wrestlebard

Our Man Inside

December 26, 2013 wrestlebardLeave a comment

So far, I’ve heard no word of any BG East boys turning up in an emergency room after being found out as our man inside, the source of these smuggled pics from a recent BG East taping. Whoever you are, I’m wishing you good health and long life, and dinner is my treat if you survive long enough for us to ever meet! For the rest of you, here are the final shots that our man inside has shared from the Florida sunshine.

Drake and Mason look like alligators hungrily eyeing their prey, aka yet-to-be released rookie Ty. Was this poolside scene all about between-match fun, or was there some sort of Wet ‘n’ Wild free for all caught on motion camera? It seems we’ll have to wait and see.

I’m thrilled to see that Skrapper was also on site, looking hunkier than ever and in need of a certain blogger to liberally lather him up with suntan lotion. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: pound for pound, I think Skrapper may be the most potent and fiercest homoerotic wrestler ever caught on camera. And a Miami Vice five o’clock shadow makes him look even sexier!

It doesn’t surprise me at all to see that Skrapper draws a crowd, and rookie-on-fire Trey Dixon looks like an ideal candidate to meet the buzz saw that is Skrapper on the mats.

I don’t know what it says about our mystery man inside that the most frequently photographed hunk in this batch of contraband photos is the thinking man’s homoerotic wrestler, Mason Brooks. Strike that. I do know that it says that our man inside has exquisite taste in rookie hunks. However, I still don’t know what it says about the identity of the man behind the camera.

Mason’s pecs are looking meatier and meatier, and I assume I don’t need to point out yet again just how sexy his nipples are. You don’t have an option to vote for “Best Nipples” in the BG East Year End Awards poll, so I’m unilaterally declaring Mason the winner. Deal with it.

I believe our secret photog also has a thing for luscious preview-hottie, Ty, because his hot, bronzed body shows up a whole lot as well. My guess is that the upperclassmen were lined up for their shot at this beautiful babyface. I hope that he’s tougher than he looks, because with the other cast of characters on hand, there’s a whole heap of hurtin’ in store for this beauty.

The shadows and low-def resolution on this final pic leave me guessing, but I’m pretty sure that this is Drake Marcos and Skrapper in what appears to be a tongue wrestling match. Or they may have just recreated the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp (any ideas which is the Tramp?). Or they both have new tongue piercings that just got entangled. I’m just not certain.

These smuggled behind-the-scenes pics of BG East boys probably raise more questions than they answer, but it’s a thrill to see a hint of what’s yet to be revealed from BG East. To our man inside, our sincere thanks, and I’m serious about dinner being on me… if you dare reveal your identity!

Second Day of Christmas

December 26, 2013 wrestlebard7 Comments

The Christmas cards keep rolling in, demonstrating over and over that homoerotic wrestlers are both the hottest and most generous hunks on the planet. Today the mailman dropped this intensely provocative work of performance art in my inbox, postmarked from the Cheshire Cat of homoerotic wrestling, Drake Marcos. Drake’s year-end wishes include a little something for you, a little something for me, and an unabashed bid for votes in BG East’s Best of 2013 poll.

The cover of Drake’s card is straightforward enough:

Open up the card, and Drake’s got more gifts to share:

drake2 — To those of you following my exploits, thank you. I told you I was just getting started. Hold your loved ones close (and your kinks closer!) as the new year approaches, and get ready for the new breed of BG as we turn the heat up in the coming year. Nobody does it better. And Bard? I have an ass kicking for you sitting under my tree, come and get it. -Drake Fucking Marcos

Right back at you, stud! I’m dying to know who you have wrapped up under your tree, because I simply can’t believe an epic jobber like you is prepared to cash in on a promise like that yourself. Perhaps if you win a BG award this year (Jobber of the Year, Best Ring Match, Best Squash, Best Match) we’ll have to see if that swelling ego and ripping abs can back up can deliver on that promise. Keep smiling, stud!

First Day of Christmas

December 25, 2013 wrestlebardLeave a comment

My chestnuts just got a little extra roasted when I opened up what has to be one of the sexiest Christmas card’s ever. There are so many reasons Kid Karisma is my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, not least of which is that this holiday hunk is one of the most generous wrestlers when it comes to reaching out to fans. Don’t forget to consider Kid Karisma for so many best of BG East end-of-the-year best-of awards…Just imagine unwrapping this under your tree!

“You either love me or hate me, you just don’t want to fuck with me!!! However, I would like to thank my fans and haters! I wish all a great holiday and lots of ejaculations in 2014. Also, thank you to Bard and Joe for providing the wrestling community with great reads and insights to what is happening in this ever-expanding community (and reminding everyone that I am a BAMF)!” ~Kid Karisma

For Your Consideration

December 25, 2013 wrestlebard1 Comment

I’ve promised myself not to lobby too hard for any of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers up for end-of-the-year best of BG East “BGs” awards, but I will tell you that you need to vote. I will not attempt to sway public opinion. I will not attempt to sway public opinion. I will not attempt….

kipdebut

pete

kkbutt

cam

cam2

drake

brad

Our Man Inside

December 24, 2013 wrestlebard1 Comment

Our mystery man inside at a recent taping for BG East smuggled me more photos of hot young hunks before, during, and after some rowdy wrestling action in the Florida sunshine.

Jonny Firestorm was in the pool, looking happy to keep his Custom Combat demolition of Drake Marcos rolling with a wet ‘n’ wild rack. You’d think after the terror he subjected Drake to in Custom Combat (over and over and in infinite variations), young Drake would steer clear of Jonny. Then again, I sort of get the impression the Cheshire Cat of homoerotic wrestling may get off on soaking up punishment about as much as Jonny does dishing it out.

Is it my imagination, or is Jonny looking sexier than EVER!? There’s a look of trust as he hams it up for the camera. Clearly Jonny knows who’s taking is picture, but we don’t. Hmmmmm….

Our man inside, risking life and limb, also included some provocative pics of fresh young sprouts who haven’t even seen the light of day in a BG East release yet! I love a preview bleacher report! I asked for a lot of details, but all I got back regarding my questions about these two sexy young things is that the bearded beauty goes by “Wolf,” and the seductive, tanned babyface here goes by “Ty.”

The camera captured the beautiful newbies exchanging rear bearhugs. Whereas Ty’s bearhug looks playful, Wolf looks like he’s intent on seriously controlling his competition. They both look hungry to me, and I’m instantly feeling impatient to see these two adorable rooks debut.

It looks like Drake got his hands on the fresh meat as well. It seems like just yesterday I was popping my cork in excitement over smuggled photos of Drake, before we’d ever seen the stud’s BG East debut. Now he’s the relatively seasoned upperclassmen putting newbies like Ty through the ringer. Then again, it looks to me like Ty may be right about to peel Drake’s trunks off, making me think this rook very well could be a big crowd pleaser!

Since the Boss left a comment on my last post, and since that comment was not the promise of heads rolling, I’ll take it that he’s not too upset with the contraband that our mystery man smuggled out. But then again, I do have one more batch of photos still to share….

Our Man-Inside

December 23, 2013 wrestlebard5 Comments

Yesterday I woke up to find 6 inches of powder fresh snow and chilly winter temperatures. Then I checked my email and found some unexpected photos that turned the heat way, way up!

1488318_10153612182655103_212368305_n — I see new faces and long-standing favorites alike lounging in the **BG East** pool.

I make no apologies for my infatuation with candid, behind-the-scenes glimpses of wrestlers being themselves. I drop no subtle hints that I’m always in the market for someone to smuggle out pics of the hotness that happens when the video cameras stop rolling at a homoerotic wrestling taping. I also know that Kid Leopard has personally tanned the asses of some of his boys who’ve leaked pics like these in the past. But it seems we still have someone on the inside willing to risk the wrath of the Boss in order to feed our hunger for more never-before-seen images of what hot, hunky wrestlers get up to when the Boss’ back is turned.

Drake Marcos is mounted in Mason Brooks shoulders as they roughhouse with what appears to be a couple of fresh off the farm rookies.

I’ve asked, and I’ve pointedly not been told who shot these photos. So far, no one has claimed credit/blame, which may be understandable, considering that ass-tanning I just mentioned. They were sent to me with a few sparse details to provide enough context to feed our curiosity but, presumably, not enough specifics to provide sufficient detail to finger the photog (which I’m willing to do in gratitude!).

Friends of neverland, Mason and Drake, soak up the sunshine in a break between wrestling matches.

I’ll report this out just like I received it, in discrete installments. Our man-inside confirms that these shots were taken at a very recent taping in Florida. Clearly on hand were some long-standing friends of neverland, including the Cheshire Cat himself, Drake Marcos and the thinking-man’s homoerotic wrestler, Mason Brooks. Most of pics look pretty serene with the boys in their speedos basking in the sunshine. Then, there was this last pic in the first batch that caught my eye, as I’m sure it will yours:

001 — The star of the first ever **Custom Combat**, Drake Marcos, appears to have been claimed by the thinking man’s homoerotic wrestler, Mason Brooks!

That’s right, an autographed pic of the Cheshire Cat, Drake Marcos, that’s been tagged with the provocative words, “Property of Mason Brooks.” What’s the backstory here!? Did nippletastic Mason conquer and claim the most eager man in homoerotic wrestling in an as-yet unreleased match? Whoever smuggled me the pics has been silent on the topic. I’m having a hard time keeping up with my mandatory holiday parties, because I’m constantly distracted by the possibility that Mason’s got a new pet who, I’m sure, would need equal doses of discipline and affection to train up just right. Was this just a playful prank, or did Drake’s ass, like his photo, get tagged by the ambitious plotter Mason?

Stay tuned for more teased mysteries and musings left in my inbox…

Got you in a fucking headlock right here!

December 21, 2013December 20, 2013 wrestlebardLeave a comment

In the interest of reporting the best homoerotic wrestling news (of course), I’m sampling a hot piece of meat that’s been dangling in front of me for a few years now. Every search query I can think of on YouTube sooner or later pulls up a teaser from Anthony, the Hotgymnast. From what I’ve seen, Anthony is about in-your-face muscle domination and worship, and he’s got such a tasty body for it! His videos in the members section of Hotgymnast.com include some clips that totally tweak my Olympic gymnast fetish that gets stoked every four years or so. But what lured me in to really take a mouthful of what Anthony serves was the promise of him in a luchador mask, providing a 1st-person narrative of him as a narcissistic heel destroying and then making you submit in body and soul.

Here’s the YouTube, publicly available cut of the video. On the site, it’s about 13 minutes long, HD, and filled with dialogue. I’ve tried to contact Anthony about whether he minds me screencapping his video, but I haven’t heard back. My hope is that he’s okay with it, because homoerotic wrestling fans should check this bit out. “You guys wanna get in the ring with me!?” he asks, flexing a gorgeous, oiled up, hairy chested most-muscular. “Hmmm!?” he groans, flashing a beautiful double bicep and showing off his hot, hairy pits.

hotgymnast6 — “You wanna get in the ring with me!?”

I actually approached a homoerotic wrestler once about taping a custom video for me where he narrates in exquisite detail his mastery of an opponent, showing off the muscles and moves he used to beat some lucky hunk into submission. Sadly, that project never came to fruition; however Anthony’s webcam luchador routine comes awfully close to making this dream come true. You, the viewer, are his opponent. He knows you’re awed by his incredibly hot body, and you can rest assured he’s going to use that against you. “Put you in a fucking chokehold,” the luchador hunk explains. “Wrap this right around your throat,” he points at his sweetly peaked, glistening bicep. He shows precisely where your head would be as he makes you suffer. “Tighten up, feel those big, fucking strong forearms pumping up, closing up that airway of yours, huh? Totally helpless.”

hoygymnast8 — “You tap, and I just squeeze a little bit fucking tighter.”

Anthony demonstrates with impressive pacing how he puts you to the mat and then crushes your head in a side headlock. He traps your head between his thighs and milks some pain out of you. He holds you down, straddles you in a schoolboy pin, and yanks your face into his sweaty balls. “Can you smell it, hmmm!? he demands. “Can you fucking smell it!?” With the camera inches from his wildly swinging package, I swear I almost can!

Bearhugs, cockpins, Anthony doing pushups over top of your battered body… you’re done for loser, so don’t be surprised when he yanks his underwear up to expose his ass and demands that you lick his hole. You’re his now, bitches, so prepare to lick his sweaty, hairy pits as well. And damn it all if your conqueror doesn’t pull out his hot, beautiful cock and balls and insist that you go to town down there as well! Word of caution: you will be berated and humiliated, including being called “a maggot piece of shit pissant pig.” However, there are no blatantly homophobic slurs here… just good, old fashioned, bully-on-top ego crushing.

Two lessons for me here. First, Anthony should wrestle. That much flexibility, that gorgeous of a body, and that hot of a persona are wasted on solos. Second, I was right when I thought that a homoerotic wrestler testimonial and demonstration would be sweet, sweet viewing. Just talking about wrestling can take me right where I long to be.

Hot work Anthony. I hope you don’t mind the screen caps, and I hope we see more luchador Anthony on Hotgymnast.com, as well as in a homoerotic wrestling ring!

Friday Fashion

December 20, 2013 wrestlebardLeave a comment

I believe last week’s Friday Fashion poll was the closest yet! Several times that I checked in on the voting, it was a dead heat between hot ginger hunk Steven Ponce and bronzed fitness model Flavio. But Flavio poured on the heat in the last 24 hours to pull out 54% of the vote and determine, conclusively, that he wore those insanely tight baby blue trunks best!

fashionflavio2 — Flavio’s massive muscles abuse those trunks about as brutally as he abuses lightweight Lorenzo Lowe!

This week, we have two long-time infatuations here at neverland going head-to-head, or, more precisely, trunk-to-trunk. The first 3-time homoerotic wrestler of the month around these parts, Eli Black, showed up for his first match at BG East wearing adorkable white briefs with an ominous comic-book “POW!” screen printed across his gorgeous ass. Talk about POW! The beating Eli took from Morgan Cruise was more a mugging than a match. Little wonder Eli retired those trunks, but none other than long-time overall favorite homoerotic wrestler around here (and only recently deposed) Lon Dumont showed up in Tag Team Torture 15 wearing the very same trunks, with that very same “POW!” printed across his bodybuilder sculpted glutes. I’m infatuations with both Eli and Lon are well-documented, despite them representing starkly contrasting wrestling styles, personas, and physiques. But the question isn’t which of the two do I like best. The question is which of the two wore IT best? Check them out and vote below.

Eli didn’t know just what was about to hit him in his **Gut Bash 9** BG East debut, but all eyes were on that astounding ass of his, nestled snugly in those white trunks. He wore the hell out of them, but did he wear them best?

Lon Dumont dug up a newbie to partner with in **Tag Team 15,** but I think he’d of had his babyface opponent’s reading the writing on his ass singlehandedly if need be. Lon’s outing in those same “POW!” trunks was significantly more successful than Eli’s, but the issue isn’t their win-loss record. The issue is who wore it best?

A Few of My Favorite Things

December 19, 2013 wrestlebardLeave a comment

This ad from the Göteborg chapter of RFSL (the Swedish federation involved in lobbying, public health interventions, counseling, and support for LGBT communities) cross my desktop a couple of weeks ago. It combines 2 of my favorite things: Swedes and naked wrestling. Or naked Swedes and wrestling. Or Swedes wrestling and nakedness. It’s all near the top of my favorite things list. I’m a little sketchy on how they are drawing a direct link between naked wrestling while slathered in sweet spreads, but damn it all if I’m not ready to get tested twice a week for the rest of my life if they produce more elimination tournament naked wrestling videos! Tack så mycket, Sverige!

So here’s the quick premise, as best I can tell with my broken Swedish language skills. They bring in 8 hot Swedish guys (redundant, I know), have them coat themselves in “jelly.” Your fighters are raspberry jam, buttercream, “frosting,” vanilla cream, chocolate, “jelly,” caramel and “glaze.” For those interesting in the brackets (you know I am!), in the first round, raspberry jam kicks buttercream’s ass, vanilla cream licks frosting, jelly beats chocolate, and that bastard glaze knocks my favorite, caramel, out of contention. In round 2, vanilla cream brutalizes my second favorite, raspberry cream, and jelly knocks that bastard glaze out like a light. The championship match is hairy bear jelly against blond, smooth (delicious, I’m sure), vanilla cream. These two both look like they’ve got hot, thick, powerful legs. In the end, it’s jelly with his hands raised in naked Swedish sweet spread wrestling victory. Well played, RSFL. Well played.