I’ve been blogging about Austin Cooper for exactly 14 years. Literally, this is the 14th anniversary of my innaugural post featuring Coop when I first caught sight of him in the early days of Rock Hard Wrestling. I’ve spilled a shit ton of virtual ink marveling at Coop’s wrestling skills, larger than life character development, and, of course, he’s wicked hot muscles. He’s got to be one of the most prolific wrestlers in the wrestling-for-gay-eyes corner of the industry, appearing for multiple producers up and down the U.S. East Coast. In everything I’ve seen him in, there’s something hardcore and constant about him. He’s casually aggressive, with sadistic mean streaks even when he’s totally serving up babyface. I’ve always had this impression of Coop as right at the edge of where cocky turns into arrogant, never more so than when he really started relishing ripping less experienced wrestlers limb from limb and going full-on heel. But since he showed up back at BG East, serving up huge cuts of brawny beef, there’s this almost live-and-let-live vibe to start his matches off that’s just so down to earth and casual. I mean, he’s got even more a bulldozer feel about him, but in Backyard Brawls 19, when he offers Dio Characi the opportunity to just walk away after muscle mauling the beautiful Brazilian for just a couple of minutes, not shit, I think he’s sincere! It’s almost like he’s a little worried for Dio and doesn’t want to hurt him more than he has to. Fuck, I remember when Coop gave Leo Tomasi a bloody nose and laughed in Leo’s face about it. These days, I feel like he’s almost saying to dazzlingly pretty Dio, “Don’t make me hurt you.”
But, oh fuck, he hurts Dio a lot before this is all said and done. Of course, I’m well on may way to spilling another shit ton of virtual ink over my obsession with Dio Characi. Have I mentioned I met him in person at Wrestlefest NYC last February? Yeah, I know. I drop that treasured fact into pretty much any and every conversation that I possibly can. Dio doesn’t accept Coop’s offer to walk away, of course. In fact, the increasingly skilled, strong, and stunningly agile babyface beauty doesn’t just effectively counter, he gloats. “I have to admit, you’re pretty strong,” Dio says with that mischievous grin on his cherubic face as he stitching together a simultaneous hammerlock, choke, and ankle lock. “But I am, too.”
Dio likes to pop big bad heels in the nose and give them everything he’s got, to see if they can put a hurt on him. And he puts up a serious fight against this seasoned wrestler with so many years more experience and so many pounds more muscle. Honestly, Dio on offense is one of my favorite things these days. He follows up a headbutt to Coop’s testicles with a sneering ball claw on the stunned brute. He’s got this Bond villain laugh that’s hardwired directly to my cock, as he delights in shocking another big, bad, more experienced opponent. His crotch pillow headscissors make Coop’s stunned face turn a seriously deep shade of purple. One of the sexiest still frames in Backyard Brawls 19 is Dio mounting his opponent in a schoolboy pin, clawing the fuck out of those extra meaty pecs Coop wears these days, and then twisting on the veteran’s nipples like he’s trying to dial in Cleveland. Holy shit, he even sits on Coop’s face, gut punches the veteran, and literally spanks Austin’s legendary ass! Holy fuck, I swoon.
There are a lot of other candidates for sexiest still frames, though, and most of them feature Coop provoked far beyond any empathy or concern he might have had about not wanting to hurt his adorable opponent earlier. His Boston crab on the astonishingly flexible Brazilian serves up Dio’s athletic ass to perfection, just about to completely squeeze out of his trunks. The series of bearhugs Coop applies, turning from belly-to-back to belly-to-belly and back again, shows off every mouthwatering, aesthetic muscle on the suffering babyface. Similarly, Coop’s surfboard provides this dazzlingly hot tour of the Brazilian’s stunning body that was, just 15 minutes earlier, literally doing a round off back handspring across the yard.
Fourteen years later, Austin Cooper has evolved from one of the (literally) inaugural ripped rookies into one of the most accomplished veteran muscle heels on record. Approximately 50 matches into his BG East catalog (!!!), and I’m guessing at least that again for other companies, he’s made an indelible mark on the industry and shaped the homoerotic wrestling fantasies of a generation. And, holy shit, he leaves an indelible mark on Brazilian It-Boy Dio Characi in Backyard Brawls 19.
I feel like I see Austin Cooper everywhere. So, seeing him star in the BG East Comeback series (have I mentioned how THRILLED I am this is a series now?) was a head-tilt moment for me. Not that he wasn’t missed, but his presence is just so fucking huge in wrestling-for-gay-eyes that it feels like he’s just always been there and always will be. Which, of course, isn’t the case. I remember catching sight of him for the first time at Rock Hard Wrestling 14 years ago. Then, when about a year later he and his buddy Jake Jenkins double-debuted at BGE against one another in Ripped Rookies 1, Austin just seemed to become an immediate fixture. He’s wrestled across pretty much every platform I’ve tracked in the intervening years. His footprint on the industry is just fucking huge. He’s gotta be one of the most recorded homoerotic wrestlers ever, right? Maybe that’s just me being obsessed about him.
He’s clearly stepped away for a couple of beats, at least, though, because this is not the same old Coop showing up in the BG East Gazebo for The Comeback 4. BG East says he’s 175 pounds, just 10 pounds heavier than what he was listed when his was a ripped rookie back in that day. He looks bigger than that to me, by a lot. He’s a total muscle beast now. Like, even when he used to heel viciously, he was indisputably pretty. Now, pretty just doesn’t cut it. He looks like those significantly thicker muscles have got their own gravitational pull. He’s so fucking big, in the right way. Like, he’s got a muscle belly now, abs when flexing, and solid-as-fuck muscle gut when he’s not. I throw around the metaphor “tree trunk thighs” too often, I realize, but no shit… like Douglas Firs. I feel a little sorry for hunky little Sean Chen when this new iteration of Coop steps into the Gazebo. Sean’s a beefy kid himself, with juicy hot pecs, but fuck… Coop just looks like an avalanche about to crash down on him.
The story is pretty hilarious-turned brutal. Sean’s supposedly a total newbie. Coop sounds suspiciously un-Coop-like when he offers to go easy on the new kid, teach him a few things, ease him into the scene like only someone with the unprecedented credentials of Austin Cooper can do. And, no shit, it has a friendly vibe to it at the start. Sean’s fucking solid enough to sort of hold his ground, but Coop’s got the speed, agility, and move set of a seasoned veteran. Coop brings the kid along, clearly letting Sean try out some holds, plays catch and release with this new kid, just a little warm up of Coop’s new muscle beast bod, I suppose. Clearly, if push comes to shove, Coop is going to roll all over adorable Sean, but it’s just a friendly training session, right?
Then “accidents” start happening. Coop is charging in to snag Sean into those gargantuan arms of his when the kid sort of stumbles out of the way at the last second, sending Coop face-first into the gazebo post. Coop’s a bit suspicious that the newbie did it on purpose, but gives him a pass. A couple of minutes later when Coop clearly is letting Sean see what he can do with the veteran in a rear naked choke, Sean accidentally slams a heel into Coop’s balls. Coop’s more suspicious now, gives him a very reluctant pass this time as Sean’s falling over himself to apologize. Then from a standing position, Coop swoops in with that decisive speed of his and sweeps one of Sean’s legs out from underneath the kid. Sean’s other leg flails as he’s going down, and that foot slams solidly into Coop’s balls. Again. Hard. The veteran’s jaw is just dangling there, as he chokes on the shocked pain. And plucky little Sean just shrugs and says to no one, “Fuck it. Whatever! I’ll just use these accidents to my advantage!”
And with that, this shit gets real, fast. Hunky Sean has the audacity to schoolboy Coop (Austin Cooper!), balls resting on Austin’s bearded chin. The kid literally does push-ups with his crotch grinding into the veteran’s face. And fuck, Sean’s enjoying himself! There could totally be a little baby heel lurking inside those big beefy pecs on the kid.
I hope it was worth it, because an even bigger Austin Cooper opens up a can of whoop ass on the rookie that’s classic-Coop, dialed up to 11. Any doubts I had that Coop mellowed on sabbatical are quickly put to rest. “Five accidents!?” Coop spits. He isn’t buying the rookie’s pleading contrition anymore. He absolutely manhandles hunky little Sean. The plummeting OTK, flung down across Coop’s thigh looks like it will absolutely require chiropractic intervention, if not surgery. He doesn’t give the “accidental rookie” a break, throwing him down and instantly lifting the kid’s beefy legs by the ankles. A savage knee to the balls makes Sean bounce and writhe in horror. “That was an accident,” Coop snarls insincerely, “just so you know.”
Great to make hunky Sean’s acquaintance in his BG East debut, and hope to see more of him and those meaty pecs. We may all owe Sean a debt of gratitude, because if there was any chance Austin Cooper might have mellowed with age, that he might be a gentler, giant-er muscle beast upon his return to wrestle in front of the camera, Sean’s clumsy (or calculated?) accidents most definitely relighted the fire in Coop. It’s Austin Cooper every bit as talented, with every last hold and maneuver, all that lightning fast speed and his boiling, contemptuous rage ready to spill over, just bigger, badder, and even more unstoppable than before!
Calvin Haynes scored the clear victory for best legs with those gargantuan, thickly draped quads and beautifully bulging, veiny calves. I feel like it’s time for us to see Calvin in a seriously sexy Wrestle Worship match, with Calvin earning the the kneeling, gasping, awestruck, licking adoration those tree trunks so richly deserve .
Brad Barnes huge pec pillows came just shy of getting the outright majority of voters in a seriously beautiful field of contenders. I think the pec claw was invented for the comic book superhero proportions of Brad’s chest. I’d give a kidney for the chance to see runner-up Lon Dumont (my choice, of course) climb into the ring with Brad and tear him to shreds!
Dev Michaels pulled out the victory in the seriously competitive category of Best Arms. This category had me struggling to settle on just one of these magnificent, mountainous set of biceps, but I have to admit I went for Dev’s stunning, thickly veined, aesthetically gorgeous, and functionally devastating arms. Have we seen an opponent openly acknowledge just how fucking SEXY Dev’s muscleman bod is?
The Best Back category was another super competitive battle. Van and Dev scored an exact tie (as of my counting this morning) for second place, but it was Dr. Cooper who pulled the victory out. There’s so much about Austin to love, and I bet his beautiful tapered-V isn’t always the first thing that comes to mind to admire, but fuck, yes, his back is a work of art! I actually voted for Van, because Dark Skyler has been haunting my waking dreams since I had the pleasure of watching his Muscle Showcase last year. But I have no problems at all with crowning Coop as sporting the best back at BG East in 2020.
The Best Ink category always brings out the haters. I used to feel defensive when I’d get comments about how tattoos universally suck, and it’s a waste of a hot body to ink it up. Some of you know I sport my own ink that I actually adore, so I feel pretty swept up in the sweeping generalizations. But there are clearly plenty of us who appreciate fine body art, and by a razor-thin margin, Zip Zarella came out on top by a fraction over his indy pro buddy Elite Eliot. My vote actually went to Ash, but Eliot and Zip are perennial favorites of mine for so many reasons, not least of which is their fine, bold, in-your-face ink. The two of them burned the house down in Wrestling with Pride 1 a couple of years ago, but I ache to see them show even more pride in a rematch, strip stakes, loser kisses the winner’s ass (lovingly). And if that idea were to materialize, I hope that Eliot knows I’m ready to be his corner man.
The Prettiest Face category was the only one to turn into a total route in the polls, with Kip Sorell leaving all 4 of his competitors in the dust and taking an actual majority of votes. I’ve never been as huge a fan of Kip’s as I know most BGE fans are, not because I wouldn’t love to strip him naked and fuck him for days on end, but because he’s such a fucking jobber. Not that I don’t love jobbers, mind you, but Kip just doesn’t quite suck me in to the wrestling drama. But that’s me. He’s ridiculously pretty, nonetheless. My vote went full-heartedly for Nino, who I feel like is way under-appreciated relative to his wrestling skills, passion, and raw sexiness. But that face of his is so boy-band pretty it makes me dizzy sometimes.
It was such a nail biter to the finish for the Sexiest Nipples vote! I started crushing on Chase’s nips from about 2 seconds after I first saw him in action a few years ago, so I have no complaints about him bringing home the gold. I also started crushing on Mason’s nips about 2 seconds after I first saw him in action a couple years before I first saw Chase, so I love that their sexiest nipples rivalry that played out in Gazebo Grapplers 20 played out in the voting, as well. I didn’t expect Dev to bring home the tie with Mason for second place though, which is an awesome surprise. I think this now deserves a 3-way contest, in the ring, climaxing with Mason and Chase cooperating just enough to tie Dev in the ropes and each of them work over one of the big man’s nips until he cums hands-free.
My hearty congratulations to all the winners, and I hope that the also-rans know that you are adored by an army of devoted fans, even if you didn’t get the votes in a totally useless poll like this one (or any of them). I think every wrestler who put in an appearance in a 2020 BG East release deserves a medal for making lock-down bearable, and I would personally be more than happy to demonstrate to any one (or all) of you just how much fans worship your beauty, strength, and skill!
With some frequency, I refer to a particular wrestling hold or image as art. In saying that, I’m trying to convey what I think transcends the solely titillating aspect of the wrestling moment, and suggest that I think there’s something transcendentally aesthetic about it. Should a prude deign to take a look, I argue that said prude ought to recognize the stunning beauty displayed, whether or not they are turned on by, or in any way interested in homoerotic wrestling. Every so often, a wrestling image sparks something in my memory, reminding me that it’s not just aesthetics in the abstract that’s drawing my attention to the artfulness of a scene. Here are a few of the wrestling images that I’ve managed to track down, in the filing cabinet of my memory as well as in the catalog of available images on the internet, demonstrating homoerotic wrestling life imitating art, or, more likely, how relatively transcendent motifs, proportions, and angles echo through different artistic genres, including homoerotic wrestling.
Hercules wrestling Antaeus has haunted me ever since I first saw Steve Reeves, as Hercules, play out this scene in Hercules Unchained. The key plot point of the myth is that Antaeus must be suspended off the ground in order to deny him the inexhaustible strength he draws from contact with the earth. So big, lifting bearhugs abound in artistic renderings of this moment. I believe this bronze of the scene, with a gorgeous, dominating reverse bearhug, is on display in Vienna. Similarly, BG East’s Johnny Modesto is Hercules to Brad Rochelle’s Antaeus in Matmen 16.
The first time I visited Stockholm, I took about 1,000 photos of the Sun Singer, a naked Apollo greeting the rising sun. It’s a pose of celebration and vulnerability. If you’re ever walking around Stockholm, you can’t avoid gazing at the spectacle of beauty, with his arms raised invitingly toward the sun. Austin Cooper’s pose for the BG East promotion of Hunkbash 14, both in substance and shadow, accomplishes the same ends, and similarly, I can’t take my eyes off his magnificent ass!
This bronze of the classical sculpture The Wrestlers has been often reproduced, though the oldest surviving version of it is, I believe, in Florence. It’s so directly erotically-inclined, it’s no wonder homoerotic mat wrestling regularly draws to my mind the allusion to this sensational image of intimacy and domination, with naked wrestlers (with perfectly muscled bodies) entangled so completely that it’s not always apparent which limb belongs to which combatant. I grabbed this comparable vintage black and white image from BG East’s Arena (Vintage Collections). I don’t know it’s provenance, but it so perfectly captures every last angle, that it almost certainly had to have been posed. Clearly, I’m not the only one who sees the homoerotic text and subtext in it!
The Torah telling of Jacob wrestling with the angel has inspired many artistic visions throughout history. The heavily muscled bearhugs are my personal favorites, like this French oil painting, with a naked Jacob who I wouldn’t mind squeezing me in nice and tight like that. Damien Rush captures the futility of Leloir’s angel, grasping at big Joe Robbins huge arms that, once latched on, will not let go until satisfaction is attained. There’s plenty to appreciate in Demolition 23!
Finally, back to Stockholm, because… Swedes. This sculpture of the Fången Viking (“captured viking”) again highlights the aesthetic beauty of youthful power tamed, constrained, and displayed in intimate vulnerability. A handcuffed Nino Leone, pinned against the mat room wall by Kayden Keller in BG East Grudge Match 6, signals the same gorgeous vulnerability.
Damien Rush is one of those wrestlers I love to hate. I fucking hate that guy with a passion. I once told the behind-the-scenes studs at BG East that I wouldn’t write their website match descriptions for Damien’s matches any longer, because my head would explode if I heard him growl the phrase “alpha dog” just one more time. Of course, I think my embargo lasted no more than 2 or 3 catalogs, before I saw him impeccably paired with some sensational favorite of mine, and I was irresistibly drawn to discover if my pick would plow Damien under like he deserves.
The best wrestling body money can buy
Fuck, I hate that guy. It may be my proletariat roots, separated as I am by no more than a generation from coal miners and steel workers who would have sooner pissed on daddy’s-little-richboy Damien than given him the time of day. He’s so fucking over the top with his 1% pedigree and his “best training money can buy.” He’s got nutritionists and personal trainers and wrestling coaches, and he climbs into the ring with hard working hunks who’ve earned every ounce of opportunity that Damien has been spoon fed from the cradle. Fuck, I hate that guy.
And then the pecs bounce…
He’s in rare form when he climbs into the ring against Austin Cooper in Forced to Flex 3. By rare form, I mean he’s impossibly buff, draped with luxurious muscle, thick head of coiffed hair, periwinkle briefs sown around his wasp-thin waist and meaty glutes. I also mean he’s in rare form because he’s monologuing like a Batman villain, predicting his rising stock price launched that much higher on the back of the living legend, Austin Cooper. “Everyone knows Damien Rush is the best, the wealthiest, the most supreme wrestler in the ring.” Fuck, I HATE it when Damien refers to himself in the third person like a fucking 16th century monarch. Then he bounces his huge, hairy pecs, and I sort of despise myself for the involuntary response in my crotch.
Damien won’t even deign to compare muscles with Austin Cooper
I adore a forced-to-flex match, and there’s no way I could avert my eyes from the chance that it could be Damien so completely humiliated. This is Austin Cooper, after all. For those keeping tabs, this is Dr. Cooper, M.D. (master of destruction). Austin’s mild-mannered, babyface alter-ego could very well get crushed by the likes of dandy and diabolical Damien Rush, but when Dr. Cooper climbs into the ring, all bets are off. He demands to get the full tour of Damien’s bought-and-paid-for muscles, but Damien refuses to take orders from a member of the hoi polloi. “You don’t want to flex? I’m going to make you flex,” Austin predicts (and my crotch jumps to attention again).
Totally overpowering (damn it)
If I’m being entirely honest and frank (which, of course I am), Damien dwarfs Dr. Cooper, which is a seriously fucking big deal. Austin is gorgeous and thickly muscled and every inch the goldenboy he always is, but no shit, Damien is noticeably bigger. His biceps are about as big around as Austin’s head. His hairy pecs, shockingly, put Austin’s lovely chest in second place. It’s irritatingly child’s play for the blueblood to easily dominate an opening test of strength. “Yeah,” Damien scoffs, bearing down and threatening to snap Austin’s wrists, “I don’t think I’m going to need to flex any of these muscles.”
Austin goes for a ride
I’m livid when Damien throws Austin to the mat like yesterday’s trash. I’m literally yelling at the screen furiously when Austin bounces off the mat like the pro he is, only to be nearly decapitated with a vicious clothesline. Holy shit, those 20″ biceps on Damien can do some serious damage! Like fucking child’s play, he hoists Cooper up across one shoulder, holds him there like a boss, and then slams him to his back, brutally. It’s like the 2016 election night nightmare all over again, as I watch the Park Avenue loudmouth latch on a totally dominating full nelson and wring Austin out like a wet washcloth. Austin grunts. He flexes his gorgeous muscles, his face screwed up in concentration. And then Damien literally laughs at the goldenboy’s total impotence. Fuck! Is this the match that pushes that fucking arrogant prick into legitimate contention!?
“Damn right, you obey Austin Cooper!”
I won’t spoil every moment of the match, but I will say that my initial adrenaline pump of rage turns into a sustained adrenaline pump of lust as the wheels start to come off of Damien’s Aston Martin. Dr. Cooper nearly rips the hairy hunk in half at the groin until Damien obediently flexes his gargantuan biceps on command. “That’s damn right, you obey Austin Cooper!” Austin works up a head of steam, fucking up the richboy’s right knee in a figure-4 leglock, until Damien sucks on the humiliation of flexing his peaks again, as ordered. “You don’t have to do this,” Damien begs like the cream puff he genuinely is underneath all of that hired muscle. And, of course, Austin doesn’t have to do this, which just makes it that much more delightful to watch him do it, nonetheless, and with so much passion. “Look at me,” Dr. Cooper orders when Damien is literally hiding his face in his hands to cover his shame. “I want to see your pain-face!” Me. Fucking. Too!
Holy fuck, this is art!
An enticing plot development is just how much Dr. Cooper appreciates Damien’s undeniably stunning body. He takes a special interest in the magnificently wide lats on the blueblood prince. In a picture-perfect kneeling surfboard, Austin is ripping him apart at those hugely bulging shoulders, when he transitions to digging his claws into Damien’s lats and prying him backward by the flaring back muscles. I don’t think I’ve ever quite seen something like this move before, and it’s compelling at shit. Damien screams like a wounded animal, which certainly makes sense. “Where did you get those lats?” Austin asks with genuine wonder in his voice. “How much did those cost?” Damien can’t answer. He just screams, which sort of pisses me off, because I was genuinely hoping to hear him quote the hundreds of thousands of dollars he’s invested in his physique-staff. “You gotta talk to the Wright brothers,” Austin chuckles, ripping the muscle from the bone. “You just might be able to fly with these things!” It’s taunting and that much more humiliating that he’s delivering these compliments even as he’s making the Park Avenue beast weep and beg. But I am honestly super turned on just hearing Austin acknowledging just how hugely muscled his prey is. He drags Damien up and literally hoists him off his feet by the lat claws (fuck!!!). He parades the man-baby around the ring screaming and pleading, “Please, please, pleeeeease! I give!” BG East ought to bottle those tears and sell them as champagne. Ship me a couple of cases!
Austin molds Damien’s muscles like clay, twisting him up in a sensationally nasty abdominal stretch. “Flex your quads,” Austin barks. “Hit ’em! I want you to flex them so hard you get a muscle cramp.” Damien is carved and served up like leftover turkey, so he has no choice. He flexes those thick, hairy, sweaty quads, and I can’t help myself but ache with a desire to lick his quivering, inner thighs. When Austin throws him down and shoves his own beautiful, bronzed legs in Damien’s face, the pampered powerhouse stares at the naked truth that his yes-men are too afraid to tell him: Austin’s quads are objectively superior. “Have you ever even seen real quads?” Austin sneers at him. “Look at that right there!”
Austin (and I) want Damien on his knees.
“Now, I want you to get on your knees,” Austin explains (channeling my fantasy), “and tell me how sorry you are. Beg me to let you out of my ring.” Fuck, yes. All of that. But the beaten rich boy digs deep into his heritage and cheats. Viciously, he wracks Austin’s balls. It’s not like I’m surprised, but I still have to bark my frustration out loud at the screen. “Did you have fun torturing my legs, my abs, my back?” he asks. “Well, you failed to pay attention to my chest!” He scoops Coop up into a stunningly sexy bearhug. He parades the goldenboy around the ring helplessly, pounding him into the corners, shaking him like a rag doll.
But just when I think my dreams of seeing Dr. Cooper totally humble the rich boy are about to be dashed, Damien cannot help himself but monologue and flex when he should be sealing the deal. Fuck, the unrestrained hubris on this prick! Austin brings Damien’s momentum to a screeching halt with a knee to the gut. “You told me I forgot something, huh?” Austin says, catching his breath, dragging his gasping opponent up to his feet. Again, in a sweet innovation, Dr. Cooper slides in nice and close from behind, reaches underneath Damien’s huge arms. It’s like he’s about to go for a full nelson, but instead, he digs his claws into the blueblood’s huge, hairy pecs. Fuck me, that is a sexy, sexy position! Damien weeps like a man-baby again, as he’s lifted off his feet by the pec claws. “Flex your traps!” Coop orders. True enough, Damien possesses superhuman, gargantuan, hairy traps. “Hit your traps! You’re going to regret it if you don’t!” Damien sobs just a little, but he obeys.
“Flex your traps, or you’re going to regret it!”
There’s more in store for Damien-fucking-Rush, and I’m here for every second of it. The Park Avenue prince begs and cries. He obediently flexes the muscles that his opponent calls out, as he pleads for the mercy that you know full well he would never grant in return. Not that it’s an issue as Dr. Cooper wears him the fuck out. He’s been so successfully broken and terrorized, that he starts flexing for his opponent’s pleasure as soon as Coop slaps him into a dragon sleeper. Austin just laughs. “Hit all the flexes you want, but at the end of the day, you’re going night-night.” Damien whimpers. He begs. He quivers. “Say, ‘Austin Cooper is the greatest.'” The one-percenter’s voice is muffled, deep up Austin’s underarm, but he croaks out, “Austin Cooper is the greatest!”
“Austin Cooper… is… the greatest!”
Fuck, I LOVE watching Damien Rush get humiliated! The only thing that would make this moment better would have been having Damien’s rich-prick daddy and his entourage of personal trainers, wrestling coaches, and assorted ass-kissers at ringside, watching him suffer, beg, and get owned entirely.
Like I’ve said repeatedly, I hate Damien Rush with a passion that speaks to what a brilliantly compelling character he is in the ring. He wins just often enough to keep my outrage alive, but it’s a moment like this reckoning at the hands of Austin Cooper that seriously fuels my homoerotic wresting fantasies. In real life, Damien may be a total mensch. For all I know, he volunteers at his local homeless shelter and fosters rescue dogs. But in the ring, he’s an incredibly hot, hunky, brash, annoying. offensively over-inflated cocky asshole who leaves me aching for the opportunity to climb into the ring after Austin has left him out cold in a pool of his own sweat and tears, to work out some of my own frustrations with the vicissitudes and inhumanity of the worst injustices of unchecked capitalism.
I’ve often written about just how titillating I find it to see behind-the-scenes images of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers. It’s like how I get off more on Clark Kent than Superman (true story, also related to why I get off on hunks in glasses). Several years ago, I received the first of several batches of candid photos of BG East wrestlers, clearly taken before, sometimes during, or occasionally after since-published matches. These photos come to me anonymously and shrouded in mystery, much to the annoyance of powers that be at BG East, as well as some of the wrestlers. I know for a fact that at least one wrestler, accused of being the mole, was threatened with bodily harm if he were discovered to be the one smuggling BGE intellectual property off site and leaking it to the media (I love being considered “the media”!). But thus far, Our Man Inside (or OMI, as I affectionately refer to him) has remained unmasked, and the plucky mother fucker has continued to sneak shots my way, risking life and limb, just to get me (and you) hard. Fuck, I love that guy!
Diabolical Dr. Cooper with a gorgeously sweet smile, perhaps just before fucking up Calvin Haynes in Undagear 33
I am thrilled to announce that OMI apparently continues to work among the crew at BG East, because he just dropped me a bunch of new contraband. As always, there’s absolutely no context given for any of these shots. Some of the look like they came from recent releases, and some of them look like they may foreshadow yet-unreleased match-ups. The men are all gorgeous, of course, but it’s the unguarded, half-shy smiles, that turn me on so hard. There are real life, beautiful young men behind the larger-than-life wrestling personas they put on to compete at the elite level of homoerotic wrestling. I love catching that glimpse of the wrestlers just being guys, playful, shy, quirky, and effortlessly themselves.
Ace Aarons chills in the ring, maybe around the time of Grudge Match IV (judging by the gear)
Thanks, OMI. You are truly my hero, and your courage and commitment to feeding my libido leave me owing you a debt I fear I will never have the pleasure to repay!
The Man of My Dreams, Scott Williams, IRL makes Poseidon look pedestrian! Why in the fuck is this gorgeous specimen not still actively wrestling on camera!?Delicious Devil Devitt makes goofy look so, so fucking sexy! Judging by the sensationally tight, sexy gear, I’m guessing he was just about to put the devil eyes on and bash the shit out of Alexi Adamov.Devitt looks just a little (adorably) self-concious showing off his magnificent physique. This look like the gear he wore teaming with Paul Hudson in Tag Team Torture 10.Then he turns on the heat, and flashes those deadly eyes mid-fucking-up Paul Hudson in Pros In Private 13 (nasty divorce!)Paul looks embarrassed of the camera. Fuck, he needs a cuddle.Heartthrob Calvin Haynes first flashes blue steel, hanging out pre-match……then Calvin turns up the goofy factor. Fuuuuuck, I want to lick his thighs!
It’s been a long time since I composed a post devoted solely to admiring a particular wrestling hold. I’ve been recently obsessing once again over my favorite wrestling hold, the over-the-knee backbreaker.
It’s such a massively dominating move. The pitcher often literally cradles the catcher like a child in his arms, clutching him across his chest, and then drops to one knee, pounding his opponent’s back across his thigh. I love the geography of this hold. The victim splayed out, his vulnerable core stretched wide, legs and upper body pressed backward such that he can’t assume the instinctive duck and cover defensive position to protect his internal organs.
I catch myself gasping in awe at high impact OTKs. There’s a raw, primal, intensely arousing aspect to watching a dominant hunk seriously pound his opponent down with authority, his knee driving viciously into the helpless stud’s spine. It’s magnificent drama when he scoops him directly back up across his chest, standing tall and hoisting the victim high to repeat the move again. And again. Total domination.
I also also love an OTK punisher with big, bulging pecs flexing powerfully, his face hovering so close to his opponent’s muscled torso and quivering crotch. Stretched out on his back, the victim of an OTK is flattened, the topography of his physique stretched out and impotent, in contrast to the flaring shoulders and pumped pecs of his tormentor.
Then there are the subtle variations and innovations that dial up the inherent eroticism of this hold in a homoerotic context. The stolen moments to take advantage of the victim’s helplessness, sadistically brutalizing muscled abs and pecs. Not content to just torture his spine, the man in charge pounds fists, drives in elbows, perhaps digs his finger tips into defenseless muscle and wear him out from every angle.
Ace Aarons handles Richie’s rocks
Richie’s balls demand Mason’s attention as well.
An OTK seems paradigmatically gay (or at least bicurious) when the dominant hunk pays serious attention to that tempting bulge at the apex of his opponent’s bridge. Frankly it doesn’t often go there even in homoerotic wrestling, but every OTK seems like a head nod to those sensational moments when a wrestler leans forward and sucks his opponent’s nipple, seductively slides the palm of his hand possessively across his lower abs, and appreciatively throttles and fondles his arching cock. That’s the heart of homoerotic wrestling for me, with the purpose of the battle to determine who gets to take possession of whose body.
Calvin’s muscle melt
Mitch stiff and in agony
I’m fascinated watching muscled hunks sell this hold. Clearly some wrestlers are built a lot more for strength than flexibility. A stiff, tabletop OTK actually works for me because it looks like it hurts just that much more. When a muscle laden stud doesn’t really have much of a lower back arch to bend across his opponent’s thigh, it also just seems that much more humiliating. But there’s nothing quite as arousing as watching a flexible hunk melt into the hold, bridging dramatically, as if his muscles are draped across a hanger. The submissiveness, the giving himself over blindly to man who’s claimed his body, is golden.
My gratitude to all of the homoerotic wrestlers who have recently fed my craving for OTK hotness. For those moments when you’ve reached through your opponents legs and cupped his beefy ass in the palm of your hand, I salute you. For your graceful bridge and packed, quivering bulge gasping in anticipation of whatever is to come at the mercy of your opponent, I applaud you. I realize this hold is not exactly intuitive to pull off, and for many of you it’s downright awkward as fuck to sell, so I appreciate the gorgeous erotic art of your human sculpture just that much more.
I continue to find Zip Zarella one of the most reliably entertaining and arousing wrestlers turning my crank in new releases these days. I love his body about 85% as enthusiastically as Zip does (which says A LOT). He has that kind of face that makes me unconsciously devoted to doing anything it takes to make him flash his boyish smile (seriously, anything, Zip). I love his combination of playfulness, dangerousness, and his unflinching nod to the gay gaze of a homoerotic wrestling audience.
“This bromance isn’t going to last long,” Coop predicts.
I was also an early adopter for Zip’s tag team partner Cap Landon as well. Charlie Evans’ new releases are just too far and few between to fully satiate my sexy, skinny boy moods, and Cap fills that empty space nicely. Zip and Cap seem to bring out the best in each other in Zip’s Spotlight. They’re posing their contrasting bodies, flexing their mouthwatering muscles and practically licking their lips with hungry excitement upon learning that they get to sink their teeth into a solo Austin Cooper. “Oh yeah, easy night to night, brother, two on one,” Cap purrs, flashing his compelling, superlean double bicep side-by-side with his partner. Astonishingly, Zip shares the mirror, perhaps seeing what I see, which is some awesome complementary aesthetics, with his pale partner making Zip’s beefy, tanned double-bicep that much more stunningly sexy. “We’re green, and we’re mean, baby!” Zip crows, turning to the side and checking out his meaty ass in the mirror (me too, Zip).
“It’s so hard!” Zip gasps.
Austin refers to their simpatico as a “bromance” when he struts his legendary physique into the ring and snarls at the earnest twosome determined to pick him apart. “What do we got, a couple of leprechauns here,” Austin asks rhetorically, critiquing their matching, shiny green trunks. “Here are some real muscles come up in here,” Coop smirks, pumping his own fitness model double bicep intending to swipe away all memory of Zip and Cap’s gun show. “Moderate, at best,” Cap spontaneously disparages Coop’s legendarily hot muscles, not because Cap thinks his own muscles measure up, but as an almost intimate compliment to his partner’s heavy artillery. “You’ve got this,” Cap murmurs from the ring apron, with a little hero worship enthusiasm toward Double Z as Austin and Zip start to circle one another. “Your partner is fucking dead,” Austin growls at Zip as they crash their beautifully built physiques into one another.
“Your partner’s questioning me,” Coop snarls at Zip.
Coop is a fucking beast in this match. I wouldn’t say he’s full-on channeling his heel master alter ego Dr. Cooper, but the seasoned veteran muscleman gets a solid grip on the initiative and wrings a whole lot of anguish out of aspiring “body guy” Zip. Now, I have more than a passing familiarity with Zip’s work, so I’m not too worried that the ring savvy pro can weather the storm and come back strong. But Cap seems a little worried. When Coop shoves Zip’s lower back violently into a turnbuckle, Cap bitches from the ring apron, “Get him out of the corner!” When Coop scoops Zip up into about the third of an infinite string of near coital rear bearhugs, there’s a twinge of desperation in Cap’s voice as he pleads with his partner, “You’ve got to stop letting him do that to you!” Zip’s jaw hangs open, struggling to endure the crushing embrace. “It’s so hard,” Zip gasps, which is lovely double entendre considering Coop has hoisted him off his feet and Zip’s muscled ass cheeks are pinned against Coop’s crotch. “He’s so strong,” Zip concedes with more than a little bit of awe for his opponent’s power.
“You’ve got to stop letting him do that to you,” Cap advises his partner, unhelpfully.
If this were a straight up singles competition between Coop and Zip, it would be a great muscleman vs. muscleman contest. The wild card here is Cap, whose cheerleading for his partner and insults flung at their opponent is stirring the pot. “I”m showing him who Austin Cooper is,” Coop narrates his dominating performance for Cap. “Who’s that,” Cap snaps back with a lot of frustrated contempt. In a rage, Coop abruptly hoists Zip’s 205 pounds across his shoulders in a fireman’s carry in a stunning display of power. “Your partner is questioning me,” Coop says to Zip by way of explaining his growing motivation to break Zip hard. The more Cap spouts off from outside the ring, the worse conditions grow for Zip inside the ring. The 2-on-1 advantage suddenly seems to be backfiring.
Austin: “You want to see see how strong I am?” Zip: “Sure!”
Coop hobbles Zip like a boss and then sends him scurrying to the corner to tag in his partner. You can tell his vicarious torture of Zip isn’t going to be nearly as satisfying for Coop as it will be to bear down on 140 pound Cap directly. While Zip is licking his wounds outside the ring (I volunteer to help you with that, too, Zip), Coop unleashes a clinic of power moves on the lightweight smart ass. Cap’s feet don’t touch the ground for many minutes at a time. Coop hoists him up across his chest with absolutely zero effort and, with a flourish, pounds him down into a violent OTK. Cap screams and squirms helplessly as his opponent impales his lower abdomen with deep elbow strikes. When Coop scoops him back up off his knee, standing back up with Cap cradled helplessly across his chest, he asks, “You want to see how strong I am?” Now, in the moment, I’m thinking that it’s a rhetorical question. But Zip is so entranced by Coop’s power (perhaps still lingering on the memory of just how “hard” that rear bearhug was a few minutes ago), Double Z can’t help himself but blurt out the answer, “Sure!”
“Oh, this is embarrassing!”
“No, no, don’t say that,” Cap protests in a panic. Coop fulfill’s Zip’s wish by gorilla pressing Cap straight-armed overhead, and then draping the skinny boy’s body around his neck like a scarf. Zip is visibly impressed with the move. Abruptly, Coop flings Cap around his neck and, in one motion, violently drops him into a tailbone-trashing atomic drop. Fuck, it’s such a high impact move I sort of wonder if Cap’s prostrate got a little thrill from Coop’s knee impaling him. “Are you okay,” Zip asks his bromantic partner with sincere concern in his voice. Cap literally can’t answer, clutching his ass and writhing on the mat breathlessly. Coop rolls on relentlessly, yanking the skinny boy into a kneeling surfboard, positioning the hold deliberately for Zip to watch the torture play across his partner’s face. “Oh, this is embarrassing,” Zip confesses.
“Come on, tap out, BITCH!”
Look at me, turning myself on just trying to narrate this sexy, sexy bit of this match. Before I get further carried away, let me pan back and just say that I stand up and cheer when Coop basically insists on taking the both of them on at the same time. It’s a great bit of hubris-meets-instant-karma when team leprechaun starts to beat the shit out of him in tandem. Personally, I would have been profoundly satisfied to just watch Zip and Cap rip apart the legendary Austin Cooper and enact a perfectly synchronized muscle mauling. Coop has the elusive power to make me lust to see him dominate as Dr. Cooper, and yet crush like hell on seeing him plowed under as the babyfaced golden boy. “You’ve got nothing, big man,” Zip crows, kicking him to the mat so the two of them can make Coop’s juicy ass jiggle as they stomp him from head to toe and back again. Zip snaps his gargantuan thighs around Coop’s gut, forcing the air out of his lungs, a second before Cap zip ties his legs scissored tight around Coop’s throat, refusing to allow the muscleman any chance of replenishing the oxygen in his lungs. “Come on, tap out, bitch,” Cap snarls in his face.
“My two, little, green bitches!”
That, in and of itself, is worth the price of admission. 140 pounder Cap Landon calling 170 pound fitness phenom Austin Cooper a bitch and, successfully, demanding that he tap out is all I need. It is not all we get in this match, though. Hubris-turned-instant-karma strikes again as team leprechaun celebrates a little too much, giving Coop the chance to rally. Coop demonstrates why he’s a legendary fan-favorite, starting to handle the both of them with power and precision. He isolates them in turn, seemingly feeding off of the reserves that he’s siphoning off of each of them.
“Stay here and think about what you’re going to do, you little bitch!”
You know from the DVD menu that Cap and Zip finish off this collection with a grudge match, so it shouldn’t be too much of a spoiler to reveal that all of that tag team partner love and mutual admiration comes crashing down around them as Coop manages to single-handedly dish out heaping helpings of humiliation. Blame rains down on everyone except for the man who rightfully deserves the credit for the undoing of team leprechaun.
This could have been such a lovely legendary ass kicking.
This could so have gone a totally different direction. Not that I’m complaining, mind you, but honestly, the chemistry between Cap and Zip was a thing of beauty. I seriously wanted to see their post-victory love fest, Cap leaping into Zip’s big arms, hugging it out, slapping each other’s asses appreciatively. Cap as the Bruce Wayne’s ward and apprentice, hero worshipping the muscleman in this dynamic duo, could have been so right. Fuck, Cap being unable to restrain himself from treating Zip to an enthusiastic muscle massage as thanks for saving his bacon and captaining a successful campaign to fuck over a legend would have made such perfect sense.
This could have gone a totally different direction.
But alas, bitter betrayal as a set-up for a mismatched grudge match comes in a close second.
Congratulations to the winners of the BG East Besties for 2017! It was a fabulous year in homoerotic wrestling, and all of the nominees demonstrated the deep bench that BG East can rightfully boast. Some of my picks earned the most votes overall. Some didn’t. They all (but one) get nothing but respect from me. It’s certainly not the first time I’ve seen evidence that my tastes intersect and diverge with other homoerotic wrestling fans. Happily, there’s plenty for all of us to enjoy, and awards or not, my sincere thanks go out to the beautiful men in front of and behind the camera that make BG East a leader in wrestling for a gay audience.
Sexiest Match: Sexiest Match – Ty Alexander vs. Bruno LaBestia (Ringwars 28)
Bruno enjoys the taste of victory
Best Mat Battle: Austin Cooper vs. Christian Taylor (Undagear 28)
The biggest upset of the year (not a category) had to be Austin Cooper getting owned by Christian Taylor
Best Ring Match: Cole Cassidy vs. Joshua Goodman (Ringwars 26)
This hold alone is already the stuff of legend
Best Squash: Lane Hartley vs. Kirk Donahue (Demolition 22)
I’ve learned that discussing how I vote in the BG East Besties is dangerous territory. The longer I’ve been blogging about homoerotic wrestling, the more I’ve grown to know many of the hard working men who make it happen. They never begrudge me my vote, but when I handicap the field and disclose how I cast my ballot, I’ve needed to smooth over some ruffled feathers and tend to friendships at times. So here are some special instructions for the BG East wrestlers I know and have affection for: don’t take any of this too seriously. We love you all. This is way more about the fans than it is about you.
With that preamble out of the way, let’s dig into the Bestie nominations posted on Friday. As opposed to my own personal categories of favorites that I started sharing yesterday, these are my thoughts on those that BG East has nominated for their awards. I don’t see when polls will close, but I’ll try to make this quick so that it may inform any undecided voters looking for tips.
1. Sexiest Match
Instantly, I’m navigating those complicated waters with the first category. I’ve met six of the wrestlers involved in the six nominated matches and interviewed most of those. There’s a spectacular double debut match that burned holes in my retina it was so hot. None of these were misses, but some hit the spot just a little more squarely than others for me. The nominees are…
Ty Alexander vs. Steve Mason (Wrestleshack 21)
Drake Marcos vs. Goren Ford (X-Fights 45)
Ty Alexander vs. Bruno LaBestia (Ringwars 28)
Tommie Hawk vs. Noah Samson (Undagear 28)
Kayden Keller vs. Leon Cyrus (X-Fights 44)
Cage Thunder vs. Mitch Colby (Motel Madness 14)
When I sort through who to vote for sexiest match, I look for a match where both wrestlers express explicit, mutual lust. Kissing is nearly essential. Naked bodies and fully engaged cocks are a major plus. I want to believe that the action is stimulating the wrestlers as much as it is me. Of these nominees, the match that did this best is, arguably, Ty Alexander vs. Steve Mason in Wrestleshack 21. It hits all of my buttons, and the big (HUGE) reveal of Steve’s crotch monster is epic. My fall back option is the astonishingly sexy match between Tommie Hawk and Noah Samson in Undagear 28. Since Ty is splitting the vote this year, I’m guessing that someone else may take the popular vote, but honestly, I don’t even have a good guess as to who that will be.
2. Best Mat Battle
The best mat category is probably the most competitive for me this year. I met 5 of the hunks in these nominated matches last summer and was delighted by them all. When it comes to evaluating mat matches, I look for competitive, intimate, battles with long held moves and close ups of exquisite anguish. I like to see amateur moves translated into a gay, pro context. I prefer the serious sell, with big egos convincing me that they want it, and that the final, humiliating victory is up for grabs. The nominees this year are…
Kirk Donahue vs. Carter Alexander (Backyard Brawls 9)
Cage Thunder vs. Mitch Colby (Motel Madness 14)
Tino Valencia vs. Ski Vance (Catch Weight 8)
Austin Cooper vs. Christian Taylor (Undagear 28)
Calvin Haynes vs. Nino Leone (Catch Weight 8)
Ace Aarons vs. Ash DeLeon (Mat Rookies 3)
So much to choose from! I’m bitterly torn between Austin Cooper vs. Christian Taylor in Undagear 28 and Ace Aarons vs. Ash DeLeon in Mat Rookies 3. My hunch is that when it comes time to pull the lever, I’ll go with the shockingly intense Undagear match with that sensationally surprising ending. My hunch is that the popular vote will swing to Austin and Christian as well, as two of the popular headliners that regularly draw the fans (an advantage over Ace and Ash). Cage and Mitch’s match is, however, already the stuff of legends. But if you really like shocking endings, Calvin and Nino’s battle is soooo sweetly surprising. Damn. This category is tough for me.
3. Best Ring Match
In judging the quality of a ring match, I’m looking for a match that exploits the context. I want a match that treats pro wrestling with the respect it deserves. I like to see power and speed, with a strong narrative and larger than life characters. The nominees for best ring match are…
Joey King vs. Zip Zarella (Ring Kings)
Jonny Firestorm vs. Kirby Stone (Pros in Private 11)
Kid Karisma vs. Jobe Zander (Bulge Battles 1)
Kid Karisma vs. Ethan Andrews (Heel Bash 2)
Cole Cassidy vs. Joshua Goodman (Ringwars 26)
Toney Rico vs. Chase Addams (Ringwars 28)
Another highly competitive slate! Kid Karisma may split his vote. My vote will almost certainly go with Toney Rico vs. Chase Addams in Ringwars 28 this year (see my review for all of the reasons). Kid K and Jobe is awfully close, though. Jonny vs. Kirby has got to be the best ring wrestling of the year, but the narrative isn’t as colorful as Toney and Chase’s. Cole and Joshua put together the most colorful characters and delightful drama, but the wrestling isn’t as pro-forward. My very tentative guess as to who the majority will break for is Jonny and Kirby, mostly based on the hardcore Jonny fanatics out there.
4. Best Squash
My least favorite category. Though I know a lot of you love a good squash. I guess when squashes work for me, I have a reason to both particularly want to see the victim suffer and the dominator dish it out. I also need to be convinced by the stud on the receiving end. Squashes can become boring for me, so the guy getting squashed needs to seriously convince me that he’s hurting, and he’s not phoning it in. This year’s nominees are…
Kayden Keller vs. Carter Alexander (Wrestler Spotlight: Kayden)
Thrash vs. El Favorito (Masked Mayhem 12)
Kid Karisma vs. Reese Wells (Ringwars 27)
Lane Hartley vs. Kirk Donahue (Demolition 22)
Kid Vicious vs. Devon Britt-Darby (Gut Bash 13)
Cap Landon vs. Kelly King (Knock Outs 3)
My choice is Kayden vs. Carter in Kayden’s Wrestler Spotlight. While I do love watching Kayden dig back from a deficit, I never grow tired of watching him plow pretty boys under. I’ve also had a craving to watch Carter getting hurt ever since he let slip in his match with Kid Karisma that he not-so-secretly (anymore) enjoys getting his hair pulled as he’s dominated. For a squash, Kayden keeps the pace intense, and Carter suffers exquisitely. He has this choking, half-laugh sob that makes my crotch twitch. A close second place in this category for me is Thrash vs. El Favorito, though El Favorito has more offense than I typically credit to a squash. Same goes for Kid K vs. Reese. I’ll guess the majority will break either for Kayden and Carter or Lane and Kirk, depending on whether the tide breaks for the leaning-to-erotic or the hardcore indy pro vibe.
5. Best Submissions
Somehow making this category plural clears up my confusion about how to evaluate it. I’m using a standard of making my pick based on the number, variety, and creativity of submissions in a given match. The nominees for the match with the best submissions this year are…
Austin Cooper vs. Christian Taylor (Undagear 28)
Tino Valencia vs. Skip Vance (Catch Weight 8)
Kayden Keller vs. Richie Douglas (Kayden’s Wrestling Spotlight)
Jonny Firestorm vs. Kirby Stone (Pros in Private 11)
Joey King vs. Zip Zarella (Ring Kings)
Chase Addams vs. Charlie Evans (Ring Rookies 5)
By a long shot, for this category I’m going with Jonny vs. Kirby in Pros in Private 11. The submissions fly nearly frantically, except everything is polished, exacting, and precise. Both of these pros are marvelously talented, and they bring out the best (and worst) in each other. It’s just an added bonus that Kirby’s ass drives me crazy. When it comes to the rest of the field, my next choice is a tie between Chase and Charlie and Joey and Zip. I won’t be surprised if Jonny and Kirby win this category, but if not, I suspect it could swing Austin and Christian’s way.
6. Hottest Liplock
When I’m deciding which wrestling liplock is hottest, I’m looking for passion. I prefer liplocks harshly ambivalent, with equal parts rage and lust. The nominees this year are as follows…
Christian Taylor vs. Mason Brooks (Bedroom Brawl 3)
Calvin Haynes vs. Nino Leone (Catch Weight 8)
Ash DeLeon vs. Ace Aarons (Mat Rookies 3)
Lauden Sevior vs. Drake Marcos (Undagear 27)
Nino Leone vs. Bruno LaBestia (Wrestleshack 21)
Ty Alexander vs. Steve Mason (Wrestleshack 21)
I’m solidly voting for Ash and Ace in Mat Rookies 3. Talk about a gorgeous concoction of passionate lust and passionate aggression! Damn. A runner-up option for me would be Lauden and Drake. I don’t know who the popular vote will follow, but if I had to guess, I’d say Ty and Steve, based mostly on Ty’s get-out-the-vote credentials.
7. Best Overall Match
This category seems self-explanatory. I feel obligated to swing toward one of the “Best of” matches I’ve already picked, though there are a couple of matches in this category that weren’t nominated above, which makes open to a dark horse pick in my mind. In any case, this is the slate of nominees:
Cole Cassidy vs. Joshua Goodman (Ringwars 26)
Jonny Firestorm vs. Kirby Stone (Pros in Private 11)
Ty Alexander vs. Bruno LaBestia (Ringwars 28)
Austin Cooper vs. Christian Taylor (Undagear 28)
Kid Karisma vs. Jobe Zander (Bulge Battles 1)
Kid Karisma vs. Reese Wells (Ringwars 27)
So yes to all of the above, but of these options, I’m going with Kid K vs. Jobe in Bulge Battles 1. This was a sensational match against two astonishingly accomplished homoerotic wrestling veterans. The suspense is fantastic. The action is graphic. The personalities are over the top in a way that only the likes of Kid K and Jobe can quite pull off. Second place for me is somewhere between Cole and Mr. Joshua, Jonny and Kirby, and Austin and Christian. My hunch is that Kid K splits his vote again and neither of his matches take the category. Instead, I think Cole and Mr. Joshua might pull of an upset, based on the fevered pleasure both Alex and I have for that match, though again, there’s Ty and his aggressive get-out-the-vote campaign.
So that’s my take on the first half of the ballot. What’s yours?
Sidelineland 