Tag: Austin Cooper

Public Service Announcement:

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This is Eli Black’s world. You just live in it.

True story: Out of the blue, a few days ago I got an instant message from Primus himself, Eli Black. He said that I’d “probably want to mention on your site that April is ‘Eli Black Month.” Well, hello to you, too, Eli! To what do we owe the honor of celebrating Eli Black Month? Turns out in April it’s going to be raining Eli! And when it rains Eli, it pours!

Eli’s arm raised in victory in the steel cage last weekend

To kick off Eli Black Month, just days ago the Shutdown did his magic all over some unlucky punk on his way to winning a 2nd round submission with a rear naked choke in his most recent MMA fight. For real.  All that muscle and all that attitude don’t just entertain us troops of fans. He’s also one seriously dangerous pit bull in the cage. Can you imagine having that muscled warrior wrapped around you from behind, squeezing you between his legs and slowly, precisely crushing your windpipe with his forearm? Hell. And yes.

UCW’s XanJey grabs a handful of Primus

Eli unilaterally designated April as his month because he’s also got his fine, fine, fine ass due to appear in one wrestling match after another for our corner of the wrestling audience. First up, catch Joe’s review of Eli’s debut appearance at UCW. I haven’t seen the match yet, but Joe has posted a pic of Eli’s opponent crushing Primus’ balls, and his green trunks are clearly wedged way, way up that gorgeous ass Eli’s not shy about mentioning. Truth be told, I’ve heard a little shit about UCW that’s kept me away, but Eli Black on the docket is bringing them some class and a second look from me.

Exclusive shot of the action at RHW: Eli ripping Austin in half (and loving it)

Are an MMA victory and a UCW debut enough to make this Eli Black Month? Don’t answer until you hear this: Just a couple days ago, Rock Hard Wrestling released their latest product, featuring a match up that makes my mouth water just thinking about it: Eli facing Austin Cooper. Eli is giving up 30 pounds to beefy golden boy Austin. He gets rocked (literally) to a first fall submission, those mind-boggling abs stretched so sweetly across Austin’s meaty thigh in an OTK backbreaker, only to inspire Eli to get down and dastardly for a round 2 mauling of Austin’s impressive abs (but let’s face it, he’s no Eli Black). Check Joe at Ringside at Skull Island for the definitive review (I’ll have more to add in a couple days), but holy shit, Austin lifts, tosses, slams, and basically shot-puts Primus all over the place! In the ropes, hanging upside down in the turnbuckle… sweet man alive, Eli takes a hell of a beating and keeps bouncing back for more!

Eli’s rear choke makes Jake Jenkins reconsider the wisdom of this rematch

So an MMA victory, a UCW debut, and a Rock Hard pretty boy pounding? But wait, there’s more! When Eli talked about some of his then-unreleased matches for BG East in my interview in February, it was his re-match against muscle stud Jake Jenkins that caught my (and several readers’) attention first. The advanced release promotional pics that the boys at BG East generously let me post illustrated the best news I’ve heard in months: this is a jockstrap match! I have to think it was a crush of calls from fans desperate to taste this promised delicacy for themselves that resulted in BG East releasing this visual feast of a match as part of Mat Rookies 1 in their just moments ago published catalog 92.

Coming and going: April is Eli Black Month

An MMA victory, a UCW debut, a Rock Hard ring match, and an epic (and extremely rare) BG East rematch with body beautiful Jake Jenkins!? To top it off, Eli gave me the heads up that his birthday is also in April. As always, it’s just hard to argue (or at least win an argument) with Eli Black (unless you’re Joe, then it seems like it’s hard not to argue with Eli!). With the body of evidence Eli has presented, along with the additional sentimental fact that the Shutdown is about to celebrate a birthday, I just can’t come to any other conclusion. So just sit back, turn on, tune in, and just concede the facts: April is, indeed, “Eli Black Month.”

Say My Name!!!

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As I’ve been spending quality time with Kid Karisma and Austin Cooper in the ring, I’m finding more and more that turns my crank. My reigning homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy division) is like a maestro, conducting this symphony of slaps, grunts, groans and bangs with awe inspiring grace. 
Kid K looks like he might kum to the soundtrack of
Austin Cooper’s screams.
There’s a knee-buckling moment for me when Kid Karisma locks up Austin’s ankles underneath his armpits and drops that jaw-droppingly gorgeous ass on top of Austin’s entirely mouthwatering derrière. Kid K is literally glowing with the overhead lights bouncing off his bulging muscles coated in such thick sweat I swear I can smell it. Kid is a vision, with a primal lust to dominate reaches climax as his face is transported into ecstatic reverie. Lovely Austin is screaming like 9-year old girl, but his bulging crotch leaves no room to mistake the fact that he’s all man, and he’s all twisted up in complete, hopeless, helpless humiliation.  “Say you give!” demands Kid K with a grin.  When Austin finally screams it out obediently, the karismatic one, chuckles and says, “Wait, wait, wait… what, what, what? I DIDN’T hear you!” he adds arching backward and wrenching Austin’s back harder.  It’s a climactic moment for me as well, but then Kid K sends me right over the top by refusing to let Austin admit defeat until he’s said his conquer’s name. “Now say, ‘I give Kid Karisma!'”
“I GIVE Kid Karisma!!!”
Holy hell I LOVE that! The intimacy quadruples in an instant. The submission is just the beginning as Kid K refuses to let up even after Austin’s tapped. Austin finally gasps through his sublime suffering, “I give… Kid… Karisma!” He chokes and sputters. Kid K flings Austin’s beautiful, beefy legs to the mat with contempt, stands up still straddling the rookie’s gorgeous glutes, and flexes for himself in the mirror.  I’ve lost it a half a dozen times before I can manage to get through all the way to simply admire Kid K’s stunning display, marveling not just a little over the major bulge stretching the crotch of his shiny black trunks. Fuck yes, Austin had better remember the name Kid Karisma!
Vintage Beau Hopkins chokes Jimmy Royce’s submission (and obedience)
right out of him.

This “say my name” moment transports me back to the first homoerotic wrestling product I ever purchased, Can-Am’s Canadian Musclehunk Oil Wrestling 3. Specifically, the wet muscle tussle between butt-tastic Jimmy Royce and handsome company man, Beau Hopkins intrudes on my thoughts. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this match before. Royce and Hopkins are incredibly appealing. Jimmy seems to have a trick shoulder that gives him trouble, and like an opportunistic dick, Beau goes to wrenching that shoulder with arm bars over and over again. This would have been annoyingly repetitive if it weren’t usually accomplished with Jimmy on his stomach, trying not to swallow baby oil, and Beau straddling Jimmy’s INCREDIBLE muscle ass. I could look at that view for days. Beau attacks Jimmy’s trick shoulder for the 400th time, and all of those sweet, sculpted muscles on Jimmy turn to jelly when Beau’s got his arm torqued too far for Jimmy to be able to resist absolutely anything. Beau makes him lick the oil and sweat that are pooling on the blue tarp. He exploits and abuses Jimmy’s knees and lower back. Finally, a little awkwardly, he slides his legs around Jimmy’s throat and begins to squeeze. Jimmy tries to pry himself free, but Beau grabs his wrists and keeps him helpless on his back, feeling the air and blood pinched off between Beau’s knees digging into his throat.  “Say the word!” Beau barks at Jimmy. “Do you give, Jimmy Royce!?” He finally squeezes two humiliating “I GIVES!” out of Jimmy, but Beau holds on for one more. “Say it again! Say ‘I give Mr. Beau Hopkins!” Jimmy croaks it out, full of bitter resentment, “I… give… Mr. Beau…….. Hopkins.”

Mr. Jimmy Royce turns the tables.

After dropping the first fall, Jimmy battles back for a surprise 2nd fall victory by locking up Beau’s arms with his luscious legs (good GOD this man had to have been a dancer!). The chicken wing is incredibly tasty.  Beau’s hot torso and barely contained bulge writhe and buck, but all Jimmy has to do is squeeze and Beau’s arms start to pop right of out his shoulder sockets. Jimmy taunts his opponent, asking if he wants to quit. “You’re finished!” Jimmy proclaims without any doubt. “Do you want to give? Huh, do you want to give yet, baby?” Ferociously Beau refuses with a deep, wolverine growl, “Never!” Jimmy squeezes his meat-packed thighs a little harder and makes Beau gasp in pain and quickly rethink his absolutes. He finally gives, but Jimmy insists, “I can’t hear you!” Beau growls out another contemptuous submission and Jimmy prods him on at the end, “… Mr.?  Mr. Jimmy Royce?” Jimmy demands retribution, insisting on hearing Beau not just admit defeat, but say the name of the muscle stud who’s conquered him from behind. “Mr. WHO!?” Beau spits defiantly at first, but when it’s clear Jimmy can either hold him helplessly like this forever or, perhaps, snap his shoulders apart completely, Beau reluctantly, bitterly snaps, “I… give… Mr…. Jimmy…….. Royce!”

Reigning Favorite Homoerotic Wrestler, Kid Karisma
bulges in ALL the right places!

Unlike for Kid Karisma, Jimmy learns the hard way that payback is one seriously nasty bitch. He goes down in the 3rd fall as a result of Beau going yet again for the trick shoulder. But even with all that oil, all those muscles, Jimmy’s slamming muscled ass, that hot, wet, tight wrestling action… it’s the submissions that demand of the loser to name the winner that stick out as the highlights of those falls. There’s just something primal about shoving your name down your opponent’s throat, like owning a bit of his soul just like you’ve completely owned his body. I’m sure there are plenty of other examples of the “Say My Name” submission (please do tell!), but I’m awfully pleased with Kid K’s latest rendition of this hot, hot, hot erotic wrestling maneuver!

Hotter Than I Can Imagine

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Yesterday something momentous happened. This is something that just doesn’t happen often. It played out like this… I posted yesterday on Kid Karisma’s report back to me that Austin Cooper was not the sore loser whose ego just couldn’t tolerate getting owned by Kid K. Apparently, there’s still some as yet unreleased match between Kid K and an opponent who walks away seriously pissed. Most of the time, Kid K assures us, once he’s dominated a lucky hunk in the ring, there are no hard feelings. Typically, roughed up egos are soothed with Kid’s classic concoction of karisma and commitment to bacchanalian delights. They all go out partying together once club gear replaces boots, kneepads and trunks. As is the norm, Kid Karisma revealed yesterday, Austin was out partying with Kid K soon enough after their recently released ring match for Austin’s Wrestler Spotlight DVD.
Kid Karisma can read my mind
As is my way, this sent my imagination into overdrive, picturing these two ripped, gorgeous, hot as hell young hunks tearing up the dance floor side-by-side.  With hatchets buried, Kid Karisma and Austin Cooper hitting the clubs and shaking their respective world class asses together was instantly an image that possessed my imagination with an iron grip.  Then, as if reading my mind, I received this pic from Kid K:
Kid and Coop on the dance floor before the party begins

Turns out, Kid K and Austin beat my imagination to the punch. This is apparently a shot of the two of them early on in an evening out clubbing, studying themselves in a wall of mirrors. It doesn’t look like there are many fellow-partyers yet there, but ohmygod what lucky, lucky (luckyluckylucky) bastards were those who walked onto the dance floor that night to see the sculpted physiques of Kid Karisma and Austin Cooper doing my 3rd most favorite thing to do with hard, hot bodies like theirs!

In my imagination yesterday, I had suggested that the only thing that could make that scene any hotter was to throw Jake Jenkins into the mix to form a perfect storm of blond, red-headed, and brunette hunkiness that would surely bring fellow partiers to their knees.  A short time later, I received this little treasure guaranteed to drive me insane:

Now the party can really begin!!!

I do believe in a god, because the karismatic one answered a prayer that I hadn’t even dared to voice out loud. I suppose that may make this threesome the holy trinity, but I’m going to stop the religious analogies there before I get complaints from the devout fringe who may read this blog. I may be too old and not nearly pretty enough to get in the door of any club that might be the setting to see this truly awe-inspiring scene of gorgeous bodies, but having one prayer answered already, my next prayer is to see something like this in person before I die. The smiles on their glassy-eyed faces are making me melt as I see superimposed overtop of them the picture of Austin pounding the shit out of Jake in their jockstrap BGE debut Ripped Rookies… and Kid Karisma tying Jake’s spine like a bow around the ring post in their No Mercy Hunkbash… and what I can only imagine will be a feast for the eyes to watch Kid K and Austin’s new release for Austin’s Wrestler Spotlight (which I’ll be enjoying soon!).

Crowning a New Champion: Kid Karisma

The answer to prayers (or the reading of my mind) by Kid Karisma and his camera isn’t actually the momentous event that I mentioned to start this post. Following up on a fantastically hot, candid, provocative interview to start 2012, the stunning beauty of Kid K and Austin’s match in still frame, and these behind the scenes shots of three of the most gorgeous young homoerotic wrestlers in action today, something even more momentous happened: Kid Karisma knocked Lon Dumont out of the spot of my favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy)! Lon has absolutely owned that title for ages, and I’m still awfully devoted to him as he remains top contender to retake the title, but without a Lon release in Catalog 91 and with Kid K fulfilling my fantasies before I even have them, there’s just no doubt about it. There’s a fiery, no shit, hardbodied, blue-eyed, freckle-faced, red-headed rugby player turned homoerotic wrestler in undisputed ownership of the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy division): Kid Karisma.

Begging the Question

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I’ve fielded several emails in the past three days about BG East’s brand new releases in Catalog 91. Damnation! So far, everyone seems to agree that this is an astonishingly hot batch of mouthwatering wrestling potential! To be blunt, there are typically at least a couple products in any given BG East catalog that leave me lukewarm. It’s not an indictment of BGE, but just a nod to the fact that BGE caters to a relatively broad swath of tastes and kinks. However, this catalog is not at all typical. In trying to decide what I can live without, I’m hard pressed to vote any of these DVDs off the island. And it’s not just that there’s maybe one match on a DVD that seems like it’s a must-see while the others are negligible. It’s pretty much every single match!  All but one DVD has at least one former or current homoerotic wrestler of the month or overall favorite wrestler title holder. Pros in Private 9 is the only product without a former or current favorite, however the shots of a Charlie Panther are blowing my mind (did that drill sergeant personal trainer Gino Liotta get a hold of Charlie’s workout routine!?). And the image of Mac Matthias’ butt keeps intruding into my thoughts over the course of my days (in a really, really great way).  So DVD after DVD, this catalog is one long, gorgeous, titillating parade of hot, hunky, hung homoerotic wrestlers!

Kid Karisma continues to perfect the art of using the ropes
to punish his opponents.

Joe has waxed nothing short of eloquent and, dare I say, almost giddy about Austin Cooper’s Wrestler Spotlight DVD and, in particular, the ring bout between Austin and Kid Karisma. I tend to think of Joe as more measured in his praise than I often am. I tend to fall into passionate love (okay, lust) with matches relatively easily, whereas I credit Joe with a more intentional approach to doling out praise in precise proportion to a match’s merits. So reading his unrestrained infatuation with Austin and Kid K’s confrontation makes me think: hot damn, I’ve got to see that!

Two epic asses should make for one extremely hot match!

Joe and I are clearly not the only ones drawn to the whole BG East catalog this go round, nor are we alone in zeroing in on the match between Austin and Kid Karisma. Three separate readers have mentioned to me that they already have orders placed for Austin’s Wrestler Spotlight with his Kid K match at front and center of their attention and anticipation. And 2 of those readers have asked me whether it’s possible that Austin could be the bitter loser who defied Kid Karisma’s charm and walked away seriously put out and resentful of getting owned by the karismatic one.

A heaping dose of the full Kid K treatment

In my interview with him last month, Kid Karisma described one particular, as yet unreleased match where his opponent walked away nursing a persistent grudge against BG East’s irrepressible partyboy.  “Well, there is one guy,” Kid K explained, “but the match hasn’t been released. It was easily the most intense match I have ever done. He hated my guts, and he hated the fact that I was much stronger and boisterous.” Rather than shaking hands and jumping onto the Kid K party train once all the dust was settled (as apparently happens with most of the lucky, lucky boys who face Kid K), a certain unnamed wrestler just walked away pissed. So the same thought occurred to me even before 2 readers separately asked me the question: is Austin Cooper said sore loser?

Austin is humiliatingly ass-upward as Kid K leans back and takes a breather

I know nothing more about it than you do, if you read the interview, so I decided to go straight to the source. Putting the question to Kid Karisma directly, I asked him this morning if Austin Cooper was the bitter nelly whose pride couldn’t cope with getting the full Kid K treatment.  He replied unambiguously, “No Austin is def not it! He’s pretty amazing, and I had a great time with him in the ring as well as out partying!!!”

Austin makes his presence felt from behind Kid Karisma
Happily, I’m just letting the image of these two asstastic body-beautifuls hitting the dance floor linger for a while. Just for aesthetics, I’m throwing into the picture Jake Jenkins, so that there’d be a devastatingly beautiful brunette to round out the hunky blond and ripped red-head trifecta. Before my imagination runs away with me entirely, let me just note that I strongly suspect that every Kid Karisma new release will be accompanied by speculation as to whether each new opponent might be the sore loser in question. Until Kid K spills the beans, we’ll just be left with the awesome delights of seeing him work his magic against the likes of sweaty muscle hunks like Austin Cooper. That will certainly tide me over in the mean time!

Kid K looks leathered up and ready to party down

Odysseus Arrives

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I completely understand why 44% of you selected wrestling hunk Jake Jenkins as the homoerotic wrestler who best embodies the spirit of Odysseus. He was the runaway winner in the field of 6 nominees (7, really, since SP put in a write-in vote for Wade Cutler). Reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month Rex Braddock, looking an awful lot like Steeve Reeves from his sword and sandal film days, had support early in the voting. But tough young Jake came from behind to spank Rex’s bubble butt handily, garnering 2 votes to his 1 when all was said and done.

When Jake hit the scene as the very definition of Rock Hard Wrestling, I had a hit from the chatter that we were falling into two categories: Jake Jenkins fanatics vs Austin Cooper fanatics. There’s not a thing wrong with blond bombshell Austin, mind you, but I was instantly in the Jake camp. He’s clearly a well-trained athlete, including bringing solid amateur wrestling skills with him to the ring. Kid Karisma probably put it best, dubbing Jake a “fucking monkey” for his ability to climb and jump, swing from the ropes and leap through the air inside the ring. Needless to say, he’s also hot as hell. And he’s quickly developed great instincts for selling a story, conquering more than his fair share of bigger opponents and also suffering like someone with intimate knowledge of what it feels like to get owned.
More to the point of Jake-as-Odysseus, he can totally work for me as a Greek hero, fearlessly facing the wrath of the gods determined to break him in body and spirit. His hot muscled body trapped, squeezed, and tied up helplessly by one sadistic opponent after another (particularly in his BGE work) makes it no stretch at all to think of him as the pawn of Olympus, battered, beaten, crushed and humiliated, but never completely broken.
There’s a virtuous “everyman” quality about Odysseus that Jake just barely qualifies for in my book. If Odysseus didn’t have a little god-spunk in his own genetic recipe, Jake might look just too tasty for the role. But Jake works an awfully compelling mixture of both cocky self-confidence and intoxicating vulnerability at the same time. Through sheer grit, he can endure apparently endless suffering to overcome the odds and bring a relative giant to his knees. In expert hands, though, he can also get chipped away, his iron clad core of muscle and fortitude that much more luscious as he goes down time after time to the dark powers of domination and injustice.
Odysseus brushes against complete destruction over and over again. He’s a mere mortal (a hot, macho, battle-sculpted mortal, of course), so against the divine interference of gods and demigods, he’s tricked and toppled repeatedly. He’s helpless and hopeless, if not for divine intervention that allows him to fight another day. And when it comes to Jake, there are few wrestlers currently in the business who I’d rather see soaked in hard-working sweat, tied up bare assed and in agony like a pretzel, refusing to submit despite facing absolutely zero chance of extricating himself from his tragic circumstances.

BG East Arena has preview pics of Jake in a Wet and Wild match, soaked in see-through speedos, on the edge of getting drowned by Poseidon/Christian Taylor. There are some homoerotic wrestlers that I love watching in a squash (either end of the stick), but Jake, like Odysseus, is most entertaining and lovely when he’s working, working hard, struggling, fighting, battling with every awesome muscle and acrobatic ability, straining to keep me entirely wrapped up in the suspense.

And speaking of suspense, thanks for your words of encouragement and support in my own epic journey to get home. Happily, I finally made it!

Reader’s Choice – Nick Collins

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Voting was enthusiastic and the competition was hotly contested, but Rock Hard Wrestling’s Nick Collins managed to hold off a late surge by BG East beefcake, Morgan Cruise, to claim the Reader’s Choice award for the recent rookie with the brightest potential.
Jake Jenkins ties Nicky up like a pretzel

Nicky’s appeal can hardly be a mystery. The lean, ripped body… the shaggy, long, yankable hair… that hefty package and oh-so-sweet round ass vacuum packed inside those skin tight trunks… still frame alone makes eager Nick Collins someone to watch.

Jake has his way with fresh, young Nicky

In both his singles and tag-team debuts at Rock Hard, he also shows clear evidence that he can wrestle. He’s nowhere near the polish and ring savvy of the RHW catalog 6 breakouts like muscle stud (and former homoerotic wrestler of the month) Jake Jenkins and his partner in crime, Austin Cooper (who, let’s face it, have come a long, long way in their short careers). Nicky has some amateur wrestling background, clearly, in the way he leverages is lean, tight body to flip and control his opponents. He’s a fit young stud who can get tossed and slammed and keep coming back.

Jake and Austin cannot get enough of rookie bashing Nicky

But he is a rookie, let’s face it. He sells about 40% of the time. He goes from 0 to 60 (writhing in agony to snarling with contempt and hardly breathing heavy at all) in the blink of an eye. He hasn’t yet really sold me, at least, with a reason that he’s climbed into the ring to face brutal, full contact competition. I can imagine the backstory, but sweet, sweet Nicky hasn’t yet really fleshed out the character and motivation for us.

All that fit muscle and bulging potential!

Which may be why so many of you tapped him for the rookie with the most potential. He’s got such sweet, bulging, squeezable raw materials to work with, and at the same time he’s got a boat load of improvement to make to turn a couple of passenger seat matches into a full on homoerotic wrestling kink persona that draws us in for more than just the beauty of that baby, baby, babyface and lean, hard body.

When he sells it, Nicky’s a gorgeously vulnerable babyface

Check babyboy out getting battered and abused by muscleboys Jake and Austin in his tag team defeat with partner Cliff Johnson, or pounding out two out of three to take a victory from fellow fresh face rookie Gunner Bayani.

Sweet, sweet potential!
Personally, I think my favorite homoerotic wrestler, non-pornboy division (and current homoerotic wrestler of the month) Lon Dumont needs to ring the school bell and open up a clinic for all of these rookies to learn so, so much (with sweet Nicky at the head of the class, of course)! I’ve also got a deep craving to see the top contender chomping at Lon’s ass for the title of favorite homoerotic wrestler, non-pornboy, and former homoerotic wrestler of the month, Kid Karisma, wrap little Nicky’s back around a ring post like a Christmas ribbon. Potential? Hell, yes.

Coincidences

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Have you noticed how in Hollywood movies it’s a moral imperative to believe in the supernatural? I keep hearing the words, “I don’t believe in coincidences” in movies and on television lately. The implication seems to always be that there’s some divine hand moving the universe, lining up otherwise random events into non-coincidental patterns. Well, frankly, I do believe in coincidences. That army of monkeys will, indeed, one day hammer out the complete works of Shakespeare by sheer chance. I’m okay with that.  That’s not to suggest, however, that I don’t like musing on a notable coincidence when it falls in my lap.
Kid Leopard planting a Tree of Woe for Sean Cannon
in BG East’s Superbouts 2
Take, for instance, the third time in as many days that the “tree of woe” has come up in three entirely unrelated conversations I’ve been part of.  Three different homoerotic wrestling fans raised the topic of how hot the tree of woe scenario is. The only reason I really know much about it, as such, is from a series of comments on Rants, Roids & Rasslin’ a while back, in which folks were dissecting a panel from one of RR&R’s wrestling comics. “Tree of woe” is apparently the moniker for that precarious situation when a wrestler discovers himself hanging upside down from the corner turnbuckle, completely vulnerable to a humiliating and devastating attack.
BG East’s Brooklyn Bodywrecker exploiting an opponent’s vulnerability.
It seems to me that there’s more than just a little element of bondage, with the poor catcher’s ankles locked and laced underneath the supports tying the turnbuckle to the ring post. A knee to the gut, a boot to the face… the options appear to be endless. Yes, and hot…
Rock Hard Wrestling’s Lucas Payne lives up to his name in Austin Cooper’s
Tree of Woe

The position also offers an opportunity to see a hot muscle boy stretched out and in jeopardy. Hot strong bodies are the best subjects with which to construct a tree of woe, it seems to me. The mechanics probably work best with a strong, compact, relatively limber body. The aesthetics also work best that way, too, I think.

Cole Cassidy goes to work on Kevin Lee in BG’s Bad Boys

Accomplished master in the fine arts of sadistic ring punishment, Cole Cassidy made the most of bewildered Kevin Lee trapped in his tree of woe.

Cole uses those gorgeous muscles to crush Kevin’s head and midsection.

A bearhug and headscissors combination on Kevin illustrates some of the more creative opportunities that a tree of woe offers to an innovative heel.

Cole leans in real good, adding every ounce of leverage to crush Kevin’s balls.

Of course, any tree of woe that fails to include crotch torture is a waste. Cole is never, ever one to waste anything. A long, slow elbow driven crushing into Kevin’s balls softens him up.

Cole claws Kevin’s crotch and enjoys watching the agony.
Cole latching on a ball claw, with his freakishly fantastic forearms bulging like a cartoon superhero is incredibly erotic.
Cole’s boots and knees tenderize his suspended opponent.

And of course some nasty stomps to Kevin’s… well, to Kevin’s everything, shows why a tree of woe is a blank canvas in the hands of a true artist, at least when Cole is working his magic.

BG East’s Dante Rosetti (I think) uses his head.

I’m on the record many times over as completely partial to ring wrestling, and the tree of woe illustrates just one of the many reasons why ring wrestling cranks my kink harder than just about any other context. The opportunities to use the architecture, to capitalize on the structure, to exploit the parts of the ring that stretch as well as those that don’t, all contribute to making ring wrestling my wrestling kink of choice.

At long, long last, Rio Garza pays it back against Jobe Zander in
Can-Am’s Rio’s Revenge

So I completely believe that three different people raising the topic of the tree of woe in as many days is 100% coincidence. I’m sure it’s randomness, and I don’t feel the need to read into the coincidence some guiding, invisible hand that wants me to appreciate deeper the erotic potential of corner abuse. That doesn’t mean, however, that I don’t enjoy riding the tide and getting a kinked kick out of where it takes me.

Rock Hard Wrestling’s Trent Novak treats Austin Cooper to a Tree of Woe beatdown

Don’t let that flat-chested bitch beat you!

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The Rock Hard Wrestling tag-team match pitting former homoerotic wrestler of the month Jake Jenkins and his frequent friend and foe, Austin Cooper against twink scrappers Cliff Johnson and Nick Collins has been up for a while. However, my pennies have been diverted elsewhere, so it’s only now that I’ve had an opportunity to dip the ladle back in the gamey elixir of Rock Hard Wrestling’s unique talents at filming hard, devastatingly handsome hunks laying down some pro-style maneuvers.

Like the past several RHW matches I’ve watched, I’m giving this tag-team bout a thumbs up. There’s a glaringly weakest link in this mash up that you can’t miss. What the hell was little Nicky Collins thinking climbing into the ring against the experience and outrageously gorgeous muscle physiques of Jake and Coop!? Cliff, while still seeming to me to qualify for twinkdom, has a nasty attitude of a heel to make his slender form seem somehow that much more potently dangerous. Cliff is a cocky son of a bitch. He’s mean. He’d like nothing better than to dominate and humiliate a couple of fitness model pretty boys who think that a competitive amateur wrestling resume can translate into the professional wrestling ring. I get Cliff’s motivation. Little Nicky, however? He’s nervous. You’ll see what I mean. No doubt, he’s got a poker face, but he’s got tells you can see a mile away. When he’s leaning across the top rope, taking a breather while Cliff is getting tossed, slammed, pummeled and crushed inside the ring, I swear you can see it written on little Nicky’s face: damn, glad that’s not me. As a lamb led to slaughter, little Nicky Collins is perfectly on cue.

Jake Jenkins continues to captivate me. Perhaps the homoerotic wrestling world might be divisible into Jake-fans and Coop-fans. It seems to me that I see devotees of each who don’t seem nearly as interested in the other. If the world were that simple to dichotomize, I’d be squarely on the Jake Jenkins side of the fence. The face, the body, his adrenaline on turbo boost, his ass… in this tag-team match, Jake also reminds me of another reason that I’m so turned on by him: that mouth.

The action in this match is well-paced. The boys use about 80% of the ring, and there’s a healthy mix of amateur and pro wrestling moves as they inhabit territory in mid-air, on their feet, and down to the mat. Within the first 5 seconds, Jake and Coop are cheating, with Coop pounding Cliff into the unfriendly corner where Jake locks him up from the ring apron to leave him defenseless against his partner’s assault.  As often happens in RHW action, the tables turn on a dime (sometimes leaving me feeling a little whiplashed, in fact), and Cliff illustrates his hottest move: with one arm wrapped around Austin’s throat from behind and the other controlling Austin’s left arm behind his back, Cliff drops to one knee, driving Austin’s lower back squarely down on top of Cliff’s bent knee (when he pulls this off on Jake late in the match, you can see why it’s even more devastating on a shorter opponent!). It’s a sweet move that looks like it really hurts, and Cliff repeats it often. The golden boy looks like he’s got nothing to counter it, in fact, which inspires Jake, watching on with concern, to bark encouragement from the corner. “Come on Coop! Don’t  take that shit from him. Make him sniff your ass!”

The greatest tragedy of this match is that when all is said and done, the boys-wonder have neglected to follow through and make Cliff sniff Austin’s ass. However, there’s plenty of storytelling still to come. Each time one man gets the upper hand and exploits his advantage to the point of cocky arrogance, it comes back to bite him in the ass. With Coop’s number on speed dial, Cliff delights in hurting the big blond beauty. For his troubles, as soon as Jake tags in, he scoops Cliff up in his arms, lunges backward and flings the lean and mean one over his head, slamming him to his back.  As payback for Jake taking some extra liberties rubbing in the domination over Cliff, little Nicky (inexplicably) exhausts and schoolboy pins Jake, pounding his pecs for days. Now, my armchair assessment is that Jake could eat Nicky for afternoon tea and still have room for a porterhouse steak. However, the sound of panic rising in Jake’s voice as he cries for some underhanded interference from the ring apron makes me swoon just a little. “Get him off me!” Jake pleads/demands of Coop. “You’re close! Get him off me!”

With the badboy interference from outside the ropes pushing the reset button, little Nicky suddenly has a giant target painted on his ass. Jake controls the nervous one with exquisitely commanding strength and focus. Folding up Nicky’s legs and prying them upward in a nasty-looking backbreaker, Jake revels in the sight of the twink pounding his fists into the mat helplessly. “Eat the mat!” Jake chuckles as he shoves little Nicky’s face downward with his right forearm. A few seconds later, he’s tossed Nicky to his back, rolled him up with Nicky’s ass pointed at the ceiling, and pinned his shoulders to the mat for a leisurely three count pinfall with Cliff looking on from the ring apron in disgust.  “That’s how you do it in Jake Jenkin’s house!” Jake declares.

The start of round 2 finds wiry Nicky slipping behind Jake and wrapping a sloppy choke across the muscle stud’s throat. The look on J’s face is priceless (10:13), as he smirks at Coop and rolls his eyes in contempt for the twink backback he’s got on. A second later, he bends forward, sending unprepared Nicky head over heels and slamming to his back with a gasp.  As I said, little Nicky is the weakest link by far, both in selling and in keeping pace with quality wrestling of the other three. His primary arsenal is that schoolboy pin and flurry of fists to Jake’s pecs that he comes back to a couple times more. He takes some nice punishment, especially from Jake, and 7 times out of 10, he sells some satisfying suffering. But the pec punching offense wears a bit thin, and the boys-wonder thankfully make him pay for his lack of creativity.

The other three relative veterans dial up the storytelling, pretty much redeeming little Nicky’s performance as far as I’m concerned. While it’s primarily little Nicky punching Jake, Cliff gets in some gratuitous shots as well. When Coop tags in, he’s determined to even the score and defend his partner’s honor (now that’s sexy!). “You going to hit my guy like that!?” Coop shouts down into Cliff’s face, tit-for-tat schoolboy pinning the lean wrestler and delivering a barrage of retributive pec punches. Cliff is nearly pounded a couple of inches into the mat beneath Coop’s big, beautiful body and jabbing fists. “Yah!” Coop crows, climbing off his dazed opponent. “You aint hittin’ nobody now!

With little Nicky in his corner leaving the storytelling to more expert hands, Cliff battles his way back to his feet and drops big Coop with some choice strikes. “You slap me like a bitch, huh?” he growls furiously.

“You are a bitch!” Coop shouts from one knee, letting his mouth keep writing checks even while Cliff is cashing in on a growingly arrogant beatdown.

But it’s Jake’s mouth that works me hardest, as he jumps into the battle of words from his position in the corner, waiting to enter the fray. “Don’t let that flat chested bitch beat you!” he shouts encouragingly to Coop.

While this match is not seamless, and there are several moments when the boys have to remind one another where the story arc is taking them next, the final 45 seconds are beautifully executed and majorly hot. The muscle stud victors finally start firing on all cylinders, and with all 4 men in the ring at once, Jake and Coop deliver side-by-side, simultaneous offenses like synchronized swimmers.  With little Nicky draped across Jake’s huge shoulders like a mink stole, and bitter-in-defeat Cliff screaming in pain racked across Coop’s sculpted body, my anti-heroes delight in humiliating the outmatched, outmuscled team and, they absolutely pulse with testosterone as they flex and taunt overtop of the battered losers. Hot, hot story, boys!

Tightening Bard’s Belt

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My post on the cost of my wrestling kink generated a lot of feedback. One nice result from my nervous confession that I’ve never tracked down permission from Can-Am to repost their pics is that I got an email from Can-Am giving me permission to repost their pics (thanks!).

Thiago Diaz and Jobe Zander – Can-Am’s Decrotchery

Speaking of which, I had to pick my jaw up off the floor when I saw the preview pics of Jobe Zander’s new match for Can-Am against one of the hottest new muscle bodies I’ve seen in a long time, who goes by the name Thiago Diaz. Thiago is absolutely phenomenal to look at in still frame.  My head is about to explode in anticipation of seeing if he’s just as kinetically hot and whether he can sell some sweet homoerotic wrestling. The sustained ball torture he appears to endure in his rookie debut entitled Decrotchery looks like seriously nasty shit of the variety that Jobe specializes in. If Thiago shows up in Can-Am’s series Pro Sex Fights, I may need CPR (preferably delivered by Thiago).

Rusty Stevens and Kevin Crowes – Can-Am’s Pro Sex Fight 4

And speaking of my jaw dropping (and hot muscle bodies and Pro Sex Fights), Can-Am has also posted in their store their newest Pro Sex Fight starring former long-time holder of the title as my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy, Rusty Stevens! I don’t know what this means for Rusty’s announcement that he was retiring from porn last autumn. But knowing nothing other than that Rusty has climbed into the pro wrestling ring, I can already say with absolutely certainty that he’s back in contention to slam, squeeze, pound and fuck his way through the ranks of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers. And this rookie that he’s squaring off against is making my head spin with almost as much velocity as Thiago Diaz! Kevin Crowes is devastatingly handsome, constructed like a go-go boy addicted to his workout endorphins, and sporting what looks to an epic cock and major league, aesthetically gorgeous ink. Smart money might be on Rusty totally owning the rookie hunk, but then again, Rusty’s long resume of wrestling domination doesn’t feature much ring action at all, and this very well may be the first time that I’ve ever seen Rusty out-prettied by an opponent (possibly with the exception of David Taylor).

Jake Jenkins and Austin Cooper – BG East’s Ripped Rookies 1: A Score to Settle

In addition to the happy bonus of getting word that Can-Am is okay with me reposting, joining the ranks of the generous folks at BG East, Thunder’s Arena, and Rock Hard Wrestling, my post on the cost of wrestling kink also generated some sincere efforts from several folks giving me advice about what subscription I ought to choose to be the one to drop. Jon gave me more of a psychological assessment of my core beliefs and motivations, concluding that his read on my equivocation is that I should drop Can-Am and Thunder’s. Off line, I had one adamant reader insist that once you’ve seen one Naked Kombat, you’ve seen them all, so I shouldn’t expect anything too new or novel to need to keep investing in them. Someone also made the most fair point that the real cost-benefit ratio should be measured at the top end of the discounts that all 4 of my subscriptions offer (even if I’m too undisciplined to budget the big bucks for one time per year cost savings).

Leo Forte & Trent Diesel – Naked Kombat – The Bondage Match June 22, 2011

With that in mind, let me point out that I could get 365 days of BG East Arena delights for $125. A year of Can-Am Max and the opportunity to pine over the likes of Thiago Diaz would set me back $179.95. The most cost-efficient means of enjoying Thunder’s Arena’s Thunder TV is 90 days for $59.99 on a recurring bill (not sure why a non-recurring 90 days should suddenly jump up to $100… should that be a year?), which would equate to $240 for a full 360 days. And finally, for Naked Kombat’s exclusive content, I could be maximizing the fuck for the buck with their 1-year subscription at $169.99.

Z-Man and Dallas – Thunder’s Arena’s Custom Match

Since I’m not made of money, and since I anticipate some big bills coming up related to a barrage of travel obligations in the next 6 months, I feel like the cost-benefit analysis brings me to an unmistakable conclusion. Thunder TV, I’m afraid, is the weakest link. I’m going to sign back off of them, regretfully, but I’ll check with Joe at Ringside at Skull Island for any can’t miss new releases that he reviews from Thunder’s. Thanks to everyone who gave me your thoughtful advice. Now, if anyone has any other wrestling kink websites out there that I’m not tracking, let me know if you think I’m missing out on some major kink gold. And of course, should Rock Hard Wrestling come out with an exclusive content membership option, I’ll have to reconsider everything. It would require a whole new cost analysis of my overall wrestling kink budget, of course…

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Reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, Lucas Payne, has a lot going for him. His body wears me out just looking at him. Everything is notable… the thick pecs, the gorgeously shaped arms, his self-named “thunder thighs” (which I think had an entirely different connotation about 20 years ago), that stunningly tight muscle ass.

But I’m surprisingly drawn to his upper back as I marvel at young Mr. Payne. He has a beautiful medallion tattoo right between his shoulder blades. I struggled for way too long to try to snag a decent close-up of it to feature him in this week’s Name That Tat quiz, but I never quite caught the right view, damn it. Even more captivating for me, however is the width of his astonishingly wide lats. There’s just something about those proportions that screams for you to (try to) wrap your arms all the way around the astounding thickness packed across his upper torso… the lats, the boulder-size shoulders, and those mountainous pecs all ringing his torso like a suit of armor.

Lucas got my nod for homoerotic wrestler of the month primarily on attitude, not that the body hurt his chances any. I like rookies who make a big impression on me, so Mr. Payne was destined to be in the running for some kind of accolades sooner or later from me.

I went into some detail about his newest release (and his first victory) for RHW against Trent Novack, and I just spent some time enjoying his debut match against Austin Cooper. I won’t belabor the full assessment of Payne going down to Cooper, because I tend to consider Joe and Ringside at Skull Island’s reviews the definitive word as a rule. I will say that I love Lucas’ delivery of abuse in the corners, and I’m weak in the knees to see him on the receiving end of humiliating torture captured in the ropes. Love a big, beautiful muscle man taking punishment trapped in the ropes…

The veins popping out across his shoulders as he threatens to snap Austin in half in a fall 1 winning over-the-knee backbreaker is also made-to-order for my particular kinks. It’s certainly not the case that Lucas Payne has “arrived.” He could do so much more with all those muscles, all that attitude, and all that athleticism. Frankly, however, potential can turn me on, as well. I’d love to watch him develop even more ring presence. It’d be fantastic to watch a big, hard young buck like that take his knocks, learn the ropes, and really command a plot in the ring against some savvy competition.

But it’s an excellent start to a story, with all the raw elements to grab my attention, hold my attention, and keep me watching, wanting more, anticipating what the future could hold for a gorgeous, snarling, bodybuilder breaking into homoerotic wrestling. There are a whole lot of fly-bys in the business, so I won’t be surprised if he quickly fades into obscurity. But for simply entertaining me like few rookies of his experience ever do, I’ll keep my fingers crossed that he hangs around long enough for some character development to occur.