The voting for last Friday’s Fashion poll blew me away! As I mentioned last week, I tend to never, ever bet against Aryx Quinn in a fan poll of any type. The stud has an incredibly deep and loyal fan base, and as soon as he sends out a notice to rally his troops on Twitter (as he did yesterday to try to pull this poll out of the fire) his minions typically crush the competition. But not this time! By a vote of 126 to 121 (51% to 49%), Trent Blayze ripped those sexy-ass indigo trunks with silver flames off of Aryx and claimed the extremely hard fought title as “he who wore it best.” Is there a Trent Blayze fan club out there that I don’t know about? Because I’d like to! Just like I’d like to see the metaphorical fight for these trunks between Aryx and Trent turn into a literal, all in, rip-n-strip-in-reverse match between them. Lovely Aryx has been humbled two weeks in a row, so we’re going to put him on the bench this week to lick his wounds. And if he needs help with licking himself, I hope he’ll drop me a line.
Now that’s the way to wear a pair of trunks!
This week’s Friday Fashion poll was another find from fashionista Dan, who noticed that not only did Donnie Drake and Shannon Embry wear matching gear when they teamed up in Tag Team Torture 8, but about 7 years later, perennial favorite of mine Lon Dumont donned the same gear in Tag Team Torture 17. I have to guess mammoth side of beef Brute Baynard might have also donned the same trunks when partnering with Lon if his gargantuan glutes and quads could have squeezed into them, but alas, this is a three-way Friday Fashion poll for you. Aesthetically speaking, between Shannon, Donnie and Lon, who wore it best?
The graphic suffering that Shannon Embry (left) and Donnie Drake (right) experienced in these architectural lime green and chartreuse trunks was astonishing. The day they battled it out in Tag Team Torture 8, they were brutally schooled and pounded into oblivion. But today, in in a head-to-head-to-head battle of fashion, did Shannon wear it best? Did Donnie?Or was it wrestler-turned-bodybuilder-turned-bodybuilder wrestler Lon Dumont who yet again crushed both Shannon and Donnie by not only squashing like proverbial bugs his opponents in Tag Team Torture 17, but also wearing the same gear the best?
Out of 128 votes cast, Rio Garza pulled just over 45% of the ballots to slap down perennial poll powerhouse Aryx Quinn (37%) and luscious one-hit wonder Brian Bodine (18%). As a rule, I generally never count out Rio or Aryx when it comes to fan support, so this was a fascinating head-to-head, making me wonder whether Brian’s respectable 18% threw the balloting one direction or the other. We’ve seen Aryx crushing Rio, and we’ve seen Aryx crushing Brian. If there are homoerotic wrestling gods, I pray that they will throw the three of these hot hunk into the same arena with one pair of trunks to fight over between the three of them. Congratulations to Rio, who never fails to look stunningly gorgeous in absolutely anything!
Aryx cannot be happy to lose to mouthwatering babyface perennial jobber Rio!
Today’s Friday Fashion poll was another tip to me from eagle-eyed fashionista Dan. Trent Blayze wore, appropriately enough, blazingly hot indigo trunks with silver flames when he ran headlong into the steamroller we know as big Joe Robbins in Pec Bash 2. Fast forward to catalog 101, and we find Aryx Quinn, yet again, daring to don the same gear and begging for a fashion comparison in his Masked Mayhem massacre over Muscle Mask. Handsome hunks. Hot bodies. Beautiful bulges. Awesome attitudes. Both have scored homoerotic wrestler of the month trophies here at neverland, but when it comes to that particular pair of trunks, who wore it best?
Trent Blayze is devastatingly handsome, an incredibly sexy wrestler, and tough enough to make anyone thing twice about questioning his “flaming” choice of trunks. But did he wear it best?Aryx is back in the mix this week to try to redeem himself from last week’s fashion loss. He owns everything and everyone he comes into contact with in the ring, including those trunks. But in a head to head with Trent, did Aryx wear it best?
Coincidentally, not long after I received my custom video from Jonny Firestorm, a regular reader of neverland sent me a message to share how pleased he was with his experience booking a private match with Jonny. From his story (shared here with permission), I get the impression that the Jonny’s professionalism and the trust that he engendered were not unique to me. Here’s a consumer report on a private match with Jonny Firestorm.
“A weeks ago I had my first wrestling experience in a private match with none other than Jonny Firestorm. When I started planning this 2 months ago I never imagined how intense this experience would be. First I emailed Jonny about the idea for the match for his approval. Since this was kinda of a once in a lifetime opportunity I also asked him if another wrestler could join us too. With some convincing from his part, I was lucky enough to be initiated not only by Jonny but also by a fellow handsome BG East heel. The idea behind the match was that I was going to receive my first training “lesson”. What I got, of course, was a first-class -one hour and a half- rookie wrecking. I was put in all of the moves that you could ask for: camel clutches, bow and arrow, all kinds of headscissors and fig-4’s, over the knee and over the shoulder backbreakers, choke holds, corner abuse, double-teamed and even being forced to count myself out. My favorite moments? Being sleepered and pinned in all the variations of sleeper you could think of, particularly a crotch to face fig-4 executed by both Jonny and his heel friend. And of course there was a lot of trash talking and sexy teasing as you could find in any of his matches. It all made me feel like if I was part of the newest Jobberpaloozer installment.
I was amazed at how well Jonny adapted the intensity of the match to my personal level of strength and flexibility. I experienced some true stretching and pain at times, but it was really nice for me to have my pain tolerance being tested still within my range of comfort. Also, I was impressed on how well he incorporated all the requests that I made on the description for the match. This was my particular fantasy and everyone else’s maybe different. The impression I have is that Jonny would be able to satisfy whatever setting you would like to recreate.
Communication with Jonny can be tricky since his legions of fans probably flood his email every day. Just be patient. Jonny replied each and every of my emails along the way. And it was worth the wait, since just thinking about all of this still puts a smile on my face. It was just my best Christmas gift ever. “
I’ve known of at least half a dozen homoerotic wrestlers who have attempted to leverage their following into marketing more than what fans can access through the main producers. Most of those entrepreneurial efforts, I’m sad to say, have fizzled before they really began. I think the skill sets involved in being an awesome wrestler don’t always coincide with a strong business sense.
All of that said, I was excited to sample the goods when Jonny Firestorm launched his website and advertised some customizable products available. Having met Jonny in person during my pilgrimage to Pembroke a couple of years ago, I felt like I could trust Jonny as a vendor, and I feel that trust was well-placed. I zeroed in specifically on the “Custom Video” option. I emailed him. He was very responsive, trading messages back and forth to clarify the scope of what sort of match it might be and how I’d like to customize it. Jonny went to great pains to get all of my wish list made explicit, because, as he explained, the last thing he’d want would be an unsatisfied customer who was disappointed.
It was an interesting assignment, to put down into words for Jonny Firestorm what would turn me on. For having overshared on this blog for nearly 5 years (!?!), it took me by surprise how conspicuous and vulnerable it felt to paint by the numbers with Jonny exactly the scenario, the drama, the particular holds that would make me want to invest a considerable sum of money. And I’m thrilled to report that Jonny was a pro to work with, putting me at ease, drawing my desires out with remarkable sensitivity for working through the medium of email.
Regular readers won’t be surprised that I enthusiastically requested that Jonny’s co-star in this custom match be long-time favorite homoerotic wrestler fantasy man of mine, Lon Dumont. When Jonny got back to me to let me know that he could book Lon, I was a little dizzy with anticipation. He gave me a time frame to expect the match to get taped. In this case, it was a window of about a month and a half when they would have at least one or two opportunities to be in the same place. The weekend that the match was taped, I knew it was happening, and Jonny got back to me within a few days to let me know he’d take another week or two of editing before sending it out. In the mean time, he satisfied my request for some preview pics (featured here) to keep my fever running.
Jonny gave me the option of method of delivery (download, DVD, hell, he even said he might be able to dig up an old VCR tape if I really wanted that). When the match arrived, my heart was pounding with a level of excitement that I haven’t really felt since the early days of my life as a consumer of homoerotic wrestling products, when I’d nearly faint with anticipation when a tape would arrive, light-headed every inch of the distance between the mailbox and my tape player.
I LOVE my custom Jonny v Lon match! They hit about 90% of the marks I’d asked for. They were both in outrageously phenomenal shape. In fact, Lon was so close to being on stage for his next bodybuilding competition that he was pretty well near starved. While that made for awesome physique watching, it did leave him noticeably weak and pretty quickly tired out. Jonny apologized for that before I even saw the match. For the record, he had let me decide whether they should tape before or after Lon’s competition, so it was my choice. That said, at least half of what turns me on about both Jonny and Lon is the sell, the drama, and the mammoth personalities, which were there in abundance, even if the energy level was a little low.
One of the Bard-fetish elements that I asked for was a lot of dialogue, including between-fall extended commentary as the winner of each fall flexed for me as he explained how it is he defeated his opponent. The boys made that happen in ways that crack me up and totally arouse me at exactly the same time.
The cost was considerable, and I feel like I got my money’s worth. The time, the talent, and the production costs of putting it together are immense, I’m sure. More to the point, owning my own fantasy translated to the small screen starring Jonny Firestorm and Lon Dumont is incredibly satisfying. I’m sure costs vary depending on the specifics requested (e.g., I really wanted this to be a ring match, so booking a pro wrestling ring I’m sure comes with a price). But Jonny delivered, and for what Jonny (and Lon) delivered, I’m a very happy customer.
Ironically, within a couple of weeks of me getting my custom video, another wrestling fan and regular reader of neverland contacted me to let me know about his experience with another of Jonny’s product lines: a private match. I’ll share his consumer report tomorrow…
I’ve got a significant crush on Muscle Domination Wrestling’s Tidus. I’m not precisely sure why the stud grabs me so, so hard, but he does. He’s not the biggest or hardest. He sells okay, not outstanding, just okay. His gear lately has been annoying the hell out of me. But damn, he turns holds my attention with a vice grip! I hope he gets his fine ass back in the ring, preferably in a thong. Short of that, I’ll take what I can get, which is Tidus in a brutal squash, smart mouthing and trash talking to the bitter, tragic end in the Super Men season 2 episode 2. I’m getting wildly confused by the backstory to the Super Men series at this point, but Tidus’ scene involves him forgetting his sword and getting trounced by the prince of the planet, portrayed by Morgan Cruise. I’d love a plot I can sink my teeth into a bit more, but I won’t complain about getting to see more of my inexplicable infatuation: Tidus.
There was a stiff competition for homoerotic wrestler of the month this time around. Whenever BG East drops a new catalog, the field is thick, and add to that a couple of choice releases from Rock Hard Wrestling, a couple eye catching matches in Naked Kombat, and some hot new commodities at Muscle Domination Wrestling, and there was a lot of stiffness to go round, believe me. One hot hunk in particular had me wrapped around his little finger, however, just about as completely as he had his opponent essentially begging for the wrestling foreplay to come to an end and full throttle fucking to commence. Bringing a hot, hard, gorgeous hunk to the point of pleading to be allowed to concede so he can give in to his consuming lusts is a most excellent plot point, and one entirely convincingly-delivered by my new reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month…
Now, I’ve had my eye on Skrapper a long time. His silky baritone rumbling out the phrase, “dude” is like Pavlov’s bell to me these days. He just has to say, “dude” and I’m salivating and hard as a rock. Clearly, I’m not the only one who’s been conditioned to expect intensely hot things from Skrapper, because it takes zero time at all before Trey Dixon is telegraphing his raging lust when the two show up in the mat room in Passion and Punishment. Typically, homoerotic wrestling starts with the tension of wrestling, but not this time. This time, the boys both clearly and obviously want to fuck from the start. There’s no pretense, no bluster. They’re sucking face and grinding crotches in an instant. And I’m buying ever second of it.
Skrapper is always insanely intense!
Now, I assume his parents did not literally name him “Skrapper” on his birth certificate, but they should have. Time and time again, the gutsy, fierce, hungry, stance of Skrapper has demonstrated little finesse and an overabundance of raw emotion. The boy just wants to dominate so… fucking… much! You can’t swing a cat without hitting a homoerotic wrestler who is trying to look like he’s bringing the heat. Skrapper just is. I buy it wholesale every time. No pretense. No posing. He just wants to grind an opponent into submission with anything and everything it may take, which frequently includes Skrapper’s balls in his face. It’s not always the case, but frequently Skrapper let’s us glimpse his erotic freak flag, perhaps never as openly as when the sadistic-erotic master himself got hold of him, Kid Vicious. But as much as I adore that match with KV, I tell you Passion and Punishment is even more sexual and sexier.
Trey wants this so much Skrapper can taste it!
It’s not uncommon for me to get critiques of my favorite-picks who pull the “two-to-tango” card. Let me just intercept that one by acknowledging Trey Dixon more than carries his weight in this match on all fronts. Where the hell did they find this stud!? This is just his SECOND match, and both of them have burned holes in my retinas for being over the top scorching hot! I don’t know if Trey has done porn (though I fully expect someone to tell me now), but he should, because raw, sexy sensuality drips off of him like honey. This guy is no rookie, regardless of how many matches I’ve seen him in on camera, and he quite nearly out-scraps Skrapper
If Skrapper wasn’t so damn sexy, this match might have been all sown up ages ago.
Trey’s Achilles heel, so to speak, is Skrapper’s sexiness. Whenever Trey gets a head of steam in the match, when Skrapper is vulnerable, wrapped up, tied down, Trey cannot resist tasting the goods. They want each other. They need each other. Fuck, they DESERVE each other, working their fine asses overtime in this non-stop throw down that leaves the mat drenched in sweat.
Two hot, horny, pumped and primed bodies!
However, I give this to Skrapper not because he, in the end, ends up on top, but because he beats Trey not just into submission, but into nearly weeping for release. They’re both exhausted, totally wasted, their bodies bruised, slapping against one another wetly, glistening in the light. And that slow burning lust that’s been on the simmer the entire time finally makes Trey melt as Skrapper bears down on him, domineering over top of him, that phenomenal tenacity being the barest finger on the scales that tip finally in Skrapper’s direction. Then there’s this smirk on Skrapper’s face, an exhausted, but certain acknowledgment that he’d broken his opponent in body and spirit not just by physical domination, but by raw, sexual appeal.
Who’s got whom?
Honestly, I won’t be surprised if I hear someone argue that they watched the match and thought Trey “won.” It’s just that close of a physical battle, and the climax teeters on the edge of just saying “fuck it” to the question of who out-wrestled whom as the boys settle in to seriously go to town on one another. With 30 seconds left in the taping, honestly, a strong case could be made either way. But then there are those last 30 seconds…
Skrapper’s walking out of here with Trey’s fine ass and the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month firmly in hand.
Skrapper breaks the intimate embrace and snags Trey in a side headlock, dragging the stunned, beautiful, incredibly hot stud out of the mat room and, presumably, onto just about any flat surface out of camera shot to ride that bright red, round ass of his like a rodeo star. The chemistry between these two is electric. Their mutual ferocity is epic. The raw blend of lust and wrestling is intuitive and as far as I’m concerned, 100% genuine. But for pure entertainment, the hunk here that grabs me by the balls and makes me gasp over and over again first and foremost is Skrapper. The title of homoerotic wrestler of the month, just like Trey Dixon’s phenomenal ass, belongs unquestionably to him.
I cannot possibly pay more attention to Russell Tovey because I’ve been completely obsessed for years.
A friend re-posted this completely unnecessary BuzzFeed homage to convince us that we ought to be infatuated with Russell Tovey. That ship sailed years ago. He’s appeared in two homoerotic wrestling fantasy pieces of fiction of mine, and countless more in my imagination. He’s also looking buffer and buffer lately, as if he needed to increase his raw, dorky, intense sexiness. I’d donate a kidney to wake up in the morning and see that sexiness staring back at me. Which made me think, who else would I both want to wrestle, fuck, AND wake up in the morning next to?
Fortunately, the selfie craze provides a lot of material to try out. Here are few of my homoerotic wrestling fantasymen who have shared exactly what it would look like to roll over in the morning after a night of full throttle erotic wrestling and see what’s left in the dawn-kissed light of day.
Possibly my pick for the sexiest man on the planet who I have not seen wrestle, Eliad Cohen looks like he’d be ready for the rematch the morning after.John Magnum made a HUGE impression on me by making a HUGE impression all over poor Philip Aubrey’s lean body in John’s one appearance on Naked Kombat. The boy can wrestle and fuck, and waking up next to that gorgeous ass would make all that punishment he dished out the night before totally worth it.Friend of neverland and former homoerotic wrestler of the month Aryx Quinn is already sexy as hell, but with a dog sleeping on his shoulder as the morning light filters through the window, Aryx is a vision.Regular readers know my theory about hot wrestlers and dogs, proven yet again by the view of former homoerotic wrestler of the month Austin Wolf rousing in bed next to you with the pup snuggled in between.Naked Kombatant Landon Conrad is devastatingly handsome and built like a comic book superhero, but waking up with the dog under one arm and his bedroom eyes for nobody but you is icing on the cake after that night of fuck-stakes wrestling.Yet another homoerotic wrestler of the month and comic book superhero porn star fighter, Marcu Ruhl’s massively muscled sexiness is insanely alluring relaxed in bed and looking over at you as you slowly rouse in the morning.Just picture waking up next to BG East rookie Logan Vaughn, still stripped naked like you left him after you conquered that hot ass the night before in the ring.
In the wrestling ring, stunningly pretty Troy Baker very seldom tallied victories. In fact, in most cases that adonis body of his took a brutal thrashing that made him many him the #1 muscle jobber of many fans. But when it comes to fashion, and in particular, when it comes to those metallic gold, barely there posing trunks, Troy put unlucky Kieran Dunne on his back and shoved poor Kieran’s face in that shiny golden pouch. The carnage was absolute. By a vote of 93 to 30 (as of this posting), the beautiful blond beauty Baker boy pounded the living shit out of Kieran when it comes to which hunk fans think wore it best. When Troy makes his (never even rumored) hypothetical comeback, I think it should be an in the ring, against Kieran, battle for the briefs as both hot hunks wrestle naked to see which dazzling stud gets to wear this dazzling gear again.
It’s hard to argue with that.
Today’s Friday Fashion poll draws from the Can-Am crew. Specifically, Can-Am printed its name across the asses of their wrestlers on a few occasions, including their dotcom buttercup trunks worn in two of the Arena series DVDs. I believe first to wear them was a one-hit wonder I’d love to see hit up again (and again), gorgeously muscled Brian Bodine in Arena 1. Talk about a party foul, when dangerous hunk Aryx Quinn showed up to take on Brian as Rusty Stevens’ sloppy seconds, Aryx was wearing the same gear. Then, to irk Aryx I’m sure, Rio Garza slipped his underwear model body inside the same buttercup trunks with Can-Am’s name and logo stitched across his fine, fine ass in Arena 3. I’m unilaterally declaring that all three of these beautiful bodies could never go wrong in absolutely anything/nothing, but the difficult question you have to ask yourself is “who wore it best?”.
Brian Bodine had terrible, terrible luck drawing both Rusty Stevens and Aryx Quinn in Arena 2, but there’s nothing about luck when it comes to how supremely fine he looked in, then out, of that gear. But did he wear it best?The legions of Aryx-fans know that he’s the total package: rockin’ bod, nasty attitude, and full throttle wrestling. But in the more nuanced battle of fashion, the question remains. Did he wear it best?Rio Garza tends to make fans foam at the mouth. The competitive physique star and fitness model has proven to one audience after another he’s golden, if when he gets that beautiful ass beaten time and time again. He always, always looks so good, but did he wear it best?
I’ve long argued that there’s a bias against the lower body among homoerotic wrestling photographers. Now, I love a hot torso, of course. I swoon over big, peaked biceps and veiny, thick forearms. But come on, the photographic neglect given to thick, luscious legs is appalling! We don’t even have a “BG East Best of” category for legs! Of course, the homoerotic wrestling thighs that jump to the top of my list of most under appreciated by the camera belong to my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler: Kid Karisma.
Pretty Pete Sharp dares compare quads with the master!
When I interviewed the karismatic one a while back, he acknowledged that his lower body is simply phenomenal, and credited years of competitive rugby (because what other kind is there?) for sculpting his lower body into the powerful work of art it is today. It’s hard to argue with success.
Pete doesn’t look quite so pretty with his neck trapped good and tight between Kid Karisma’s mammoth thighs.
Which was one reason that BuzzFeed’s top 40 hottest rugby thighs caught my attention. Here are a few other rugby hunks who ought to follow Kid Karisma’s lead and break into homoerotic wrestling. I want to see some babyface beauties screaming like trapped minks between the bear traps these boys call their quads!
#1 in Buzzfeed’s ranking is #1 for me as well. Look at those telephone poles on James Short!I’ve noted David Pocock’s hotness on this blog before.Jonathan Joseph’s legs make my mouth water.I’m pretty sure I’ve swooned over Sonny Bill Williams before, but that never gets old!Talk about a babyface! Holy shit can you picture adorable Patrick Lambie crunching skulls with those quads?First, Ignacio Meires needs to dominate aforementioned Patrick Lambie (above) and then the two need to be a thundering thighs tag team.Edoardo Gori would clearly be a high flyer in the ring.Daniel Barrett looks devastatingly pretty.The girth on Brian O’Driscoll’s upper legs makes me thank my lucky charms.The meat on Ben Botica’s upper legs hangs like beef at the butcher shop. Damn, damn, damn, rugby does a body good.Clearly rugby thighs also do a homoerotic wrestler good, as well!
In a “fresh tugs” edition of Tuesday Trunk Pulls, there’s a big crop of trunk pulls in the new release section at BG East. I mean, a lot! If you need a little extra leverage, if you need a little handle to get everything in just the right position, always feel free to grab hold of the tiniest tether: your opponent’s trunks. And if there’s a camera nearby, treat the rest of us to a little pre-Christmas unwrapping party!
In Tag Team Torture 17, the 3-way barnburner between Jonny Firestorm, Mike Pitt, and Cameron Matthews gets vicious fast. Never one to shy away from jerking on his opponent’s trunks (and showing off some beefy ass), here Jonny drags Mike’s hips off the mat by his straining trunks.An equal opportunity brutalizer, Jonny shows the same disrespect to Cameron Matthews, with the added bonus of showing us why Cameron is always a contender for the best butt award.In a “reap-what-you-sow” morality tale, Jonny discovers that payback is both a bitch and a vicious wedgie when Cameron drags his fine ass across the ring by a double-fistful of Jonny’s purple trunks.Ethan Andrews does not need any additional advantage to completely squash, obliterate, and trounce lovely, lithe Lauden Sevior. But that doesn’t stop him from taking sick satisfaction in yanking on the go-go boy’s jock strap and long, flowing locks to add humiliation to total physical domination in Passion & Punishment.Jonah Richards grabs everything he can to subdue fellow Raunchy Rookie Ken Okeda.In Hunkbash 15 Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) spends about 40% of the bout with his fingers yanking on Rio Garza’s trunks. Understandably.Raunchy rookies know not to let a little fabric or “rule” get in the way, such as when Kayden “Hungry like the Wolf” Kayden pries Ty’s hips out of the corner with a severe yank on the trunks, in order to set him up for more gut punching brutality.
Sidelineland 