I cannot possibly pay more attention to Russell Tovey because I’ve been completely obsessed for years.
A friend re-posted this completely unnecessary BuzzFeed homage to convince us that we ought to be infatuated with Russell Tovey. That ship sailed years ago. He’s appeared in two homoerotic wrestling fantasy pieces of fiction of mine, and countless more in my imagination. He’s also looking buffer and buffer lately, as if he needed to increase his raw, dorky, intense sexiness. I’d donate a kidney to wake up in the morning and see that sexiness staring back at me. Which made me think, who else would I both want to wrestle, fuck, AND wake up in the morning next to?
Fortunately, the selfie craze provides a lot of material to try out. Here are few of my homoerotic wrestling fantasymen who have shared exactly what it would look like to roll over in the morning after a night of full throttle erotic wrestling and see what’s left in the dawn-kissed light of day.
Possibly my pick for the sexiest man on the planet who I have not seen wrestle, Eliad Cohen looks like he’d be ready for the rematch the morning after.John Magnum made a HUGE impression on me by making a HUGE impression all over poor Philip Aubrey’s lean body in John’s one appearance on Naked Kombat. The boy can wrestle and fuck, and waking up next to that gorgeous ass would make all that punishment he dished out the night before totally worth it.Friend of neverland and former homoerotic wrestler of the month Aryx Quinn is already sexy as hell, but with a dog sleeping on his shoulder as the morning light filters through the window, Aryx is a vision.Regular readers know my theory about hot wrestlers and dogs, proven yet again by the view of former homoerotic wrestler of the month Austin Wolf rousing in bed next to you with the pup snuggled in between.Naked Kombatant Landon Conrad is devastatingly handsome and built like a comic book superhero, but waking up with the dog under one arm and his bedroom eyes for nobody but you is icing on the cake after that night of fuck-stakes wrestling.Yet another homoerotic wrestler of the month and comic book superhero porn star fighter, Marcu Ruhl’s massively muscled sexiness is insanely alluring relaxed in bed and looking over at you as you slowly rouse in the morning.Just picture waking up next to BG East rookie Logan Vaughn, still stripped naked like you left him after you conquered that hot ass the night before in the ring.
In the wrestling ring, stunningly pretty Troy Baker very seldom tallied victories. In fact, in most cases that adonis body of his took a brutal thrashing that made him many him the #1 muscle jobber of many fans. But when it comes to fashion, and in particular, when it comes to those metallic gold, barely there posing trunks, Troy put unlucky Kieran Dunne on his back and shoved poor Kieran’s face in that shiny golden pouch. The carnage was absolute. By a vote of 93 to 30 (as of this posting), the beautiful blond beauty Baker boy pounded the living shit out of Kieran when it comes to which hunk fans think wore it best. When Troy makes his (never even rumored) hypothetical comeback, I think it should be an in the ring, against Kieran, battle for the briefs as both hot hunks wrestle naked to see which dazzling stud gets to wear this dazzling gear again.
It’s hard to argue with that.
Today’s Friday Fashion poll draws from the Can-Am crew. Specifically, Can-Am printed its name across the asses of their wrestlers on a few occasions, including their dotcom buttercup trunks worn in two of the Arena series DVDs. I believe first to wear them was a one-hit wonder I’d love to see hit up again (and again), gorgeously muscled Brian Bodine in Arena 1. Talk about a party foul, when dangerous hunk Aryx Quinn showed up to take on Brian as Rusty Stevens’ sloppy seconds, Aryx was wearing the same gear. Then, to irk Aryx I’m sure, Rio Garza slipped his underwear model body inside the same buttercup trunks with Can-Am’s name and logo stitched across his fine, fine ass in Arena 3. I’m unilaterally declaring that all three of these beautiful bodies could never go wrong in absolutely anything/nothing, but the difficult question you have to ask yourself is “who wore it best?”.
Brian Bodine had terrible, terrible luck drawing both Rusty Stevens and Aryx Quinn in Arena 2, but there’s nothing about luck when it comes to how supremely fine he looked in, then out, of that gear. But did he wear it best?The legions of Aryx-fans know that he’s the total package: rockin’ bod, nasty attitude, and full throttle wrestling. But in the more nuanced battle of fashion, the question remains. Did he wear it best?Rio Garza tends to make fans foam at the mouth. The competitive physique star and fitness model has proven to one audience after another he’s golden, if when he gets that beautiful ass beaten time and time again. He always, always looks so good, but did he wear it best?
I’ve long argued that there’s a bias against the lower body among homoerotic wrestling photographers. Now, I love a hot torso, of course. I swoon over big, peaked biceps and veiny, thick forearms. But come on, the photographic neglect given to thick, luscious legs is appalling! We don’t even have a “BG East Best of” category for legs! Of course, the homoerotic wrestling thighs that jump to the top of my list of most under appreciated by the camera belong to my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler: Kid Karisma.
Pretty Pete Sharp dares compare quads with the master!
When I interviewed the karismatic one a while back, he acknowledged that his lower body is simply phenomenal, and credited years of competitive rugby (because what other kind is there?) for sculpting his lower body into the powerful work of art it is today. It’s hard to argue with success.
Pete doesn’t look quite so pretty with his neck trapped good and tight between Kid Karisma’s mammoth thighs.
Which was one reason that BuzzFeed’s top 40 hottest rugby thighs caught my attention. Here are a few other rugby hunks who ought to follow Kid Karisma’s lead and break into homoerotic wrestling. I want to see some babyface beauties screaming like trapped minks between the bear traps these boys call their quads!
#1 in Buzzfeed’s ranking is #1 for me as well. Look at those telephone poles on James Short!I’ve noted David Pocock’s hotness on this blog before.Jonathan Joseph’s legs make my mouth water.I’m pretty sure I’ve swooned over Sonny Bill Williams before, but that never gets old!Talk about a babyface! Holy shit can you picture adorable Patrick Lambie crunching skulls with those quads?First, Ignacio Meires needs to dominate aforementioned Patrick Lambie (above) and then the two need to be a thundering thighs tag team.Edoardo Gori would clearly be a high flyer in the ring.Daniel Barrett looks devastatingly pretty.The girth on Brian O’Driscoll’s upper legs makes me thank my lucky charms.The meat on Ben Botica’s upper legs hangs like beef at the butcher shop. Damn, damn, damn, rugby does a body good.Clearly rugby thighs also do a homoerotic wrestler good, as well!
In a “fresh tugs” edition of Tuesday Trunk Pulls, there’s a big crop of trunk pulls in the new release section at BG East. I mean, a lot! If you need a little extra leverage, if you need a little handle to get everything in just the right position, always feel free to grab hold of the tiniest tether: your opponent’s trunks. And if there’s a camera nearby, treat the rest of us to a little pre-Christmas unwrapping party!
In Tag Team Torture 17, the 3-way barnburner between Jonny Firestorm, Mike Pitt, and Cameron Matthews gets vicious fast. Never one to shy away from jerking on his opponent’s trunks (and showing off some beefy ass), here Jonny drags Mike’s hips off the mat by his straining trunks.An equal opportunity brutalizer, Jonny shows the same disrespect to Cameron Matthews, with the added bonus of showing us why Cameron is always a contender for the best butt award.In a “reap-what-you-sow” morality tale, Jonny discovers that payback is both a bitch and a vicious wedgie when Cameron drags his fine ass across the ring by a double-fistful of Jonny’s purple trunks.Ethan Andrews does not need any additional advantage to completely squash, obliterate, and trounce lovely, lithe Lauden Sevior. But that doesn’t stop him from taking sick satisfaction in yanking on the go-go boy’s jock strap and long, flowing locks to add humiliation to total physical domination in Passion & Punishment.Jonah Richards grabs everything he can to subdue fellow Raunchy Rookie Ken Okeda.In Hunkbash 15 Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) spends about 40% of the bout with his fingers yanking on Rio Garza’s trunks. Understandably.Raunchy rookies know not to let a little fabric or “rule” get in the way, such as when Kayden “Hungry like the Wolf” Kayden pries Ty’s hips out of the corner with a severe yank on the trunks, in order to set him up for more gut punching brutality.
Welcoming again guest blogger Alex to give some insights into a corner of the wrestling world I just don’t keep track of these days.
WWE Superstars: The Comic [Guest Blogger: Alex]
The best description of this comic book I read was at Scans Daily. The poster said: “Imagine a PG-rated version of Sin City where instead of shooting each other, everyone randomly hits each other with wrestling moves!”
That’s EXACTLY what this comic is. As a writer and fan of wrestling fiction, I’m all for creating worlds where pro wrestling is real and elbows fly instead of bullets. There’s nothing erotic about this, but I thought it was fun and I love the premise.
It’s set in seedy and corrupt Titan City, which is run by the McMahons, of course. They’re referenced, but only Triple H is seen.
The story focuses on three guys: Randy Orton, John Cena and CM Punk, but many more WWE ‘superstars’ are prominent side characters. Cena is a cop who was framed for stealing the Money in the Bank briefcase with $10 million. Orton is running for DA against Alberto Del Rio, in a feud with Daniel Bryan and looking for the MITB briefcase, too. CM Punk is a community activist who “wants to bring the whole system down”.
Written by Mick Foley (and maybe a ghost writer, who knows), the comic takes itself seriously, even if readers don’t. I think it’s intended to be a parody, but I don’t know that for sure. I do think they missed an opportunity to go further with the concept. I would have had the characters in their ring attire. Walking around, working, eating, giving interviews, but always in trunks, tights, etc. as though it was normal. That would have made Titan City really unique and I think pushed the idea to a higher level.
Below are some scans from the issue. The most action revolves around Orton (first four scans), followed by Cena (next two). CM Punk doesn’t get much action, so I’ve only included one.
That’s police detective Ziggler and hired goon Ryback fighting.
Orton beats up a jobber while setting up Cena. Daniel Bryan vandalized the ring earlier.
Ryback beats up reporter The Miz, trying to get information about Bryan out of him.
Bryan vandalizes Orton’s car. The issue ends on this as one of three cliffhangers.
Of course they pass a wrestling ring on the way out of prison. Cena gets attacked, but beats down his assailants.
AJ sets Cena up, sending him right into the waiting arms of an angry Mark Henry who throws Cena off the third floor balcony in another cliffhanger.
Community activist (anarchist?) CM Punk fights off the Wyatts. Interestingly, he runs into Shield, but they don’t fight.
The book was $1.99 and I thought it was good enough that I’ll be back for issue two. I’m probably the only guy who’s read it, but what do you think of the premise or pages you see here? Would love to read some comments!
Sharp eyes noted that there were some unreleased BG East photos embedded in my interview with Drake Marcos and Mason Brooks a couple of days ago. True enough, I recently received another super-secret parcel of behind-the-scenes and as-yet unreleased photos from an anonymous source who I will continue to refer to as “our man inside” BG East. The identity of this fan pleaser is unknown to me. I am under the impression that it is not Drake nor Mason, for example, however the way these photos are being passed to me makes it impossible for me to know where they actually came from. Some of them appear to be HD photos of yet-to-be released matches, looking like they were peeled off of the cutting room floor. Others are clearly candid photos that look like they’ve been taken with a camera phone. I keep expecting to hear about some BG East back office boy who was found at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico wearing cement galoshes, but apparently so far even the Boss has not sussed out the source or does not feel sufficiently compromised by the corporate espionage to take retribution. Either way, whoever you are, our man inside is my personal hero and still has a standing offer to be taken to dinner someday, should he dare reveal his identity to me. In the mean time, keep ’em coming, buddy!
Now, let’s pick through the latest scavenged treasures and lift a toast to our man inside! First, there was some hot smuggled swag that looks like it comes from a camera phone, capturing two of the sizzling young rookies I’ve been smitten by lately, Kayden Keller and Ty Alexander. Ty mentioned to me that he’s a gear-horse, and it looks like both he and Kayden enjoy hanging out in sexy, sexy, sexy gear between wrestling shoots.
The glimpse of facial hair and that hot ass convince me that this is Kayden “Hungry Like the Wolf” Keller.Same gear, same hot ass, so I’m pretty sure this is what Kayden Keller looks like on a Saturday morning when he’s hanging out watching his cartoons.Rookie Ty Alexander looks adorable despite the tough guy shades and stare over his shoulder. Hope we see that gear in the ring (on and off his body) soon.This one is particularly mysterious for lack of clues to the identity of this silky smooth body. Because of the context in which the photos appeared, and because of the aforementioned fascination Ty tells me he has with gear, I’m thinking that sweet ass belongs to him.That handsome face and those chiseled abs could belong to no one other than the hardest working hunk in wrestling, Cameron Matthews, apparently taking a break just long enough to soak in some sunshine.And here is Cameron back at work again, possibly on the set of Tag Team Torture 17, with the camera trained on his hot, athletic body as someone, behind the camera, snaps this shot.This looks like a shot from just before taping a match, with rookie Kayden Keller in the background, Jonny Firestorm looking board, and Drake Marcos daydreaming about finding someone he can beat.I haven’t yet seen Tag Team Torture 17, but I’m dying to see perennial favorite Lon Dumont in action again partnered with the humungous beast of a man here, Brute Baynard. I’m also making a mental note to ask Lon why he’s so enthusiastically pointing at Brute’s crotch.This looks like a between-takes snapshot from the taping of (my reigning favorite wrestler) Kid Karisma‘s Wrestler Spotlight match against Dev Michaels. How do I apply for the job of rubbing down these two sweat soaked muscle boys to aid in their post-match recuperation?Skrapper’s ass. Let me repeat: Skrapper’s ass. No more words need be said.Holy fuck, Skrapper is looking beefier and sexier by the minute! No wonder he had Trey Dixon quite literally begging for it by the end of their inferno-of-a-mat-match in Passion and Punishment!Who is taking these photos, and HOW CAN I TRADE LIVES WITH YOU!? This is now my screensaver. Skrapper just tapped on Kid Karisma’s shoulder to let him know that he’s in line to potentially knock the karismatic one off of the throne as my favorite homoerotic wrestler. Now let me unbutton those jeans with my teeth!
Paul Perris cut a striking figure when he wrestled for Can-Am. It was more than just a pretty face and a hot bod, though of course he had those. Especially the incredibly hot bod. Paul also pulled off this delicate balance between beautiful grace and dangerous power. The dangerous power is pretty obvious in even a cursory look at his resume and promotional pics. The guy was a martial artist, and 5’10” and 175 pounds doesn’t come close to describing the physicality that he brought. There was pretty much guaranteed to be totally legit a high kick to an opponent’s face at some point in nearly every match, because why not!? And those muscles were clearly not only beautiful, they were strong. I always had the impression that he carried himself like someone who had, in his private life, gotten his ass kicked and kicked ass on several occasions.
Check out the toes.
But Paul Perris also pulled off something that’s hard to do, particularly in the modern pursuit of hyper masculinity these days: he moved with breathtaking grace. It’s not hard to miss the toe point when he would lower that stunning physique into an honest to god, full-on, balls to the floor split. The splits themselves are tough to pull off and still look like a full-contact fighter (excluding Jean-Claude van Damme), but Paul would invariably go the extra inch and point those toes like the dancer he clearly had to have been, stunningly conscious of every inch of his body and intentionally positioning absolutely everything about his body to reach for aesthetic perfection.
It was always about the art and grace.
That grace certainly wasn’t only to be found in the pre-match posing splits and toe points. On the mats, in the ring, he placed each footstep with a deliberate precision, seemingly calculating at every moment the exact position of his center of gravity and maintaining exquisite balance both because it would be harder to knock him off his feet AND because he looked superhumanly beautiful with each movement.
A man and a boy.
The first time I saw him wrestle was in Can-Am’s Canadian Musclehunk Oil Wrestling 3. His opponent was incredibly lean, 5’9″, 160 pound John St. James. John was quite the bon bon. Handsome, cocky, ripped to shreds, if he walked into a bar my eyes would be riveted on him the entire night. But holy fuck, when he shares the screen with Paul, John St. James looks like a pimply faced adolescent! Ostensibly they were separated by one inch in height and about 15 pounds in weight, but whether or not that was technically true, it doesn’t capture the incredible contrast between them. Paul looks like a god. John looks like a mortal.
Even when Paul is on defense, he was completely in charge of the situation.
There’s a sweet intensity and sincerity about John St. James in this match that I enjoy. He absolutely throws himself at Paul with abandon, giving every appearance of a genuine faith in his capacity to conquer the peak physical specimen in front of him. He works a little offense. He tries to be cocky. But at the very height of his momentum, there’s no missing the plain truth: Paul Perris is in complete control. John keeps throwing himself at the gorgeous grappler. He locks on a hold and flexes, grimacing with the effort to apply every ounce of strength into keeping the bodybuilder captured. And Paul grunts and groans with a rhythm that still haunts my dreams, keeping the metronome pace but growing louder when his lightweight opponent snaps on a full nelson or headlock. And the holds last a while, but there’s simply no way around it: Paul is getting off on letting the little kid clock a little riding time. Because as soon as Paul flexes, as soon as he makes even the slightest effort, John’s hold pops loose like perforated paper.
This was always heading in just one direction.
Paul is luxurious in a pit of oil. He writhes and slides with, again, such self-possession that there’s no mistaking that he knows just how superhumanly sexy he looks doing it. Whereas John is a little awkward in the medium (he accidentally squirts a little in his face before the match, making his pre-match oil down look distinctly uncomfortable as he sputters and grimaces), Paul looks like he could whip his cock out at any moment and unload all over his opponent’s face, because this is turning him on just that much.
Paul knows what you’re looking at.
This is squash. Not because John St. James is never on offense, but because even when he’s on offense, he’s nothing more than an accessory to Paul Perris’ one-man physique show. I’m trying to think of anyone wrestling these days that captures the same audacious combination of physical domination and exquisitely beautiful grace as Paul Perris. It made for such a potent delivery of wrestling eroticism, and was foundational in sending my homoerotic wrestling synapses firing in my more formative years.
Sometimes I can call them, and then sometimes I’m surprised by the Friday Fashion polls (which is what makes this fun for me). I absolutely thought that last week’s poll between pornboy muscle beast Rusty Stevens and award-winning babyface beauty Jake Jenkins would be closer than it turned out to be, but by a decisive 102 to 62 vote, the babyface bruiser fucked over the competition but good! Now, let’s all just take a moment to picture a scene where that heather grey 2xist jockstrap is lying on the mat with Jake and Rusty crouched and ready to wrestle naked for the right to put it on. That’s right. Let that simmer a while as I give Jake our hearty congratulations.
Jake’s assets were shown off to perfection in that jock strap when he wrestled in Undagear 20.
Jose also gets credit for spotting this week’s Fashion Friday contenders. In what could be a Throwback Thursday meme, we dig a little deeper into the BG East archives to note that both Troy Baker and Kieran Dunne wore those same metallic gold posing trunks multiple times. The mass quantity of prettiness may blind you, but check out the contenders below and decide for yourself who you think wore it best.
Blond beauty Troy Baker wore that pair of metallic gold trunks in his Wrestler Spotlight, Super Hero Heels 3, and Ringwars 8, never once failing to dazzle. Sure, he looks damn good. But did he wear it best?We watched babyface muscleboy Kieran Dunne grow up before our very eyes, and talk about grow! All those luscious muscles became quite a target for every opponent, but when he wore that pair of gold trunks in Matmen 19, Demolition 14, and Tag Team Torture 14, he seemed to bring out a little something extra in his opponents. But did he wear it best?
Mason Brooks and Drake Marcos are no strangers around neverland. They’ve both beengracious interviewees, and both hunks have stayed in touch over the last year and a half as they’ve broken into the homoerotic wrestling business. So what a delight it was for me to have both of them agree to sit down with me and give a tandem interview to reflect on how far they’ve come, and in particular break down some of the sexy details of their newly released battle with each other in BG East’s Passion and Punishment.I shared my very enthusiastic thoughts about that match last week, so what a treat to delve deeper into that incredibly sexy battle with the two studs in question. The conversation took some twists and turns that I did not expect, and there’s some reckoning still to happen now that some words were spoken on the record, that a particular wrestler can’t take back now. So buckle up for this wild ride with two sizzling sexy sophomores and one very turned-on blogger.
Mason Brooks and his magical nipples.The Cheshire Cat of Homoerotic Wrestling, Drake Marcos, is getting serious.
Bard: Drake and Mason, thanks for chatting with me. This is my first time interviewing two handsome studs at the same time. Thanks for being my first 3-way!
Mason: Happy to oblige. I hope Drake isn’t too intimidated being in the same interview with me.
Bard: After the bruising you took in your recent match, Drake, I could imagine why you might feel intimidated. Any post-traumatic flashbacks sitting down for this chat with Mason here?
Drake: Always…always a pleasure, Bard. When it comes to Mason, however, I don’t believe that what I feel in regards to him is “intimidation”, per se. I would say that it’s more akin to “awareness.” No false, swaggering bravado on my part…a “no spin zone” if you will. I’m well aware that I got my ass whupped all over that mat room, very well aware. So what I feel is more of an “awareness” of what he’s capable of now, so our inevitable rematch will involve a little more calculation than what I normally bring to a match up. I’m surprised my shoulders are still functioning after that shit.
Mason sets the tone by “autographing” Drake’s promotional pic.
Bard: I have to admit, I was a little worried about lasting damage to your body as well. Glad to hear you’re still in working order and plotting the rematch. Mason, you quite clearly had a plan in mind when you arrived on the mats that day. What was going through your head when you posted Drake’s photo on the wall and wrote “property of Mason Brooks” across it?
Mason: So I have a little confession. I try to let my wrestling do the talking, so to speak. But when I found out my next match was against precious little Drake, I just couldn’t resist playing a few head games. He really is fun to mess with, even when you don’t have him locked up in a bodyscissor, and watching the frustration bloom across his face is half the fun. Besides, I needed to set everyone straight, and make them realize I’m no jobber (those last two boys got lucky, I got distracted by their Canadian-ness). So I thought, what better way to make my mark as a real threat than to, literally, mark him as my property? Oh sure, I started with the picture, ’cause I knew that would get him going, but from the start I had visions of him lying there helpless with my name written in big letters across his chest. I planned that match in my mind a hundred times, and then I made it happen. I’m just glad they filmed it so I can watch my handiwork, and take satisfaction in a job well done. After they see this match, no one will mistake me for a jobber. And that is what we Washingtonians call controlling the narrative.
Bard: Controlling is definitely the first word that comes to my mind as I watch that session. It also seemed that sending a message was on both of your minds. How much do both of you have your fans in mind when you step onto the mat?
Things got rough and intense quickly in Passion & Punishment
Drake: If there’s one thing Drake values more than his meds, it’s his fans. It’s why I started the blog (it’s not been abandoned, promise), it’s why my undercover photo sprees are now infamous (my lips are sealed on the culprit of the last one, however). Not only was Mason’s liberty with my photo and my sharpie an affront to me, it was an affront to my fans. I mean who the hell wants Mason’s “autograph” on my picture?! And I swore to myself I would make him pay. I had the best of intentions, I swear. Nobody can say I didn’t fight my heart out.
Mason: I also had Drake’s fans in mind.
Drake: Bitch…
Mason stays focused on the task at hand: battering Drake’s abs.
Mason: Seriously, though, when you’re in the middle of an intense match like that, part of you knows the fans are watching and you want to make something that’s enjoyable to watch, but mostly that takes a back seat to more immediate concerns, like the guy whose abs you’re beating on at the moment. There’s no time to think about much else. Hopefully that intensity comes through and makes the match fun for everyone to watch.
Drake: I find myself echoing some of the same sentiments.
Bard: You’re both incredibly intense wrestlers who are always a blast to watch! I couldn’t help but notice you both mention during your match adoring comments that have been made about you. Of course, I’m thinking of the references to Drake as the Cheshire Cat of homoerotic wrestling and the description of Mason’s nipples as “magical.” I like to take credit for both of those talking points when it comes to your PR (though I suspect I’m not the first to refer to your nipples as magical, Mason). Do comments from fans and bloggers ever help psych you up as you prepare for a match? In other words, do you ever read your own PR, and does that ever figure into what you’re bringing into the mat room with you?
Drake: I would be lying if I said that I didn’t have the Drake Marcos’ reference section of Neverland bookmarked on my desktop. I hope you don’t mind that I claimed the Bard-coined Cheshire Cat moniker as my own. Also I have never deleted an email from a fan yet. I use this as kind of a launching point: things that fans want from my matches and always try to do fans a service that way. But in terms of psyching myself up for a match? I’m like a tightly wound spring, in that regard. Always have a bit of gear and a can of red bull in my bag, ready to go.
Bard: Mind!? Are you crazy! Turned on, more like. I just have to figure out what sort of royalty payments you owe me. Mason, do you follow your own PR, and if so, can I get kickbacks every time you use the phrase “magical” to describe your nipples?
Drake: I think we all know Mason enjoys having his considerable ego stroked…among other things.
Mason: Feel free to draw something up, Bard, and I’ll have my legal team look it over.
Bard: I’ll fax something over in the morning. There will be lots of stroking involved. So this was, I believe, the first time we’ve seen you wrestle naked, Mason. How was the experience of wrestling naked on camera for you ?
Mason and Drake let it all hang out well before the end of their brutal match.
Mason: I didn’t think too much about it, actually. It just sort of happened in the moment. And then that horse was out of the barn, as they say, so I went with it. Being buck naked is very liberating, I must say. Although one must be careful not to, (ahem), squash anything. Other than Drake, of course. I was happy to squash him.
Drake: Yeah, yeah…
Bard: Well I hope we get to see that horse liberated often! Now, Drake, this wasn’t the first time we’ve seen your trunks ripped off and your naked fineness dragged across the mat. While it’s our pleasure to see your body getting fitter with every match, it doesn’t look like you’re exactly enjoying being on the short end of another brutal, humiliating beating. In a conversation I recently had with another wrestler who will remain anonymous you were referred to as a “sweet jobber.” How do you feel about the moniker “jobber,” and what keeps your head in the game after a series of such crushing defeats?
Don’t call Drake a jobber (?).
Drake: Thank you for noting my progress; the attention and compliments are very appreciated. I think I have an idea as to just who that wrestler was that referred to me in such a manner; his wording narrows the list of suspects considerably. Maybe when you finally accept my challenge/invitation I can allay my suspicions by beating the culprit’s name out of you. Despite my less-than-stellar track record at BG, I kind of balk at the title “jobber” (because that’s what it is…a “title”, NOT a “moniker”…it’s not my name or identity. Trust). No one likes getting their ass kicked. I was seriously untested and inexperienced when I stepped onto the mats for my baptism/trial by fire with Gabriel Ross and since then, from each and every significant thumping that I endure, I learn and take a lot that will help inform my future matches. Someone once said you have to lose your life to find it; you have to die to be reborn. I do believe that my soul crushing trouncing in the ring by Jonny along with my equally disheartening loss on the mats to you-know-who has been a… Y’know what? Just prepare yourself for the coming Rebirth. I can just feel it. How do I keep my head in the game? The fact that I know that all the “jobber” comments and dismissiveness that people regard me with are just the growing pains I have to go through before I reach my full potential. This whipping boy is taking up the lash.
Drake learning some lessons.
Bard: Sounds like we should be watching for the Second Coming of Drake. I certainly mean no offense when I ask about the term jobber. From the fan side of things, some of the hottest commodities are the sweetly selling jobbers, and as Mason mentioned during your match, you are nothing short of beautiful when your face is twisted up in agony. That said, I think I remember suggesting that if you won something in the year-end BGE awards, then I might have to take your call out seriously. So congratulations on your match with Jonny winning Best Squash, and bring it on, stud! Though, if you don’t enjoy getting your ass kicked, I’ll understand if you don’t want to risk it. What were some of the lessons you learned with Mason’s ass sitting on your face?
[extensive, awkward silence]
Mason: This isn’t the first time someone’s been dumbstruck by my ass.
Dumbstruck!
Bard: I believe that. A lot.
Drake: Sorry, was answering some fan mail. I love compliments, I really do and there is a certain group that like to see me fading out in a sleeper. Hey, I’m not going to knock people’s tastes. Fans just need to not get so…comfortable. Even though I got completely bulldozed by Jonny, I can’t hate on it. I lobbied hard for that award. There would have been…repercussions if I didn’t get something for that match besides bruising that lasted for a little over a week. Despite my humbling ordeal against Mason, I did learn a lot, but, Bard, what does it matter what kind of bullets are in the gun as long as the gun is loaded? It’s my ammo! To answer that question would be akin to emptying the clip. Uh-uh…no way. However, step on the mats with me, Bard. You can learn first hand just what I’ve learned.
Drake is no stranger to biting off more than he can chew. Just ask Jonny Firestorm.
Bard: Personally I’d like to see you trussed up on a turnbuckle in the ring again, but mat, ring, whatever. We’ll see what we can do, stud. Now try to pay attention as Mason discusses where he’s still learning to up his game, because you could use a little practice scouting your competition, if you want that rematch. So, Mason, other than facing Canadians, what are your… I don’t want to say weaknesses… growing edges?
Mason: Ha, “growing edges,” I like that. I try to learn something from every match, win or lose, (not that losing is much of a concern these days). As much as a wrestling match is about physical strength and skill, I’ve learned just how important it is to go in with the right attitude, and pay attention to the mental dynamics at play. There have definitely been a few matches–including my firstfew for BG East–where I went in with a certain trepidation, just because I was the new guy, or because the other guy is bigger, or talks a big game. The truth is, though, every guy–every guy–has a part of him that feels weak and can be intimidated. The trick is to find that and exploit it. Some guys are just more easily exploited than others [*cough* *cough*]. So I feel like I’m getting better at that mental aspect of the competition, and I look forward to taking on the challenges that BG East has in store for me with a renewed sense of confidence.
Bard: That makes total sense, and I can clearly seeing you doing exactly that in all of your matches thus far. I also love how no one had been able to resist locking lips with you. I hope that theme continues in your march to greatness. Since you’re feeling the wind at your back, would you be willing to give Drake some pointers as he toils away at that first on-camera victory? What does he need to do to pull all of his experience on the short end of the stick together into a winning plan?
Drake: He wins one match so he’s a pro offering lessons now? What a crock!
Mason makes sure that Drake will remember this for a long time!
Mason: Ya know, green isn’t a good color on you, boy. Anyway, Bard, I think the best advice I could give is to clear your mind, forget about all your previous matches, all your previous opponents, and come at the next one like it’s your first, a real clean slate. Now, in the case of me, that might be difficult, since I’m pretty much unforgettable, but I wish him the best of luck with that. I’d like nothing better than to see Drake turn things around and notch one in the winner’s column.
Bard: Now, that’s just sweet and sportsmanlike! Since you do have more matches on your resume, Drake, do you have any gems of wisdom to share with Mr. Magical Nipples?
Mason: Oh boy, here we go…
Drake’s advice: stay away from Jonny Firestorm!
Drake: Thank you, Mason, for your words of “wisdom.” I think there’s some solid advice in there. I will say this, you may have Bard and the others fooled with this “good guy” act, but I’m unconvinced. But here’s my advice: watch your back. And stay away from Jonny. Nothing will crush this little victory lap that you’re on faster than 5 minutes in the ring with him.
Bard: What do the two of you think about other wrestlers at BGE? In addition to Jonny, who do think are the toughest competitors currently in the mix? Which headliners are the most overhyped?
Lane Hartley: the real deal?
Drake: I think Jonny should tread lightly when it comes to Lane Hartley. The man is gorgeous and so, so deadly. Overhyped? Mason Brooks….but you said “headliners.” In all seriousness though, every guy on the roster is there for a reason, they all have something to bring to the table, and have reached their level of popularity for a reason, and I can only hope that my star continues to shine and maybe one day as bright as theirs.
Bard: Okay, Mason, Drake has just pulled all his punches. Tell us, straight from the hip, who do you think is the real deal at BGE and who’s treading on thin ice?
Skrapper and Trey Dixon – Mason wants a piece of this action!
Mason: Let’s see. I’ve seen enough of Jonny to know that he knows his stuff. Same with Ethan Axel. They both have the skills, and it shows. As for those two on the cover of our latest DVD, Skrapper and Trey, I’m not convinced. Both of them are a little too pretty to seem like much of a threat on the mats, but there’s only one way to find out for sure. I guess I’ll just have to take them both on.
Bard: I just swooned. My mind is going to spin for days trying to decide in a Mason-Skrapper-Trey sandwich, who is the filling. What do you say to prospective wrestlers thinking about trying out for BG East? Now that you’re sophomores, what can you tell aspiring homoerotic wrestlers to prepare them for what they’ll find should they make it to the dance?
Drake: First off, make sure this is really what you want to do, because once it’s out there, it’s out there. Secondly, put your training into overdrive, working for BG is not easy, it’s actually work. Now with that disclaimer, I would say that they can expect to find a feeling of homecoming: being around others with a like mind, shared vision, similar passions, camaraderie, lasting friendships, sexy wrestling (of course). However, be prepared to have your strength and endurance tested. Train like never before.
Bard: Sounds like a good gig. As I’m sitting here with you two, there are two words that keep popping up for me: tag team. A Marcos/Brooks team sounds like an awesomely sexy and dangerous pairing. Either of you thought about tag teaming?
Drake: I’m sure I can put my considerable ego aside and work with Mason, if he feels the same , especially since I know what he’s capable of now. I mean, we kind of dominated those games of pool chicken that those leaked pictures showed.
Bard: Exactly my thinking. What do you think about the idea, Mason?
They can dominate at a game of chicken in the pool. Could they team up in the ring?
Mason: Yeah, we did make a good team in the pool, and I feel like Drake was a natural in the girl’s role. It must be easier when you have a guy with a strong (and sexy) pair of legs supporting you. I would definitely be up for a tag team match, since it’s something I haven’t done yet. Especially if they paired us up against the right team. Maybe another recent winner/loser pair? We just have to be careful–watching Drake can be mesmerizing, so I might get distracted and forget to come to his rescue. Or turn on him… Nah, I’m not that kind of guy. I can be a little, uhh, what’s the word…arrogant, perhaps? But I’m also loyal to a fault. If Drake was my teammate, I’d whip both the other guys, just for bragging rights. I do so enjoy bragging.
Drake: [sighs angrily]
Bard: I’m not sure that’s a formula for victory, but I want a front row seat for that match, because that would be some sweet, sexy drama! And I couldn’t agree with you more that Drake is awfully mesmerizing to watch wrestle. Between your nipples and Drake’s pretty face, I think you two could make quite the mesmerizing duo. I knew that doing this tandem interview would turn out to be a wild ride. Anything else either of you would like to say to each other… or me… or either army of your respective fans?
Mason: I just got a chance to watch the match yesterday, and I think it’s something pretty special, so I hope everybody enjoys it as much as Drake enjoyed getting worked over by me. I’ve probably said it before, but the fans are what keep us pushing harder to look our best, fight our hardest, and make the best match videos we can. I’ve been humbled (well, almost humbled) by the amount of support and encouragement I’ve received since my debut, and it makes me eager to keep reaching for bigger and better things. Who knows what this year will hold? Maybe I’ll turn my attention to the ring. And Drake my boy, if you ever feel like getting some practice in, you know where to find me. I promise to go a little easier on you, and to leave the Sharpie at home.
Bard: Well said, of course, Mason. You have as remarkable a facility with words as you do with wrestling. And since you mention it, I have to say that despite Drake’s comment about not enjoying getting his ass kicked, I could swear he’s enjoying it at least a little when you have him racked over your back near the end of your match. His lips may say “no, no” but that swelling cock seems to sing another tune. What say you, Drake?
Drake: Listen, at the end of the day, wrestling turns me on. Whether I’m getting my ass kicked or kicking ass (it’s gonna fuckin’ happen!!!) it’s incredibly arousing to have two sweaty bodies rubbing up against each other, muscles straining, hearts racing, breaths ragged. It’s what drew me to it before and what keeps me coming back now. I’ll admit it, Mason’s hot, and the view of me across his shoulders only increases the sexiness tenfold. I mean, I am mesmerizing (as you both have stated). About fans: they are everything, seriously. I probably would have withered up by this point if I didn’t get besieged with messages when I log on to global, or when I receive an email from someone who stumbled across my blog, wanting to know when I’m getting back to it (hint: soon), or telling me they see themselves on the page. I too find myself humbled and grateful to talk to people everyday that enjoy my work as well as wrestling in general, and then getting to know them as people. The digital age has made this great big world so much smaller – the little closet gay boy out in the boonies who enjoys wrestling with his friends because of his physiological response to it and has to live vicariously through the stuff he finds on the net. I was that kid, and now I get to live out my dream. Live what you love. Granted, the world of homoerotic wrestling is a small one. We’re a niche little world and an unglamorous one but, shit, I get to live a dream!! I’ve developed some amazing friendships through this whole journey, and am eager to see what happens next and hopefully am able to give my fans (and wrestling fans in general) what they want, and have come to expect, from BG. The ride has just begun.
Bard: Obviously, Drake, you also have an awesome ability to communicate the heart and passion of what turns so many of us on about homoerotic wrestling. I’m so inspired by your eloquence that it makes me feel a little ambivalent about needing to join the swelling ranks of guys who’ve worn you out. Mason, what do you think? Should I let young Drake off the hook for all his trash talk tossed my way, or does he need yet one more serving of humble pie?
Drake: Um, you’re fine… Looking for a way out, Bard?
Mason’s flag is planted.
Bard: [laughing] No! Just thought I should check with Mason since he appears to now own you, lock, stock, and fully aroused barrel. Don’t want to plant my flag on already claimed territory.
Drake: He only thinks he owns me! And the only planting that…you want to take this outside?
Bard: If need be, sure, but settle down there buckaroo. Mason earned the right to express his opinion on the subject right around the time he had you weeping for mercy draped across his shoulders. I’d like to hear what he has to say, seeing how he has the most recent read on just how much brutality and humiliation you can survive.
Mason: As much as I would love to think that I was the one who finally gave Drake his fill of punishment, I’m sure he’s already secretly eager for more.
Bard: Oh, no Drake. I am so sorry. I think that was the sound of your last chance leaving the building.
Drake: What are you apologizing for? I’ve been itching to show you just what I can do, Bard. That was your last chance!
Bard: Well, we can sort out the details of Drake’s next drubbing between the two of us. You two have made my first 3-way a true delight, and given me a lot to contemplate. I cannot wait to see where your wrestling careers take you next, and I hope that includes a 3-way rumble between Mason, Skrapper, and Trey, and a much needed recuperative vacation for Drake once I’m done with him. I hope you’ll stay in touch, Mason, and I hope you don’t hold it against me after I spank your ass, Drake!
Drake: Bring it, Bard…your writing won’t save you on the mats. Let’s do this!
Mason: Let me know if you guys need a ref.
Bard: If you wear speedos and a smirk, you’re hired. And my mind blowing wrestling fantasy will be complete!
Little buckaroo still hoping he can find someone he can beat.
No one should try to out-pretty Pretty Pete Sharp without expecting a serious fight. Pete was the overwhelming victor in last week’s Friday Fashion poll, earning 100 votes to Darius‘ 36 votes, decisively owning having worn those baby blue Adidas trunks best. Pete may have had an unfair advantage for having chosen trunks the precise shade of his eyes. And then there’s the gargantuan bulge he’s smuggling down the front of them that’s so very persuasive as well. I still say this probably should have been the year that Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) had to turn over his best bulge title to the beast writhing underneath don’t-call-me-pretty Pretty Pete Sharp’s pouch. His consolation, I suppose, is that he wore it best.
Even Kid Karisma had to take a moment to appreciate how well Pete wore those trunks!
This week’s Friday Fashion poll was spotted by long-time friend of neverland, Jose. Jose noticed that both pre- and post- drenched in sweat, both porn star Rusty Stevens and award winning babyface, Jake Jenkins wore the identical 2xist jock straps. Rusty wore it first in his one and only appearance for BG East, the Breaking Point, making my fondest fantasy come true by giving Mitch Colby everything he’s got, including mountains of trash talk, gallons of sweat, and at least 1/2 a pint of cum. Jake showed up several catalogs later in the same fashion choice, revealed once stunningly beautiful Marco Carlow peeled Jake out of his shorts in Undagear 20. These are two very, very different wrestlers, different looks, different attitudes, different bodies, but they both wore the same gorgeous-ass-framing designer jock. But who wore it best? Vote below.
Porn star god turned hardcore homoerotic wrestler, Rusty Stevens has never failed to look good in anything and, especially, nothing. But when he still had this grey 2xist jock strap on, did he wear it best?There’s a reason this vision of beauty has won the title of top babyface two years running at BG East. But in this fashion contest, he’s up against his stiffest competition yet. He could be the most handsome stud in the stable, but did he wear it best?
Sidelineland 