Jonny Firestorm – Page 6

Our Man Inside

August 29, 2014August 29, 2014 wrestlebardLeave a comment

It’s been months since I heard from our man inside (OMI) the operation at BG East. I was beginning to wonder if the Boss had finally sussed out the identity of the homoerotic wrestling fans’ hero who has smuggled us behind the scenes, off label photos of BG East wrestling magic in the making. However, OMI is apparently not wearing cement shoes in at the bottom of the Okeechobee, because just this week I received a package proverbially wrapped in a brown paper bag. OMI, I’m relieved to hear that you’re still with us! Keep ’em coming, because I get a particular thrill out of seeing BG East boys in candid and unscripted moments. It’s just a little more like getting to be there in person to watch the hot action live!

Here, Drake checks neverland to find out whether he’s managed to intimidate me. Keep hoping, buckaroo!

Today’s batch of photos come from poolside in Florida and primarily feature the Cheshire Cat himself, Drake Marcos. Regular readers will remember that although I’ve gone on the record as a fan, handsome young Drake has taken umbrage at my armchair commentary, including my complaints that his very first photographic appearance (a pre-OMI smuggle) featured him in far too loose of clothing to get a clear estimation of his physique. What really seems to have soured the Fugelsang-esque stud toward me has been any discussion I’ve raised of his relationship to the category “jobber.” Somehow, being asked about whether he’s a champion jobber seems to wipe that ever-present grin of his handsome face. Ah, well. I’m not the first journalist to be resented for my willingness to ask the hard questions. Young Drake has been promising for months now that he’s got an ass-whooping saved up especially for me, should our paths ever cross. Unfortunately for Drake, that very well may happen this autumn due to my travel schedule for work. I’ll keep you informed as to whether it’s a certain favorite blogger of yours, or whether it’s a certain sexy jobber we know, who comes face to face with a well-earned reckoning.

I’ve never had an unkind (or unaroused) word to say about this stud, despite the enmity he appears to nurse against me.

Here, Drake looks pissed, so I’m guessing he’s either thinking of me or flashing back to one of his countless squashes.

Cue the Jaws theme music, because there’s a heel shark approaching an adorable jobber!

You’d think the youngster would learn not to leave his back turned to a sadistic heel like Jonny Firestorm. We’ve seen Drake come a long way in his tenure with BG East (for example, look at those mouthwatering legs!). But I think it’s way too early to tell whether this babyface has earned his get-out-of-jobberville-free-card yet. Watch your back, buckaroo. If it isn’t Jonny, it could very well be a certain blogger coming for you!

Making Jake

August 13, 2014 wrestlebard2 Comments

Jake Jenkins has captured the hearts and stoked the crotches of countless homoerotic wrestling fans in the past few years. His charms are both obvious and subtle. He’s gorgeous to look at under any circumstance. But he’s also prolific and varied in his delivery of wrestling drama. So I’ve strolled through the many splendored thing that is JJ’s wrestling filmography and finally arrived at the really tough part of the alphabet. Some of these final entries in Making Jake are weak, I’m the first to admit. But cut me some slack. The options for descriptors that start with the letter X are x-tremely limited. From U to Z, here’s my take on Making Jake…

…unconscious. Perennially dangerous and with inexhaustible tenacity, many opponents have been simply stunned by the energizer-bunny quality of Jake. Even when you’ve got him down, just try counting him out. With the muscle and the body awareness he’s got, he’ll slip out of your fingers 9 times out of 10. What’s an opponent to do to once and for all not just put, but keep him down? An elite few know you very well may have to make Jake unconscious!

…vertical. Jake fans know that his athleticism is second to none. JJ flies. He does handstands. He flips and twists and slams and stomps. He’s perfectly balanced between grace and brutality. That goes for both pitching and catching. Opponent’s can do astonishing things with JJ’s incredibly fit, flexible, agile, compact muscle body because he’s in such incredible shape he can take astonishing beatings and live to tell the tale. For example, Jonny Firestorm managed to contort JJ’s body into positions and shapes I’ve never seen before, each one more breathtaking and beautiful than the last. There’s something just awe inspiring about watching that moment when an expert heel doesn’t just control Jake’s body, he doesn’t just hold JJ’s life in his hands, he makes Jake vertical.

…wet. I’ve got a major thing for wrestlers that work up a heavy lather of sweat, and Jake can definitely get there. When droplets make his muscles twinkle and his bulges glisten, Jake is transported into another realm, joining a pantheon of immortal gladiators demanding to be worshipped as celestial beings. As Ethan Andrews proved, JJ also looks damn good with a bottle of water poured onto him in the middle of the ring, piling humiliation onto defeat. Thankfully it’s never come to this, but it just wouldn’t be a full on JJ match if his opponent didn’t make Jake wet.

…x-rated. Okay, so here’s where you must cut me slack, because I know full well that Jake’s wrestling filmography is PG-13, at best, and that’s only if you have a fundamentalist Christian prude on your ratings board. True, JJ did dally briefly under another name in some full frontal solo work for a beefcake company, but formally speaking, that wasn’t “Jake.” But thank the wrestling gods JJ has been wrestled out of his singlets and trunks on just a few occasions, leaving him in nothing but a sweat soaked jock strap. The briefest glimpse, barely more than innuendo, of his exposed hole exponentiates JJ’s overall homoerotic sexiness across the board. There’s not an inch of him that doesn’t deserve awed worship, but there’s something just for gay wrestling fans when a match makes Jake x-rated.

jakeyelp

…yelp. I’ve said it before, but let’s review it again. Jake is a cool customer. He’s got a sharp wit and a razor tongue, but the quantity of what comes out of his mouth in a match is perpetually restrained. He sells pain most often silently, or at most, with anguish welling up behind a wall of ironclad self-control. So it’s a special treat when an opponent not only drives Jake to the edge of busting through that wall, but managed to squeeze just right and make Jake yelp.

…zealous. Jake embodies many different characters. At Rock Hard Wrestling he started as a brutal heel. At BG East, he’s been a beautiful babyface, a stern initiator and a stunned jobber in various combinations. There’s something achingly hot, though, about Jake as a valiant jock, as certain in the virtue of hard work as he is in the scales of justice tilting his way in bringing victory as reward for his earnestness. On just a couple of occasions, JJ has flashed that wide-eyed, broad smile, wrapped himself in patriotism, and flung himself face first into harm’s way trusting in the rightness of his convictions to weather the storms of dirty tricks and dastardly deviousness hurled back at him. That earnestness is misplaced, of course. This is professional wrestling we’re talking about. But there’s something deeply evocative when a certain gear choice, or a particular partner, or specific opponent manages to make Jake zealous.

Well there you have it. I struggled to select among many excellent option for most letters of the alphabet in attempting to capture the range and depth of Jake Jenkins, so I may very well go around the circuit all over again some day. But first, there’s a certain 3-time homoerotic wrestler of the month who has his own parallel series that I need to pay attention to. Now that I’ve found Eli Black’s most recent work at UCW, I’m obsessed with exactly what it is that evokes the enthralling essence of Eli.

Hot off the presses!

June 16, 2014 wrestlebard1 Comment

The weekend I leave home for vacation, BG East goes live with Catalog 104.1! Damn! There’s a lot of eye candy I’m already enjoying on the website. I’ve had a chance to enjoy a couple of the new releases already, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to give any of these fine offerings a fuller treatment before I get back. Damn, damn, damn! There’s some fine temptations here!

joshua — Muscle sandwich! Mr. Joshua Goodman takes it from the front and the back going 2-on-1 against Braden Charron and Brad Barnes in Tag Team Torture 18.

cam — Cameron Matthews glistens with a bashed Lorenzo “Jake” Lowe draped across his shoulders in Submissions 9.

barry — Instant top tier entry into the Fantasymen category, Big Barry Burke brings the muscle in Ring Rookies 4.

jake — Guido Genatto appears to completely humiliate cocky stud Jake Jenkins in Demolition 17.

jonny — Jonny Firestorm appears to be about to rip the head off of Nick Rush in Demolition 17.

jayden — Jayden Mayne is in a world of hurt against Charlier Panther in Demolition 17.

drake — Drake Marcos, who has yet to deliver on the Christmas present he supposedly has picked out for me from last year, looks like he’s getting owned by one of the most babyfaced babyface rookies, Ty Alexander, in Babyface Brawl X.

Thing appear to get delightfully wet and wild with a bevy of babyface beauties in Wet ‘N’ Wild 7.

Feel Better Friday

May 2, 2014 wrestlebard1 Comment

Jonny Firestorm posted this photo (below) on his blog, showing him getting checked out for an unspecified medical condition.

20140501-214455 — Jonny blogs from his sickbed

It sounds serious, because Jonny reports he’s under doctor’s orders to stay away from wrestling for the time being. No word on what’s plaguing Jonny’s hot bod, but again, it must be serious, because what has that hunky physique not been able to withstand!?

jonny2 — It took both Cameron Matthews and Mike Pitt to make Jonny hurt in Tag Team Torture 17.

Of course, Jonny gives about 3 times harder than he gets, but still, he’s taken a boatload of vicious punishment and cruel abuse and managed to muscle his way back on top, over and over again.

jonny4 — Jonny’s ripped bod takes a brutal boot to the chest as he’s cruelly double-teamed.

So I’m guessing it takes a lot to get Jonny to admit he’s hurting enough to see a doctor in the first place, much less “take orders” to stay away from the ring. How many naive opponents have thought they’d be the ones to toss Jonny’s ass from the ring, only to find themselves crushed and conquered by the resilient heel? Now some egghead with a lab coat and filth-infested neck tie (seriously, think about how many germs a doc’s tie is exposed to and how often it get’s dry cleaned!) does what extremely few musclebound hunks have been unable to do?!

jonny3 — Jonny’s gorgeous ass has taken some beatings in the past.

I’ve got my money on Jonny kicking his health issue in the ass, and then proceeding to take that doc, rip off his lab coat, tie him into the ring ropes with the filth-infested tie, and shockingly hot ripped-n-stripped body mercilessly for keeping Jonny from the air he breathes, aka, wrestling. Then again, my fantasy of a hardbodied wrestling nerd may be interfering with my estimation of Jonny’s rapport with his attending.

Either way, feel better, Jonny. The wrestling ring will be noticeably less exciting until you’re back in it and on top of the heap once more.

Our Man Inside

April 24, 2014 wrestlebard5 Comments

Our man inside BG East, or as one insightful observer recently referred to him, “OMI,” sent me a batch of catalog 103-related behind-the-scenes snapshots. These were actually sent before the release of catalog 103, but they got buried in my email while I was knocked down with an early spring illness. Happily, I’m getting back on top of things after my recovery, including digging out these hot pieces of awesome contraband smuggled out from the BG East camp. I have still heard no word of OMI’s unmasking, although my offer of a free dinner should we ever meet in person still stands. That is, he gets a free dinner from me if he isn’t drawn and quartered by the powers that be at BG East first…

If only this was self-snapped by bespectacled Kid Vicious, I’d argue this could be the homoerotic wrestling equivalent of Ellen’s Oscar’s selfie. As it is, this shot of Jonny Firestorm and KV manning the cameras with golden boy Austin Cooper in nothing but his underwear looking over the shoulders is still an incredibly hot, somewhat novel collection of devastatingly sexy man meat! The three of them look chummy, which may explain Austin’s fantastic heel turn a while back which he OWNS like a champ in his newest release, absolutely carving up newbie Leo Tomassi like a turkey dinner in Jobberpalooza 13. It seems like Austin is teetering on the edge of giving his hot pecs over totally to the dark side, and personally, I hope he keeps this company pictured here. More bad influence from two of the top heels in BG East can only promise more fantastically cruel performances from golden boy body beautiful heel Austin.

Along the lines of “the company you keep,” here’s Austin’s Jobberpalooza victim, Leo Tomasi, showing off his rippled abs with adorkable rookie Ty Alexander ready for stills. If Austin is getting his marching orders from Jonny and KV and Leo is getting introduced to the scene from crushable jobber-rising Ty, the handwriting was on the wall way before Leo got bullied and literally bloodied by relentlessly cruel Austin.

Here’s a pre-match photo of another golden boy muscle stud who appears to be making a play for turning his career around by dipping deep into the dark side of the Force. Did you see Braden Charron’s work with pretty Pete Sharp in Jobberpalooza 13?! Holy shit, I was completely blown away and shocked. I did NOT see that coming. Until now, Braden has been a tad too pretty, too sexy for his own good. All that mouthwatering meat and beauty have done nothing but draw out some of the most vicious and sadistic performances in even BG East’s babyface ranks. I saw a whole mountain of gorgeous hurt heading his way when I noticed he was to be Pete’s first ring opponent, because Pete may be pretty as a peach, but he’s also been incredibly dangerous in his first two outings on the mat. But wow. Just, wow! Braden pulls off what I have to think of as an upset, despite his extensive experience advantage, and watching him make every luscious inch of pretty, pretty Pete suffer is phenomenal! Pete’s got serious repair work to do on his rep, while Braden has convinced me he’s a lot more than a pretty face and a mouthwatering cock!

And again from Jobberpalooza 13, Guido Genatto came damn near close to literally breaking poor, insanely pretty Kip Sorrell. Seeing Guido stretched out on the couch, bespectacled, checking his email, with Ultimate Warrior (RIP) nestled between the tree trunks he calls his thighs, you’d never suspect the boiling rage he’s about to tap into the second he sees the very definition of a pretty boy, Kip, lacing up his boots. This is one of those matches where I get sucked in so deep that I grow genuinely concerned for Kip’s life and limb. Guido turning outmatched Kip into a little more than a life sized Ken doll, to be manhandled, manipulated, and humiliated like a despised plaything, is insanely sexy. Between Kip’s devastated gym body and Guido’s gargantuan, power packed physique, I can’t decide which I want to lick more, the mammoth crevice between Kip’s pecs or the lightly hairy expanse of Guido’s beautiful belly. Fuck that, let me trade places with that Ultimate Warrior pillow. NOW!

OMI has got testicles the size of beach balls! He’s slipped us a behind the scenes photo of the franchise himself, Kid Leopard, ready for taking stills and Jonny Firestorm, well… um… flat on his back, hands behind his head, apparently “on break.” For Jonny’s sake, I hope that’s a sanctioned nap-time.

Finally, OMI slipped out these two photos of rookie Kayden Keller looking handsome as hell and ready to unwrap like a Christmas present. The second shot, I notice, is a selfie, meaning that either OMI is Kayden or OMI has access to download photos from Kayden’s phone. If we hear that hot rookie heel Kayden is cleaning BG East toilets with his tongue in the near future, perhaps we’ll have finally learned OMI’s true identity. I hope not, though, because I imagine that might also be the last contraband we get from him. One way or another, I think OMI either IS Kayden, or OMI really, really like’s Kayden’s hot rookie body! Or both. I’d understand, either way.

Fanboy

April 21, 2014 wrestlebard1 Comment

This week I had the great pleasure to enjoy my second-ever “dinner with Dumont.” Before you ask, 1) no, there was no wrestling involved, 2) Lon wore baggy jeans and a fantastically tight, long-sleeve t-shirt stretched awesomely over his bulging pecs, and 3) this time I got a keepsake photo of the two of us that is instantly in my top 5 favorite possessions. Back to the narrative, the long-time favorite homoerotic wrestler of mine was back in my neck of the woods and fulfilling fan fantasies by treating me to dinner. That’s right, stud puppy extraordinaire and perpetual infatuation of mine, Lon Dumont, picked up the tab for dinner! Honestly, I believe that most people who I know well enough to treat me to dinner would describe me as clever, witty, and an engaging dinner date. But sitting across the table from a homoerotic wrestling infatuation like devastatingly hot Lon Dumont, I turn into a stammering fanboy.

lon2 — All I can see is devastatingly brutal Lon staring an opponent into quivering submission!

It’s like seeing double-vision. There’s this engaging, cool guy in front of me, and I’m also seeing Lon Dumont, body beautiful wrestling heel flexing his champion biceps in some lucky opponent’s awed face. Lon assured me that he has plans to be back through this way in a few months, raising for me the question of how many times would it take to have dinner with Dumont before I’m desensitized to the awe of it all and can be as engaging a dinner partner as I normally am (or like to think of myself as)?

vicious — Kid Vicious talks my language, except for the fact I’m completely tongue-tied.

It’s certainly happened to me before. On my pilgrimage to Pembroke, I got to meet and eat with some of the hottest wrestling heels to recur repeatedly in my fondest homoerotic wrestling fantasies on camera and in my imagination. I had questions prepared. I was planning on documenting the conversations to share, in my typical overdrawn and pedantic way, with all of you. And then there I was, talking to Kid Vicious, who was engaging, thoughtful, and downright philosophical in parsing apart the politics and polemics of homoerotic wrestling. In other words, he was talking my language! But there I was, stumbling over my tongue and finding myself with clinically diagnosable aggressively intrusive thoughts, in particular picturing KV stripped down to trunks and threatening to tear an opponent’s balls off.

Same lunch, same place, and Jonny Firestorm was the same way. Chatter, shop talk, the awkward revelation that Jonny doesn’t follow neverland closely enough to realize he was at one point my homoerotic wrestler of the month. So many opportunities to ask an insightful question, probe as the investigative blogger I imagine myself to be, and honestly, the only thing I could do was stare in awe at Jonny’s gargantuan forearms and picture him wringing the life out of hot piece of jobber meat.

Not surprisingly, the worst was meeting Kid Leopard. By “worst,” of course, I mean, the most paralytic for me, a completely awestruck, drooling fanboy. KL was a fantastic host, showing me around the grounds, letting me see where the magic is made in the ring, on the mats, in the gazebo, in the wrestle shack. He was generous and engaging, and I felt like I couldn’t string together more than 3 words at a time. Is English my first language? Why do I suddenly have a 3rd grade vocabulary!? Holy fuck, I just kept swallowing hard, completely at the mercy of the image of KL prying apart some fabulously hot hunk playing on repeat from my memory.

Hopefully, I’ll keep getting opportunities to meet these men of my wrestling fantasies, and hopefully, someday, I’ll be able to pull off more than just the thick-tongued stammering of a star struck fanboy.

Consumer Report

March 6, 2014 wrestlebardLeave a comment

Coincidentally, not long after I received my custom video from Jonny Firestorm, a regular reader of neverland sent me a message to share how pleased he was with his experience booking a private match with Jonny. From his story (shared here with permission), I get the impression that the Jonny’s professionalism and the trust that he engendered were not unique to me. Here’s a consumer report on a private match with Jonny Firestorm.

jonny

“A weeks ago I had my first wrestling experience in a private match with none other than Jonny Firestorm. When I started planning this 2 months ago I never imagined how intense this experience would be. First I emailed Jonny about the idea for the match for his approval. Since this was kinda of a once in a lifetime opportunity I also asked him if another wrestler could join us too. With some convincing from his part, I was lucky enough to be initiated not only by Jonny but also by a fellow handsome BG East heel. The idea behind the match was that I was going to receive my first training “lesson”. What I got, of course, was a first-class -one hour and a half- rookie wrecking. I was put in all of the moves that you could ask for: camel clutches, bow and arrow, all kinds of headscissors and fig-4’s, over the knee and over the shoulder backbreakers, choke holds, corner abuse, double-teamed and even being forced to count myself out. My favorite moments? Being sleepered and pinned in all the variations of sleeper you could think of, particularly a crotch to face fig-4 executed by both Jonny and his heel friend. And of course there was a lot of trash talking and sexy teasing as you could find in any of his matches. It all made me feel like if I was part of the newest Jobberpaloozer installment.

I was amazed at how well Jonny adapted the intensity of the match to my personal level of strength and flexibility. I experienced some true stretching and pain at times, but it was really nice for me to have my pain tolerance being tested still within my range of comfort. Also, I was impressed on how well he incorporated all the requests that I made on the description for the match. This was my particular fantasy and everyone else’s maybe different. The impression I have is that Jonny would be able to satisfy whatever setting you would like to recreate.

Communication with Jonny can be tricky since his legions of fans probably flood his email every day. Just be patient. Jonny replied each and every of my emails along the way. And it was worth the wait, since just thinking about all of this still puts a smile on my face. It was just my best Christmas gift ever. “

Consumer Reports

March 5, 2014 wrestlebard7 Comments

I’ve known of at least half a dozen homoerotic wrestlers who have attempted to leverage their following into marketing more than what fans can access through the main producers. Most of those entrepreneurial efforts, I’m sad to say, have fizzled before they really began. I think the skill sets involved in being an awesome wrestler don’t always coincide with a strong business sense.

All of that said, I was excited to sample the goods when Jonny Firestorm launched his website and advertised some customizable products available. Having met Jonny in person during my pilgrimage to Pembroke a couple of years ago, I felt like I could trust Jonny as a vendor, and I feel that trust was well-placed. I zeroed in specifically on the “Custom Video” option. I emailed him. He was very responsive, trading messages back and forth to clarify the scope of what sort of match it might be and how I’d like to customize it. Jonny went to great pains to get all of my wish list made explicit, because, as he explained, the last thing he’d want would be an unsatisfied customer who was disappointed.

It was an interesting assignment, to put down into words for Jonny Firestorm what would turn me on. For having overshared on this blog for nearly 5 years (!?!), it took me by surprise how conspicuous and vulnerable it felt to paint by the numbers with Jonny exactly the scenario, the drama, the particular holds that would make me want to invest a considerable sum of money. And I’m thrilled to report that Jonny was a pro to work with, putting me at ease, drawing my desires out with remarkable sensitivity for working through the medium of email.

Regular readers won’t be surprised that I enthusiastically requested that Jonny’s co-star in this custom match be long-time favorite homoerotic wrestler fantasy man of mine, Lon Dumont. When Jonny got back to me to let me know that he could book Lon, I was a little dizzy with anticipation. He gave me a time frame to expect the match to get taped. In this case, it was a window of about a month and a half when they would have at least one or two opportunities to be in the same place. The weekend that the match was taped, I knew it was happening, and Jonny got back to me within a few days to let me know he’d take another week or two of editing before sending it out. In the mean time, he satisfied my request for some preview pics (featured here) to keep my fever running.

Jonny gave me the option of method of delivery (download, DVD, hell, he even said he might be able to dig up an old VCR tape if I really wanted that). When the match arrived, my heart was pounding with a level of excitement that I haven’t really felt since the early days of my life as a consumer of homoerotic wrestling products, when I’d nearly faint with anticipation when a tape would arrive, light-headed every inch of the distance between the mailbox and my tape player.

I LOVE my custom Jonny v Lon match! They hit about 90% of the marks I’d asked for. They were both in outrageously phenomenal shape. In fact, Lon was so close to being on stage for his next bodybuilding competition that he was pretty well near starved. While that made for awesome physique watching, it did leave him noticeably weak and pretty quickly tired out. Jonny apologized for that before I even saw the match. For the record, he had let me decide whether they should tape before or after Lon’s competition, so it was my choice. That said, at least half of what turns me on about both Jonny and Lon is the sell, the drama, and the mammoth personalities, which were there in abundance, even if the energy level was a little low.

One of the Bard-fetish elements that I asked for was a lot of dialogue, including between-fall extended commentary as the winner of each fall flexed for me as he explained how it is he defeated his opponent. The boys made that happen in ways that crack me up and totally arouse me at exactly the same time.

The cost was considerable, and I feel like I got my money’s worth. The time, the talent, and the production costs of putting it together are immense, I’m sure. More to the point, owning my own fantasy translated to the small screen starring Jonny Firestorm and Lon Dumont is incredibly satisfying. I’m sure costs vary depending on the specifics requested (e.g., I really wanted this to be a ring match, so booking a pro wrestling ring I’m sure comes with a price). But Jonny delivered, and for what Jonny (and Lon) delivered, I’m a very happy customer.

Ironically, within a couple of weeks of me getting my custom video, another wrestling fan and regular reader of neverland contacted me to let me know about his experience with another of Jonny’s product lines: a private match. I’ll share his consumer report tomorrow…

Tuesday Trunk Pulls

February 25, 2014February 24, 2014 wrestlebardLeave a comment

In a “fresh tugs” edition of Tuesday Trunk Pulls, there’s a big crop of trunk pulls in the new release section at BG East. I mean, a lot! If you need a little extra leverage, if you need a little handle to get everything in just the right position, always feel free to grab hold of the tiniest tether: your opponent’s trunks. And if there’s a camera nearby, treat the rest of us to a little pre-Christmas unwrapping party!

pulljonny2 — In Tag Team Torture 17, the 3-way barnburner between Jonny Firestorm, Mike Pitt, and Cameron Matthews gets vicious fast. Never one to shy away from jerking on his opponent’s trunks (and showing off some beefy ass), here Jonny drags Mike’s hips off the mat by his straining trunks.

pulljonny — An equal opportunity brutalizer, Jonny shows the same disrespect to Cameron Matthews, with the added bonus of showing us why Cameron is always a contender for the best butt award.

pullcameron — In a “reap-what-you-sow” morality tale, Jonny discovers that payback is both a bitch and a vicious wedgie when Cameron drags his fine ass across the ring by a double-fistful of Jonny’s purple trunks.

pullethan — Ethan Andrews does not need any additional advantage to completely squash, obliterate, and trounce lovely, lithe Lauden Sevior. But that doesn’t stop him from taking sick satisfaction in yanking on the go-go boy’s jock strap and long, flowing locks to add humiliation to total physical domination in Passion & Punishment.

pulljonah — Jonah Richards grabs everything he can to subdue fellow Raunchy Rookie Ken Okeda.

pulljoshua — In Hunkbash 15 Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) spends about 40% of the bout with his fingers yanking on Rio Garza’s trunks. Understandably.

pullkayden — Raunchy rookies know not to let a little fabric or “rule” get in the way, such as when Kayden “Hungry like the Wolf” Kayden pries Ty’s hips out of the corner with a severe yank on the trunks, in order to set him up for more gut punching brutality.

Our Man Inside

February 23, 2014February 22, 2014 wrestlebard1 Comment

Sharp eyes noted that there were some unreleased BG East photos embedded in my interview with Drake Marcos and Mason Brooks a couple of days ago. True enough, I recently received another super-secret parcel of behind-the-scenes and as-yet unreleased photos from an anonymous source who I will continue to refer to as “our man inside” BG East. The identity of this fan pleaser is unknown to me. I am under the impression that it is not Drake nor Mason, for example, however the way these photos are being passed to me makes it impossible for me to know where they actually came from. Some of them appear to be HD photos of yet-to-be released matches, looking like they were peeled off of the cutting room floor. Others are clearly candid photos that look like they’ve been taken with a camera phone. I keep expecting to hear about some BG East back office boy who was found at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico wearing cement galoshes, but apparently so far even the Boss has not sussed out the source or does not feel sufficiently compromised by the corporate espionage to take retribution. Either way, whoever you are, our man inside is my personal hero and still has a standing offer to be taken to dinner someday, should he dare reveal his identity to me. In the mean time, keep ’em coming, buddy!

Now, let’s pick through the latest scavenged treasures and lift a toast to our man inside! First, there was some hot smuggled swag that looks like it comes from a camera phone, capturing two of the sizzling young rookies I’ve been smitten by lately, Kayden Keller and Ty Alexander. Ty mentioned to me that he’s a gear-horse, and it looks like both he and Kayden enjoy hanging out in sexy, sexy, sexy gear between wrestling shoots.

The glimpse of facial hair and that hot ass convince me that this is Kayden “Hungry Like the Wolf” Keller.

Kayden's — Same gear, same hot ass, so I’m pretty sure this is what Kayden Keller looks like on a Saturday morning when he’s hanging out watching his cartoons.

Ty2 — Rookie Ty Alexander looks adorable despite the tough guy shades and stare over his shoulder. Hope we see that gear in the ring (on and off his body) soon.

This one is particularly mysterious for lack of clues to the identity of this silky smooth body. Because of the context in which the photos appeared, and because of the aforementioned fascination Ty tells me he has with gear, I’m thinking that sweet ass belongs to him.

That handsome face and those chiseled abs could belong to no one other than the hardest working hunk in wrestling, Cameron Matthews, apparently taking a break just long enough to soak in some sunshine.

Cam&Cam — And here is Cameron back at work again, possibly on the set of Tag Team Torture 17, with the camera trained on his hot, athletic body as someone, behind the camera, snaps this shot.

Jonny, Wolf, Drake — This looks like a shot from just before taping a match, with rookie Kayden Keller in the background, Jonny Firestorm looking board, and Drake Marcos daydreaming about finding someone he can beat.

LL04 Lon Bryce vs Graber Norm 048 — I haven’t yet seen Tag Team Torture 17, but I’m dying to see perennial favorite Lon Dumont in action again partnered with the humungous beast of a man here, Brute Baynard. I’m also making a mental note to ask Lon why he’s so enthusiastically pointing at Brute’s crotch.

WRKK-2 Kid K vs Dev Michaels-391 — This looks like a between-takes snapshot from the taping of (my reigning favorite wrestler) Kid Karisma‘s Wrestler Spotlight match against Dev Michaels. How do I apply for the job of rubbing down these two sweat soaked muscle boys to aid in their post-match recuperation?

Skrapper’s ass. Let me repeat: Skrapper’s ass. No more words need be said.

1379059_10151934584264655_969197928_n — Holy fuck, Skrapper is looking beefier and sexier by the minute! No wonder he had Trey Dixon quite literally begging for it by the end of their inferno-of-a-mat-match in Passion and Punishment!

1381081_10151934584399655_709571250_n — Who is taking these photos, and HOW CAN I TRADE LIVES WITH YOU!? This is now my screensaver. Skrapper just tapped on Kid Karisma’s shoulder to let him know that he’s in line to potentially knock the karismatic one off of the throne as my favorite homoerotic wrestler. Now let me unbutton those jeans with my teeth!

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