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“Or he fucks you!”

January 15, 2015 wrestlebard7 Comments

“So you come in here all tough and shit and you think you can take on me. Do you even know who I am!?”

Cal Bennet looks on dumbly, professing not to know. Let me explain things to you Cal. This is Damien Rush. This is the muscle stud I’ve been aching to interview for years. This is the hardcore pretty boy who I’ve been begging his producers to send me a pair of his trunks. Daddy’s little rich boy with a personal trainer, a high paid NHB wrestling coach, and a live in masseur (baby where do I apply for that job!?).

damien2 — Damien is meatier and sexier than ever!

Muscle Domination Wrestling released their newest season today, and the first release that catches my attention is Damien Rush facing suddenly-everywhere Cal Bennet. Six Pack Bash 6 promises that this is Damien Rush like we’ve never seen him. No longer a naive daddy’s-little-rich-boy. Meaner. Meatier. Hungrier.

damien12 — Damien is here to grind some muscle.

“I”m going to grind you up so fucking hard you’re going to be crying,” Damien snarls at delicately featured Cal. “You’re going to be begging me to stop, and you know what? I fucking won’t.” I like Damien’s energy a lot here. He’s on offense and offensive. The running metaphor is that Cal is fresh meat and Damien is here to grind him up.

damien8 — The thong and that body make up, somewhat, for some undersell from Cal.

It seems like it’s probably a good thing that Damien is in charge and pacing this battle, because Cal looks like he’s in a little over his head. Of course he’s in over his head against a veteran like Damien, but I mean sell-wise. Cal doesn’t sell SPB6 like anything other than a hot boy with a beautiful body and a dearth of wrestling experience. As promised in the match description, however, Damien is mature, intimidating, dominating, and sugary sweet Cal can melt all he wants because Damien’s packing the heat.

damien10 — I know what I like about this position!

“Do you know what I love about this position?” Damien asks, stretching Cal’s luscious torso out in a back-breaking standing Dragon Sleeper. “You’re so open and vulnerable for me to take full, fucking, advantage!” Taking advantage sort of sums it up, really. Cal is flat footed. He stumbles over a few ham-handed attempts at banter. He struggles to look entirely like he’s struggling, but damn it all if Damien doesn’t pick up the slack and at least in a few places actually make the pretty boy hurt. When Damien slams his back down across his knee, the grunt and explosive exhalation from Cal suggests that he, indeed, got the wind knocked out of him. And it hurt. The more he struggles to sell, the more I’m getting into those moments when I think Damien actually makes him hurt. Fuck yeah, make the pretty boy hurt, Damien!

damien4 — There’s a moment when spine impacts with knee that actually hurts, thank goodness.

I’ve marveled at Cal’s body before, and instantly been assailed by several fans complaining about his artwork. Too much. Distracting. Whatever. I’ve seen shitty ink, and although I don’t think Cal’s is anywhere near the hottest, it’s fine with me. As I mentioned to one critique of Cal’s tats, I’d be more than happy to smother him in honey from top to bottom and lick him clean. In his case, the ink is neither here nor there for me.

Again as billed, Damien, on the other hand, is bigger, hairier, and… heelier than I’ve ever seen him before. His physique is bulkier than in the past, and he’s definitely not nearly as cut and polished as his saccharine sweet fitness boy opponent. But I’m turned on about 15% more by Damien’s new, rawer look. After licking the honey off of Cal, I’d like a second course of Damien covered in chocolate sauce.

The match is a little plodding, I won’t lie. Damien has to do all the heavy lifting, so I appreciate that he paces himself, and happily he milks every hold. One of the first MDW matches I’ve seen in a long time not filmed in the ring, SPB6 is set in a garage, on wrestling mats, and the camera work is intimate and up close as a result. I’m accustomed to looking up from someone’s shoulder mount ringside, so it’s nice to get to see more, and closer in this setting. The cameraman loves cock, so kudos to you buddy, whoever you are. He keeps one wrestler or another’s cock center-frame about 60% of the match, which when you think about the twists and turns and scrambles of even a deliberate and one-sided mauling like this, is pretty damn impressive. Another 20% of the time, it’s one hunk or another’s ass center-frame, so again, way to go camera guy. The final 20% is a little rough, probably a few too many attempts at close ups, lying on the mat next to the boys mid-hold, trying to hover directly overhead, zooming in, pulling out. A little nauseating at times? Sure. Intimate? Raw? Absolutely.

Damien crushes Cal, and for those half a dozen moments when Cal actually looks like he’s genuinely getting torqued and tweaked into legitimate pain, I’m sold. The rest of the time, I’m just thanking my lucky stars Cal is so damn pretty and Damien is so fucking hot, hairy, and beefy and making me feel deep down what a prick-richboy heel he’s got inside. Sadly, Damien’s promise to make Cal cry is not realized. And I am fucking disappointed in that.

damien7 — “Damien Rush is not the type of man to fuck with, or…”

“Damien Rush is not the type of man you fuck with,” Damien announces, flexing so, so finely over a choked out Cal, “or he fucks you!” I need to consult Joe about the grammar here. I think there’s a discourse analysis called for, but if Damien is saying what I think he’s saying, then let me officially announce that I’m ready to fuck with him. Whatever happens by the time we diagram his sentence, I’m going to be happy!

Welkom!

January 14, 2015January 14, 2015 wrestlebard2 Comments

I really enjoy newbies. In addition to the extra sexiness of untested waters, of anticipating who they will reveal themselves to be when unleashed on the mat, I also just enjoy the taste of fresh meat. I also enjoy deep, sexy accents, and I’ll never say no to a tall, ripped, blond hunk of a man with a mammoth, monster, more than a mouthful of a phenomenal cock. So it should come as little wonder that I’m deeply moved by the debut of stunning, 6’3″ Ivan “the Terrible” Gregory fresh off the plane from South Africa.

Ivan’s veteran opponent in blue is 6’2″ Jessie “Cut-Throat” Colter, who I’ve mused on before as backdrop to other fantasy men who have captured my imagination. It’s not as if Jessie is chopped liver. His body is delightful and his enthusiasm on the NK mat is thrilling. I’d climb him like a jungle gym and claw those pecs for days, but Jessie gets the lucky distinction of doing battle with simply stunning, fantasy pornboys that I have trouble tearing my eyes away from. Case in point: Ivan.

ivan2 — I think Ivan is getting the hang of this.

Ivan swears he as absolutely zero wrestling experience in his pre-match testimonial, which makes Jessie smirk in the background. A perfectly proportioned muscle god with no idea how to engage in kombat? You can just about see Jessie’s beautiful cock squirming excitedly inside his tight trunks as these two face off. So imagine Jessie’s surprise when big, beautiful Ivan doesn’t just hold his own, he grabs Jessie’s as well and wrings the veteran’s cock relentlessly. The South African’s technique isn’t refined, but with all that muscle, he consistently puts his opponent on his back in round 1. You can see him having to think through, move by move, how to accumulate NK points, which is a step beyond simply dominating an opponent with wrestling offense. But stud puppy demonstrates some innate talent, forcing Cut Throat off balance and smothering the veteran with his bulging package. When Jessie turns his back to swat a stripped pair of trunks off the mat, Ivan launches his massive muscles on top of him from behind. Body and brains? This beauty needs a wrestling ring and a few lessons from a pro heel, and he’d be unstoppable!

ivan5 — And the real star of this match: Ivan’s monster cock!

I swear to the wrestling gods I hear a choir of angels break out into 8-part harmony when Jessie manages to rip the red trunks off of newbie Ivan. The thick, massive, monstrous cock that’s unleashed makes my jaw drop. Some big, tall muscle hunks with absolutely impressive members nevertheless look somehow undersized due to their oversized everything else. However, 195 pound, 6’3″ Ivan’s phallus is, if anything, disproportionately huge on his gladiator body. Even more epic of reveal, as the tussle continues with his monster unchained, the South African phenom gets hard, fast.

ivan3 — Ivan challenges Jessie to come and get it!

No shit, the ripped blond newbie porn god from South Africa is tied with the saucy, seasoned veteran to finish round 1. In the post-match review, Ivan mentions that he was a little surprised and very enthused by to learn that he kept points even after his blistering first round on the NK mats. That smirk on Jessie’s face is decidedly vanished as he sucks down air, posing like a statue for the camera to study his every inch between rounds as NK does. Bulldozing a pretty boy looks like it’s simply not in the cards for Cut Throat, so he’d better pull out some NK savvy in order to avoid a deeply humiliating (though you have to figure very exciting Sex Round) finish.

ivan4 — The newbie uses those long, strong limbs to lock down Jessie and make the veteran squeal.

There’s an awesome moment at the very end of round one where Jessie has the newbie hunk in a cradle, using his free hand to score points by poking the rookie hole (one of the finer subtleties of NK competition). Ivan writhes and groans in frustration. Suddenly, he roars, pops free and absolutely bench presses big Jessie off of him, tossing him halfway across the mat. Holy shit. However, round 2 sees big Ivan start to seriously get winded, and Jessie starts to really batter him hard. The physical and sexual domination is matched beautifully with verbal domination as the veteran unleashes a stream of trash talk, prophesying the newbie’s downfall and promising a wad blowing sex round victory for the veteran. Even as the big South African grows weaker and less able to defend himself, his mammoth cock swells harder and, unbelievably, bigger as the kombat unfolds.

ivan7 — Judging by that ever ready monster cock, Ivan isn’t too disappointed to have to pay the price for his first Naked Kombat loss.

There’s a sweet intensity in this match that’s punctuated periodically by Ivan giggling, mostly in a self-deprecating way, marveling at how Jessie is slowly but surely taking possession of him. By the end of round 2, Jessie opens up a 9-point lead. By the end of round 3, Ivan can barely drag his gorgeous body off his hands and knees to return to the neutral position to learn his fate. Ominously, Jessie reaches over and spanks the newbie’s awesome ass to encourage him to face the music. The 3rd round points were even, but it was that devastating round 2 that result in Ivan’s debut loss by 9 points to Jessie.

ivan8 — Ivan wants more! Jessie looks like he does, as well.

Fantastic debut from a truly stunningly gorgeous newbie with a thick, marble-mouthed accent. I hope he gets his wish to make a sophomore appearance with NK and let us see the look of horror on some losing opponent’s face when he realizes that monster cock is headed his way. I hope I get my wish to see this handsome superhero make an appearance in a pro wrestling ring sometime!

Just Wrestle

January 9, 2015 wrestlebard2 Comments

This will surprise no one, but I begin today’s post with the premise that I like male bodies. A lot. I like them in a variety of incarnations, proportions, hues, and composition. There are certainly specific male bodies that I don’t like, but the collection of bodies that fall into the “like” category are varied.

Early in my exploration of the homoerotic wrestling universe (that sort of makes me feel like Captain Kirk), I found the Greenwood/Cooper produced video “Wrestle” in my enlightened “home video store” (wow, now I’m feeling old). I felt rather daring picking it up off the shelf and paying to rent the provocative VHS based on the promotional jacket.

The product description on the back reads, “Competition wrestlers, pitted against each other in combat, strain their tight, sinewy, well-muscled bodies and their indomitable wills to bring you an experience of unequaled beauty and force.” Uh, yeah. This was at a time when I was a lot more cautious about outing myself, but there was no way I wasn’t going to slap down $3 to study this work of art for every second of the 3 day rental. I’m pretty sure I skipped at least a couple of my graduate school classes to get every penny’s worth out of “Wrestle.” It was soft core, set in and beside Roman baths. The wrestlers were young and gorgeous. As I remember, the wrestling pairs started in posing straps or towels wrapped around their waists, but most of the action was entirely naked, presenting for anyone who appreciates the male body 6 spectacular specimens entirely unadorned and videographed in intimate, up close detail. The combat was highly stylized, severely restricted by tile mosaic floors. It came across to me like perfectly pitched performance art, presenting my deepest fantasies in fantastical and inciting beauty.

I strongly suspect that were I to set down with “Wrestle” again, I wouldn’t be nearly as awed as I was in those early days. My homoerotic wrestling library needs a new wing built onto my home these days, and the novelty that made me dizzy in soaking in “Wrestle” many years ago just isn’t as compelling for me today, in and of itself. Then I again, whether or not it’s the nostalgia talking, I think I may try to track it down again, if for no other reason than sometimes what I really, really want to watch is two beautiful, powerful, entirely naked male bodies locked in combat. And surprisingly, considering the size of my library, it isn’t always easy to find.

nklandon — Landon Conrad wrestles naked with Alex Adams at Naked Kombat.

I think Naked Kombat comes closest to stoking that nostalgia I feel as I think about my experience of discovering “Wrestle.” When the NK pornboys finally rip each other’s gear off and go to town entirely naked, there’s a depth of intimacy and vulnerability that makes the physical combat that much more captivating as a spectator. Naked Kombat is hardcore, however, and the artistry and beauty so appropriately named in the product description of “Wrestle” take a back seat (or perhaps just tenuously being towed along in a trailer far behind) to the sex and fury. Not that I don’t get off on NK sex and fury frequently. But NK is a different breed than “Wrestle.”

Z-Man and Jake Jenkins are homoerotic wrestling art.

Some homoerotic wrestling producers manage to capture the “beauty and force” that “Wrestle” managed, but steer clear of the daring genre of pitting their wrestlers against one another naked. Rock Hard Wrestling, Movimus, and Thunder’s Arena come to mind, playing on the relative innocence and innuendo of old school soft core like “Wrestle.” Thunder’s is playful and specializes in beautiful muscle, but their playfulness and tongue-in-cheek score low on the earnestness meter. RHW’s commitment to video production quality makes me think more of the earnestness of the camera angles in “Wrestle.” Both “Wrestle” director Kurthy and the production crew at RHW clearly have a commitment to artistically document the living sculpture that is beautiful male bodies grappling. But a full 20 years after “Wrestle” was produced, RHW does so with a more demure tack, letting the homoeroticism be conveyed primarily by the viewing eyes, and not stepping into the hetero-iconoclastic territory of full-on naked bodies.

rusty — Brian Bodine and Rusty Stevens briefly grapple naked in their full-throttle Arena match to see who gets fucked.

Can-Am and BG East both feature naked wrestlers, and again, both get my engine running hot. However, neither of the big boys in the business tweak that nostalgia (or stroke the still valid sweet spot) that “Wrestle” did. Like NK, Can-Am tends to cast pornboys, and the naked chapter of the combat is too often all too briefly sandwiched between geared wrestling and the post-match fucking. Some of Can-Am’s Arena series featured the wrestlers in naked falls, but even as satisfying as it is, for example, watching Rusty Stevens and Aryx Quinn crushing one another nude, the surprisingly brief moment between combat and full throttle sexual content is simply a different animal than the hour or so of pure and simple naked wrestling in “Wrestle.”

trey — Gear Wars 4 briefly turns naked wrestling for Skip Vance and Trey Dixon.

BG East is always right in my wheelhouse for their earnestness, but theirs is an earnestness about the integrity of wrestling itself. “Wrestle” advertises as “competition wrestler pitted against each other in combat,” but BG East much more legitimately owns the current scene with regard to experienced, accomplished, enthusiastic wrestlers in their matches than just about anyone else producing (Cameron Matthews is making a strong play for that market lately, however). But I’m hard pressed to think of a BG East match that simply lets two “well-muscled bodies” wrestle naked for very long. In the new release, Gear Fetish 4, Skip Vance and Trey Dixon (current homoerotic wrestler of the month for this match) slowly trade for skimpier and skimpier gear until the last fall is fully naked. But that last fall lasts, what, 45 seconds? Not that I can blame the boys for being clearly driven to distraction by the full throttle fetish arousal they’d worked up to a lather by that point, but it’s not a “naked wrestling” product, in the sense I’m musing on today.

oilhunks4 — MDW is teasing naked bodybuilder wrestling in upcoming Oil Hunks 4, featuring full monty Specimen and Mutant.

Nakedness does appear more frequently at Muscle Domination Wrestling lately, and there’s a particularly enticing teaser of Thunder’s Arena bodybuilder alums Mutant and Specimen appearing to be about to wrestle entirely naked in the ring in their upcoming season. MDW’s commitment to the narrative, though, along with a lower production quality than most of the producers today, makes me think that as surely as I will be pulling up a table to feast on naked bodybuilders grappling in Oil Hunks 4, it won’t quite tweak the “experience of unequaled beauty and force” that “Wrestle” did for me.

The more I muse, the more I think that I’m caught by nostalgia. It may have been less about Greenwood/Cooper’s “Wrestle” itself, or the 6 hot hunks who starred in it, or the setting or camera angles or lighting, than it was about me, 20 years ago, in a different time and place, with a different perspective, exploring something new and titillating and dangerous and novel. I’ll definitely have to find me a copy of “Wrestle” to sort this out. Then again, if I saw this DVD cover in a store today, I’d snap it up for 20 times the price I rented it 20 years ago.

Flash and Sparkle

January 8, 2015 wrestlebard2 Comments

The first couple of times I saw Flash LaCash I struggled to decide what I thought of him. Fantastic body, of course. Handsome, sure. The porn stash? Just retro enough to be value added for me, I think. But I have to admit that I just couldn’t get off the fence. I think it was, in part, the name. I don’t think it suits him. There’s something frivolous and ostentatious about it that strikes a dissonant chord with who you see climb into the ring. Well, in Demolition 18, Flash picked me up off the fence and shot-put me about half a city block firmly on the side of being entirely turned on and a serious fan.

His opponent is of course the recurring infatuation of mine, lovely, lithe, limber Jake Jenkins. Jake tends to bulldoze opponents everywhere except for the ring. All of that amateur wrestling and MMA background appears to amount to a pile of shit once the acrobatic babyface steps foot on the ring apron. And we know his gorgeous ass is grass the second we set eyes on the doomed American flag trunks he’s wearing in Demo 18. Again. After his heroic tag team efforts in Tag Team Torture 15 with Austin Cooper ended in such devastatingly brutal, humiliating, soul-crushing failure, you’d think the über-patriotic briefs should have been retired, at least by JJ. Has ANYONE ever one a wrestling match in those trunks? Honestly, it’s like taping a “Hit Me” sign to the back of some Freshman dork, only this sign reads “Beat my ass, crush my body, and don’t stop until I’m writhing in a pool of my own sweat and tears.”

flash2 — Writhing in a pool of his own sweat and tears…

This is a Demolition match, so it shouldn’t be too disillusioning to reveal that JJ continues his long tradition of getting the shit beat out of him all over the BG East ring. And I always love his sell. He must have some acrobatic background, because he bends and twists like few wrestlers can manage, and when he really works up a head of agony, his screams and whimpers make my sternum tickle.

flash3 — Flash threatens to pop Jake’s head off

So chalk up yet another confirmation that JJ can make me weak at the knees on the receiving end. The real story for me here is the revelation that Flash can own my lustful attention as completely as he possesses Jake’s tortured body. There’s something intensely erotic to me to see a wrestler with pro experience calmly and systematically carve up a mouthwatering opponent like Thanksgiving turkey. The pace is primarily high impact brutality punctuating Flash’s slow, slightly smirking savoring of JJ’s anguish. Less sell from Jake and this would be plodding, but the combo here is spot on demolition perfection.

flash5 — The bitter edge between bending and breaking.

Flash controls every inch of Jake’s writhing body, and I can’t decide who’s ass is hotter (now that’s a problem to have!). When Flash works up a thick, shiny sweat across his tanned torso, his glistening, suction packed blue trunks give the appearance of this muscleman having just stepped out of a shower with his gear on.

Part of my well-documented infatuation with accomplished pro wrestlers in homoerotic wrestling is the obvious, intimate understanding they possess concerning the tolerances of the human body. Flash knows exactly how to position himself and his opponent for maximum leverage, for bearing down on a particular joint, for wringing out anguish by bending limbs to the quivering edge of breaking. He doesn’t just know what hurts a man, he knows what drives a man to the edge of panicked certainty that he’s about to snapped in half. A seasoned pro in the homoerotic wrestling universe is like a professional concert cellist, stroking out a masterpiece where a fashion model or exotic dancer might merely manage to squeak out a melody.

flash7 — This is what happens when the strong man and the trapeze artist duke it out.

And in their Demolition 18 encounter, Flash and Jake convey a sense of fantasy-driven circus performers, defying disbelief and demonstrating what mere mortals best not ever try at home. When I say circus performers, of course I’m not talking clowns. No, JJ’s barefoot toe point and gracefully tortured stretches are that of a babyface trapeze prodigy, meant to be worshipped in mid-air, make our hearts pound in horrific anticipation of his heroic body crashing to the ground. And Flash, the mustachioed hunk could be nothing other than the supremely confident, cocky, hardbodied strong man performing feats of sheer brawn that demonstrate his powerful physique totally undersells the superhuman strength residing in those muscles.

Like I said, I knew Jake can grab me by the balls (any day). I knew that I’d be leaking fluids at his first whimper of panicked anguish. His unspoiled beauty sparkling with youthful earnestness about to be trampled underfoot is always pure gold. I just didn’t know how provoked I would be by big, bad Flash LaCash. He gets just the right amount of bemused pleasure by crushing JJ’s throat under his knee as he flexes victoriously over him. He manages to look both barely winded by his devastating feats of strength, and glistening, dripping even with sweat. His mastery of the pro wrestling ring and his completely dominating size and strength over the lightweight Boy Scout is pitch perfect. Awesome pairing of wrestlers in order to tell a profoundly compelling homoerotic wrestling narrative.

Super Heel Turn

January 7, 2015 wrestlebardLeave a comment

Eye of the Cyclone continues to own the superhero homoerotic wrestling comic book scene. I got reacquainted with EotC in 2014 and have slowly been working my way through the back catalog of scorching hot comic-style storytelling. You’ve got to be patient for the unfolding serials, because like clockwork EotC releases precisely one new chapter a week, sometimes switching back and forth between 3 or 4 open narratives at any given time. Last April “Idle Hands” started up, starring the divine mind-fuck of a physique on superhero Archangel. The final chapter in this magnificent melodrama just posted last week.

You know my soft/hard spot for inked muscle, so this superstud grabs me by both balls instantly. And speaking of getting grabbed by the balls, an insolent, evil army of bodiless hands seem like no match for the granite carved muscleman until they start clawing at his crotch and ripping off Archangel’s super gear.

Sure, just a few little disembodied hands seem like no match for a superhuman muscle god. but while trying to keep them from peeling him out of his silver trunks, Archangel is caught off guard by a metal column sent abruptly crashing down on him, knocking him and all of those fantastically gorgeous, powerful, suddenly impotent muscles out cold.

When the ripped Boy Scout rouses, he discovers the maniacal little hands have trussed his hot bod up in devilishly ominous red chains, leaving the masked muscleman’s luscious muscles stretched out vulnerably for more sadistic groping. My hands are already pleading the case to become unattached in order to join in this super take down!

idle6

Those blood red chains have a life of their own, wrapping themselves all over the superhero’s fantastic physique, caressing, crushing, and possessing him from every angle. A mysterious red glow envelopes the helpless hunk, burning the good right out of the fallen angel, replacing his earnest silver trunks with minuscule, intensely sexy red ultra briefs. His golden fetish face mask is remolded into a demonic form, glowing red eyes peering out symbolizing the maleficent spirit now in possession of the magnificent muscleman from the inside out.

The army of evil, disembodied hands gather around their newly incarnated super villain master who flexes those stunningly sexy muscles, tugging at his already barely adequate briefs. Once as unblemished and angelic as the fresh fallen snow piling up at my doorstep, the superhero is vanquished and replaced by a hellishly cruel spirit with just two things on his maniacal mind: 1) stroking this phenomenally sexy body his minions have acquired for him, and 2) lusting to use all of these stunning muscles to crush and conquer every super hero hunk he can get his hands on.

Watch out, Supersonic, because I’m hoping like crazy he’s coming after you’re hot bod next!

If you enjoy hot hunks, superheroes, and full on erotic combat delivered in classic comic-book style, check out Eye of the Cyclone for every enticing panel of Idle Hands and dozens more stories.

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

January 6, 2015 wrestlebard1 Comment

I’ve been touched by some back channel lobbying for my homoerotic wrestler of the month title lately. I don’t flatter myself into believing that it really amounts to anything momentous, but it boosts my ego a bit to know that there are wrestlers and fans who care enough to make a pitch. As I repeat often, this is an entirely subjective honor that conveys nothing other than which wrestler appearing in a new release kept recurring in my waking homoerotic wrestling fantasies most, which wrestler inspired the rawest lust and the deepest satisfaction, which wrestler made me gasp, or laugh, or groan in such a way that, as I look back on the previous month’s new release, it’s his face (or other body parts) that keep showing up in my mind’s eye. Knowing full well that someone is instantly disappointed the moment I announce it, I humbly present my choice for December’s new release homoerotic wrestler of the month…

… Trey Dixon.

trey7 — Skip Vance couldn’t keep his hands off Trey in Gear Wars 4.

Regular readers will note that this is the second win for the golden fantasy man in just 6 months. Trey’s first snag of the crown as HWOTM came with his summer appearance in Wet & Wild 7. He moved his mouthwatering body inside for last month’s winter new release, Gear Wars 4. Facing the return of perennial jobber Skip Vance, Trey demonstrated once again why he has been setting the homoerotic wrestling scene and my crotch on fire in the relatively brief time his been in the business. He made me gasp, laugh and groan (and grow) in this December gear fetish themed confrontation, and he showed new depths to his full fledged citizenship in the the world of homoerotic wrestling.

It may not be the first time we’ve heard Trey speak on camera, but it’s the first time I remember savoring that slow, sweet Southern drawl as it drips like honey from his mouth. I believe Skip is an Arkansas boy, but I don’t know where ripped hunk Trey earned that luscious accent. His FB page says he’s from Los Angeles, but I’ve never met anyone from LA with as seductive a drawl as that. It isn’t just the quality of his voice that gets me either. He’s witty, clever, and deep down hungry, conveyed mostly in phenomenal body language peppered perfectly with a clear vocal narrative. His cocky banter paired with a throaty, eager craving to take full possession of Skip in one fantasy gear choice after another makes me laugh just a little, then silences me with his full throttle fetish sell.

trey3 — The most perfect pairing of gear and wrestling hunk!

The fashion show of Gear Wars 4 shows off Trey’s unbelievably sexy physique delightfully from start to full monty finish, but it’s that skin tight yellow singlet that made me literally gasp when Trey steps onto the BG East mat in it. I’m not the only one a little dizzy at the sight of the golden boy poured like chocolate milk inside that sensationally sexy singlet. Honestly, I think 9 hot wrestlers out of 10 couldn’t pull that singlet off (there’s a Friday Fashion poll in there somewhere, I’m sure), but Trey is nothing short of a vision of perfectly proportioned sex and wrestling in it. His vacuum packed package is hard to tear your eyes away from (and hard for Skip to refrain from grabbing reverently), but I swear there isn’t an inch of Trey that isn’t made that much sexier in this gear.

But it was the naked scramble near the end of this match that made me groan. A lot. Clearly staking out territory beyond his traditional jobber kingdom, Skip comes on stronger and harder the more of Trey’s mouthwatering skin he sees. I love this element of Skip driven to conquering success, despite his deep jobber cred, due to the enticing, intoxicating, alluring wonders of Trey’s 3% body fat, bronzed, beautiful, smooth, physique. I believe I’m correct in saying that every opponent Trey has faced has ended up sucking that face long and hard and giving every appearance of completely forgetting there’s a camera crew hovering nearby. Trey obviously doesn’t exactly resent inspiring a raging wrestling lust victory in his opponent, which makes me that much more infatuated with him. The moment at nearly the end of this match that Skip schoolboy pins his golden prey, reaching back and firmly grabbing hold of Trey’s perfectly bronzed meat says it all. Skip is as hard as a board and shockingly huge (I know I’ve seen him erect before, but damn it all if he doesn’t look way bigger than I ever remember). Gear on, off, on, off, on, off, on and off again has worked both lustful wrestlers into nothing short of a lather, and the fully naked, standing, inverted head scissors in which Trey hangs upside down, giving Skip unobstructed access to possess Trey’s cock hungrily, is my climax to this match.

Although I’ve been turned on like crazy by every match I’ve seen of Trey’s, this match truly surprised me on many counts, not the least of which is how supremely sexy his picture perfect body is from absolutely every angle and in and out of every gear genre. I’ve told a couple of friends recently that I’d give a kidney or two to pour honey all over that Academy Award statue that Trey calls his body and lick every inch of him. Slowly. What Skip’s imagination came up with after he dragged his trophy hunk from the mat room, we can only guess.

trey6 — December’s Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

So for the second time in just 6 months, I’m enthusiastically studying every bulge and crevice and saying Trey Dixon is not only homoerotic wrestling perfection in Gear Wars 4, he’s also my new homoerotic wrestler of the month.

2014 in the Rear-View Mirror

December 31, 2014January 1, 2015 wrestlebard4 Comments

Facebook has been offering to package a graphic presentation of how great 2014 was for me. FB doesn’t know shit. Despite ending on a bad note, though, it is certainly true that a lot of great things happened in recently past year. Remembering the best helps put the worst in perspective, so here are my top 10 favorite moments of 2014.

10. In May, Gio Benitez posted a desperately anticipated (by me) shirtless pic. Hot newsboys always grab my attention and stick in my memory, and the dubiously philanthropic fad of dumping buckets of icewater on oneself provided some sweet teases of hot newsboy muscles this year, including Gio and David Muir. But no news was quite so newsworthy as beefy sophomore newsboy Gio Benitez releasing a group photo with him right in the middle showing off his bare, beautiful, meaty pecs.

Jose made sure I also saw this sweet tease Gio released for New Year, with Gio’s muscles pumping and bulging as fellow fantasy man Ryan Hughes “trains” him.

9. In March I enjoyed a novel interview with adorable rookie jobber Ty Alexander all about homoerotic wrestling fashion. It was the first fashion-themed interview I’ve done, and Ty was all earnestness and adorability in dishing out fashion advice and sharing copious photos of his personal collection, both with his bodacious bubble butt in and out of them. Ty continues to impress me as a true native of the homoerotic wrestling universe, and I keep warning Drake Marcos to keep an eye out for this ingenue rising from the fresh meat counter to pick off more established young talents as the young wrestling stud on top of the fan-crush pile. Sure, with Ty it’s all about fashion. And wrestling. And, well, Ty. Just what will he get up to in 2015, one wonders…

8. In May, Clint Morgan sat down with me for a compelling and controversial interview. It should come as no surprise that brutal beast Clint pulls no punches, musing on both the dos and don’ts of the homoerotic wrestling world according to Clint. I’m still praying for that rip-and-strip match between Clint and Tyrell Tomsen to be realized in 2015… in my living room.

7. There are a few wrestlers who I have been angling to interview for a while. Perhaps in 2015 I’ll finally nail down some of those nasty cock teases. But a highlight of 2014 was the reward of tenacity and ingenuity to overcome unusual obstacles and have a thoughtful interview with giant killer Jayden Mayne in October. Hollywood handsome and shockingly brutal, wiry Jayden has plan to beef up and knock the legs out from underneath more big bruisers in the coming year. Cannot wait!

6. In May, homoerotic wrestling fanatic and friend of neverland, Jose, launched his sensational, bilingual homoerotic wrestling blog, La Sustancia P. Jose has carved out a delightful corner of all of the musings about the wrestling we love that’s all his own. The charts and lists and unstoppable powers of deduction bring the art of a homoerotic wrestling infatuation firmly into the realm of science. And science never, ever turned me on as hard as when I’m reading La Sustancia P.

5. August saw the fulfillment of a long-dreamed of moment for me, the on camera appearance of Kid Karisma’s naked ass. The answer of how many times must Kid K win the “best butt” year-end award before those glutes show up unobstructed is 2. In Undagear 22, my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler burned up the mat and crushed and demolished lucky, lucky, lucky Ray Naylor brutally. In a moment of generosity, though, Kid K celebrated his victory by peeling off his sweat soaked undagear and strolling slowly off the mat, bare assed and epically beautiful. I’m hoping this story arc swings into 2015 with actual bare assed, full contact wrestling action from Kid Karisma.

4. Some interviews are the result of begging, pleading and stealing on my part. And then some of my favorite interviews absolutely fall into my lap. When Chuck Flying Tiger Collins dropped me a note appreciating this blog in November, I snapped up the opportunity eagerly. Chatting with the Flying Tiger was like sitting down with an old friend, the back and forth flowing easily. Where I’m often battling nerves during interviews, Chuck had me kicking up my feet and coasting delightfully through the past, present and potential future of homoerotic wrestling. And then I nearly fell off my seat when Chuck sent me a couple of photos of his shirtless self today. Damn, damn, damn, I’m aching to see a Flying Tiger comeback in 2015!

3. In February I saddled up for my first three-way interview, sitting down with both Mason Brooks and Drake Marcos. Coming off of their sizzling hot Passion and Punishment match, I was counting my lucky stars to get to deconstruct their phenomenal confrontation from both handsome hunks’ perspectives. Little did I know I’d have a tiger by the tail in trying to steer both cocky studs through the same conversation. And while I was fully expecting Mason and Drake to throw shade each other’s way, I was sincerely shocked to find Drake irked and annoyed at me, despite my every effort to heap praise and adoration on the world class jobber boy. The interview turned into one of my favorite moments of the year for both the hotness I knew would ensue, as well as the heat that took me entirely by surprise.

2. Speaking of unexpected, my October interview with Shane McCall was simply the hottest interview I’ve ever conducted. I’ve been a slack jawed fanboy of Shane’s from the first moment I discovered BG East. So my heart was already a-fluttering from the get-go when I started talking with him about his epic return to the ring in Catch Weight 6, where he had some harsh words (and harsher holds) for cocky young jobber Ty Alexander. Shane’s retrospective on his early days in wrestling, his insights into the spirit and spirituality of homoerotic wrestling, and his candid thoughts about the near future of the business had me hard, but when Shane sucked me into his big, hairy, bear daddy fantasies, I was literally swooning. I had to hydrate often and towel often even more often, and if you’ve read the interview, it should come as little surprise it was a highlight of my year/decade. Shane also sent me New Year’s best wishes with this photo (above) attached, proving once again he can bend my back across his knee and go to town on my abs any day or night he wants!

1. Hands down my favorite moment of the year was meeting Drake Marcos and climbing into the BG East ring to settle a blogger v wrestler score that was brewing all year long. The whole visit was outstanding, and the entire match, including getting crushed hard between Drake’s crazy sexy legs, was thrilling. But if I had to narrow the whole thing down to that one, distinct, pristine moment that rises to the top, the very best of the best was stepping back to admire the jobber trapped in the ropes, then grabbing my phone in one hand and a handful of Drake’s hair in the other and snapping this keepsake.

So, sure it was “a year to remember” for so many reasons, and even this little jaunt down memory lane turns me on with memories that will surely get me hard for years to come. When it comes to outstandingly memorable moments in homoerotic wrestling blogging, I’d go so far as to say that this one is going to be very tough to beat. But I’m holding out hope that 2015 will have even more awesome, outstanding moments in store. Thanks to all of the fine men who were part of this year’s fun, including all of the hunks who let me interview them, all of my fellow bloggers who kept me informed and motivated, and one particular vanquished buck who proved once again that the pen, and my chokehold, are mightier than the jobber.

Holiday Cheer

December 27, 2014 wrestlebardLeave a comment

Bringing a little sparkle to my Christmas and warmth to my crotch, Ty Alexander sent me this Christmas card with love. Hands behind his head, smooth torso stretched out, sweet bulge pressing against the confines of those tight trunks… now that’s what I call holiday cheer!

The Season

December 23, 2014 wrestlebard2 Comments

As the longest night of the year passes, I thought I’d acknowledge that I’ve been relatively MIA around here, particularly when it comes to updating neverland. Just last month we experienced a big loss in the Bard household. I haven’t posted about it because grief is a buzz kill, and I didn’t want any of you to get your buzz killed along with mine. But as the year wraps up, I thought I’d explain my absence as far as saying that the end of this year seriously sucked. In addition to not posting here regularly, I also dropped the ball on at least 2 homoerotic wrestling related projects I committed to. Like I said, grief is a buzzkill, and I was struggling to get into it.

drake20 — Last year, this was on my wish list.

Happily, my buzz is returning. Things left undone in the mean time include not sending my traditional Christmas wish list to Santa’s little elves to deliver goodies to share with you here. You may remember it was precisely that Christmas wish list last year that Drake Marcos filled with some provocative pics and a particular taunt that came back to bite him in the butt this fall. Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever have quite such a fantasy wish list filled as climbing into the ring and gloating in victory over a too-big-for-his-britches sexy jobber wasted at my feet. Perhaps I should take a break from making wishes and just appreciate the good fortune last year’s list brought me. Then again, I wouldn’t say no to any choice pics of beautiful wrestling muscles Santa’s little elves send my way.

Honestly, one of the things that’s been highlighted by my recent loss is the amazing community of support that this little blog has generated for me in the past 6 years. As certain as I am to never, ever let Drake live down his stripped and strung up humiliation at the hands of a mere blogger, I’m just as definite about counting the Cheshire Cat among my friends that I can turn to for a word of consolation, or a distraction, or a kick in the ass, whatever the situation requires. Several wrestlers and readers alike that I hear from regularly (not the charming “Hey dude, I’m going to fuck you up, so let’s wrestle” private messengers, but the others) reached out and offered thoughtful and compassionate words of support to me over the past several weeks. I’m a little in awe and humbled to recognize just how much that’s meant to me, and amazed to think that a shared infatuation with the eroticism of wrestling is the common denominator that shaped those personal connections.

chaos2 — Thunder’s Arena’s new Christmas Chaos 2014 release is threatening to get me right back in the mood. Damn, look at sexy as hell young Kris Kringle red-bearded beauty Frey!

For those of you in the middle of holiday celebrations, I add to my late-started wish list that you have a great time, surrounded by love and support and with at least one rip-and-strip wrestling match in store for you with a hardbodied fantasy man of your dreams. For those of you not in the middle of holiday celebrations,well, hey… same for you, but with a bottle of baby oil thrown in for a little extra fun. To those who have been inconvenienced because I’ve dropped the ball lately, my sincere apologies and genuine intention and expectation that I’ll be back at the work that I love the most (and pays me the least) in the coming weeks. And finally, to anyone else in our community that’s finding this time of year particularly fucked up because of recent loss, I hear you. I know what you mean. It’s going to be okay, but not before it keeps sucking some more. So hang in there.

Fantasy Come True

December 16, 2014December 16, 2014 wrestlebard2 Comments

You know me. I enjoy some playful gear play in homoerotic wrestling as much as the next guy. Not as much as some of you, I know, but I’m intrigued and motivated by the concept of two gear fetish boys living out their fantasies in a winner gets to pick the next gear scenario. Trey Dixon and Skip Vance are intensely passionate to go to town on each other from the start in BG East’s new release Gear Wars 4. Fantasy manTrey apparently got to select the first fantasy gear: masks and tights for a sizzling hot ring beatdown. I fucking LOVE the temperature and pace as these two tear into each other, convincing me conclusively that they’re both stoked hotter and hotter by the fantasy gear itself, turning the high impact combat into sweet, sweet homoerotic wrestling. I’m completely turned on by both Trey and Skip groaning with pleasure when they enjoy riding time with a grope chaser. The momentum turns around a few times, but at face value, Trey is just too fucking big and strong to see this match up going anyway but his. And sure enough, strung up in the ropes and completely at his opponent’s mercy, Skip gets unmasked and forced to submit, giving Trey the next gear choice. But holy baby Jesus, I’m absolutely blown away by the sight of golden muscle boy Trey squeezed impossibly tightly into a yellow singlet. I mean, wow. I need to wipe some drool off of my chin. Other fluids are flowing as well. And clearly I’m not alone. Skip is momentarily speechless (and that’s saying something) as he stares slack jawed at this ripped, golden vision standing in front of him. I’m in awe of the mouthwatering beauty of Trey head to toe, but like Skip, I keep finding my eyes fixating on his tantalizing package suctioned into the pouch of that singlet.

That yellow singlet seems to inspire Skip to even more fervent offense, and if the ring action was delightfully erotic, the match combat is nothing short of full contact foreplay. Skip makes the most of every advantage he earns by squeezing and stroking the golden muscle boy with a hungry fierceness. As proxy for me and my wrestling imagination, Skip does a fine job of lustfully admiring Trey’s phenomenal physique from every angle.

The simpatico between Trey and Skip is stunning to watch. It’s not as if either wrestler is unaware of those moments of distraction they stumble into when one of them gets carried away with the eroticism. When Trey turns the tables on Skip, clearly aware of the blond boy’s carving to study every inch of Trey’s ripped bod, the golden boy sits on his chin and yanks on Skip’s hair to plant the punk’s mouth right between those stunningly hot, gorgeously muscled golden glutes. Honestly, I’m a little disappointed Skip didn’t say, “thank you!” Then again, he had a mouthful of meaty ass to choke on.

Skip scores a stunning submission on the goldenboy, earning both the right to rip the mask off of him and select the next gear. Seeing Trey’s ripped muscles stretched out and at Skip’s mercy absolutely grabs me by the balls. Skip works in just a little, too little for my taste, groping and muscle worship on his momentarily vanquished opponent.

The first gear change happened off camera, so I was incredibly pleased to see that the rest of the switheroos happen in full site of each other and me. Trey’s pissed as he peels out of that suction packed singlet, irked at having been submitted by the vicious boy toy. I’m a little pissed that we’re done with seeing him in that singlet, because… fuck. He’s insanely sexy in that thing. Then again, seeing Trey’s naked body before he slips on the designer briefs that Skip has chosen for him next isn’t a disappointment in the least. The briefs are beautiful as well, and appropriately, Trey stays in shimmering gold.

trey8 — Putting the “erotic” in homoerotic wrestling.

The boys quickly move through the next submission and into jock straps, which last about 45 seconds before the next submission and the fully aroused combatants start going at it entirely naked. I’m long gone several times over well before the full monty climactic scrap at the end, but the pause button, a little recovery time, and some water make the brief naked wrestling deeply satisfying all over again. Both boys are hard, but Skip’s uncut cock is absolutely raging with lust as he wraps up and is wrapped up by the stunning physical specimen bare beneath him. Personally, I find Skip more compelling as a wholesale jobber. He screams bloody murder and whimpers in a way that tickles my prostate just right. So his highly competitive and frequently dominating/domineering work in Gear Wars 4 isn’t quite in the sweet spot where I enjoy Skip most. But I have yet to see Trey fail to make me gasp in awe and wonder. His body is superhuman. His wrestling is raw and very rough. And having never heard the golden god talk nearly as much in any prior match, I am weak at the knees to hear that visually dizzying form of his paired with a deep, slow Southern drawl. I cannot wait (CAN NOT WAIT!) to see this phenom face a serious challenge in the ring. In whose expert hands do you think Trey should seriously be initiated into the ring? I’ve got my own ideas…

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