Author: wrestlebard

I'm a gay man with an active imagination.

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

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February brought us a hardy winter crop of homoerotic wrestling. As I mentioned a few days ago, Thunder’s Arena’s presentation of Ace Hanson punishing Antonio for trying to steal his truck in No Holds Barred 5 comes with the promise from Thunder’s that this is their hottest match ever, meaning Ace and Antonio are instant contenders for February’s homoerotic wrestler of the month title. Ace also did double duty in No Holds Barred 4 against Dallas, and Antonio did a second stint this month against Angel in Mat Wars 24. Z-Man and Cody Nelson get nominations for their prettyboy scramble in Thunder’s Mat Wars 24, and just under the wire for February’s offerings comes Cameron Mathews’ work to tame hilariously named Rocky Brick in Mat Wars 25. Thunder’s is definitely dominating the field this month when it comes to nominations! But Rock Hard Wrestling has a slate of nominations to offer, as well, all from the same tag-team match up: muscle studs Tyler Reeves and Max Powers and their doe-eyed prey Chris(tian) Cox(Taylor) and Jeff (Skip) Hollister (Vance). Can-Am is going to the well a second time with their gorgeous rookie workhorse, Landon Mycles appearing in the obligatory follow up to his debut ring match (which earned him a homoerotic wrestler of the month title), starring in their Hard Heroes storyline. Can-Am also is putting up Cameron Mathews (damn, that boy is busy… and has a beautiful ass…), Donnie Drake, and Rio Garza for Pro Bashed Triple Threat, and Aryx Quinn and A.J. Irons for the much-anticipated (by me) sequel, Pro Sex Fight 2. I liked the look of several Naked Kombat boys in February, including DJ making an entirely respectable bid to be the first back-to-back repeat title holder for his domination of thug Nikko Alexander; lean-n-mean rookie Adonis‘ masterful debut against Gianni Luca; and stunning slice of thick, thick beef, rookie Roman Rivers for getting those massive, hot muscles of his tamed and claimed by veteran Leo Forte.
Damn, even without any BG East new releases, that’s a hard and thick field of competitors. This is legitimately a tough call for me for all the right reasons this month. I’d like to spread the love far and wide, but, truth be told, this is not such a tight race that I could say we’ve got a tie. No, I have to put my finger on one homoerotic wrestling stud in particular who noses his way ahead of the competitive pack this time around with a truly inspired performance. February’s homoerotic wrestler of the month is, decisively…
Ace Hanson.

It turns out, I totally buy the marketer who dubbed Ace’s action on the mat with Antonio as Thunder’s Arena’s hottest. Story is, Ace catches Antonio trying to hotwire his truck… while it’s still in the garage. Characters are established immediately (e.g., Antonio isn’t all that bright; Ace is aggrieved). Thunder’s reports these boys at just about the same size, but Ace manhandles Antonio like Saturday’s laundry. Antonio, for his part, actually has a legitimate bid here for the homoerotic wrestler of the month title. It’s not because he wrestles particularly well or convincingly. In fact, this is a remarkably one-sided match in which Antonio is pounded, twisted, pried and prodded mercilessly, without putting up much of a fight at all. But damn it, he looks like he’s actually ashamed for having been caught trying to steal Ace’s truck! I pretty much buy that Antonio takes his humiliation like well-deserved penance for his sins, and a big man who sucks up his deserved punishment without whining about it is awfully hot. But then again, in this scenario of Antonio doing penance, that makes Ace the hand of God, and that’s just that much hotter.

Ace tosses 220 pound Antonio over his shoulder, walks him through the Thunder’s house, and dumps him on the mat. Ace looks hungry as he slips on his gloves and rips off his t-shirt and jeans, his huge, gorgeous legs and ass possibly never better displayed than in his neon green zebra-stripe trunks. Ace proceeds to dish out Antonio’s punishment eagerly, determined to teach the red-handed boy a lesson he’ll never forget. But what strikes me immediately here is that Ace’s mat work is… well… so fucking intimate! I mean, wrestling and full-contact fighting are always a hair’s-breadth away from full-on simulated fucking. That goes without saying. But with Antonio taking his punishment in shame and Ace eagerly climbing on top, pressing their faces together cheek to cheek while grinding his crotch into Antonio’s lower abdomen… damn.

With Antonio on his back, Ace has Antonio’s right arm in an armlock that looks like the poor thief’s elbow could snap at any moment. “Oh, yeah… oh, yeah….” Ace whispers as Antonio grunts in bursts of pain. “Come on… come on…” Ace whispers with just a hint of pleading in his voice. Shut your eyes, and you’d swear these boys were fucking. Wrapping up Antonio’s head between Ace’s thighs, Ace crows, “Put that head where it belongs!” Flexing his glutes rhythmically, he snarls, “Feel that!? Huh!?”

Ace takes Antonio to the brink of being sleepered out cold, and then rips the hunk’s board shorts off of him. Ace starts to taunt him. “You got no life in you! Why you got no life in you boy? You wanna just lay there like that? Huh!?” He folds Antonio up and sits his big, glorious glutes down in the truck thief’s face humiliatingly. In barely adequate metallic white posing trunks, Antonio can only grunt as Ace slaps his vulnerable ass and crows, “I got you all kinked up now!” And indeed, things take a fantastically kinky turn, as Ace marvels at his own handiwork, looking down at Antonio spread-eagled helplessly underneath him. Ace reaches down and claws the truck thief’s balls, and like me, Antonio gasps.

“Come on, show me a little bit! Let me see if you’ve got some muscles on you!” Ace demands of his suffering opponent. Antonio begins to try to flex in obedience, but Ace quickly snorts in disgust and shows Antonio his bicep… up close… demanding that Antonio kiss it… which he does. Mounting him again and locking up his arms, Ace whispers almost lovingly, “That’s right, just catch your breath. I got ya. That’s right. Right there, that’s right.” Ace thrusts his hips against Antonio’s abdomen, making his massive glutes quiver as Antonio grunts in time. Ace tortures Antonio’s nipple. He wraps up Antonio’s head in a figure-4 leglock, with Antonio’s nose crushed against the base of Ace’s scrotum. More ball claws (“Say ‘mercy’ or I’ll squeeze it off!”). He forces Antonio to worship his softball-size bicep (“See that! Huh? It’s nice, isn’t it.” Yeah, Antonio grunts. “Touch it! Touch it! Come on, grab it!”) and stroke and kiss his massive, flexed quads. Ace hoists (let me remind you, 220 pound!) Antonio up over his shoulder, shoving the thief’s face into Ace’s crotch with lingering, humiliating delight.
So, Antonio decidedly does not merit homoerotic wrestler of the month after all, really, because this match is entirely a testimony to Ace’s hard work and sweat. Ace taps into a wrestling kink sadist streak deep within him that takes awesomely homoerotic turns. Ace tells this story. Ace paces the action. Ace delivers an onslaught of humiliating punishment that surely, nearly, washes away Antonio’s sins. Ace is, without a doubt, my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month.

Asses Named

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So how did you do with yesterday’s installment of “Name That Ass?” These are 4 of the very top tier favorite asses in homoerotic wrestling, for my tastes. Wait. Did I say 4!? Yes, yes indeed. I’m am the sort of teacher that throws in trick questions.
Ass #1:
You got that one, right? This was from relatively early in Brad’s homoerotic wrestling career, with his body majorly chiseled and tanned, and with glutes of steel. His opponent here in Ultra Fight 2 is hottie Scottie Williams, who is also a major daddy turn-on for me. My favorite part of Scott’s body: that fantastically hot, hard, hairy chest.
Ass #2:
Brett Mycles.
As so often happens, I’d pulled up Brett’s ass moments before I saw that Joe had posted an homage to Brett Mycles over at Ringside at Skull Island. I swear, my subconscious and Joe’s have got to have a time-share together somewhere. These particular shots of Brett’s incomparable muscle ass come from his Wrestler for Hire match against Tony Z.
Ass #4… (this was the tricky one):
Brad Rochelle, again!



True enough, this was a trick question, with Brad showing up twice in this week’s game. But there’s so much Brad goodness to go around, and there are just never too many angles to admire on his legendary homoerotic wrestling physique. The shot  of his bare glutes, aided by KL giving beaten Brad a nasty wedgie, come from Brad’s Contract 3 match-up with then teacher’s pet, Aryx Quinn.
Ass #4:
Christopher Bruce.
For admirers of Chris’ shapely, round glutes (like me), you’ve got to own his big “comeback” match against the pit bull that is Cole Cassidy in Demolition 10. Cole obliterates the laws of physics with his torturous assault on the fabric of Chris’ trunks. Chris’ ass is wedgied so high I think you can catch a glimpse of those red trunks if you look closely down his throat when he’s screaming in pain. My last clue, that this hunk can speak Spanish, was a little naughty of me. You probably don’t think of Chris, first and foremost, as a Spanish-speaker. But I love the reveal of this trivial little detail in Chris’ mat match over at Can-Am against Mexican male model, Rio Garza for Hollywood Mat Battle 1. At one point, Chris unleashes some Spanish on Rio’s ass in between falls. Rio looks confused, like he’s not sure whether he should answer back in Spanish. Chris taunts him, and I’m in love with this bilingual homoerotic wrestling hunk veteran that much more!
And speaking of bilingual… Ass #5:
… was apparently not bilingual at all: Philippe Nicolas.
This hard bodybuilder appeared in exactly one match for Can-Am, Wolff’s World, and that’s exactly what it took to make me a desperate fanatic. Good God, that man’s body is unbelievably gorgeous. Handsome as hell. Muscles for days. Full-on naked wrestling in his one and only homoerotic wrestling outing. He dishes out some intensity as well as he takes it from another icon, Mark Wolff. It’s a tragedy of epic proportions that Philippe was a one-hit-wonder. Ah, but still, what a mind-numbing, sexy wonder he was.
No one played on line, but I hope you were playing along at home. Still, no one gets any gold stars or smiley faces, because you forgot to show your work. Keep studying. There will be more quizzes for you to show your stuff.

Name That Ass

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I’m not at all sure how fun “Name that Ass” is for you, but I enjoy it, so here’s the second installment. The concept is simple. Based on scant evidence, can you name the homoerotic wrestlers whose gorgeous asses are featured below? Since I received complaints that the inaugural “Name that Ass” last week was too tough, I’ll provide you more clues and a sliding scale of difficulty (in my opinion), starting with the easiest.
To start with, this week’s ass #1:
You can feel free to name either or both asses here, though I have to say that I’m particularly partial to the ass in purple. This homoerotic wrestling ass is legendary, with a following of epic proportions requiring an entire internet discussion group devoted to it (well, not exclusively to the wrestler’s ass, per se, but to the wrestler). This wrestling ass appears in a stunning 32 homoerotic wrestling products including approximately 36 wrestling matches and featuring mat wrestling, ring wrestling, outdoor wrestling, tag-team wrestling, underwear wrestling, 2-on-1 wrestling, as a face (always), as a jobber, as a heel… If you still need more clues, spank yourself on your own ass for not having been sufficiently inculcated into the iconography of contemporary homoerotic wrestling, and then picture these glutes with the word “SPEEDO” stitched across them. Seriously, this is a gimme. For advanced players, name his opponent here, the match, and the sexiest body part of that hunk.
Moving on to a slightly (just barely) more difficult challenge with ass #2:
This butt also belongs in the honored iconography of homoerotic wrestling, as far as I’m concerned, despite having a much briefer tenure in the business. This muscle stud took gay porn and gay wrestling by storm around nine years ago. Tabulating his work is entirely subjective (as are all statistics), so by my count I’m crediting him with being featured in 2 homoerotic wrestling releases, appearing in 3, and wrestling for credit in 3 matches. He ducked out of gay porn as abruptly as he appeared, working under a new name and attempting to re-craft his marketability into a non-porn fitness god. Sadly, reports are he died tragically young a few years ago. Haven’t put your finger on whose ass this belongs to yet? Again, another spanking for you, and I’m assigning you check with Joe at Ringside at Skull Island for some tutoring to get you up to speed, because, as always, Joe knows exactly what I’m thinking.
Now to ass #3:
This is the most wrestling exposure I can find of this tasty ass, with the helpful assist of another hottie to wedgie the hunk’s trunks for our pleasure and the wrestler’s humiliation. I’m not going to give you too much on this one, because if this ass is not quickly apparent to you, you need to be remanded a couple grades backward for more remedial homoerotic wrestling ass education.
Ass #4:
I say this is another iconic homoerotic wrestling ass that possesses both rare, fantastic beauty as well and possibly unmatched longevity. I’m aware of this ass’s work for three different promotions, though I think the ass itself may never have been as beautifully exhibited as in the match from which this pic comes. The opponent’s ass is world class, as well, as far as I’m concerned. That’s it. This is supposed to be the tough end of the game, so no more hints from me on this one… other than that this gorgeous, hardworking boy can speak Spanish. Okay. No more.
Ass #5 is unquestionably the most challenging entry in this week’s game of Name that Ass:
As far as I know, these marble carved glutes appeared in exactly one homoerotic wrestling release, arguably featured in one or two matches, depending on how you slice it (I say it’s one match). The rarity of appearance of this ass makes this admittedly highly difficult. It will almost certainly not help you to give you the hint that this stud was 5’8″ tall and reportedly around 178 pounds at age 25 when he wrestled his one and only homoerotic wrestling release. If you haven’t already recognized him, it probably also won’t help you to know that this homoerotic wrestler had the added disadvantage (or advantage, depending on how you look at it), of not understanding anything his opponent said during their match(es). While this final challenge for you this week might seem esoteric and random to you, I’ll justify myself by saying that even though this wrestler was a one-hit wonder, he was instantly and indelibly seared into my wrestling kink consciousness as possessing a body and a ferocity that drives me wild.
You may compare notes and work on your homework together, but your final answers should be in your own words. Extra credit for naming the matches and the opponents, and extra-extra credit for correctly guessing that I think is the sexiest body part of the boy in blue featured in pic #1.

The "Good," the "Bad," and the "Ugly"

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Muscle stud Kevin Shea appeared in two Wrestleshack matches for BG East a decade ago. I’ve recently been introduced to the highly entertaining match up of Kevin and champion sweat pig (said very, very lovingly), Bud Orton, in Wrestleshack 6.

Kevin is a sexy musclestud. The pics of him relaxed and smiling for the camera illustrate that he’s classically handsome with a retro stash that works for him (wouldn’t for just anyone, though). He’s got a mouthful of teeth, and you know how I like that. He’s gorgeously fit – simply beautiful to look at. Bud sees what I’m talking about instantly as he squares off against Kevin in the BGE wrestleshack. Like always, Bud is immediately bent on dominating his opponent, controlling and punishing him, as foreplay.

Something happens to handsome, hottie Kevin in this match, though. Perhaps Bud pushes him just a little too far. Maybe Kevin always nurses a raging beast just beneath the surface of his ripped muscle bod. But as this match turns nasty, Kevin’s face begins to contort. It’s a little tough to describe, but it starts as a sneer. Both lips curl. His stash stretches and bends with the contortion of his mouth. His big, beautiful teeth are bared like a rabid dog. His nostrils flare, and there’s a feral glaze that falls across his eyes. Kevin’s retro classic appearance that moments ago made him look as if he was ripped out of a 70’s Playgirl centerfold turns into something that I can only describe as ugly.

I’m not saying that Kevin becomes unattractive – not by any means, in fact. He matches Bud ounce for ounce in pouring sweat off of his gorgeous, hardworking muscles. His physique seems to get both harder and bigger with every move and counter move. But particularly when he opens his mouth wide and sticks his tongue out with a primal, grunting growl emerging from deep in his throat, he’s just fantastically ugly. Kevin looks like he wants to take a bite out of Bud, to make lunch out of one of Bud’s thick pecs. He seems suddenly dangerous, resentful, ferocious and unpredictable.

Most men would undoubtedly keep Kevin and his chomping teeth and lapping tongue at arm’s length, but Bud reacts just the opposite. Never one to be intimidated (never), the more primal Kevin becomes, the more intensely Bud becomes determined to wrap him up and tame him. Well, perhaps not “tame” him… Bud mounts and muscles this hunk around, Kevin’s tongue darting and lapping hungrily every moment, until Bud finally has the sweaty hunk entirely under his control. At that point, Bud becomes equally hungry, planting his mouth across Kevin’s gaping maw. Their jaws flex and pump, as if both chewing on a tough piece of steak. The wrestling is intense and hard fought, but in the last five minutes, who gives a crap!? Bud and Kevin clearly don’t, and neither do I.

Kiss It

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I haven’t yet seen the newest match from Thunder’s Arena, starring work horse Ace Hanson facing off with rookie Antonio. The members-only area has these tantalizing pics and the provocative tease that this bout, No Holds Barred 5, may be their hottest yet. Sure, sure. We’ve all heard this before from every company serving up every new release. It wouldn’t exactly be a good marketing strategy to say, “This match is of mediocre hotness and may entertain you moderately.” The marketing office comes up with cliches like “hottest yet.” It’s consumers like you an me that are really the only ones to be in a position to back up a claim like that, though.

But damn, I must admit, the teaser pics for this match make me think this could be the hottest yet from Thunder’s Arena. This is the power of pics and marketing at work, my friends. I am being moved to fill in the gaps between frozen frames in such a way that I’m aching to see the match that my imagination is writing for me based on the barest of outlines. Ace looks like he’s got something to prove against the gorgeous, meaty challenge of Antonio. The ostensible story is that Ace caught Antonio stealing his truck (really… the Latino guy was caught stealing the white guy’s truck… really?). More than one pic shows Ace rubbing his massive bicep in Antonio’s face, and if we believe what we read (I do, every word), Ace forces Antonio to kiss his bicep. There’s reportedly spanking involved. Beads of sweat can clearly be seen coursing their way down Ace’s forehead. Antonio looks like he’s a big, big boy unaccustomed to getting manhandled, finding himself manhandled. These are all elements of hot wrestling kink. This looks promising (ignoring the potentially racist overtones…).

I fully intend on watching this match when I’ve got the time to take the time to truly appreciate it. In the mean time, I’m just drawn to the obvious. Ace in a zebra print green speedo is inspired. Those huge, round, squeezable glutes of his should never, ever, ever again be wrapped up in bicycle shorts. The sight of his bare thighs wrapped around Antonio’s head should require no further argument. Screw the square cuts and mid-thigh lycra.

And if we’re encouraging what’s working, let’s all raise a cheer for Ace putting those glutes to optimal use by squeezing Antonio’s head often and sitting on the rookie’s face. For anyone, this is humiliating. For someone finding his face crushed beneath the slabs of beef that are Ace’s glutes, though, this has also got to be seriously punishing. It’s also making me crazy to trade places with Antonio. If I could write this script, Ace would also require Antonio to kiss his ass, but I’m not expecting Thunder’s to venture into that territory. Please, please, please, Thunder’s, prove me wrong.

And, frankly, I’m a jonesin’ quite a bit to trade places with Ace, as well. Sweet man alive, Antonio is stunning in still life. The very brief white briefs leave nearly nothing to be imagined. Some major manhandling of a boy this big looks like a muscleboy on muscleboy bonanza. Often, Thunder’s strays too far into fratboy-horsing-around territory to completely satiate me. But if Ace is working out some convincing domination with a need to humiliate, punish, and tame the big rookie, illustrating that he’s the muscle stud not to be fucked with… this very well could qualify for Thunder’s Arena’s hottest yet. I’ll let you know what I think when the still life comes to life.

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Topic: Barely clothed, hot bodied men engaged in physical combat for sale. No, I’m not talking about the homoerotic wrestling industry… but I could be, couldn’t I? Rather, I’m referring to another delightful installment of male models posed as fighters. Specifically, I’m celebrating Tomislav Maržic and Ivor Jurjević modeling for Lodoli Underwear (via Homotrophy).

I’m finding little else on either of these pretty boys other than multiple references to this photo shoot. I believe Ivor has a Facebook page, and all signs appear to me to be pointing to these boys, like the underwear, being Croatian.

If I’m right, Ivor is the tattooed hardbody on the right, which makes him my favorite in this imaginary bout with Tomislav.

I love the pec tat in particular… and his thick arms and shoulders… and his powerful thighs… and the heft in that pouch.
But, let’s be clear, being my favorite does not at all necessarily equal being the one I want to see win. Looks to me like Tomislav has his eye on using Ivor’s pouch like a speed bag, and I for one, am ready to curl up on the couch with some popcorn to watch a tatted muscleboy beatdown. Tomislav has a bit of a Cliff Conlin feel about him in this match-up (sans fur). He may not be the prettiest, but he just may be the meanest, which could turn out to make him the sexiest.
Ah, hell. This is a win-win, regardless. As long as Ivor’s six pack gets pounded, his pecs get clawed, and perhaps his pouch takes some punching, I’d buy either of these pretty, pretty boys coming out on top.
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Is it wrong that I find this incredibly sexy?

Of course, in my mind I easily photoshop out the woman and replace her with me. That hand on Sam Witwer’s bloody thigh is my hand. I’m the one perched cozily between his knees. I’m the one that’s been sucking the life out of every inch of his beautiful body. I’m the one that’s been squeezing his sweet, hard pecs with my right hand and massaging his balls with my left hand shoved underneath the bottom of his underwear.

Oh wait, that last bit actually doesn’t happen in this scene from Being Human via SyFy, at all. But you know me, I re-write scenes in my imagination all the time. The sexy vampire shows up in my homoerotic fantasies repeatedly, I note. I don’t find blood, in and of itself, erotic. But Sam, covered in stage blood, slipping and sliding on the bathroom tiles in an orgasmic feeding frenzy all works for me well and above what Sam’s barely clad body, by itself, does. Should this disturb me?

The same scene (really) from the original BBC version brings to mind the unavoidable comparison, and I’m hard pressed to say whether it’s Sam Witwer or Aidan Turner I’d rather be sliding across the blood soaked bathroom floor with. I hate Aidan’s floppy, needs-to-be-shampooed-more-often hair, so that’s a plus in Sam’s column. Sam also has a harder body. But damn, Aidan’s dark, hairy body along with the Irish accent evens the score in a blood pumping heartbeat. This is so much closer a call than I’d have guessed a few weeks ago. Only one good way to really sort this out, of course. These two suckers simply must fight it out, and there’s no place that will work other than a bath house arena in Seattle with boys in towels grunting and cheering them on to a final, decisive, explosive decision with copious amounts of body fluids.

Of course, if there’s a battle of beautiful boys for whom I’d be willing to overlook a little homicidal blood lust, whether it’s Aidan or Sam coming out on top, he’d have men of my fantasies waiting their turn for a shot. Slather Alexander Skarsgård in any liquid, including blood, and it’ll only make me swoon that much more for the giant Swede. Alexander is undefeated in the fictional wrestling competition in my imagination, and he plans on staying that way.

For all my infatuation with vampires, I still haven’t seen Vampire Diaries. It sounds bad from a distance. Still, Ian Somerhalder as a sexy, naked vamp is an inspiring picture. Ian got his ass beat hard in his only appearance in my wrestling fiction, but he put up a really good fight. I could imagine that he’d be nursing a hunger for some redemption.

And speaking of redemption, Sean Faris got beat bad and humiliated overwhelmingly in his only appearance in my wrestling fiction, losing hard and nasty in bare-assed action with Brad Pitt (specifically, with Brad’s bare ass smothering Sean’s smarmy face). But Sean joining Vampire Diaries makes me give him a second look. Perhaps Sean is primed to bite and claw his way back up the ladder of success. Of course, Brad also played a smoking hot vampire as well, so he may be primed for a return to action.

We’ve seen a Werewolf Rumble in my homoerotic wrestling imagination. Sooner or later, there’ll have to be a Blood Sucker Beatdown. Once the bitter yoke of work-related writing projects eases up, I’ll be posting more fiction.

Asses Named

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I think I must study homoerotic wrestlers’ asses more compulsively than you. Or, perhaps, you just played yesterday’s game of Name that Ass at home, rather than drop a comment here. In either case, topher and Jose D. get smiley faces on their homework for excellent effort, with Jose D. getting an extra star on his for correctly naming (if tentatively) 4 out of 5 of the asses. For the record, and for you playing at home, here were the correct answers:

Ass #1 belongs to the top contender for the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler – non-pornboy: BG East’s Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you! and extra credit to Jose D. for mentioning this fact). I figured this might pose a challenge because, seriously, it’s an uphill battle to try to tear your eyes away from Mr. J’s mammoth package to appreciate his remarkably beautiful assets elsewhere. I think the best shot of his fantastic, sweaty, hard muscled glutes show up when he’s stripped to his thong in his match with Rocco in Jobberpalooza 7. True, Mr. J is completely bare-assed at the hands of Brooklyn Bodywrecker in Mr. J’s Wrestler Spotlight, but this is mostly smoke and mirrors, and I remain bitter at being personally taunted by BBW at the end of this bout (well, not me personally, but all of us suckered into snapping this piece up to see Mr. J’s naked piece… doesn’t happen). Mr. J pulling out some thonged ass domination on Rocco, for my taste, is the best for ogling his carved, round muscle glutes.

Ass #2 from yesterday’s game belongs to Rock Hard Wrestling rookie sensation, Travis Storm. I like Travis. A lot. His teeth attract my attention first. His got a major mouthful of them. A close second favorite attribute of the rookie his is sweet, round ass. Jose D., wracking up extra credit after extra credit, correctly noted that yesterday’s pic #2 comes from Travis’ delightful match against the butt-fantastic likes of Cody Nelson. Travis’ deep-seated camel clutch on Cody is like a clash of Titans, as lucious mounds of muscle press against luscious mounds of muscle. I will pay to see more of Travis’ gorgeous ass, and there are two ways of interpreting that statement, and both are equally accurate.

Ass #3 from Name That Ass belongs to another homoerotic wrestling rookie desperately in need of another match: Can-Am’s Landon Mycles. Jose D. gets partial credit for naming Landon, but only tentatively. There’s nothing tentative about Landon’s hot, hairy, blond naked ass in Pro Sex Fight 1 against Michael Vineland. If this pornboy does not turn up naked and soaked in sweat in the ring again, this will be a crime against wrestling kink nature. Landon was a one-time favorite homoerotic wrestler of the month, and I have my fingers crossed that someday he’ll have another crack at the title.

Ass #4 was again, tentatively and correctly identified by Jose as belonging to my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy, Trent Diesel. Damn, I love Trent’s ass. Sure, I love Trent’s everything, but that ass is so aesthetically pleasing. He seems to like to require his vanquished opponent’s to bury their faces deep between those gorgeous cheeks, and while I’m not really up for that with just anyone, Trent would definitely be on my list of boys to rim. Occasionally, Naked Kombat takes the boys into the shower for “round 4,” which is the context for this shot of Trent soaping up across the shower from Ryan Rockford who just beat Trent’s tantalizing ass in oil. Ryan may have come out on top in NK points, but Trent is by far the most entertaining element in this, and nearly all, his matches. Long live the king.

The final ass in my inaugural Name That Ass game (there will be more… I had fun, whether you did or not), stumped even Jose D. Indeed, this ass is featured over at Thunder’s Arena. But it does not belong to Z-Man or Ace Hanson. No, I’d trade even their fine butts for this one. This ass could belong to none other than Mr. Ass-tastic himself, Big Sexy. I first cottoned on to the thrill value packed into Big Sexy’s amazing ass when he showed up as Santa for Thunder’s Arena’s holiday novelty match. In head-to-toe red spandex, there was just no mistaking that the athletic glutes on this man were world class. I’ve since gone fishing through many of the Big Sexy archives, and for my tastes, his #1 asset is displayed most pleasingly in his 2010 appearance against Z-Man for the Halloween Pumpkin match. Holy hell.

So how did you do? Did you beat Jose D.’s score? Perhaps more clues will be in order next time around.  Till then, you’ll have to practice. Watch lots (and I mean LOTS) of homoerotic wrestling, paying particular attention to the fine, fine, muscle asses you see. Good luck.

Name That Ass

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I’m but a poor imitation of my betters. That said, here’s another concept I’m ripping off of another blogger, with my own particular wrestling kink twist to it: Name that Ass.

In addition to borrowing liberally from Squarehippies’ Guess this Hairy Chest, I also want to give a nod to the classic game show Name that Tune, which surely gets credit for this derivation of a derivation. I loved Name that Tune. Contestants would battle over how few musical notes it would take for them to recognize some muzak version of a popular song. I sucked at the game, but I loved it. There was always that delightful “a-ha!” moment when the full melody was played, and you could appreciate those precious few, bewildering notes in their all too familiar context. With that in mind, I’d like to zoom in on a handful of truly inspiring asses, rather out of context, and challenge you to see whether you can… name that ass.
First up…
 this pair of stunningly gorgeous glutes makes me stop and take a second look every time.
Second…
this white v black boston crab actually stars two awesome asses, but you only really see the stunner in white in this pic. For extra credit, you can name the muscle glutes in black, as well.
Third…
These lightly hairy cheeks desperately need to appear in more homoerotic wrestling action, as far as I’m concerned.

Fourth…
This ass is beautiful in the shower, on the mat, in oil, or on a pool table (okay, so that was too much of a hint…)
Fifth, and last…
…this muscle ass has made me gasp in awe many times since I discovered it.
So, have fun. Some of you who are as obsessed with homoerotic wrestling will likely find this far too easy. If this poses no challenge to any of you, perhaps I’ll give this another run and try to make it really, really tough on you… even closer close-ups, even . You’re welcome to put your answers/guesses in a comment, or just keep the tally yourself and check tomorrow for the answers.

The Kid Club

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A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I was celebrating “Porn Sunday” with a fresh, new purchase in support of the fine, hardworking people who bring us high quality wrestling kink. Okay, so it wasn’t all philanthropic on my end, I admit. It’s also true that I was craving, in particular, a taste of a sweaty, leopard thonged, red-headed muscle boy.

Wait, leopard-thonged!? That’s right. In my newest purchase, Sexy Showdown 5: Florida Fun, red-headed hardbody Kid Karisma is sporting a snazzy leopard thong. When Len Harder first gets a glance at the thong under Kid K’s trunks, Len is living large and in charge abusing the hell out of Kid K’s balls. Fascinatingly, Kid K desperately points out that he had “special permission” from the Boss to don the leopard print. For Kid K’s sake, I hope he was being honest about that.

My Porn Sunday 2011 purchase pleases me. Kid Vicious’ match against Skrapper is astonishingly sexy as only Kid Vicious can deliver. But for today, I’d just like to marvel at the wonder that is Kid Karisma’s match against Len Harder.

Kid K entertains me more with every match I see him in. He’s putting the erotic into the homoerotic wrestling gig more and more explicitly all the time, and I’m loving it. He has a twisted, sadistic sense of humor that, paired with his “Teutonic god-like” physique (nicely put), makes him some of the highest quality wrestling kink on the market these days, I think.

Did I mention the red hair? That’s a rare piece of gorgeousness to be admired. From someone with a bit of Scot in my genetics (accounting for red facial hair on my otherwise brunette composition), I frequently have a taste for a red-headed gym bunny with a homo-fratboy-feel about him and a gleeful delight in dominating and humiliating an opponent. In other words, I frequently jones for some Kid K.

This match is closer than you might imagine (or at least it was for me), primarily due to Kid K’s overconfidence. If I had a body like his, I’d be overconfident too… at all times… in all ways… Len looks downright adolescent in comparison with Kid K’s hard muscle tone, massive pecs and shoulders, fantasy ass, and powerful legs. But Len likes to dominate and humiliate as well, and every fraction of a second that Kid K gets distracted by his own success, Len manages to make the “Teutonic god-like young man” (really, nicely put) pay. Ass-to-face, crotch-to-face, claw-to-crotch, claw-to-pec, bearhug, inverted bearhug, forehead-to-forehead, mouth-to-mouth… the dark intimacy throughout this mat romp is non-stop and intense. I’ve never scene a crotch-to-crotch battle quite as literal as theirs, but indeed, hands behind their backs, Kid K and Len take turns plowing each other’s crotches into one another until one of them is the clear winner of that fantastic exchange.

Frankly, I must admit, when I first saw Kid K, I questioned the wisdom of letting him claim the moniker of “Kid.” Another big, stunning boy tried to fill those shoes before and found himself out the door under the weight of disappointed expectations far too soon (as far as I’m concerned). But just like the dubious, dangerous wisdom of Kid K in a leopard print thong, I think Kid K has established himself as a risk-taker, a nasty tool for delivering delightful punishment, and a legitimate member of that exclusive fraternity, each known, deceptively, as “Kid.”