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More Reveal

August 14, 2014 wrestlebardLeave a comment

vlcsnap-2014-08-14-13h42m08s224 — Tommy’s is flattened and done for about 2.5 seconds into Bear Hugs 4.

I think I like the look of Muscle Domination Wrestling’s Tommy Johnson. I equivocate not because I’m indecisive on the point. Rather, Bear Hugs 4 doesn’t give us a lot of look at tortured Tommy. I mean, he’s there, the entire match. But from the moment he dives dramatically into the ring underneath the bottom rope, he’s crushed and pummeled and nearly swallowed whole by the massive mountain Tatum Riggs.

vlcsnap-2014-08-14-13h40m41s128 — Tommy’s got a nice ass that *someone* needs to get their hands on (’cause Tatum can’t seem to be bothered)!

Tommy spends ages and ages off his feet and crushed brutally in Tatum’s brutal embrace, so I can say definitively that I like Tommy’s hot, athletic little ass. Tyrannical Tatum does not, however, appreciate his opponent’s sweet glutes. If he did, he’d have bendt the kid across his knee, wedgied his underwear high up his ass to reveal more skin, and spanked his lily white butt rose red. This does not happen in this match, and that’s Tatum’s loss. More importantly, it’s our loss.

vlcsnap-2014-08-14-13h31m17s21 — I deduce that the match description that describes Tommy as “shredded” is accurate. I also like the way his cock hits the mat several inches ahead of his hips.

MDW describes Tatum as “shredded, if undersized.” He’s got pretty skinny legs, but I would agree that the glimpses we get of his torso suggest he is, indeed shredded. His abdominal and oblique muscles are defined, and his chest is sweet, lean, nicely shaped meat. I think I’d like to see someone spend some focused attention on his nipples, because amid his twisting and writhing and rolling up in a defensive ball, I believe his headlights look hot. The pound of salami down his pouch also looks seriously tasty, even for a vegetarian like me. Tatum doesn’t pay them any attention, however. Fucker.

vlcsnap-2014-08-14-13h40m09s29 — Hot pecs, sweet nipples, and a cross between Bradley Cooper and Shaggy!? This kid *could* be a star!

Nobody asked me, mind you, but if I were writing the match description (or even better, the wrestler profiles that MDW has GOT to create to help us find the choicest cuts from their growing stable), I’d describe young Tommy as a homoerotic wrestling cross between Bradley Cooper and Scooby Doo’s stoner BFF Shaggy. His wispy beard sans mustache gives him a whiff of the barely legal rule bender who tokes up between shop class and PE. That shaggy hair do, moderate length everywhere except a long, punk shock at the top front of his head, looks both haphazard and thoughtfully intentional at the same time. I think the kid is probably head-turningly handsome, but it’s just a fleeting impression I get, since he spends 96% of this match with his head down, face obscured, instinctively curled up in a ball to try to just survive the absolute mugging. Tatum does not drag the tempting stoner up by his hair. He does not shove the kid’s face humiliatingly into the camera. He never pries the kid’s head backward by that hair-handle and force Tommy to flex his deliciously lean, albeit dwarfed in comparison to Tatum’s, muscles. Bastard.

vlcsnap-2014-08-14-13h41m35s154 — Even in total defeat, we don’t get a glimpse of the stoner stud in much detail…

I think I’d like a second date with road kill Tommy. I’m not positive about that, but I believe I’d like to get to know him better. The bulge in the front of his trunks that remains ample throughout his mugging certainly invites another look. The fleetest glimpses of his ripped abs draw my curiosity for more. His shocked pleading (“not so hard!”) as his rock hard body is crushed makes my jobberlust juices flow. And all of that anguish he sells, if paired with the stoner, leading man good looks I think he has, could be deeply satisfying in better light, from a different angle.

vlcsnap-2014-08-14-13h41m45s254 — …except for that tempting, taunting bulge!

MDW has always had a heavy hand on the mugging side of homoerotic wrestling. They revel in the squash, which I can absolutely get into, mind you, but which I know leaves many wrestling fans flaccid. But I sort of like the face value of Bear Hugs 4. I can groove on the idea of the star quarterback picking out the sexy stoner in the school cafeteria and demanding to make the handsome, well-hung punk suffer in private. I can get stoked by an outmatched mugging like this. But I long for a lot more reveal. I long for Tatum to have a reason for bullying hot stuff Tommy Johnson. If he’d just stroke the kid’s hot abs once (bully turns out hot for hot stuff Tommy), the story would instantly be a bestseller. Or hell, if he just argued that the kid looked at him wrong in algebra class, it’d be a genuine narrative to grab hold of. And speaking of reveal, and this goes for anyone producing homoerotic wrestling, give us a chance to see the studs, to get to know them, to fall in lust with them. Give us better camera angles, better wrestler positioning. Hell, make my fondest fantasies come true and give us some pre-match testimonial time with the boys, a la old school On Top Productions scenarios, to give us the tenor of their voices, the measure of their confidence, the depth of their dreams. And if you’ve got a hot, ripped piece of smoked meat who just might possibly be the best cross between Bradley Cooper and Shaggy, let me see that mug! Let’s see him with a heavy-lidded cocky smirk. Let’s see his features preening with confidence. Let’s see his handsome face suddenly contort in fear and anguish. Let’s see the tears track down his cheeks. I think I’d like to see Tommy Johnson again, preferably with my hand shoved down his trunks, but even short of that, I want to see more. Literally. A lot more.

Making Jake

August 13, 2014 wrestlebard2 Comments

Jake Jenkins has captured the hearts and stoked the crotches of countless homoerotic wrestling fans in the past few years. His charms are both obvious and subtle. He’s gorgeous to look at under any circumstance. But he’s also prolific and varied in his delivery of wrestling drama. So I’ve strolled through the many splendored thing that is JJ’s wrestling filmography and finally arrived at the really tough part of the alphabet. Some of these final entries in Making Jake are weak, I’m the first to admit. But cut me some slack. The options for descriptors that start with the letter X are x-tremely limited. From U to Z, here’s my take on Making Jake…

…unconscious. Perennially dangerous and with inexhaustible tenacity, many opponents have been simply stunned by the energizer-bunny quality of Jake. Even when you’ve got him down, just try counting him out. With the muscle and the body awareness he’s got, he’ll slip out of your fingers 9 times out of 10. What’s an opponent to do to once and for all not just put, but keep him down? An elite few know you very well may have to make Jake unconscious!

…vertical. Jake fans know that his athleticism is second to none. JJ flies. He does handstands. He flips and twists and slams and stomps. He’s perfectly balanced between grace and brutality. That goes for both pitching and catching. Opponent’s can do astonishing things with JJ’s incredibly fit, flexible, agile, compact muscle body because he’s in such incredible shape he can take astonishing beatings and live to tell the tale. For example, Jonny Firestorm managed to contort JJ’s body into positions and shapes I’ve never seen before, each one more breathtaking and beautiful than the last. There’s something just awe inspiring about watching that moment when an expert heel doesn’t just control Jake’s body, he doesn’t just hold JJ’s life in his hands, he makes Jake vertical.

…wet. I’ve got a major thing for wrestlers that work up a heavy lather of sweat, and Jake can definitely get there. When droplets make his muscles twinkle and his bulges glisten, Jake is transported into another realm, joining a pantheon of immortal gladiators demanding to be worshipped as celestial beings. As Ethan Andrews proved, JJ also looks damn good with a bottle of water poured onto him in the middle of the ring, piling humiliation onto defeat. Thankfully it’s never come to this, but it just wouldn’t be a full on JJ match if his opponent didn’t make Jake wet.

…x-rated. Okay, so here’s where you must cut me slack, because I know full well that Jake’s wrestling filmography is PG-13, at best, and that’s only if you have a fundamentalist Christian prude on your ratings board. True, JJ did dally briefly under another name in some full frontal solo work for a beefcake company, but formally speaking, that wasn’t “Jake.” But thank the wrestling gods JJ has been wrestled out of his singlets and trunks on just a few occasions, leaving him in nothing but a sweat soaked jock strap. The briefest glimpse, barely more than innuendo, of his exposed hole exponentiates JJ’s overall homoerotic sexiness across the board. There’s not an inch of him that doesn’t deserve awed worship, but there’s something just for gay wrestling fans when a match makes Jake x-rated.

jakeyelp

…yelp. I’ve said it before, but let’s review it again. Jake is a cool customer. He’s got a sharp wit and a razor tongue, but the quantity of what comes out of his mouth in a match is perpetually restrained. He sells pain most often silently, or at most, with anguish welling up behind a wall of ironclad self-control. So it’s a special treat when an opponent not only drives Jake to the edge of busting through that wall, but managed to squeeze just right and make Jake yelp.

…zealous. Jake embodies many different characters. At Rock Hard Wrestling he started as a brutal heel. At BG East, he’s been a beautiful babyface, a stern initiator and a stunned jobber in various combinations. There’s something achingly hot, though, about Jake as a valiant jock, as certain in the virtue of hard work as he is in the scales of justice tilting his way in bringing victory as reward for his earnestness. On just a couple of occasions, JJ has flashed that wide-eyed, broad smile, wrapped himself in patriotism, and flung himself face first into harm’s way trusting in the rightness of his convictions to weather the storms of dirty tricks and dastardly deviousness hurled back at him. That earnestness is misplaced, of course. This is professional wrestling we’re talking about. But there’s something deeply evocative when a certain gear choice, or a particular partner, or specific opponent manages to make Jake zealous.

Well there you have it. I struggled to select among many excellent option for most letters of the alphabet in attempting to capture the range and depth of Jake Jenkins, so I may very well go around the circuit all over again some day. But first, there’s a certain 3-time homoerotic wrestler of the month who has his own parallel series that I need to pay attention to. Now that I’ve found Eli Black’s most recent work at UCW, I’m obsessed with exactly what it is that evokes the enthralling essence of Eli.

Muscle Newsbreak

August 12, 2014 wrestlebard2 Comments

The race to titillate consumers of news with hotly muscled newsboys seems an ill-kept secret. I suspect we have been socially programmed to find men with baritone voices as the most trustworthy sources of information, and I know for a fact we are profoundly socialized to prefer pretty, fit people, even when the context of their beauty is meaningless to their function. So having big, juicy pecs and peaked biceps that strains the seems of your shirt sleeves has no bearing on the validity or importance of the news they deliver, and yet it’s no accident that news media are dominated by such hot, sexy hunks. It’s also no accident that these hunky journalists work it hard. And as a result, it should come as no surprise at all that they inspire an imaginative homoerotic wrestling kink consumer like me to fantasize about throwing their fine asses into a wrestling ring and watching the upright studs go from earnestly selling trustworthiness to all-in erotic professional wrestling. And they keep fueling my fantasies with hot muscle teases.

wragge — Chris Wragge flexes in a wet t-shirt.

For example, take a hunky, 6’3″ news anchor with thick, hot pecs who douses himself in ice cold water ~~to show off his physique in a wet t-shirt~~ for charity. Of course, the bitter cold makes him “involuntarily”‘ flex his hot body. Chris Wragge is bringing awareness to something, but I don’t think it’s primarily ALS. Not that I’m complaining.

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Studpuppy on the rise David Muir has just recently planted his hot ass in the anchor’s chair of ABC Nightly News, propelled I’m sure in part by the compelling work he does such as when he spotlighted an African American ballet dancer a few days ago. Apropos of nothing, he chatted with her in the summer sunshine, showing off his tan in a short sleeve black polo. His arms stay bent the entire time, coincidentally showing off his meaty biceps. And when the camera catches him just right in profile, check out his perky pecs bulging to sweetly.

Online commenters have noted the chemistry between David and rising star correspondent Gio Benitez, who’s been a major infatuation of mine lately. Gio gets fluff pieces like being sent to interview the ankle biter with a dearth of humility who charmed everyone (but me) by prattling on on live television news about a week ago. However, Gio makes more than the most of this nonsense by wearing a supertight yellow button up shirt that shows off his gorgeously bulging torso. The seams on his shirtsleeves deserve an award for managing to hold as he bends his arm to hold the microphone in front of the kid’s face, coincidentally flexing his bicep for the camera. At one point he looks put out having to squat low (was it a leg-day, Gio?) to get down on the rugrat’s level, and as he leans forward the buttons down the front of his shirt nearly pop open, giving a half a dozen glimpses of the hot mass flexing underneath. The repeatedly interrupted toss back to the anchor’s desk totally screws with David Muir who keeps thinking the piece is over.

gio — Gio Benitez flexes in a supertight yellow button-up.

The gentle pranking between Benitez and Muir makes me picture the two of them sparring in the ring good-naturedly, muscle hunk Gio taunting and teasing the upperclassmen star anchor desk quarterback. Gio dominates an initial test of strength, powering David submissively to his knees. David battles back to his feet, not about to be humiliated by the freshman, and breaks the hold with a kick to Gio’s lower abs. They laugh off the physical tension building between them as step back, give nods of respect, and then lock up again. Gio quickly hip tosses David to his back and drops an elbow across the handsome hunk’s sternum. David struggles to reinflate his lungs, but still manages to suddenly snap his long legs around Gio’s head and squeeze some hot, painful grunts from the youngster. The tanned Muir flexes his hot thighs as they bulge around his opponent’s skull for half a minute, until the youngster gathers his wits and kicks free. They laugh good-naturedly again, but there’s more wariness, more caution, more ego just beneath the surface. They lock up again, but Gio quickly snaps his gargantuan right arm around David’s head and cranks hard, dragging the side of the Muir’s handsome face across Gio’s ridged obliques. Smoothly, the veteran counters, slipping free and wrenching that massive right arm of Gio’s behind his back in a hammerlock, making the kid defensively rise to the balls of his feet and gasp in pain, his meaty pecs bouncing. David quickly transitions to a headlock, and instantly follows with a hip toss, holding onto Gio’s head as they slam to the mat. David presses hard, shoving the kid’s face into his right pec. Gio attempts to kick free, but his skull is wedged way too tight. He’s seeing stars with the pressure bearing down on his temples. He pushes at David’s side, trying to force a break, but the headlock is cinched in like a vice. David taunts the kid a little, leaving it unclear whether it’s good natured teasing or some alpha dog psych out. Apparently Gio takes it the wrong way, because his right hand abruptly locks onto David’s balls through the fabric of his trunks. The anchorman screams and falls to his back, his hands instinctively stretching down to gently, pleadingly cover Gio’s claw. The muscle kid crawls up to his knees and pulls upward, dragging David’s throbbing hips off the mat by the crushing claw locked onto his testicles. Gio crawls across David’s body, facing his opponent’s feet and still holding the claw tightly, now squatting across the anchorman’s upper chest. Slowly he sits down, his big, hard glutes settling smotheringly across Muir’s sputtering mouth. Gio leans back farther, making David bridge higher into the air, a scream of angry protest muffled beneath Gio’s bubble butt.

At least, that’s where my mind goes…

The Defending Champ

August 10, 2014 wrestlebardLeave a comment

Early on in his tenure with BG East, Z-Man was pretty much a cheap buffet. Anyone with a hankering to chew on him a while was stepping up, picking him apart, and serving him cold. He’s come a long way since then, and an even longer way from his even earlier start at Thunder’s Arena. Victory is far from assured when facing down Z-Man these days. There’s a welcome suspense, as he pushes opponents to their limits and firmly stakes out his ground as much more than a pretty face. One thing that hasn’t changed one iota is that ridiculously sexy body of his. There’s clearly a portrait of him aging in an attic somewhere, because Z-Man is supernaturally and unwaveringly perfected across his entire storied career. It’s little wonder that BG East fans gave credit where abundantly due and awarded him Best Body of 2013. His conditioning is astonishing in both power and aesthetics.

kip — Kip Sorell for your consideration for Best Body.

What of that description can’t be said about relative newcomer Kip Sorell, though? True, Kip is still at that early stage in his career when he’s getting his muscled ass handed to him unfailingly, but truth be told, he’s probably on par with Z-Man’s aptitude at the same point in his career. If anything, Kip’s boyish face could possibly be even a shade more leading-man quality. His skin tone is a perpetually, lusciously dark mocha compared to Z-Man’s silky smooth latte. Without taking an ounce of respect from Z-Man, an objective observer could very well honestly be persuaded that Kip is sporting a percentage less body fat, displaying his phenomenal physique with crystal clarity and severe cuts compared to Z-Man’s more graceful curves. But there’s certainly one thing that describes Z-Man that simply doesn’t apply to Kip: Kip has never been voted Best Body by BG East fans.

zman2 — The pose off is highly contested, but it’s hard to argue with those deeply sculpted, tanned abs of Kip.

So the narrative pretty much writes itself when Z-Man and Kip come pec to pec in Ring Hunks 2. They both are in awe of the sight of their own bodies flexing back at them in the mirror. They’re both firmly convinced of their physical superiority in power and proportion, body part by body part. They’re both supremely stunning, gorgeous specimen’s of physical conditioning and muscle aesthetics. There’s no way that these two egos, so deservingly fed by encountering few as perfected as they, were going to wrestle for anything other than bragging rights for whose body is truly best.

It’s all about competition. When the pose off leaves both studs declaring contested victory, they turn to more objective measures. The fastest to 10 push up contest ends in a draw, so they stretch out their fine bodies in the middle of the ring for an old fashioned arm wrestling match. To Z-Man’s shock, Kip wins. Fiercely, Z-Man demands a best 2 out of 3. Ego swollen as massively as his muscles, Kip smirks and agrees. The formula of strength and endurance swings Z-Man’s way for the 2nd fall. Now both boys have egos both bruised and stroked. Fall 3 decides it, and the decision is Kip’s! He knew his “functional strength” was superior all along. Z-Man flies into a rage all over the younger stud’s stunning bod.

zman4 — Let’s start with those vaunted abs…

I admit to deeply enjoying Z-Man in the driver’s seat. Now that he’s (mostly) gotten that shit-eating grin under control, he’s amazing to watch suck down the moment with everything he’s got. It’s his idea to revisit the body part by body part comparison that they’d contested during the pose off, and systematically, muscle by muscle, destroy Kip. He starts with the abs. I had to agree with Kip that his dark tan gave him a definite edge in core definition, but then again, I have to agree with Z-Man, once he’s down ripping, stomping, punching and all around annihilating Kip’s gut, that you can’t argue superior abdominals if you’re too wasted to even flex them.

zman6 — My advice to Kip for next time: open your eyes and grab hold!

Kip gets some licks in here and there, and I’m adamant in believing he’s GOT to develop his offense to move his wrestling career forward. He stuns Z-Man early on and rolls the Playgirl centerfold up, unforgivably closing his eyes with Z-Man’s bulging crotch trapped a couple inches from his face. I long to see Kip sell more danger, so seeing him controlling the veteran ever so briefly is promising. Even if Kip spends forever in jobberville, I’m a big proponent of everyone, even the most fated jobber, being able to sell that he “could” win, even if he never does.

zman10 — The lower back stop on the train to muscle destruction.

But this story is for the winner of the Best Body of 2013 to tell. Z-Man viciously wrenches a screeching submission with his claws dug deeply in his opponent’s gut. The pecs fall into focus, and lovely Kip’s chest looks like shredded beef with Z-Man tearing him apart muscle fiber by muscle fiber. The pace and the impact pick up considerably when Z-Man targets Kip’s lower back. High flying slams and my favorite, over-the-knee backbreakers sell with authority the systematic destruction of Kip’s spine. Z-Man shows fans what they love when two muscle hunks wrestle, displaying Kip’s battered, dominated physique to perfection like serving up a gourmet entree. Kip suffers. Screams a little, which turns me on deep, deep down.

zman7 — Z-Man drives home his point while snapping Kip off at the knee.

Z-Man attacks the legs. Tortures the arms. As testimony to how far he’s come, I barely notice that he’s been driving he bus almost the entire way, maintaing focus and pace, controlling the narrative, pushing the story of Kip’s body part by body part destruction forward with a mature self-restraint that allows us to savor each and every moment.

zman8 — Z-Man gets in one last squeeze of all of that tenderized Grade A beef.

You can stick a fork in Kip well before Z-Man’s done with him, which is even more homoerotic in my mind. Z-Man toys with the outmatched kid. He seems to genuinely enjoy the feel of control and manipulation, driving Kip to the edge of terror and then letting him crawl back again. When Z-Man’s finally done with him, he hangs him outside the ring from the middle rope like soggy laundry. Kip’s phenomenal physique is nothing but raw nerves now. Z-Man tortures him a little more, but finally puts him out of his misery with a sleeper. Still hanging there limply, Kip is subjected to a rematch of that pre-match pose off. Z-Man flexes and then compares. Kip isn’t anywhere near consciousness, much less flexing his hot muscles, so no one is left to argue that Z-Man’s muscles are bigger, more beautiful, and unarguably more deserving of BG East’s Best Body honor.

zman11 — Who’s biceps are bulging biggest now, bitch!?

This is one hot, sexy match between two of the most honed physiques currently competing in homoerotic wrestling anywhere. There’s character development and drama. If we lined up Z-Man fans and Kip Sorell fans in a row, the wait list for a copy of this match would surely stretch from the BG East mothership outside of Boston to BG East South (where this was taped) in Florida.

zman9 — These have got to be two of the frontrunners for 2014 Best Body!

But when it comes to the nominees for Best Body of 2014, will it still be Z-Man on top? Will 2012 winner Rio Garza come back to rip the title back from Z-Man’s hands? Or will one of the other stunningly hot bodies populating BG East put Z-Man in his place, kneeling at the feet of some other specimen of overall physical perfection?

kidk — But if Best Body is won by decimating your opponent’s physique, Z-Man has some ghosts to face down still.

Who’s Your Daddy?

August 8, 2014 wrestlebardLeave a comment

In the interest of full disclosure, let me be clear that daddy/boy culture is foreign to me. I respect the hell out of it, but it isn’t mine. I know that I get the language wrong when I try to speak it. I definitely do not get the rich nuances that guys within the culture thrive on. From the outside, there’s something that seems static about it, too rote, too sedimented to fully engage my homoerotic imagination. But like I said, I respect the hell out of it, and I’m happy to take a hit off it from time to time for the less nuanced allure that even I can jones on.

Muscle Domination Wrestling’s Daddy’s Home release strikes that chord in me. I’m certain that their are daddies and boys who will enjoy this (and critique this) with a much more nuanced and appreciative eye than mine. But even a tourist like I can suck down this local fare and enjoy myself.

vlcsnap-2014-08-08-09h45m47s238 — Matt Thrasher nips home for a quick “lunch.”

One kink that Daddy’s Home instantly tweaks is the eroticism I love when one guy is fully clothed and the object of his lustful attention is naked, or like in this case, nearly so. In baggy khakis and a sky blue button up dress shirt, Matt Thrasher comes home from work for a quick “lunch” and instantly pushes my buttons. The contempt that pours off of him onto skinny boy Theo Devair is rich with subtle undertones of lust, physical domination, and ownership. He rolls his eyes at baby boy Theo doing bicep curls in the wrestling ring wearing nothing but a zip-crotch leather thong and a medallion hanging from his neck. He bullies his way into the workout to show the lightweight how to work a pump. With a knowing smirk, Theo calls salt-and-peppered Matt “old man” and questions what he could possibly know about it.

Cocky, handsome Theo keeps prodding. He’s smooth, fay and delicate in contrast to the stubbled, thick masculinity of Matt. His provocation sounds less like an honest challenge and more like a well-worn opening plea to be dominated and controlled. Matt seems reasonable enough, so perhaps he needs a reason to need to whip his boy into line. Smooth, pretty Theo gives him what he needs to work up a head of steam and effortlessly slap the youngster down to the mat.

vlcsnap-2014-08-08-10h02m32s255 — “You need to learn some respect!’

Commandingly, Matt starts slapping Theo’s lily white ass, leaving bright red handprints. “Yeah, you like that, don’t you,” Matt says knowingly. “You need to learn some respect.” Theo cringes and grunts, but hardly argues with the obvious truth of those words. Matt controls the boy by roughly manhandling him by the scruff of the neck like an errant puppy. “Tell me who’s boss!” daddy Matt demands, rolling Theo to his back and schoolboy pinning him. Theo stares up lustfully at Matt’s muscled, hairy chest partially visible underneath his half-unbottoned dress shirt. Matt obligingly strips off his shirt and flexes his biceps. “You’re nothing next to me,” he growls. Theo eagerly kneads the muscle daddy’s belly and pecs.

vlcsnap-2014-08-08-10h08m54s201 — Matt bulges beautifully!

Perhaps Theo is clearly enjoying himself too much. Matt smacks his hands away and begins to choke him. “You need to learn some respect!” he snarls through gritted teeth. His arms are thick and veiny. Again, the fact that he’s still in his khaki’s somehow turns me on even harder. Theo grimaces in the blatant choke, given something other than his daddy’s powerful body to have to pay attention to. Matt only decides to climb off after the boy obediently repeats the obvious truth, “You’re the man!”

vlcsnap-2014-08-08-10h14m34s201 — Matt planned ahead this morning, figuring a Nasty Pig jock strap would be called for come lunchtime.

Matt promptly strips off his khakis (slapping Theo with his belt for good measure). He’s wearing a black Nasty Pig jock strap underneath. The idea that daddy Matt goes to work, planning ahead for fun and games when he comes home by wearing a jock strap, intoxicates me. He’s big and muscled, lightly hairy pecs and thighs echoing his Alcide Herveauxesque salt-and-pepper beard and closely cropped haircut. Matt has a big tattoo across his right upper arm. His nipples are awesomely delicate positioned so aesthetically on his bulging pecs. His eyes never break their hold on Theo’s gaze for a moment. That fixed, fierce gaze is incredible. That’s what I’d give my firstborn child to see more of in homoerotic wrestling.

vlcsnap-2014-08-08-10h17m35s45 — Matt gives just a taste of what Theo is aching for.

He straddles his boy on his knees once again and flexes. Theo can’t help himself but run his palms up and down that awesomely erotic, muscled belly. He’s enjoying it too much again. Matt shoves the boy’s face in his crotch, then rolls him over and stomps on his back, slaps his ass some more, rubs his face into the mat while humping Theo’s ass. “Yeah,” he growls deep and breathy, “who’s your daddy?” Not that there was ever any real question.

vlcsnap-2014-08-08-10h26m03s231 — Lunchtime!

Soon, hungry Theo is on his knees at his daddy’s feet. Matt tugs down his pouch and wordlessly Theo wraps his lips around the big man’s cock. Again, watch the eyes. Matt stares upward, clearly trained to be held in Matt’s gaze. He pleasures the muscled hunk because he is silently being given permission, no, being commanded to do so with that fucking hot gaze. Have I mentioned how much I’d like to see more eye contact in homoerotic wrestling? Big Matt let’s the boy work his rod awhile, but soon enough goes back to spanking Theo’s ass, demanding the boy say the words, “You’re my daddy.” More ass humping. More cock sucking. Matt’s getting sweaty, not because there’s been any heavy lifting, but because quite obviously his heart is pumping hard.

vlcsnap-2014-08-08-10h34m04s217 — Muscled Matt glistens

Theo works the big man’s cock with a studied expertise. I get the impression pretty much anyone with a cock would have no choice but to respond to his technique, but I’m also left with the suspicion that he specifically knows exactly what his daddy likes. The two are paced beautifully, working in concert to strum Matt’s rod harder and harder. It’s all about Matt, but he permits his boy the indulgence of stroking his big, hard muscles as he services his daddy’s cock. Sweat pours down from Matt’s forehead. Whatever pretense, whatever staging, there’s an honesty that his physiology cannot disguise. He’s getting worked hard.

vlcsnap-2014-08-08-10h36m33s102 — Cock pin to START with.

Neither of these two want things too easy, though. Before Matt can get topped off completely, he throws Theo back to the mat, mounts him and humps his face. Matt rips off Theo’s leather thong and humps his naked ass, clearly turning both of them on even harder.

vlcsnap-2014-08-08-10h46m08s34 — Grinding hips, bulging muscles, veins flush with a racing heartbeat

Matt wants his boy to show him some well-earned respect, so they finally tussle. It’s like wrestling, but Theo’s willingness and enthusiasm for every ounce of Matt’s offense makes this something essentially different. A reverse bearhug, side headlock, full nelson, trampling, ball claw… the physical domination is more performance art than combat. The “winner” was self-evident from about the 00:05 mark of this video. “Daddy’s right all the time, isn’t he!?” Matt demands with his hard cock cradled snugly between Theo’s cheeks.

vlcsnap-2014-08-08-10h52m39s77 — A handful

Matt continues to offer and then take away his big, juicy cock, frustrating and tormenting Theo. Like binging on the Halloween candy, the boy would feast for days on it, but Matt dishes it out tauntingly. Theo scarfs down everything he’s offered but always is left wanting more. Matt takes both of their aroused cocks in one massive hand and starts pushing them toward the edge of the cliff. “Tell daddy how much you like that!” “Oh, daddy… OH, DADDY!”

vlcsnap-2014-08-08-10h54m45s89 — Now *that’s* a cock pin!

Face fucking, muscle worshipping. Matt gets off but leaves his boy’s balls blue. Daddy grabs his clothes and smiles, satisfied. “All right. Back to work,” he mutters, leaving he ring.

vlcsnap-2014-08-08-10h54m56s203 — Daddy worship

The most genuine element of wrestling in Daddy’s Home is the ring. Otherwise, this is about 85% a part of the MDW domination catalog, not the wrestling side of things. That said, even a laser focused homoerotic wrestling kinkster like me can enjoy this drama. Matt is incredibly hot. Over the top. I’d pop my cork for a straightforward homoerotic wrestling match to include even a tenth of the chemistry between these two. I’m nobody’s daddy, and I’m certainly not anyone’s boy, but this is a fine place to visit from time to time.

Vote Early, Vote Often

August 7, 2014 wrestlebardLeave a comment

I’m starting my campaign here and now to promote Kid Karisma for the Best Body of 2014 award. Holy shit, have you SEEN him in Undagear 22?! I’ve lost it just watching him warm up before Ray Naylor even strolls into the mat room. Wrestling Arsenal should be interested to take note of Kid K’s Doreanse designer underwear, considering his recent musings on the color baby blue on a wrestler. Karisma’s award winning ass has never looked as muscled and hot not even close to being squeezed into that fabric. And the ballast in his low-hanging pouch jostles and jiggles hypnotically. The separation of his pecs is incredible. There’s a ridged chasm running down his sternum that astounds me. I have no idea what he gets up to under the sheets, but if pec frot isn’t on the menu, then that chest is going to waste.

kk9 — Ray Naylor attempts to look unimpressed. Kid Karisma is unconvinced. I’m unconvinced.

Like his muscles, Kid K’s ego continues to swell bigger and bigger. “Who the fuck are you!?,” he spits contemptuously when Ray arrives. Ray seems put off his game in an instant. There’s an awkward moment of silence, and finally Ray growls back, “Who the fuck are you, tough guy?” Karisma belittles and taunts him like a tidal wave. Karisma offers to shake Ray’s hand. Ray instinctively reaches toward the offer of sportsmanship. Karisma slaps him in the face. There’s an instant of rage on Ray’s face, but Karisma is already distracting him again with another onslaught of intimidating trash talk, placing his hands behind his head and flexing his superhuman physique to add to Ray’s shock and awe. He points at the BG East logo and declares, “I fucking run this shit!” Ray flatly snaps, “You won’t by the end of this match.” Kid K flexes his Himalayan-esque right bicep. “The last time I checked, I probably will.”

kk7 — Round 1, the pose off, goes to Kid Karisma in a landslide.

They do a side by side pose off. Ray is ripped like my junk mail, but holy shit, he looks like a famine victim in comparison to the massive, meaty thickness and proportions of Kid Karisma. Ray can pretend to be unimpressed all he wants. There’s no way he isn’t in awe of the living sculpture flexing back at him. And I am not imagining things when I see a look of lust momentarily wash across the lean stud’s face. I’d say that Ray is just lucky to get an up close look at Kid K’s physical perfection, but I’m pretty sure the quick lick of Ray’s lips says it already.

kk11 — “What the fuck were you saying about my legs!?”

Ray is incredibly dangerous on the mats. Just ask Drake Marcos, who I’m certain is still paying chiropractic bills after their match ages ago. His height and reach advantage are not to be underestimated, because he knows what to do with them. When Kid K screws around and doesn’t even try to start with, Ray soon enough takes the hardbodied hunk to the mat and crushes his ripped gut in body scissors. “What the fuck were you saying about my legs!” Ray snarls angrily.

kk12 — Kid K hoists and carries Ray effortlessly and often.

Some physique stars strut into BG East and mistakenly think that gorgeous muscles will overcome wrestling skill (ahem, Kip Sorrell). However, Kid K is the paradigmatic example of what happens when you combine mouthwateringly gorgeous muscles, a boatload of experience, and an absolute certainty in his fate to dominate. Whatever Ray throws, Karisma muscles free and twists the lean stud into knots. I’ve never seen anything quite like when Karisma holds Ray suspended off the mat, upside down, pulling upward on Ray’s legs while holding his head trapped tightly between Kid K’s ankles. The stretch on Ray’s helpless body is phenomenal. Honestly, I’m convinced Kid K could have ripped him in half if he wanted to. But it’s so much more fun for everyone, especially Karisma, to catch and release in order to humiliate his opponent in more ways.

kk2 — Kid Karisma wants nothing more than Ray Naylor in a rage.

Ray spends days off of his feet. Karisma hoists him into the air over and over, fireman’s carry, lifts, suspended in bear hugs. Ray is tough and experienced, mind you, so getting manhandled seriously pisses him off. Which seems to be exactly Kid K’s point, over and over. He wants to get a rise out of him. He wants to poke and provoke him. He wants the stare down Ray’s adrenaline rush and fury, because nothing less could possibly stand of chance of being any competition. Not that Karisma thinks that Ray has any chance of being actual competition.

kk13 — Kid Karisma knows 12 ways to destroy an opponent from this position.

There are several innovative moments that makes me gush for Kid K all the harder. He’s nearly ripping Ray’s head off in a camel clutch. The stud is clearly moments away from submitting (or breaking). Karisma let’s go of Ray’s chin with his left hand, still in total control cranking back with his right, but with his left reaches back and snags Ray’s flailing right foot. Karisma muscles it upward and forward, applying unbelievable torque to Ray’s lower back. The sublime ecstasy on Kid K’s face says it all as he closes his eyes and rolls his head backward, feeling the moment of total domination and, clearly, grooving almost as hard on it as I am. When Ray holds out, Karisma releases his ankle and grabs hold of a fist full of Ray’s hair, yanking backward still harder. The veins in Ray’s forearms bulge as his entire body above the waist flushes dark red under the strain. Yeah, he gives. Of course he gives.

kk10 — Ray’s goes where I’d pay a premium to follow.

At one telling point they’re locked together, Kid K’s head trapped hard between Ray’s knees, Ray’s ribs crushed between Kid K’s gargantuan thighs. Karisma’s ass hovers in front of Ray’s face. Ray starts spanking that award winning ass. These two trade spanks A LOT throughout the match, and Ray’s ass looks like ground beef before the end. But in this moment, Ray pauses, stretches his fingers wide, and just feels the mass and power in the palms of his hands. If you’re going to get crushed and brutalized by Kid Karisma, for god’s sake, get a long, lustful feel of those glutes and legs!

kk5 — Kid Karisma feels the sweet thrill of victory right… there.

There’s ball crushing and brutality spilling over the edges everywhere, but in the end, Ray is flat on his back in a pool of both of their sweat (and quite a few of Ray’s tears). He’s had his last submission stomped out of him relentlessly. Kid Karisma stands over top of him, straddling his body, flexing, preening, crowing. Ray’s hands reach up and subtly stroke Karisma’s left leg perched on top of Ray’s chest. Whatever the rage, whatever bruised egos were involved, I think Ray would have to concede that getting crushed and humiliated by Kid Karisma has its upside. What Ray nor I could have seen coming, though, happens in the final 30 seconds of this match. As the camera lingers on Ray’s drenched, battered body, suddenly Kid K’s feet come back into frame. And then his sweat soaked designer baby blue underwear plops damply across Ray’s mouth. The camera snaps upward just in time to watch Kid Karisma’s naked backside strolling from the mat room. Maybe it was a last, gratuitous gesture of humiliation, or maybe it was the sexiest gift Kid Karisma has ever bestowed upon an opponent. As far as I’m concerned, it was both!

kk6 — Moments before the undagear comes off.

There are myriad reasons Kid Karisma continues to reign as my favorite homoerotic wrestler, and pretty much everyone of them is captured to perfection (like Ray Naylor) in Undagear 22.

kk15 — While I don’t have a BG East approved pic of Kid Karisma’s magnificent ass leaving the mat room in Undagear 22, I do have this Christmas present from Kid K from 2013. You get the idea.

More of That

August 6, 2014 wrestlebardLeave a comment

tabu2 — Tabu from the Island Brothers tag team

A couple of days ago Bruno posted a couple of pics of the week at Beefcakes of Wrestling that caught my eye. I tweeted out the link and asked for help identifying the slice of brutally beautiful heaven spreadeagled and sitting across the chest of some lucky, lucky bastard. A wrestling fan responded, using his best cyberstalker skills, and found that the photo was of one half of The Island Brothers, tag team champions at an operation in the UK called Grand Pro Wrestling. In particular, this is the brother Tabu.

Let me say again that this beefy beauty can sit on me anytime he’d like. Particularly if Tabu wears that single strap singlet squeezed so tight around every hot bulge and protrusion.

tabu3

I’ve found just one video of The Island Brothers publicly available. It appears to be shot by a fan, and only the other Island Brother (Rio) is shown actually wrestling. The video cuts out right when Tabu finally tags in. Bastards. The Grand Pro Wrestling site is very nicely put together. Great photos. More high quality promotional photos on their FB page. But the operation clearly targets a local UK audience with access to see their shows live. There’s a lot of beef in their roster, though. There would be a much broader audience interested, I’m certain.

No one wore the single strap singlet better than Kid Leopard. Perhaps that’s where I learned to associate that gear with hot, homoerotic wrestling kink.

The single strap singlet holds a place of deep affection for me. I’m not sure why, but it has somehow seemed twice as sexy than a traditional singlet. It probably has to do with the titillating glimpse of more skin. Whatever the case, my homoerotic wrestling kink gets kicked up 2 notches when there’s a hot, muscled body like Tabu’s squeezed inside a single strap singlet. In summary, let’s see much, much more of Tabu. More ripped hunks in single strap singlets. And more massive bulges shoved in supine studs’ faces.

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

August 5, 2014 wrestlebard5 Comments

I neglected to anoint a homoerotic wrestler of the month last month, but it’s not because there weren’t outstanding and eligible candidates. It was entirely do to my neglect (and ass-kicking travel schedule). To rectify the situation, I’m widening the field for the new reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month to include all of the new releases for the past 2 months. That makes this the homoerotic wrestler of the months, I suppose. Or of the summer. Whatever. Fuck semantics. Let me get down to business. I wrestled about twice as long comparing and contrasting twice the new releases, but I kept finding myself drawn back to what I found to be a surprising conclusion. This is a first-time HWOTM and someone I haven’t spent a ton of time writing about. But for reasons I’ll explain below, I decided that my new homoerotic wrestler of the month(s, summer) is…

…Trey Dixon.

trey10 — Trey makes Drake his bitch (so what’s new?…)

Somehow it feels to me like Trey has been around the scene for ages, but that’s just not the case. He’s wrestled a total of 3 times in BG East releases, and those have all been out less than a year. I’d consider him part of the sophomore class, but like I said, there’s a quiet confidence and maturity about the stunningly ripped stud that belies his relatively brief known (to me) wrestling resume. So seeing him in the ensemble cast of BG East’s early summer release Wet & Wild 7: Pool Tournament, I’m a little surprised to find myself so taken with him. Standing out among the crowd of contenders across all June/July wrestling releases is tough enough, but also standing out among 5 other sophomore class hunks seems like even more of an achievement.

trey7 — Babyheel Kayden Keller crushes Trey’s head between his hot, hairy thighs.

Wet & Wild 7 is a king-of-the-pool competition, so that at least makes sense to me as grabbing my attention. I love the drama of wins and losses and eliminations and best 2-out-of-3 to the title moments, and all of these are part of this fun romp. All 6 studs get their hands on each other at some point or another, but early going its clear that the hunk to beat is either going to be Trey or Mason Brooks. In the initial single elimination round robin, in fact, they’re the two left standing, but along the way, everyone has gotten into the act. Initially, the action is pulled directly from summer pool fights from my childhood, with the scramble taking place in the middle of the pool, punctuated repeatedly by humiliating dunks and long, slow, overpowering submissions.

trey2 — Mason likes the feel of Trey under his control.

In the initial one-and-out impromptu tournament, it’s the freshest man in the pool, Mason, who overcomes long, lean, tanned, beautiful Trey for the victory. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY is satisfied with smart-mouthed Mason simply taking the crown and walking away with it. Regular readers know that I’m more than a little infatuated with Mason, and though BG East doesn’t ask, I unilaterally award him Best Nipples of the Year every year. Mason is smart and quick witted and when victory goes to his head, no one around that pool is happy to concede he’s king of the pool.

What follows is a very fun fuck-the-rules free for all as the boys go to town on each other. Double teams batter every cocky stud, including Mason, down a notch or two. Mastered muscles are paraded around the pool for the combatants at poolside to indulge in some gratuitous slaps and punches and trash talk. There are sweet subplots of revenge enacted after earlier slights and humiliations. Personally, I’m struck by the stunningly hot contrasts when Trey returns to wolverinish, pale, hairy heel-in-training Kayden Keller to teach the babyheel a thing or two.

The moment in this match that haunts my dreams is after Trey has milked out a submission from Kayden. He turns to the rest of the boys sitting on the pool deck, and with supreme confidence he holds his arms out wide, inviting any and all to deny that he’s the fucking stud to beat. Trey says precious little in his matches, at least as far as verbal communication goes, but his non-verbals raise trash talk to new heights! His arms held out silently to his sides light a fire in my crotch that’s still burning a month and a half later!

Ultimately, Mason is as worn out as everyone else, and with the field a little more even, he and Trey agree to go 2 more falls to determine whether Mason truly is the pool bully of the day, or whether tanned beauty Trey is the rightful title holder.

trey15 — Trey’s got Mason right where I want him.

They’ve both tasted victory. They’ve both choked on humiliation. Absolutely having to win a fall or face the humiliation of going down 2 in a row, Trey turns into a wild animal. He swarms all over Mason, exploiting his long limbs and superior height to take advantage of the smart mouthed stud puppy. More and more the action spills out of the pool and onto the pool deck, which for someone like me who resents pool wrestling for how much remains unseen underwater, is a blessing.

trey14 — Tanned, toned, ripped muscle hunk Trey makes a convincing case for the king of the pool title.

Trey takes the equalizer, and the fierce look of determination on his face drives me nuts! Okay, that look along with his stunningly flexed muscles. And that hot bulge in his trunks. And the momentary desperation playing across Mason’s normally cocky face. The buzz cut, the all-over tan, the pump, the squeeze, the veins popping to the surface… Trey is picture perfect as the Lord of the Summer, the Poolside Bully Extraordinaire, the muscle-punk tamer, the champ.

trey11 — Mason turns the tables, and Trey struggles to keep his dreams of victory afloat.

There are depths to Mason Brooks, however, that we have yet to plumb. With the momentum heading Trey’s way, Mason finds gears that no one has ever even heard of. Trey spends days languishing between Mason’s gorgeous thighs. He throws his own offense, but finds the chess master Mason two steps ahead of him every time.

trey8 — Trey becomes Mason’s catch-of-the-day.

Slowly, it’s Mason’s fall to lose. Even the superhuman conditioning on Trey can’t stave off exhaustion as he battles the water weighing him down and his opponent gradually taking possession of his smoking hot body. Here’s where the real competition happens for today’s question, because this could be Mason’s HWOTM title for his part in this work of art. But what lingers in my mind’s eye is Trey selling the story of the poolside bully worn out, beat at his own game, and hung out to dry. Once a finely tuned muscle machine patrolling his waters like the primordial shark, Trey melts helplessly cracked across Mason’s knee, in the Virginian’s total control as Mason crushes his balls.

There’s this fantastic symmetry as Mason hoists Try up across his shoulders. Almost as if in cruel mockery of himself, Trey’s arms hang to his sides, palms up, the pool Messiah crucified in the same position with which he had summoned all challengers earlier in the afternoon to soak in the sight of his awesomeness and tremble at his taunting challenge.

trey16 — Mason let’s everyone take a crack at his new plaything.

Mason parades the once-mighty hunk around the perimeter of the pool for everyone who Trey had bullied to slap around and taunt. He is Mason’s possession to do with what he wills. That gorgeous tan. Those ripped muscles. That devastatingly handsome face. It all belongs to Mason. And everyone, even a begrudging Skrapper, has to admit that this day, this pool, this vanquished hunk, belongs to Mason.

trey17 — Trey’s worked up quite an appetite with all of that pool wrestling!

All six sun-kissed studs are torqued beyond tolerances by the extremely erotic action, and they all retire to the middle of the pool to luxuriate in the pumping adrenaline and hard bodies all around them. Again, Trey let’s his body do the talking, leaping into Ty Alexander’s arms as if Trey has been ravishingly hungry for a taste of adorable Ty all afternoon. Ty’s hands grab Trey’s ass underwater. Trey cradles the back of Ty’s head in his hands and locks lips, sucking face with a ferocity to match his wrestling performance.

I repeat, this is an ensemble piece and all six of these summer studs tell the story. But among all of the boys of summer, for the body, the beauty, and the balls, for everything he’s packing inside those trunks, for his unspoken trash talk, and for his perfect telling of power and domination spoiled and broken, my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month is Trey Dixon.

trey19 — Homoerotic Wrestler of the Summer, Trey Dixon.

August 2, 2014August 2, 2014 wrestlebard3 Comments

I enjoy a complex recipe of favorite veterans and promising newbies in what I look for in tasty homoerotic wrestling fare. Fresh blood piques my imagination, leaving me pondering who may become a familiar favorite over time and who could be a one hit wonder. Newbies are all promise and possibility, and there’s something exciting about remembering that tomorrow’s stars always start as untested unknowns vying for victory and, even more importantly, the affections of fans. The new mid-summer half-catalog release from BG East out yesterday is a beautiful example of mouthwatering staples sprinkled with spicy new faces to ignite the taste buds. To keep things unexpected and unpredictable, here are the beautiful hunks making their BG East debuts.

jakeno — Jakeno Enzi flexes his muscles and smirks as he debuts in Undagear 22 against a fellow BG East freshman. Have we seen this spicy hunk elsewhere, or is this a true homoerotic wrestling virginal appearance?

archer — Archer is Jakeno’s opponent in Undagear 22, far from unknown to homoerotic wrestling fans from his prior work with Thunder’s Arena. Dipping his toe into BG East waters is likely to pose smoking hot Archer new challenges and almost certainly open him up to a whole new cadre of adoring fans.

galen — Galen Welsh makes a big splash debuting opposite Braden Charron in Strip Stakes 4. Galen strikes me as super villain Bizarro to Brad Rochelle’s Superman. A keen eye will note we’ve seen Galen wrestling as Sandeus in Season 9 of Muscle Domination Wrestling, but he saves his biggest reveal thus far by going full monty for BG East fans.

richie — Aw, hell, get a load of sugary sweet babyface Richie Douglas who runs into Dr. Cooper’s scalpel in his Gut Bash 11 BG East debut. Talk about virginal! I’ve got two spoons ready to shovel in as much of hot young Richie as I can in one sitting, in case the evil side of Coop cuts short this beauty’s wrestling career.

Throwback Thursday

July 31, 2014 wrestlebard2 Comments

What is “vintage?” Of the available definitions I can find, the only one that fits as an adjective for homoerotic wrestling is “representing the high quality of a past time.” I don’t think that really captures what gets collected as vintage erotic wrestling pics and video, but I don’t have a better definition. A lot in that genre is black and white, but not all. A lot feature the legendary “pouch” gear, but not all. Whatever it is, I seem to know it when I see it, and it has a hard wired hotline to my crotch. Here are a few examples that turn my crank with both hands, all found filed under “vintage,” in honor of the randomness of “Throwback Thursday.”

	wrestlebard on Chaos Demons
	wrestlebard on You Want a Body Like This
	wrestlebard on You Want a Body Like This
	Chris H on Chaos Demons
	Chris H on You Want a Body Like This