Author: wrestlebard

I'm a gay man with an active imagination.

Where’d Your Banter Go!? Where’s Your Mouth!?

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A trash talking, 6’1″ fitness model with an English accent… hello, Mr. Stanley!  Stretched and Split is Rock Hard Wrestling’s latest release starring said Britboy, Will Stanley.  The whole package is delightful, but those shoulders and that sexy as fuck hip tat are out of this world.  This match between Will and frequent tormentor Ethan Andrews is deeply satisfying and a gorgeous study in contrasts.

Will Stanley’s sculpted muscles glisten as he taunts and dominates Ethan Andrews

Will is jumping rope in the ring as the scene opens.  He rocks that skin tight navy blue singlet so hard it makes me gasp.  Some gear excels by it’s strategic absence, the expanse of skin left exposed.  Will’s singlet is stunning (well, Will is stunning in it) because of it’s presence, the obvious strain of the fabric as it molds to the bulges and crevices of this beautiful specimen.  It looks like something out of a 1950’s film, white piping, modestly square cut around Will’s powerful thighs, molded high up underneath his arms and covering at least half of the expanse of his broad chest. But there’s little left to the imagination.   His pecs and bulge bounce underneath as he dances on his toes, the jump rope moving so fast it’s pretty much invisible even in high definition.

Ethan has been on a roll, kicking hornets nests and picking fights with physique stars.  As he climbs into the ring with that permanent smirk tattooed on his face, he adopts a poorly executed faux English accent and snarls, “British wanker!”

I haven’t seen the tag team loss Ethan reminds Will of, but apparently Ethan was on the winning end of a double pretty boy beatdown over Will.  Ethan suggests that Will should probably be on the market for a better partner to watch his back (count me in!).  “I’m not interested,” the Brit snaps.  When Ethan finally tells the Brit to get out of his ring like the queen dismissing her subjects, Will is not amused.  “No, you can leave now. I was in the middle of my training.  I was here first.  It’s not your ring anymore.  I told you this. Off you go, come on.”  That “off you go” delivered with an English accent (and packaged inside an incredibly sculpted body) makes me laugh and adjust myself at the same time.  In those three words, he successfully communicates his contempt for Ethan, shooing him away like an adult slapping the ass of a petulant child.

In return, Ethan sucker punches the stud in the gut.  Ethan’s genius is his ability to set the pace, mount a pounding offense, and completely sell his capacity to not stand toe-to-toe with a towering physique star like Will, but out hustle, out maneuver, and dig deeper into his bag of dirty tricks to outsmart an opponent possibly overconfident in his superior conditioning.  He pounds Will with fists, backing the big Brit into the corner.  He’s relentless and focused, raining down blows that seem to make the lovely muscle stud wilt.  And yet, even while being choked beneath Ethan’s boot in the corner, the Brit stud sounds like he’s the one on top.  “You got nothing!  You should be taking notes!”

Ethan takes Will’s bulging muscles to the ropes early to knock the big man down to size.

Will’s mouth is the unexpected break out star in this match for me.  Early on, I have no idea if all those luscious muscles will be enough to dig the Brit beauty out of the hole Ethan digs for him, but holy hell, that trash talking, English accented mouth on Will is fucking awesome!  Ethan traps the stud in the ropes, stretching out Will’s beautiful muscles vulnerably as the heel pounds his mile wide back with kicks and knees.  He’s in a completely defenseless position.  Ethan is making mincemeat of all that glorious beef.  And still, it’s Will who snarls, “You just wait till I get up!” Ethan sits on his back, riding him like a thoroughbred while choking Will in the the rope.  “Enjoy it while you can, huh!” Will growls, demonstrating that even with Ethan’s entire bodyweight bearing down, he can’t hold the powerpacked Brit down.  “You put some more weight on there and it’d be so much more effective… fucking string bean!”

The “fucking string bean” owns the fitness model throughout most of round 1.

Ethan’s further genius is his accomplished skill at setting a plate.  Just like he did so gorgeously with Lon Dumont in BG East’s Hair Stakes match, he dishes up Will’s incredible physique tantalizingly.  With a backbreaker, he shows off the Brit’s sculpted body underneath that teasing singlet, prying the big boy backward and highlighting the beautiful beef in his pouch.  While Will’s obviously a serious athlete, Ethan’s clearly the one with superior ring savvy and wrestling experience.  He transitions from hold to hold smoothly and decisively.  A single leg crab allows the heel to punch the shit out of Will’s hamstring, sitting low on top of the Brit’s meaty ass.  Milking the hold (for possibly a fraction too briefly… RHW’s achilles heel, I think), Ethan abruptly flings the captured leg down and quickly scoops up the Brit hunk, giving that stunning muscled ass a squeeze on the way to slamming his back into the mat.

I want to lick that tricep!

Will grabs hold of the offense his first chance, outmuscling the heel and quickly mounting him, planting those big hands around Ethan’s throat and throttling him.  “Told you it wasn’t going to last long!”  The Brit’s got some smooth skills as well, transitioning to an arm bar and threatening to snap Ethan off at the elbow.  “How’s that feel, huh?” Will mouth woos me.  “You like that, huh?  You won’t be using this arm for a little while!”  It’s Will who peels the singlet straps off of Ethan first, to get a better view of the geography he’s raining down blows into.  Back on mount, he bashes Ethan’s gut with fists and then digs his fingers deep into the heel’s powerful core.  “How’s that feel, huh?  One day you might have abs too, huh?”

“Since you like strapless so much…!” Ethan returns the favor, exposing the muscle hunk’s torso.

The Brit beauty pushes his luck and leaves himself open for Ethan to reverse, which the veteran does commandingly.  “Since you like strapless so much,” Ethan peels the straps over the big man’s bulging shoulders.  Holy shit!  Forcibly half-disrobed, Will is amazing!  And that singlet is so insanely tight it clings to his ribs even as Ethan rains down blows into the big man’s mouthwatering pecs.  “Lookin’ and what you could have!?” Will taunts again from the bottom position.  Ethan’s transition to a Boston crab makes the big man groan, but on the receiving end of it, Will still taunts, “My abs needed a little stretch.”  The heel takes the stubborn muscle stud back to the ropes to stretch out that eye-catching torso.  Will’s pecs glisten under the lights as Ethan pounds his fists into it.  He endures the punishment admirably, but when Ethan threatens to decapitate the handsome hunk, literally hanging from Will’s neck, the Brit beauty finally gives away the first fall.  “God save the queen?!” Ethan snaps derisively. “God save YOU!”

“God save the queen!?  God save you!”

Staring with round 2 and lasting through the end of the match, Will has dragged his singlet straps down low, showing off the ink stretching from his hip and disappearing underneath his gear pointing toward his crotch.  His lucious ass cheeks bulge out over the top of the fabric sagging.  Ethan maintains the momentum for a while, latching onto Will’s injured leg like a terrier and pounding the shit out of is with stomps, knee drops, and kicks.  “Let’s see you try to stand on that now!” The heel’s rear naked choke once again displays Will’s mouthwatering bulge and naked torso stunningly. “I bet you’re wishing you were in England right now, snacking on your fish and chips!” smart mouthed Ethan taunts.

“Pretty good for a little guy, but it’s not going to last!” Will snaps right back.  That cocky banter from below turns me on so hard!  When Ethan mounts the stud and pummels his abs, the physique star flinches and flexes defensively, but through gritted teeth he maintains his hold on the verbal/psychological offense.  “I’m used to that shit.  It’s called conditioning.  You should try it!”  The stud remains Ethan’s bitch for a couple more minutes of increasing humiliation, including getting slammed into the turnbuckle and then mounted by his lean opponent, Ethan’s ass pounding up and down on top of Will’s sculpted chest.  Ethan slaps him in the face.  “Wakey, wakey,” he taunts.

Will’s most awesome, wild ride.

It might have been wise to leave the fitness model half asleep, because the moment Will leap frogs over a clothesline attempt, Ethan’s in for a shit load of muscle bullying.  All that smart ass trash talk from Ethan, all that muscle torture, suddenly gets served back to him in spades.  Will traps Ethan in the rope and begins the prolonged revenge session.  Again, too briefly he lets go of his opponent’s vulnerability in service of keeping up “the action” (which, I would argue, is actually secondary to selling the bone and soul crushing domination… but maybe that’s just me), but happily he quickly captures Ethan’s head between those gorgeous, massive, milky thighs.  “Feels good, huh!?” the Brit returns to wooing me.  Yes, yes, yes! I yell at my screen.  Where, oh where can I sign up for that ride!?

Will reminds Ethan of the insult he inflicted upon interrupting Will’s work out.

There’s a feel of an avalanche behind the muscle stud’s offense as he dominates more and more overwhelmingly.  Multiple times he leans over, peels Ethan flat off the mat, and hoists the battered heal up into his arms.  A rear bearhug nearly makes me explode as he bounces Ethan up and down, his pelvis thrust forward against the heel’s ass (me next! me next!).  It takes a lot to out trash talk Ethan Andrews, but as the wrestling offense slides securely into his grasp, Will’s arousing banter does nothing but turn hotter.  “You got nothing on me!” he taunts.  “Come on, get up!” he insists, only to kick Ethan back to the mat when he tries. “Because you disturbed my little training session,” Will uses his jump rope to choke Ethan.  He doesn’t need to at this point to even the score, but the submission isn’t Will’s primary purpose here, because he knows what he’s doing.  His purpose is to tell the story, which he does with skill that surprises and delights me.  “You got puny little legs, you need to go do some squats,”  he sneers, peeling Ethan backward, threatening to break his neck and/or back (whichever goes first).  “Look who’s beatin’ you!” the Brit snarls, pulling on Ethan’s hair to pry his face backward to look at his tormentor eye to eye.  The helpless heel submits. “Get out of my face, you disgust me!” Will snaps, throwing Ethan’s face to the mat and climbing to his feet.  He stalks in circles around Ethan’s body.  “Come back when you’re in my weight class!” he sneers down.

“Look who’s beatin’ you!”

As they start round 3, I’m completely sold on Will.  I’ll lose as many loads as the next guy on the muscled beauty who gets bashed and beaten by the less physically conditioned but more savvy opponent, but a big, beautiful, powerfully muscled, cocky as hell, masterfully trash talking fitness model (with an English accent!!!) can have me body and soul and leave me pulling for the muscle bully to work his magic.  When they lock up in a collar and elbow, Will taunts, “This is when muscle comes in handy, man!”  And true enough, he outmuscles Ethan and captures him in a gorgeous side headlock, grinding the heel’s face against his flexing pec and dragging Ethan stumbling around the ring.  “How’s that, comfortable, huh!?”

As the action is nearing its climax, Ethan shocks his powerhouse opponent with another attack on those  lickable legs.  He dishes up another gorgeously presented plate of muscled vulnerability, grapevining and then spladling the Brit hunk’s legs open wide, ass toward the ceiling, and threatening to rip him apart at the crotch.  “How does that feel!?” Ethan snarls, exhaustion evident in his voice.

“It’s fine!” Will grunts through gritted teeth. “I can deal with it!”

“It’s fine!  I can deal with it,” Will grunts back, obviously in pain but perhaps not quite as exhausted.  Perhaps serving up the ultimate I-told-you-so, it’s Will’s conditioning that seems to be the story as Ethan can’t keep his grip on the offense.  Will muscles free and back on top, decisively securing a standing surfboard that threatens to rip Ethan’s arms out at the shoulders.  The heel is fading fast, and Will delights in slowly (that’s what I’m talking about!) dragging his opponent to his feet by fistfuls of sweaty hair, only to taunt him and throw him back down again.   “Look at me when Im beating you!” the cocky Brit barks, rolling Ethan to his back.  Ethan’s done.  You know it.  Will knows it.  Ethan knows it.  The Brit looks down at him and can’t help but laugh.  “Look at you man!  Are you strugglin’?”  he uses Ethan as a punching bag in the corner.  He powers out a beautiful snap suplex out of the corner, slamming Ethan’s lower back into the center of the ring.  “Come on, get up!”  he taunts, throwing Ethan over one shoulder in a backbreaker and bouncing up and down as Ethan wails.  He pumps out some taunting squats with his opponent hanging over his shoulder helplessly, Will showing off his gorgeous quads.  About 2 minutes after we all saw Ethan’s doom written on the wall, the stunned heel gives up again.

“Where’d your banter go!? Where’s your mouth!?”

And then demonstrating a sadistic genius of his own that I didn’t know to expect from him, Will looks down and growls, “You know I don’t think that was enough.  I’m still not happy!”  He drags Ethan back to his feet to snap on a sleeper.  Ethan slowly sags in Will’s overwhelming muscle embrace.  “Where’d your banter go, huh?” Will taunts as Ethan goes slack in his arms.  “Where’s your mouth?” he asks as he puts Ethan out cold.  “Exactly what I thought! You sleep well, buttercup!”

This has been a tough couple of months for Ethan’s new releases.  My reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler,  Lon Dumont sleepered him out cold and shut up his smart mouth decisively for BG East in Hair Stakes, and now big and beautiful Will does the same for RHW.  All I can say is keep up that fantastically sexy work, Ethan!  Pick another fight with a stacked muscle stud because I (like I suspect you) seriously enjoy the muscleboys battling back to beat the living shit out of you and shut you up in the only way that seems to work.  And Mr. Will Stanley, I can’t wait to see you barely squeezed into that singlet again, and just as importantly stripped out of it on your way to bullying and beating up another smart mouthed punk!

What Turned Me Gay (again, not really)

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When I saw the news last week that the Olympics have preliminarily decided that they’ll drop wrestling starting with the 2020 Olympiad, I thought it was one of those Onion stories that people mistake for actual news.  What a patently ridiculous idea.  What more direct connection between the ancient Olympic games and the modern games than one of the few sports left that requires no equipment, no complex venue.  This sport doesn’t require a horse and a few million dollars to “compete” in.  Just a circle on a mat and two bodies pitting strength and skill against one another… but this is the sport that doesn’t fit in Olympic competition!?
The USSR’s Alexander Karelin fueled how many gay wrestling fantasies!?
The Russian wrestling coach who blames the gays for this decision similarly sounded like an obviously Onion-esque farce of a story.  Eliminating wrestling is apparently something designed on behalf of “the gays” to redefine masculinity, turning away from the spectacle of hot, nearly naked muscled bodies of male athletes squeezing and throwing and pinning one another as crowds watch on cheering.  Because, yeah, you know…. the gays surely hate that.  We can’t stand seeing that, can we?

Indian Kamar Sushil shows off his biceps as he threatens to rip an opponent’s head off on his way to gold. More, please.

As a couple thousands hits a day on this blog demonstrates, there are plenty of gays deeply invested in the perpetuation of wrestling.  Personally, the only voices in my life who I’ve heard up in arms about the decision belong to fellow gays.  But then again, it isn’t the first time a minority have been unfairly scapegoated to help the privileged cope with the unfamiliar experience of not getting their way.  The aforementioned Russian wrestling coach predicts that this is just one more step toward the gays ruling the world, so I say our first order of business once our insidious cabal has succeeded in supplanting world leadership with our 6 percent (or so) of the population, should be the reinstatement of Olympic wrestling.  And in the interest of historical accuracy, I say they should have to compete like the real men of 8th century BCE wrestled.  Naked.

American Jordan Burroughs own his opponent in last summer’s London games. 

One of my early memories of getting wildly turned on and fueling sexual fantasies for years to come was when I happened to catch the quarter final match on television between the US’s Steve Fraser and Swede Frank Andersson at the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics.  Blond and bronzed and looking like a Norse god toasted brown in the Southern California sunshine, Andersson was almost too pretty to believe.  The action was aggressive, fast, and visually stunning.  I was 13 years old, and even if I’d never been turned on by wrestling before (I had), this match would have been guaranteed to drive home the point that the drama, the power, and the beauty of wrestling would remain the most erotic thing in my life.  Yep, Olympic wrestling most definitely turned me gay (not really).

So sign petitions.  Raise a stink.  And remember that haters will hate, regardless of the topic.

Um, yeah.  Nothing about this for a gay man to want to see:
Egyptian Olympic wrestler Karam Gabar Ebrahim

Crowning a New Champion

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Lon Dumont: my instant infatuation

The first glimpse I ever had of Lon Dumont piqued my interest.  He was handsome and lean with beautiful muscles and a strikingly hot shaved head.  Sprinkle some salt in the crevices between his six-pack abs, stick a slice of lime in that mouth, and I’ll bring the tequila!  But while Lon was undeniably attractive in still frame, when I saw him wrestle Eddy Rey in what I still think is the sexiest forced-to-flex match I’ve yet seen, I was completely captured.  The swagger, the strut, the cocky trash talk… before Eddy even hoists his long muscle bod over the top rope to climb in, Lon already had me completely entranced.  Then that body and that attitude providing the platform for a completely self-possessed, high quality pro wrestling beatdown sold me lock, stock and barrel.  It didn’t take long for him to slide his hot ass into the top ranks of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers.

Lon is all smiles and good natured respect before a match
Lon was a finalist for votes in BG East’s Top Heel of 2012, but honestly, I think he’s hard to pigeonhole.  He typically starts out a match on an optimistic note.  He’s usually the first to show some respect for an opponent.  Out of the starting gate, Lon is more self-assured, good-natured, and witty than vicious, snarling or hell-bent on humiliation.  But then poke him a bit, as opponents always do, and you’ll get a rise out of him.  He’ll go from 0 to 60 in a split second.  It’s common to hear Lon muse wistfully, “It didn’t have to be this way,” in brief pauses between pounding the shit out of a dazed and confused opponent.  I get the impression Lon would enjoy it if his wrestling matches were gentlemanly contests of strength, skill and stamina between mutually respectful athletes.  Is this the mindset of a heel?  I’m not sure.  Then again, once he’s been provoked, once yet another cocky hunk has miscalculated the incredibly lean, aesthetically gorgeous physique star, the depth of his snarling, punishing cruelty is an astonishing thing to watch.  Thus provoked, the brutality stretching from corner to corner, trapped in the ropes, hair pulled, contempt raining down as Lon isn’t satisfied with literal victory, but insists on delivering complete humiliation and ego crushing psychological domination, certainly has the strong whiff of a highly accomplished heel.
Big Joe shows no respect
In Lon’s terribly mismatched ring battle with giant Joe Robbins in Gut Bash 8, he invited the massive side of beef in the ring with him to compare physiques.  As with most masses of muscle who climb into the wrestling ring, Joe is looking at different criteria in his side-by-side comparison.  Aesthetically, considering proportion, definition, overall conditioning, and the balance of leanness with muscle mass, Lon my be 95 pounds lighter and over half a foot shorter, but he’s head and shoulders above big Joe.  Lon gently insists on respect from the big man (which, of course, he doesn’t get) on every comparison of body part by body part until they get to flexing their quads.  Lon is the first to acknowledge that big Joe simply has him beat in that department.  Honestly, one of Joe’s upper thighs is about as thick as Lon’s waist (which says wonders about both bodies), but Lon puts it right out there that he’s got major work to do to get his legs in as mind-boggling a shape as his diamond carved abs.  Big Joe doesn’t give a flying fuck about Lon’s bodybuilding trophies and near approximation of perfect physical conditioning. The 240 pounder beats the living daylights out of my long time wrestler crush, determined to prove the point that his own undeniably strong, less defined abs are more “useful” than the living anatomy chart next to him.  I’m unconvinced that he proved that point, rather than establishing the fact that a 7 inch height advantage and a 95 pound weight advantage is hard to beat.  For my tastes, Lon takes the mugging like the champ he is, as exquisite in dining on suffering as he is on dishing it out.  But I’ll admit that my long-time infatuation with him strongly influences my interpretation of events.
Lon keeps improving on perfection

Lon has since been superseded in the ranks of my favorites by ass-tastic party boy Kid Karisma, but that’s hardly the extent of the changes.  As Hair Stakes illustrates, Lon is nothing short of shaggy these days, coming an incredibly long way from his former shaved scalp.  And of course Ethan Andrews is a mop head as well, establishing the highly entertaining premise of this match: loser loses his locks.  There’s been a good deal of armchair hairstyling from Lon fans, debating which “do” he rocks the best. Me, I’d sell my firstborn to get my hands all over him at any phase of his follicle development, though I have to admit I’ve got a big, roaring hard spot for watching Ethan wrap his fingers in Lon’s curls and drag him screaming across the ring.

Lon’s got a new hairdo and brand new bulging quads!

But holy hell, let’s not allow the title and explicit story of this match to distract us from the rest of what’s developed about Lon since I first fell in lust with him in Fantasymen 32.  He’s been through about 2 and a half competitive bodybuilding seasons since then, and his already worship-worthy body has come a long way.  Most provocatively for this viewer, Lon’s legs are phenomenal!

Hair Stakes, definitely… but look at those upper legs!

He’s certainly not going to get any more respect from big Joe Robbins, I’m sure, but a casual observer (or a rabid Lon Dumont fanatic, like me), has got to admit he’s packed on muscle mass while maintaining that insane, lean conditioning.  I think it helps that he’s not wearing knee pads, so we can see the mountainous heads on those lower quads (note to Lon: don’t wear knee pads).  But no one in their right mind can argue with the fact that like his hair, his legs have come a long, long way.

Lon takes the situation firmly in hand.

Having obsessed about his phenomenal body yet again, let me also repeat that Lon’s mouth continues to be one of the sexiest assets this stud brings with him in an already deep, deep arsenal of sexy assets.  Ethan is also a notorious trash talker.  His bread and butter at Rock Hard Wrestling is taking pretty muscle boys by surprise and destroying them in body while crushing them in mind and soul with his razor sharp tongue.  And perhaps that was his game plan when he climbed into the ring with Lon: one more muscle head to be taken for granted by only to out hustle with experience and dirty tricks along the way to watching them whither underneath an endless onslaught of ego bursting trash talk.  Verbally, the offense is Ethan’s from the start, because you know, Lon would have been just as happy to settle this like gentlemen.  Ethan is many things, but I can’t imagine he gets called a gentlemen often at all, at least not by his opponents.  He tells Lon he looks like a lesbian, which gets a slight chuckle and an eye roll from the bodybuilder.  Ethan drips condescension as he suggests Lon looks like a cancer patient in a bad wig.  Lon sneers and throws in another eye roll at both bad taste and poor humor.  But when Ethan suggests that Lon has crows feet, and that he’s probably getting too old to stay in the high impact game, Lon’s foot puts the pedal to the metal.  Note to future opponents: Lon does NOT like being mistaken for someone older than he is (how old is he?!).

Ethan is a master at serving up a dish of battered muscleboy most appealingly.

At the top of Ethan’s assets in homoerotic wrestling is his uncanny ability to not only make a pretty muscle boy suffer, but to display him so seductively.  When on offense in Hair Stakes, this match is no exception for him. He squeezes and stretches Lon’s bodybuilding competition-ready physique mouthwateringly.  He’s savvy and vicious and tenacious like a terrier (which is incredibly hot to me), and he sprinkles in verbal domination and slowly humiliating corporal punishment into this incredibly (and hilariously) sexy battle in which long hair is used by both battlers in delightfully creative, agonizing ways.

Lon’s lovely hamstrings and perfectly positioned ass!

With the extensive experience of both of these wrestlers, it should come as no surprise that the pace is relentless.  There’s little time spent jockeying for who’s on top because both boys are decisive and expert at applying holds.  It’s a chess match.  Move and counter, advantage secured then lost.

Lon’s curls bounce as he locks on a game changer.

But like so many smart ass hunks before him, Ethan can’t quite keep up with Lon’s barrage of trash talk or his mastery of the ring.  Lon subdues the scrapper by shutting his mouth for good, putting him out cold and displaying almost every one of his own mouthwatering muscles to perfection each step along the way.  Between being so beautifully displayed by young Ethan and then showing what all those pretty, pretty muscles are good for, this match does something momentous to me.  It stokes my Lon-mania back to full blast and results in the rare event of a change in the rankings of which wrestler owns me the hardest.

I’d trade places with Ethan here any… damn… time!

That’s right, Lon has upended (which, let’s face it, may be Kid Karisma’s best side anyway) Kid Karisma to decisively make me put the crown of my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler on his shaggy head.  Kid K is no more than half a step behind him by my count, so the competition is arousingly tight for the title.  I still give Eli Black the edge on a match by match comparison of Hair Stakes with Gut Bash 10 for the homoerotic wrestler of the month title.  But in the overall rankings, Hair Stakes gives Lon just the boot up on idle Kid K that he needs to climb to the top and sit very, very pretty.

Homoerotic Wrestling Fiction

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I’ve been catching up on a backlog of scorching hot homoerotic wrestling fiction submitted by a couple of excellent authors for the Sidelineland group.  I’ve been sitting on them a while, unfortunately, due to my diverted attention, but I’ve had time to get a few contributions posted in the past few days, and what a pleasure!

The stars of The Cave 9: Working it Out
Alex has two new chapters up in The Cave series.  If you haven’t read any of The Cave’s 9 chapters, smack yourself in the head and get caught up, because these most recent two matches are barnburners.  The many fans of The Cave know full well, and appreciate, the compelling drama charting the unraveling of the long-time best friendship between Cody and Ryan.  Once invincible sex wrestling stud, Cody, is The Bat to Ryan’s Bane, and big Ryan’s coconspirator, Pete, is more than ready to take Cody’s place as Ryan’s BFF (and sex puppy, and secretary, and life coach, and…).  The Cave 8: Working It Out documents the moment that the supervillainy honeymoon comes to a screeching halt, and Ryan and Pete turn heavyweight pent-up tension into a vicious, ass pounding mat match.

Cody is gorgeously stuck between a rock (Ryan) and a hard place (Ben) in The Cave 9: Three’s Company
Then in Chapter 9: Three’s Company, Alex has pulled together so many strings from the entire Cave series, but particularly chapters 7 and 8, for the sexiest three-way ring match I’ve ever read!  The slow burning grudge and long road to atonement between Cody and Ryan comes to a head with the addition of the incredibly hot catalyst of Cody’s (chapter 7) wrestling conquest/fuck buddy Ben more than holding his own, and indeed holding, squeezing and clawing his way into being an integral component of the high impact, fuck stakes reckoning of the former BFFs.

Big Sexy as Jobberinnyc’s “The Bartender”
The third new story I’ve posted to Sidelineland in the past few days is the sophomore contribution of Jobberinnyc, who’s given us a fantastic erotic wrestling fantasy between the wrestling kinked, 40 year old narrator and an unexpected, full contact, psychologically seductive home invasion of his 20-something hardbodied bartender.  Jobberinnyc told me that the title character was inspired my interview with my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, Kid Karisma, and the physical template of aptly named Big Sexy.  Now that’s a mind blowing combination!  And Jobberinnyc absolutely delivers what could easily be considered the manifesto for homoerotic wrestling jobbers everywhere.
The stars of the Producer’s Ring office beatdown Secretarial Pool 8, Nick Youngquest and Andrew Stetson

And one last bonus for you today comes from the pages of my homoerotic wrestling fiction collaborations.  A fan has been lobbying me for a while now to resurrect the career of deposed and humiliated former executive assistant and power hitter in the corporate world of my post-apocalyptic homoerotic wrestling universe, Andrew Stetson.  Andrew was a star in action and behind the scenes of several matches from the Producer’s Ring, and as added incentive to get me back to writing in the Producer’s Ring, and to get my fantasies back on the magic that Canadian model Andrew weaves in my imagination, a generous fan commissioned this graphic from one of Andrew’s most brutal matches.

Artist Guanino’s depiction of Nick Youngquest teaching Andrew Stetson a lesson he’ll never forget
From The Secretarial Pool 8, this is also one of my favorite out-of-the-ring images as well, in which Aussie sexbomb and rugby muscleboy Nick Youngquest locks the door of Andrew’s office to rip ‘n’ strip the upper management hottie and teach him a lesson in failing to exploit Nick’s talents to their fullest.  This match was a collaboration with another collaborator, Swito (still out there, Swito?  Haven’t heard from you in a while), who joined me in letting our imaginations run wild with picturing how homoerotic two hardbodied hunks can get when they’re locked up tight in a corporate office.  I particularly enjoy the creative use of Andrew’s tie, the last remaining item of clothing left to him, by the innovative and sadistic Aussie.  Extremely fine artist Guianino (who you MUST check out his blog and collection of homoerotic art!!!) has captured this moment from the story beautifully!

Indeed, I’m inspired!  I’ve been getting words on the page recently with a couple of Sidelineland projects and a couple of Producer’s Ring matches as well (sign up for access to the full archives if you haven’t already, and send me your works of original fiction to share, too!).  It’s good to be writing again, and it’s even better to enjoy the collective efforts of so many creative artists sharing the joy of homoerotic wrestling.

Love Putting on a Show!

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First 3-time winner of my homoerotic wrestler of the month title: Eli Black

There’s at least one person who was entirely unsurprised by my choice of Eli Black as the first 3-peat homoerotic wrestler of the month here at neverland: Eli Black.  In response to my post announcing his ascendancy to the HWOTM title for the record third time, I received this private message from him:

“And your… three time… HWOTM… Eli Black!!!!!!!!!!! All I can say is it’s about damn time, and trust me, I’m damn sure there is a lot more to come. I’m going to be the unbreakable record holder of championships!!!!! Because this is my world, and it’s what I do. Yins lucky to live in it and witness my glory!”

“… witness my glory!”

Eli’s supreme self-confidence doesn’t stoke everyone’s fire the way it does mine, but I’m completely sold on his laser-beam focused intensity and ferocity.  Oh, and his ass is astonishingly hot.  And his abs are fucking granite.  I replied to Eli:

“You’ve clearly convinced me (and Diego Diaz!)! Not like I need to tell you this, but the praise for your work is very well deserved. You are definitely the stud to beat!”

Eli convinces big Diego Diaz that he’s more than man enough for a “big man’s fight”

While you may not care for Eli’s style, you shouldn’t mistake his absolute certainty in his destiny as contempt.  He’s devastatingly brutal on the mat, in the ring, and in the cage, true.  He sports the conditioning of a stark raving, possibly diagnosable physique fanatic, sure.  But he also loves the drama, the suspense, and the spectacle.  He replied back to me:

“Thanks man. Love putting on a show!”

And perhaps that, more than anything, is what earned Eli his record 3 HWOTM titles (all in less than 12 months time, no less!).  He’s a showman as much as he’s an athlete, as much as he’s a badass, as much as he’s a fighter.  And he loves it.  And on the scene just over a year, he’s been a great addition and a high impact player in the world of homoerotic wrestling.

Keep ’em coming, Eli!  I’ve learned not to bet on the other guy!

“Love putting on a show!”

A Big Teddy Bear

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Former homoerotic wrestler of the month (October 2011) Aryx Quinn has one of the fiercest and most quickly mobilized base of fans of anyone featured on the pages of this blog.  Just about any poll he’s ever been part of here at neverland has resulted in his victory because within moments of the poll going live, his people are tweeting and retweeting instructions on stuffing the ballot box to over 9,000 followers.  I’ve been fascinated by his comic book proportions (tiny little waist and insanely wide shoulders) since I first saw him bring his particular brand of sexy to the BG East ring several years ago.  The opportunity to interview and get to know the curiously personable infamous heel was a pleasure for me, and the coincidence of getting to chat with him as his newest match from BG East was released, in which he takes full possession of sexy Alexi Adamov’s rippling muscles in Ring Revenge, was just fortuitous timing. The following is an odd mix of intimate self-disclosure and enigmatic diversion, which I suppose in some ways is emblematic of the complex young man who strikes terror in the heart of wrestling opponents and ecstasy up the ass of porn co-stars.

—————————
Aryx Quinn likes it hot

Bard: Just following you on Twitter is exhausting! Your travel schedule is mind-boggling! So I’m extra appreciative of you being willing to take a little time to answer some questions at neverland for your homoerotic wrestling fans. Most wrestling fans probably know you primarily as Aryx Quinn, while fans of mainstream gay porn may more readily recognize you as Tristan Baldwin. Any other names you’ve worked under? What should I call you, and where do your stage names come from?

Drake Marcos,
“time to do some fact-checking, son!”

Aryx: Thanks for the opportunity for an interview so that all your devout neverland followers can have answers to the questions that may have been itching at them over the years. Let me first begin by saying that your interview with Drake  Marcos was phenomenal. However, I think the kid’s tone in referring to wrestlers who are retired or out of the scene is somewhat off. Time to do some fact checking, son…because some of the wrestlers he referred to are very much NOT retired [laughing].
     As far as the ‘nomenclature’ or name game that seems to follow me – here is the reason why: the Aryx Quinn character’s origins were actually when I was a young teen playing Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I was a total ‘dork’ in society’s eye, but I could care less – I’m happy with me. Aryx was everything I wasn’t: tall, strong, handsome, confident.  For a pimply faced, unpopular, weak teen, he was a vessel in which to throw my dreams. Never thought I could be him,  until you fast-forward 10 years, and a stint in the 82nd Airborne later…came out as a changed boy into a man.
     Aryx was born, and into BG East he went. Out of respect for Kid Leopard, I kept the character’s name separate when taking it into a purely sexual role. The Tristan Baldwin moniker was a hybrid of two things.  Apparently, I look a bit like Stephen Baldwin, and some of my favorite characters have been named Tristan – namely Brad Pitt from legends of the fall, and Tristan from Tristan and Isolde. Other than that? There aren’t any other names I work under, and in retrospect, I wish I had just stuck with the basic Aryx Quinn for it all.

As Tristan Baldwin, Aryx gives gang-bang porn two thumbs up

Bard: You give courage to the legions of pimply faced, unpopular weaklings out there dreaming of growing into hard-bodied fight and fuck machines! I hope that’s not over the top… you’re absolutely phenomenal when you wrestle, and though I don’t spend a lot of time in mainstream gay porn, you’ve got a reputation as a crowd pleaser there as well. Since you brought up young Drake Marcos’ fawning, if slightly misleading, comments in his recent interview here, let’s start out with you telling us about where you are in your career right now. Definitely not retired, obviously! What projects are you working on now or expect to be soon?

Talk about “it gets better!”  Pimply faced weakling no more!

Aryx: Thanks Bard! I’d hardly consider myself an icon or motivator to legions of pimply faced fans, but at least I feel I would be representing my own kind well. As far as being a hard-bodied fuck machine, your’e making me blush. Don’t share my secret too much, or I won’t be able to find future victims. As far as my status with porn and also with wrestling, I’d like to think that certain aspects are like wine: they only get better with age. Right now, I’m at closest to the largest I’ve ever been in my life based on strength and muscular density. Given that I’m at my peak muscle-wise, why on god’s green earth would I stop wrestling? Although there has been a slowdown at Can-Am regarding production of a lot of wrestling videos, it is my intent to jumpstart that soon. Although there are a lot of talented wrestlers I’d like to face that are in BG East, given that the two feds do not intermix, it is unlikely that these matches will come about. Thus, Drake Marcos is safe for the time being.  As a slippery little snake you can’t get your head cut off if you don’t crawl out of your hole, after all. More likely than anything else, I’ll be participating in a bodybuilding show in the spring. Just to say I did one, after all.

Aryx trains for a bodybuilding competition

Bard: Your secret is way, way out when it comes to being a hard-bodied fuck machine, Aryx! And you say you’ve got more muscle now than ever!? I hope you’ll send me photographic evidence of this to share on the blog. I’m glad to hear that you’re planning on stirring the pot at Can-Am again. You infused a ton of character and story into their catalog when you arrived, which is something I appreciate in wrestling. But tell me, what’s up with the deep divide between Can-Am and BG East, do you think? It seems like more than just market competition. And when you arrived at Can-Am and laid down what has to be the sexiest trash-talking homoerotic wrestling challenge in history with a naked, sweat and cum soaked Rusty Stevens in Arena 1, there’s some pretty explicit Boston-trashing going on from both of you. Are there any hard feelings between you and the BG East boys?

Did Aryx cross a line
with Rusty Stevens?

Aryx: I’ll definitely keep you posted with updated pictures. As far as infusing energy into their product, I’m not the one with the checkbook, so unfortunately I don’t have the last say. Ron is doing very well with his main stream porn product line so the wrestling has, unfortunately, fallen to the wayside for him. I’m hoping to convince him otherwise. He has a great flair for the dramatic and knows what wrestling products will sell well, but there is only a finite limit of how much time there is in the day to produce content. As far as Rusty Stevens goes, I have no comment. Anyone who researches the history of things knows what was said and what was out of line. And we are talking about character and how to tell a story. IRL- In Real Life.
     As far as the comments trashing the East Coast and a certain Boston-based company, all I can say is that loyalty to a person should exceed everything else. The same mindset is not embraced in the leadership at BG East. For every new fish you think you’ll hook on the line you lose two that you already have on the strainer. Hard feelings? Lots of them. If you don’t know a good thing when you see it you’ll certainly know when it hits you with a clothesline.

Bard: Cryptic and pointed all at the same time! You’re a complex man, Aryx Quinn. Since I’m the one that has you on the line at the moment, so to speak, I don’t want you to get away without telling me some juicy bits about what you think are the highlights of your wrestling career thus far. Like I said, your verbal tussle with Rusty in Arena 1 followed by your full contact physical tussle in Arena 2 are some of my all time favorite mat moments. If you had to put your finger on one or two most memorable wrestling moments for you, what and who would you finger?

Nick Archer impressed Aryx with brains, brawn and bravado

Aryx: Well Bard, I do agree that the battle with Rusty Stevens was one of the most climactic in my career. Both muscle wise and verbal wise, he’s one of the few that could bring it to the next level. Other guys that I absolutely enjoyed wrestling were guys like Nick Archer. Such brawn, such brains, such bravado. Mike Colombo was another great wrestler that I loved squaring off with.  However, we never taped anything for BG East. It was all outside the ring. Perhaps I can release the one tape I do have of it in my own chronicles someday.

Aryx grew unintentionally stiff with Brad Rochelle

     Wrestling with Brad Rochelle was also interesting. At one point in the match (the Contract) I legitimately hurt him…was unintentionally very stiff. Brad absolutely lost it on me and for a good 10 minute segment of that match.  It was full-on real wrestling.

Mitch ripped out both of Aryx’ nipple rings

Another similar moment was when I was facing off against Mitch Colby for BG East, down in Florida [Ringwars 20]. At that time I had my nipples pierced, and I asked him if he was going to be punching me to make sure he kept the shots low and in the gut rather than high up on the chest. In all the confusion and hectic-ness of the match, he ended up punching and tearing out not just one, but both of the nipple rings, and I was literally bleeding and in intense pain during the match. It was not an easy one to work through.
     From a humor standpoint I remember during a taping when I was battling against Jimmy Gee.   Jonny Firestorm was just outside the ring. I continually was calling Jimmy a slob over and over and over again, and Jonny was just in stitches laughing.  It’s become a nonstop joke between us ever since.

Bard: You’ve got your own private collection with a Mike Colombo match?! I can name a dozen fans that would pop a cork to see that! It sounds like both the major bumps and bruises as well as the humor and good fun stand out for you. I’m glad your nipples have recovered from Mitch’s punishment! Are there any matches that stick out as particularly sexy from your perspective as a wrestler? Any particular opponents that turned you on hardest? Any particular moves, maneuvers, gear or settings that get your engine revving loudest?

Who else wants to see the lost tapes with Aryx wrestling Mike Columbo!?

Aryx: Thank you for being glad that my nipples survived Mitch’s punishment. I’m glad as well! Yes, the Mike Colombo tapes are great, but they’re very raw and rustic. It would take a lot of finishing work to make them good video for commercial use. Some fans might actually prefer that they’re so raw and rustic. As far as matches that stick out in the sexy category, to me sexiness is associated with suffering and dominance. The match with AJ Irons definitely falls into that bracket. To see him suffer so beautifully, such a great body on display, crying and murmuring in pain, is hot to me. He takes his beating like a real man, and he came back for more later, trust me. I love singlets especially singlets that are pulled halfway down from the shoulders, pinning the arms. Also love trees of woe and holding guys in the corner and in the ropes. See, you can beat them mercilessly… fuck them as you see fit.

AJ Irons “was born to be a jobber”

Bard: I’ve only seen pics from your match with AJ Irons. It sounds like that needs to go on my list of matches to see! From the promotional photos, it looks like AJ gets the full treatment, including an incredibly sexy tree of woe session. Since you’re training toward a bodybuilding competition, let’s talk for a moment about your body. At this point, when you’re at the top of your conditioning, what part of your physical development are you proudest of? What parts of your incredible physique are mostly genetic gifts, and what parts do you have to work at more?

Bulging shoulders and biceps

Aryx: Yes, AJ takes a beating like you’ve never seen before. Ron actually had to stop the taping at one point because I was throttling him so hard. But he was loving every second.  That kid was born to be a jobber.  I wouldn’t say I’m at the exact top of my point of conditioning, but I’m getting there. Once I do a few ” supplements” I think I’ll be in a better position to be competitive. Plus, I really need to tighten down the diet. My shoulders and biceps are always the biggest naturally and easiest part to train, whereas my chest and legs are the worst. I really have this mental block against training legs, unfortunately, just because I travel so much. I mean who really wants to be walking or stumbling around an airport after doing squats the day before and being unable to walk long distances necessary. It really is torture on yourself. How about you? The faceless being behind the website? What parts would you need or like to work on. Perhaps we can push each other! [laughing]

Bard: Why, thanks for asking! My core has always been my major strength. I can do an ab workout for hours. Quite a bit of Pilates and yoga have probably helped accentuate that over the years. My top weakness is the same as yours. I just despise leg workouts. I don’t enjoy them and seldom prioritize them, so it shows. Tell me the secret that works for you once you find it!

Aryx: Chances are I’ll never find. After all, the process of searching for something means you’re going to fail may times before you find it. I really don’t feel like failing that many times with legs before I find the right answer on how to do them. [laughing]

Bard: What are some things that fans don’t know about Aryx Quinn? What are some of your passions, other than dominating an opponent and fucking him dizzy?

Who’s top dog here?

Aryx: Outside of wrestling and working out, Aryx Quinn adores a tiny little black puppy named Madison… dresses her up in outfits and the whole 9 yards. I’ll have to send you some pictures. Throw those in the interview, but it might ruin the tough guy image. It’s pretty sad, but despite being a muscleboy, I still take orders from her. She’s just so damn cute. In the military I served as a paratrooper, so skydiving is still a great past time for me. I just don’t have the time to do it as much anymore. I have a personal rig and everything, but just don’t jump that often. I actually love to cook and am a huge fan of swordfish, steaks, scallops, shrimp, and especially clams like little necks, cherrystones, and quahogs. I think the real reason I like seafood is that it’s drizzled in butter. Probably why I’m such a huge fan of asparagus just because of the hollandaise sauce. Did I mention my diet needed some tightening down?  [laughing]
    Huge fan of the outdoors and being in the sun, so places like Vegas, San Diego, Los Angeles and Florida are on my list of priorities, year round. Prefer to be hot than cold any day. Aryx Quinn went to college for criminal justice but obviously not into enforcing the law …I’m into breaking it. [laughing]

Aryx “detains” and pats down hunky Alexi
in BG East’s new release Ring Revenge

Bard: Criminal justice!? Now that does surprise me. I’d have guessed economics or marketing. Then again, advanced training in involuntary detention and social deviance totally makes sense, having seen your wrestling repertoire! And the fact that you’re bonded to a dog is only further evidence of my long-standing theory that guys with dogs are automatically many times sexier. Please do send me pictures of you and Madison! I don’t think it will do anything for your image other than make you that much more of a fan favorite. Muscleboys infatuated with their puppies are incredibly hot! Can you tell me any more about your paratrooper days? My entire frame of reference for military service is limited to bad gay porn involving guys in fatigues throwing down in the barracks and fucking each other for hours on end. It’s just like that, isn’t it? [laughing]

Aryx: As far as economics or marketing, I’ve definitely always had more of a business mind than a law-enforcement mind.  However those skinned up hairdos and tough alpha male looks always attract me. Social deviance. That’s me in a nutshell. Do you know that during the polygraph screenings for the state of Connecticut for the majority of the police departments, there is a section entitled ‘deviance?’ Here there are a variety of questions that they ask you about inappropriate things you might of done at work or during sex, and believe it or not, one of the questions pertains to homosexuality… almost as if it’s a deviant topic! Why list it under this heading, unless they clearly don’t approve? So politically incorrect it’s not even funny.

Aryx stokes my military porn fantasies

     The army was an interesting time for me. I grew up very small – not very muscular – just lean and fast, but not very bulky. I swear, I put on 30 pounds the first summer when I enlisted. It really did make a man out of me. I was stationed at Fort Bragg in North Carolina with the 82nd airborne, and then later with USACAPOC, part of SOCOM (special operations command). Although our soldiers typically aren’t paid very much – the sheer majority live at or below the poverty line – it was one of the most fun and exhilarating times my entire life. Because your basic needs of food and housing are taken care of, it allows you a lot of time to concentrate on what you really enjoy… your body, going out, reading, movies. I really feel like I had less stresses when I was in the military than any other time in my life.
     Bard, you laugh! Your “bad porn” fantasy of guys in fatigues throwing down in the barracks isn’t far from the truth. It was always commonly known that if you wanted something it could be had. There was also a room at the end of the hall where we put extra mattresses… entire room was covered them. We called this the boom-boom room. If two guys had an issue they could go into the room, fight it out, wrestle it out, choke each other out, beat each other, get it out of their system. Hot, hot stuff.

Bard: Damn! I’m going to have to reevaluate my “military” wrestling porn! And I took what was, I’m sure, the same standardized mental health test that you’re talking about, for a job I once had. I was also shocked about the homosexuality questions. That test was originally developed over 70 years ago, and there are a lot of ridiculous questions that never made good sense, but today they’re downright insulting. I’m glad that times are changing when it comes to recognizing what’s “normal” is broader and deeper than what many people used to think it was decades ago.
     So I just saw on your Twitter feed that you were named Escort of the Year. Congratulations! I was just getting turned on by reading several of your clients’ extremely satisfied reviews of their time with you. It sounds like a lot of them find it a special treat to have you put on some wrestling gear and work them over as a dominating heel. What do you think about the role of wrestling kink, pain, and domination in the sexual fantasies of so many gay men?

“… at least 30 to 40% of my calls involve
wrestling or gear.”

Aryx: Although many people would look at winning an award like escort of the year and laugh about something like that, saying it’s nothing to be proud of, etc., the way I look at it is that if you’re going to do something, don’t do it half assed. Whatever you’re going to do, be the best at it. I try and bring a ton of energy to every session, and whether the guy is a great-looking muscle boy or an older, heavyset guy with physical limitations, you as the escort have the sole capability to make that person feel good. To me, I enjoy making others in this world smile. Whether it be what I do on tape or whether it be what I do in person.  It’s always nice to be remembered.
     Let me tell you, the wrestling and gear fetish is much more widespread than people think. When I say that at least 30 to 40% of my calls involve wrestling or gear of some kind… it’s pretty cool. Also, it makes you wonder. Given that there so many people out there that are into this, how come people from global fight don’t actually link up more? It seems like there are so many flakes out there or people are too closeted about it, when there is no reason to be. It’s completely normal, and if you think you’re alone, you’re not.  There are a shit ton of people into this.

“Whatever you’re going to do, be the best at it.”

     As far as pain and humiliation in the fantasies of gay man, I actually have a negative outlook on it. I get a ton of requests (that I refuse to honor) of guys that want to be punished because they are gay. Many were raised in households where it was thought to be an embarrassment, where they had to keep it closeted, so they thought they were letting their families down or were disappointments. They don’t realize that times have changed. I cannot tell you how many requests I get for being called a ‘filthy worthless faggot’, and have these fantasies about being punished by ‘straight’ jocks. I just won’t do calls like this. Physical pain and humiliation/dominance I will, but that kind of disgusting mental stuff is too much for me. I actually am a big teddy bear, believe it or not.

Bard: Regarding the “punish me” aspect of homoerotic wrestling, I’ve often wondered how much internalized crap there could be in some corners of our kink world… the “hurt me ’cause I’m just a little faggot” self-hatred script…. I’m glad to hear it’s a line you won’t cross. When I see the “smear the queer” theme in wrestling products, I have a similar response. I just walk away.

Aryx: I couldn’t agree more with the total disgust towards the ‘smeer the queer’ direction that not just some wrestling products, but mainstream porn too, is heading in! Men.com is infamous for having ‘gay-hazing’ scenes, and I cannot understand for the life of me why people are purchasing such a product! It’s disgusting! I’ll never cross that line, no matter how much you pay me. Or…errr…well….it’d have to have a lot of zeros…and then when it clears, I’ll come and kick the ass of the person who produced it,
for real. [laughing] … and use the money for my legal defense.
     By the way, boy do I have news for you! A guy who enjoys wrestling that I connect with outside of work, is friends with Drake Marcos. He FaceTimed..which is a live connection via phone like Skype… with Drake while we were wrestling together in a hotel room. So Drake saw me battle my friend for over two hours! Isn’t he just a cute little thing?! Cheshire Cat, indeed. As I was putting my friend into hold after hold, I was sure to look at the phone and give the finger and talk shit to him…and I cannot wait for the day that we get to battle.

Maddy and her muscleboy

Bard: Hot damn, that may be one of the hottest erotic wrestling fantasies I’ve heard in a long time! I have it on good authority that Drake was blown away by the opportunity to see you in action live. The voyeurism, the trash talk toward Drake while working over his buddy… holy shit that sounds so… damn… hot! That infamous grin on Drake’s face is going to be permanently tattooed there!
     On the theme of you being a big teddy bear, I just got the pics you sent of you and Maddy, and it’s clear that that girl’s got you wrapped around her little paw. Adorable, and that adoring smile on the face of notorious wrestling badboy Aryx Quinn is astonishingly sexy. Love it!
     You’ve been really generous with your time during a busy time of year. I want to thank you for being so patient with me in getting this interview lined up. Anything else you’d like to say to your legions of wrestling fans?

The one in the driver’s seat…

Aryx: Bard, you haven’t been a burden on my time at all! It’s a welcome opportunity to address the fans directly, without the censorship or ‘character’ or the respective federations kinda enforced upon it. I think it’d really blow a lot of the fans’ minds, if they saw what some of the BGE and Can-Am guys were like, ‘out of character.’ Total role reversals. Thanks again for your time too, stud, and I hope you have a great upcoming year! Give me a buzz or an email any time.

Mahalo, Aryx!

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

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February has arrived, and with it a horrendously difficult decision on my part when it comes to anointing a new homoerotic wrestler of the month.  BG East alone pumped out an incredibly deep bench to draw from.  Just sticking to the very, very top of the line wrestling that grabbed me hardest, I’m seriously drawn to finally put Kid Vicious where he belongs on the throne for his mouthwatering destruction of Len Harder in Ball Bash 3.  Former HWOTM and current top contender for the title of my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, Lon Dumont, worked nothing short of magic in his hilarious and incredibly sexy Hair Stakes match with frequent nominee for HWOTM, Ethan Andrews.  Eli Black stuffs the ballot box with two hard hitting Gut Bash 10 matches, the most eye-catching for me pitting him against insanely sexy (and shoe-in for a starring role in Hair Stakes 2) Diego Diaz.  Former HWOTM Aryx Quinn and Alexi Adamov put up an automatically iconic muscle on muscle ring battle in Ring Revenge, and in separate matches, former HWOTMs Denny Cartier and Jonny Firestorm are instant contenders for the title on that release as well (it would be a 3-peat for Denny!).  I’ve already swooned publicly over two rookies who made my eyes pop out in their go-go boy beatdown in Motel Madness 12: Serbian sex god Arn Nedic and insanely beautiful babyface Brit Connor Cross.  And speaking of big, big rookie splashes, the tidal wave set off from massively hairy beast Alain Leclair getting the hands-on welcome that only a devotee of homoerotic wrestling line Ben Monaco can give in Mat Scraps 2 tweaks my impulse to tap a rook.  At Thunder’s Arena, a leaner vision of Z-Man is back against a thonged, bootilicous muscle boy by the name of Specimen in Mat Wars 37.  Rock Hard Wrestling put out a lip-licking babyface muscle battle between Brodie Fisher (who needs to compete in a most luscious nipples contest with Mason Brooks) and Jason Kane in Strength and Struggle. RHW also celebrated the new year with a Brutally Bashed tag team match (always a score for me) that makes me award a second nomination for Ethan Andrews as well as Brit pugilist Will Stanley (I’m a sucker for an accent… and a lower abdominal tat… and muscles….).   Muscle Domination Wrestling has been demanding some of my time recently with matches like mouthwatering daddy’s boy Damien Rush Piledriving the hell out of Tony Law, and an entrancing, nay, hypnotically wonderful performance piece starring Mr. Franchise Master Kevin as the Immortal Vampire to Damien Rush’s Renfield as a members-only release.  Did I miss anyone?  Probably. Sorry boys.  My mind is already spinning out control with so much high class hotness to choose from.  It’s not like any of the above fail to deliver exhaustingly satisfying homoerotic wrestling performances.  But push, shove, and I’m forced to pick as the one homoerotic wrestler of the month…
5’6″, 135 pounds: Eli Black
… the first 3-peat winner of the Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month title, Eli Black.
Eli isn’t even at the same altitude as Latino giant Diego!
There’s more than a hint of a David v Goliath element about the confrontation between 5’6″ and 135 pounds of painfully lean fighting machine Eli Black and the 6’3″ and 184 pounds of long, luxurious, sculpted Latino lover Diego Diaz.  Diego’s laughter rumbles from deep in his chest when Eli finally convinces him that he’s Diego’s opponent.  The lightly hairy chested tallboy sucker punches the MMA fighter, lifts him off the top turnbuckle where Eli is perched, and quite literally flings Eli more than halfway across the ring.  Holy fuck, the difference in size between these two wrestlers is astonishing!
Gorgeous Diego glistens as he owns Eli early on!

Early going, and this is all about Diego.  He’s overwhelming.  He bullies and outmuscles Eli like he’s pummeling a 3rd grader for his lunch money.  The condensation drips slow and sticky off of Diego’s pouty lower lip as he scoffs at the gross ignorance of whoever thought to send this little kid into the fray against a hairy chested skyscraper of a hunk like him.  He peels Eli up off the mat like snatching a lucky penny off the sidewalk.  He flings him into the corner and completely overwhelms typically fiercely offensive (in many ways) Eli Black, leaving the anatomy chart of a battler wilting into the ropes.  Eli’s chiseled abs are bright red within a couple of minutes of Diego’s massive mitts pounding them like a tough cut of beef.  What the fuck were they thinking, indeed!?

Diego totally dominates and looks like a god as he does it!

The story they tell is more complex than this, but let me just cut to the point at which Eli persistently grabs me by the chin and yells in my face that he’s the only possible candidate for HWOTM.  Diego is completely brutalizing “the kid.”  It’s ugly, I tell you (in an awesome way).  He’s twist-tied Eli into the ropes to stretch out those gorgeous abs and leave him wide open for the Latino heartthrob’s gargantuan fists to punch unobstructed. He’s picked the 135 pounder up and slammed him down to the mat over and over and over again.  Then he drags Eli, nearly limp and mostly unable to defend himself, off the mat, wraps his huge hands around his throat, and then hoists Eli up in a pristine, jaw dropping overhead choke.  A lesser man might have straight-armed Eli directly upward (it takes less strength), but fuck that.  Diego holds Eli by nothing but his throat out in front of him a tad so he can watch the kid’s porcelain white face instantly flush dark red.  Diego’s body, posed in this moment of total, unquestionable domination, is simply perfect.  His gorgeous two handfuls of strong, round glutes; his tantalizing mouthful of a package; the sweat making his pecs glisten underneath his light coat of fur; his long, brown locks sticking damply to his temples; his gorgeous biceps bulging with the 135 pound deadweight hanging at his mercy in his fingers… this story is ALL about Diego.  But then, beet red and eyes popping out of their sockets, Eli seems to snap.  He shoves the palms of his hands against the Latino giant’s bulging shoulders, pushing their bodies apart just a few more inches.  Diego still looks on, snarling insults, admiring the total control he has Eli under… until gracefully, Eli pries his right knee against Diego’s upper abs, swings his left foot backward, and finally drives his left knee sharply into the Latino’s long, long, long and lovely abdomen.

Eli snaps!

Words don’t do it justice, so let me just say that this incredible counter made me go back and watch it again and again, my heart racing harder every time.  The athleticism throughout this match is mind boggling, and this particular moment is simply an astounding feat of strength, balance and coordination.  The air comes rushing out of Diego’s lungs and, shocked, he drops Eli to the mat.  Gulping on air, he tries to grab hold of the offense, and the story, again, but no doing.  Hurricane Eli hits, and long, tall Diego’s got nowhere to go but down.  He’s cornered, trapped, and pummeled.

Diego’s long legs miss their mark, but Eli’s don’t!

The story was Diego’s overpowering size and strength.  The story becomes Eli’s lightning quick, laser beam focused kicks.  Our 135 pound MMA champ has had enough of this shit.  He got completely humiliated by Morgan Cruise his first time out of the gate.  His second gut bash outing (the B-side to this DVD) demonstrated Eli’s complete technical superiority in every detail over mohawked muscle stud Joah Bindao, and still it’s Eli’s sweet ass choked out cold on the mat as Joah snarls and mutters incoherently in victory as he strides out of the ring.  Third time isn’t just a charm for Eli, it’s his last straw as he opens up a can of full contact whoop ass on Diego that the Latino stud and everyone else in the world won’t soon forget.

Eli bruises the big man from the inside out!

I’m pretty sure that gorgeous Diego doesn’t take a full breath for the last 15 or so minutes of this match, because there isn’t more than a split second here or there that he doesn’t have one body part or another of Eli’s jabbed into his diaphragm.  Turns out, all those overwhelming muscles don’t work so well when they’re deprived of oxygen!  Eli is an absolute machine, and by machine I’m thinking of the homicidal computer Hal 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey.  He’s focused.  He’s relentless.  His kicks are a blur. His punches sink in deep.  And when Diego is flat on his back, gasping for air and bruised everywhere between his chin and his crotch, 135 pounds of Eli Black trampling his midsection is just big enough to make a big man wail.

Aren’t so big now, are you, Diego?

Yep.  This is Eli Black’s story to tell, mother fuckers!  Keeping the Latino sex kitten flat on his back leaves 5’6″ Eli towering over him, bashing and pummeling.  Knees crash over and over into Diego’s gut.  Eli nearly rips the long stud’s head off at the neck, wrenching Diego’s back apart vertebrae by vertebrae.  Hurricane Eli just stops right over top of his opponent and blasts the Latin American landscape with blow after blow, leaving Diego with nothing to do but hunker down and pray he’s still alive once the storm finally passes.

Eli’s ass wants a recount for Best Butt of 2012!

Now I’d love to get my hands all over Diego’s body, but the meaner Eli gets and the harder his supernaturally lean body works, the more I can’t take my eyes off of him.  That ass!  His zero-bodyfat muscle glutes stretching well beyond the bottom of his baby blue trunks as he squeezes the steel cables of his legs in a nearly successful attempt to snap Diego in half are epic.  I know some fans like their wrestlers bigger, heftier, whatever… and hell if I’m not right with you in crazy lust for the feel of Diego’s mountainous pecs in my hands, for example… but when Eli does what Eli does best, the eroticism of intensely aggressive ring wrestling sprinkled liberally with MMA strikes is homoerotic gold for me.  His maniacally conditioned body is insanely fucking hot!

Eli’s rage has taken him over the edge

Eli breaks the once invincible big man down piece by piece in this relentless and increasingly vicious assault.  Fuck it if anyone at BG East thinks Eli can’t handle himself in a Gut Bash.  The man won Best Abs of 2012, for god’s sake!  Perhaps it’s PTSD flashbacks to the Mastodon dripping sweat onto Eli’s quivering bod.  Or maybe it’s the shame of having roused from his choke out humiliation at the hands of Joah.  Whatever it is that motivates the depths he goes to against Diego (about 5 minutes past the point that he could have secured a half a dozen submissions if he’d bothered), Eli has snapped.  Diego is a limp mess in one of the prettiest trees of woe I’ve seen.  He’s got nothing to defend himself against Eli’s stomps and punches and knees.  He’s done.  Stick a fork in him.  It’s over.  And suddenly Eli dives out of the ring and sprints off camera, returning 10 seconds later with a medicine ball to pound into his opponent’s wide open abs for still further unnecessary brutality.  No amount of destruction seems good enough. No humiliation, no act of glazed-eyed viciousness is sufficient.

This is Eli Black’s world!

Diego’s pleas for mercy fade as it’s obvious Eli can’t hear him through the ringing of rage filling his ears.  Eli dives out of the ring and returns with a dumbbell from the weight rack.  He drags Diego’s gorgeous ass to the middle of the ring and pounds the Latino’s quivering abs with it.  Holy fuck, is Diego getting out of this alive!?!

Turns out, “little” Eli Black is just the right size to make Diego Diaz cry!

Diego’s fans need not worry too much, because he’s still breathing by the time Eli storms out of the ring having pounded away the memories of Gut Bashes past.  Whether or not Diego has the guts, so to speak, to show his face in the BG East ring again, however, I can’t attest.  I hope so.  In my personal dictionary, his picture appears next to the entry, “eye candy.”  But he was no match for a “little kid” 50 pounds lighter, who, once provoked, unleashed a Gut Bash like I’ve never seen before.  I started out thinking that this was Diego’s story to tell, but I was wrong.  It was Eli’s turn to strike back, and for the athleticism, the power, the intensity, and the physical perfection of a body whittled down to knowing but it’s singular purpose (ass-kicking), Eli Black is, yet again, my homoerotic wrestler of the month.

3-time homoerotic wrestler of the month: Eli Black

Picking Up the Remote Again

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I know that there are probably no more than a half dozen or so of you that share my particular homoerotic wrestling infatuation with the fantasy of wrestling newsboys.  I’m pretty okay with that, actually.  I’d like to think of myself as someone who marches to my own drummer, at least from time to time.  So I’m pulling out the snare drum and pounding one out regardless of who cares, because late breaking news today is making me think long and hard on not only my active wrestling imagination, but also my real life morning routine.

Recurring star of many of my homoerotic wrestling fantasies: CNN’s (!) Chris Cuomo

Chris Cuomo, long-time infatuation of mine, has just been announced as a new hire at CNN to host/co-host a morning news program.  You probably didn’t hear them, but a choir of angels just belted out a C-major across three octaves at the end of that last sentence.

Chris has been getting his big muscles nice and wet as a triathlete lately

I was emotionally crushed and thrown into a spiral of existential angst when ABC passed over promoting Chris from the newsreader chair to the anchor spot, choosing instead the hot little piece of baklava George Stephanopoulos while simultaneously booting Chris into 20/20 purgatory.  Although I find Josh Elliott surprisingly adorable in the newsreader spot on GMA, I simply haven’t felt the rousing hit of lust mixed with my morning news since Chris and his HUGE hands left the scene (seriously, have you seen his hands!?).

Sam Champion is thinking, “Holy fuck, his cock is 2 inches behind my head!”

I hear he’s been serving his time at 20/20 just fine, though I’ve never bothered to track down exactly when 20/20 airs to see for myself.  His occasional reappearance on GMA to do some gratuitous tease and plug (sounds fun, actually) of one of his more attention-getting investigative pieces for 20/20 always left me with a reminder of his hotness mixed in with the lingering sense of loss.

Chris points out the secret to his sexy success (hint, it’s not the fish)

Obviously, I’m not the only one who’s caught on to the ridiculously hot Italian muscle bod hiding underneath that big ‘n’ tall wardrobe of his, considering he’s been writing occasional columns for Men’s Health and continuing to permit himself to be photographed pumping his worship-ready muscles.  He’s also disclosed that as part of his triathlon training he’s wearing banana hammocks and skin tight (aka “aerodynamic”) gear.  Baby!

Look at the pecs barely squeezed into that Men’s Health t-shirt!!!

So, yeah, I’m there, CNN.  You say you’re still deciding who he may co-host with?  You don’t know what will happen to Solidad O’Brien?  Blah, blah, blah.  You had me at “Cuomo.”  This will, undoubtedly, push a new News Division homoerotic wrestling fantasy match up my to-do list, now (with the enticing addition at GMA of an additional gorgeous correspondent, Gio Benitez, to join the likes of insanely fuckable Matt Gutman).  And I’m desperately hoping that I can get back to the good old days of settling down in front of the television early in the morning with my cup of tea in one hand and my mounting excitement in the other as Chris Cuomo turns me on and at least occasionally finds a reason to have to go shirtless.

I’m announcing the official open to shirtless fishing season for Chris Cuomo!

Still-Frame Fantasies

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I remember the first time I came across (so to speak) sites like Can-Am and BG East online.  My heart pounded in my chest.  This is exactly my thing, I thought!  Holy fuck on a cracker, the images of hot athletes in minuscule gear captured in still-frame in provocative, evocative moments in wrestling sent off explosions in my head (and pants, sure).  I emotionally wrestled for a while with my own closet before I ordered my first homoerotic wrestling videos.  But that period after I first glimpsed homoerotic wrestling in still-frame online and before I had a video popped in the VCR to watch the action in motion was, in and of itself, a pristinely beautiful thing.  The fantasies that those pics inspired could have fueled a small city with the combustion that they set off inside of me.  Everything that came before and everything that came after the shutter going click to capture a given still-frame was alive with possibility that my virile imagination was thrilled to muse over.  One homoerotic wrestling producer (not KL) once chided me gently for my infatuation with photos, since homoerotic wrestling is, by definition, a kinetic thing best (essentially?) defined in motion.  But my homoerotic wrestling kink has always included a deep passion for the fantasies that a particular wrestling still-frame can ignite within me that, occasionally, exceeds the reality once I get my eyes on the video.  With that in mind, I have a whole new batch of still frame fantasies ignited in response to the preview pics of BG East’s latest catalog release, Catalog 97.  So many fantasies, so much erotic energy generated!  And I’m a major fan of BG East’s commitment to document their products with both a videographer and photographer present.  The boys with their eyes in the viewfinders of the cameras deserve major credit in my book, because these images are stunningly gorgeous!

I’ve been waiting to see this hairy beast that friend of this blog, Ben Monaco, discovered on camera, and Mat Scraps 2 finally introduces the world to pouty-lipped muscle beast, Alain LeClair.  He’s 6 foot tall, 187 pounds, and with those telephone poles wrapped around Ben’s abdomen, he’s blowing my mind!  There are more climax-worthy still frames in Ben and Alain’s match, including what looks like intense forced muscle worship, but this pic in particular, with Alain grinning as he watches Ben’s face twisted in agony, is incredibly hot!

The coverboy for Catlog 97 is the stud on the right in this shot, Arn Nedic, who goes gorgeous-muscle-to-gorgeous-muscle with insanely baby face muscleboy, Connor Cross in Motel Madness 12.  I’m imagining that there will be an instant fan base lining up right behind Connor’s incredible muscle ass wrapped so unbelievably tightly in those baby blue trunks.  However, there’s something dizzying about the shots of Arn that are already haunting my dreams (waking and sleeping).  Holy fuck, look at those shoulders!  His pecs alone are sending my erotic fantasies into overdrive.  I don’t think I’ve ever harbored an intense erotic fascination for a Serbian go-go boy before, but I’ve got one now. Bad.

Just saying “Alexi Adamov versus Aryx Quinn” is enough to get me hard, but damn!  The preview pics of this clash of titans in Ring Revenge 1 are wildly sexy.  Is it possible that Alexi is still growing taller?  Because he seems to dwarf his opponents more and more, despite facing the hot, smooth muscle bod belonging to someone like Aryx.  Alexi captured, strapped to a ring post, and about to get those picture PERFECT abs pounded is like an image out of Greek mythology, and, of course, my erotic fantasies.

Drake Marcos has been incredibly delightful to get to know since his debut just a couple of months ago.   He has the looks and the personality that instantly attract me.  That Cheshire Cat smile and obvious enthusiasm for high stakes, profuse sweat, unrefereed erotic wrestling are profoundly compelling.  But I have to admit, I sort of overlooked Ray Naylor when he debuted earlier in the autumn, my attention drawn more to the magic of his first opponent, Cameron Mathews.  But this particular preview pic from Drake and Ray’s match in Mat Scraps 2 keeps me coming back to admire Ray’s beautifully sweaty back and that incredibly hot ass, positioned so perfectly with Drake’s face trapped in that luscious figure-4 headlock.  Talk about cheek-to-cheek!  What an image!

Again, there are a dozen evocative images from Eli Black and Diego Diaz’ ab-destroying ring match in Gut Bash 10: Eli Strikes Back.  The size differential between these two men is amazing, and the side-by-sides that illustrate Diego’s beautifully musclebody towering over painfully lean “little” Eli tell an incredibly hot story.  But there’s something about this pic of Diego’s gorgeous, hairy pecs stretched out, his glute flexed, his massive white boots on those incredibly long legs tucked up underneath Eli’s chin, and the pain contorting Diego’s handsome face into a mask of agony that’s got me hooked.

Again, there are a dozen pics of Denny Cartier’s Ring Revenge 1 match with beach buddy rookie Kai Sotelo, but I’m so enthralled with 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month Denny Cartier that I can’t take my eyes off of this solo image of him.  There are arguably “prettier” wrestlers.  There are unarguably bigger wrestlers.  But there’s just something about Denny that continues to stroke me hard.  The fuck-me brown eyes in this shot are daring me to dive into the ring with him, I swear.  And that dimpled chin of his was obviously stolen straight off of a 1950’s big screen leading man.  I long to see Denny take a major league heel turn, but then again I also long to see someone not only best Denny, but give him a severe tongue lashing in defeat (with some lingering sucking saved for that chin and those nipples).  So far, this is not the direction Denny’s wrestling has taken him with BG East, but pics like these have me helplessly writing that plot in my own mind.

Speaking of helpless!  This image from Kid Vicious taking ownership of Len Harder in Ball Bash 3 is sculpture that deserves to be in an art museum.  Every inch of this, every angle, everything is so fucking gorgeous!!!  From the self-satisfied sneer on KV’s handsome face to the exquisite, gasping agony on Len, there’s a whole story (or 30) summed up in this one shot.  The total mastery, Len’s semi-erect cock dangling vulnerably, the defensive-yet-amorous way the Len clutches KV’s neck with his right hand… I’m as captured by this photo as Len is completely captured by KV!

Lon Dumont’s physique is always profoundly pleasing to me, of course, but the shots of him from his Hair Stakes 1 (of many more, please!?)  match with Ethan Andrews are pure fantasy gold.  I remember in Lon’s Gut Bash battle against massively bigger Joe Robbins that Lon was not about to concede that big Joe’s body was better conditioned than petite Lon’s bodybuilder bod… except for the legs.  Lon apparently has some insecurities about his legs, and side by side with the sequoias that Joe calls his thighs, Lon was giving all the credit to the big man beneath the belt.  That was last bodybuilding season.  A year or so later, Lon’s back and putting his hair on the line against recent addition to the BG East fold, Ethan, and clearly, Lon’s been blasting his legs like a madman.  Hair pulling is, in and of itself, a major turn on for me (when done right), so this match is automatically high on my list.  But this pic in particular, with Lon hanging so vulnerably in a tree of woe as Ethan steps on his long locks, sends me right over the edge.  The drama, the beauty, and those pink trunks squeezed onto Lon’s smooth, lickable body is picture perfect!

Tyrell Tomsen and Jonny Firestorm have both, independently grabbed my attention often, including on the pages of this blog.  Jonny’s photo expose on his stunning forearms was one my favorite Christmas gifts this year, and Tyrell has been a vision of physical perfection in the ring making me swoon.  The pairing of these two is an intoxicating idea for Ring Revenge 1, and this image of Jonny hanging, body tensed and suffering as sweat drips off him, in Tyrell’s lovely bearhug is fantastic.  This is another example of the visually stunning proportions of two bodies sized entirely differently. Jonny’s track record as a serious badass award winning heel, paired with the screaming agony on his face as he suffers helplessly in Tyrell’s arms, sends my homoerotic wrestling fantasies into overdrive!

Ty Garrison has been making me cum for years now, appearing in BG East UK releases for a long time.  Like Denny Cartier, Ty gives me such a powerful hit of a “real” bloke, a guy who quickly rips to shreds any awkward pretense of a wrestling scenario on camera to get down to a seriously competitive and fiercely focused wrestler.  This Motel Madness 12 pic of Ty’s face smothered against the crotch of a another “Denny,” that is, this stunningly pretty refugee from some French boyband, Deni Dupuis, does all sorts of things to my wrestling kink.  Tighty whities, Brit footie fan vs. French beauty, lovely rookie vs. thoroughbred veteran… this works me into a lather in an instant.

My final still frame fantasy from BG East’s new release of Catalog 97 is this incredible shot of hairy heel Morgan Cruise flexing in victory with muscle hunk Marc Merino’s head locked up tight between Morgan thighs as the big, gorgeous, naked jobber tops himself off in obedient submission.  Again, the contrasting bodies, the stark naked beauty, the narrative written across Morgan’s gloating face and the completely dominated position of Marc… damn, this is a stunningly hot image.  I know that Muscle Destruction 1 is a 1:1 battle, but this shot inflames my desperate imagination longing for a full contact tag team story.  Just picture this view as belonging to Marc’s tag team partner, watching from the corner helplessly as his big, powerful muscle stud of a partner is so completely humiliated and destroyed.  Or, better yet, picture this perspective as belonging to Morgan’s tag team partner, having subdued whoever Marc’s chump of a tag partner is, and leaving Morgan’s wingman to slowly stroll up, kneel down between Marc’s gorgeous thighs, and force those bronze knees apart.

There are more beautiful, tempting sensations to be sampled in Catalog 97, but these particular images captured my imagination hard, igniting countless fantasies of what could lay behind and ahead of these moments in time.  I’m looking forward to getting my eyes on the matches themselves, no doubt.  I’m a wide-eyed fanatic for trash talk, and did I mention that Lon Dumont and Ethan Andrews face one another in the ring in Hair Stakes!?  But for the moment, the particular titillation of these still-frame fantasies take me back to those first moments of discovering the online world of homoerotic wrestling and knowing that whatever the reality of the matches themselves, these images are beautiful proof that this kink I love is something I share with a whole lot of others.

Fuck Concessions

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I love how technology and blogs have been increasingly bringing fans of homoerotic wrestling into closer proximity with homoerotic wrestlers.  The first time I read one of Joe’s interviews with a wrestler, I was thrilled and inspired.  I’m sure there are clock punchers in the business, but the revelation that some of our favorite wrestlers-for-gay-eyes enjoy the attention and appreciate the celebrity they possess within our circle of interest somehow sweetens the pot of the homoerotic wrestling industry.  I think of the interviews I’ve had the opportunity to conduct as highlights of the labor of love that I invest in this blog.  They’ve brought a welcome sense of humor and humanity to the fantasies I treasure of homoerotic wrestling, and, unexpectedly, they’ve made me a fierce advocate for fans treating wrestlers with common decency and plenty of respect.

Rio Garza – BG East’s Best Body of 2012
So when BG East’s Best of 2012 poll came out, and even more when I thought about the results as they were announced, it made me wonder what the objects of our popularity polls think of being ranked, ordered, and lauded or looked over.  From the consumer side of homoerotic wrestling, I found the poll to be a very fun exercise in examining my own tastes in comparison with more than 500 or so other fans.  But from the wrestler side of things, I had to wonder what the boys themselves thought of the exercise. Any gloating?  Any hurt feelings?

Lon Dumont – Nominated for Top Heel, Best Body, Best Abs, Best Butt… but came out with a trophy
Hell YES!  Lon Dumont sent me a text demanding a recount.  I don’t know if a recount would help, but I’m entirely with him on finding the results unsatisfying when it comes to recognizing what an insanely hot wrestler he is!  My hope is that, as he enters a new bodybuilding season in a few weeks, he’ll take this defeat at the BG East polls and turn it into gold on stage, and then bring in his bodybuilding trophies and shove them, and his bulging biceps, in the face of his next opponent.

Cameron Matthews asks you to just look at this photo and explain his absence from the nominees for best abs and best body

One of Lon’s buddies, Cameron Matthews, also was not pleased, despite anchoring Babyface Brawls 2, winner of best ring match.  Cameron made one of the most compelling arguments against his exclusion from the categories of best abs and best body by simply posting to his blog this fucking gorgeous photo of himself from his recent wrestling trip to the UK, in which his unbelievably hot six-pack was doused in oil and on awesome display.  Under the title “Best of 2012 Complaints,” Cam reviews the slights and mistake of the pollsters themselves.  “Didn’t even make it into the finalist of Best Body 2012.  3rd Place as Top Babyface.  Not ranked amongst Best Abs.”  Even his razor thin loss to Kid Karisma in the Best Butt category merely inflamed Cameron’s outrage, prompting him to demand a recount.  Personally, I think it’s a stroke of pure genius that Cameron has apparently been inspired by this miscarriage of justice to commit himself to earning the title of Best Heel of 2013.  I’m wholeheartedly ready for him to earn my vote!

Eli Black won nearly everything he was nominated for… and still he’s pissed!
Even the overwhelming winners at the polls seem a little irked at some of the subtleties of the voting and commentary.  I received this extensive text rant from Eli Black early yesterday morning, I’m sure at least in part in response to my gentle critique that Lon’s abs might merit more credit than Eli’s:

Trying to provoke Eli?!!!!! My abs are the very best abs in the wrestling seen these days!!!! 100% American Muscle!!!!! The votes were rigged!!!!! I won them all! I am the face wherever I go, hence why I am Mr. Primus, and I shutdown any compotition around me!!! Austin Cooper?!!! Kid Karisma?!!! For get about it! Eli Black all the way! I’m the champ, and no one’s dethroning me. End of story. My abs are chiseled by God himself!!!!! Picture perfect! No one else could even hold my jock strap!!!!! You people like to forget this is Eli Black’s world – y’all just live in it!

Hard to argue with, isn’t it?  The mountain of exclamation points alone sort of beat you into submission similarly to the vicious beatings that Eli’s been pounding into the bodies of his opponents as of late.  And seriously, what’s to argue with?  Coop fans may want to quibble with the implication that Austin’s Wrestler Spotlight shouldn’t have garnered more votes than Eli’s.  And I’m first in line to raise a skeptical eyebrow at Eli’s suggestion that his truly astonishingly gorgeous ass is definitively superior to the world class glutes that belong to Best Butt winner Kid Karisma.  But Eli has a way about him of being so… persuasive.  And I’d give my left testicle for a chance to see Kid K and Eli go ass-on-ass in the ring until one of them is, literally, submissively holding the winner’s sweat soaked jock strap.  But scoring wins as Best Debut of 2012, Best Abs, and starring in the Best Mat Battle of the year, it’s hard to miss the ring of stark truth in Eli’s words: It’s Eli’s world, people.  We just live in it!

A nod to the fans: Cameron Matthews is one of the many homoerotic wrestlers who appreciates being appreciated

Honestly, even with Eli’s full court press of a rebuttal to the poll results and my needling, every wrestler I’ve heard from has clearly taken the year end poll as a good bit of fun that they’re happy to be part of.  And I love that about this community!  Mix in homoeroticism, fanatical lust, larger than life personalities, drop dead gorgeous bodies, and a healthy dose of humor, and 2012 goes down in my book as a banner year for BG East and the entire homoerotic wrestling industry.