I know, I know. It’s Saturday, not Friday. But with time off work mid-week, my internal calendar is all screwed up, and today feels either like Friday or Sunday. Yesterday felt definitely like Saturday or, possibly, Thursday. Just put away the calendar, read this post in the voice of Joan Rivers, and enjoy this make-up Fashion Friday breakdown.
Eli Black wore it best.
I think I’d have a psychotic break with reality should I ever see Eli Black and Lon Dumont square off in the ring, because my conflicting loyalties would rip me into pieces. However, when it comes to which of these hot hunks wore the POW!-in-the-ass trunks best, neverland readers have spoken, and they spoke decisively. By a vote of 68 to 44, you declared that it was Eli Black who wore them best. Eli will be the first to tell you that his ass is irresistibly sexy, so the graphic on these trunks just say what we’re all thinking. As for me and my divided loyalties, I’m withholding judgment until I get to see them both in, then out, of these trunks… in the ring… in an all-in naked battle for the gear.
Today’s Fashion Friday poll draws from the newest kids on the homoerotic wrestling production block, Muscle Domination Wrestling. I count three very different wrestling hunks who packed themselves inside a certain pair of red, white and black leatherish mid-rise trunks. Rodriguez Cortez slid his incredibly, hot, beefy, smooth bod in them twice in season 5 and once in season 6. Hunky twink Enrique then had the audacity to show up in the same trunks twice in season 6 and then twice again in season 7. And finally, the most recent and imposing character from MDW to wear this bad boys was none other than the Mastodon himself, Morgan Cruise, in season 7. These are three very different wrestlers with very different body types, so I’m guessing you should have a clear opinion one way or the other or the other. These are also three very different qualities of photography, so I hope that won’t sway your vote. My wishes for 2014 include MDW taking higher quality photographs and including a searchable wrestler roster with stats to better tease their wrestlers and matches. There’s a lot to consider here, but the real question you need to ask yourself is who wore it best?
Beefy, smooth, bronze muscle boy Rodriguez Cortez fills these trunks out delectably. He’s a vision in red, white and black, but did he wear it best?
Lean ‘n’ hunky beauty Enrique strikes a stunningly different figure in the same gear. He unquestionably wore them most often, but did he wear them best?
Morgan “the Mastodon” Cruise seldom loses at anything, particularly not in the ring. But when it comes to fashion, is he the winner of who wore these trunks best?
Getting year-end greeting cards from heels is intense! Yet another friend of neverland and intensely arousing homoerotic wrestling heel, Cage Thunder, dropped off this new year’s promise and wish for us all. 2013 was not only the year that Cage Thunder published a smoking hot homoerotic wrestling novel, Going Down for the Count, be he was also unmasked by the only stud man enough to do it: Cage Thunder himself. So what better way to ring in the new year but with an unmasked Cage Thunder selfie and the promise of countless brutal returns in 2014.
You’ve seen my dick, now you’ve seen my face. Prepare to be awed and thunderstruck in 2014, bitches. May you have the New fucking Year you deserve. – Cage Thunder
Thanks for hours of reading and viewing entertainment, Cage Thunder!
The hits just keep coming, as the wrestler who owned the #1 spot here at neverland almost all of 2013 dropped this little gem off for me and you. Well, at least me. As the self-appointed president of the Lon Dumont fan club, I consider myself included in Lon’s “me and mine.” As far as that goes, I’m ready to be Lon’s anything, anywhere, anytime, especially in 2014. I both pity and desperately envy the suckers destined to get their blocks knocked off by longtime friend of neverland, Lon Dumont!
As we celebrate the holidays and prepare for the new year, I think it’s of paramount importance that we keep in mind the things that truly matter (read: me, and my array of tights), and consider the plight of the less fortunate (read: the countless scores of homoerotic punks whose heads I will kick free from their shoulders in 2014). Allow me to wish the happiest of new years to me and mine.
You may qualify as part of Lon’s “me and mine” if you vote for him for best abs, best ring match, and/or best match of 2013, but honestly, of course, that’s up to Lon.
Muscle Domination Wrestling has recently released season 7, and there are some great surprises there. One of the biggest surprises for me was seeing big, beautiful Braden Charron in what appears to be a squash glove fetish match. I haven’t seen it yet, but I was unable to resist getting my eyes on the climactic season finale of the Super Men saga. Muscle Master Kevin and Damien Rush starring in a superhero ring match!? I’m there.
Damien Rush as Super Stud II gets his hot body worked over to reinvigorate him for one last shot at defeating Super Heel.
For those who have not watched the entire series, this finale is the culmination of intrigues piled upon intrigues, betrayals and corruption, and one incredibly hot superhero after another getting conquered and crushed by the original Super-Stud-turned-evil, Super Heel. The mysterious time traveling hunk in a mask and a black bodysuit, The Suit, got more than he bargained for when he tricked Super Stud into drinking Alpha Male juice. So Suit rescues hunky Super Stud II, Damien Rush, peels him out of his super suit (hell, yes), and begins giving him a full body massage to rejuvenate the battered hero for another go at his nemesis.
The Suit cannot keep his hands off of Super Stud’s pumped muscles!
He gives Damien’s sweet ass particularly loving attention with a deep muscle massage that leaves Damien groaning and soaking up Suit’s promise to give him the strength and the ally he needs to beat the evil Super Heel once and for all. He gives Super Stud II his newest, most potent “serum,” so-called “heel juice” which Damien swallows enthusiastically as The Suit strokes himself with excitement. When a newly rejuvenated, more pumped than every Super Stud II starts to flex his newly invigorated muscles, Suit can’t keep his hands off them, which seems to do nothing but stoke Damien harder and more intense.
Super Stud II yet again finds himself on his knees at the feet of Super Heel.
The unlikely tag team partners are full of confidence when they arrive ringside to put Super Heel in his place once and for all. True enough, the opening test of strength appears to be a stalemate, with advantage veering toward the double team’s way as Suit freezes time and pounds Super Heel’s vulnerable, frozen muscles. This is the first real challenge posed to the evil-consumed Super Heel. Could the deal-with-the-devil tag team have finally dialed up the super villain’s number? Oh fuck no! Super Heel isn’t using even 2% of his Alpha Male super villain strength. When he really tries, all he has to do his flex his hot, lycra-encased muscles and both Super Stud II and The Suit are dropped to their knees.
Super Heel is in the driver’s seat, ripping Super Stud’s arms out at the shoulder.
The Suit is nearly choke-slammed right out of this world. Even as Super Stud II pleads with him to rally, the self-serving hunk in black freezes time and flees the scene, leaving Super Stud II at the mercy of the malevolence and sadism of Super Heel. Those who know MDW already know the tone of a Muscle Master Kevin squash. There’s a non-stop monologue of the blue-eyed, whisker-faced babyface badboy, describing his destiny for domination even as he rips Super Stud’s hot, doomed body apart joint by going.
A head scissors/hair pull demonstrates how effortlessly in control Super Heel is.
Super Stud suffers long and hard, more and more humiliated with each passing second. These are two of my favorite bodies locked in intimate, punishing holds, with lavish loads of taunting and verbal torment making equal parts delicious cake and sweet icing. There’s a poignant moment when Super Stud II pleads for the Suit to return, to come to his rescue. His mental anguish is almost as sexy as his corporal punishment. Please, please, he begs for Suit to return to the fray. He doesn’t.
Damien’s lycra clad ass steals several scenes!
A few meta-narrative notes to share: Damien’s ass squeezed into a metallic lycra super suit nearly converts me to a full on lycra fetishist. That. Ass! There’s also something almost supernatural (coincidentally) about how brightly Kevin’s incredibly blue eyes shine next to Damien’s blue bodysuit. Technically, the wrestling is second to the narrative in this match, so serious wrestling fans should be cautioned: this is much more aimed at kitsch, superhero, and lycra kinks than it’s directly aimed at wrestling fanatics. But that said, Damien is suffering more convincingly every time I see him. Muscle Master Kevin’s sell of the effortless demigod is almost too convincing. I’m more moved by hot, dominating effort than such a squash that the boy on top would never break a sweat in a million years. But there are enough lingering scissors, chokes, and just enough slams filling up the ring to keep me on board.
Vanquishing the babyface hero
Finally, I want to note that Muscle Domination Wrestling is starting to distinguish themselves as boy geniuses in the business, not for their world class sells, not for a particularly innovative business model, not for production quality… but for vocabulary. There’s a strong whiff of college nerds turned wrestling hunks about this match. What other homoerotic wrestling match do you know of that includes dialogue featuring words such as “dystopia,” “temerity,” and “hubris.” Over the top macho domination and a well-read, $20-word chatter is a sweet combination that makes me smile.
Oh, and back to the narrative, don’t push “stop” when the scene fades to black. There’s a post-script stinger with the appearance of a furry, naked ass getting slipped into gray lycra. A new super character slowly turns, revealing himself, looking like someone who’s ready to pose a new and serious challenge to Super Heel for evil world domination. I smell a season 2!
So far, I’ve heard no word of any BG East boys turning up in an emergency room after being found out as our man inside, the source of these smuggled pics from a recent BG East taping. Whoever you are, I’m wishing you good health and long life, and dinner is my treat if you survive long enough for us to ever meet! For the rest of you, here are the final shots that our man inside has shared from the Florida sunshine.
Drake and Mason look like alligators hungrily eyeing their prey, aka yet-to-be released rookie Ty. Was this poolside scene all about between-match fun, or was there some sort of Wet ‘n’ Wild free for all caught on motion camera? It seems we’ll have to wait and see.
I’m thrilled to see that Skrapper was also on site, looking hunkier than ever and in need of a certain blogger to liberally lather him up with suntan lotion. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: pound for pound, I think Skrapper may be the most potent and fiercest homoerotic wrestler ever caught on camera. And a Miami Vice five o’clock shadow makes him look even sexier!
It doesn’t surprise me at all to see that Skrapper draws a crowd, and rookie-on-fire Trey Dixon looks like an ideal candidate to meet the buzz saw that is Skrapper on the mats.
I don’t know what it says about our mystery man inside that the most frequently photographed hunk in this batch of contraband photos is the thinking man’s homoerotic wrestler, Mason Brooks. Strike that. I do know that it says that our man inside has exquisite taste in rookie hunks. However, I still don’t know what it says about the identity of the man behind the camera.
Mason’s pecs are looking meatier and meatier, and I assume I don’t need to point out yet again just how sexy his nipples are. You don’t have an option to vote for “Best Nipples” in the BG East Year End Awards poll, so I’m unilaterally declaring Mason the winner. Deal with it.
I believe our secret photog also has a thing for luscious preview-hottie, Ty, because his hot, bronzed body shows up a whole lot as well. My guess is that the upperclassmen were lined up for their shot at this beautiful babyface. I hope that he’s tougher than he looks, because with the other cast of characters on hand, there’s a whole heap of hurtin’ in store for this beauty.
The shadows and low-def resolution on this final pic leave me guessing, but I’m pretty sure that this is Drake Marcosand Skrapper in what appears to be a tongue wrestling match. Or they may have just recreated the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp (any ideas which is the Tramp?). Or they both have new tongue piercings that just got entangled. I’m just not certain.
These smuggled behind-the-scenes pics of BG East boys probably raise more questions than they answer, but it’s a thrill to see a hint of what’s yet to be revealed from BG East. To our man inside, our sincere thanks, and I’m serious about dinner being on me… if you dare reveal your identity!
The Christmas cards keep rolling in, demonstrating over and over that homoerotic wrestlers are both the hottest and most generous hunks on the planet. Today the mailman dropped this intensely provocative work of performance art in my inbox, postmarked from the Cheshire Cat of homoerotic wrestling, Drake Marcos. Drake’s year-end wishes include a little something for you, a little something for me, and an unabashed bid for votes in BG East’s Best of 2013 poll.
The cover of Drake’s card is straightforward enough:
Open up the card, and Drake’s got more gifts to share:
To those of you following my exploits, thank you. I told you I was just getting started. Hold your loved ones close (and your kinks closer!) as the new year approaches, and get ready for the new breed of BG as we turn the heat up in the coming year. Nobody does it better. And Bard? I have an ass kicking for you sitting under my tree, come and get it. -Drake Fucking Marcos
Right back at you, stud! I’m dying to know who you have wrapped up under your tree, because I simply can’t believe an epic jobber like you is prepared to cash in on a promise like that yourself. Perhaps if you win a BG award this year (Jobber of the Year, Best Ring Match, Best Squash, Best Match) we’ll have to see if that swelling ego and ripping abs can back up can deliver on that promise. Keep smiling, stud!
My chestnuts just got a little extra roasted when I opened up what has to be one of the sexiest Christmas card’s ever. There are so many reasons Kid Karisma is my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, not least of which is that this holiday hunk is one of the most generous wrestlers when it comes to reaching out to fans. Don’t forget to consider Kid Karisma for so many best of BG East end-of-the-year best-of awards…Just imagine unwrapping this under your tree!
“You either love me or hate me, you just don’t want to fuck with me!!! However, I would like to thank my fans and haters! I wish all a great holiday and lots of ejaculations in 2014. Also, thank you to Bard and Joe for providing the wrestling community with great reads and insights to what is happening in this ever-expanding community (and reminding everyone that I am a BAMF)!” ~Kid Karisma
I’ve promised myself not to lobby too hard for any of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers up for end-of-the-year best of BG East “BGs” awards, but I will tell you that you need to vote. I will not attempt to sway public opinion. I will not attempt to sway public opinion. I will not attempt….
Our mystery man inside at a recent taping for BG East smuggled me more photos of hot young hunks before, during, and after some rowdy wrestling action in the Florida sunshine.
Jonny Firestorm was in the pool, looking happy to keep his Custom Combat demolition of Drake Marcosrolling with a wet ‘n’ wild rack. You’d think after the terror he subjected Drake to in Custom Combat (over and over and in infinite variations), young Drake would steer clear of Jonny. Then again, I sort of get the impression the Cheshire Cat of homoerotic wrestling may get off on soaking up punishment about as much as Jonny does dishing it out.
Is it my imagination, or is Jonny looking sexier than EVER!? There’s a look of trust as he hams it up for the camera. Clearly Jonny knows who’s taking is picture, but we don’t. Hmmmmm….
Our man inside, risking life and limb, also included some provocative pics of fresh young sprouts who haven’t even seen the light of day in a BG Eastrelease yet! I love a preview bleacher report! I asked for a lot of details, but all I got back regarding my questions about these two sexy young things is that the bearded beauty goes by “Wolf,” and the seductive, tanned babyface here goes by “Ty.”
The camera captured the beautiful newbies exchanging rear bearhugs. Whereas Ty’s bearhug looks playful, Wolf looks like he’s intent on seriously controlling his competition. They both look hungry to me, and I’m instantly feeling impatient to see these two adorable rooks debut.
It looks like Drake got his hands on the fresh meat as well. It seems like just yesterdayI was popping my cork in excitement over smuggled photos of Drake, before we’d ever seen the stud’s BG East debut. Now he’s the relatively seasoned upperclassmen putting newbies like Ty through the ringer. Then again, it looks to me like Ty may be right about to peel Drake’s trunks off, making me think this rook very well could be a big crowd pleaser!
Since the Boss left a comment on my last post, and since that comment was not the promise of heads rolling, I’ll take it that he’s not too upset with the contraband that our mystery man smuggled out. But then again, I do have one more batch of photos still to share….
Yesterday I woke up to find 6 inches of powder fresh snow and chilly winter temperatures. Then I checked my email and found some unexpected photos that turned the heat way, way up!
I see new faces and long-standing favorites alike lounging in the BG East pool.
I make no apologies for my infatuation with candid, behind-the-scenes glimpses of wrestlers being themselves. I drop no subtle hints that I’m always in the market for someone to smuggle out pics of the hotness that happens when the video cameras stop rolling at a homoerotic wrestling taping. I also know that Kid Leopard has personally tanned the asses of some of his boys who’ve leaked pics like these in the past. But it seems we still have someone on the inside willing to risk the wrath of the Boss in order to feed our hunger for more never-before-seen images of what hot, hunky wrestlers get up to when the Boss’ back is turned.
Drake Marcos is mounted in Mason Brooks shoulders as they roughhouse with what appears to be a couple of fresh off the farm rookies.
I’ve asked, and I’ve pointedly not been told who shot these photos. So far, no one has claimed credit/blame, which may be understandable, considering that ass-tanning I just mentioned. They were sent to me with a few sparse details to provide enough context to feed our curiosity but, presumably, not enough specifics to provide sufficient detail to finger the photog (which I’m willing to do in gratitude!).
Friends of neverland, Mason and Drake, soak up the sunshine in a break between wrestling matches.
I’ll report this out just like I received it, in discrete installments. Our man-inside confirms that these shots were taken at a very recent taping in Florida. Clearly on hand were some long-standing friends of neverland, including the Cheshire Cat himself, Drake Marcos and the thinking-man’s homoerotic wrestler, Mason Brooks. Most of pics look pretty serene with the boys in their speedos basking in the sunshine. Then, there was this last pic in the first batch that caught my eye, as I’m sure it will yours:
The star of the first ever Custom Combat, Drake Marcos, appears to have been claimed by the thinking man’s homoerotic wrestler, Mason Brooks!
That’s right, an autographed pic of the Cheshire Cat, Drake Marcos, that’s been tagged with the provocative words, “Property of Mason Brooks.” What’s the backstory here!? Did nippletastic Mason conquer and claim the most eager man in homoerotic wrestling in an as-yet unreleased match? Whoever smuggled me the pics has been silent on the topic. I’m having a hard time keeping up with my mandatory holiday parties, because I’m constantly distracted by the possibility that Mason’s got a new pet who, I’m sure, would need equal doses of discipline and affection to train up just right. Was this just a playful prank, or did Drake’s ass, like his photo, get tagged by the ambitious plotter Mason?
Stay tuned for more teased mysteries and musings left in my inbox…
Sidelineland 