
BG East has some seriously sadistic sickos working for them, and I’m not sure whether I mean that in a good way. Here’s the story: I woke up this morning, and when it occurred to me that today’s is the 15th of the month, I eagerly checked for the BG East Arena update. Truth be told, I look forward to the Arena updates probably a little too much, each 1st and 15th of the month. I get a little disregulated if the updates are late. Today, though, I was thrilled to see that the update was already posted early in the morning.

I felt a little light-headed with excitement when I saw posted an advance peek at catalog 82’s Tag Team Torture 12, because my most recent wrestling boy crush, Lon Dumont, was there. Lon is clad in brief, shiny orange trunks that match his gorgeous tag partner. If anything, Lon looks even more shredded than in his BG debut in Fantasymen 32. I am instantly enraptured at the sight of Lon’s swagger, his polished pro strikes, his timing and tight, shredded body. I checked out a couple of the photos, and then decided I needed some morning caffeine to truly appreciate the beauty of this wonderful find.
When I came back to my computer several minutes later with tea in hand, Lon’s tag match was gone. True, nearly as exciting, Tyrell Tomsen is now up in another tag match, apparently from the same tape. Tyrell is in his competition bodybuilder shape. He’s gorgeous. I’m thrilled to see more of him. But what… the… hell… happened… to… Lon!?!?

You cruel, cruel bastards! Don’t get me wrong. I love your work. I love the quality and quantity of your work. I love your excellent customer service and quick ships. I feel like we’re old friends, considering how much correspondence has gone back and forth between us over the years of me buying your products. But this cut is so deep! What did I do to you? How did I offend you so, to deserve this horrific treatment!? Tag Team Torture, indeed. Is this because I said I’d like to see the behind-the-scenes match-ups that surely resulted from short-tempers as a result of your recent overtime coping with the flooding? Is it because I pointed out that you had some typos in the description of Lon’s products? Why?

My desperate hope is that your webmaster just hit “replace” rather than “add,” and that I will have the opportunity to drool over fresh, hard picks of Lon soon. Please. Please? My pre-order is in hand. I’ll shine your shoes (or whatever else requires me to be on my knees in front of you). I’ll probably hate you just a little for some time to come over this cruel, sadistic move to torment me. But we can make this right. I don’t mind some sweetly erotic suffering from time to time, but this is just vicious!