Making Jake

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The next catalog apparently has a new Jake Jenkins match previewed in BG East Arena this week, in which the former homoerotic wrestler of the month squares off on the mats with always underestimated and deceptively dangerous Skrapper.  It’s been a while since I posted a dose of Making Jake, so let’s consider more of the ABC’s that make Jake Jenkins such a compelling homoerotic wrestler.
K is for “kneel at my feet, bitch!”

..kneel.  Pry your eyes away from the aesthetic perfection of Kid Karisma’s award-winning ass and appreciate the stunningly sexy dominance he has over Jake in their sexy-as-hell ring match for Hunkbash 12.  I could come up with an A-Z catalog just documenting the insanely sexy wonders (yes, that’s 3 uses of the word “sexy” in 2 sentences!) that my top contender for reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (Kid K) does to his highly acrobatic “monkey boy” opponent, Jake.  Potentially the sweetest of all is when Kid K drags this lovely homage to Kevin Von Erich off the mat by a fistful of hair, his own stunning muscles pumped and primed, staring down at the sweaty, battered, beaten, slack jawed beauty before him as humiliatingly makes Jake kneel.

L is for leaping from the turnbuckle!

… leap. Speaking of acrobatics and being a monkey boy, there’s nothing more provocative about Jake than watching him in his natural habitat, swinging from the ropes and climbing the corners of a pro wrestling ring.  The 5’7″, this top babyface of 2012 could make hay for days capitalizing on a low center of gravity and his hot, thick musculature.  Fuck that.  Jake loves to fly, like when Rock Hard Wrestling’s stud puppy, Cliff Johnson’s long lovely bod is flat on it’s back, the overhead lights spinning in his eyes, and his tag team partner a couple of miles away, helpless to do anything but watch his buddy about to get pummeled from projectile Jake.  Cliff’s tantalizing helplessness laid out like a turkey dinner delightfully makes Jake leap!

M is for pushing the mild-mannered stud too far and making him mad!

… mad.  I enjoy Jake’s range.  For example, in his tag team match alongside partner Austin Cooper, staring across the ring at Lon Dumont and Nicholas Rush, he chuckles at the start of Tag Team Torture 15.  The boys in stars and stripes think that they’ve got absolutely nothing to worry about.  They’re gorgeous, powerful, and probably Coop’s biceps are about twice as thick and strong as newbie Nick’s quads.  And they’ve partnered in the ring possibly the most of any current (or former?) homoerotic wrestling tag team, establishing a rapport and sweet empathy for one another’s trials in the action.  But here, catch the look of fury on Jake’s face as Coop offers a hand to peel him off the mat after getting used and abused by my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, Lon Dumont.  The vulnerability of all that high octane muscle having to get a hand off the floor, combined with that rising boil of rage in his eyes is such sweet character development, as Lon Dumont makes Jake mad.

N is for watching your partner humiliated as you start to get nervous.

… nervous.  That finely honed empathy Jake’s developed with frequent tag team partner Austin Cooper is a double-edged tool, of course.  On the one hand, Jake and Coop can probably finish each other’s sentences like an old married couple by now, having grown to know exactly what to expect from one another in the heat of battle.  Knowing your partner’s tolerances and limits, having confidence in your partner’s strengths and loyalty… these are fine weapons to bring to bear as a dangerously devastating tag team.  Then again, all that empathy can serve just to share the suffering when one of you is getting crushed and humiliated and you’re stuck obeying the rules from your corner.  When expert sadist and prettyboy basher Ethan Andrews gets his mitts all over Coop’s soaked, bulging body, things start to take a turn for the worse for team goldenboys.  Locking Coop up tight in a camel clutch and prying his helpless head backward to show the camera the handsome stud’s tortured humility leaves Jake pleading with his partner to rally, stretching his hand hopelessly inside the ring so far out of reach, paining the fresh man in the corner to watch his buddy getting messed up and taunted, and with Coop fading fast and looking like he’s about to literally cry uncle, making Jake nervous.

O is for finally putting Mr. Mountain Dew out cold and leaving a little drool dribbling from the corner of his mouth, oblivious.

… oblivious.  Jake is not at all unlike a can of Mountain Dew vigorously shaken and then popped open: a concentrated burst of energy exploding all over the ring with a sugary sweet aftertaste.  Kid K called him a monkey boy because Jake doesn’t stop moving, climbing, leaping, sprinting.  He’s a fantastic combination of grace and power, and even when he gives away a fall, you get the sense the rubber ball is just about to bounce right back up.  So it’s probably no wonder that so many of his opponents can only claim an enduring victory over him after they’ve rendered the fitness model unconscious.  All that kinetic energy, all that motion and coordination and acrobatics and emoting go slack, and the allure of a muscled athlete dozing away, completely at the mercy of another man, is the homoerotic wrestling money shot for me.  What a thrilling climax it is to watch 2012’s top heel, Jonny Firestorm, take total possession of 2012’s top babyface in 2012’s best squash of the year, Jobberpaloozer 12, when he makes Jake oblivious.

Having put in my time marveling at Jake today, let me simply offer my assurances to BG East’s winner of best abs and best debut of 2012 that I’ll be stroking his ego as well, soon!

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Alex introduces us to a new masked rookie.

Continuing the theme of provocatively told stories of homoerotic wrestling, I’ve updated both of the wrestling fiction sites I administer.  Over at Sidelineland, the communal collection of fiction from multiple authors, Alex’ newest chapter in The Cave Undercard series is up, introducing us to a new rook named Skull, breaking into the business of high stakes internet erotic wrestling.

Determined to break in the newbie is the return of Thunder.

Skull is up against a juicy cut of beef Alex introduced to us before, who wrestles as Thunder.  Can Cody’s protege, Skull, do any better against Thunder than Cody managed as the Pink Punk?  I’ll try not to spoil it for you, but I will say everyone (starting with me) finishes this story satisfied.

Ben Godfre inspires yet another of my homoerotic wrestling fantasies.

It’s been ages and ages since I pulled together a new match in my other fiction group, Producer’s Ring.  This collection of stories is about 95% authored by me, pulling from a recurring nightmare/erotic fantasy combo of a post-apocalyptic world in which homoerotic wrestling matches frequently determine the fate of geopolitical power across the globe.  This new story, in the Secretarial Pool series, picks up were “Global Cooperation” left off.  The executive assistants to Eli Brody (coincidentally all fitness and fashion models with insanely savvy business sense) are back at it, doing their best to play nice with executive hardbodies from rival empires.  One of my longest running fictional celebrity wrestling infatuations, Ben Godfre, is back in action and has more than his hands full.  Whereas Alex gives us a taste of beef and bears, this Producer’s Ring match is a battle of pretty boys.

Jislain Duval debuts in the Producer’s Ring.

Ben’s antagonist was specifically handpicked by a reader and fan of the Secretarial Pool.  The French Canadian sexpot, Jislain Duval, heads into the lion’s den of Eli Brody’s headquarters to hammer out a profitable partnership with Brody Productions, one way or another.  Of course, this is my imagination and the Producer’s Ring, so the one way is a sweat-soaked battle of bodies and will with suits watching on and the balance of world power teetering (and there is no other way).

Producer’s Ring fans of the character Jared will get a glimpse of what he’s been up to, as well.

I have a ton of projects started, as well as a few writing obligations currently demanding my attention, but I’m thrilled to have some new material in both Sidelineland and Producer’s Ring to share.  You can keep the Sidelineland group fresh by send me your pieces of original homoerotic wrestling fiction to share.  And members of both groups are reminded that a little feedback and a reasonable does of positive reinforcement (as in comments) goes a long way to nurturing the writing bug for folks like Alex and me and other potential authors.

Telling Stories

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Regular readers know my tastes.  I’m not coy about being being particularly turned on by action in a wrestling ring, guys with tattoos, muscular asses, shaved heads, hair pulling, erotic tag teams, over-the-knee backbreakers, trapped in the ropes muscle torture, ego-bashing trash talk, overcoming long odds, and story telling (just to name a few of my favorite things).  If I absolutely had to give up all but one of those things, I think I’d have to hang out to the bitter end for my lustful desire for a well-told story.  I’m a drama/melodrama junkie, and wedded with homoerotic wrestling, a compelling story with 3 dimensional characters, a story arc, a climax and a sexually dominating denouement is powerfully satisfying for me.  Thus my delight in homoerotic wrestling fiction (writing it, but especially reading that of others).   I’ve also lately been particularly titillated to learn that some of the juiciest morsels from the pages of this blog and my fondest homoerotic wrestling matches have also begun blogging.

Monaco on the mats.

Ben Monaco is the latest wrestler that I know of who’s started documenting his journey into on camera homoerotic wrestling with his blog, Monaco Off the Mats.  His first post is text-intensive, meaning I’m already powerfully aroused, as Ben describes this new chapter in his life in which a chance encounter on Grindr led inevitably down the path toward Ben’s metamorphosis into a rising star in the homoerotic wrestling business.

Most recently, Ben got his hands (and tongue) all over massive rookie Alain LeClair in Mat Scraps 2.

Check out Ben’s story and encourage him to keep up the narrative, because I’m going to blow an artery if I don’t get to read subsequent chapters of his journey.  He’s also offered to answer questions, and I know I for one have been cataloging new ones to ask ever since he granted me an interview soon after his debut for BG East.  I find that blogging is work, my friends, and a healthy dose of positive reinforcement is essential to enduring lapses in motivation to keep going, so get on Monaco Off the Mats and tell Ben you want to know what happens next!

That Ginger Guy!

My recently slapped down top contender and long-time title holder of my favorite homoerotic wrestler (and BG East’s 2012 winner for Best Butt) Kid Karisma, has a blog that he updates irregularly, but delightfully when he does.  That Ginger Guy! (perfectly named, to match his physical perfection), hasn’t been updated in a few months, sadly.  Personally, I’m dying to know if he lost the ginger whiskers once No Shave November was over (’cause I’m saying right now I’d like to see those full blown whiskers in the ring!).  And who’s with me in harboring a crazy lust to watch the karismatic one crush objects between those rugby-built quads?  And I’m still hoping to see some incriminating post-party, slack jawed, drooling evidence of what homoerotic wrestling’s most infamous party boy looks like in the back seat on the way home.  We know that Kid K will dish, god bless him, and I can’t think of a better theme for That Ginger Guy! than a much needed gossip rag for the homoerotic wrestling industry.  Pass the word along and let’s get Kid K back at the keyboard.

Cameron Mathews sells the goods.

Cameron Mathews launched his personal/professional wrestling website last summer, and he’s done a decent job of keeping the material fresh and liberally laced with beefcake.  He tends to be a man of relatively few words, but they’re typically well-chosen and paired with some sweet video and stills, CameronWrestler.com offers some inspiring insights into the hardest working homoerotic wrestler on the scene.  He’s also periodically selling Cameron-memorabilia for his army of fans to purchase, like his current sale on liberally sweat-stained trunks (it’s never too early to start Christmas shopping for Bard, friends).  Most provocatively, I think, is Cam’s offer to tape custom wrestling matches, and there are a boatload of testimonials bearing evidence that his Pro vs. Joe private bookings leave his fans supremely satisfied.

What naughty thoughts is Aryx thinking now?

My most recent interviewee, Aryx Quinn, has more of Twitter presence than anything else on the internet, but he does have a website that’s been promising a new, expanded source for all things Aryx for quite a while.  I hope that those of you populating the Twittersphere will start bombarding @TristanBaldwin with pleas for more Aryx Quinn wrestling access.

Drake Marcos knows drama.

For months I’ve been encouraging ambitious rookie Drake Marcos to start blogging about his journey into the hearts and lusts of homoerotic wrestling fans (and a particular homoerotic wrestling producer who’s clearly taken a shine to the eager baby face beauty).  Drake keeps promising me it’s on his to-do list.

Talk about a story to tell!

And then there are plenty more homoerotic wrestlers I think ought to blog.  I know for a fact Kid Leopard is online at least 25 hours out of every day.  Can you imagine some free association narrative from the man who’s gone from down and dirty heel to heading his own international wrestling empire?!

Tease no more, Kid Vicious!

And please, people, if you know Kid Vicious, tell him he’s GOT TO either give me that interview he’s been teasing me with for (I kid you not) at least 8 months, or launch a Kid Vicious blog to let us get a glimpse of the dark recesses of his fantastically homoerotically kinked wrestling mind.

Do you need a kidney, Lon!?

I’d sell a kidney for more access to Lon Dumont, as well.  Pro wrestler turned competitive bodybuilder turned homoerotic wrestler!?  That’s worth a made for TV movie at the barest minimum, and much more obviously deserves some custom-made Lon served up for some voracious fans (line starts directly behind ME!).

Clearly Brad Rochelle knows his way around a keyboard.

Yes, I love a story told well.  And I’m sure that there are other wrestlers we could think of that we’d like to hear much, much more from.  Then again, I’m sure not every homoerotic wrestler fancies clicking away at a keyboard, but I’m equally certain (and I have documentation to prove it) that there are more than a few wrestling fantasymen adept and accomplished in crafting the English language into compelling and erotically satisfying narrative.  I’m typically a half a decade behind the times, but I’m hoping against hope that more web presence and online drama is where the hot world of homoerotic wrestling is heading!

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

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My long absence from posting is mostly a side effect of life, however my transition from a laptop to an iPad has put a kink in my blogging accessibility.  I either need to find a better Blogger app or learn HTML.  In the mean time, I’ll squeeze in posts when I actually have my butt in my desk chair and my fingers on my desktop keyboard.  I’m coming in way late for selecting a homoerotic wrestler of the month, so among the many things piling up for me to post about, I’m putting that at the top of today’s list.  The field seems a little sparse, though that may be a function of me not having my eye on the industry in February as devotedly as I typically do.  BG East is between catalogs, and Can-Am is continuing the long drought of new wrestling releases (last October!?).  Thunder’s has a new bright, shiny toy dangling in front of my eyes that goes by the name of Dakota, who’s suddenly appeared in 3 new releases earning nominations for him as well as Lex, former HWOTM Z-Man, and sweet piece of meat Ken (Mat Rats 36, 34 and 31 respectively).  I also love a fratboy vs bodybuilder mismatch, so Tak and Specimen get in line for contention with Mat Rats 32.  I’ve already waxed infatuated about Rock Hard Wrestling’s Stretched and Split, in which triple threat Will Stanley (body, tats and accent) takes a licking and keeps on ticking against perennial badass punk Ethan Andrews.  New kids on the block, Muscle Domination Wrestling, are scratching an itch left from the silence of Can-Am lately, proving they’ve got their eye squarely on the gay wrestling kink audience with Morgan Cruise and Tony Law wrestling naked in the ring (now that’s a formula for success!) in their VIP lounge downloads of Naked Nut Grab and Steamy Wrestling (the product names aren’t nearly as innovative as the matches themselves).  SteelMuscleGod again teamed up with my guilty pleasure, Wimpy Boy, for a delightful head scissors exhibition, getting a nod and a nomination from me for February’s hottest performances.

Is it my imagination, or is the field unusually shallow this month?!  Not to say anything negative about any one of the nominees (mostly because that just gets me in trouble),  but I have to say, in the aggregate, the average homoerotic wrestling release for February 2013 was simply not as hot as I’ve been accustomed to lately.  Wasn’t it just a few months ago I was referring to our new Golden Age of homoerotic wrestling?  I’m officially putting out a call for suggestions for a new homoerotic wrestling fix, because while Can-Am has gone dormant and when BG East is between catalogs, I’m missing something new, innovative, and inspiring.  Muscle Domination looks like my best chance for a new infatuation, but the video quality and quality of wrestling needs to continue to improve to keep up with their creativity.  SMG just has to growl and I’m turned on, but his wrestling fetish work is more fetish than wrestling lately, hampering his chances at being a headliner in the field.  That said, there’s one wrestler who I’m calling out of this field as decidedly above average, who legitimately revved my engine and made me swoon.  If this field were tighter, he might not have managed grabbing the ring, but that shouldn’t minimize the effect that this particularly enjoyable muscle hunk had on me in February.  With all of those caveats and words of caution out of the way, my newest pick for homoerotic wrestler of the month is…

… Rock Hard Wrestling’s Will Stanley.

I’ve already given a detailed blow by blow of this match, so I’ll try not to repeat myself too much.  The first thing that grabbed me about Will here is the skin-tight-cat-suit of a singlet he wears.  I’m not nearly as focused on gear as I know many of you are, but damn, damn, DAMN, Mr. Stanley wears that singlet OUT!  There’s something gorgeously classic about the gear choice that gives me a hit of watching old British pro wrestling on youtube.  And it proves the old adage that sometime the sexiest outfit is not the skimpiest.
Nylon clad British beef

Lovely Will looks like he was poured into that navy blue nylon.  It sucks to every eye catching bulge and cranny.  When Ethan is doing what, arguably, Ethan does best (showing off the muscled bod of an opponent), there’s something insanely tactile and alluring about Will’s bulging crotch, powerful pecs, and those sweet as honey muscled glutes he’s packing inside of that stunningly stretched fabric.

Like me, that skin tight singlet just wants to cling to that gorgeously muscled body!

It’s Will that goes for ripping his opponent’s singlet straps down first, scoring him major league points in my estimation.  He nothing but contemptuous of Ethan’s lean bod, but that doesn’t stop him from dialing up the heat by exploiting a moment of vulnerability and peeling Ethan’s singlet straps down.  Score a big one for the physique star!  Ethan follows suit not long afterward, and sweet mother of god, the Britboy’s torso is once again classically stunning.  I love how the singlet is so fucking tight around his torso that it stays plastered to his upper abs for quite a while as Ethan returns the favor of exploiting his opponent in a moment of vulnerability.

Will shuts his eyes tightly to pretend his humiliation isn’t being caught on camera.

Those shiny, straining, flexing pecs, veiny delta, and writhing six pack abs tortured in the ropes is pretty much exactly why ring wrestling is automatically more erotic for my tastes by a factor of about 10.  The combination of agony contorting Mr. Stanley’s handsome face and his determined prediction of Ethan’s impending doom, even as Ethan has him by the shorthairs, is fantastic.  Score yet another big one for my growing infatuation with the Brit beauty.

That skinny git just fucked me up!?!?
Ethan takes the first fall with a submission.  Will is a supremely tasty treat flat on his back with his eyes closed as if refusing to see the truth that a “skinny kid” like Ethan just schooled his seriously fine ass.  That Ethan does not capitalize on the moment to pry this bulging stud the rest of the way out of that epic singlet is 2% an indictment of Ethan and 98% an indictment of Rock Hard Wrestling, I think.  We know for a fact that Ethan is well aware that his expert work is being consumed ravenously by gay fans aching to see him own this vulnerable hunk of British beef (no horse meat here!). And if Mr. Stanley isn’t fully aware of the star power packed inside that unrealized moment of getting stripped to a more modest layer of fight gear, with a bod like that he should be.  We’ve seen him in gorgeously tight trunks, so the missed opportunity of watching Ethan pull out a crow bar and peel that sucker off as Will lies there checking his ego is hard to watch.

Will’s muscles, like his ego, swell stunningly once he’s got momentum going his way.
Not hard to watch, however, is Will’s body as it seems to swell like a balloon the harder he works and the sweatier he grows in this match.  Those shoulders alone seem to take him from from a 44L to a 48L suit coat in about 5 minutes.  He’s got lovely everything, of course, but that hip tat peaking out over the top of his peeled down singlet is simply awesome, and further evidence both of the allure of a teasing glimpse and the missed opportunity of not ripping that navy blue nylon the rest of the way off of his body.

British beef pretzel

Ethan makes Will hurt (score Ethan!), a lot, often humiliatingly.  Seeing a big, powerful, sculpted body like that owned and contorted as big Will’s face twists like a tornado is fantastic homoerotic drama.  When Ethan is pounding out riding time, there’s not a corner of Will’s body that isn’t displayed to perfection and served up like the 4-star dish it is.  Will takes a beating and gets tied up like a pretzel, and a 6’1″ 185 pound gym bunny who can pull that off and still rack his opponent like a barbell and pump out squats in the middle of the ring at the end of it all is an obvious contender for my affections.

Ethan stares up at the face of my new homoerotic wrestler of the month.
Will Stanley has a long way to go if he’s going to be a serious staple in my diet of recurring favorite homoerotic wrestlers, but he’s got a golden foundation of beautiful muscles and a sharp wit made all the more cutting by a working class English accent.  He doesn’t entirely own the ring, so I’m longing to see his ring skills get as pumped up as those massive deltoid muscles.  But he does, however, own Ethan Andrews delightfully and decisively, stroking my fantasies and keeping my eyes riveted on his every move, clinch, flex and strut, earning him a relative newcomer’s uncharacteristic awarding of my homoerotic wrestler of the month.  Keep up the good work, Will.

Where’d Your Banter Go!? Where’s Your Mouth!?

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A trash talking, 6’1″ fitness model with an English accent… hello, Mr. Stanley!  Stretched and Split is Rock Hard Wrestling’s latest release starring said Britboy, Will Stanley.  The whole package is delightful, but those shoulders and that sexy as fuck hip tat are out of this world.  This match between Will and frequent tormentor Ethan Andrews is deeply satisfying and a gorgeous study in contrasts.

Will Stanley’s sculpted muscles glisten as he taunts and dominates Ethan Andrews

Will is jumping rope in the ring as the scene opens.  He rocks that skin tight navy blue singlet so hard it makes me gasp.  Some gear excels by it’s strategic absence, the expanse of skin left exposed.  Will’s singlet is stunning (well, Will is stunning in it) because of it’s presence, the obvious strain of the fabric as it molds to the bulges and crevices of this beautiful specimen.  It looks like something out of a 1950’s film, white piping, modestly square cut around Will’s powerful thighs, molded high up underneath his arms and covering at least half of the expanse of his broad chest. But there’s little left to the imagination.   His pecs and bulge bounce underneath as he dances on his toes, the jump rope moving so fast it’s pretty much invisible even in high definition.

Ethan has been on a roll, kicking hornets nests and picking fights with physique stars.  As he climbs into the ring with that permanent smirk tattooed on his face, he adopts a poorly executed faux English accent and snarls, “British wanker!”

I haven’t seen the tag team loss Ethan reminds Will of, but apparently Ethan was on the winning end of a double pretty boy beatdown over Will.  Ethan suggests that Will should probably be on the market for a better partner to watch his back (count me in!).  “I’m not interested,” the Brit snaps.  When Ethan finally tells the Brit to get out of his ring like the queen dismissing her subjects, Will is not amused.  “No, you can leave now. I was in the middle of my training.  I was here first.  It’s not your ring anymore.  I told you this. Off you go, come on.”  That “off you go” delivered with an English accent (and packaged inside an incredibly sculpted body) makes me laugh and adjust myself at the same time.  In those three words, he successfully communicates his contempt for Ethan, shooing him away like an adult slapping the ass of a petulant child.

In return, Ethan sucker punches the stud in the gut.  Ethan’s genius is his ability to set the pace, mount a pounding offense, and completely sell his capacity to not stand toe-to-toe with a towering physique star like Will, but out hustle, out maneuver, and dig deeper into his bag of dirty tricks to outsmart an opponent possibly overconfident in his superior conditioning.  He pounds Will with fists, backing the big Brit into the corner.  He’s relentless and focused, raining down blows that seem to make the lovely muscle stud wilt.  And yet, even while being choked beneath Ethan’s boot in the corner, the Brit stud sounds like he’s the one on top.  “You got nothing!  You should be taking notes!”

Ethan takes Will’s bulging muscles to the ropes early to knock the big man down to size.

Will’s mouth is the unexpected break out star in this match for me.  Early on, I have no idea if all those luscious muscles will be enough to dig the Brit beauty out of the hole Ethan digs for him, but holy hell, that trash talking, English accented mouth on Will is fucking awesome!  Ethan traps the stud in the ropes, stretching out Will’s beautiful muscles vulnerably as the heel pounds his mile wide back with kicks and knees.  He’s in a completely defenseless position.  Ethan is making mincemeat of all that glorious beef.  And still, it’s Will who snarls, “You just wait till I get up!” Ethan sits on his back, riding him like a thoroughbred while choking Will in the the rope.  “Enjoy it while you can, huh!” Will growls, demonstrating that even with Ethan’s entire bodyweight bearing down, he can’t hold the powerpacked Brit down.  “You put some more weight on there and it’d be so much more effective… fucking string bean!”

The “fucking string bean” owns the fitness model throughout most of round 1.

Ethan’s further genius is his accomplished skill at setting a plate.  Just like he did so gorgeously with Lon Dumont in BG East’s Hair Stakes match, he dishes up Will’s incredible physique tantalizingly.  With a backbreaker, he shows off the Brit’s sculpted body underneath that teasing singlet, prying the big boy backward and highlighting the beautiful beef in his pouch.  While Will’s obviously a serious athlete, Ethan’s clearly the one with superior ring savvy and wrestling experience.  He transitions from hold to hold smoothly and decisively.  A single leg crab allows the heel to punch the shit out of Will’s hamstring, sitting low on top of the Brit’s meaty ass.  Milking the hold (for possibly a fraction too briefly… RHW’s achilles heel, I think), Ethan abruptly flings the captured leg down and quickly scoops up the Brit hunk, giving that stunning muscled ass a squeeze on the way to slamming his back into the mat.

I want to lick that tricep!

Will grabs hold of the offense his first chance, outmuscling the heel and quickly mounting him, planting those big hands around Ethan’s throat and throttling him.  “Told you it wasn’t going to last long!”  The Brit’s got some smooth skills as well, transitioning to an arm bar and threatening to snap Ethan off at the elbow.  “How’s that feel, huh?” Will mouth woos me.  “You like that, huh?  You won’t be using this arm for a little while!”  It’s Will who peels the singlet straps off of Ethan first, to get a better view of the geography he’s raining down blows into.  Back on mount, he bashes Ethan’s gut with fists and then digs his fingers deep into the heel’s powerful core.  “How’s that feel, huh?  One day you might have abs too, huh?”

“Since you like strapless so much…!” Ethan returns the favor, exposing the muscle hunk’s torso.

The Brit beauty pushes his luck and leaves himself open for Ethan to reverse, which the veteran does commandingly.  “Since you like strapless so much,” Ethan peels the straps over the big man’s bulging shoulders.  Holy shit!  Forcibly half-disrobed, Will is amazing!  And that singlet is so insanely tight it clings to his ribs even as Ethan rains down blows into the big man’s mouthwatering pecs.  “Lookin’ and what you could have!?” Will taunts again from the bottom position.  Ethan’s transition to a Boston crab makes the big man groan, but on the receiving end of it, Will still taunts, “My abs needed a little stretch.”  The heel takes the stubborn muscle stud back to the ropes to stretch out that eye-catching torso.  Will’s pecs glisten under the lights as Ethan pounds his fists into it.  He endures the punishment admirably, but when Ethan threatens to decapitate the handsome hunk, literally hanging from Will’s neck, the Brit beauty finally gives away the first fall.  “God save the queen?!” Ethan snaps derisively. “God save YOU!”

“God save the queen!?  God save you!”

Staring with round 2 and lasting through the end of the match, Will has dragged his singlet straps down low, showing off the ink stretching from his hip and disappearing underneath his gear pointing toward his crotch.  His lucious ass cheeks bulge out over the top of the fabric sagging.  Ethan maintains the momentum for a while, latching onto Will’s injured leg like a terrier and pounding the shit out of is with stomps, knee drops, and kicks.  “Let’s see you try to stand on that now!” The heel’s rear naked choke once again displays Will’s mouthwatering bulge and naked torso stunningly. “I bet you’re wishing you were in England right now, snacking on your fish and chips!” smart mouthed Ethan taunts.

“Pretty good for a little guy, but it’s not going to last!” Will snaps right back.  That cocky banter from below turns me on so hard!  When Ethan mounts the stud and pummels his abs, the physique star flinches and flexes defensively, but through gritted teeth he maintains his hold on the verbal/psychological offense.  “I’m used to that shit.  It’s called conditioning.  You should try it!”  The stud remains Ethan’s bitch for a couple more minutes of increasing humiliation, including getting slammed into the turnbuckle and then mounted by his lean opponent, Ethan’s ass pounding up and down on top of Will’s sculpted chest.  Ethan slaps him in the face.  “Wakey, wakey,” he taunts.

Will’s most awesome, wild ride.

It might have been wise to leave the fitness model half asleep, because the moment Will leap frogs over a clothesline attempt, Ethan’s in for a shit load of muscle bullying.  All that smart ass trash talk from Ethan, all that muscle torture, suddenly gets served back to him in spades.  Will traps Ethan in the rope and begins the prolonged revenge session.  Again, too briefly he lets go of his opponent’s vulnerability in service of keeping up “the action” (which, I would argue, is actually secondary to selling the bone and soul crushing domination… but maybe that’s just me), but happily he quickly captures Ethan’s head between those gorgeous, massive, milky thighs.  “Feels good, huh!?” the Brit returns to wooing me.  Yes, yes, yes! I yell at my screen.  Where, oh where can I sign up for that ride!?

Will reminds Ethan of the insult he inflicted upon interrupting Will’s work out.

There’s a feel of an avalanche behind the muscle stud’s offense as he dominates more and more overwhelmingly.  Multiple times he leans over, peels Ethan flat off the mat, and hoists the battered heal up into his arms.  A rear bearhug nearly makes me explode as he bounces Ethan up and down, his pelvis thrust forward against the heel’s ass (me next! me next!).  It takes a lot to out trash talk Ethan Andrews, but as the wrestling offense slides securely into his grasp, Will’s arousing banter does nothing but turn hotter.  “You got nothing on me!” he taunts.  “Come on, get up!” he insists, only to kick Ethan back to the mat when he tries. “Because you disturbed my little training session,” Will uses his jump rope to choke Ethan.  He doesn’t need to at this point to even the score, but the submission isn’t Will’s primary purpose here, because he knows what he’s doing.  His purpose is to tell the story, which he does with skill that surprises and delights me.  “You got puny little legs, you need to go do some squats,”  he sneers, peeling Ethan backward, threatening to break his neck and/or back (whichever goes first).  “Look who’s beatin’ you!” the Brit snarls, pulling on Ethan’s hair to pry his face backward to look at his tormentor eye to eye.  The helpless heel submits. “Get out of my face, you disgust me!” Will snaps, throwing Ethan’s face to the mat and climbing to his feet.  He stalks in circles around Ethan’s body.  “Come back when you’re in my weight class!” he sneers down.

“Look who’s beatin’ you!”

As they start round 3, I’m completely sold on Will.  I’ll lose as many loads as the next guy on the muscled beauty who gets bashed and beaten by the less physically conditioned but more savvy opponent, but a big, beautiful, powerfully muscled, cocky as hell, masterfully trash talking fitness model (with an English accent!!!) can have me body and soul and leave me pulling for the muscle bully to work his magic.  When they lock up in a collar and elbow, Will taunts, “This is when muscle comes in handy, man!”  And true enough, he outmuscles Ethan and captures him in a gorgeous side headlock, grinding the heel’s face against his flexing pec and dragging Ethan stumbling around the ring.  “How’s that, comfortable, huh!?”

As the action is nearing its climax, Ethan shocks his powerhouse opponent with another attack on those  lickable legs.  He dishes up another gorgeously presented plate of muscled vulnerability, grapevining and then spladling the Brit hunk’s legs open wide, ass toward the ceiling, and threatening to rip him apart at the crotch.  “How does that feel!?” Ethan snarls, exhaustion evident in his voice.

“It’s fine!” Will grunts through gritted teeth. “I can deal with it!”

“It’s fine!  I can deal with it,” Will grunts back, obviously in pain but perhaps not quite as exhausted.  Perhaps serving up the ultimate I-told-you-so, it’s Will’s conditioning that seems to be the story as Ethan can’t keep his grip on the offense.  Will muscles free and back on top, decisively securing a standing surfboard that threatens to rip Ethan’s arms out at the shoulders.  The heel is fading fast, and Will delights in slowly (that’s what I’m talking about!) dragging his opponent to his feet by fistfuls of sweaty hair, only to taunt him and throw him back down again.   “Look at me when Im beating you!” the cocky Brit barks, rolling Ethan to his back.  Ethan’s done.  You know it.  Will knows it.  Ethan knows it.  The Brit looks down at him and can’t help but laugh.  “Look at you man!  Are you strugglin’?”  he uses Ethan as a punching bag in the corner.  He powers out a beautiful snap suplex out of the corner, slamming Ethan’s lower back into the center of the ring.  “Come on, get up!”  he taunts, throwing Ethan over one shoulder in a backbreaker and bouncing up and down as Ethan wails.  He pumps out some taunting squats with his opponent hanging over his shoulder helplessly, Will showing off his gorgeous quads.  About 2 minutes after we all saw Ethan’s doom written on the wall, the stunned heel gives up again.

“Where’d your banter go!? Where’s your mouth!?”

And then demonstrating a sadistic genius of his own that I didn’t know to expect from him, Will looks down and growls, “You know I don’t think that was enough.  I’m still not happy!”  He drags Ethan back to his feet to snap on a sleeper.  Ethan slowly sags in Will’s overwhelming muscle embrace.  “Where’d your banter go, huh?” Will taunts as Ethan goes slack in his arms.  “Where’s your mouth?” he asks as he puts Ethan out cold.  “Exactly what I thought! You sleep well, buttercup!”

This has been a tough couple of months for Ethan’s new releases.  My reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler,  Lon Dumont sleepered him out cold and shut up his smart mouth decisively for BG East in Hair Stakes, and now big and beautiful Will does the same for RHW.  All I can say is keep up that fantastically sexy work, Ethan!  Pick another fight with a stacked muscle stud because I (like I suspect you) seriously enjoy the muscleboys battling back to beat the living shit out of you and shut you up in the only way that seems to work.  And Mr. Will Stanley, I can’t wait to see you barely squeezed into that singlet again, and just as importantly stripped out of it on your way to bullying and beating up another smart mouthed punk!

What Turned Me Gay (again, not really)

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When I saw the news last week that the Olympics have preliminarily decided that they’ll drop wrestling starting with the 2020 Olympiad, I thought it was one of those Onion stories that people mistake for actual news.  What a patently ridiculous idea.  What more direct connection between the ancient Olympic games and the modern games than one of the few sports left that requires no equipment, no complex venue.  This sport doesn’t require a horse and a few million dollars to “compete” in.  Just a circle on a mat and two bodies pitting strength and skill against one another… but this is the sport that doesn’t fit in Olympic competition!?
The USSR’s Alexander Karelin fueled how many gay wrestling fantasies!?
The Russian wrestling coach who blames the gays for this decision similarly sounded like an obviously Onion-esque farce of a story.  Eliminating wrestling is apparently something designed on behalf of “the gays” to redefine masculinity, turning away from the spectacle of hot, nearly naked muscled bodies of male athletes squeezing and throwing and pinning one another as crowds watch on cheering.  Because, yeah, you know…. the gays surely hate that.  We can’t stand seeing that, can we?

Indian Kamar Sushil shows off his biceps as he threatens to rip an opponent’s head off on his way to gold. More, please.

As a couple thousands hits a day on this blog demonstrates, there are plenty of gays deeply invested in the perpetuation of wrestling.  Personally, the only voices in my life who I’ve heard up in arms about the decision belong to fellow gays.  But then again, it isn’t the first time a minority have been unfairly scapegoated to help the privileged cope with the unfamiliar experience of not getting their way.  The aforementioned Russian wrestling coach predicts that this is just one more step toward the gays ruling the world, so I say our first order of business once our insidious cabal has succeeded in supplanting world leadership with our 6 percent (or so) of the population, should be the reinstatement of Olympic wrestling.  And in the interest of historical accuracy, I say they should have to compete like the real men of 8th century BCE wrestled.  Naked.

American Jordan Burroughs own his opponent in last summer’s London games. 

One of my early memories of getting wildly turned on and fueling sexual fantasies for years to come was when I happened to catch the quarter final match on television between the US’s Steve Fraser and Swede Frank Andersson at the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics.  Blond and bronzed and looking like a Norse god toasted brown in the Southern California sunshine, Andersson was almost too pretty to believe.  The action was aggressive, fast, and visually stunning.  I was 13 years old, and even if I’d never been turned on by wrestling before (I had), this match would have been guaranteed to drive home the point that the drama, the power, and the beauty of wrestling would remain the most erotic thing in my life.  Yep, Olympic wrestling most definitely turned me gay (not really).

So sign petitions.  Raise a stink.  And remember that haters will hate, regardless of the topic.

Um, yeah.  Nothing about this for a gay man to want to see:
Egyptian Olympic wrestler Karam Gabar Ebrahim

Crowning a New Champion

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Lon Dumont: my instant infatuation

The first glimpse I ever had of Lon Dumont piqued my interest.  He was handsome and lean with beautiful muscles and a strikingly hot shaved head.  Sprinkle some salt in the crevices between his six-pack abs, stick a slice of lime in that mouth, and I’ll bring the tequila!  But while Lon was undeniably attractive in still frame, when I saw him wrestle Eddy Rey in what I still think is the sexiest forced-to-flex match I’ve yet seen, I was completely captured.  The swagger, the strut, the cocky trash talk… before Eddy even hoists his long muscle bod over the top rope to climb in, Lon already had me completely entranced.  Then that body and that attitude providing the platform for a completely self-possessed, high quality pro wrestling beatdown sold me lock, stock and barrel.  It didn’t take long for him to slide his hot ass into the top ranks of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers.

Lon is all smiles and good natured respect before a match
Lon was a finalist for votes in BG East’s Top Heel of 2012, but honestly, I think he’s hard to pigeonhole.  He typically starts out a match on an optimistic note.  He’s usually the first to show some respect for an opponent.  Out of the starting gate, Lon is more self-assured, good-natured, and witty than vicious, snarling or hell-bent on humiliation.  But then poke him a bit, as opponents always do, and you’ll get a rise out of him.  He’ll go from 0 to 60 in a split second.  It’s common to hear Lon muse wistfully, “It didn’t have to be this way,” in brief pauses between pounding the shit out of a dazed and confused opponent.  I get the impression Lon would enjoy it if his wrestling matches were gentlemanly contests of strength, skill and stamina between mutually respectful athletes.  Is this the mindset of a heel?  I’m not sure.  Then again, once he’s been provoked, once yet another cocky hunk has miscalculated the incredibly lean, aesthetically gorgeous physique star, the depth of his snarling, punishing cruelty is an astonishing thing to watch.  Thus provoked, the brutality stretching from corner to corner, trapped in the ropes, hair pulled, contempt raining down as Lon isn’t satisfied with literal victory, but insists on delivering complete humiliation and ego crushing psychological domination, certainly has the strong whiff of a highly accomplished heel.
Big Joe shows no respect
In Lon’s terribly mismatched ring battle with giant Joe Robbins in Gut Bash 8, he invited the massive side of beef in the ring with him to compare physiques.  As with most masses of muscle who climb into the wrestling ring, Joe is looking at different criteria in his side-by-side comparison.  Aesthetically, considering proportion, definition, overall conditioning, and the balance of leanness with muscle mass, Lon my be 95 pounds lighter and over half a foot shorter, but he’s head and shoulders above big Joe.  Lon gently insists on respect from the big man (which, of course, he doesn’t get) on every comparison of body part by body part until they get to flexing their quads.  Lon is the first to acknowledge that big Joe simply has him beat in that department.  Honestly, one of Joe’s upper thighs is about as thick as Lon’s waist (which says wonders about both bodies), but Lon puts it right out there that he’s got major work to do to get his legs in as mind-boggling a shape as his diamond carved abs.  Big Joe doesn’t give a flying fuck about Lon’s bodybuilding trophies and near approximation of perfect physical conditioning. The 240 pounder beats the living daylights out of my long time wrestler crush, determined to prove the point that his own undeniably strong, less defined abs are more “useful” than the living anatomy chart next to him.  I’m unconvinced that he proved that point, rather than establishing the fact that a 7 inch height advantage and a 95 pound weight advantage is hard to beat.  For my tastes, Lon takes the mugging like the champ he is, as exquisite in dining on suffering as he is on dishing it out.  But I’ll admit that my long-time infatuation with him strongly influences my interpretation of events.
Lon keeps improving on perfection

Lon has since been superseded in the ranks of my favorites by ass-tastic party boy Kid Karisma, but that’s hardly the extent of the changes.  As Hair Stakes illustrates, Lon is nothing short of shaggy these days, coming an incredibly long way from his former shaved scalp.  And of course Ethan Andrews is a mop head as well, establishing the highly entertaining premise of this match: loser loses his locks.  There’s been a good deal of armchair hairstyling from Lon fans, debating which “do” he rocks the best. Me, I’d sell my firstborn to get my hands all over him at any phase of his follicle development, though I have to admit I’ve got a big, roaring hard spot for watching Ethan wrap his fingers in Lon’s curls and drag him screaming across the ring.

Lon’s got a new hairdo and brand new bulging quads!

But holy hell, let’s not allow the title and explicit story of this match to distract us from the rest of what’s developed about Lon since I first fell in lust with him in Fantasymen 32.  He’s been through about 2 and a half competitive bodybuilding seasons since then, and his already worship-worthy body has come a long way.  Most provocatively for this viewer, Lon’s legs are phenomenal!

Hair Stakes, definitely… but look at those upper legs!

He’s certainly not going to get any more respect from big Joe Robbins, I’m sure, but a casual observer (or a rabid Lon Dumont fanatic, like me), has got to admit he’s packed on muscle mass while maintaining that insane, lean conditioning.  I think it helps that he’s not wearing knee pads, so we can see the mountainous heads on those lower quads (note to Lon: don’t wear knee pads).  But no one in their right mind can argue with the fact that like his hair, his legs have come a long, long way.

Lon takes the situation firmly in hand.

Having obsessed about his phenomenal body yet again, let me also repeat that Lon’s mouth continues to be one of the sexiest assets this stud brings with him in an already deep, deep arsenal of sexy assets.  Ethan is also a notorious trash talker.  His bread and butter at Rock Hard Wrestling is taking pretty muscle boys by surprise and destroying them in body while crushing them in mind and soul with his razor sharp tongue.  And perhaps that was his game plan when he climbed into the ring with Lon: one more muscle head to be taken for granted by only to out hustle with experience and dirty tricks along the way to watching them whither underneath an endless onslaught of ego bursting trash talk.  Verbally, the offense is Ethan’s from the start, because you know, Lon would have been just as happy to settle this like gentlemen.  Ethan is many things, but I can’t imagine he gets called a gentlemen often at all, at least not by his opponents.  He tells Lon he looks like a lesbian, which gets a slight chuckle and an eye roll from the bodybuilder.  Ethan drips condescension as he suggests Lon looks like a cancer patient in a bad wig.  Lon sneers and throws in another eye roll at both bad taste and poor humor.  But when Ethan suggests that Lon has crows feet, and that he’s probably getting too old to stay in the high impact game, Lon’s foot puts the pedal to the metal.  Note to future opponents: Lon does NOT like being mistaken for someone older than he is (how old is he?!).

Ethan is a master at serving up a dish of battered muscleboy most appealingly.

At the top of Ethan’s assets in homoerotic wrestling is his uncanny ability to not only make a pretty muscle boy suffer, but to display him so seductively.  When on offense in Hair Stakes, this match is no exception for him. He squeezes and stretches Lon’s bodybuilding competition-ready physique mouthwateringly.  He’s savvy and vicious and tenacious like a terrier (which is incredibly hot to me), and he sprinkles in verbal domination and slowly humiliating corporal punishment into this incredibly (and hilariously) sexy battle in which long hair is used by both battlers in delightfully creative, agonizing ways.

Lon’s lovely hamstrings and perfectly positioned ass!

With the extensive experience of both of these wrestlers, it should come as no surprise that the pace is relentless.  There’s little time spent jockeying for who’s on top because both boys are decisive and expert at applying holds.  It’s a chess match.  Move and counter, advantage secured then lost.

Lon’s curls bounce as he locks on a game changer.

But like so many smart ass hunks before him, Ethan can’t quite keep up with Lon’s barrage of trash talk or his mastery of the ring.  Lon subdues the scrapper by shutting his mouth for good, putting him out cold and displaying almost every one of his own mouthwatering muscles to perfection each step along the way.  Between being so beautifully displayed by young Ethan and then showing what all those pretty, pretty muscles are good for, this match does something momentous to me.  It stokes my Lon-mania back to full blast and results in the rare event of a change in the rankings of which wrestler owns me the hardest.

I’d trade places with Ethan here any… damn… time!

That’s right, Lon has upended (which, let’s face it, may be Kid Karisma’s best side anyway) Kid Karisma to decisively make me put the crown of my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler on his shaggy head.  Kid K is no more than half a step behind him by my count, so the competition is arousingly tight for the title.  I still give Eli Black the edge on a match by match comparison of Hair Stakes with Gut Bash 10 for the homoerotic wrestler of the month title.  But in the overall rankings, Hair Stakes gives Lon just the boot up on idle Kid K that he needs to climb to the top and sit very, very pretty.

Homoerotic Wrestling Fiction

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I’ve been catching up on a backlog of scorching hot homoerotic wrestling fiction submitted by a couple of excellent authors for the Sidelineland group.  I’ve been sitting on them a while, unfortunately, due to my diverted attention, but I’ve had time to get a few contributions posted in the past few days, and what a pleasure!

The stars of The Cave 9: Working it Out
Alex has two new chapters up in The Cave series.  If you haven’t read any of The Cave’s 9 chapters, smack yourself in the head and get caught up, because these most recent two matches are barnburners.  The many fans of The Cave know full well, and appreciate, the compelling drama charting the unraveling of the long-time best friendship between Cody and Ryan.  Once invincible sex wrestling stud, Cody, is The Bat to Ryan’s Bane, and big Ryan’s coconspirator, Pete, is more than ready to take Cody’s place as Ryan’s BFF (and sex puppy, and secretary, and life coach, and…).  The Cave 8: Working It Out documents the moment that the supervillainy honeymoon comes to a screeching halt, and Ryan and Pete turn heavyweight pent-up tension into a vicious, ass pounding mat match.

Cody is gorgeously stuck between a rock (Ryan) and a hard place (Ben) in The Cave 9: Three’s Company
Then in Chapter 9: Three’s Company, Alex has pulled together so many strings from the entire Cave series, but particularly chapters 7 and 8, for the sexiest three-way ring match I’ve ever read!  The slow burning grudge and long road to atonement between Cody and Ryan comes to a head with the addition of the incredibly hot catalyst of Cody’s (chapter 7) wrestling conquest/fuck buddy Ben more than holding his own, and indeed holding, squeezing and clawing his way into being an integral component of the high impact, fuck stakes reckoning of the former BFFs.

Big Sexy as Jobberinnyc’s “The Bartender”
The third new story I’ve posted to Sidelineland in the past few days is the sophomore contribution of Jobberinnyc, who’s given us a fantastic erotic wrestling fantasy between the wrestling kinked, 40 year old narrator and an unexpected, full contact, psychologically seductive home invasion of his 20-something hardbodied bartender.  Jobberinnyc told me that the title character was inspired my interview with my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, Kid Karisma, and the physical template of aptly named Big Sexy.  Now that’s a mind blowing combination!  And Jobberinnyc absolutely delivers what could easily be considered the manifesto for homoerotic wrestling jobbers everywhere.
The stars of the Producer’s Ring office beatdown Secretarial Pool 8, Nick Youngquest and Andrew Stetson

And one last bonus for you today comes from the pages of my homoerotic wrestling fiction collaborations.  A fan has been lobbying me for a while now to resurrect the career of deposed and humiliated former executive assistant and power hitter in the corporate world of my post-apocalyptic homoerotic wrestling universe, Andrew Stetson.  Andrew was a star in action and behind the scenes of several matches from the Producer’s Ring, and as added incentive to get me back to writing in the Producer’s Ring, and to get my fantasies back on the magic that Canadian model Andrew weaves in my imagination, a generous fan commissioned this graphic from one of Andrew’s most brutal matches.

Artist Guanino’s depiction of Nick Youngquest teaching Andrew Stetson a lesson he’ll never forget
From The Secretarial Pool 8, this is also one of my favorite out-of-the-ring images as well, in which Aussie sexbomb and rugby muscleboy Nick Youngquest locks the door of Andrew’s office to rip ‘n’ strip the upper management hottie and teach him a lesson in failing to exploit Nick’s talents to their fullest.  This match was a collaboration with another collaborator, Swito (still out there, Swito?  Haven’t heard from you in a while), who joined me in letting our imaginations run wild with picturing how homoerotic two hardbodied hunks can get when they’re locked up tight in a corporate office.  I particularly enjoy the creative use of Andrew’s tie, the last remaining item of clothing left to him, by the innovative and sadistic Aussie.  Extremely fine artist Guianino (who you MUST check out his blog and collection of homoerotic art!!!) has captured this moment from the story beautifully!

Indeed, I’m inspired!  I’ve been getting words on the page recently with a couple of Sidelineland projects and a couple of Producer’s Ring matches as well (sign up for access to the full archives if you haven’t already, and send me your works of original fiction to share, too!).  It’s good to be writing again, and it’s even better to enjoy the collective efforts of so many creative artists sharing the joy of homoerotic wrestling.

Love Putting on a Show!

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First 3-time winner of my homoerotic wrestler of the month title: Eli Black

There’s at least one person who was entirely unsurprised by my choice of Eli Black as the first 3-peat homoerotic wrestler of the month here at neverland: Eli Black.  In response to my post announcing his ascendancy to the HWOTM title for the record third time, I received this private message from him:

“And your… three time… HWOTM… Eli Black!!!!!!!!!!! All I can say is it’s about damn time, and trust me, I’m damn sure there is a lot more to come. I’m going to be the unbreakable record holder of championships!!!!! Because this is my world, and it’s what I do. Yins lucky to live in it and witness my glory!”

“… witness my glory!”

Eli’s supreme self-confidence doesn’t stoke everyone’s fire the way it does mine, but I’m completely sold on his laser-beam focused intensity and ferocity.  Oh, and his ass is astonishingly hot.  And his abs are fucking granite.  I replied to Eli:

“You’ve clearly convinced me (and Diego Diaz!)! Not like I need to tell you this, but the praise for your work is very well deserved. You are definitely the stud to beat!”

Eli convinces big Diego Diaz that he’s more than man enough for a “big man’s fight”

While you may not care for Eli’s style, you shouldn’t mistake his absolute certainty in his destiny as contempt.  He’s devastatingly brutal on the mat, in the ring, and in the cage, true.  He sports the conditioning of a stark raving, possibly diagnosable physique fanatic, sure.  But he also loves the drama, the suspense, and the spectacle.  He replied back to me:

“Thanks man. Love putting on a show!”

And perhaps that, more than anything, is what earned Eli his record 3 HWOTM titles (all in less than 12 months time, no less!).  He’s a showman as much as he’s an athlete, as much as he’s a badass, as much as he’s a fighter.  And he loves it.  And on the scene just over a year, he’s been a great addition and a high impact player in the world of homoerotic wrestling.

Keep ’em coming, Eli!  I’ve learned not to bet on the other guy!

“Love putting on a show!”

A Big Teddy Bear

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Former homoerotic wrestler of the month (October 2011) Aryx Quinn has one of the fiercest and most quickly mobilized base of fans of anyone featured on the pages of this blog.  Just about any poll he’s ever been part of here at neverland has resulted in his victory because within moments of the poll going live, his people are tweeting and retweeting instructions on stuffing the ballot box to over 9,000 followers.  I’ve been fascinated by his comic book proportions (tiny little waist and insanely wide shoulders) since I first saw him bring his particular brand of sexy to the BG East ring several years ago.  The opportunity to interview and get to know the curiously personable infamous heel was a pleasure for me, and the coincidence of getting to chat with him as his newest match from BG East was released, in which he takes full possession of sexy Alexi Adamov’s rippling muscles in Ring Revenge, was just fortuitous timing. The following is an odd mix of intimate self-disclosure and enigmatic diversion, which I suppose in some ways is emblematic of the complex young man who strikes terror in the heart of wrestling opponents and ecstasy up the ass of porn co-stars.

—————————
Aryx Quinn likes it hot

Bard: Just following you on Twitter is exhausting! Your travel schedule is mind-boggling! So I’m extra appreciative of you being willing to take a little time to answer some questions at neverland for your homoerotic wrestling fans. Most wrestling fans probably know you primarily as Aryx Quinn, while fans of mainstream gay porn may more readily recognize you as Tristan Baldwin. Any other names you’ve worked under? What should I call you, and where do your stage names come from?

Drake Marcos,
“time to do some fact-checking, son!”

Aryx: Thanks for the opportunity for an interview so that all your devout neverland followers can have answers to the questions that may have been itching at them over the years. Let me first begin by saying that your interview with Drake  Marcos was phenomenal. However, I think the kid’s tone in referring to wrestlers who are retired or out of the scene is somewhat off. Time to do some fact checking, son…because some of the wrestlers he referred to are very much NOT retired [laughing].
     As far as the ‘nomenclature’ or name game that seems to follow me – here is the reason why: the Aryx Quinn character’s origins were actually when I was a young teen playing Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I was a total ‘dork’ in society’s eye, but I could care less – I’m happy with me. Aryx was everything I wasn’t: tall, strong, handsome, confident.  For a pimply faced, unpopular, weak teen, he was a vessel in which to throw my dreams. Never thought I could be him,  until you fast-forward 10 years, and a stint in the 82nd Airborne later…came out as a changed boy into a man.
     Aryx was born, and into BG East he went. Out of respect for Kid Leopard, I kept the character’s name separate when taking it into a purely sexual role. The Tristan Baldwin moniker was a hybrid of two things.  Apparently, I look a bit like Stephen Baldwin, and some of my favorite characters have been named Tristan – namely Brad Pitt from legends of the fall, and Tristan from Tristan and Isolde. Other than that? There aren’t any other names I work under, and in retrospect, I wish I had just stuck with the basic Aryx Quinn for it all.

As Tristan Baldwin, Aryx gives gang-bang porn two thumbs up

Bard: You give courage to the legions of pimply faced, unpopular weaklings out there dreaming of growing into hard-bodied fight and fuck machines! I hope that’s not over the top… you’re absolutely phenomenal when you wrestle, and though I don’t spend a lot of time in mainstream gay porn, you’ve got a reputation as a crowd pleaser there as well. Since you brought up young Drake Marcos’ fawning, if slightly misleading, comments in his recent interview here, let’s start out with you telling us about where you are in your career right now. Definitely not retired, obviously! What projects are you working on now or expect to be soon?

Talk about “it gets better!”  Pimply faced weakling no more!

Aryx: Thanks Bard! I’d hardly consider myself an icon or motivator to legions of pimply faced fans, but at least I feel I would be representing my own kind well. As far as being a hard-bodied fuck machine, your’e making me blush. Don’t share my secret too much, or I won’t be able to find future victims. As far as my status with porn and also with wrestling, I’d like to think that certain aspects are like wine: they only get better with age. Right now, I’m at closest to the largest I’ve ever been in my life based on strength and muscular density. Given that I’m at my peak muscle-wise, why on god’s green earth would I stop wrestling? Although there has been a slowdown at Can-Am regarding production of a lot of wrestling videos, it is my intent to jumpstart that soon. Although there are a lot of talented wrestlers I’d like to face that are in BG East, given that the two feds do not intermix, it is unlikely that these matches will come about. Thus, Drake Marcos is safe for the time being.  As a slippery little snake you can’t get your head cut off if you don’t crawl out of your hole, after all. More likely than anything else, I’ll be participating in a bodybuilding show in the spring. Just to say I did one, after all.

Aryx trains for a bodybuilding competition

Bard: Your secret is way, way out when it comes to being a hard-bodied fuck machine, Aryx! And you say you’ve got more muscle now than ever!? I hope you’ll send me photographic evidence of this to share on the blog. I’m glad to hear that you’re planning on stirring the pot at Can-Am again. You infused a ton of character and story into their catalog when you arrived, which is something I appreciate in wrestling. But tell me, what’s up with the deep divide between Can-Am and BG East, do you think? It seems like more than just market competition. And when you arrived at Can-Am and laid down what has to be the sexiest trash-talking homoerotic wrestling challenge in history with a naked, sweat and cum soaked Rusty Stevens in Arena 1, there’s some pretty explicit Boston-trashing going on from both of you. Are there any hard feelings between you and the BG East boys?

Did Aryx cross a line
with Rusty Stevens?

Aryx: I’ll definitely keep you posted with updated pictures. As far as infusing energy into their product, I’m not the one with the checkbook, so unfortunately I don’t have the last say. Ron is doing very well with his main stream porn product line so the wrestling has, unfortunately, fallen to the wayside for him. I’m hoping to convince him otherwise. He has a great flair for the dramatic and knows what wrestling products will sell well, but there is only a finite limit of how much time there is in the day to produce content. As far as Rusty Stevens goes, I have no comment. Anyone who researches the history of things knows what was said and what was out of line. And we are talking about character and how to tell a story. IRL- In Real Life.
     As far as the comments trashing the East Coast and a certain Boston-based company, all I can say is that loyalty to a person should exceed everything else. The same mindset is not embraced in the leadership at BG East. For every new fish you think you’ll hook on the line you lose two that you already have on the strainer. Hard feelings? Lots of them. If you don’t know a good thing when you see it you’ll certainly know when it hits you with a clothesline.

Bard: Cryptic and pointed all at the same time! You’re a complex man, Aryx Quinn. Since I’m the one that has you on the line at the moment, so to speak, I don’t want you to get away without telling me some juicy bits about what you think are the highlights of your wrestling career thus far. Like I said, your verbal tussle with Rusty in Arena 1 followed by your full contact physical tussle in Arena 2 are some of my all time favorite mat moments. If you had to put your finger on one or two most memorable wrestling moments for you, what and who would you finger?

Nick Archer impressed Aryx with brains, brawn and bravado

Aryx: Well Bard, I do agree that the battle with Rusty Stevens was one of the most climactic in my career. Both muscle wise and verbal wise, he’s one of the few that could bring it to the next level. Other guys that I absolutely enjoyed wrestling were guys like Nick Archer. Such brawn, such brains, such bravado. Mike Colombo was another great wrestler that I loved squaring off with.  However, we never taped anything for BG East. It was all outside the ring. Perhaps I can release the one tape I do have of it in my own chronicles someday.

Aryx grew unintentionally stiff with Brad Rochelle

     Wrestling with Brad Rochelle was also interesting. At one point in the match (the Contract) I legitimately hurt him…was unintentionally very stiff. Brad absolutely lost it on me and for a good 10 minute segment of that match.  It was full-on real wrestling.

Mitch ripped out both of Aryx’ nipple rings

Another similar moment was when I was facing off against Mitch Colby for BG East, down in Florida [Ringwars 20]. At that time I had my nipples pierced, and I asked him if he was going to be punching me to make sure he kept the shots low and in the gut rather than high up on the chest. In all the confusion and hectic-ness of the match, he ended up punching and tearing out not just one, but both of the nipple rings, and I was literally bleeding and in intense pain during the match. It was not an easy one to work through.
     From a humor standpoint I remember during a taping when I was battling against Jimmy Gee.   Jonny Firestorm was just outside the ring. I continually was calling Jimmy a slob over and over and over again, and Jonny was just in stitches laughing.  It’s become a nonstop joke between us ever since.

Bard: You’ve got your own private collection with a Mike Colombo match?! I can name a dozen fans that would pop a cork to see that! It sounds like both the major bumps and bruises as well as the humor and good fun stand out for you. I’m glad your nipples have recovered from Mitch’s punishment! Are there any matches that stick out as particularly sexy from your perspective as a wrestler? Any particular opponents that turned you on hardest? Any particular moves, maneuvers, gear or settings that get your engine revving loudest?

Who else wants to see the lost tapes with Aryx wrestling Mike Columbo!?

Aryx: Thank you for being glad that my nipples survived Mitch’s punishment. I’m glad as well! Yes, the Mike Colombo tapes are great, but they’re very raw and rustic. It would take a lot of finishing work to make them good video for commercial use. Some fans might actually prefer that they’re so raw and rustic. As far as matches that stick out in the sexy category, to me sexiness is associated with suffering and dominance. The match with AJ Irons definitely falls into that bracket. To see him suffer so beautifully, such a great body on display, crying and murmuring in pain, is hot to me. He takes his beating like a real man, and he came back for more later, trust me. I love singlets especially singlets that are pulled halfway down from the shoulders, pinning the arms. Also love trees of woe and holding guys in the corner and in the ropes. See, you can beat them mercilessly… fuck them as you see fit.

AJ Irons “was born to be a jobber”

Bard: I’ve only seen pics from your match with AJ Irons. It sounds like that needs to go on my list of matches to see! From the promotional photos, it looks like AJ gets the full treatment, including an incredibly sexy tree of woe session. Since you’re training toward a bodybuilding competition, let’s talk for a moment about your body. At this point, when you’re at the top of your conditioning, what part of your physical development are you proudest of? What parts of your incredible physique are mostly genetic gifts, and what parts do you have to work at more?

Bulging shoulders and biceps

Aryx: Yes, AJ takes a beating like you’ve never seen before. Ron actually had to stop the taping at one point because I was throttling him so hard. But he was loving every second.  That kid was born to be a jobber.  I wouldn’t say I’m at the exact top of my point of conditioning, but I’m getting there. Once I do a few ” supplements” I think I’ll be in a better position to be competitive. Plus, I really need to tighten down the diet. My shoulders and biceps are always the biggest naturally and easiest part to train, whereas my chest and legs are the worst. I really have this mental block against training legs, unfortunately, just because I travel so much. I mean who really wants to be walking or stumbling around an airport after doing squats the day before and being unable to walk long distances necessary. It really is torture on yourself. How about you? The faceless being behind the website? What parts would you need or like to work on. Perhaps we can push each other! [laughing]

Bard: Why, thanks for asking! My core has always been my major strength. I can do an ab workout for hours. Quite a bit of Pilates and yoga have probably helped accentuate that over the years. My top weakness is the same as yours. I just despise leg workouts. I don’t enjoy them and seldom prioritize them, so it shows. Tell me the secret that works for you once you find it!

Aryx: Chances are I’ll never find. After all, the process of searching for something means you’re going to fail may times before you find it. I really don’t feel like failing that many times with legs before I find the right answer on how to do them. [laughing]

Bard: What are some things that fans don’t know about Aryx Quinn? What are some of your passions, other than dominating an opponent and fucking him dizzy?

Who’s top dog here?

Aryx: Outside of wrestling and working out, Aryx Quinn adores a tiny little black puppy named Madison… dresses her up in outfits and the whole 9 yards. I’ll have to send you some pictures. Throw those in the interview, but it might ruin the tough guy image. It’s pretty sad, but despite being a muscleboy, I still take orders from her. She’s just so damn cute. In the military I served as a paratrooper, so skydiving is still a great past time for me. I just don’t have the time to do it as much anymore. I have a personal rig and everything, but just don’t jump that often. I actually love to cook and am a huge fan of swordfish, steaks, scallops, shrimp, and especially clams like little necks, cherrystones, and quahogs. I think the real reason I like seafood is that it’s drizzled in butter. Probably why I’m such a huge fan of asparagus just because of the hollandaise sauce. Did I mention my diet needed some tightening down?  [laughing]
    Huge fan of the outdoors and being in the sun, so places like Vegas, San Diego, Los Angeles and Florida are on my list of priorities, year round. Prefer to be hot than cold any day. Aryx Quinn went to college for criminal justice but obviously not into enforcing the law …I’m into breaking it. [laughing]

Aryx “detains” and pats down hunky Alexi
in BG East’s new release Ring Revenge

Bard: Criminal justice!? Now that does surprise me. I’d have guessed economics or marketing. Then again, advanced training in involuntary detention and social deviance totally makes sense, having seen your wrestling repertoire! And the fact that you’re bonded to a dog is only further evidence of my long-standing theory that guys with dogs are automatically many times sexier. Please do send me pictures of you and Madison! I don’t think it will do anything for your image other than make you that much more of a fan favorite. Muscleboys infatuated with their puppies are incredibly hot! Can you tell me any more about your paratrooper days? My entire frame of reference for military service is limited to bad gay porn involving guys in fatigues throwing down in the barracks and fucking each other for hours on end. It’s just like that, isn’t it? [laughing]

Aryx: As far as economics or marketing, I’ve definitely always had more of a business mind than a law-enforcement mind.  However those skinned up hairdos and tough alpha male looks always attract me. Social deviance. That’s me in a nutshell. Do you know that during the polygraph screenings for the state of Connecticut for the majority of the police departments, there is a section entitled ‘deviance?’ Here there are a variety of questions that they ask you about inappropriate things you might of done at work or during sex, and believe it or not, one of the questions pertains to homosexuality… almost as if it’s a deviant topic! Why list it under this heading, unless they clearly don’t approve? So politically incorrect it’s not even funny.

Aryx stokes my military porn fantasies

     The army was an interesting time for me. I grew up very small – not very muscular – just lean and fast, but not very bulky. I swear, I put on 30 pounds the first summer when I enlisted. It really did make a man out of me. I was stationed at Fort Bragg in North Carolina with the 82nd airborne, and then later with USACAPOC, part of SOCOM (special operations command). Although our soldiers typically aren’t paid very much – the sheer majority live at or below the poverty line – it was one of the most fun and exhilarating times my entire life. Because your basic needs of food and housing are taken care of, it allows you a lot of time to concentrate on what you really enjoy… your body, going out, reading, movies. I really feel like I had less stresses when I was in the military than any other time in my life.
     Bard, you laugh! Your “bad porn” fantasy of guys in fatigues throwing down in the barracks isn’t far from the truth. It was always commonly known that if you wanted something it could be had. There was also a room at the end of the hall where we put extra mattresses… entire room was covered them. We called this the boom-boom room. If two guys had an issue they could go into the room, fight it out, wrestle it out, choke each other out, beat each other, get it out of their system. Hot, hot stuff.

Bard: Damn! I’m going to have to reevaluate my “military” wrestling porn! And I took what was, I’m sure, the same standardized mental health test that you’re talking about, for a job I once had. I was also shocked about the homosexuality questions. That test was originally developed over 70 years ago, and there are a lot of ridiculous questions that never made good sense, but today they’re downright insulting. I’m glad that times are changing when it comes to recognizing what’s “normal” is broader and deeper than what many people used to think it was decades ago.
     So I just saw on your Twitter feed that you were named Escort of the Year. Congratulations! I was just getting turned on by reading several of your clients’ extremely satisfied reviews of their time with you. It sounds like a lot of them find it a special treat to have you put on some wrestling gear and work them over as a dominating heel. What do you think about the role of wrestling kink, pain, and domination in the sexual fantasies of so many gay men?

“… at least 30 to 40% of my calls involve
wrestling or gear.”

Aryx: Although many people would look at winning an award like escort of the year and laugh about something like that, saying it’s nothing to be proud of, etc., the way I look at it is that if you’re going to do something, don’t do it half assed. Whatever you’re going to do, be the best at it. I try and bring a ton of energy to every session, and whether the guy is a great-looking muscle boy or an older, heavyset guy with physical limitations, you as the escort have the sole capability to make that person feel good. To me, I enjoy making others in this world smile. Whether it be what I do on tape or whether it be what I do in person.  It’s always nice to be remembered.
     Let me tell you, the wrestling and gear fetish is much more widespread than people think. When I say that at least 30 to 40% of my calls involve wrestling or gear of some kind… it’s pretty cool. Also, it makes you wonder. Given that there so many people out there that are into this, how come people from global fight don’t actually link up more? It seems like there are so many flakes out there or people are too closeted about it, when there is no reason to be. It’s completely normal, and if you think you’re alone, you’re not.  There are a shit ton of people into this.

“Whatever you’re going to do, be the best at it.”

     As far as pain and humiliation in the fantasies of gay man, I actually have a negative outlook on it. I get a ton of requests (that I refuse to honor) of guys that want to be punished because they are gay. Many were raised in households where it was thought to be an embarrassment, where they had to keep it closeted, so they thought they were letting their families down or were disappointments. They don’t realize that times have changed. I cannot tell you how many requests I get for being called a ‘filthy worthless faggot’, and have these fantasies about being punished by ‘straight’ jocks. I just won’t do calls like this. Physical pain and humiliation/dominance I will, but that kind of disgusting mental stuff is too much for me. I actually am a big teddy bear, believe it or not.

Bard: Regarding the “punish me” aspect of homoerotic wrestling, I’ve often wondered how much internalized crap there could be in some corners of our kink world… the “hurt me ’cause I’m just a little faggot” self-hatred script…. I’m glad to hear it’s a line you won’t cross. When I see the “smear the queer” theme in wrestling products, I have a similar response. I just walk away.

Aryx: I couldn’t agree more with the total disgust towards the ‘smeer the queer’ direction that not just some wrestling products, but mainstream porn too, is heading in! Men.com is infamous for having ‘gay-hazing’ scenes, and I cannot understand for the life of me why people are purchasing such a product! It’s disgusting! I’ll never cross that line, no matter how much you pay me. Or…errr…well….it’d have to have a lot of zeros…and then when it clears, I’ll come and kick the ass of the person who produced it,
for real. [laughing] … and use the money for my legal defense.
     By the way, boy do I have news for you! A guy who enjoys wrestling that I connect with outside of work, is friends with Drake Marcos. He FaceTimed..which is a live connection via phone like Skype… with Drake while we were wrestling together in a hotel room. So Drake saw me battle my friend for over two hours! Isn’t he just a cute little thing?! Cheshire Cat, indeed. As I was putting my friend into hold after hold, I was sure to look at the phone and give the finger and talk shit to him…and I cannot wait for the day that we get to battle.

Maddy and her muscleboy

Bard: Hot damn, that may be one of the hottest erotic wrestling fantasies I’ve heard in a long time! I have it on good authority that Drake was blown away by the opportunity to see you in action live. The voyeurism, the trash talk toward Drake while working over his buddy… holy shit that sounds so… damn… hot! That infamous grin on Drake’s face is going to be permanently tattooed there!
     On the theme of you being a big teddy bear, I just got the pics you sent of you and Maddy, and it’s clear that that girl’s got you wrapped around her little paw. Adorable, and that adoring smile on the face of notorious wrestling badboy Aryx Quinn is astonishingly sexy. Love it!
     You’ve been really generous with your time during a busy time of year. I want to thank you for being so patient with me in getting this interview lined up. Anything else you’d like to say to your legions of wrestling fans?

The one in the driver’s seat…

Aryx: Bard, you haven’t been a burden on my time at all! It’s a welcome opportunity to address the fans directly, without the censorship or ‘character’ or the respective federations kinda enforced upon it. I think it’d really blow a lot of the fans’ minds, if they saw what some of the BGE and Can-Am guys were like, ‘out of character.’ Total role reversals. Thanks again for your time too, stud, and I hope you have a great upcoming year! Give me a buzz or an email any time.

Mahalo, Aryx!