Category: Lon Dumont

Precisely My Kink

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I’m perpetually irritated by the presumption of politicians who propose to speak on behalf of “the American people.” As soon as I hear the phrase, “the American people” come out of the mouth of a politician, I have an instant, low boil rage that starts. Even when politicians who speak on behalf of “the American people” say things that I agree with, I’m irritated by the arrogant, self-serving rhetorical device of glossing over the diversity of opinions, priorities and passions of 300 million in order to construct some nugget of partial truth that is fundamentally nothing more than pithy propaganda. I’ve toyed with the notion of refusing to vote for any politician who speaks on behalf of “the American people,” but within the past 10 years, that would mean that I’d never vote for any candidates for national office, and that just doesn’t seem right to me.
The purpose of this rant is really just to reiterate a point that I make often around here: even within the relatively cozy confines of the homoerotic wrestling kink “community,” a multitude of tastes and opinions and passions define us as diverse, contradictory, and complex. Anytime I see someone argue about what “gay wrestling fans really want,” I stop reading, because it’s a fundamentally flawed premise that undermines any argument that follows. If at any point I’ve ventured into that territory of speaking for “us all,” then you have every right to call me out on my hypocrisy. But despite any unapologetic moments of intellectual discontinuity, I strive to reflect on the pages of this blog my tastes, my kinks, my passions and predilections. Come along for the ride if you like, but I really know only what I like, not what you like.
For example, I’m infatuated with Lon Dumont. While I’ve heard from several readers who are similarly fanatical about Lon, I’m not under the impression that all of us in the homoerotic wrestling kink corner of the internet are unanimously enraptured with the sharp as a whip, witty, competition bodybuilder with many years of pro-wrestling experience. Some of you probably didn’t have the same knee-jerk, raging arousal to learn that Lon would be appearing in a catalog 87 new release from BG East. Speaking for no one other than myself, however, the news a couple of weeks ago of a Lon Dumont wrestling match was profoundly titillating.
Gut Bash 8, turns out, completely strokes my kink! I’ll wax ecstatic about the sight of Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) trapping Eddy Rey in the ropes and squeezing his head between Mr. J’s bulging thighs some other day. For today, I’m going to focus in on the marathon of gut pounding torture of my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler – non-pornboy, and the muscle-ox that is his opponent, Joe Robbins.
The existential dilemma posed by Lon v Joe is age-old and intimately wrapped up in the calculus of aesthetics and masculinity in the male form. Lon is a gasp-worthy work of art. He’s perfectly proportioned, cut like a Tiffany diamond, and virtually flawless. I say “virtually” only to give a nod to Lon’s concession that Joe has incomparable legs, which Lon doesn’t even pretend he can compete with. But Lon is unwilling to concede that his sliced to the bone abdominals and obliques are indisputably superior to Joe’s, which, less face it, are flat and fit but nowhere near the perfect shape of Lon’s. Joe, on the other hand, dismisses Lon’s abs for being just about aesthetics, and instead argues that his are superior because they “serve a purpose.” Form versus function, beauty versus beast, grace versus power… there are a lot of ways to approach it, but in the end, it touches on primal questions of the nature of masculinity, making this match explicitly about who’s got better abs, but implicitly about who’s got bigger balls.
Joe is always menacing understated, at least in everything I’ve seen him in. His voice rumbles at an octave lower than some canine’s can hear. It isn’t necessarily apparent at the beginning of the exchange just how personally Joe takes Lon’s rapid fire, cocky swagger and insistence on his superiority. As they take turns, all gentlemanly and self-restrained, delivering fists into each other’s mid-sections, the irritation on Joe’s face slowly grows. It’s not until Lon’s final punch doubles Joe over and sends him stumbling backward, clearly in pain, that we see with crystal clarity how Joe really feels about this entire situation. He’s pissed. He’s really, really pissed.
As Lon predicted in his exclusive interview on this blog a few months ago, the one thing that can pose a serious challenge to Lon in a 1-on-1 is a massive freak of mother nature about 100 pounds bigger than he. Joe is precisely that massive freak of mother nature, and Lon is just never going to weather Hurricane Joe for the long haul without an act of God intervening on his behalf. This match quickly reminds me of some of the classic “endurance” battles of homoerotic wrestling days gone by, where the match is all about watching how much punishment one man can take. The pinfall or the submission is less pertinent than the seconds of agony ticking away between them, each one bearing testimony to the man on the bottom’s tolerance for pain.
With wrestling savvy, salesmanship, and world-class conditioning, Lon can take a whole lot of punishment. He manages just a few rallies, but momentum never stays Lon’s way for long. But what exponentiates Lon’s sexiness in Gut Bash 8 isn’t just the erotic gold of watching a gorgeous hunk suffer; it’s that he takes it for so long. He makes Joe work for every gasp and wince and pleading submission. Joe is coated in sweat by the end of this story, because Lon makes the big, big boy work for it like someone with a the weight advantage that Joe has over Lon should never have to work. 
The hints from earlier in the year were that Lon has an invitation to appear in more BG East bouts, perhaps this time sporting a full head of hair, even harder muscles, bigger quads, and a thicker back. I don’t know if Lon is still on tap to show up in another wrestling fantasy for me to be infatuated with. But if he is, I’m pulling for the powers that be to unleash Lon on boys who are, say, within 30 pounds of his weight class. Watching Lon take on big boys is definitely entertaining, but I’d love to watch him work over a cocky musclehunk somewhere near his own size. Lon has a commanding presence, a totally packaged persona, and top-notch delivery of precisely the wrestling repertoire that turns me on. More Lon may not be at the top of everyone’s wish list, but it’s at the top of mine!

Enraptured

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While a California nut job has garnered unfortunate attention for predicting that the world will “end” today, I have to reluctantly admit that I’m having a profound religious experience at this very moment. I haven’t been “raptured,” but I’m enraptured by yesterday’s release of the latest BG East catalog. So much eye candy! Surely there’s some divine inspiration bringing together the likes of coverboy handsome muscle stud, Marco Carlow, and Dev Michaels with BG East-style motel wrestling. And speaking of divinity, I’m powerfully provoked by the promising return of the lickable body of Angelo Blanco in lip-smacking, dicks out, asterisk-punctuated Masked Mayhem 8. I’m aching to see Jonny Firestorm and my former homoerotic wrestler of the month, Bobby Horton, sorting out who’s badder, now that I’ve read Joe’s preview review. But it’ll probably come as no surprise that it’s Gut Bash 8 that’s made the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel’s Messiah ring in my ears.
I’m on board with anything I can get my hands on starring my favorite homoerotic wrestler – nonpornboy, Lon Dumont. If there were ever abs screaming out for gut pounding testing, it’s the competition-quality physique of sexy Lon. Sweet Jesus, that body brings a tear to my eye! Lon’s sporting a shaved head, so if I’m tracking his heads-up from my interview with him a couple of months ago, this match against Joe Robbins must have been taped sometime last year.

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Behemouth 6’2″, 240 pound Joe Robbins stacked up side-by-side against crystal cut, 5’7″, 145 pound Lon is a heaven-sent scenario. I’ll take some big v small wrestling fun anyday, but when “small” is the physique of a podium-topping competitive bodybuilder, this just opens up incredible possibilities of homoerotic wrestling paradise.

Holy shit! Lon in still frame getting an ab-workover by big Joe is perfection. So I’m not sure how to upgrade on perfection when it comes to Lon’s razor sharp wit and fast-on-his feet cocky banter forged from years of pro-wrestling. More of Lon is always an answer to prayer, but gut pounding from a beasty Joe is pure, unmerited, divine grace.

Ah, hell, but wait… Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) shows up on the other side of this Gut Bash 8 package. And speaking of packages, Mr. J has got to have made a pact with the devil, to be that handsome, that gorgeously fit, and having that much heft to have to stuff into skin tight trunks. It’s no wonder that Mr. J is the top contender in my book, to be in line to challenge Lon for the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler – nonpornboy. 

Damn, damn, damn! While I still say every Mr. J new release ought to repeat the storyline of Matmen 21 (Mr. J challenges an amorous admirer to wrestle for the opportunity to earn the reward of full contact bodyworship of Mr. J), I won’t turn my nose up to Mr. J putting his “20 pack” on the line in a gut pounding ring battle with big Eddy Rey.

The sight of Mr. J squeezing Eddy’s face between his muscular thighs as Eddy is tied up in the ropes makes me think all sorts of delightfully guilty thoughts. One of those thoughts is that this ought to be one of the rides at that homoerotic wrestling theme park that I’ve been fantasizing about lately. I’d wait in line to take Eddy’s place here, that’s for certain. Mr. J is one of the best at making being bad look so, so good. He’s a devilish, sneaky, powerful, egomaniacal hunk who is always chomping at the ass of my favorite homoerotic wrestler- nonpornboy, Lon for my loyalty. It’s like Lon is there, flashing an ab-crunching double bicep pose on my right shoulder, and Mr. Joshua has one hand cradling the back of his head and the other stuffed down his trunks (rearranging his manhood), on my left shoulder.
And here I am, right in the middle, in pure heaven!

Crowning a New Champion

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It probably hardly needs mentioning, does it? I was so completely charmed by my interview with Lon Dumont that no one could be surprised to learn he’s reclaimed his title as my favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy division).

Since I stumbled across Rusty Stevens’ resignation from porn, the serious competition has been in the non-pornboy rankings, as far as I’m concerned (no disrespect intended toward Trent Diesel, of course). Joshua Goodman’s (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) last two matches have been stunningly erotic, even while still including no actual nudity. When Mr. Joshua decided to put bodyworship on the table, and invite a gym bunny admirer to wrestle for the pleasure of owning Mr. Joshua’s gorgeous body, that nudged him right over the top of inaugural title holder, Lon. But after having the opportunity to actually chat with Lon, there’s no doubt about it. He’s managed to body slam Mr. Joshua back into second place.

Mr. Joshua v Chico Valdez – Ring Rookies 2

I think it was the moment that Lon thanked me for noticing the fine way he fills out his wrestling trunks, that the title technically changed hands. He just has a graciousness about him with regard to my insistent adoration of his granite-carved physique that’s astonishingly sexy. As is abundantly evident in both the interview and Lon’s matches, he’s quick-witted and smart, and I wouldn’t be all that surprised to see him make an appearance competing on Jeopardy (and likely kicking ass there, as well). Graciousness and smarts as accessories to a competition bodybuilding body with years of hardworking wrestling experience? Hell, yeah! Lon Dumont is definitely the undisputed title holder in my book.

Lon Dumont v Terry O’Daly – Demolition 14

The only blemish on Lon’s BGE career thus far is the tag team loss he suffered at the brutal hands of Donnie Drake and rookie sidekick Doug Rand. I had intended on asking Lon more about this cloud hanging over his match record, but I was completely charmed by his passion for sharing his life with rescue animals. So, let me tally this us once more… graciousness, smarts, granite body carved by Michaelangelo, veteran wrestling savvy, AND sensitive, socially conscious animal lover!? My, oh my… Mr. Joshua, you’ve got your work cut out for you.

But back to Lon’s only match loss, the question I’d planned to ask Lon was about his tag team partner in that fated match, Chace LaChance. Personally, as a firmly established Lon fanatic, I’d think Lon would have had better odds of coming out on top taking on Donnie and Doug single-handedly. I thought that Chace brought almost nothing to the table other than his sweet, go-go boy muscles (which, let’s face it, fall into the category of “cute” next to the sliced and diced hardness and definition of Lon), his five-o-clock shadow, and that metaphorical target painted on his pretty, all-over-tanned ass that said, “Kick the shit out of me!” In fact, my take was the Chace was a net competitive loss for the LaChance/Dumont side of the equation (though he does bring plenty of “pretty” to enjoy).

Chace LaChance

Chace has been getting that sweet ass of his beaten left and right in his short tenure with BGE, so I don’t know if he’ll even have the audacity to show up again, particularly after his abject humiliation in a second appearance against Donnie Drake, where Donnie manhandles and mauls both Chace and Brent Salvo simultaneously and single-handedly (only further proving my point that Chace was clearly the weakest link when he teamed with Lon). But if Chace is still sniffing around for more BGE action, then I think Lon ought to re-open that wrestling school of his that he mentioned (and a can of whoop-ass) with Chace LaChance as his first pupil. Corporal punishment would definitely be standing orders.

Lon Dumont v Eddie Rey – Fantasymen 32

I suppose, when it comes right down to it, I’m not sure who wouldn’t make Lon look good. Perhaps Joe Robbins could fit the bill that Lon suggested might earn a victory over him, considering Joe is, indeed, right around 100 pounds heavier and over half a foot taller. But as I said to Lon, I pity any wrestler who thinks that’s the only thing it will take to defeat him. When it comes to who might be “foolish enough” to accept a forced-to-flex challenge from my favorite bodybuilder battler, I’d nominate Kid Karisma (who would NEVER believe that his muscles could be inferior to anyone’s), or perhaps a green rookie who needs initiated into the ring, like Attila Dynasty. Of course, it goes without saying that there’d be just about no bigger battle of egos than a Lon v Mr. Joshua face-off, but I still say that Mr. Joshua should devote himself exclusively to matches that involve wrestling amorous admirers intent on worshipping his body and tapping his ass, if they can defeat him. Much more of that from Mr. Joshua is his best chance at clawing his way back on top of Lon’s rippled abs and reclaiming the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler, non-pornboy division.

Someone is, at this very moment, complaining that Lon granting me an interview has unjustly swayed my rankings. Let me just emphasize that these favorite homoerotic wrestling rankings are always MY favorite homoerotic wrestling rankings. This is always about who’s turning me on and entertaining me the most, and hands down, that would be Lon these days. Of course, if there are any other contenders who’d like to even the playing field by giving me an interview, I’m more than happy to oblige! That said, it’ll be tough to charm me quite as much as my reigning homoerotic wrestling non-pornboy, Lon Dumont.

Making Somebody Happy

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Last night I had the great pleasure of getting the chance to interview one of my very favorite wrestlers, Lon Dumont. The interview offered some sweet surprises, including Lon’s connection with another prolific homoerotic wrestler and frequent subject of this blog, as well as an upcoming non-wrestling production that we’ll have an opportunity to appreciate Lon in, in addition to his plans to tape some more matches with BG East in the coming months. As you’ll see, below, Lon is one class act and a really good sport. And taking my hint about how much I obsess about his physique (almost as much as it sounds like he does!), Lon sent me some awesome photos of him working out and competing on stage, which I’ve included here (along with some of the pics from his BGE work) with the interview transcript.


Bard: So, what are you up to right now?
Lon: Watching Rocky III on AMC.
Bard: That’s fantastic! Who do you identify with in Rocky III?
Lon: (Laughing) I’ve always identified with the Stallion. Stallone is my idol.
Bard: Excellent. I don’t see you as a Mr. T sort of guy.
Lon: Maybe not, although Clubber Lang and I both train hard and enjoy our solitude.
Bard: Very interesting! Are you up for some questions now, or would you like to finish up with Mr. Balboa?
Lon: (Laughing) I’m ready, my friend…
Bard: I have to say again, to start, thanks so much for being willing to field some questions. This is a huge thrill!
Lon: No problem!
Bard: So, tell me that I’m not wrong in concluding that you showed up at BG East as a seasoned wrestler already. No rookie has the right to have the ring presence and savvy that you had in your first BG East match.
Lon: You would be correct. I was a professional wrestler for over eight years, and logged over 500 matches on the East coast in the states and Canada.
Bard: I’m not surprised in the least. How did you get connected with BG East?
Lon: I’ve been buddies with Cameron Mathews forever. I was his original pro wrestling trainer (though I had no right training students at the time!), and he and I really came up through the indy wrestling world together. Cameron had suggested BG East to me a few times, but I wasn’t comfortable with it. Certainly not because of what was expected of us in the matches, or who purchases the DVDs, but simply because I wasn’t in the shape I wanted to be in to appear in such a state of undress. I worked out at the time, but didn’t have the physique I do now. My wrestling singlet covered up my love handles quite well, something I wouldn’t be able to do with BG East!
Bard: Holy crap! You and Cameron have worked together? He’s a busy, busy boy!
Lon: He certainly is that, yes! Cameron and I have probably wrestled one another three or four dozen times, now.
Bard: Damn, that would be something I’d like to see. Perhaps we’ll see you two in action through BGE sometime.
Lon: Perhaps so.
Bard: Since you brought up your physique, and since that’s one of my favorite topics, how long have you been a competitive bodybuilder?
Lon: The day after my 33rd birthday in 2009, I started dieting for my first contest, which took place in June of that year (on the same day as my dog’s birthday, coincidentally). My most recent contest was in August of 2010, and I’m training hard for my next competition in October of this year. Thus far, I’ve been in five contests.
Bard: The photos I’ve seen recently of you on stage are truly stunning. What keeps you motivated for such a demanding sport?
Lon: What can I say? I have a truly obsessive personality! Perhaps someday I’ll obsess about something that’s more financially rewarding! For right now, though, bodybuilding is a huge part of my life. I just love the sport. I love seeing changes in my body. I love breaking past old barriers, and I love competing on stage. Dieting for and finishing out a show is the most satisfying feeling I can explain. I just love it.
Bard: Very cool. So what would you say is the best part of your physique at this point in your development. I’ve got my answer in mind, but what do you think?
Lon: Everybody makes a fuss about my abs, so I’ll have to go with those!
Bard: I, also, make quite a fuss about your abs, but I have to admit I was also thinking about the very fine way you have of filling out your trunks. But that’s probably not what gets you a 1st place on stage, eh?
Lon: (Laughing) I’m afraid not, no! But thanks for noticing.
Bard: Truly my pleasure (truly). So speaking of your awesome muscles, a reader of my blog wanted me to make sure and ask you if you have any plans for another forced-to-flex match with BG East. Your defeat and forced-to-flex humiliation on Eddie Rey made a really, really big impression on a lot of us.
Lon: Actually, yeah, I think that’s a great idea! I’ll just have to find someone foolish enough to accept my challenge. That shan’t be easy, ya’ know…
Bard: You’ve certainly taken a couple of big boys at BGE by surprise! I suppose they’ll all know that you’re coming, now that you’ve established the level at which you compete. I realize that you’re still pretty new with them, but do you have your eye on any of the BGE wrestlers that you’d like to get your hands on?
Lon: Not necessarily. I’m an equal opportunity humiliator! I regularly embarrass much bigger guys on the bodybuilding stage, so it only makes sense I should do it in BG east, as well.
Bard: Very nicely put. If you ever need suggestions, I’m full of them. So from what BGE has released of your work, I believe that you’re undefeated in 1-on-1 matches. Congratulations! What do you think it would take to defeat you 1-on-1?
Lon: Other than a freak act of mother nature? Hmmm, good question. Perhaps someone with a 100-pound weight advantage might have better luck, but besides that I just don’t see it happening.
Bard: Again, very nicely put. And I’d still feel a little sorry for the guy who thinks that a 100-pound weight advantage is all it will take. It seems to me that you have a knack for beating your opponents up “psychologically” just as much as you do physically. Would you say that “psychology” comes into play when you step into the ring and size up an opponent?
Lon: Absolutely. There’s also the fact that I’m flat-out more intelligent than nearly every guy I enter the ring with! I mean, Eddie Rey? Come on. The guy looks pretty, and all, but I wouldn’t want to see him on Jeopardy anytime soon.
Bard: I was just about to say that you seem quite a bit smarter than your average bear! Do you have any go-to approaches that you like to use when you climb into the ring (especially against one of the big boys)?
Lon: Nah, not really. Most of these guys are so dim-witted it doesn’t take a great deal of forethought. I might choose to isolate a body part, like I did with Eddie Rey, or just out maneuver the guy like I did Terry O’Daly. I’m also in better condition than most, so I can be pretty hard to tire out!
Bard: Again, I can certainly believe that. So what’s going through your mind when you see one of these guys flexing? I mean, with the competition quality physique you craft, what do you make of all the flexing we see in wrestling these days?
Lon: Well, some of the guys look great, and many are genetically gifted to be much, much larger than I. However, I have to wonder what some of these guys eat. Truly, some lack any sort of discipline whatsoever. As soon as they choose to go three months avoiding anything with flavor, then they’re free to flex!
Bard: That sounds like hard-earned advice. So, since I’ve managed to turn the conversation back to your body, do you mind me asking what your relevant measurements are? BGE tells us your height/weight… any other details you can offer?
Lon: Sure, I can do my best! What do they list my height and weight at?
Bard: They say you’re 5’7″ and at some point you were 150 pounds.
Lon: Hmmm, I suppose that’s pretty close! I think my height–quite literally–is 5’6-15/16″. My bodyweight fluctuates (it comes with the territory of bodybuilding), but 140 is probably closer to the truth. Of course, when you’re well-defined, you look larger than you actually are. As for measurements, my chest is about 40 inches, my waist goes as low as 28, and my upper arms are about 15 inches (16 when they’re pumped up). My thighs are around 24, and my calves and neck are both around 15 inches, as well.
Bard: I don’t typically find numbers sexy, but those are all working for me! Speaking of what works for me, a lot of my readers and I like to talk about “wrestling kink,” that is, wrestling as a turn on. What do you think about having a cadre of fans turned on by your work in the ring?
Lon: Eh, what the hell? What’s wrong with that? I think we’re WAY too uptight about “kink” and sexuality within our society; that’s one area in which I really wish we followed Europe’s lead a bit more. Whatever people get turned on by is fine with me, provided everyone is adults, and everyone is consenting! Why other people get bent out of shape about such things is beyond me. I’m just glad I can make somebody happy.
Bard: Speaking on behalf of a whole lot of us, you do, indeed, make us quite happy. You’ve been really generous with your time, so I hope I’m not pushing it if I ask just a couple more questions?
Lon: Absolutely not, my friend. I’m just chilling out on the couch with my dog!
Bard: That was going to be my next question! I couldn’t help but note that you mentioned that you have a dog (and that you know his birthday). I have a theory about guys who own dogs. I think when a guy owns a dog and really understands the responsibility that comes with being the “leader of the pack,” it makes him that much sexier and more skilled in knowing how to dominate in the wrestling ring. Any life lessons or wrestling lessons that you think you’ve acquired from being an alpha dog?
Lon: Well thank you! Animal welfare is a big, huge deal in my life. It has been for a few years now. I share my life with one dog and one cat, and I have rescued a few animals that live with my parents, too. Companion animals mean a ton to me, and always will. And I’m only an alpha dog with my canine companion! When I’m in the ring, I don’t need to act like the Big Man On Canvas (hey, that’s pretty clever!). In fact, I probably wrestle more like a cat than I do a canine!
Bard: Fascinating! Tell me more about why you think you probably wrestle more like a cat.
Lon: Because I wrestle arrogantly, aloofly, and always land on my feet. Unlike a dog, I couldn’t care less what my opponents think of me!
Bard: (laughing) I can totally get that. I’d put in a plug not to sell short the “wrestling like an alpha dog” angle too quickly, though. The way you schooled Eddie Rey, trained him patiently, and gave him a little “reward” for learning his lessons was totally alpha dog, in my mind. Every dog has to know his place in the pack, and you certainly taught him and Terry theirs!
Lon: (Laughing) Very true. I suppose I did.
Bard: So you have your next bodybuilding competition planned for next autumn. Anything else in store for you in the coming year? You mentioned to me that you think you may be on tap to tape some more matches with BGE?
Lon: I will definitely be wrestling more matches for BG East this year, yes. Fans will notice a little something different about me, though: a full head of hair! I recently took a leap of faith and stopped shaving my head for the first time in twelve years.
Bard: Holy crap! It’s probably a good thing you prepared us. While I have to admit that I particularly like your shaved head, I will keep an open mind, and I suspect that I’ll find plenty else to appreciate about your appearance.
Lon: Well, thus far I’ve gotten pretty much universal praise for the new look. Frankly, I think the hair makes me look a bit younger. But hey, I’ll let the fans judge!
Bard: Knowing the crowd I run in, we’ll be full of opinions to offer.
Lon: This year I’ll also be “starring” in a direct-to-DVD horror movie, one that might wind up featuring another BG East talent, as well. The filmmakers are hoping they might be able to work out a deal in which BG East would be the official distributor of a “director’s cut” of the film in which some additional footage features me in a way many BGE fans might truly appreciate! However, whether that’s something BGE might be interested in, I have no idea. That’ll be between the powers that be, and the makers of the film. Still, the movie will be something for fans to look forward to.
Bard: Oh… my… God. This is such a fantastic tease. I’m a big horror movie fan, and, as is obvious, I’m a huge fan of yours. The two things together could make me blow a blood vessel. I’m pulling for a BGE distribution and a gander at the additional footage of you that “BGE fans would appreciate.” Just those words will be haunting me now, damn it. However it’s distributed, you’ll let me know the instant we can get our hands on it, yes?
Lon: Yes, of course! It’ll be filmed this year; as for its exact release date, we’ll have to wait and see.
Bard: Fantastic! I just want to say again that you truly are a classy guy. You are as generous as you are smokin’ hot and devastating in the ring.
Lon: Thanks so much, man. The pleasure was all mine.
Bard: I hope I didn’t distract you too much from Rocky III. I can tell you how it ends, if you need me to.
Lon: (Laughing) We’ve moved on to Rocky IV. No WAY he beats Ivan Drago! The Russian is indestructible…
Bard: Ah! Dolph! Now there was a man of my fighting dreams!
Lon: (Laughing)
Bard:  Enjoy. I’ll be in touch soon!
Lon: You got it, buddy. Thanks again.

Starting Strong

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We’re barely a week into the new year and I can already predict, with absolute certainty, what one of my top 5 favorite moments of 2011 will be. In fact, I may need to start a favorite moment of the decade category for this. One of my favorite moments of the year is going to be, without a doubt, being contacted by Lon Dumont, my current #1 contender for the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler – non-pornboy division (and inaugural championship title holder).
Lon dropped me a note last week, letting me know that he’d run across this blog and had appreciated my kind words about him and his outstanding wrestling with BG East. He also offered me the tantalizing tease that he’s expecting to wrestle some more with BGE this year. The promise of seeing more of giant-killer Lon climbing into the ring and squeezing agonizingly long, gasping submissions out of his shocked opponents is already making me a little breathless!
It’s hardly surprising to learn that Lon is a competition bodybuilder. A friend recently sent me some pics of Lon on stage, displaying his award winning physique. The sight of his bronzed, oiled, shredded, vascular marvel of a body makes my eyes hurt, probably because I’m just not blinking as I stare in wondering adoration. Totally worth it.
While Lon’s physique in still-frame is simply, undeniably, a work of art, I continue to maintain that his ring persona is what makes him a standout object of homoerotic wrestling kink gold. At 5’7″ tall and 150 pounds, Lon might seem to be at a disadvantage when he climbs into the ring with likes of 6’1″, 210 pound Eddie Rey or even 5’10”, 185 pound rookie, Terry O’Daly. But as his undefeated record in 1-on-1 competition attests, he’s got precisely what it takes to bring the big boys to their knees. You could tell from the moment that Eddie Rey climbed into the ring with Lon in Lon’s debut BGE match, when Lon challenged the muscle hunk to forced-to-flex stakes and called towering Eddie “Sprout,” that Lon had the cold confidence and the ring savvy to zero out whatever size advantage his opponent might enjoy. Frankly, I almost feel a little sorry for Eddie and Terry by the end of their encounters with Lon. With all of their illusions of crushing a “little guy” shattered, and with Lon flexing his competition-quality muscles in their faces humiliatingly, I catch myself almost feeling a pang of pity for them. Happily, Lon is as pitiless as he is devastating, and I’m left with nothing but lustful awe for the big, big man packed into a tightly shredded, striated, gorgeously muscled, compact body.
Lon’s only blemish on his BGE record thus far is his tag team loss wrestling alongside of rookie Chace LaChance, falling to the dirty tricks of big bruiser Donnie Drake and his rookie sidekick, Doug Rand. Now, this is just my opinion, but I think go-go boy Chace deserves some harsh retribution for his part in earning the giant killer a tick in the loss column. Lon hasn’t mentioned anything to me about it, but it just seems to me that if anyone has earned some harsh feelings from Lon, it’s that far-too-prettyboy poser.
Of course, Chace only has a 2 inch height advantage and about a 5 pound weight advantage over Lon, which seems like a complete joke when you take a look at Lon’s absolutely masterful dismantling of muscle stud bigboy, Eddie Rey. So, true, perhaps a grudge match with Chace might not be as competitive as a typical Lon Dumont wrestling clinic, but I’d put money on the odds that an obliterating go-go boy beatdown would be every bit as entertaining. Seriously, I’d put money on that!
Taking a page from the trailblazer, Joe at Ringside at Skull Island, I’ve approached Lon about the possibility of an interview to post here. He seems as generous outside the ring as he is relentlessly dominating inside the ring, so we’ll be scheduling that soon. I suppose I should make it clear that personal communication from a top-tier wrestler-obsession of mine shouldn’t tip the scales at all in his direction as I dispassionately weigh the current rankings of my favorites. By no means should Lon get any favoritism from me. That said, if I were Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!), I’d stop staring at my massive balls and look over my shoulder, because there’s a 5’7″ bodybuilder with a vicious streak coming up fast from behind! Watch for more from me here, and watch for more from Lon at BGE this year. In the mean time, I’m going to go buy some Visine, because I still can’t take my eyes away from those stone-carved abs!

Year in Review – Favorite Moment #3

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My third favorite moment in blogging in 2010 came from my innauguration of a non-pornboy division in my ranking of favorite homoerotic wrestlers. I’ve been blathering for more than a year about my favorite pornboy homoerotic wrestlers, but I decided a few months ago that the non-pornboys needed a division all their own. Up against the likes of Mitch Colby, Derek da Silva, Rusty Stevens and Trent Diesel, the wrestlers who stay shy of pulling out their cocks and unloading a climactic, gasping explosion on top of the loser of the match beneath them are at a severe disadvantage in the magnitude with which they stroke my homoerotic imagination. But they’re entirely delightful and entertaining and provocative in their own way, and so a nonpornboy favorite homoerotic wrestler division was created to share some love with them as well.

Lon Dumont was my inaugural champion nonpornboy. Good God, that man turns me on. He’s got a pro polish wrapped up in one gorgeously muscled, shredded to bits, tight little package built for taking big boys by surprise and kicking their asses.



Lon’s instant top contender was the BGE boy with a wrestling portfolio nearly as massive as his balls: Josh Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!). Lon’s history with BGE makes him look like a rookie, but there’s nothing rookie about his command of the ring and his opponent’s bodies. Mr. Joshua, on the other hand, has been one of the most prolific BGE battlers, and he seems to be going stronger now than ever, showing up in 3 different releases this year, and looking as stunningly muscled and outrageously in love with himself as ever. From go, it was a close call between Lon and Mr. Joshua.



So perhaps it should be no surprise that Mr. Joshua caught up with Lon and smacked his fine, athletic ass into second place just a few weeks ago. That’s my #3 favorite moment in blogging in 2010: the game changing performance of Mr. Joshua in Matmen 21.



I thought Mr. J’s performance in this summer’s release of Demolition 14 was fantastic new territory for him. He not only slapped his pendulous balls down across Austin Raines’ lips, he taunted the overmatched scrapper with talk of teabagging. Still, there was something missing from Demolition 14, something I still longed to see in a Mr. J match (other than an unobstructed view of his legendary credentials).



I have nothing against innuendo, mind you. I’m (obviously) a major fan of implication and allusion. But I’ve been waiting for too long for a Mr. Joshua match that just says it straight out: Mr. Joshua both desperately needs and undeniably deserves to be the object of some lustful admirer’s body worship. Randy Stanton shows up in Matmen 21 and cuts right through the innuendo. Randy wants a shot at Mr. Joshua’s rippled abs, beautiful pecs, and sweet, shapely ass, and he’s willing to wrestle for it.



Sorry to spoil the suspense for those of you who haven’t seen it yet, but in the end, Randy isn’t quite up to the task. That said, he puts up a surprisingly enthusiastic fight. He strokes Mr. J’s washboard. He claws at his pecs. He digs his fingers into Mr. J’s round ass with a lustful exhilaration that comes straight from my crotch. When Mr. Joshua finally turns the corner, perhaps having to work a little harder for it than he’d expected, he racks Randy across his statuesque shoulders and claws at the rookie’s crotch for his trouble. Mr. J doesn’t just crush his suitor, he beats him senseless and then lingers in the delight of humiliating him with a body-by-body comparison of their relative physiques. Randy’s a hot slice of tasty goodness, but he’ just no match for stunning size and aesthetic proportions of Mr. Joshua.



I LOVE this storyline! This completely gives an outlet to my unrequited lust over Mr. J’s erotically charged nonpornboy body. I’ve complained about Mr. J playing it coy for quite some time, but his performance in Matmen 21 shuts my mouth (metaphorically… you know I’m seldom at a loss for words). The concept of a veteran nonpornboy putting his body on the line against a hard, amorous hunk jonesing to turn him into a pornboy is just brilliant. It finally gives a full helping of the homo to match Mr. J’s quality entertainment wrestling credibility.



Not only did Matmen 21 earn Mr. J the title as my new #1 favorite homoerotic wrestler – nonpornboy division, it also solidly ranks as my #3 most favorite moment in blogging in 2010. I’m ready to pre-order any future match with Mr. J bringing another hot and randy hunk back to the matroom to see if he’s finally met his match and found the stud worthy of dominating and taking full possession of the priceless treasure that is Mr. Joshua’s intoxicating body. It’s the awesome depth of entertainment Mr. J has produced in the past and the promise of more fantastically hot, high stakes wrestling in the future, but most of all, it’s Mr. Joshua’s game changing performance in Matmen 21 that earns my #3 most favorite moment in 2010.

Tag-Team Torture

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I’ve been getting more requests lately to collaborate on new wrestling fiction. Teaming up is one of my favorite genres in homoerotic wrestling, so this just seems to have all sorts of great potential.
I’ve been told by someone who should know that tag-team wrestling in the homoerotic genre is pretty difficult to manage. I don’t know if it’s coordinating schedules, having enough time to generate some entertaining chemistry, managing four bodies flying through the ring without any permanent damage… I could imagine any and all of these things could be obstacles to more tag-team homoerotic wrestling products.

And I suppose that some of the same potential pitfalls and obstacles to getting 4 hunks in the ring to tell one story may also have parallels in the work of co-authoring original fiction. Schedules, working chemistry, making sure no one gets a permanently injured ego… the give and take and intrinsic balance required to collaborate and co-author requires finesse. I firmly believe that not everyone can partner up with just anyone. And even when words get on the page, there’s that hard to define element of chemistry that just has to be there or else it isn’t…  All the moving parts might work, but if partners just aren’t in sync, it may just fall flat.

But when it works, teaming up can open up a lot of possibilities that are closed to me when I’m devoted to my singles career (so to speak). Teaming up to take on a big, big project that would probably defeat either one of us alone is a good example. Wrapping our minds and creative juices around a complex, yet hot property to double-team it into groaning submission can be a sweet, sweet victory. Of course the opposite is true as well. When you partner up to tackle the behemoth project and find that both your asses are handed to you in defeat, it can be just that much more humiliating.

Fortunately, my experiences with tag-teaming on writing projects has been pretty fun and, I think, successful. I like to think that I carry my end of the work load and that I’m pretty easy to work with. And so far, the partners I’ve stepped into the imagined ring with have been delightful to team with. When a new collaborator pushes me in a new direction, introduces me to new characters, and brings their own arsenal of innovation and creativity to a project, well frankly, that’s hot. Watch for some of these projects to get polished off with a double-teaming three-count and published to the Sidelineland wrestling fiction site in the coming weeks.

Imagining My Way Out of Hell

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You don’t need to know the details, but suffice it to say that I am, at this very moment, stuck in my own little version of hell. I’m far from home, stuck in a motel room, with nothing but basic cable and an internet connection to keep me relatively sane.
Suddenly, I’m a HUGE fan of HGTV. Of my limited entertainment choices at this moment, I’ve settled on some mindless home improvement television. I know that I have HGTV at home, but I’m not sure where it is on the dial. A glimpse of Lynn Kegan on Designed to Sell convinces me I need to reprogram my Tevo.

Damn, this red-headed carpenter is stunning! And he’s built like a fratboy porn star. In fact, I swear he could wrestle as Andrew Lane’s brother, and I’d buy that in a second… particularly if it involved some forced stripping and muscle worship. My, oh my… Andrew…

and Lynn….
Hell, yes.

So another hour of HGTV goes by, and I discover Chip Wade on Curb Appeal. This bald headed muscle stud carpenter is way, way, way up my alley!
Damn, look at those arms! Chip needs to make a tag team appearance with Lon Dumont as shaved-headed, no-mercy, muscle partners. I can just see him wrap those guns around some chumps skull and crush him to tears in a side headlock.

Paired up with the giant killer himself, the master of execution and my #1 homoerotic wrestler – non-pornboy, Lon, and I’d be in heaven, rather than the temporary hell in which I currently find myself.
While we’re at it, let’s toss these two tag teams in the ring together! Lynn and Andrew facing down Chip and Lon… someone’s going to get beat like a red-headed stepchild, that’s for certain!

Narcissus

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According to Greek mythology, Narcissus was a devastatingly beautiful and proud mortal man who disdained those who loved him. When Narcissus glimpsed his own reflection in a pool, he was captured by the sight of his own beauty and slowly died unable to tear himself away from adoring his image.
It’s an ancient tale that survives today because it says something that’s timeless. Narcissus is a morality tale, most genuinely, warning against excessive pride and self-worship. On another level, it’s a story about the way things are at the heart of the human condition. We praise beauty. We idolize and idealize the beautiful. We worship beauty, and those in possession of an overabundance of socially reinforced standards of beauty fail to surprise us when they are clearly wrapped up in their worshiping within themselves that which others prize, praise, and worship in them.
Confession: I’m a sucker for a hardbodied narcissist who’s completely in love with himself. Sadly, that’s true in my personal life, but more to the point, it’s definitely true when it comes to the homoerotic wrestling that I dig. Self-worship is a succinct, well-trod tale in the wrestling ring. The opening scene of the narcissist soaking in the gorgeousness of his own reflection sets the table for countless battles. Sometimes the challenger arrives equally as self-adoring, and the match ensues as each adonis defends his claim to embody the pinnacle of beauty. The banter that centers around, “sure, you’re not so bad, but take a look at me!” works to establish the characters, define the terms of the contest, and begs the question of who the objective observer would select as the most beautiful of the beautiful. A delightful alternate ending to this tale is when both beauties are so evenly matched that slowly, eventually, the competition turns into mutual muscle worship.
Sometimes, the narcissist is met by a challenger less concerned with his own self-worship and more incited by contempt to attack and tear down the work of art before him. The battle is its own morality tale, determining the superiority of the aesthete or the athlete. When the phrase “pretty boy” pops up frequently in the ring, we see the psychological struggle to determine who is the superior man: the one with the stunning proportions and classic beauty, or the one built of rougher stuff filled with determination to mess up his opponent’s beautiful face. This story works swinging either direction, as far as I’m concerned. I’m no less a fan of the pretty boy beatdown than I am of the I-told-you-so narcissist victory.
The narcissist in the ring is a character that typically works for me. It’s probably a profound character flaw in me (which would explain a lot of my dating history), that I find a man deeply in love with the sight of his own beautiful body incredibly arousing. Now I’m completely engaged by a muscled stud who poses proudly to awe and intimidate his opponent (and you and me). But the hot side of beef who is stunningly beautiful, knows he’s stunningly beautiful, and just a little awed and aroused by his own stunning beauty, is a character I’m tragically drawn to.
I think it’s no coincidence that both Lon Dumont (my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler – nonpornboy) and Mr. Joshua Goodman (top contender for Lon’s title) are fantastic self-worshipers. Lon’s compact, competition-ready musclebod is sufficient to give me whiplash, but Lon’s delight in looking at himself propels him to the heights of homoeroticism in my book. Mr. Joshua is probably even more the epitome of the narcissist enamored his own gorgeous, crafted muscles and overabundant endowments. Win or lose, Joshua’s role is the stunning muscle stud who genuinely, passionately adores his own fantastic body and is ready to deploy his painstakingly toned muscles to demand from any opponent their concession to his superior beauty. It’s not hard for me to imagine that when Joshua’s eyes are closed in that moment just before orgasm, the image that fills his imagination is his own classically proportioned naked body.

I believe my pathological arousal for a self-loving hardbody probably also explains why Rafe Sanchez manages to keep rising to the surface of the homoerotic wrestling matches in my cue. Any and every match that I’ve seen with Rafe prominently features a healthy dose of Rafe self-love. Even when his opponent’s engage in Rafe-worship, it seems to only fuel Rafe’s arousal even more as he marvels at every beautiful inch (and he has plenty of inches) of his hot, tight body. And the more Rafe adores his gorgeous proportions and flexed muscles, the more I’m entirely at his mercy.

Even short of full on, characterological narcissism, just a lingering gaze a muscled wrestler gives his body is a major plus in my book. A classic babyface hero who can’t help but pause and marvel at his own massive bicep (Mitch Colby, I’m looking at you) is astonishingly erotic. In fact, I’d say that what gets plenty of people in the world diagnosed with a personality disorder is the very same thing that puts at least 75% of the homoerotic into my favorite homoerotic wrestling. So bring on the self-worshiping body beautiful muscle hunks in awe and obviously aroused by the sight of their own stunning bodies… I just can’t help myself.

A League of Their Own

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I think of myself as a booster of the industry that produces homoerotic wrestling products. I get caught up in brand loyalty wars more than I care to, but when it comes down to it, I think the more creative, kinky minds producing homoerotic wrestling, the better. I’m more a booster of explicitly homoerotic wrestling than otherwise. Not to say I’m only kinked up by explicit sex wrestling, but rather I prefer companies that explicitly identify themselves as homo and erotic. There are a lot of companies producing wrestling for you and me who pull their marketing punches. I get it, that there’s a market for relatively closeted homoerotic wrestling. Hell, I was there myself a long time ago. But I think of coded, closeted homoerotic wrestling as more a transition object than the heart of what revs my engine these days. So these days, I think of wrestling with merely implied homoeroticism as sort of second-tier fun.
But all of that is just lead up to my unveiling a new category of favorites that I’ll be tracking from now on. For many months, I’ve been charting the title defenses of my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboys. Mitch, then Derek, then Mitch again, and now Rusty have been sitting pretty atop the rankings. I’ll be posting on the match-of-my dreams head-to-head match up of champion Rusty vs. #1 contender, Mitch next week. In the mean time, as of today I’m starting to track a new championship division. It isn’t just the pornboys I love (though, let me reiterate, I LOVE the wrestling pornboys). So starting today, I’m ranking my favorite homoerotic wrestlers in the non-pornboy division.
The distinction here is that gorgeous muscle studs who go the full monty and crank off some onscreen cum shots are in a league of their own in my affections. But the boys who typically keep their cocks in their trunks still merit some virtual lovin’. If at any point there’s a dispute about who should show up in which division, my line in the sand is the cum shot. Any hot hunk on film working off a load has to compete with the likes of Rusty Stevens, and Rusty appears ready to beat (and eat) wrestling pornboy ass anytime.

Without further ado, allow me to unveil my top two rankings for homoerotic wrestlers in the non-pornboy division:
Sitting very, very pretty on top of the dais is the stunningly tight little package who made my jaw drop from the moment I first saw him last autumn: 5’7″, 150 lb, Lon Dumont.
I don’t pick up a lot of buzz about Lon, so I don’t know if I’m the only one whose buttons are so invariably pushed by him. The attraction for me exactly 50% body, 50% performance (and I rank them both a 10 out of 10… you do the math). He’s earned his way into claiming the inaugural championship title of non-pornboy extraordinaire. I’d donate the lower half of my liver for Lon to jump divisions and pound one out in a schoolboy pin on top of Rusty’s pecs, but in the meantime, Lon’s at the top of the new non-pornboy division for me.
His number one challenger is also no stranger to the pages of this blog. 5’10”, 180 lb, Joshua Goodman, (that’s Mr. Joshua to you), would likely be significantly offended to come in second place in anything. Considering Mr. Joshua’s behemoth package is often not quite entirely contained in his trunks, he’s a hairsbreadth away from jumping divisions. After aching for this to happen for years now, I’m finally conceding that Mr. Joshua is likely never to join the pornboy ranks. Still, he deserves major credit for his extremely entertaining performances and the hours upon hours of enjoyment he’s given me. Lon is a relative rookie on the homoerotic scene in comparison to Mr. Joshua. Mr. Joshua certainly outweighs the lightweight bodybuilder significantly. Mr. Joshua has earned his chops in victory after defeat after victory, whereas Lon remains a bit untested against the established headliners. All that suggests to me that Lon has one hungry, indignant, cocky hardbody on his tail (and that’s an image that lingers in my imagination).
As I’ve said, the more homoerotic wrestling in the world, the better. Both Lon and Mr. Joshua are BG East exclusives, as far as I know, but I’m happily scouring plenty of other wrestling operations for new challengers to toss their hats in the ring. There are plenty of deserving candidates. But for today, for now, let me place the crown of my favorite homoerotic wrestler, non-pornboy division, on the fantastically shaved head of Lon Dumont. And let me give a virtual slap on the ass to runner-up Mr. Joshua. I’m looking forward to seeing them both in plenty more matches to come, performing their hearts out even if keeping their trunks on.