Tag: Eli Black

Making Jake

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Jake Jenkins – 5’7″, 155 lbs.
There are a few more Olympic round robins still to post, but in the mean time I’m starting a new series that’s been on my mind for a while now.  The concept is simple. The prep required is exquisite.  It’s inspired by the sell of a former homoerotic wrestler of the month and regular go-to hunk that never fails to turn me on.  These are the ABC’s of Jake Jenkins.  Just complete the phrase, “Making Jake….”  Here are A through E on my list.  If you have additional photos that illustrate more of the ABC’s of Making Jake, send them along!
Making Jake…
… asphyxiate.
Lean, mean, devastatingly handsome Jayden Mayne is sick and tired of being a whipping boy at BG East, and to prove it, he delights in making Jake asphyxiate.
… bend.

The combo of Jake Jenkins barefoot and in white trunks paired with Kid Karisma in black (and in the ring!!!) is nothing short of genius! Kid Karisma does a stunningly beautiful job of making Jake bend.

… cry.

Jake has gone back and forth with nasty grappler Ethan Andrews, and on more than one occasion the lean, mean Ethan makes Jake cry.

… drowsy.

Jake also has a running feud with the always dangerous 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month and friend of this blog (well, he talks to me…), Eli Black.  In there’s jock strap matroom sweat bath for BG East, Eli turns all of Jake’s cocky swagger and sculpted muscle into so much mush when he makes Jake drowsy.

… elated!

Jake’s got range, mind you, and it’s not all about making Jake suffer.  Joah Bindao is a hot little package who certainly makes jake work, but when he’s racked, bulging, and helplessly across Jake’s soaking shoulders, Noah can’t help himself but make Jake elated!

…to be continued.

Hurricane Morgan

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Morgan Cruise – 5’8″, 170 pounds – eyes on the prize
Morgan Cruise hit the ground running when he first arrived at BG East. Unfortunately for Morgan, he ran straight into a wall of competition grade granite by the name of one of my long time favorites, Lon Dumont.  One the one hand, Morgan is never subtle. Reports are that he showed up at BGE with his gaze fixed on becoming one of the greatest heels of all time.  The Boss put him in the ring with Lon Dumont who looks as though he’s a beautiful, bronze, shaved lightweight gym bunny ripe for a rising heel picking. Morgan quickly discovered in Rookie Wreckers that looks can be deceiving. Lon spent more than a decade in professional wrestling rings in independent productions, typically being a notorious badass and all around champion heel. With infinite (and incredibly sexy) patience, Lon taught Morgan just a taste of all he had yet to learn if he were ever to realize his dream of competing as a legitimate heel.
I’d give my firstborn to trade place with Morgan right here!

Regular readers will be unsurprised when I say that as delightfully as Morgan suffered, I had a majorly tough time ripping my eyes off of g-g-gorgeous Lon! Good god that man grabs me like few others! I do remember that Morgan sweat like a dirty pig (hot, hot, hot!) and showed some sweet, lustful delight in putting in a respectable power offense for just a bit of the bout. Sure, I could picture this hot, hairy kid growing up and becoming a sexy heel someday. But I get the impression that “someday” is not in the Mastodon’s vocabulary. And I had no idea that the boy with an 80’s mainstream pro wrestling muscle body was also an extremely quick study.

Morgan’s passed his heel-in-training qualifying exam all over Eli Black’s bashed body

By the time he climbed back in the ring with 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month, ripped gladiator Eli Black for Gut Bash 9, Morgan had not only learned his lessons, he’d mastered them, improvised on them, and showed true genius in both beating Eli to a pulp and showing off Eli’s phenomenal physique like a savant!  Against Eli, Morgan was dominant, brutal, and provocatively sexy as hell!

Morgan is THRILLED to deliver naked backbreaking bashing all over Demian Rush!

So I altered my picture of how Morgan might fit in the homoerotic wrestling universe. Clearly, we wouldn’t have to wait around for him to grow into a sexy heel.  He’s still so young, but fuck all if there’s not an old, vicious, soul-crushing heel living in that beast of a body!  So I figured we’d see Morgan hit the muscle taming circuit for a while, perfecting his craft, playing up the eroticism of trunks-on wrestling for gay eyes. But for his next appearance, he climbed into the ring with trust-fund baby muscleboy Damien Rush (upon whom I had an instant, blinding crush), and proceeded to strip the gorgeous rookie naked and deliver a muscle pounding in the buff.

Flexing naked over his crushed opponent, Morgan is THE MAN!
Good god, man! Strip Stakes 3 transported me back over a decade, reminding me of the thrill of watching the likes of the Brooklyn Bodywrecker toy with, delight in, and ultimately get off all over another frat boy. I’m not exaggerating here. Morgan pulled out nearly all the stops and I swear, as far as I’m concerned, he joined the ranks of the seriously hot heels.  Sweating every bit as much as before, totally naked and furry all over, Morgan is about 10 times more handsome and 100 times more worship worthy once the gear is off and he sticks around to deliver extra credit punishing humiliation.

Morgan stretches Diego Diaz long, long body to it’s gorgeous limits

So it makes complete sense that he skyrocketed to his own Wrestler Spotlight last month after only 3 matches to his name. Morgan’s Spotlight is one erotic epiphany after another. He starts off manhandling the long, tall drink of water Diego Diaz who has an eye on Morgan’s championship belt. What’s he champion of? Who the fuck cares?! Diego wants to see that belt buckled around his own six-pack beauty. I LOVE the look of Diego. I love his insanely long limbs, sculpted torso, handsome face, bushy hair and sexy, deep, accented voice. When he delivers some early punishment and a first shocking submission on Morgan to grab the belt and admire himself with it in the mirror, I admit I found the drama extremely compelling. I hope for big, big things from that big, big sexy man. But seeing Morgan hammer, slam, and beat the living shit of him all over and outside the ring is a thing of profound beauty. He stretches every incredibly long inch of Diego and then serves him up for us like a mouthwatering turkey dinner. Awesome. Simply awesome.

No shit! Pec claw push-ups on rookie muscle farmboy, Tony Law.

I have no idea where Tony Law has been hiding, but I’m extremely pleased that he’s shown his big, beefy, farm boy body in the BG East ring, and even happier that he debuted his luscious muscles and rocking ass against the rolling stone of Morgan Cruise! I’ve since learned that this is not the first time Morgan and Tony have wrestled (more on that later), which may explain that frightening lack of all humanity in Morgan’s absolute destruction, obliteration even, of the blond babyface with tree trunk thighs. For Tony’s sake, I hope he knew just how vicious the Mastodon could be, because this is a marathon shit kicking session!

Morgan looks ready to orgasm, riding muscle hunk Chace like a broken bronco
And speaking of marathons, in the finale to Morgan’s Wrestler Spotlight, he and Chace LaChance version 2.0 go at it so long you’d better pack a lunch and plenty of fluids! I still think Chace needs to face Lon Dumont in the ring, because it’s my armchair opinion that the tweezed pretty boy cost the two of them a humiliating tag team defeat in Tag Team Torture 12. Perhaps Chace’s newfound prime beef is in anticipation of his date with destiny in facing bodybuilding champion Lon (I can hope!). In the mean time, Chace pulls of some impressive offense against the rising tide of Morgan’s heel aspirations. But at this point, Morgan is just unstoppable. He’s also incredibly entertaining to watch along his journey to cement himself as not only on the list of sexy heels, but climbing those rankings. When he’s got that lustful, dreamy look in his eyes, clearly huffing on the scent of humiliation dripping off of a withering opponent, he’s a true wonder!  Any bitches even dare to suggest that he needs to shave or manscape more aggressively just sit right back down. Morgan is transported directly off of nationally televised professional wrestling badassness from exactly 27 years ago today, and hairy legs, pecs, pits, and pubes are 100% Morgan Cruise sexy heel fantastic!

Master Kevin and Morgan flex off

Others already knew Morgan from before he knocked on the door in Pembroke, from his self-promotion campaign as a teen bodybuilder to be worshipped on YouTube. I’ve since also discovered that his frequent competition for teen muscle worship fanatics, Chaoserver aka Master Kevin has since teamed up with Morgan (and Damien Rush and Tony Law!) to produce some sexy west coast independent wrestling of their own. More to come on this front soon, but I get the impression that perhaps the Mastodon may need a new nickname. Something like Hurricane Morgan. Because he’s nothing short of a terrifying, unstoppable force of nature these days!

Built for bare-assed muscle destruction.

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

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It’s time to honor another homoerotic wrestler who captured my imagination and excited me the most for appearing in a match released in the prior month. The field of contenders this time around is almost paralyzingly deep. BG East alone has populated the potential prize winners with one of the richest catalogs I can remember. From Strip Stakes 3, both gorgeous rookie Damien Rush and rising heel Morgan “the Mastodon” Cruise easily secure nominations. From Catch Weight 5, reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (porn-boy) Skrapper and his fanatsyman muscle beast opponent, Dev Michaels get credit where credit is most definitely due. Lovely underwear model Rio Garza gets a nomination for his Very Bad Day, getting fucked up sequentially and in tandem by Bulldog Barzini and his surprisingly inspiring protege, Mike Pitt. I can’t help myself but nomination from Mat Rookies 1 no fewer than 3 of the sexy, sweaty rooks, namely Ben Cohen, former HWOTM Jake Jenkins, and still another former HWOTM, Eli Black. It’ll come as no surprise, considering my recent gushing, that I’m breathlessly nominating rookie-I-don’t-think-so Latino stud, Diego Diaz from Florida Fights 4, as well as former HWOTM Bobby Horton and a new-to-me favorite, Drew Russell. And I’ll be damned if I absolutely can’t help myself but send up both big, luscious bruiser Chris Xaos and his muscle man opponent in combat boots, Rob Chandler, for one of the most homoEROTIC motel tussles, Motel Madness UK. Even with that huge list, I’m already second guessing several of the boys that I’m leaving on the table, but I must charge forward. Turning next to Can-Am, I’m whole-heartedly nominating yet another Latino muscle beast by the name of Thiago Diaz and ripped beyond belief Tyler Reese, for a muscle bashing feast for the eyes in Florida Pro Fights (not to be confused with Diego Diaz starring in BG East’s Florida Fights 4… seriously?). And then I can’t fail to nominate from the Rock Hard Wrestling ranks Eli Black (again) and his opponent, Austin Cooper, as well as former HWOTM Z-Man (aka Zack Johnathan) and muscle tamer extraordinaire, nasty Ethan Andrews.  And finally, an entry from an entirely new source this time around, I’m also nominating my personal crush and recent interviewee, Dan aka Steel Muscle God for his recent release of a muscle pose down, trash-talking, arm wrestling-leads-to no rules jockstrap wrestling on the mats in an unknown European gym (and if I knew the name of his shaved headed muscle beast opponent, I’d throw him a nominating bone as well).

This, my friends, has been a bumper crop of fantastic homoerotic wrestling! I think I’ll remember April 2012 for some time to come, because the new releases this month have kept me dehydrated and distracted from my work from start to finish. If it were even a slightly less competitive month, probably at least 5 of these boys would easily claim the title. But as hard as it is to put some of these incredibly entertaining boys in the back seat, I’m picking just one of them to drive us all forward as new, reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month…

Eli is only the second two-time winner of the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month. I trace his lead in the hotly contested race this past month starting right around April 4, when he dropped me the message that I might want to let neverland readers know that April was officially Eli Black month. Why official? Because Eli Black said it was so. Why his month? Because he was about to star simultaneously in new releases for an astonishing 3 different underground wrestling companies at the same time. And he kicked ass in serious MMA competition. And it was his birthday month. Enough said. It was Eli Black month.

Eli rips Austin Cooper in half.

I love, love, love a self-promoting, trash-talking, supremely confident, ripped muscle stud of an athlete, and there may be none to compete with him on all those fronts at the same time (except possibly Kid Karisma… now that would be a combination!). Eli’s match against goldenboy muscle man, Austin Cooper, was an astonishing catch weight wonder to behold. Eli quite literally got shot-putted halfway across the ring (multiple times), repeatedly slammed, stomped and pummeled corner-to-corner, tortured in the ropes, cracked and rocked humiliatingly across Austin’s knee… and still Primus kept clawing his way back for more.  RHW captures so well Eli’s face when he’s on top, making an opponent hurt, and he’s nothing short of ecstatic as he watches the agony he’s administering contort his opponent’s face.  Eli large and in charge drives me wild, but Eli taking an epic mauling and clawing back on his hands and knees to stare defeat defiantly in the face turns me into a quivering mess.

When the rules of amateur wrestling start to get bent, things get really interesting!

But truth be told, it’s Eli’s rematch against Jake Jenkins in Mat Rookies 1 that put the distance between Eli and the rest of the pack to propel him across the finish line first as homoerotic wrestler of the month.  Eli conceded in my recent interview with him that he has a grudging respect for Jake, and if he was forced to take a tag team partner, it’s be him. Watching Mat Rookies 1 gives you the context for that comment. After Jake schooled Eli hard for his rookie debut at RHW, they show up for this rematch on the mats for BG East. They’re both gorgeous in their singlets, and the initial amateur-style sparring is incredible to watch. They both give running commentaries on the holds and moves, as well as on their relative assessments of how each of them is doing in the match. They’re beautifully matched in both muscle and technical skill. If they’d grown up in the same place, I’m sure they’d have been best buddies, teammates on the wrestling team, and friendly competitors for being feared and adored the most in the cutthroat world of adolescence.

When the singlets come off, the rules go out the window.

But the stakes in homoerotic wrestling are decidedly different than those on the high school wrestling team. When Jake peels out of his sweat-soaked singlet, stripping down to his orange jock strap, Eli sees it for what it is: just another challenge. Not to be outdone by the beautiful physique of handsome, young Jake, Eli shrugs out of his singlet straps and strips down to his white jock strap, insisting that just like his wrestling, his body is better than Jake’s as well.

Nobody seems to be able to resist gut punching that wall of rippled muscle!

Locked in bare-assed combat, the boys demonstrate why amateur wrestling skills take you only so far once you’ve reached the ranks of underground homoerotic wrestling.  Amateur wrestling doesn’t offer the opportunity to see two bare-assed hardbodies pick each other up by the hair and slam one another into walls (I’d be much, much more into amateur wrestling if they did). Jake and Eli didn’t learn ab claws and gut punching and suspended surfboards and over-the-knee backbreakers from high school wrestling practice. Fortunately for us, they picked it up elsewhere, and they unleash every above and below board move at one point or another to lay down layer after layer of humiliating domination.

Eli wipes the smirk right off of Jake’s face with a bare-handed choke.

Jake is the smart-ass in this match. He smirks a lot. He laughs off clearly painful holds that Eli applies. He intentionally goads the rookie, questioning his manhood. His psychological strategy, for the most part, is to stay ice cool regardless how hot the contest heats up, letting rash, short-tempered Eli burn himself out and run himself into a corner with impetuosity.  Every time Jake muscles his way on top and controls Primus, he snorts and chortles, building the psychologically dominating argument that he’s destined to beat Eli.

Jake threatens to snap Eli in half.

But I have to admit that Eli’s half-centimeter long fuse is what soaks up my attention. He rides his rage like he’s in a rodeo. He counts up every indignity that he suffers at Jake’s hands in order to keep a running tally of the humiliation that he must, he will, he is destined to eventually return with interest paid. In the past, I’ve mentioned this notion of a wrestler staying “present” as something that turns me on and just isn’t always something you can count on, but Eli’s focus is like a laser beam. I forget that there had to be at least one or two other guys crammed into the mat room that day to film this gem, primarily because Eli is one fiercely focused mother fucker!

Shades of Brad Rochelle from Wrestlefest 2, Jake is ready to bag and tag his prey.

Both of these boys work… their… ASSES off in this match, which is also something that can’t be assumed. And by the time Jake hoists Eli across his shoulders and parades him around the ring like a stag he’s shot on opening day of hunting season, Eli’s rock hard vulnerability absolutely makes me gasp. All of the nuance and character in the match makes being captured in Jake’s torture rack exquisitely poignant and climactic. The battle has waxed and waned for both combatants, and it’s looked like it’s over many times already.  But finally, it seems like cocky and calm Jake had the winning strategy, letting Eli’s rash rage burn itself right out in a pool of outmuscled sweat and tears. All of Eli’s predictions of how he’s going to conquer the world, tame any foe, and become the franchise look like the dashed dreams of a hero from Greek mythology. Jake is stunningly powerful, and the look of primal joy/rage on his face as he struts around the mat and bounces Eli’s tortured back across his shoulders is the spitting image of another young, muscled frat boy seizing destiny by the balls and settling in for some well-earned self-congratulations.

“Go… to… SLEEP!”

Eli’s done that clawing his way back from the brink of despair that turns me on so hard. He’s battled long and hard. He’s sold me that he’s burned every last ounce of fuel in his tanks (of both physical and psychological stamina). Primus has told me that story that moves me so deeply. And then, holy fuck! He delivers two sharp elbows into Jake’s temple. As Jake stumbles and begins to drop Primus, Eli has captured Jake’s throat with his right arm before his feet have touched the mat. Out of nowhere, Eli locks on a beautifully tight, perfectly positioned sleeper. Jake fights it. The hit of dominating power and fate are still in his nostrils from the torture rack he commanded just moments ago. But ambitious young Eli remains clamped across Jake’s back like a python. Primus is gasping for air, still recovering from the torture rack. As Jake begins to melt in his arms, losing his hold on consciousness, the two sink to the mat with Eli’s cheek resting across the back of Jake’s head. “Go… to… SLEEP!” Eli gasps, almost pleadingly, desperate to put this most challenging rival down once and for all.

Jake dreams of past victories.

Just like in the ranking for HWOTM, Eli comes out on top. Both barely clad boys are nursing their wounds, neither one able to summon the strength to start the long journey out of the mat room. It’s done, as Jake pants desperately, regaining a solid handhold on consciousness and looking up to see Eli clutching his back, clearly still in agony. Grudging respect between these two?  Of course. And what does Eli say to sum up this destined-for-the-hall-of-fame 40 minutes?  “Pussy.” Of course.

Reigning 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month, Eli Black.

So last month was Eli Black month, leading to this month, as Primus returns to the throne of homoerotic wrestler of the month. It’s no wonder to me that he’s got his eye on running the show. He’s one fiercely entertaining, smoking hot wrestler. If I’ve said it once, I’m sure I’ll say it a thousand times. This is Eli Black’s world. You’re just living in it.

Eli Black’s World

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Go on. Try it.
Today is Eli Black’s birthday. Anyone wanna be first in line to slap that ass? Let me rephrase the question: anyone wanna be first in line to try to slap that ass?!
Eli screams his way to yet another victory in the cage.
Eli celebrated Eli Black month by winning a first round knock out victory in yet another MMA competition last weekend. Just like the boys at BG East, Rock Hard Wrestling, and UCW, Eli’s MMA opponents are learning the hard way to fuck with Eli Black at their own peril. And as an observant reader detected from my last post about Eli, it does indeed appear that he’s sporting some new bright red ink on his left upper arm.

Eli’s rematch with Jake Jenkins (pre-new ink) for BG East is an astonishingly sexy birthday gift for Eli fans. Eli and Jake start with some “practicing” in the mat room, demonstrating that both of these gorgeous hunks come from accomplished amateur backgrounds. They deliver a clinic of amateur holds and throws, each wrestler determined to prove his technical superiority.

The trash talk flies fast and furious from the start, getting hotter and hotter as the minutes tick by. “Maybe you should stop pissing me off,” Jake almost coos.  “Maybe you should stop sucking!” Eli snaps back.

Jake mocks Primus like poking a pit bull with a stick. “Uh oh,” he chuckles, controlling Eli’s back. “What’s about to happen to Eli Black?”  Eli gets more and more pissed by the second. “Stop being a bitch, Jake!”

These boys tell a fantastically compelling story. You know the story. It’s about the rush of testosterone mixed with injured pride. It’s told in sweat and grunts, all the while desperately trying not to look like they’re breaking a sweat or having to work. The story is about getting seriously pissed off at one another, but struggling to maintain their cool, to laugh it off, to look like the hot hunk who just out hustled or outmuscled you isn’t getting in your head.  Well, Jake manages the I’m too cool to look like I’m working bit. Eli isn’t really one who tends to hide it when he’s getting good and pissed off.

Jake just laughs when Eli snaps on a spladle, stretching Jake’s legs apart. “Stretch ’em out a little more,” Jake taunts him.  When Eli obliges, Jake’s back arches and the veins in his neck rise to the surface, but he just smiles. “Quit being a little bitch! I know this hurts,” Eli snarls back.

Jake locks on a headscissors, pulling Eli’s face high up against his ass. “How does that smell?” Jake asks nonchalantly. A few seconds later, the two are stalking one another around the small mat room, and Jake shrugs his big shoulders out of his singlet. “Oh, what,” Eli snaps, “you’re big?” Jake grins ear from ear when he replies, “I’m sexy!” Never to be outdone, never to to fail to see the element of competition in anything in life, Eli quickly sheds his singlet, yelling, “I totally, totally look better than you!”  With Eli standing in nothing but his jock strap and boots, his abs ripped to shreds, Jake gives credit where credit is due. With just a twinge of a sound of surprised respect, Jake murmurs, “Not bad, not bad at all!”

Eli took a hard, humiliating loss in his first time out of the gates for BG East. At RHW, he took a hard, humiliating loss his first time there, as well… to Jake. But the infinitely ambitious, testosterone overdosed hot head Eli is done with his rookie initiations. He spends the next 25 minutes making Jake sweat, scream, and submit. It’s not a walk in the park, and somehow, I can’t imagine Eli would ever bother with something as ridiculously boring as taking a walk in the park. He loves this shit. He loves being challenged. He loves his low boiling rage getting poked and prodded. He loves getting pissed off, because he’s convinced that, like Dr. Bruce Banner, once he completely loses control of his rage, he’s unstoppable and superhuman.  These two toned athletes go at it non-stop, meaner and harder and sweatier with every passing moment. They trade holds and submissions, and they dance along the edge of injuring each other’s bodies along the way to their real goal, crushing each other’s egos. With just a minute left, the tables are still turning back and forth until Eli successfully wipes the grin off of Jake’s handsome face (by choking him out cold), once and for all.

Happy birthday, Eli!

Happy birthday, Eli. You haven’t been on the scene of homoerotic wrestling long, but you’ve already rallied an army of fans who are sincerely happy to have you on board.

A Tough Little Shit

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Joe at Ringside at Skull Island has detailed what’s going so right in gay underground wrestling to produce the likes of Rock Hard Wrestling’s latest release, pitting brawny golden boy Austin Cooper against Eli “the Shutdown” Black. As is so often the case, I agree with Joe in every point he raises. Continuing my own train of thought after learning from Joe’s reflections, I’m compelled to linger a little longer on this little piece of the mountain of evidence that this is, indeed, Eli Black Month.

Bodyslam breaks down this gorilla press to perfection!

“I’m supposed to wrestle you?” Austin asks when he climbs into the ring and takes a look at Eli. “I don’t know, dude, you’re kinda small. Do you wanna, like, play a board game or something you might be able to win at?” Eli’s just a couple inches shorter than the golden boy, but he’s giving up an astonishing 30 pounds of thick, mouthwatering muscle. However, the words “giving up” and “Eli Black” in the same sentence are an unlikely combination. “Sounds to me like you’re just trying to find an excuse to not get your ass beat by somebody smaller than you,” Eli responds to Austin’s taunts, cool as ice.

“Wow, dude!” Austin chuckles. “Guy’s got a little mouth on him.” Indeed, as Joe points out, this 3-fall match is a gorgeous and athletic rendition of the classic big-vs-little pro wrestling battle that’s been told for generations. While the path has been well-worn, Austin and Eli walk it very, very entertainingly.  Austin suggests opening with a game of mercy (aka, “test of strength”). Eli’s ego is about 4 time bigger than his ripped to shreds body, so he of course (possibly foolishly) agrees. They lace their fingers together and flex their wrists. Eli pours out everything he’s got, straining and huffing and puffing. Austin rolls his eyes and then looks at the camera, demonstrating that he isn’t about to break a sweat.  “Don’t mock me!” Eli snarls through gritted teeth, his pride already injured a couple of minutes into the action.

Austin hangs Eli from the ropes like laundry on the line

There are two Austin Coopers in this match, and both of them combined into one person are exponentially sexier than either one on his own. First, there’s Austin, budding into potentially “the dreamiest heel of all time,” as Joe puts it. It’s not as if he needs to break the test of strength with a sucker-shot knee lift to Eli’s gut. He clearly doesn’t need to pick up and twist Eli’s taut muscles like a pretzel, hanging him like freshly rung laundry from the ropes in order to pound his knee into Eli’s legendary rock hard core. It’s not like Austin needs to kick Eli when he’s down. But like asking Mallory  “why climb Everest,” Austin dishes out unnecessary roughness all over Eli’s battered body for a simple reason: because it’s there. But there’s another Austin Cooper in the ring in this match. He’s every bit as beautiful, bulging, and brawny. But he’s a sensitive, empathic playmate checking on Eli’s well-being with concern. “Are you all right?” he asks with apparent sincerity, even moments before that other Austin rains down another barrage of fists to Eli’s abs. “I’ll help you up,” Austin offers when Eli is struggling to pull himself up to his feet, a half a second before that other Austin bends over, wraps his bronzed, muscled arms around Eli from behind, and hoists the fierce scrapper up off his feet into yet another rear bearhug.  After evil Austin rings out one of the sexiest OTK backbreaker submissions I’ve ever seen, Eli starts round 2 cringing and clutching his throbbing lower back. “You really did a number on my back for that one!”Eli snarls angrily. Empathic Austin replies, “Yeah. I feel bad for that. Come on, let’s just go…” But just as amiable Austin is helpfully about to suggest that Eli take a breather in the corner, evil Austin suddenly sucker punches Eli and laughs at him for being so gullible.

The agony and the ecstasy – The most gorgeous wrestling pic ever?

Both Austin Coopers learn not to underestimate every ounce of the dangerous 140 pounder in front of them. One taunt too many, one humiliation to far, and Eli’s MMA training kicks on like autopilot just as Eli seems to be too dazed to defend himself. Primus goes to work on one joint after another, effectively neutralizing all those golden muscles of Austin’s and, more importantly, shutting him the hell up!  He pries Austin’s left knee backward so severely that the “big boy” is in danger of having his own boot shoved up his ass (with his foot still in it!). “Kiss your boot!” Eli snaps angrily, ready to dish out just as much humiliation as he can take. Eli is like a swarm of bees, stinging all over Austin’s luscious body leaving the golden boy with nothing to do but writhe and squirm, defenseless to even know where the next stinger will land.  “It’s a shame your tag team partner Jenkins ain’t here, big boy, to save you!” Eli’s crotch-ripping grapevine displays his fierceness and Austin’s mouthwatering physique, both to perfection. “Time to finish this!” Eli growls through gritted teeth. “And it’s going to end with you lookin’ like a bitch!”

Crucified and just so much workout accessory

Falls even at one a piece, there’s mutual respect filling up all the open spaces between these two cocky young athletes. “You’re a tough little shit,” Austin grudgingly admits. “You surprised me a bit.”  Eli grins at having forced that reluctant praise out of his 30 pound bigger opponent. “I told you,” he replies, “I gotta get my name out there.”  The final fall is down and dirty. Eli paints on still another coat of humiliation, taunting and toying with vulnerable Austin when the golden boy is completely under his control. But Eli’s got 2 strikes going against him. Strike one: he’s fighting 2 different Austin Coopers at the same time, and that fact seems to unsettle even scrapper Eli on occasion, not knowing who he’s facing from moment to moment. Strike two: Eli puts 110% effort into absolutely every move, every hold, every punch, stomp, and slam. Sure, that puts the “big boy” on his back repeatedly, but Eli’s body has taken a serious beating by the time round 3 is well under way. Another atmospheric belly-to-belly splash delivered by Eli clearly hurts “the Shutdown” at least as much as it damages Coop. Sure, a flying cross-body slams Austin to his back, but getting up (slowly), it’s Eli who’s clutching at his throbbing abdominal muscles, quivering from the impact. Even 110% of what he’s got left in his tank isn’t enough for Eli to pull off a second flying cross-body, and the bronzed muscle boy catches him in mid-air. It’s steadily downhill from there for Primus. Once a ship the size of Austin has managed to change the direction of this match, there’s just nothing for Eli to do against wave after wave of Austin’s size advantage crashing squarely and repeatedly into Eli’s battered back. Evil Austin does leg presses with Eli crucified across his back helplessly.  The ultimate indignity (just ask Kid Karisma), Austin drops his meaty ass like dead weight across Eli’s quivering lower back.

The RHW camera work is, as always, incredible. The high definition close up of Eli’s sweat-soaked face contorted in agony as he writhes on the mat with Austin circling like a lion toying with his lunch is nothing short of exquisite.  Austin plays the possibly psychopathic split-personality heel to perfection, leaving you never quite sure if he’s certifiable, or if he could really and truly possess a viscously sadistic sarcasm that dry. And although this doesn’t quite turn out the way “the Shutdown” probably intended, I’m not about to doubt for even a second that Eli’s soaking up his lessons in the school of hard knocks, conceding the battle in order to win the war and accomplish his explicit goal: to take over the underground wrestling world. It’s Austin Cooper and Austin Cooper winning the match. But this is Eli Black’s Month.

*My thanks to Rock Hard Wrestling for sending me some unpublished stills from this match to post here. All shots from RHW are used with permission, and as gorgeous as they are (that shot of Austin’s crotch ripping in half with Eli looking on like an evil genius might be my fav homoerotic wrestling pic ever), they’re just at taste of how hot the action-in-motion is in this match!

Public Service Announcement:

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This is Eli Black’s world. You just live in it.

True story: Out of the blue, a few days ago I got an instant message from Primus himself, Eli Black. He said that I’d “probably want to mention on your site that April is ‘Eli Black Month.” Well, hello to you, too, Eli! To what do we owe the honor of celebrating Eli Black Month? Turns out in April it’s going to be raining Eli! And when it rains Eli, it pours!

Eli’s arm raised in victory in the steel cage last weekend

To kick off Eli Black Month, just days ago the Shutdown did his magic all over some unlucky punk on his way to winning a 2nd round submission with a rear naked choke in his most recent MMA fight. For real.  All that muscle and all that attitude don’t just entertain us troops of fans. He’s also one seriously dangerous pit bull in the cage. Can you imagine having that muscled warrior wrapped around you from behind, squeezing you between his legs and slowly, precisely crushing your windpipe with his forearm? Hell. And yes.

UCW’s XanJey grabs a handful of Primus

Eli unilaterally designated April as his month because he’s also got his fine, fine, fine ass due to appear in one wrestling match after another for our corner of the wrestling audience. First up, catch Joe’s review of Eli’s debut appearance at UCW. I haven’t seen the match yet, but Joe has posted a pic of Eli’s opponent crushing Primus’ balls, and his green trunks are clearly wedged way, way up that gorgeous ass Eli’s not shy about mentioning. Truth be told, I’ve heard a little shit about UCW that’s kept me away, but Eli Black on the docket is bringing them some class and a second look from me.

Exclusive shot of the action at RHW: Eli ripping Austin in half (and loving it)

Are an MMA victory and a UCW debut enough to make this Eli Black Month? Don’t answer until you hear this: Just a couple days ago, Rock Hard Wrestling released their latest product, featuring a match up that makes my mouth water just thinking about it: Eli facing Austin Cooper. Eli is giving up 30 pounds to beefy golden boy Austin. He gets rocked (literally) to a first fall submission, those mind-boggling abs stretched so sweetly across Austin’s meaty thigh in an OTK backbreaker, only to inspire Eli to get down and dastardly for a round 2 mauling of Austin’s impressive abs (but let’s face it, he’s no Eli Black). Check Joe at Ringside at Skull Island for the definitive review (I’ll have more to add in a couple days), but holy shit, Austin lifts, tosses, slams, and basically shot-puts Primus all over the place! In the ropes, hanging upside down in the turnbuckle… sweet man alive, Eli takes a hell of a beating and keeps bouncing back for more!

Eli’s rear choke makes Jake Jenkins reconsider the wisdom of this rematch

So an MMA victory, a UCW debut, and a Rock Hard pretty boy pounding? But wait, there’s more! When Eli talked about some of his then-unreleased matches for BG East in my interview in February, it was his re-match against muscle stud Jake Jenkins that caught my (and several readers’) attention first. The advanced release promotional pics that the boys at BG East generously let me post illustrated the best news I’ve heard in months: this is a jockstrap match! I have to think it was a crush of calls from fans desperate to taste this promised delicacy for themselves that resulted in BG East releasing this visual feast of a match as part of Mat Rookies 1 in their just moments ago published catalog 92.

Coming and going: April is Eli Black Month

An MMA victory, a UCW debut, a Rock Hard ring match, and an epic (and extremely rare) BG East rematch with body beautiful Jake Jenkins!? To top it off, Eli gave me the heads up that his birthday is also in April. As always, it’s just hard to argue (or at least win an argument) with Eli Black (unless you’re Joe, then it seems like it’s hard not to argue with Eli!). With the body of evidence Eli has presented, along with the additional sentimental fact that the Shutdown is about to celebrate a birthday, I just can’t come to any other conclusion. So just sit back, turn on, tune in, and just concede the facts: April is, indeed, “Eli Black Month.”

Stop and Double-Take

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Eli Black, aka Shutdown, aka Primus, aka Amazing
February is a short month to reign as top homoerotic wrestler, but Eli Black certainly hit the ground running with his recent release for Rock Hard Wrestling, delightfully schooling body beautiful Alexi “Drago-lite” Ivanov in the brutal realities of post-Cold War combat. Eli scolded me a bit for covering some of the same ground as in his interview with Joe, when I asked him about what aspects of his rocking rock hard body he’s most proud of.  Technically, Joe asked Eli about how it was to work for Rock Hard Wrestling (this was prior to BG East’s release of Gut Bash 9), during which Eli took the opportunity to appreciate how RHW makes his “picture-perfect eight-pack abs and that amazing and stunning ass” look so incredible. So my question wasn’t exactly old news, but I wasn’t about to try to correct Eli Black! I’ll leave that to much more accomplished hands (like Jake Jenkins, Morgan “the Mastodon” Cruise, etc.). And God help them when they try…
Jake put Eli’s divinely sculpted 8-pack on display.

In any case, Eli once again sang the praises of his astonishingly hard washboard and his luscious ass. So as the days wind down in February, I want to echo, once again, what I said to Eli. His abs and his ass are also at the top of my list of favorite elements to the stunning fight physique that Eli has crafted.
Morgan tried to tenderize Eli’s cement core.
Why worry about sculpting a zero-fat granite sculpture like Eli’s? Of course, Eli answered that question for us as well. The better to take a beating, in the unlikely event, and bounce right back to be ready to climb into the ring and come back swinging. Eli’s body is clearly devoted to one task, and one task alone: to be as hard and strong as physically possible. So sure, Morgan pounded the living shit out of Eli’s washboard until his anatomy chart core was a deep, throbbing red. I have no doubt in the least that Eli was roaring to climb back into the ring the next morning, ready to take what he’d learned from getting caught by a surprise spear from the Mastodon and incorporate it into Eli’s own brutally dangerous game plan.
Eli’s ass is certainly eye-catching!

 And that ass! “Pow,” indeed! I throw around the term “bubble butt” far too freely around here, I’ll be the first to admit. I like a powerful, round, more than a couple handfuls of gluteus maximus any day. But Eli’s divinely sculpted ass has no resemblance at all to a bubble butt. Like every other inch of his physique, it’s hard, without an ounce of wasted mass. There’s nothing bubbly about Eli, from his tunnel vision focus on victory to his rock hard, lean butt. But unlike some endurance athletes who seem to whittle their glutes down to being flat as a board, Eli’s got the genetics to sport both zero bodyfat and a truly gorgeous, aesthetic, curvaceous, meaty ass! These cheeks could crack walnuts and look oh, so good doing it!

Eli looked primed to fuck up (or just fuck) Russian muscleboy Alexi.

I got the impression from my interview with Eli, and from Joe’s interview before that, that Eli Black is ready to do whatever it takes to get the point across: that he’s the best. His description of what he’s prepared to do if Attila Dynasty ever tries to recapture Eli’s face between Attila’s dangerous thighs (in an as yet unreleased match for BGE) was profoundly moving for me. He’s going to drive his elbow up Attila’s lean, mean ass; then he’ll ambush Dynasty whenever he climbs into the ring against another opponent, in order to beat them both senseless and shove the third man’s fist up Attila’s ass. Good fucking God! Eli Black’s playbook sounds like a combination of the movie Caligula and classic indy pro. Now that is an inspired homoerotic wrestling imagination!

Cannot WAIT to see Jake and Eli’s world class asses hit the mat!
And I suspect I hardly need to point out to anyone the provocative suggestion that Eli made when I asked him about seeing the preview pics of him wrestling a rematch with hunk stud Jake Jenkins in jock straps. When Jake decided to strip down to next to nothing, Eli took it as a personal challenge to follow suit. “I’ll wrestle naked,” Eli stated boldly in our interview, “just like they did it in the beginning of wrestling in Greek times.”  I, for one, am not about to question Eli Black’s sincerity or the strength of his convictions, so I believe him 100% when he says he’s willing to wrestle naked. This, of course, begs the question of when a wrestling promotion is going to put Eli in front of a wrestler who will deliver the full monty challenge that we’re all now holding our breath for?! So many hot, naked wrestlers to choose from, I’m not sure who to recommend. How about dangling raw, fresh meat in front of this raging bull like Tyrell Tomsen or Christian Taylor? Or how about put him in the expert hands of Kid Vicious or Cage Thunder? Primus says he’s ready to battle like the Greeks, and someone needs to take him at his word!
Eli’s got plans, don’t doubt it for a second!
Eli Black has depths that have yet to be plumbed. He’s fierce, brash, potentially reckless, even, so I hope he doesn’t burn out prematurely. If he takes his knocks and sticks it out, I can’t help but believe every word of what Eli predicts for himself. He’ll be running the show (with an iron fist, no doubt) before all is said and done!

Primus

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When Eli Black powered into the title of my homoerotic wrestler of the month on the strength of his appearance last month for Rock Hard Wrestling, followed quickly by his debut match release for BG East, I decided to see if I could track him down for a follow-up interview to his barnburner verbal fencing match (or brawl) with Joe at Ringside at Skull Island. Despite his stated reluctance to grant me this interview, Eli actually seemed pretty open to the idea from the start, and let’s face it, Eli Black loves to talk about Eli Black! Since everything was going my way for this little project, I decided to press my luck and approach the boys at BG East to see if they had any cutting room floor shots of Eli’s match with Morgan Cruise. To my shocked delight, in what I think might be a first ever pre-release of shots from as yet unseen BG East matches, Kid Leopard himself sent me some exclusive, never before published photos of Eli in three yet to be released bouts, with permission to share them here! I get the impression that BG East is thrilled to have this ferociously ambitious tiger by the tail. He kept me on my toes during this interview. He makes some extremely bold predictions for his future success in homoerotic wrestling. And combined with seeing the punishment he can dish out and take, my conversation with Eli has made me that much more infatuated with this fierce, rock hard, seriously dangerous hottie!
———-
Eli Black – ripped, roaring and ready to conquer the world!

Bard: Thanks for agreeing to talk with me, Eli. I read your interview with Joe over at his blog Ringside at Skull Island and I was feeling a little intimidated. Your conversation with Joe seemed to get a little testy. Are you and he still on speaking terms?

Eli: I’ll be honest, I didn’t want to take this interview, but as far as speaking terms, you’ll see if he ever writes anything bad on me again.

Bard: Well, I’m that much more grateful that you did take this interview! I just watched your debut match with BG East against big bruiser Morgan Cruise. Holy shit, Eli! Your body is ripped to shreds! What’s the secret of staying at that level of conditioning?

Eli competes in MMA as well as as his sights
set on RHW and BGE!

Eli: Ugh!! Morgan Cruise, the hamasta pussy. Let me just say first of all that whole match was bull shit! Cheap shots left and right. I can’t wait till I see him again. Oh my God I… hate!!!… losing!!!! He’s got it coming. But I work hard on my body, with various circuit work outs from speed to power to stimulate my muscle, to be primed and ready to take beatings in case I end up taking a b.s. beating like this match was. My recovery that way is rapid and gets me back in the ring ready for more, unlike the rest of the out of shape pussies who are cheap pieces of shit.

Bard: Well your fitness is incredible, and the work you’re doing in the gym is phenomenal to see in the ring! So speaking of your match with Morgan, it certainly looks to me like you’re toying with the big kid in the opening moments. He’s flat-footed, slow, and I get the impression that you could put him on his back in a split second. With your MMA background, do you find it hard not to open up a can of full-contact whoop-ass in the world of pro wrestling?

Eli: [laughing] Yeah, I definitely can’t help myself but go. Whether I’m toying with someone or in a grudge match, I’m really good at finding a weakness in my opponents. And in Morgan’s case I could kick and strike him all day long, but once he speared me, he caught me way off guard, which was unusual for me. But I’m more than positive when it’s me and him again, he’s done! But yeah, I definitely toyed with him in the beginning. I mean there’s no one out there with my skills, so why be scared?

The Mastodon drives Eli into the
corner

Bard: I have no trouble believing that for an instant! I’ve noticed that Morgan has been calling himself “The Mastodon” in his bid to be the next big, bad heel at BG East. Other than him being hairy and, compared with you, slow, I’m not really sure his nickname really says a lot about him. Now that you’ve seen him up close, what nickname would you pick for him?

Eli: Like I said earlier, “masta pussy!” Even so, I wouldn’t even say that he’s huge! He’s not insanely strong. He’s nothing special. I am just gonna say “No Name,” because I don’t have time to waste on giving that cheap ass a nickname. Next time I see his ugly ass, I’ll make sure to cover his face up with his own underwear, with a sign on his back sayin, “Eli Black: I don’t want that!,” because of how horribly I’m going to destroy him! Other than that, his nickname is just plain stupid, and if I were his reflection in the mirror I’d laugh in his face!

Bard: I know a whole army of your fans who would line up to see you do all of that! What’s a good nickname that your fans should call you?

Eli: Hmmm, I like to think I “shutt” down my opponents, so it’s only fair to say Eli “the Shutdown” Black. What ya think about that? Amazing? Yeah, I know. I can be known as that too!

Bard: Both options sound excellent to me! So Eli “the Shutdown” Black, I hope you don’t mind if I ask another question about your body, because it’s quite a favorite topic of mine lately. With a body as amazing as yours, I can imagine it might be hard to decide, but what part of your body are you proudest of?

Eli: Hmmm, well in my other interview I did have a similar question, and since then, other than me getting even tighter and harder than before, it’s still an out of the park easy answer: my picture perfected 8-pack (sculpted by the gods themselves), and my ass that will make anyone stop and double-take more than once. And once again, I give it all to God for giving me this cement block for me to be sculpted the way I am.

Bard: Your 8-pack and your ass top my list of favorite parts of your body as well! I’m also a big fan of body art, so I love your tats. The colorful tat down your ribcage quickly caught my eye. It looks fierce, but I can’t make out what it says. Any special significance to that or any of your other tats?

Number one, the highest ranking, aka the best

Eli: Well, the one on my ribs says “primus,” meaning number one, or the highest ranking, aka the best. The one on my thigh is the outline of the best wrestling state in the world, PA. And the one behind my arm says faith, but if you look closer you’ll see behind it in red is a Chinese reading of the saying “blood, sweat, and tears,” representing what I do and believe in. And on my back, you have my Pitt panther.

Bard: Awesome art, and very cool to see how each piece speaks to your passions and strengths. I think “Primus” could easily be another excellent nickname for you. So when I mentioned to Kid Leopard at BG East that you’d agreed to do this interview, he graciously sent me some exclusive, advanced preview pics of a few matches that you’ve wrestled for BG East that have yet to be released. First, let me say that you look incredible in every shot! Second, I’m immediately drawn to the evidence that BG East gave you a second shot at evening the score with Jake Jenkins after he defeated you over at RHW. What was it like facing Jake for the second time?

In a cage, in the ring, on the mat… Eli “Primus” Black is a triple threat!

Eli: Hmm, I guess Primus would be a good one. You can take credit for that and start it for me, why don’t ya? And yeah, Kid Lep is probably one of the only straight forward wrestlers I’ve met so far. But yes, for all my fans, I got another crack at Jake, and when I say it was once again a match of the year, I left no room for disappointment. You’ll all be out your seats when you see how I do this time around! You ask anyone at BG. I fought everyone to get that rematch with li’l Jake. He tried to get out of the rematch, but like I said, only if you’re lucky! And I mean if you’re lucky enough to beat me, you’ll regret it, because I will get you again, and when you see this match when it’s released you’ll see what I do the 2nd time around.

Down to jocks, Eli is determined to exact revenge
all over Jake’s hot muscled body.
Bard: Cannot wait! The shots Kid Leopard sent look like you’re on the mats, and you start in singlets, but at some point you’re both down to jock straps. Good God, man, that’s a hot set-up!
That ass will command a double-take any day!

Eli: Yeah, he was scared to step in the ring with me again, so I said, “Hey, you have a wrestling back ground like me (just not as successful [laughing]), so let’s get on the mats. While we’re out there, I guess he thought he had a better body than me, and decided to take his singlet down, and I instantly complied by pulling mine down. I’ll wrestle naked, just like they did it in the beginning of wrestling in the Greek times.

Eli’s got the noose tightening around Jake’s neck!

Bard: Pure gold, Primus! And it’s further evidence of what you’ve said about your divinely blessed ass! I cannot wait for that release! I also see that you faced off against a couple of the up-and-coming resident pretty boys of BG East. Attila Dynasty has been squeezing the will to fight out of his opponents between those surprisingly devastating legs of his. Any lasting memories of Attila that you have?

Eli’s got something in mind if Attila ever tries this again!
Eli has Attila all tied up.

Eli: Honestly that whole match is a blur, but if that little pussy Attila ever tries to put my face remotely close to his ass again, I will shove my elbow deep in it next time. Then I’ll jump in the middle of one of his matches and beat the shit out them both, and then shove whoever else was in the ring’s hand up his ass!!!!!

Bard: Personally, I’d love to see some serious shit get thrown down at BG East! First, I’ll send you $10 for elbowing Attila up the ass, and second, I’ll send you another $10 for interfering with his next match to fuck him up some more! Damn, I doubt BG East has any idea quite yet just how high you’re ready to climb!

Eli: I will say that BG East is definitely a whole different world of pro wrestling. Full of cheap ass cheaters and pussies who can only win by taking the easy way out with dirty tricks.  Rock Hard is a little more straightforward, less low blows and dirty shit, and they actually like to battle it out to be a true champion. But I’m not going to make excuses. I will overcome it all and be the champ for all wrestling, and I will go in the history books as the best, because I am the best! I train the best. I will beat the best, and I will show every one how to be the best, and what it takes to be…. Eli……… Black!!!

Bard: Hot damn, Eli! You’ve got me convinced and bursting with anticipation of seeing your master plan play out!  Your take on the differences between RHW and BGE is fascinating. I think I remember from your interview with Joe that you didn’t have a very high estimation of the scene at Rock Hard, either. Both venues have dealt you some hard knocks, but it sounds like you see the need for different strategies to accomplish your goal of conquering them both.

Eli: Yeah, Rock Hard has a bunch of two-faced snobs, but they’re not as dirty as the BG East pussies are. But yes, I will conquer it all, and I’m going to drag every one of my opponents behind me with a noose tied around their necks!

Pretty Chace LaChance does some
chiropractic work on Eli

Bard: Well, no one can say that they weren’t warned about you! I noticed there’s a shot of you wrestling Chace LaChance. I think Chace is probably the most ridiculously pretty wrestler you’ve faced. He’s talked some trash about being a boxer, but I just can’t believe a pretty face like his has ever seriously boxed. Please tell me that you left him significantly less pretty after your ring match!

Eli: No comment on him, but he was nothing that would make me think he ever boxed! Threw a punch at a pillow!!! And I would say he’s not gonna be so pretty on your scale when you see him after this match, regardless of the outcome.

Bard: I’ll take that as a promise, and again, I can’t wait to see that match! So despite having faced a whole lot of guys who did not impress you, if you had to pick one of your former opponents as a tag team partner, who would you pick?

Eli: As much as I hate to say it (and you need to understand I HATE it!), it would have to be Jake Jenkins, only because we both are similar in the way we make shit look good. We both do the work, and he’d be the only one I’d give any type of credit to.

Bard: I can’t say enthusiastically enough how I can certainly see how you and Jake make shit look good! I also have to think that the two of you would be a buzz saw through the unlucky ranks of RHW or BG East. So, you’ve been generous with squeezing this interview in, and I really appreciate it. Before I let you go, I’m wondering if you can talk a bit about what it’s like for you to have a growing group of seriously loyal fans who are tearing up the discussion boards singing your praises. You’ve made a huge impression on a lot of us fans in a pretty short time on the scene!

Eli Black makes shit look good!

Eli: I will say, and this will be the nicest thing you’ll ever here me say, that I love my fans. Believe it or not, as long as you like hardcore matches with great footage and moves and me doing what I do, I will always perform! Don’t doubt it. Keep talking me up. It makes me just wanna push harder!!!! And I have no limits!!!

Bard: That’s a challenge that I and a whole bunch of Eli “Primus” Black fans will be happy to accept! Win, lose or draw, there are a bunch of us crazy for more, and I suspect once we see that jockstrap match with Jake, you’re going to be getting more buzz than you can imagine! We’ll be happy to keep doing our part, as long as you’re keeping up your hot work and working that gorgeous ass of yours! Thanks so much for your time, and I hope we can talk again as you keep tearing up the wrestling scene!

Eli: Thank you. It was a better time than the last one. Just look forward to seeing me push harder and harder! I will never let you down.

Bard: Awesome!

Serendipity

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Eli Black is bulging in all the right places.

Serendipity: : the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for (according to Miriam-Webster). For example, what delightful serendipity, having just selected lean mean wrestling machine Eli Black as homoerotic wrestler of the month and then to find him the new coverboy for BG East’s new catalog 91!

It’s not that I expected or had even hoped to see the stunning likes of Eli on the pages of BG East at all, much less as the ripped to shreds model for the cover of the BGE website. It was just delightful serendipity.

I have not yet seen the brand spanking new release of Gutbash 9, but I’m hoping to soon. The promise of hairy side of beef Morgan Cruise and marble sculpted Eli taking it to one another’s abs with a vengeance is an arousing proposition, to say the least!

I can’t always tell from the photos or the match description who gives better than he takes, but it certainly looks like Morgan pushes his weight around and gives Eli a ferocious welcome to the ranks of BG East that he won’t soon forget. As I raved not two days ago, Eli is hot as hell, and for BG East it certainly looks like he’s even more ripped and beaten raw than I’ve seen him yet.

Morgan is looking every bit as tasty as in his debut wrecking at the hands of my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy) Lon Dumont. I’m thinking that Morgan was taking notes when Lon dished out the exquisitely gorgeous and hard lessons of what it takes to be a serious BG East  heel, because he looks like he pulls out all the stops all over Eli’s beautiful body. There’s some sadistic, cheating, vile and merciless punishment captured in the preview pics for this match, and 95% of it appears to be heaped all over Eli’s tortured body. Just like Lon explained, tying your opponent up helplessly in the ropes opens up the door for all sorts of beautiful battering! I swear I can put my hand up to the screen and feel the heat rising off of those beaten beet red abs of Eli’s.

Whoever picked Eli’s gear gets a major shout out from me, as well. His RHW gear has not been entirely complimentary, but this sparse fabric with a bit “POW” plastered across his ass is simply gorgeous! His ass in the air, in a rear mount working on sleepering Morgan out cold is making me want to go back and crown him as homoerotic wrestler of the month twice this month! Since Gutbash 8 technically hit the airwaves in February, I can guarantee that Eli is a serious threat to be the first ever back-to-back winner of two homoerotic wrestler of the month titles!

And I’m just saying, I never got quite the same impression of Eli’s package that these stills from Gutbash 9 clearly give. This is nothing short of beautiful art, my friends. I’m seriously smitten!

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

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I owe Rex Braddock a favor, because my travel schedule this month completely distracted me from celebrating Rex as homoerotic wrestler of the month like he deserved. The calendar has dictated that it’s time for a new wrestler of the month, however, and I’m ready to get down to business. The big splash in January over at Thunder’s Arena was the arrival of Impact, who just might be able to steal Big Sexy’s name. Matched up against his purported brother, “the All American Kid” Tak, and then against former homoerotic wrestler of the month Z-Man, Impact is looking awfully stunning, especially when he tugs down the front of his trunks provocatively. Neither Can-Am nor BG East posted any January new releases, as far as I can tell.  I’m bending the rules a bit to include three matches from Rock Hard Wrestling, because I failed to include the December 29 release of tasty Travis Storm getting worked on by lean, mean muscle machine Tyler Reeves. Since then, Rock Hard also released jock fantasyman Trent Novak going pec to pec with aspiring male model, Blue Steel Cliff Johnson, as well Eli Black following up his own Rock Hard debut with a muscle bashing demonstration of iron fist diplomacy against the Russian Dream, Alexi Ivanov.
While this is a relatively narrow field compared with some other months, I’m happy to report that the bench is satisfyingly deep. Absolutely any of the above mentioned boys would be welcome to work up a lather of sweat on top of me any day (or underneath, your call). This line up features major league beauty, personality, and salesmanship, but if I’ve got to take home only one of these wrestlers, my decision is pretty damn clear…

Give me Eli Black!

A certain someone who owes me a favor (and I am keeping track!) pointed out to me that during my December Reader’s Choice poll, in which I asked readers to select the current rookie with the brightest potential for a hot homoerotic wrestling future, I made a major oversight in not including young Eli on the ballot. At that point, the only match we’d seen Eli in was in his stunning barnburner debut, matched surprisingly well against another former homoerotic wrestler of the month, Jake Jenkins. It was the sort of rookie debut that leaves me muttering at the screen, “Where’s this kid been wrestling!?” There’s no way in hell Eli Black stepped foot into the ring with hunky Jake as a literal rookie. It’s absolutely, 100% impossible, because despite eventually succumbing repeatedly to Jake’s spine snapping backbreakers, Eli has smooth skills and a hot, aggressive presence in the ring that true rookies are hard pressed to pull off.

The match that makes me anoint Eli reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month is January’s hot, hot, HOT feature in which Eli says “Pryvet” and “Dasvidania” to the baby Drago import named Alexi (aren’t they all?) Ivanov.  Alexi is a post-iron curtain version of Drago, though. The Russian grins like the Cheshire cat when Eli starts things off with a smirk. “Let’s put those Russian muscles to the test then, newboy.”

Eli unleashes an All American can of whoop ass on the tanned, toned Russian Dream. After 5 minutes of failing to launch a shred of offense, Alexi has got to seriously be reconsidering his designs on conquering America. Eli works the big boy like pumping the pedals of a player piano. He maintains the pressure and the pace like he’s been swatting down Russian muscle boys for decades. Slams and suplexes, leg drops, elbow drops, and splashes off the rope… and speaking of ropes, Eli plants his boot right in the Russian’s luscious ass and uses the top rope to add that much more leverage on a shoulder-snapping standing surfboard that displays Alexi’s gorgeous, ripped body to perfection. Either Eli’s got some extensive wrestling background to explain this exquisite workmanship, or he’s nothing short of a child prodigy!

For my tastes, what transforms an arousing wrestling match into a homoerotic wrestling gem is the storytelling. Sliced beef Eli slams down the cocky banter every bit as satisfyingly as he slams down the big Russian stud. Hopping up from yet another splash down on Alexi, Eli takes a quick lap around his opponent with his hands on his hips to catch his breath. “Ah man! The only reason I’m getting tired right now is because I’m whooping your ass! Where’s the fight!? Come on, Russian boy!!!”  When Alexi’s long, strong body is twisted in an agonizing bow and arrow, Eli growls, “Yeah, all your muscles and there ain’t nothing special about you, man!”  “Lucky your girlfriend’s not here,” Eli taunts him, “you’d be ashamed to have her see this!”

Alexi eventually makes Eli pay up just a bit. All that hard, lean conditioning of Eli’s comes in handy as he takes some pounding and manhandling from the Russian Dream. It’s relatively short-lived, however, as Eli demonstrates that speed and cunning can be an awesome antidote to a 30 pound weight advantage and a nearly half a foot height advantage.  Eli covers every inch of the ring, taking his outmatched bigger opponent from corner to corner to corner to corner.

And it’s most certainly not as if Alexi is “the muscles” in this match. Eli drags Alexi’s sorry, sweet ass up off the mat over and over, muscling him around, scooping him up and slamming him down like a machine. Eli may not sport the biggest muscles in the business, but he’s all solid muscle from head to toe, and he deploys them with an awesomely arousing awareness of all the uses a hot, hard body like his can be put to.

In action, it’s Eli’s relentless aggression and his pounding, juggernaut pacing that tweaks my kink and makes him a favorite. In still frame, it’s Eli’s hot, hot athletic ass (I love it when he wipes his sweaty palms on his butt), and his eyebrows that send me into homoerotic fantasyland. Eyebrows!? Yes, eyebrows. When he’s ripping the Russian apart in a muscle feast bow and arrow, Eli’s eyebrows arch in concentrated fury. He looks like every evil genius from classic spy dramas, but this evil genius is a ripped, hard, gorgeous young homoerotic wrestling prodigy who makes me more than pleased to crown him my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month!

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month – Eli Black