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Best of 2013

January 18, 2014 wrestlebard1 Comment

I’m a bad gay, I realize, but I hate awards shows. I like seeing who won awards the next day, mind you, but I have no patience for the pretensions of red carpets and tearful speeches and what passes for entertaining song and dance numbers. That said, I’d be glued to my television if BG East ever decided to produce an awards show to unveil their year-end viewer’s choice poll winners… particularly if the song and dance numbers were an occasional tuxedo rip ‘n’ strip match center stage. Short of that, I am enjoying pouring over the just announced winners of the BG East Best Of 2013s, comparing where I run with the pack and where I’m clearly a lone wolf.

kip — Scorching hot Kip Sorell knows how to make an entrance as 2013’s Debut of the Year.

Running with the pack, I voted with the majority in selecting Kip Sorell as debut of the year. That said, I would like to think that Lane Hartley might be severely pissed to be passed over, requiring a severe and brutal beating of epically pretty Kip. Fingers crossed…

eli — Eli Black’s abs are outstanding, earning him most votes for Best Abs of 2013.

Best abs to Eli Black for me and you for the second year in a row. Eli is an anatomy chart, so it’s hard not to see what we’re all looking at. That said, I think this category is one of the most competitive, and Eli’s abs surely have earned a big, bright target painted on them by the many worthy also-rans.

Here’s KL awarding the 2012 prize to KK’s ass. Now 2 years running, Kid Karisma’s epic ass takes top prize in 2013.

Two years running, I and the majority have inescapably concluded that Kid Karisma’s ass is simply the best in the business. That world class ass is just one of the top reasons that Kid K wrestled the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler away from Lon Dumont late in 2013. Last year, runner-up Cameron Matthews complained bitterly about being passed over for this one. In that proposed awards show in the future, I believe it would be only fair to see all of the finalists asses displayed, immediately prior to the winner’s announcement, followed closely by a bareassed beatdown in a pit of oil.

eli2 — Eli and Cameron’s Mat Hunks 9 match was outstanding!

I and the majority agreed that the best mat battle (by far, in my estimation) was Cameron’s incredibly sexy and intense tussle with Eli in Mat Hunks 9. Wowza! The chemistry between these two totally took me by surprise, and I believe both of these amazing studs brought out the very best in one another. Simply incredible match!

jonny — Jonny Firestorm and Drake Marcos obliterated the competition for Best Squash as Jonny obliterated Drake in Custom Combat.

I personally felt that there was no real competition for Best Squash. Whether the voting was as much a squash as Custom Combat, I don’t know, but one way or another, the majority of voters agreed with me in picking Jonny’s infinite variations on a squashing theme all over sweetly suffering Drake Marcos.

Miss any of these? Shame on you. Now is your chance to redeem yourself, though, because BG East is offering the products of all of the winning matches at a 25% discount for the remainder of this month. I’ll comment later on where my tastes diverged with the herd, but my ballot ran about 33% with winners in this year’s polling. All these hunks are over the top winners in my book, and I hope that accolades and praise go straight to their heads, requiring extensive drama and punishment to knock them back down to size.

Fashion Friday

January 17, 2014 wrestlebard3 Comments

Thanks to a couple of readers, we have some more cutting edge fashion decisions yet to make when it comes to homoerotic wrestling gear. Homoerotic wrestling “success” operates on so many levels, of course. There’s the ostensible “winner” who has either scored the most falls or, at the very least, is the last man standing. There’s the most accomplished wrestling sell, where regardless of who is has his hand raised in the end, either wrestler may have been most adept at telling the most convincing story of domination or submission, brutality dished out or suffering embodied. And of course there’s always the gay man’s fallback competition: who’s got the hottest body. But perhaps winner for the most superficial and secondary contest in any homoerotic wrestling competition is “who wore it best?”.

This week’s poll comes to us via the sharp eye for fashion from neverland’s most frequent guest blogger, Alex. Alex points out that three hot and popular wrestlers all wore the same white trunks with blue trim while wrestling for BG East. Dynamo Cameron Matthews worked this gear like the pro he is in Tag Team Torture 9. Vinny Trevino was a vision of muscled beauty in the same trunks in Demolition 6. And incredibly popular babyface hero Justin Pierce sported the same fashion in Demolition 9. I’ll presume to speak for the entire world of homoerotic wrestling fanatics when I say that each of them rocked these trunks. But I leave it up to you to determine who wore it best. Check out the options and then vote below.

fashioncam — Cameron Matthews hardly needs back up when it comes to making these trunks work like a champ in **Tag Team Torture 9.**

fashionvinny — Vinny Trevino is the epitome of a muscle hunk wrestler in Demolition 6, but of the options, did he wear these trunks best?

fashionjustin — Few homoerotic wrestlers ever made the splash that achingly pretty Justin Pierce made, but in **Demolition 9**, did he wear this particular gear choice best?

Trunk Pull Tuesday

January 14, 2014 wrestlebardLeave a comment

It never hurts to have a little extra leverage to get the job done. Well, it doesn’t hurt unless you’re the job getting done…

trunkpullkl — A classic image of the master at work: **Kid Leopard** grabs hold of anything he wants on Sailor Rob.

jonnytrunkpull — Jonny Firestorm doesn’t need the extra leverage, but he just enjoys adding that much more humiliation and brutality as he pounds gorgeous Z-man into jelly in **Hunkbash 14**.

trunkpullaryx — I’ve been longing to see what’s under Muscle Mask’s trunks for years. Leave it to Aryx Quinn to give us a sneak peak in **Masked Mayhem 11**.

trunkpulljose — Because a 2-on-1 mugging isn’t advantage enough, Jose also nearly rips Patrick Donovan’s trunks off as he winds up for another crushing blow in **Tag Team Torture 1**.

Super Hot

January 13, 2014 wrestlebard2 Comments

flex — Once vanquished by a super fiend, Flex has been technologically recreated, perhaps bulging even bigger than before and looking wicked, wicked sexy! Like me, Flex likes what he sees.

It’s literally been years since I checked out Eye of the Cyclone, but for the life of me I’m not sure why it’s been so long. The site is an awesome blend of superhero comic geekiness and gay wrestling fetish. Since my last visit, Eye of the Cyclone’s archives have expanded like the pouch in the new Flex’s skin tight lycra supersuit. I’ve signed on as a new member and within the past week spent hours consuming the stories and images like a prepubescent mo sucking down Jolt cola and comic books on a Thursday afternoon.

interceptor — Interceptor’s flexing guns and bulging… well, everything… make me want to turn villainous just so he’ll have to come chase me down!

Neil at EOTC has given me permission to post some pics and gush a little, so cheers to Neil. There are now no fewer than 80 super character profiles that offer dozens of gorgeous photos each, along with each character’s alter egos, super powers, weapons, and backstory. For example, the Interceptors are five clones of the same scorching hot Italian helicopter pilot, who became a devastating fighting machine with the help of better living through super-genetic chemistry. Encased in blue lycra with a bold “i” across his bulging chest, each interceptor is one hot, hot hunk of a muscled stud out to fight the good fight for justice.

toxic — Need more henchmen, Toxic? Damn, stud! Sign me up!

In one of the newest comic book style stories on EOTC, Interceptor II (of V) answers the alarm, rushing to the site of a suspicious warehouse with ominous looking technology. He discovers arch villain Toxic dragging another superhero muscle hunk into his warehouse, unconscious and at the super villain’s mercy. He watches as Toxic hooks a wicked looking hose to the captured hunk’s hose, then another up the beefy ass of the bound bear. Never fear, though, because Interceptor II intervenes, knocking hottie Toxic away, but a second too late. The machine is turned on, and the captured stud begins to be transformed. Before Interceptor can free the captured hunk, Toxic is on him, and a beautiful battle of muscles and virtue ensues. Who wins? Who loses? Who’s double teamed, groped ravenously, and appears to be on his way to have those hoses attached to him next? You’ll have to sign up for Eye of the Cyclone to see.

In addition to the character profiles and serial superhero comic book style stories, there’s a much smaller section of live action video clips, and another section of more straightforward wrestling serial stories (which often star superheroes as well). There’s an awesome variety of bodies, from big, burly bears with big, sexy bellies to ripped gym bunny bodies. The whole thing has tongue firmly in cheek on the one hand, but told with an earnestness that’s absolutely sexy as hell. Under the current exchange rate, you can get one month for about $14.60 or 3 months for about $32, both subscription rates recurring (though they have a nice big “cancel subscription here” button on all their pages, for those worried about ease of cutting the cord). I’ve got a crush on Interceptor (all 5 of them, I’m sure), the newly revived/recreated Flex, and handsome hunk Powerpecs, not to mention vile and beautiful Toxic, all of whom star in the most recently released serials. This is something different, something unique, and has a sexy, funny authenticity about it that’s stroking me hard. Check them out and tell them to send one of these super hunks (heroes or villains) my way, because I’m now dying to get my hands all over one… or at least interview one.

More Masonry

January 10, 2014 wrestlebardLeave a comment

Somebody’s watching me… or is it the other way around?

I’m not sure if Mason Brooks is stalking me or if I’m stalking Mason, but every time I turn around, the thinking-man’s homoerotic wrestler is there. Debuting with BG East merely a year ago or so, Mason has since given me an interview, sent me Christmas presents, commanded star treatment in my homoerotic wrestling imagination, and now he’s also showing up at Movimus.

In his recently released match against “Case Thornton,” (aka, Ethan “Axel” Andrews… how many names can one stud use!?), Mason is intensely aggressive and full throttle. His ass in those lime green skimpy trunks is nearly enough to distract me from his ever-hypnotic nipples.

Unfortunately for Mason, he’s in over his head, getting out hustled and outmaneuvered by one of the most experienced wrestlers in the online wrestling scene. He gets that sweet, lime green clad ass spanked by the appropriately confident “Case,” getting schooled convincingly. He gives away the first fall to an arm bar before CT (aka EAA) can snap it off at the elbow. The second fall is a who’s got whom situation, with both lean bodies wrapped up so tightly it’s a little difficult to tell whose body part belongs to whom, but it’s the chokehold wrapped around Mason’s throat that makes his face blush dark red and his hand tap out. In the final fall, he goes down to a figure-4 choke that manages to also nearly rip his right arm out by the shoulder socket.

mason303 — CT(EAA) rides Mason relentlessly

The boys are sportsmanly and playful in the end, demonstrating that whatever the drama on the mat, these two fucking love to wrestle. There’s nothing overtly erotic in this match up between two hunks who have overtly erotic elements on their wrestling resumes, which is, of course, totally fine. Erotically minded wrestlers can compete and kick ass just like non-erotically minded boys can. But apart from trunks wedged high up between ass cheeks, erotic wrestling fans should know that this is sweetly competitive and an intense chess match, but not “gay” in anything but subtext and what the viewer brings with him.

Mason continues to entertain and arouse me, and if he’s the one doing the stalking, all I have to say is, “Keep it up, stud.” Now, I need to get back to obsessively combing the internet for any sign or sighting of Mason and his nipples…

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

January 9, 2014 wrestlebard2 Comments

I didn’t see a lot of new releases in December, but I’ll go ahead and call out one wrestler that revved my engine hardest. I’ve made no secret that I have quite a crush on this beautiful slice of beef, but he’s just been getting sexier and sexier in every new release I see. I love his look. I enjoy his character(s). And watching him teeter between dominating power and dashed dreams is one of the hottest narratives around these days. Crossing the line between 2013 and 2014, my newest homoerotic wrestler of the month is…

vlcsnap-2014-01-09-09h52m35s222

…daddy’s boy Damien Rush.

vlcsnap-2014-01-09-09h50m37s92 — The Suit knows how to revive a battered hunk like Damien: mount his ass as get your hands on every inch of his hot bod!

I wouldn’t say his new release for MDW, Super Men 1.4 is his sexiest, but it certainly plays to his strengths. Damien is the unlucky son of a bitch who inherited the title of Super Stud when the original Super Stud retired to go full time in the world of corporate intrigue. Villainy has corrupted the smooth transition from one virtuous superhero to the other, however, and the original Super Stud has been transformed into the height of unstoppable villainy, Super Heel. Super Heel (played by Muscle Master Kevin) has been snuffing out would-be heroes (and all together innocent bystanders) one by one, slowly building toward the climax of meeting his protege, Damien’s Super Stud, in a fight to the death. Damien was saved from near destruction in the last chapter of this series by the mysterious “Suit,” who revives and reinvigorates Damien’s battered super body in the only proper manner: maximum physical touch. I hear ya, Suit.

vlcsnap-2014-01-09-09h52m06s17 — Beauty and power

Once massaging and stroking Damien’s hot bod has brought the beautiful stud back to full strength, Suit convinces Damien that the only chance he will have to defeat the overwhelming power of Super Heel is to beat him at his own game, namely taking a performance-enhancing elixir that will challenge the virtuous Damien to hold onto his bearings on right and wrong. With that and the promise to double team Super Heel, Damien eats of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and finds himself at 200% of full strength. Shirtless, he flexes his hot muscles, and I’m reminded all over again what instantly attracts me to Damien. He has a classically beautiful body. He’s sweetly proportioned. He sports an impeccably groomed hairy chest. His shoulders are insanely wide, and his lips are screaming out for someone to suck every super sexy ounce out of this handsome hero.

vlcsnap-2014-01-09-09h55m29s216 — Damien’s face is buried in Muscle Master Kevin’s armpit.

Suit abandons Damien in the ring when it’s clear that Super Heel Kevin will easily destroy them both. This is a squash to end all squashes, and I don’t think that stars in squashes typically get the HWOTM nod from me. That simply points to just how hard Damien moves me, as Super Heel effortlessly manhandles Damien’s tasty bod. The cape pisses me off, because it too often obscures a clear view of Damien’s sweet ass, squeezed so earnestly inside that shiny, breathtakingly tight super suit. But for so little visible skin, the latex and lycra leaves little to the imagination, and I’m entranced by watching Damien suffer like the studly, astonished, can’t-believe-I’m-being-owned corrupted Super Stud he is.

vlcsnap-2014-01-09-09h56m40s159 — Super Stud cannot fathom how all of his virtue and strength is being so effortlessly obliterated.

Super Heel has Damien’s life in his hands from start to finish. He plays with his outmatched imitation. He delivers that non-stop villainous, dominating, humiliating, taunting monologue that MDW specializes in. It’s too easy for Kevin for him to be the character that moves me in this match. But Damien sells his suffering in a way that grabs me by my balls. Damien pleads and begs. He weeps and wails. All of that beautiful, powerful physique he sports is wasted and crushed. He’s terrorized and in agony. He’s pristinely vulnerable in a way that a hot, horny, handsome young hunk like Damien should never expect to be. And that’s the sexiest part of all: dashed expectations, crushed dreams, power and beauty pounded into oblivion.

vlcsnap-2014-01-09-09h56m27s61 — Super Stud II may be toast, but Damien Rush continues to fight another day as my reigning Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month!

Damien rocks me hard, and in December, he rocked me hardest. His character may be snuffed out like so many would-be heroes before him, but he lives on the hearts and minds of those of us who could never get enough of that hot, sculpted ass encased in lycra. Super Stud II may be dead, but Damien Rush lives on as my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month.

Get Literate!

January 7, 2014 wrestlebard4 Comments

route69ben — “Ben” co-stars in Alex’ series, Route 69

You may not realize it, but 2013 was the year of homoerotic wrestling fiction. About a year ago, I backed off of my hobby of writing homoerotic wrestling fiction, primarily to devote more time to this blog. But far from signaling the demise of the homoerotic wrestling fiction groups I run, we ended up posting more than 30 new, incredibly hot stories! How does this math add up, you ask? It adds up with the help accomplished authors with a keen sense of wrestling kink willing to share their work for the pleasure of the community.

route69jeff — The other co-star of Route 69, Jeff.

I can’t thank author Alex enough for the incredible quality, not to mention quantity of new pieces of homoerotic wrestling fiction he has contributed. Alex has authored 3 barn-burner, crowd pleasing series in the Sidelineland group, including one set in the world of 80’s indy pro wrestling (AWL), another set in a very contemporary online superhero themed gay wrestling site (The Cave), and a third set, well, all over the place, as an homage to the 1960’s buddy adventure television series, Route 66, only the stars of Alex’ Route 69 are stunningly chiseled homoerotic wrestlers. Alex alone accounts for more than 20 of the new pieces of homoerotic wrestling fiction posted in 2013!

joshhutcherson — CelebWrestleFan’s (and my) muse, Josh Hutcherson is pumped and primed.

Alex has not only inspired countless homoerotic wrestling fans to read, but he’s also been a catalyst for new authors to come on board last year. CelebWrestleFan has contributed now 3 Hollywood hunk battles starring my personal infatuation, Josh Hutcherson. Another Alex, Alex R. has begun a series of postmodern, brutal gladiator-for-hire elimination tournament matches called Muscle Feast. And Axel has contributed the start of a new series, Celebrity Wrestling Federation. JobberinNYC also posted an achingly sweet match entitled, The Bartender.

whasnext — Darius “the Black Muscle God” inspires my homoerotic wrestling fantasies.

Today, I’ve also posted my first new piece in many, many months, entitled The Champ. It was inspired by the most flattering request I’ve ever had: Darius “the Black Muscle God” asking me to write him into one of my stories. I was honored and nearly paralyzed by the pressure not to disappoint a stunningly hot wrestling hunk like Darius!

I went fishing for a suitable opponent for this match-up, and my first choice, Mason Brooks, was ready, willing, and able. Both Darius and Mason provided me boatloads of incredibly hot photos to illustrate the match. In fact, truth be told, I found myself repeatedly distracted by the mountain of sexy pics they provided. I’m not complaining, mind you! Just pointing out that these two studs are not just sexy as hell, but also incredibly generous, and they’re damn good sports for allowing me to fictionalize them.

I don’t know what 2014 holds for homoerotic wrestling fiction, but I’m bullish. I’ve already got a cue in my inbox of new contributions! If you aren’t a member of the Sidelineland or Producer’s Ring homoerotic wrestling fiction groups, get literate!

Twelfth Day of Christmas

January 5, 2014 wrestlebard4 Comments

I received no cards in the mail for the eleventh day of Christmas, which made me sad that the festivities and parade of homoerotic wrestling hunk greetings were over. However, today I received a twelfth day of Christmas greeting that, frankly, makes up for missing yesterday. Mason Brooks has appeared in no more than two BG East matches, yet somehow he figures disproportionately prominently among my wrestling infatuations. He’s got a wicked smart sense of humor, which, when figured on top of the tally of his hot body plus handsome face plus stunningly sexy nipples, along with a clear passion for the arousing arts of wrestling, it all adds up to one of the most promising new faces on the scene. Mason’s new year greeting captures all of that and more!

Mason, I guarantee I’ve got my eye on you this year, and if any of your conquests take you up on the offer to celebrate Saturnalia with you, I sincerely hope you’ll send photos. As for that impressive candle you’ve got there, just let me know if you need any help topping off your wick. It looks like your hands are full, and I’m available for another Roman festival, the Bachanalia. I truly cannot wait to see more of you in 2014!

Friday Fashion

January 3, 2014 wrestlebard4 Comments

fashioncortez — Rodriguez Cortez wore it best!

I cannot think of another word to describe it, other than “an upset.” Rodriguez Cortez came from behind to put Morgan the Mastodon Cruise in second place! With 50.6% of the vote to Morgan’s 45.2%, Rodriguez won the balloting for which of these hot studs wore those red and black trunks best. If this gets back to Morgan, Rodriguez better watch that fine ass of his, because if there’s one thing I know about the Mastodon, it’s that he is not a graceful loser!

crotez — Rodriguez makes that pair of trunks look sexy even when he’s just taking out the trash!

I’m working on a few projects around neverland today and tomorrow, so I haven’t done my due diligence, vetting more homoerotic wrestlers who’ve been captured by the cameras wearing the same gear. So there’s no fresh Friday Fashion poll today, but I’d love to see in the comments your suggestions of future Friday Fashion poll subjects. Who have you seen in the same gear, who needs to throw down in the arena of public opinion? Let me know by commenting to this post.

Tenth Day of Christmas

January 3, 2014 wrestlebardLeave a comment

The Boss at BG East has been a generous and kind friend of neverland since its inception, which is a little ironic, considering his severe brutality and lack of compassion to every wrestling opponent he’s ever laid eyes on. He has gently, but firmly, helped me with course corrections here and there, and when the mood strikes him, he’s an outstanding volunteer copy editor. So I was not exactly surprised when Kid Leopard dropped off a year-end batch of behind-the-scenes photos, because he knows full well my intense infatuation with seeing what the BG East boys look like when the video cameras are on pause. KL is nothing if not an enigmatic figure, however, as demonstrated by the absence of a message to go with the presents he delivered. The only words on the subject of the holidays that I’ve heard from him this season have been an unequivocal (and I’m quoting), “Bah! Humbug!” Now that sounds like The Boss to me! In any case, here are some year-end treats especially for me, but I’ll let you enjoy them as well…

Without more context, I’m guessing that this is KL and Jonny Firestorm watching the hairy-chested shirtless scenes in 3D of Henry Cavill as the 2013 Man of Steel.

Again, I’m going out on a limb because of the absence of backstory, but I’m going to say this is a couple of Kids (Kid Leopard and Kid Jean-Luc Picard) in costume to terrorize small children and steal their candy at Halloween. Regardless, I guarantee you that I’m having Star Trek homoerotic wrestling dreams tonight!

And this mysterious photo is clearly of yet-to-be released BG East newbie, Ty, getting some humiliating discipline at the wrong end of someone’s boot and camera. I don’t know if this is the Boss’ response to me taking an immediate shine to melt-in-your-mouth Ty, or whether this is what happened to the babyface as a result of Ty sending me a holiday greeting card without the Boss’ permission. Either way, I say hell, yeah!

With Kid Leopard at the helm, BG East has been fueling my erotic fantasies for most of my adult life, and there are just no words of gratitude sufficient to thank him for his artistry, imagination, and wrestling genius. I’d offer him best wishes for the coming year, but having seen a sneak preview of what he’s been cooking up at recent tapings, what’s the point? He’s going to take 2014 and wring every ounce of blood, sweat and cum out of it, and serve it up to you and me like only he can. “Thanks,” just doesn’t cover it, Kid Leopard!

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