I’m a few days late in taking the crown of homoerotic wrestler of the month off of the handsome brow of Dr. Austin Cooper and placing it on a new honoree. Perhaps I’ve been reluctant to move on from Austin-as-heel. Perhaps I’m afraid he’ll kick my ass. In any case, I’m stepping up to the plate today to peruse the new releases in homoerotic wrestling published in the month of May to pick one wrestler who grabbed me hardest. Without further ado, the new reigning neverland homoerotic wrestler of the month is…
I’ve been attentive to Chace’s career since I first saw him team up with long-time favorite Lon Dumont over at BG East in Tag Team Torture 12. Chace is nothing… nothing like he was in those early days of his career. For one thing, he’s added another 50% of bodyweight, at least 20% of which is contained in his gargantuan pecs. I used to refer to Chace as a go-go boy, but these days he looks like he swallowed a go-go boy as an appetizer. Over the years he’s grown increasingly illustrated, with ink now extending almost the length of his mammoth right arm. And here in his Hairy He Men match at Muscle Domination Wrestling, he’s put down the razor and let the hair grow on this gorgeous pecs and abdomen. Muscleboy. Ink. Fur. Heel?! I’m just referring to him as Chace “Made to Order” LaChance now!
A word about his opponent. There are moments when I just want to pinch adorable Tony Law’s cheeks. Such is the case when he opens this match by flexing and announcing, “I think I have the best physique in the house. And I want anyone to come challenge that right now!” It’s clear that Tony knows what’s coming from the way he bites his lower lip. He knows he’s full of shit. And he knows he’s about to get pummeled by the mountainous, mouthwatering muscles of Chace LaChance. Everyone. EVERYONE at MDW has beat Tony’s sweet ass, of course. But damn it all if I don’t find myself wishing that the epic farmboy jobber learned a lesson or two and earned some respect along the way. However, it’s not today, my friends. Not today.
The boys slap down their proverbial dicks when Chace calls attention to what I find most eye catching and provocative about his appearance: his awesome coat of hair across his torso. He refers to Tony’s modest patch of upper chest hair as “pussy fuzz” in comparison. “Outrageous!” Tony snarls, his masculinity insulted.
“Outrageously great, I understand,” cocky Chace flexes his mammoth bicep in Tony’s face. Tony seems most intent on proving that he can defy the odds in one test of strength after another. Chace smirks and chuckles each time they lock up and the behemoth swats Tony away like a horsefly. He peppers the story throughout with both physical and emotional attacks, regularly calling attention to Tony’s baby smooth body and suggesting an inherent inferiority in comparison to Chace’s manliness.
There’s so much about Chace’s physique to commend him to this month’s title, but in addition to the aforementioned awesome pecs, biceps, and abs, that massive slab of beef that is his muscled ass is breathtaking. And those gargantuan, hairy legs! Holy crap, what a specimen! Muscleboy wannabe Tony absolutely shrinks in comparison, and when Chace locks those telephone pole thighs around him, Tony wriggles like a helpless fish on the line.
The camera work in Hairy He Men is either too avant garde for me, or else it’s just a bit “off.” There’s a ton of focus on suffering Tony, but weirdly, epically hot Chace is frequently partially cut out of the frame. Perhaps it’s intended to emphasize how huge he is (as in, he’s so big our camera can’t quite capture him all at once!). And of course there are those for whom the turn on is precisely watching Tony’s face turn beet red and twisted in agony, so shortchanging a look at Chace is fine. As someone who tends toward infatuation with the pitcher, however, I’m a bit frustrated for the lack of lingering looks at devastatingly hot Chace.
I’ve been critical of MDW for shortchanging the wrestling in their wrestling matches, as they sometimes tend to favor the drama, domination, and muscle torture more. Chace brings a sweet focus on the kink I love, however. His go-to is, curiously, a sort-of bow and arrow that I swear has got to have added inches to the length of Tony’s right leg and right arm. Mammoth, hairy bear bearhugs and back and gut abuse maintain a pleasing pace in the combat. However, I feel compelled to point out a familiar refrain in my reviews of MDW: this is a total, complete, unadulterated squash. Those left yawning at one-way streets will likely not be provoked by this as much as I am. I think MDW still has more to learn in taping homoerotic wrestling that tells the compelling story of competition that teeters on the edge, of battles that are nuanced and suspenseful.
There’s no suspense in Hairy He Men. Chace is THE Hairy He Man this day. Tony Law is ground into dust. Chace LaChance is sexier than I think I’ve ever seen him. And in the field of new releases in May, it’s Chace who grabs not only Tony, but me as well, in claiming the title of never land’s homoerotic wrestler of the month.
Who are you dressing up as for Halloween? I thought long and hard about it, and I decided to shave my head, put on a sneer, and wear ass-kicking boots, blue jeans, a black shirt. That’s right, for Halloween, I’m going as…
…Kid Vicious. Sure, nobody at the party will get it. But in the spirit of Kid Vicious, what the fuck do I care? I’ll just sneer and look threatening. Good times guaranteed. Here are some other homoerotic wrestler inspired Halloween characters you might consider.
There’s a new superhero in town, and he’s Damien Rush! The new “Super Stud,” who accepted the mantle from retiring Super Stud, Kevin, has only about a 7-second cameo in the opening chapter of Muscle Domination Wrestling’s new serial production, Super Men, but it’s a potent 7-seconds. Damien’s awakened by the sound of the alarm calling him to get out of bed and suit up. We see his hot, hairy pecs, and then just a glimpse of his sweet ass before it’s encased in spandex. But Super Stud v. 2.0 must wait for another day, because this introductory chapter to MDW’s Super Men has other fish to fry.
The original Super Stud, now retired, is Kevin. An awestruck and somewhat lustfully admiring ambush journalist catches Kev as he arrives at work one day for some backstory. Kevin explains that he literally passed the mantle to the new Super Stud in order to devote his full attention to his business interests around the world. “I have all your action figures!” the journalist behind the camera gushes like a true fan, “and your outfits!” Kev indulges the drooling fan with a brief, unscheduled interview, remarking on the extraterrestrial origins of his high tech super suit that he’s passed along to the new Super Stud. “Ooooo,” the journalist swoons a little at the description of the skin tight outfit, “that must be special leather! Mmmmmmm….”
Unbeknownst to Kevin, the devilish machinations of super villainy are at that very moment plotting to not only suck him back into the arena of supes, but to pervert his upstanding, straight as an arrow, moral high ground convictions and transform him into a new breed of unstoppable super villain. The masked villain with the plan is cruel and manipulative. He can stop time and bend a mortal’s will with nothing but his super mind. He’s taken another superhero’s girlfriend hostage, and uses her to force muscle bulging Captain Twink to lure Kevin into his trap. Sure, it’s a little complicated, but establishing backstory for an audience craving homoerotic wrestling action is always a thankless task. Trust me.
Unfortunately for the masked villain, his plan goes awry the moment he slips Kevin some alpha-catalyst. Kevin does, indeed, lose control of his power and emerge in a black and silver negative image of his superhero suit. He is, indeed, filled with a lust to destroy all forces of good. However, he isn’t in any mood to share the conquest, and his first crushing blow is delivered to the villain who brought this monster to life in the first place.
But the homoerotic wrestling scenario is really all about this new Super Heel practicing the art of destruction on hapless, helpless, lusciously vulnerable muscleman, Captain Twink. Regular fans of MDW will recognize the actor immediately. He’s been bashed and battered over and over by MDW’s stable of heels for seasons on end now. But holy shit in the bathwater, that luscious bubble butt and massive crotch package he’s smuggling have never looked as mouthwatering as when they’re suction-packed inside metallic blue spandex!
The wrestling is nothing but an unmitigated squash from start to finish. Captain Twink never lays a hand on the Super Heel. Kev instantly makes it his mission to rip the Cap’n’s spandex supersuit from his hot body (thus instantly owning me as a Super Heel fan). The boys sell high impact crushing, stomping, and especially the throwing with considerably more skill than they deliver their lines. Not hating here, just observing that no one, with the possible exception of Damien, is going to be nominated for an Oscar for their performances thus far in Super Men. But this will not be news to the MDW boys, so I’m not too worried about hurting their feelings.
What MDW continues to perfect is the wholesale, all-in, ruthlessly earnest sell, and they bring that spirit to Super Men with a vengeance. They have a reason (other than to titillate) for Super Heel to slowly, but surely, rip the spandex off of Captain Twink’s suffering body. And suffering, the Cap’n does! Screams, wails, dips into and out of consciousness, Captain Twink is the epitome of gorgeous, muscled power crushed and made completely impotent. He’s broken, bloodied, and left for dead before Super Heel is quite done, but the final stroke is the Cap’n’s unmasking, with a flexing, crowing, infinitely monologuing Super Heel promising to both kill Captain Twink’s sister and systematically destroy and unmask all of the remaining superheroes left in the world.
Kevin and the MDW boys are having some fun, and it shows, and it’s delightful to watch. There’s a promise of a through-story. There’s a full on commitment to a narrative. And there’s rip-n-strip muscle squash wrestling. I’ve long argued for more through-stories in homoerotic wrestling, and I’m pleased as punch to see MDW take up the challenge and bring their sickly creative imaginations to the drawing board. Don’t be too hard on them for production quality or acting chops, because, as far as I know, these aren’t Julliard trained thespians. They’re hunky, handsome, ripped homoerotic wrestlers who like to tickle fans’ sensitive spots, tweak both our kinks and our craving for novelty, and deliver enthusiastically packaged homoerotic wrestling drama.
Now, when Super Heel starts to peel his vanquished foes’ spandex right off all their bulges, then those awards are going to start pouring in, I promise you!
Bard: Thanks for making time to chat with me today, Morgan. You seem like a busy guy. I’m seeing you in a lot of wrestling products!
Morgan: Yeah, been a busy a few weeks orienting new talent filming seasons 5 and 6 at MDW, as well as work on a superhero season, and of course I have spent a fair amountof time down at BGE.
Bard: You all are already producing season 6!? Season 5 just came out! Damn, you are busy! I’ve been seriously enjoying some of that new talent MDW has been getting their hands on lately. Tidus, Rodriguez, beefy boys in need of getting a beatdown. What do you do to “orient” fresh meat?
Morgan: Glad you like the new boys. These guys did not need much of a training session; they got in the ring ready to wrestle! Rodriguez in particular is going to be a damn fine talent. When a new guy comes in, though, the procedure is to have them spend time watching myself or Muscle Master Kevin wrestle a couple of matches so there are noquestions as to what is off limits. [laughing] All reservations quickly fly out the window using this method. Once they feel comfortable in that regard we set ’em loose.
Bard: Voyeur first, then climb in and go at it? I like it. I like it a lot. I want to ask you more about other wrestlers and about the companies you’ve wrestled for, but first let me ask more about Morgan the Mastodon Cruise. It seems to me like you’ve gone from a rookie to a seasoned heel in the blink of an eye. To what do you owe your success as a terrifying force ofdestruction in the homoerotic wrestling universe?
Morgan: I take full credit for in my in ring prowess! [laughing] But in all seriousness, I have been a wrestling fan for as long as I can remember, and when I got to BG East for the first timeit was like a dream. I learned a lot from my first match with Lon Dumont – it was kind of like, “Oh, this is what I am going to be doing? Hell, yeah!”
Bard: That was a monumental match with Lon. I’m a huge, huge, huge fan of his, and I go back to that match often. I had a strong feeling even then that with a little “orienting” from an indy pro veteran like Lon, you were going to be a force to be reckoned with. What would you say is the most devastating hold in your arsenal at this point in your career?
Morgan: Interesting, well that match was all about the bearhug; I bearhugged Lon; he bearhugged me; and I definitely have to put that one high up on the list. But as far as my most devastating hold, the torture rack has to take the cake
Bard: Fuck. Yes. Hoist an opponent up across those big broad shoulders of yours and make them scream. I’ll be in the front row every time. I know what a move like that does for me as I watch you completely dominate a sorry bastard totally off his feet and under your control. What’s the experience like for you?
Morgan: I am always surprised at how easy it is to throw an opponent up there and secure them by their neck and balls. Once they are on my shoulders and I am cranking down, they have no choice but to submit. It is the perfect chance to run my mouth, make them say whatever I want. It is complete control.
Bard: Complete control. That’s what it looks like on this end, too. I hope you don’t mind if I ask about your body, because I’d swear it’s straight out of some of my fondest erotic fantasies from watching old school 1980’s pro wrestling on television. Big, solid muscles, unapologetically hairy, liberally dowsed in sweat, built for function. How would you describe your physique?
Morgan: I am THE hairy he-man. When my opponent comes to the ring and sees me standing across from them, they know what’s going down. My chest is the kryptonite of all men. When I wrestle, I sweat all over guys – always was a heavy perspirer. My bi’s are built tall and peaked; my back is the thickest out of any other wrestler; and I am secretly extremely athletic. Obviously you are not going to see me doing any dop-kicks or high flying moves, much too methodical for that, but letting everyone know now that I can bust any move out. I was built to wrestle.
Bard: Built to wrestle. Excellent summary, and I can’t agree more. So tell me some numbers, because I get off on numbers. What’s your height and weight right now?
Morgan: I’m 5’8, 175 pounds – had been dealing with a shoulder injury and was forced to lean out for quite some time, but now finally am back to my usual bulky self and packing on more muscle than ever.
Bard: How big are those mountainous peaks you call your upper arms?
Morgan: Last I measured, they were in the realm of 18.
Bard: Sweet. How far does the tape measure have to go to get around your pecs and that thickest-of-all-upper-backs?
Morgan: [Laughing] Have not taken that measurement, but let me just say I have ripped a few shirts on the way on and off.
Bard: Damn, you need to get Kevin to grab that measurement… and send me a photo of him doing it. Waist?
Morgan: [Laughing] Good luck getting that photo. The boss is a busy man. My waist is 28 inches.
Bard: Thighs (including copious hair)?
Morgan: Measuring now…
Bard: Damn, I wish I were there to lend a hand with that….
Morgan: You are not the first. 26 inches.
Bard: But I promise, I’d be the best. Fantastic. No wonder opponent’s are weeping when you get those tree trunks wrapped around them. So in the “real” world, when guys are hittingon you, ’cause I know guys are hitting on you all the time, what’s the first compliment they’re giving you to start flirting?
Morgan: They try and guess the color of my eyes – first they say grey, then green, sometimes blue, ultimately concluding they are hazel. Either way it has always been my gaze that draws people in that is invariably where they start – then the bicep compliments start.
Bard: I could totally see that, though if you had your shirt unbuttoned, I’d have to make a comment about those hot hairy pecs. Coincidentally, I put “hazel” as my eye color on my driver’s license, just because no one can tell me a better description for my eye color, either. So back to wrestling, I’m of the opinion that you’ve moved the bar wherever you’ve wrestled. For example, at BG East, you’ve done some amazing work blending old school pro wrestling style with incredibly sexy, trunks off eroticism. And at Muscle Domination Wrestling, it seems to me you’ve been on the envelope pushing the explicit, full-frontal homoerotic combat angle. Do you think of yourself as a trailblazer?
Morgan: I ama stickler for wrestling logic. That is where the old school style comes in. If a move in a sequence is out of place it really bothers me. I religiously watch back all my matches to fill in the gaps, always thinking about what I could have done here or there. I own a very raw wrestling style which goes hand in hand with baring skin. My main objective at MDW was to incorporate skillful wrestling within the sub-dom framework. Originally Muscle Domination Wrestling utilized wrestling as a medium to explore different facets of domination. My job is bringing the product to a level where wrestling assumes its natural artful position while MDW expands its vision for alpha male conquest. Season 5marks the first huge strides towards this goal.
Bard: I’m thrilled to hear about that continuing evolution at MDW. And I like the word “raw” for your wrestling style. It’s raw, hardcore, in your face wrestling without losing an ounce of respect for the art and science of it. And I’m here to confess that watching you pound the shit out of some pretty, pretty boy turns me on… a lot. Is wrestling a turn on for you?
Morgan: Turn on, fulfillment, gratification… all those words are appropriate.
Bard: Nice to know that it works that way on your end. Speaking of you pounding the shit out of pretty boys, name some names for me. Do you have a favorite match so far in your career?
Morgan: Ah, always a tough question, picking my favorite, but to name a couple… One from BGE, one from MDW. I loved wrestling Diego Diaz. He was a really naturally talented guy. We had a great back and forth before I crushed my way to victory. Chemistry is just one of those things – until you are in the ring working off one another you just never know how a match will turn out, but right when we started and he responded to my shit-talk I knew we would have a good scrap. As for MDW, it has given me many chances to wrestle Tony Law. Myfirst filmed match with him was also at BGE, but since then we have faced each other more times than I can count, so we work very well together – no punches pulled, just intense grit. The most recent match we had was a celebration of our “rivalry,” the culmination of our many bouts – Tony’s final chance to get one over on a 60 minute straight-through Iron Man match. We filmed it all in one shot, non-stop action, and boy did it get sweaty – my favorite match from the new season 5 for sure.
Bard: Again, I’m a big fan of big, big, big Diego Diaz, and that chemistry you describe definitely comes through when watching that match. And I’m not surprised to hear Tony Law’s name pop up. By the law of averages, since you’ve beaten him so many times, it makes sense one of those times might be on your favorites list. I’ve seen your match with Tonyover at BG East, and again, the word “raw” comes to mind. The match description for this Iron Man match for MDW’s season 5 makes it sound as if Tony may have finally turned the tables on you this time around, which I for one find hard to believe. Anything more you can say about Iron Man and how you left Tony’s meaty ass when the 60 minutes were up?
Morgan: Well, the Iron Man contest allows for multiple pins and submissions (not that any heel is going to stop at the first tap out anyway), so I will say that Tony had a lot of chance to make up for lost time. The man that walks away with the most victories at the hour’s end is declared the ultimate winner of the contest, so either we exchanged a few wins in a closely contested bout, or I kicked his ass for an hour straight, but you will have to watch it to find out.
Bard: Nicely teased. Damien Rush is another hot stud you’ve brutalized over and over from MDW to BG East and back again. The level of brutality and humiliation you’ve dragged him through is an astonishing body of work all on it’s own. I’ve got to hand it to the handsome hunk that he’s got some serious nerve climbing back into the ring again and again with you. You look like you could just about eat him for lunch, but I wonder if, at the end of the day, you walk away with respect for even the mewling, weeping opponents you leave crushed in the ring behind you, like hot hunk Damien.
Morgan: Damien is a hot-headed talent, and I do respect him, but at the end of the day I have job to do and that is putting everyone in their proper place beneath me the one true wrestling god. Now, if Mr. Rush wanted to admit that I am and always will be better than him in every way and wanted to form a tag team with me then I could really respect him.
Bard: Message sounds loud and clear to me. By the way, if you find yourself ripping Mr. Rush’s sweat-soaked trunks off his hot bod again, keep me in mind. I’ve got a trophy case with a spot reserved. Your most recent release for BG East featured you taking on both Christian Taylor and his notorious jobber boyfriend, Skip Vance at the same time in Tag Team Torture 16. I’ve only seen previews of the match so far, but it looks like you fucking own the both of them in body and soul. A boyfriend tag team beatdown is a long-standing pet erotic fantasy of mine. What was it like for you to not just work over another pretty boy like Christian, but to crush him in front of his anguished lover and then humiliate the both of them at the same time?
Morgan: Let me first say if you want Damien’s trunks you will have to peel them off his throat, but it is fine by me. Someone needs to do him the favor after my many mean encounters with him. Boyfriend Beatdown was exhilarating. While I owned Christian in the ring, Skip cheers on moral support from the much safer exterior of the ring. For the first time I was able to bash one hunk while taunting another. My game plan was of course to get both in the ring at once because obviously alone they are both squash material. Skip and I went back and forth for a good while before I got underneath his skin playing with his boyfriend in whichever way I wanted. Christian was no match for me and failed to save any face even with his boyfriend there cheering him on. I felt badly for him so it was only natural to provoke skip so his boyfriend could see that no one stands a chance against the Mastodon. Squashing both together was like playing god I was the ruler of their relationship; I was the master of all things private to them, it was Morgan Cruise who determined when and where they kissed along with other things.
Bard: Holy shit, that’s hot. That match is officially next on my BG East order form. So here are a few stream of consciousness questions for you. Don’t think too long… just answer what comes first into your head. Okay?
Bard: Steak or seafood?
Bard: Boxers or briefs?
Bard: [Laughing] Perfect. Legs or chest?
Bard: Scissor or bearhug?
Bard: Top or bottom?
Bard: Of course. Country or rock?
Bard: Nice. So you’ve got a lot of fans, I’m sure you know. Watching you in the ring, however, you seem completely focused, like you don’t give a shit about anyone else, what anyone else thinks or wants. What do you make of the legions of Mastodon fans out there who can’t get enough of the magic that you make in the wrestling ring?
Morgan: The truth is that my namesake the Mastodon went extinct, but I am the perfect breed – an ever-evolving specimen, and that means listening to feedback and taking direction and criticism. I keep in close contact with my die hard fans, and they tell me what they like and what they do not. Luckily there is very little to not like. When I am in the ring I tap into the primal force that is the Mastodon, and everything else dissolves. My focus becomes how I want to break my opponent down and how to do it with precise logic and incomparable style.
Bard: Good to hear. You are a crowd pleaser, it’s impossible to deny. What’s something that Mastodon fans don’t know about you that they should?
Morgan: I am very quiet outside the ring. [Laughing] I hardly speak. I meticulously dissect the way in which others communicate so that I never misunderstand anyone. Everyone has a different method or nuance to the way in whcih they articulate the idea they want to get across, so attention to detail is key. As a result, I do not own a cell phone. I heavily prefer direct contact
Bard: Fascinating… and suddenly I’m second guessing what I’ve said this whole interview. Just a couple more questions for you. Is there any particular wrestler currently competing that you haven’t wrestled yet that needs to trampled by the Mastodon?
Bard: Holy hell, yes! I’d pay for a front row seat for that one! Hell, the image of all of those muscles locked with muscles is making me a little dizzy right now. Speaking of muscles, if you found yourself climbing into the ring again with Lon Dumont, with considerably more experience and practice under your belt now than when you first wrestled, do you think things would turn out differently this time around?
Morgan: I have been waiting for that question. He can come to MDW, or we can meet back up in the BG East ring any time, any place. I am there. This time around, you can bet your “firstborn,” The Mastodon is walking away victorious.
Bard: Sweet. I’m hoping to sit down for face-to-face interview with Mr. Muscles in the not-too-distant future, so I’ll be sure to let him know. You’ve been a delight to chat with, Morgan, and for someone who typically hardly speaks outside the ring, you’ve been an awesome conversationalist. Is there any last word you’d like to pass along to Mastodon fans out there before I let you go?
Morgan: The Mastodon is watching over the works at MDW, and would like to encourage my fans to check Muscle Domination Wrestling out as I am making sure my in-ring work extends beyond my own matches. The landscape has changed, and the wrestling has come to the forefront. And thank you for the interview it was a pleasure to have this experience. I have learned a good few things from your blog. And do be sure to let good old Lonny Dumont that he can come to me, or I am coming for him [laughing].
Bard: You are a one of a kind, hot, sweaty, raw, old school mass of muscle wrestler, and I cannot wait to catch up on your newest releases now, and to check out the evolving landscape at MDW. I hope we can chat again sometime, perhaps after I can get Lon back on the record. Thanks again, Morgan. You’re awesome!
Morgan Cruise – 5’8″, 170 pounds – eyes on the prize
Morgan Cruise hit the ground running when he first arrived at BG East. Unfortunately for Morgan, he ran straight into a wall of competition grade granite by the name of one of my long time favorites, Lon Dumont. One the one hand, Morgan is never subtle. Reports are that he showed up at BGE with his gaze fixed on becoming one of the greatest heels of all time. The Boss put him in the ring with Lon Dumont who looks as though he’s a beautiful, bronze, shaved lightweight gym bunny ripe for a rising heel picking. Morgan quickly discovered in Rookie Wreckers that looks can be deceiving. Lon spent more than a decade in professional wrestling rings in independent productions, typically being a notorious badass and all around champion heel. With infinite (and incredibly sexy) patience, Lon taught Morgan just a taste of all he had yet to learn if he were ever to realize his dream of competing as a legitimate heel.
I’d give my firstborn to trade place with Morgan right here!
Regular readers will be unsurprised when I say that as delightfully as Morgan suffered, I had a majorly tough time ripping my eyes off of g-g-gorgeous Lon! Good god that man grabs me like few others! I do remember that Morgan sweat like a dirty pig (hot, hot, hot!) and showed some sweet, lustful delight in putting in a respectable power offense for just a bit of the bout. Sure, I could picture this hot, hairy kid growing up and becoming a sexy heel someday. But I get the impression that “someday” is not in the Mastodon’s vocabulary. And I had no idea that the boy with an 80’s mainstream pro wrestling muscle body was also an extremely quick study.
Morgan’s passed his heel-in-training qualifying exam all over Eli Black’s bashed body
By the time he climbed back in the ring with 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month, ripped gladiator Eli Black for Gut Bash 9, Morgan had not only learned his lessons, he’d mastered them, improvised on them, and showed true genius in both beating Eli to a pulp and showing off Eli’s phenomenal physique like a savant! Against Eli, Morgan was dominant, brutal, and provocatively sexy as hell!
Morgan is THRILLED to deliver naked backbreaking bashing all over Demian Rush!
So I altered my picture of how Morgan might fit in the homoerotic wrestling universe. Clearly, we wouldn’t have to wait around for him to grow into a sexy heel. He’s still so young, but fuck all if there’s not an old, vicious, soul-crushing heel living in that beast of a body! So I figured we’d see Morgan hit the muscle taming circuit for a while, perfecting his craft, playing up the eroticism of trunks-on wrestling for gay eyes. But for his next appearance, he climbed into the ring with trust-fund baby muscleboy Damien Rush (upon whom I had an instant, blinding crush), and proceeded to strip the gorgeous rookie naked and deliver a muscle pounding in the buff.
Flexing naked over his crushed opponent, Morgan is THE MAN!
Good god, man! Strip Stakes 3 transported me back over a decade, reminding me of the thrill of watching the likes of the Brooklyn Bodywrecker toy with, delight in, and ultimately get off all over another frat boy. I’m not exaggerating here. Morgan pulled out nearly all the stops and I swear, as far as I’m concerned, he joined the ranks of the seriously hot heels. Sweating every bit as much as before, totally naked and furry all over, Morgan is about 10 times more handsome and 100 times more worship worthy once the gear is off and he sticks around to deliver extra credit punishing humiliation.
Morgan stretches Diego Diaz long, long body to it’s gorgeous limits
So it makes complete sense that he skyrocketed to his own Wrestler Spotlight last month after only 3 matches to his name. Morgan’s Spotlight is one erotic epiphany after another. He starts off manhandling the long, tall drink of water Diego Diaz who has an eye on Morgan’s championship belt. What’s he champion of? Who the fuck cares?! Diego wants to see that belt buckled around his own six-pack beauty. I LOVE the look of Diego. I love his insanely long limbs, sculpted torso, handsome face, bushy hair and sexy, deep, accented voice. When he delivers some early punishment and a first shocking submission on Morgan to grab the belt and admire himself with it in the mirror, I admit I found the drama extremely compelling. I hope for big, big things from that big, big sexy man. But seeing Morgan hammer, slam, and beat the living shit of him all over and outside the ring is a thing of profound beauty. He stretches every incredibly long inch of Diego and then serves him up for us like a mouthwatering turkey dinner. Awesome. Simply awesome.
No shit! Pec claw push-ups on rookie muscle farmboy, Tony Law.
I have no idea where Tony Law has been hiding, but I’m extremely pleased that he’s shown his big, beefy, farm boy body in the BG East ring, and even happier that he debuted his luscious muscles and rocking ass against the rolling stone of Morgan Cruise! I’ve since learned that this is not the first time Morgan and Tony have wrestled (more on that later), which may explain that frightening lack of all humanity in Morgan’s absolute destruction, obliteration even, of the blond babyface with tree trunk thighs. For Tony’s sake, I hope he knew just how vicious the Mastodon could be, because this is a marathon shit kicking session!
Morgan looks ready to orgasm, riding muscle hunk Chace like a broken bronco
And speaking of marathons, in the finale to Morgan’s Wrestler Spotlight, he and Chace LaChance version 2.0 go at it so long you’d better pack a lunch and plenty of fluids! I still think Chace needs to face Lon Dumont in the ring, because it’s my armchair opinion that the tweezed pretty boy cost the two of them a humiliating tag team defeat in Tag Team Torture 12. Perhaps Chace’s newfound prime beef is in anticipation of his date with destiny in facing bodybuilding champion Lon (I can hope!). In the mean time, Chace pulls of some impressive offense against the rising tide of Morgan’s heel aspirations. But at this point, Morgan is just unstoppable. He’s also incredibly entertaining to watch along his journey to cement himself as not only on the list of sexy heels, but climbing those rankings. When he’s got that lustful, dreamy look in his eyes, clearly huffing on the scent of humiliation dripping off of a withering opponent, he’s a true wonder! Any bitches even dare to suggest that he needs to shave or manscape more aggressively just sit right back down. Morgan is transported directly off of nationally televised professional wrestling badassness from exactly 27 years ago today, and hairy legs, pecs, pits, and pubes are 100% Morgan Cruise sexy heel fantastic!
Master Kevin and Morgan flex off
Others already knew Morgan from before he knocked on the door in Pembroke, from his self-promotion campaign as a teen bodybuilder to be worshipped on YouTube. I’ve since also discovered that his frequent competition for teen muscle worship fanatics, Chaoserver aka Master Kevin has since teamed up with Morgan (and Damien Rush and Tony Law!) to produce some sexy west coast independent wrestling of their own. More to come on this front soon, but I get the impression that perhaps the Mastodon may need a new nickname. Something like Hurricane Morgan. Because he’s nothing short of a terrifying, unstoppable force of nature these days!