Despite my explicit preference for homoerotic wrestling fare with an element of competitive suspense about it, I’ve been finding myself watching, and enjoying, quite a number of one-sided matches lately. The “squash” is a particular subgenre that I can enjoy, but, like I’ve said, I tend to prefer to see more give and take, more narrative suspense. So it’s interesting to find myself sitting in front of a whole lot of lopsided squashes. Sampling more than my typical diet of them, I’ve been reflecting on what almost always does work for me in a squash, what can but doesn’t always work, and what almost never works for me in a squash.
First, what almost always works for me is seeing a dominant pitcher deeply delighted by the feel of mastering his opponent. This is what I’m talking about when I prattle on about “owning,” when one wrestler doesn’t just beat the other, doesn’t just make him tap out or submit, but takes visceral pleasure in controlling an outmatched contender. Obviously, the absence of this element can make a squash a bore for me. The squash where the dominant stud seems thoroughly dismissive, so out of his opponent’s league that he can barely be bothered to pay attention to the suffering he’s causing, tends to disappoint me. I’ll feast for days off of a viscious, dominant heel who obliterates an opponent in a landslide and convinces me, one way or another, that he could very well need to rub one out soon before or soon after the camera’s are turned off, because he’s just too damned turned on. Frankly, this doesn’t even need to be entirely about sexual tension. I’m less interested in whether the winner wants to fuck his opponent’s ass in victory than I am in whether the experience of conquering, controlling, and possessing an outmatched opponent in and of itself seems capable of giving the winner erotic pleasure. Whether he cums all over the catcher’s face on camera, or just leaves me believing that he needs a little “alone time” in the locker room to pound one out on his own, I’m buying it, if he’s selling it.
Kid Vicious owns opponents just right, every time.
A lot of examples come to mind. Most of Kid Vicious’ catalog falls neatly into this category. If KV doesn’t bust a load all over a lamb-to-the-slaughter opponent, I feel 99% certainty that he took care of it soon afterward. He always looks to me like he’s mentally getting off on destroying an opponent (the prettier, the harder). Kid Karisma taps this consistently as well. His recent Undagear 23 match with reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month Marco Carlow is a perfect example. Kid K looks like he’s eating this squash up with a spoon, and when he rips Marco’s gear off, poses overtop of his fallen prey, and beats a hasty retreat from the mat room, I’m convinced it’s not just a hasty retreat he’s about to beat. Jake Jenkins muscle mauling of it-boy Kip Sorrell in Backyard Brawls 8 is another specific example. I think of JJ as one of the most G-rated wrestlers on the scene, but his laughter, his luxuriating in Kip’s total destruction beneath him leads me to write the off camera script that has JJ needing a moment to himself to celebrate beating the living fuck out of that ridiculously pretty pin-up boy.
Kid Karisma glistens with delight as he crushes Marco’s every luscious muscle.
There are other elements of a squash that can, but don’t always, work for me. A predator who plays with his food, for example, can sometimes turn me on, other times no. I’ve written my appreciation for trash talking taunts in the wrestling ring for ages, but in a squash, withering derision can seem more like dickishness than homoerotic tension. Personally, I find taunts more erotically provocative when the battle is close, when there’s suspense as to whose brash boasts will be born out as true, and who will be humiliated in regrets for winding up his betters with checks he couldn’t cash. In a squash, taunting trash talk and verbal humiliation are tricky for me. Sometimes I’m stoked hotter. Somtimes not. Cathweight squash scenarios also can go either way for me. When the opponents are so clearly, ridiculously mismatched in size, a big-beats-little squash can sometimes work for me in a big way, but at other times leave me a little bored with what turns out to be the forgone conclusion. Competitive catchweight matches or, even, little-beats-big squashes typically float my boat big time, all else considered, but it’s a touchy thing if it’s a big-beats-little squash from the start.
Guido Genatto’s matches teeter back and forth with me around some of these coin toss elements. He won’t relent in physical or emotional abuse until an opponent is a pool of sweat and tears, sometimes just this side of the line for turning me on, sometimes just the other. For the big beats little squash dilemma, big Joe Robbins similarly sometimes comes up heads, sometimes tails.
Big Joe Robbins is a big-beats-little Catch Weight veteran.
Finally, it’s a little hard to put my finger on precisely the element that almost never works for me in a squash. I know it by how I feel, rather than by the specific content of the wrestling. When I’m left genuinely feeling sorry for the loser, when I have this impulse to call the principal’s office and report an incident of homophobic bullying in the halls, then I’m totally not on board. When it’s so one sided and the dominant stud is heaping on misogynistic insults, questioning the battered boy’s masculinity, then it touches a nerve that makes it hard to stay in the mood for. There’s a particular stripe of sadism that’s more sociopathic than homoerotic, that delights in inflicting suffering but seems more likely to end in the winner pissing on the loser than cumming across him. That schtick is not in my wheelhouse (no judgment implied, though if it is in yours).
Ethan beats Jayden in the first 3 minutes, then just taunts and tortures the pretty kid for 15 more.
My most recent experience with this is the third match in Undagear 23, in which Ethan Axel Andrews fucking brutalizes delicately gorgeous Jayden Mayne. I’m not just saying this because Jayden charmed the pants off me in his interview here late last year, selling the living fuck out of being an earnest, ambitious babyface on the rise (though that, he did). And fuck, Ethan’s turned my crank more times than I can count. But then there’s this crime scene that unfolds in Undagear 23. Ethan mauls Mr. Hollywood in such a way that I’m sort of hoping for someone on the camera crew to break this shit up. I’ve seen Ethan sell me over and over on his erotic delight in owning an opponent, but here, he just strikes me as a bully. He’s just mean, not because he’s getting off on it, or he cares if you’re getting off on it, or he secretely intends on stripping Jayden’s fine, fine ass bare and taking the spoils of victory with a Trojan on. He just comes across as enjoying hurting defenseless creatures, just because he can. Call PETA. There’s a sicko who enjoys torturing puppies!
Ethan just keeps fucking the kid over.
Now, I’m 100% certain that there are plenty of homoerotic wrestling fans for whom Ethan’s mugging of Jayden is pure gold. Jayden is genuinely outmatched and outclassed from start to finish, and there’s an undeniable beauty in his spoiled masculine innocence. I’m not suggesting that anyone else does or should feel about it the way I do. I’m just musing, in my own little corner of the internet, about this thing that can take me a little by surprise: a homoerotic wrestling match that simply, essentially, fails to push my buttons. Squashes are just like that for me.
I typically take the time around the 4th of July to point out my lack of patriotism. But this year feels different. I know that I’m not the only one who feels a little more like a proud American this 4th of July. Such a major, seismic shift on marriage equality certainly doesn’t protect everyone’s rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, of course. LGBT Americans can legally be fired, denied housing, harrassed by both public and private authorities in a whole lot of places in this country still. But access to marriage is pretty cool.
I’ve been fascinated to watch the strong and conflicting opinions the SCOTUS decision has sparked among my friends and colleagues, who, generally speaking, tend to pitch their tents in the same political camp. Straight people shamed for flying the rainbow flag. White gays shamed for celebrating marriage while people of color and trans folks are continuing to get fucked up and gunned down. Marriage advocates shamed for distracting us all from other problems like poverty and racism and gun violence and sexism.
I’ve got my own opinions, of course, but I have to say that I can’t help but be pleased that we’re talking a little more openly about a lot of things that ought to be complicated and unsettled. I confess a little thrill that bigots are feeling compelled to have to state their bigotry and try to rationalize it as something else, rather than just silently assuming that they’re the moral majority. And I really like that a lot of people I know who have long assumed that we all think alike are realizing that one particular decision or policy or issue that we all may endorse to some extent doesn’t erase the rich diversity of who we are, what we value, where our priorities lie, and how we think.
It’s not uncommon in homoerotic wrestling to see American flag wrestling trunks. This gear typically signals that the wearer is a babyface hero, handsome, virile, and virtuous. And in the homoerotic wrestling matches I watch, those guys get their stars and stripes clad asses handed to them 9 times out of 10. Not always, I know, but most of the time.
The hunks in American flag trunks most often embody a naivete, a simple minded faith in things like hard work, strength, and sincerity to tip the scales of wrestling competition and justice their way. Their virginal earnestness is saccharine sweet, a glossy glaze over the realities of the homoerotic wrestling ring where things aren’t always (or even often) fair. Their wide-eyed, muscle bulging innocence seems to make them blind to a world where cheating, unsportsmanlike behavior, and ferocious mercilessness more often than not spank the ass of righteous, rule-abiding reverence for an honest battle of strength and skill.
I don’t know if this trope still plays the same way in mainstream pro wrestling (because I haven’t watched mainstream pro wrestling in forever), but I think it’s a particularly engaging narrative for homoerotic wrestling audiences. We know that survival often goes not to the fittest, but the most cunning. We know that when the rules are stacked against you, sometimes the most appropriate response is to fuck the rules. We know that often our most important assets in the battle against those who revile and oppress us behind a veneer or virtue and righteous indignation is to turn the repulsion right back around on them, to throw what they despise most in their faces, to metaphorically grab them by the balls until their self-righteous, “hard earned” privilege and power melts into weeping, impotent, contemptible helplessness.
Because more often than not, it isn’t their righteousness that has propelled them forward in good fortune. It isn’t their hard work. They haven’t just wanted success more, as if their will power is superior to those who haven’t prospered and been rewarded as much. It’s just those fucking rules that have made the difference, that have been slowly (sometimes quickly) tipping the scales their way from the moment they were born, that have advantaged them not because they earned it or deserved it, but just because they were born into families with a particular hue and history, because they effortlessly found their affections drawn in the socially acceptable direction, because they had that silver spoon in their mouths all along. So, many of us with an eye for homoerotic wrestling have learned that it’s those fucking rules that are the problem, and watching a homoerotic wrestling heel fuck the rules and humiliate a stars and stripes clad goldenboy is deep down satisfying.
I’m sure there’s much more to the American flag jobber narrative than that, but what I’m left wondering this year is whether my new found investment in my citizenship, riding this wave of judicial victory and the turning tide of public opinion, may make me, and perhaps you, a little less cynical about the American flag. I’m sure it won’t happen anytime soon, but is there a place in homoerotic wrestling iconography somewhere down the road for a sneering, contemptuous, irrepressible heel decked out in stars and stripes? Might finding myself embracing a little patriotric pride for being welcomed a little more into the fold of mainstream America shift my tastes for enjoying the sight of the American flag, strapped to the ass of an classically hot pretty boy, trampled and trashed for the poor excuse for institutional oppression it has so long seemed to me to represent? May I want to see an American patriot savvy and sly, queer and cunning, as vicious and vile as necessary to pound… who?… into tantalizingly sexy mincemeat?
I had a birthday a couple of days ago. One more year older, one more year closer to perfection. Someone who knows of my infatuation with BG East classics and glimpses behind the scenes gifted me with a few pics I’ve never seen before featuring homoerotic wrestling hunks who have populated my erotic fantasies for nearly 2 decades. Now that’s a birthday present! Knowing the perfect surprise gift to give is surely the sign of a true friend. So climb into your way-back machine and vicariously enjoy my thrill when I received these hot, mostly candid pics of sizzlingly sexy wrestling titans of yesterday (and a couple, still of today!).
This shot of Ian, Sean, KV and KL sunning in the sand is instantly one of my most treasured possessions. Each of these hunks surely owns his own corner in the homoerotic wrestling hall of fame. I’m still torn as to whether Sean “the Kisser” Patrick or Christian Taylor deserves the lifetime achievement award for sexiest liplock. And gorgeous heel master Kid Vicious can pull my trigger absolutely any time. What’s with the Boss being the only one fully clothed here?
I need help identifying the bright-eyed babyface flexing his bicep under Brian Baxter’s chin. Seeing these classic hunks so obviously having fun together is so awesome. Brian Baxter’s marathon ring match with Kid Leopard, with fellow wrestlers off camera flinging taunts and catcalls, is one of the rawest, sexiest, personality-forward homoerotic wrestling matches ever.
Holy crap look at this reunion of pioneers of homoerotic wrestling hotness! The two silver foxes on the left in the back defy me, though I feel like I ought to be able to identify them. Shane McCall and an unmasked Cage Thunder are both classics and ongoing forces to be wrestled with in BG East new releases. Tommy Lopez! Tommy Lopez!!! Just a few months ago I was waxing nostalgic about this babyface wrestling rock star. And if you want to be brought to your knees hard, check out Tommy and Sailor Rob’s photo collection from their full frontal, pedal to the metal homoerotic wrestling match in BGE’s Arena Vintage section. And it’s great to see KL and Sailor Rob are still close after their cut throat, brutally humiliating title match documented in the Arena’s Vintage Photo Story.
My first glimpse of Drake Marcos was him sandwiched between Blaine Janus and Red Baron in a Kid Karisma photo.
It all started so swimmingly, when I first laid eyes on young Drake Marcos, prior to his on camera debut for BG East. He appeared in a mix of photos from Kid Karisma’s pics from a weekend of wrestling for BG East. I called out the then-unknown handsome stud; Drake reached out; I hit him up for an interview instantly; he repeatedly chided me during the interview for being too complimentary, too flattering, which was just not the case because I think the stud is devastatingly handsome. But somewhere, something went awry. Oh, let’s be honest, there was a very particular point at which Drake turned chilly toward me. It was when I was enjoying a threesome interview with both Drake and Mason Brooks, during which I commented that he has a fan following as a “sweet jobber.”
Inexplicably, Drake bristles at being called “a sweet jobber.”Drake promised there was a special “present” just for me under his tree.
Of course, I thought I was being deferential, complimentary, even, when I asked young Drake about being a rising fan favorite jobber at BG East. Clearly, that’s not the way my question was received, however, because the Cheshire Cat’s irrepressible smile disappeared in an instant and the earnest grappler bristled. His string of early career squashes aside, Drake promised that he was honing his craft and improving every day and every match, and I should be prepared to bank on the promissory note that he would cash in the day he scored his first, decisive match victory. Then, of course, Drake made another promise last Christmas, apparently still bristling (though with that dimpled grin back on his handsome face), when he told me he had “a present” under his tree particularly for me to open.
In the subsequent months, more words were exchanged. A rookie no longer, Drake continued to issue the vaguely threatening invitation to come on down and see the “present” he was dying to deliver to me as, apparently, his chief blogger and critic. Critic!? Me?! I’ve been fawning over his Fugelsang-esque hot looks from before I ever knew his name or saw him in square cuts. However, no amount of deference or flattery could sway young Drake’s intent on unwrapping for me some of what he perceives to be retribution for my flagrant audacity in lauding his jobber cred.
Honestly, I’m not sure the young stud quite knew what to say when I pointed out a while back that I would be in the vicinity of BG East’s south campus around the same time he would this fall. The jobber stuttered more than a little, but caught in a web of his own making, Drake eventually agreed that the time had come to set aside childish taunts and schoolyard threats and sort out just what it was he felt obliged to “deliver” with a real, live, hot blooded homoerotic wrestling blogger standing in front of him.
Uh-oh, Drake. Online taunts and threats won’t help you now.
My recent rendezvous with Drake Marcos marked what feels like my second pilgrimage to the holy sites of homoerotic wrestling. My first pilgrimage I documented about 3 years ago, when I had an opportunity to spend time in the Boston area and even scored myself an invitation to visit the Boss himself where so much magic has happened and continues to happen. Not nearly so perversely hotheaded or constitutionally delicate as his online persona, this pilgrimage to BG East’s Florida campus was hosted by a genuinely gracious Drake Marcos who devoted a ton of time and attention to showing me the holy sites while other BG East regulars all happened to be out of town.
How much hotness has set that pool boiling!?
Prior to opening their newest wrestling facilities in the area, many BG East Florida matches were filmed at a particularly picturesque, canal-side bungalow with a screened in pool and carefully kept gardens. The grounds themselves pulse with the echoes of so many beautiful BG East boys posing dockside.
Echoes of hot hunks sunning on the dock and wrestling in the backyard were everywhere.That dock.
I had a momentary impulse to lick the very palm tree that vicious Bobby Horton momentarily tied Mitch Colby to in Backyard Brawls 5, bashing the fitness model fantasyman like a tormented St. Sebastian, before Mitch turned that shit right back around and threw Bobby to the grass, flexing his hot, muscled, tanned body in the young hunk’s face.
Mitch Colby and Bobby Horton made the most of the landscape.So much hot BG East wrestling and domination have occurred here!Kid Vicious rocks Lobolito in the pool
We know the matches that have taken place in that pool and poolside, including this summer’s Wet & Wild 7 tourney which earned fiercely hot Trey Dixon July’s homoerotic wrestler of the month title here at neverland. Lobolito got the full-on Kid Vicious bash-rinse-repeat cycle in Wet & Wild 4, tortured with such an exquisite intensity in those same waters that I swear I could almost hear the screams of pain still echoing off the pool deck (seriously, has KV ever looked hotter than muscled up and dripping wet in that match!?).
So many sizzling matches have taken place on wrestling mats set up poolside, such as Kid Karisma dragging Christian Taylor’s lovely, long body in, then out of the pool in Wet & Wild 5, working Abercrombie-boy Christian over until both studs had to retire indoors for Kid K to savor the spoils of victory in air conditioning. I’ve spent so many hours watching footage from that screened in pool that it felt like I was cozying up in profoundly familiar surroundings.
I stood right here where Mitch & Derek tore each other up!The Cheshire Cat
And speaking of those indoors, I also got a long, lingering look at the sunroom, the site of a dizzyingly hot catalog of matches that are never far from the top of my cue. Right here’s where Mitch Colby and Derek da Silva, one of the hottest combinations in history, absolutely crushed one another’s balls until both were writhing in pools of sweat and ecstasy in Crotch Crushers 1. Here’s where Mitch also confronted the only wrestler to compete with him as the longest running title holder of my favorite homoerotic wrestler title, Rusty Stevens, leaving me apoplectic for weeks afterward with the sheer hotness of the score settling in Breaking Point. BG East fans will be unsurprised to hear me say that the sunroom is tight quarters. Most every sunroom match I’ve seen has involved catching inadvertent glimpses of the film crew reflected in the wall of mirrors on one end. There’s an architectural intimacy that I think explains why just about any pairing of hardbodied hunks there has an extra hit of sexual tension.
Drake was ridiculously charming, solicitous even as we toured the place. I was beginning to think the young buck’s bluster and ballyhoo online was thinly veiling a genuinely sweethearted gentleman. He was kind and attentive, anticipating my questions and interests, playing a gracious host and placing my need to reverentially soak in the setting of so many homoerotic wrestling fantasies deliberately and lingeringly at the forefront of his priorities. In other words, it wasn’t long before I was convinced all over again that young Drake Marcos was, indeed, a dyed-in-the-wool, hardwired, cradle-to-grave jobber, through and through. However, when the tour continued on to the newest BG East facilities not far away, I started to suspect that there may, indeed, be more to this adorably dimpled Cheshire Cat.
I’m close to being able to die a happy man, because not only did Shane McCall drop me a note to thank me for my recent review of his Catch Weight 6 match, he went on to agree to grant me an interview. Talk about a bucket list item! Shane resides right around the foundation of my homoerotic wrestling fantasies as an object of lust from my very early days of discovering BG East. He’s one of my wrestling crushes who left me in awe that I had this thing in common with such a beautifully handsome, deeply masculine man with such a gorgeous body. His early career matches are bedrock to my prized homoerotic wrestling collection, and his return to the ring these 18 years after he first wrestled for BG East was simply epic. And then I found myself with Shane’s undivided attention, answering my questions, throwing them right back at me and igniting all new homoerotic wrestling fantasies. I hope you enjoy this chat with the legendary Shane McCall, but as you’ll see, it really doesn’t matter that much to me, because it was one of the most pleasurable experiences I’ve ever had in my five and a half years of blogging about homoerotic wrestling.
The legendary Shane McCall
Bard: Thanks for connecting with me on Facebook, Shane. I needed to take a little time to work on some questions so I don’t sound too, too much like a fanboy dork.
Shane: Ha! Sounds good, boy. Is that your tight lean bod in that profile pic?
Bard: My abs aren’t quite that ripped anymore, but happily the bod is still tight and lean.
Shane: Works for me. I always enjoy working lean muscle.
Bard: Oh, damn. This is going to be quite an interview! I’m going to have to work hard to stay focused if you insist on speculating about working over my body! I am extremely thrilled and a bit intimidated to get this chance to talk with the famous Shane McCall. Can I just start by asking about your stunning return to the ring in BGE’s Catch Weight 6? How did it feel stepping through those ropes again?
Shane was stunned to find Lady Gaga in wrestling gear waiting for him and his epic return to the BG East ring.
Shane: I can smell your intimidation, and love the smell of it in the morning. That and a cup of coffee, and I am ready to start the day. Thanks, Bard. It felt great lacing up my wrestling shoes and pulling the straps up on my singlet. Some things your body never forgets. I knew I was ready to take on anyone. My head was in the game. Keeping my body healthy with good diet and working out paid off, too. Stepping up onto the ring and standing at the ropes felt as natural as it did when I was 32 as it does at 50. What I saw waiting for me inside the ring, well, was downright comical. Lady Gaga in wrestling gear.
Bard: It certainly looked to me like you didn’t skip a beat from the last time we saw you there. You completely owned it. And since you mention Lady Gaga in wrestling gear, what do you make of young Ty Alexander not knowing who you are? I mean, you’re basically royalty to anyone with even a passing familiarity with homoerotic wrestling. What the hell has the world come to when a wet-behind-the ears babyface trying to establish a career in this business doesn’t even know the hunks who helped build this industry?
“Ty-resome” got an ass-whooping he won’t soon forget.
Shane: Thanks again, Bard. Your kind words and praise are spot-on and appreciated. Ty-ersome knew exactly who I was. I think that was his lame attempt to get under my skin. I’ve grown a thick layer over the years, and that shit just rolls off my back. These little pretty things, it is more about cosplay and dressing up in shiny erotic gear and looking pretty for themselves in the mirror than it is the sport of domination. Even though I gave him an ass whooping he will not soon forget, I doubt he learned anything. He’s probably now scouring the web for his next pair of shiny pink nut smugglers. But back to your comment about me being a force that helped build the homoerotic wrestling industry. I’m humbled. I owe it all and learned from the best in the business with Kid Leopard and Kid Vicious’ ring training and Energy and Zen training with Sailor Rob.
Bard: Well, no one can say you didn’t deliver a first rate education to darling Ty, but I suppose you can only lead a horse to water. If I remember correctly, you were BGE’s first rookie of the year. What was your learning curve like? What were some of those lessons you learned from KL, KV and Sailor Rob?
Shane found himself in a sea of gorgeous, oiled muscle at the end of Wrestlefest 1.
Shane: You have a keen memory. Yes, I was the first recipient of Rookie of the Year. 1996? I remember that weekend well. It was a fun time meeting a lot of the other BG East wrestlers and tons of hot matches throughout that weekend. Flo and I connected right off, and I learned a lot from him. Wrestling, being a devastating heel, being an outstanding jobber and the art of selling both.
Bard: Flo?
Kid Leopard (aka, Flo)
Shane: Oh, Flo is my nickname for Kid Leopard. Short for Florenz Ziegfeld. In return he calls me Shanney. I told him when I first arrived at BG East that I felt a little like the Fanny Brice of the BG East’s beautiful Schwanns. He laughed and said, “That’s ridiculous! You’re GORGEOUS. But I love it!” And so started the beautiful relationship of Flo and Shanney.
Bard: (laughing) That’s adorable!
Shane: During this past summer’s visit and taping, Flo was giving me a tour of his art collection. We both love art, especially wrestling art. The tour ended up in his office filled with photos of wrestlers of old and new and wrestling related artifacts. It truly is an amazing collection including DVDs, dolls and anything wrestling. Tucked on a shelf I saw the first photo I sent to Flo via the old Gillespie directory. I had sent it to Flo back in 1994. I had written a note on the back introducing myself and stating I hope to meet someday and would enjoy making a wrestling video for BG East. I was so deeply honored and touched that he kept that photo in a special place that he could see every day.
The Boss keeps this 1994 photo of Shane nearby.
Bard: I’ve seen that art collection and it’s incredible! So much to look at everywhere. I’m not surprised KL keeps that photo nearby. Damn, now that’s what I call selling a resume!
Shane: I spent a lot of time working in the ring with Kid Vicious, too, who told me “the only way you’ll be a good heel is to be an outstanding jobber.” KV went above and beyond in showing me what a ruthless prick heel is like and how to totally dominate and even humiliate a jobber. Some sessions were so devastating that you had to peel me off the ring apron at the end. I would never know what the lesson plan would be for the day. He just instructed me to show up and find out. Today is gut punishment day, or pec torture day, or my personal favorite, bumps, slams and stomps day. KV’s Heel Philosophy is, if you are not enjoying every moment tearing a jobber apart piece by piece then your fans are not going to enjoy watching it. KV takes much pride in his work and a lot of joy too, I can certainly attest to that. Sailor Rob is my Energy and Zen coach and advisor. Staying focused and centered in key when working in the ring. Much of the work is done outside in nature. Becoming connected with the Earth is the best way to become grounded and centered, he tells me. I found it also helps keep the gardens beautiful and fruits and vegetables harvested.
KV began initiating Shane into the joys of being a heel in Ringwars 1.
Bard: I’m entranced by this body-mind meld approach to training with KV and Sailor Rob in tandem.
Shane: Mind, body and soul healing is applied to everyday life and not just working for BG East. A healthy life is all about the balance of life and energy.
Bard: I think BGE has long produced wrestling that goes a lot deeper than pretty boys with pink nut smugglers, and I suspect that multi-focused training you received speaks a lot to that special, hot recipe they cook up.
Shane: BG East has the hottest stock of men working for them past and present. I’ve worked with a lot of them, too. Buster, Troy Baker, Casey Cutler, Todd Brophy, Kurt Erikson just a few of my hot mat matches. I took on some amazing ring talent too: Bryan Walsh, Clint Morgan and Chris Denver. Ty-ersome is a cutie too, and a tough little SOB. I was actually surprised he took as much as I gave him.
Bard: Do I remember correctly that you had a solid amateur wrestling background when you showed up? How do you think amateur wrestling skills contribute to the rough and rowdy world of BGE wrestling?
Spartan Wrestling Club
Shane: Yeah, I’ve been wrestling all my life. Tons of garage and basement battles growing up with buds in the neighborhood and school. My self-esteem was pretty low in high school and being teased everyday on the bus didn’t help with that. Like most young men being gay at that age and time was a rough period. I was also too nervous to try out for wrestling since it was a huge turn on for me. I mentioned the Gillespie Directory earlier. That was a hardcopy listing of wrestlers from all over the world. It cost like $20 a year, and the catalogue was delivered via US Postal with tons and tons of listings with photos of hot wrestlers around the world. That is the directory I met Kid Leopard and many other of my wrestling friends I keep in touch with today. The first guy I met in Philly was John, aka RomanGodPa, in the Gillespie directory. He was one of three men that started the Spartan Wrestling Club in Philadelphia, and I was the seventh member to join that club. John, Dennis and Andy Bailey were my first coaches to freestyle wrestling. I competed in the 1994 Gay Games in NYC and later become a coach of the Spartans. Andy Bailey brought me up to BG East training camp for my first of many trips.
Bard: So many connections to so many hunks!
Shane: Freestyle and the mat training that I learned from the Spartans was my strong suit, and I loved the contact and learned as much submission as I could privately with other sub wrestlers. I had mats in the small apartment in Philly and learned submission wrestling the hard way: trial and error. When visiting BG East and seeing the ring I knew that was something I really wanted to do. Shit, it was something I’d fantasized about since I was a kid. I asked and begged Kid Leopard to put me in the ring several times, and he said I was not ready. I can be persuasive, and he finally caved. Bryan Walsh was my first match. Squash. Clint Morgan. Total devastation. Chris Denver. Splat.
Clint Morgan. Total devastation.
Bard: However even as you were getting squashed by Clint Morgan, you were also winning Rookie of the Year. We’ve both given Ty Alexander a hard time in this conversation, but clearly there’s a time-honored place in the hearts of fans for the beautiful hot stud who gets trampled and crushed brutally. As someone who appreciates the erotic allure of wrestling from the inside out, what do you think it is that arouses so many of us about witnessing a devastatingly handsome hottie brutalized and humiliated like you were at the hands of Bryan Walsh, for example? What does a bubble butted jobber rising like Ty need to do to engender not pity, but arousal in being crushed?
Shane: You have to be hard on guys like Ty, otherwise their heads get too big. I am just trying to keep Ty’s head in proportion with his ass – especially in those small shiny trunks. As many muscled wrestling stars and diverse fans that BG East has cultivated over the years, there are just as many wrestling erotic buttons to push and scenes to play out. The box is endless, and for me the turn-ons change with my age and physical stature. I’ve grown from young athletic stud to big muscle bear daddy. I’m still wrestling young muscle studs and men of my age and size and even smaller. It all depends on my challenger and my mood.
Bard: Tell me more about that.
Shane: Let’s take you for instance Bard. With those tight abs you’ve been showing off, you’re just the kind of guy I would love to whip into the turnbuckle and keep you there while I drive my fists, knees, shoulder and boots deep into your abs until you are slumped into the corner pleading for mercy. Then grab you by your hair and set you up in the corner and whip you to the opposite turnbuckle for another round of ab abuse. Does that arouse you? It does me. Why does that arouse me? It doesn’t only arouse me erotically, it goes deeper than that. Wrestling for me isn’t only about being competitive or dominating or being dominated. It becomes a bond, a deep visceral connection with another man. It is about playing out creative fantasies and making sure my challenger is also getting something out of it too. The bond is only as strong as the two men who play it out. Be creative and have fun or go home. That is what makes BG East the top of the erotic wrestling business. A hot stable of wrestlers with amazing talent and thoughtfully creative production crew who only expect the best from everyone. They deliver.
Bard: Um, excuse me while I adjust myself, because yes, yes indeed, that just aroused me profoundly. You’ll have trouble grabbing me by my hair, but my abs are open for business for Shane McCall’s attention!
Shane: Bald, huh? That’s ok. I’ll just pull you up like I do with Scott Williams, by your ears or hooking your nostrils with two fingers.
Bard: As I sit here with this rising pressure in my pants, two questions come to mind. 1) How are your knees these days, because I’d pop my cork to see how long my core holds out in your over-the-knee backbreaker, and 2) with the scorching hot heat that wrestlers like you generate, wrestlers who wrestle from inside the homoerotic wrestling community, how is it we don’t see more erections? I’m being completely serious here when I ask how the inherent intimacy and erotic imagination of two hot, wrestling kinked hunks doesn’t generate more raging hard-ons in the matches we see on camera. Does the camera itself have cold shower effect? Does the sexual tension… protrude more prominently in truly private matches? Are there industry regulations governing the full throttle phallus from appearing more often than it does in even such an overtly erotic context?
Shane has something like this in mind for a certain fanboy blogger.
Shane: How are my knees? Ask Ty. He received a few devastating knee drops in our match. I love delivering over the knee backbreakers multiple times with authority. A nicely executed over the knee backbreaker shows off the recipients beautiful abdominals, which are then open and ready for more abuse. The knee driven deep softens and weakens the lower lumbar getting the jobber ready for my rib and spine crushing bear hug. So, you’re popping some wood, huh? Good. I thought the smell of intimidation dissipated and another scent filled the air. That will make my bear hug on you that much more , well, stimulating. Having it trapped between your tight abs and my big solid belly, well, something has to blow, either your lower lumbar vertebrae or the other.
Bard: Holy shit, this interview is going places I hadn’t planned on! See, just talking about this is busting my zipper!
Shane: Mat wrestling is more conducive to hot steamy matches with full on raging erections since the action is mostly on the ground. The space is smaller, more intimate if you will, and the wrestling holds are more about full-on body contact. Sweaty muscle on sweaty muscle really gets the blood and juices flowing. I’ve seen and been in plenty of those matches in the BG East mat room and hotel matches too. With ring and arena matches, there is more muscle exertion and large muscle work, too. Back muscles, quads, glutes and hamstrings are on full throttle when working a hard match in the ring. Blood flow of the body goes to them before going elsewhere. Not having a full on erection does not mean I’m not turned on. Erotic and sensual energy is flowing full on when I am wrestling a guy I am into. Seeing a hot jobber sell a body slam or tied up in the ropes is very sexy to me. As the match goes on and the sweat pours down a deflated, hardbody muscle jobber, and the breathing is heavier and deeper, getting closer to a pin or tap-out… that’s sexy shit.
Bard: I just have to repeat the truest words ever spoken: that’s sexy shit! I’ve been working hard to keep my inner fanboy in check this whole time, but picturing me being cracked across your knee with my abs tested just busted down that door. And mentioning the likes of Bryan and Clint Morgan and Scott-man-of-my-dreams Williams is leaving me helpless to control myself. Get ready for some star-struck fan worship now, and just remember you brought this on yourself! To start, I’m dying to say that the sexiest tag team match in history has got to be you and BBW laying waste to adorable Liam Ryan and his doomed bear daddy Brian Powers. There are several moments in that match that intrude into my thoughts on a regular basis and make me weak in the knees. The overt sexual engagement of both teams for their teammates and for devouring your opponents remains pretty much the ideal form of a homoerotic wrestling match to me. Can I just thank you right now for being part of the genius and provocation of that match? I mean, there’s probably a question I could ask, but I really just desperately want to say, good god man that was unbelievably hot and has never been bested in my extensive watching of tag team wrestling ever since!
Shane: Wow, Bard, you did pop a cork with that one! You fan-gushed all over my face and pecs with that (laughing)! Thank you for your praise and the enthusiasm in which it was delivered. Now, may I have towel please?
Bard: Don’t towel off too soon, because I’m notoriously fast at recovery!
Chemistry!!!
Shane: That tag team match with BBW, Brian Powers and Liam Ryan was an epic match and one of my personal favorites, too. The chemistry and the action was spot on, and as much as the fans enjoyed viewing it we had a blast making it… and, oh, did you really say “Scott man-of-my-dreams Williams?” I just threw up in my mouth.
Bard: Well, yes, I did, acid-reflux aside. I just don’t have words to say how formative and liberating it was for me to discover fantasy men like you (and Scott) taking it to each other in those truly classic BG East wrestling releases from almost 2 decades ago. Your hairy pecs and gorgeous face opened up doors for plenty of us to tap into some deep reservoirs of pleasure inside of us.
Humbled by compliments? This must be one profoundly humble hunk!
Shane: I really am humbled when I hear from fans, and they thank me for the work, or ask about a BG East match. Sometimes I just get flustered and not really know how to respond to a fan who extends compliments. I do appreciate the kind words nonetheless. I have really enjoyed hearing the favorable response from BG East fans regarding my match with Ty. That makes me feel really good and I am truly touched that fans are happy to see me back.
Bard: Okay, I’m beating back my inner fanboy to ask a more critical question now. I’m fascinated about your comments about mind, body and soul healing being woven into your life and wrestling. The explicit text of a pro wrestling match is pretty damn violent. How do you see that balance of Zen and energy mindfulness with the thump and grind text of a homoerotic wrestling match?
Energy & Zen guide: Sailor Rob
Shane: Energy work and healing happen in all forms. Pro wrestling is an art form, whether it’s the homoerotic industry, small indies, or the big time pro wrestling circuit. It is all based on taking the viewers on a journey outside of their everyday humdrum lives. That is what the viewers expect and look forward too. BG East takes their viewers on a journey that Dorothy and her friends of Oz could only dream. My training at BG East included body, mind and soul development, and can be explained like this. Kid Vicious’ training is Klingon training: brutal and only one winner (me). Sailor Rob’s energy and meditation is basically Jedi training: opening my mind and seeing my optimal potential and reaching it. Kid Leopard (aka Flo), well, we already know he is the Florenz Ziegfeld of the pro wrestling world. Make it and make it BIG and do everything you can to be sure it sells. Eye on the target and BAM!
Bard: Jedi Klingon theatre impresario?! No wonder there’s such an awesome complexity to BGE that speaks to me. Not to mention how a Star Wars-Star Trek-Broadway mash-up completely engages my sexy nerd side (which, trust me, is way sexy). And I’m loving the notion of wholeheartedly selling the fantasies that move you from the inside out. Go big and own it or go home. My final question I want to ask is about that body component of the mind-body-soul connection. I periodically get assailed by wrestling fans complaining that some featured wrestler that turns me on hard is “too old” or too beefy or what-the-fuck-ever. This tires me the hell out, frankly, because like you’ve said, there’s this deep bench and awesome diversity of hot bodies and personalities that makes wrestling so engaging for so many people. But as someone who owns your age and sexy bear daddy belly and brought that all explicitly into the ring to crush young Ty with, what would you like to say (or do) to those fans that seem to only be able to bear seeing 20 year old underwear models in their wrestling fare?
Shane: I don’t think I would have much to say to them. If that is what they like, they should enjoy it. If they are throwing negative comments to you and your selection of hot picks or wrestlers you interview, tell them to write their own fucking blog. They continue to give you any more shit, send them my way. I’ll straighten them the fuck out. You can watch too if you like.
Haters: be forewarned.
Bard: You don’t need to ask if I’d enjoy a front row seat to that!
Shane: I get it though. I’ve popped in a few BG East DVDs and sat back on the couch and cranked a few out watching two little hot muscle boys going at it. Kid Karisma and Christian Taylor are hot examples. Christian is just so beautiful and I love to see him get worked over and punished. Karisma is a looker too, and not half bad as a wrestler. He could use some Shane training though. He’s taken on some season wrestlers too like Red Baron and Cage Thunder. Those two men are beefy and muscled and that was a hot three-way match. I am guessing Cage and Baron have some grey hairs and crow’s feet under those masks. Only one way to find out, of course, and unmask those men in the ring.
Bard: Again, I call dibs on front row seats to your training session with Kid Karisma and to the clash of the titans that would be you setting out to unmask Cage Thunder and Red Baron!
Shane: And Catchweight 6 also features Mitch Colby and young Billy Lodi, which is another hot seasoned daddy vs rookie-boy match. Looks like Mitch had his hands full with that little scrapper. I love that too though, seeing a boy get some licks on the bigger, older daddy…Boing! And the match with Eli and Rio looks smoking hot too. I do find it stimulating seeing a big sexy muscle stud like Rio getting worked over by the smaller, but much more skilled Eli.
Bard: Yes, yes, yes. All of that again for me, too! Well, I fully expected this to be a pleasure, but I can’t tell you how unexpectedly provocative this has been for a barely-contained fanboy like me to get to talk with you, Shane.
Shane McCall fulfillsmy fantasies!
Shane: Bard, I’d like to take this time and say I have really enjoyed our exchange during this interview and delighted our paths have crossed. It is nice to hear from a fan and how my matches and work with BG East have made an impact on you and many other fans. Enjoying a fetish like wrestling in a healthy and safe outlet is extremely important to living a healthy life, physically, mentally and emotionally. I really think if you hold fantasies and fetishes inside and not play them out you are not only cheating yourself, but it will probably play out in an unhealthy way. That can result in harming yourself or others. Playing out your fantasy by wrestling, writing, painting or any other expressive ways can be a wonderful thing. Just remember to play safe, smart and respect yourself and your challengers.
Bard: Sage words to celebrate wrestling by. Anything else you’d like to say before I let you go?
Shane: Keep on writing these juicy wrestling blogs and fun interviews, Bard. You are doing an outstanding job and your writing talent and passion for erotic wrestling will keep your fan base returning and strong. Hopefully one day our paths will cross and we can meet face to face and pec to pec. Until then keep those ripped abs tight and solid so I can enjoy pounding on them with your back over my knee.
Bard: And with that, my fanboy cork is officially re-popped! The pleasure has been all mine, Shane, and I look forward to taking that ride across your knee someday!
The erotic art of an OTK backbreaker. Dirk Shannon and Peter Genelli are stunningly poised in this moment of total control from Canadian Musclehunks 8.
I recently commented that I’d trade most gay porn sex scenes for a mouthwatering over the knee backbreaker any day. This isn’t indicative of how I feel about sex, per se. I was pointing out that it’s the typical woodenness (not the good kind) and scriptedness of hardcore porn that I find less than fulfilling. However, it is indeed indicative of how I react to homoerotic wrestling, even when it’s sold with a pretty transparent script, and truth be told, the OTK backbreaker in particular works me every time. Even a poorly sold OTK makes my heart beat faster. But a truly exquisite OTK is a work of art that captures the essence of eroticism, domination, and combat that jerk my libido hard. When I think of the OTK backbreakers that have stuck with me, seared into my memory and making my pulse pound even in retrospect, here are few of the G-rated (well, let’s say PG-rated just for the extra prudish out there) examples that I’ve filed away for safe keeping and frequent consulting.
From my first BG East crush, Fantasymen 18, Brad Rochelle bends like a gymnast and Jeff Phoenix exploits that flexibility beautifully.Kid Vicious never fails to make the most of an OTK, bringing gorgeously aroused Derek Da Silva to the edge of ecstasy and agony at the very same moment in Ball Bash 1.Darius is the classic muscleman laid bare as Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) digs deep in Ringwars 16.Vile Morgan Cruise uses Skip Vance’s lower leg to torture his boyfriend in a leg lock while simultaneously breaking Skip across his thigh in Tag Team Torture 16: Boyfriend Beatdown.To of the finest bodies locked together in a beautiful display of muscle, balance, and flexibility as Tyrell Tomsen brutalizes Z-Man in Wrestle Revenge.Simply gorgeous. Massively muscled Ted Shipp takes exquisitely sexy Beau Hopkins and stretches lays him out like a Thanksgiving feast in Canadian Musclehunks 6.
Our man inside BG East, or as one insightful observer recently referred to him, “OMI,” sent me a batch of catalog 103-related behind-the-scenes snapshots. These were actually sent before the release of catalog 103, but they got buried in my email while I was knocked down with an early spring illness. Happily, I’m getting back on top of things after my recovery, including digging out these hot pieces of awesome contraband smuggled out from the BG East camp. I have still heard no word of OMI’s unmasking, although my offer of a free dinner should we ever meet in person still stands. That is, he gets a free dinner from me if he isn’t drawn and quartered by the powers that be at BG East first…
If only this was self-snapped by bespectacled Kid Vicious, I’d argue this could be the homoerotic wrestling equivalent of Ellen’s Oscar’s selfie. As it is, this shot of Jonny Firestorm and KV manning the cameras with golden boy Austin Cooper in nothing but his underwear looking over the shoulders is still an incredibly hot, somewhat novel collection of devastatingly sexy man meat! The three of them look chummy, which may explain Austin’s fantastic heel turn a while back which he OWNS like a champ in his newest release, absolutely carving up newbie Leo Tomassi like a turkey dinner in Jobberpalooza 13. It seems like Austin is teetering on the edge of giving his hot pecs over totally to the dark side, and personally, I hope he keeps this company pictured here. More bad influence from two of the top heels in BG East can only promise more fantastically cruel performances from golden boy body beautiful heel Austin.
Along the lines of “the company you keep,” here’s Austin’s Jobberpalooza victim, Leo Tomasi, showing off his rippled abs with adorkable rookie Ty Alexander ready for stills. If Austin is getting his marching orders from Jonny and KV and Leo is getting introduced to the scene from crushable jobber-rising Ty, the handwriting was on the wall way before Leo got bullied and literally bloodied by relentlessly cruel Austin.
Here’s a pre-match photo of another golden boy muscle stud who appears to be making a play for turning his career around by dipping deep into the dark side of the Force. Did you see Braden Charron’s work with pretty Pete Sharp in Jobberpalooza 13?! Holy shit, I was completely blown away and shocked. I did NOT see that coming. Until now, Braden has been a tad too pretty, too sexy for his own good. All that mouthwatering meat and beauty have done nothing but draw out some of the most vicious and sadistic performances in even BG East’s babyface ranks. I saw a whole mountain of gorgeous hurt heading his way when I noticed he was to be Pete’s first ring opponent, because Pete may be pretty as a peach, but he’s also been incredibly dangerous in his first two outings on the mat. But wow. Just, wow! Braden pulls off what I have to think of as an upset, despite his extensive experience advantage, and watching him make every luscious inch of pretty, pretty Pete suffer is phenomenal! Pete’s got serious repair work to do on his rep, while Braden has convinced me he’s a lot more than a pretty face and a mouthwatering cock!
And again from Jobberpalooza 13,Guido Genatto came damn near close to literally breaking poor, insanely pretty Kip Sorrell. Seeing Guido stretched out on the couch, bespectacled, checking his email, with Ultimate Warrior (RIP) nestled between the tree trunks he calls his thighs, you’d never suspect the boiling rage he’s about to tap into the second he sees the very definition of a pretty boy, Kip, lacing up his boots. This is one of those matches where I get sucked in so deep that I grow genuinely concerned for Kip’s life and limb. Guido turning outmatched Kip into a little more than a life sized Ken doll, to be manhandled, manipulated, and humiliated like a despised plaything, is insanely sexy. Between Kip’s devastated gym body and Guido’s gargantuan, power packed physique, I can’t decide which I want to lick more, the mammoth crevice between Kip’s pecs or the lightly hairy expanse of Guido’s beautiful belly. Fuck that, let me trade places with that Ultimate Warrior pillow. NOW!
OMI has got testicles the size of beach balls! He’s slipped us a behind the scenes photo of the franchise himself, Kid Leopard, ready for taking stills and Jonny Firestorm, well… um… flat on his back, hands behind his head, apparently “on break.” For Jonny’s sake, I hope that’s a sanctioned nap-time.
Finally, OMI slipped out these two photos of rookie Kayden Keller looking handsome as hell and ready to unwrap like a Christmas present. The second shot, I notice, is a selfie, meaning that either OMI is Kayden or OMI has access to download photos from Kayden’s phone. If we hear that hot rookie heel Kayden is cleaning BG East toilets with his tongue in the near future, perhaps we’ll have finally learned OMI’s true identity. I hope not, though, because I imagine that might also be the last contraband we get from him. One way or another, I think OMI either IS Kayden, or OMI really, really like’s Kayden’s hot rookie body! Or both. I’d understand, either way.
This week I had the great pleasure to enjoy my second-ever “dinner with Dumont.” Before you ask, 1) no, there was no wrestling involved, 2) Lon wore baggy jeans and a fantastically tight, long-sleeve t-shirt stretched awesomely over his bulging pecs, and 3) this time I got a keepsake photo of the two of us that is instantly in my top 5 favorite possessions. Back to the narrative, the long-time favorite homoerotic wrestler of mine was back in my neck of the woods and fulfilling fan fantasies by treating me to dinner. That’s right, stud puppy extraordinaire and perpetual infatuation of mine, Lon Dumont, picked up the tab for dinner! Honestly, I believe that most people who I know well enough to treat me to dinner would describe me as clever, witty, and an engaging dinner date. But sitting across the table from a homoerotic wrestling infatuation like devastatingly hot Lon Dumont, I turn into a stammering fanboy.
All I can see is devastatingly brutal Lon staring an opponent into quivering submission!
It’s like seeing double-vision. There’s this engaging, cool guy in front of me, and I’m also seeing Lon Dumont, body beautiful wrestling heel flexing his champion biceps in some lucky opponent’s awed face. Lon assured me that he has plans to be back through this way in a few months, raising for me the question of how many times would it take to have dinner with Dumont before I’m desensitized to the awe of it all and can be as engaging a dinner partner as I normally am (or like to think of myself as)?
Kid Vicious talks my language, except for the fact I’m completely tongue-tied.
It’s certainly happened to me before. On my pilgrimage to Pembroke, I got to meet and eat with some of the hottest wrestling heels to recur repeatedly in my fondest homoerotic wrestling fantasies on camera and in my imagination. I had questions prepared. I was planning on documenting the conversations to share, in my typical overdrawn and pedantic way, with all of you. And then there I was, talking to Kid Vicious, who was engaging, thoughtful, and downright philosophical in parsing apart the politics and polemics of homoerotic wrestling. In other words, he was talking my language! But there I was, stumbling over my tongue and finding myself with clinically diagnosable aggressively intrusive thoughts, in particular picturing KV stripped down to trunks and threatening to tear an opponent’s balls off.
Those forearms are HUGE!!!
Same lunch, same place, and Jonny Firestorm was the same way. Chatter, shop talk, the awkward revelation that Jonny doesn’t follow neverland closely enough to realize he was at one point my homoerotic wrestler of the month. So many opportunities to ask an insightful question, probe as the investigative blogger I imagine myself to be, and honestly, the only thing I could do was stare in awe at Jonny’s gargantuan forearms and picture him wringing the life out of hot piece of jobber meat.
Is it possible to graduate from fanboy to fellow human being? With images like this from Kid Leopard’s catalog, I’m not sure…
Not surprisingly, the worst was meeting Kid Leopard. By “worst,” of course, I mean, the most paralytic for me, a completely awestruck, drooling fanboy. KL was a fantastic host, showing me around the grounds, letting me see where the magic is made in the ring, on the mats, in the gazebo, in the wrestle shack. He was generous and engaging, and I felt like I couldn’t string together more than 3 words at a time. Is English my first language? Why do I suddenly have a 3rd grade vocabulary!? Holy fuck, I just kept swallowing hard, completely at the mercy of the image of KL prying apart some fabulously hot hunk playing on repeat from my memory.
Hopefully, I’ll keep getting opportunities to meet these men of my wrestling fantasies, and hopefully, someday, I’ll be able to pull off more than just the thick-tongued stammering of a star struck fanboy.
I’m huddled under a blanket and on the phone with my contractor to improve the insulation in my house before another polar vortex hits. So before my fingers freeze, let’s just admire the fine art that is the homoerotic wrestling trunk pull…
Kid Leopard drags Sailor Rob’s battered body off the mat, one hand prying upward on the trunks, the other with his fingers wrapped around those irresistible, curly locks. The complete photo story of KL v Sailor Rob available in BG East’s Arena.Kid Vicious “helps” Joe Driver up with a promising tug on those achingly valiant red-white-and-blue trunks in Ringwars 8.Dennis the Menace gives the audience at Paradise their money’s worth in his oil match with hunk Jay Austin, making sure that minuscule thong doesn’t get in the way of the view of that phenomenal ass!In their Private Bout, Scott Rogers wasn’t shy about using Brian Baxter’s singlet for leverage in order to get that stunning ass into position.In another Private Bout, Scott lifts Chase’s beautiful body completely off the mat by nothing but those struggling trunks and a fistful of hair.
While I ran with the herd for many of BG East’s 2013 Best ofs, I was on my own for most of the categories. That works for me. I’m on the record many times over celebrating diverse tastes among homoerotic wrestling fans. If we were all getting our cranks turned by the exact same products, what a narrower and less vibrant scene this would be! That said, I want to tip my hat to the winners as well as make my final case for my picks that didn’t materialize. Here are a few…
It was Jake Jenkins who, for the second year running, owned Babyface of the Year for 2013. Jake is one of the most earnest, hottest, hardest hunks in the business, so it’s no wonder at all he gets this award another go round. I, however, had to reluctantly turn my back on Jake when I cast my ballot for…
… the paradigmatic babyface, Brad Rochelle. I tell you, the earth fucking shook when Brad stormed back into the ring in catalog 100! He’s not as fresh or young as Jake, but I’ll be damned if watching Brad work his magic in three separate matches (that’s 4 opponents… 5 if you count some sucker punches by Jonny!) reminded me hard why he is THE star of so many of my fondest homoerotic wrestling fantasies. Sure, I’ll give you, there may have been a smidge of nostalgia in my vote, but when I look back on the babyface that will define 2013 for me, it’s got to be Brad.
You, the majority, selected Jonny Firestorm as Heel of the Year 2nd year in a row. I do not quibble about this in the least. Jonny is, day in and day out, catalog after catalog, the most dominant presence of punishment at BG East. Incredibly sexy and dangerous, he’s an ideal top heel. I totally agree, except…
… when it comes to the perfect combination of bone chilling terrifying and blood pumping supercharged erotic, I’ll always break toward the one who is so vicious it’s in his name. Kid Vicious is always at the top of my list when it comes to brutality and pitch-perfect erotic domination.
The majority broke for Rio Garza as Jobber of the Year for the second year running. Again, I do not quibble with Rio’s supreme beauty, nor his epic qualifications for this title. When it comes to sheer beauty amplified by being crushed, there’s no one more beautiful or crushable. However…
… looking only at their 2013 releases, I have to say, Z-Man crushed it when it came to getting crushed, at least for me. He’s come such a long way, and honestly, the mystique of “maybe this time” sticks to him like rubber cement, making me tune in over and over to see if he sells suffering on that steadily rising learning curve he’s been on once again. No disrespect to Rio at all, but I’m totally convinced that Z-Man was top jobber this year.
I freely admit that I shocked myself by NOT voting for the eventual winner (2nd year in a row) for Best Bulge, Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!). Mr. Joshua’s mammoth package is hard to argue with, though I wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to give it a severe tongue lashing. It’s like a third wrestler in the ring, anytime he shows up for work. I’ve been going on and on about Mr. Joshua’s oversized baggage for years, but…
… I was absolutely hypnotized by the humungous produce stuffed down Pretty Pete Sharp’s trunks in his gazebo bout with Kid Karisma. I won’t be satisfied until I see these boys side by side, cock by cock, balls by balls, with a measuring stick in my hand and their trunks at their ankles, of course. But talk about presence! Kid K was literally having to wrestle around that gargantuan bulge (because clearly Pretty Pete has a contract rider that requires the boys to keep their hands off… for now…). There are no trunks built that can entirely cover Pretty Pete’s bulge entirely, not when the action gets nice and intense. I say it again, I’m shocked to say I didn’t vote for Mr. Joshua, but I stand by my opinion that Pretty Pete’s bulge was most impressive in 2013.
Best Body is, I think, the second toughest call to make in this poll. And I don’t begrudge Z-Man one bit for winning, particularly since he didn’t get Jobber of the Year. It’s been said by better men than me that Z-Man’s consistent, phenomenal conditioning is superhuman. Day after day, this stunning stud shows up ripped and gorgeous. He unseated last year’s winner Rio Garza, and I wouldn’t criticize the taste of anyone who thought he was top bod in 2013. But for me…
… Kid Karisma was from front to back, top to bottom, the hottest body competing in 2013. Kid K’s thighs absolutely dwarf Z-Man’s, and although Z-Man’s bod is stunningly gorgeous, I have to say Kid K’s conditioning in 2013 was un-fucking-believable. There’s not an ounce of anything other than mouthwatering beautiful, rock hard muscles on this man. Of course he has the Best Butt. But body part by body part and in sum total, I was most moved by Kid Karisma as Best Body last year.
I’ll save the rest of my lone wolf picks, but for now, let me just say again how much I respect all the winners and runners- up. And let me remind you again that you have until the end of the month to get the winning matches at a 25% discount!
Sidelineland 