayze ripped those sexy-ass indigo trunks with silver flames off of Aryx and claimed the extremely hard fought title as “he who wore it best.” Is there a Trent Blayze fan club out there that I don’t know about? Because I’d like to! Just like I’d like to see the metaphorical fight for these trunks between Aryx and Trent turn into a literal, all in, rip-n-strip-in-reverse match between them. Lovely Aryx has been humbled two weeks in a row, so we’re going to put him on the bench this week to lick his wounds. And if he needs help with licking himself, I hope he’ll drop me a line.
Now that’s the way to wear a pair of trunks!
This week’s Friday Fashion poll was another find from fashionista Dan, who noticed that not only did Donnie Drake and Shannon Embry wear matching gear when they teamed up in Tag Team Torture 8, but about 7 years later, perennial favorite of mine Lon Dumont donned the same gear in Tag Team Torture 17. I have to guess mammoth side of beef Brute Baynard might have also donned the same trunks when partnering with Lon if his gargantuan glutes and quads could have squeezed into them, but alas, this is a three-way Friday Fashion poll for you. Aesthetically speaking, between Shannon, Donnie and Lon, who wore it best?
The graphic suffering that Shannon Embry (left) and Donnie Drake (right) experienced in these architectural lime green and chartreuse trunks was astonishing. The day they battled it out in Tag Team Torture 8, they were brutally schooled and pounded into oblivion. But today, in in a head-to-head-to-head battle of fashion, did Shannon wear it best? Did Donnie?Or was it wrestler-turned-bodybuilder-turned-bodybuilder wrestler Lon Dumont who yet again crushed both Shannon and Donnie by not only squashing like proverbial bugs his opponents in Tag Team Torture 17, but also wearing the same gear the best?
I’ve known of at least half a dozen homoerotic wrestlers who have attempted to leverage their following into marketing more than what fans can access through the main producers. Most of those entrepreneurial efforts, I’m sad to say, have fizzled before they really began. I think the skill sets involved in being an awesome wrestler don’t always coincide with a strong business sense.
All of that said, I was excited to sample the goods when Jonny Firestorm launched his website and advertised some customizable products available. Having met Jonny in person during my pilgrimage to Pembroke a couple of years ago, I felt like I could trust Jonny as a vendor, and I feel that trust was well-placed. I zeroed in specifically on the “Custom Video” option. I emailed him. He was very responsive, trading messages back and forth to clarify the scope of what sort of match it might be and how I’d like to customize it. Jonny went to great pains to get all of my wish list made explicit, because, as he explained, the last thing he’d want would be an unsatisfied customer who was disappointed.
It was an interesting assignment, to put down into words for Jonny Firestorm what would turn me on. For having overshared on this blog for nearly 5 years (!?!), it took me by surprise how conspicuous and vulnerable it felt to paint by the numbers with Jonny exactly the scenario, the drama, the particular holds that would make me want to invest a considerable sum of money. And I’m thrilled to report that Jonny was a pro to work with, putting me at ease, drawing my desires out with remarkable sensitivity for working through the medium of email.
Regular readers won’t be surprised that I enthusiastically requested that Jonny’s co-star in this custom match be long-time favorite homoerotic wrestler fantasy man of mine, Lon Dumont. When Jonny got back to me to let me know that he could book Lon, I was a little dizzy with anticipation. He gave me a time frame to expect the match to get taped. In this case, it was a window of about a month and a half when they would have at least one or two opportunities to be in the same place. The weekend that the match was taped, I knew it was happening, and Jonny got back to me within a few days to let me know he’d take another week or two of editing before sending it out. In the mean time, he satisfied my request for some preview pics (featured here) to keep my fever running.
Jonny gave me the option of method of delivery (download, DVD, hell, he even said he might be able to dig up an old VCR tape if I really wanted that). When the match arrived, my heart was pounding with a level of excitement that I haven’t really felt since the early days of my life as a consumer of homoerotic wrestling products, when I’d nearly faint with anticipation when a tape would arrive, light-headed every inch of the distance between the mailbox and my tape player.
I LOVE my custom Jonny v Lon match! They hit about 90% of the marks I’d asked for. They were both in outrageously phenomenal shape. In fact, Lon was so close to being on stage for his next bodybuilding competition that he was pretty well near starved. While that made for awesome physique watching, it did leave him noticeably weak and pretty quickly tired out. Jonny apologized for that before I even saw the match. For the record, he had let me decide whether they should tape before or after Lon’s competition, so it was my choice. That said, at least half of what turns me on about both Jonny and Lon is the sell, the drama, and the mammoth personalities, which were there in abundance, even if the energy level was a little low.
One of the Bard-fetish elements that I asked for was a lot of dialogue, including between-fall extended commentary as the winner of each fall flexed for me as he explained how it is he defeated his opponent. The boys made that happen in ways that crack me up and totally arouse me at exactly the same time.
The cost was considerable, and I feel like I got my money’s worth. The time, the talent, and the production costs of putting it together are immense, I’m sure. More to the point, owning my own fantasy translated to the small screen starring Jonny Firestorm and Lon Dumont is incredibly satisfying. I’m sure costs vary depending on the specifics requested (e.g., I really wanted this to be a ring match, so booking a pro wrestling ring I’m sure comes with a price). But Jonny delivered, and for what Jonny (and Lon) delivered, I’m a very happy customer.
Ironically, within a couple of weeks of me getting my custom video, another wrestling fan and regular reader of neverland contacted me to let me know about his experience with another of Jonny’s product lines: a private match. I’ll share his consumer report tomorrow…
Sharp eyes noted that there were some unreleased BG East photos embedded in my interview with Drake Marcos and Mason Brooks a couple of days ago. True enough, I recently received another super-secret parcel of behind-the-scenes and as-yet unreleased photos from an anonymous source who I will continue to refer to as “our man inside” BG East. The identity of this fan pleaser is unknown to me. I am under the impression that it is not Drake nor Mason, for example, however the way these photos are being passed to me makes it impossible for me to know where they actually came from. Some of them appear to be HD photos of yet-to-be released matches, looking like they were peeled off of the cutting room floor. Others are clearly candid photos that look like they’ve been taken with a camera phone. I keep expecting to hear about some BG East back office boy who was found at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico wearing cement galoshes, but apparently so far even the Boss has not sussed out the source or does not feel sufficiently compromised by the corporate espionage to take retribution. Either way, whoever you are, our man inside is my personal hero and still has a standing offer to be taken to dinner someday, should he dare reveal his identity to me. In the mean time, keep ’em coming, buddy!
Now, let’s pick through the latest scavenged treasures and lift a toast to our man inside! First, there was some hot smuggled swag that looks like it comes from a camera phone, capturing two of the sizzling young rookies I’ve been smitten by lately, Kayden Keller and Ty Alexander. Ty mentioned to me that he’s a gear-horse, and it looks like both he and Kayden enjoy hanging out in sexy, sexy, sexy gear between wrestling shoots.
The glimpse of facial hair and that hot ass convince me that this is Kayden “Hungry Like the Wolf” Keller.Same gear, same hot ass, so I’m pretty sure this is what Kayden Keller looks like on a Saturday morning when he’s hanging out watching his cartoons.Rookie Ty Alexander looks adorable despite the tough guy shades and stare over his shoulder. Hope we see that gear in the ring (on and off his body) soon.This one is particularly mysterious for lack of clues to the identity of this silky smooth body. Because of the context in which the photos appeared, and because of the aforementioned fascination Ty tells me he has with gear, I’m thinking that sweet ass belongs to him.That handsome face and those chiseled abs could belong to no one other than the hardest working hunk in wrestling, Cameron Matthews, apparently taking a break just long enough to soak in some sunshine.And here is Cameron back at work again, possibly on the set of Tag Team Torture 17, with the camera trained on his hot, athletic body as someone, behind the camera, snaps this shot.This looks like a shot from just before taping a match, with rookie Kayden Keller in the background, Jonny Firestorm looking board, and Drake Marcos daydreaming about finding someone he can beat.I haven’t yet seen Tag Team Torture 17, but I’m dying to see perennial favorite Lon Dumont in action again partnered with the humungous beast of a man here, Brute Baynard. I’m also making a mental note to ask Lon why he’s so enthusiastically pointing at Brute’s crotch.This looks like a between-takes snapshot from the taping of (my reigning favorite wrestler) Kid Karisma‘s Wrestler Spotlight match against Dev Michaels. How do I apply for the job of rubbing down these two sweat soaked muscle boys to aid in their post-match recuperation?Skrapper’s ass. Let me repeat: Skrapper’s ass. No more words need be said.Holy fuck, Skrapper is looking beefier and sexier by the minute! No wonder he had Trey Dixon quite literally begging for it by the end of their inferno-of-a-mat-match in Passion and Punishment!Who is taking these photos, and HOW CAN I TRADE LIVES WITH YOU!? This is now my screensaver. Skrapper just tapped on Kid Karisma’s shoulder to let him know that he’s in line to potentially knock the karismatic one off of the throne as my favorite homoerotic wrestler. Now let me unbutton those jeans with my teeth!
The hits just keep coming, as the wrestler who owned the #1 spot here at neverland almost all of 2013 dropped this little gem off for me and you. Well, at least me. As the self-appointed president of the Lon Dumont fan club, I consider myself included in Lon’s “me and mine.” As far as that goes, I’m ready to be Lon’s anything, anywhere, anytime, especially in 2014. I both pity and desperately envy the suckers destined to get their blocks knocked off by longtime friend of neverland, Lon Dumont!
As we celebrate the holidays and prepare for the new year, I think it’s of paramount importance that we keep in mind the things that truly matter (read: me, and my array of tights), and consider the plight of the less fortunate (read: the countless scores of homoerotic punks whose heads I will kick free from their shoulders in 2014). Allow me to wish the happiest of new years to me and mine.
You may qualify as part of Lon’s “me and mine” if you vote for him for best abs, best ring match, and/or best match of 2013, but honestly, of course, that’s up to Lon.
I’ve promised myself not to lobby too hard for any of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers up for end-of-the-year best of BG East “BGs” awards, but I will tell you that you need to vote. I will not attempt to sway public opinion. I will not attempt to sway public opinion. I will not attempt….
Sidelineland 