While I ran with the herd for many of BG East’s 2013 Best ofs, I was on my own for most of the categories. That works for me. I’m on the record many times over celebrating diverse tastes among homoerotic wrestling fans. If we were all getting our cranks turned by the exact same products, what a narrower and less vibrant scene this would be! That said, I want to tip my hat to the winners as well as make my final case for my picks that didn’t materialize. Here are a few…
It was Jake Jenkins who, for the second year running, owned Babyface of the Year for 2013. Jake is one of the most earnest, hottest, hardest hunks in the business, so it’s no wonder at all he gets this award another go round. I, however, had to reluctantly turn my back on Jake when I cast my ballot for…
… the paradigmatic babyface, Brad Rochelle. I tell you, the earth fucking shook when Brad stormed back into the ring in catalog 100! He’s not as fresh or young as Jake, but I’ll be damned if watching Brad work his magic in three separate matches (that’s 4 opponents… 5 if you count some sucker punches by Jonny!) reminded me hard why he is THE star of so many of my fondest homoerotic wrestling fantasies. Sure, I’ll give you, there may have been a smidge of nostalgia in my vote, but when I look back on the babyface that will define 2013 for me, it’s got to be Brad.
You, the majority, selected Jonny Firestorm as Heel of the Year 2nd year in a row. I do not quibble about this in the least. Jonny is, day in and day out, catalog after catalog, the most dominant presence of punishment at BG East. Incredibly sexy and dangerous, he’s an ideal top heel. I totally agree, except…
… when it comes to the perfect combination of bone chilling terrifying and blood pumping supercharged erotic, I’ll always break toward the one who is so vicious it’s in his name. Kid Vicious is always at the top of my list when it comes to brutality and pitch-perfect erotic domination.
The majority broke for Rio Garza as Jobber of the Year for the second year running. Again, I do not quibble with Rio’s supreme beauty, nor his epic qualifications for this title. When it comes to sheer beauty amplified by being crushed, there’s no one more beautiful or crushable. However…
… looking only at their 2013 releases, I have to say, Z-Man crushed it when it came to getting crushed, at least for me. He’s come such a long way, and honestly, the mystique of “maybe this time” sticks to him like rubber cement, making me tune in over and over to see if he sells suffering on that steadily rising learning curve he’s been on once again. No disrespect to Rio at all, but I’m totally convinced that Z-Man was top jobber this year.
I freely admit that I shocked myself by NOT voting for the eventual winner (2nd year in a row) for Best Bulge, Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!). Mr. Joshua’s mammoth package is hard to argue with, though I wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to give it a severe tongue lashing. It’s like a third wrestler in the ring, anytime he shows up for work. I’ve been going on and on about Mr. Joshua’s oversized baggage for years, but…
… I was absolutely hypnotized by the humungous produce stuffed down Pretty Pete Sharp’s trunks in his gazebo bout with Kid Karisma. I won’t be satisfied until I see these boys side by side, cock by cock, balls by balls, with a measuring stick in my hand and their trunks at their ankles, of course. But talk about presence! Kid K was literally having to wrestle around that gargantuan bulge (because clearly Pretty Pete has a contract rider that requires the boys to keep their hands off… for now…). There are no trunks built that can entirely cover Pretty Pete’s bulge entirely, not when the action gets nice and intense. I say it again, I’m shocked to say I didn’t vote for Mr. Joshua, but I stand by my opinion that Pretty Pete’s bulge was most impressive in 2013.
Best Body is, I think, the second toughest call to make in this poll. And I don’t begrudge Z-Man one bit for winning, particularly since he didn’t get Jobber of the Year. It’s been said by better men than me that Z-Man’s consistent, phenomenal conditioning is superhuman. Day after day, this stunning stud shows up ripped and gorgeous. He unseated last year’s winner Rio Garza, and I wouldn’t criticize the taste of anyone who thought he was top bod in 2013. But for me…
… Kid Karisma was from front to back, top to bottom, the hottest body competing in 2013. Kid K’s thighs absolutely dwarf Z-Man’s, and although Z-Man’s bod is stunningly gorgeous, I have to say Kid K’s conditioning in 2013 was un-fucking-believable. There’s not an ounce of anything other than mouthwatering beautiful, rock hard muscles on this man. Of course he has the Best Butt. But body part by body part and in sum total, I was most moved by Kid Karisma as Best Body last year.
I’ll save the rest of my lone wolf picks, but for now, let me just say again how much I respect all the winners and runners- up. And let me remind you again that you have until the end of the month to get the winning matches at a 25% discount!
I’ve promised myself not to lobby too hard for any of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers up for end-of-the-year best of BG East “BGs” awards, but I will tell you that you need to vote. I will not attempt to sway public opinion. I will not attempt to sway public opinion. I will not attempt….
I’m late in anointing a new Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month. I’ll get to it, but in the mean time, let me dedicate this edition of Tuesday Trunk Pulls to the still reigning HWOTM, for the moment, the living legend himself, Brad Rochelle. Trunk pulls get my juices flowing a little faster, particularly when the pull-ee is a hunk with sculpted muscles, boyish innocence, and a telegraphed unlikeliness to venture into the deep end of homoerotic wrestling, where gear gets stripped entirely. The trunk pull teases and titillates, tempting with a glimpse or even just a hint of the beauty beneath the trunks, a treasure that possibly no one may get their hands on in the ring, but nevertheless inspires boundless hopes and fantasies. I think there may be no better ambassador for the power of the trunk pull than epic babyface beauty, Brad Rochelle. In order of his appearances, here are the trunk pulls (delivered and received) of a storied, inspiring career in homoerotic wrestling…
Mikey Vee delivers a stunning scene of displaying Brad’s power and beauty at the moment of being broken, demonstrating that those trunks do come off, even if not within the view of the camera in Fantasymen 17.The very next catalog in which Brad appeared displayed another brutal, beautiful muscle heel, Dante Rosetti, prying Brad’s body out of the corner with a gorgeous trunk pull in order to pound him back again in Hunkbash 5.Brad’s next visit to Hunkbash town (Hunkbash 6) saw his hot, muscled arms trapped in the ropes, giving Joe Mazetti unrestricted access to pound the shit out of Brad’s sculpted abs once more. For better leverage on those blows, Joe yanks on the trunks, stretching the fabric taunt over the contours of Brad’s cock and balls.
When Brad found himself beholden to a patently exploitative employment contract with the Boss, the theme of exploiting Brad’s fantasyman body in endless variations of torture and humiliation led, inevitably, to more violent tugs on his innocent-white gear, such as when Aryx Quinn exposed Brad’s cheeks while tossing him back inside the ring in Contract 3.Thankfully not content with a rear trunk pull, Aryx lined Brad up nice and square with the camera and yanked hard on the front of the babyface’s trunks, giving us what, as far as I can tell, is the only appearance of Brad’s cock in a wrestling match… to date….The brutal demands of The Contract began to take a toll on the infinitely earnest beautiful baby face, leading him to lash out with occasionally underhanded and sadistically humiliating moments of his own, such as Brad’s first trunk pull delivered on Cameron Matthews in Contract 5.At the first sign that Brad was being provoked to lash out against the confines of sportsmanship, The Boss was back in the ring to pound the prettyboy back into submission, exposing Brad’s gorgeous, alabaster cheeks with a nasty, wedgie-inducing trunk pull with a hair pull chaser in Contract 5.
Once Brad turned full on heel in Contract 6, all hell broke loose at BGE the moment that The Boss was out of town. Brad began doling out heaping helpings of the brutality and humiliation he’d suffered for so many years, such as exposing Jed Jamison’s cheeks with a Boss-inspired trunk pull/hair pull combination in Contract 8.Brad seemingly couldn’t get his fingers dug into the gear of his opponent’s fast enough, next working out his frustrations by nearly ripping Braden’s Charron’s briefs apart with a prostate-tickling trunk pull from behind in Contract 8.By Contract 9, Brad clearly had a taste for straining the seams of his hapless opponent’s gear. He literally rips a hole in Steven Thomas’ brutalized trunks, paying forward the humiliating, nasty treatment his gorgeous physique (and gear) had sucked up for so long.In the climactic Contract 10, The Boss took matters into his own hands once again, determined to send the most vaunted jobber in a generation back where he “belongs” while simultaneously demonstrating that Brad’s sweet cheeks never looked sweeter.Proving just how sweet those cheeks are, Brad shows the truest sign of class by letting the wedgie ride, turning the tables on The Boss, and making Kid Leopard himself plant his submissive lips on Brad’s trunk-pulled ass (oh, please, Br’er Fox, don’t throw me in that briar patch!)
Of course, Brad fans and homoerotic wrestling sleuths discovered long ago that, although Brad has never bared all in the ring… yet…. he was featured as a “real man of the month” in Playgirl where he proved that every inch we’ve never seen was just as pretty as every inch we had.
From Playgirl’s Real Man of the Month to neverland’s Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month, Brad Rochelle demonstrates there’s treasure to be found in a trunk pull!
I keep thinking that I’ve run out of sexy Trees of Woe to feature for my alliterative Wednesday post, but alas and again, another assortment to amuse the aficionado of the application of this hot hold.
Kid Leopard demonstrates woe from multiple angles on hunky, hung, hung-out-to-dry Ken Decker in BG East’s Demolition 4.Dick the Prick has muscle hunk Casey Cutler right where I want him as he grinds waves of woe in BG East’s Ring Wars 3.
The source of endless woe, Brooklyn Bodywrecker digs his elbow deep into trapped Mark Nelson in BG East’s Demolition 3.Jonny Firestorm first holds Zach Zilver suspended by his hair in a ToW, then let’s go, pounding the twink’s head into the mat in BG East’s Demolition 10.Who here wouldn’t trade places with young Patrick Donovan, trussed up so sweetly in a ToW and then finding hot young hunk Brad Rochelle’s muscled ass resting on your face?! It’s in BG East’s Wrestlefest 2!
Am I the only one around here whose blood pumps a little faster when a wrestler yanks on his opponent’s trunks? No, of course I’m not. I bet I’m not even the only one who’s poured over stills of trunk pulling to catch a glimpse of what’s hidden on some of the demure hunks of homoerotic wrestling who otherwise have not (yet) put their junk on display in the ring. So here are some Tuesday Trunk Pulls to give you a little leverage on your work week.
Hottest trunk pull ever? Possibly. Hunky rookie (years later, now Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month) Brad Rochelle is firmly in the control of vicious heel Mikey Vee in BG East’s Fantasymen 17.Aryx Quinn generously gives us just a glimpse of the monster (and his collar) that lurks beneath the trunks of Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) in BG East’s Ring Hunks 1.Before I’d seen Mitch’s full monty, Cole Cassidy’s trunk pull had me apoplectic to see more and more of the gorgeous stud’s topography in BG East’s Ring Wars 15.Jonny Firestorm demonstrates the mastery and beauty of a trunk pull from behind, showing off Austin Raine’s naked ass in BG East’s Wrestlefest 3.Hunky, hairy, dangerous Dark Rogers appears awed by what he unwraps after destroying Jason Ward for stakes in BG East’s Private Bouts 117-120.Come full circle, Dante Rosetti treats Mikey Vee’s insanely gorgeous, muscled ass to a humiliating trunk pull in BG East’s Fantasymen 14.
Sure, “hump day” has a nice ring to it, but I know I’m not alone in enjoying taking time out in the middle of the week to appreciate the fine art that is a Tree of Woe. The ToW portrays such vulnerability, such anticipation, capturing so much back story and foreshadowing impending doom on the horizon…. just like most Wednesdays in my life. Here are a few choice ToW’s to put the torture of Wednesday into homoerotic wrestling perspective.
New Pro Wrestling’s hunky Viper gets hung out to dry in a ToW in Irish Lads of the Ring 4.BG East’s Cole Cassidy digs that elbow deep into the throbbing, massive bulge of sweaty, suffering stud Derek Da Silva in Cole’s Wrestler Spotlight.Cocky goldenboy Austin Cooper strings lean fighting machine Eli Black up and uses him as a punching bag at Rock Hard Wrestling.Austin seems to have a taste for making an opponent suffer in a ToW, because he does it yet again to bodybuilder beauty Lucas (aptly named) Payne at Rock Hard Wrestling.But Austin learns that Karma’s a bitch when new hardbodied hottie Trent Novak dishes out a heaping helping of what Austin’s been serving to everyone else at Rock Hard Wrestling.Ken Mason learns what’s worse than being stuck between a rock (Kid Leopard) and a hard place (Kid Vicious): being stuck there in a ToW in BG East’s Tag Team Torture 1.BG East’s Kid Vicious has absolutely everything singlehandedly in hand when it comes to exploiting the vulnerable muscles of Jeff Jordan in a ToW in Demolition 2.Rio Garza forcibly puts the breaks on the vicious heel tactics of Jobe Zander with an unapologetic crotch crushing ToW in Can-Am’s Rio’s Revenge.Perhaps the very definition of a babyface beatdown, BG East’s Joe Mazetti kicks the crap out of an achingly young and beautiful Brad Rochelle in Hunkbash 6.Did a Tree of Woe ever turn out so right as when painfully pretty Troy Baker defied the law and snapped those golden thighs around the head of The Sheriff in BG East’s Ringwars 8?!
Let me wipe the sweat off my brow (not to mention any other bodily fluids) and return to my senses. I’m sure I’ll spend a whole lot more time sucking out the marrow from the mouthwatering delicacies BG East has presented in their centennial catalog, but I’ve got serious business to do, now that I’ve pushed pause. I feel the need to elevate from among possibly the most competitive field I’ve ever seen one wrestler to crown as my pick for homoerotic wrestler of the month. Occasionally, newbies to neverland demonstrate that they don’t know what I’m talking about when I laud a new HWOTM, so let me just review the concept for you who have just tuned in:
Each month, I take a look at the new releases from homoerotic wrestling producers the month prior. My usual suspects are BG East, Can-Am, Muscle Domination Wrestling, Naked Kombat, Rock Hard Wrestling, and Thunder’s Arena, and every so often an “independent producer” makes a play for serious contention (e.g., Steel Muscle God, or the rare foray into the genre by mainstream porn producers). The criteria are simple and straightforward. The wrestler I name must have appeared in a new release during the prior month, and he must be the one hunk who stands out for having turned me on the hardest. Sometimes readers read more into it than that, but that is, genuinely the scope.
Savoring the new releases that were produced in September by the above masters of wrestling-for-gay-eyes, my task was simply brutal. There are months when I actually give the title a pass because I just don’t think the field was of high enough quality, but September 2013 posed precisely the opposite problem. Way, way too much goodness streaming down, nearly drowning me as I try to keep my head above water and put everyone else but one standout wrestler into the category of also-rans. There were serious contenders from every producer on my go-to list, but in the end, I went with my gut and stuck to the premise, choosing the wrestler that turned me on hardest…
Brad Rochelle – 6′, 190 lbs, a living legend
…Brad Rochelle. Again, particularly for those of you new to neverland, be warned that I bulldoze right through spoiler material without a passing thought for anyone wanting to remain in suspense about details of most of the matches I talk about. So if you don’t want to know particulars about the climactic chapterin the Contract series, turn away now. Because I’ve got shit I’ve simply got to say!
Brad bends like none other!
First of all, Contract 10 is an awesome testimony to the masterful ensemble that has been responsible for BG East catalogs 1-100. There’s no denying that, as with every Contract DVD, Brad is “the star.” However, the climactic chapter pulls in boys in front of and behind the camera, newbies, paradigmatic veterans, cameramen, and not to be overlooked (for fear of getting my ass kicked), The Boss himself, Kid Leopard. As I’m often chided when I do the HWOTM, the quality of Contract 10 is entirely owed to everyone who is a part of it, not only Brad. But because everyone who is a part of it knows what the fuck they’re doing, they push Brad Rochelle with grace and conviction, and Brad is nothing if not ready to ride that wave and absolutely shine as the rudder to this ship.
Two muscled studs aren’t anywhere close to enough to conquer the veteran babyface Brad Rochelle!
Let me give you just a little premise to provide context. Brad’s reign of terror as the jobber-turned-heel has come to an abrupt end, now that KL has cottoned on to exactly what the legendary babyface Brad has been up to when The Boss’ back has been turned. Brad is bagged and tagged by the back office boys, dragged before KL quite literally sitting on his throne, and once again offered an escape clause to his soul-crushing small print servitude to his contract. If he can beat a wrestler of The Boss’ choosing, he can walk away a free man. If not, and I kid you not, he’s “fucked.” Yeah, that got my attention, too. Just as an aside, as The Boss is saying this, Kid Vicious is excitedly rubbing his crotch through his jeans. Yep, me too.
Brutalized babyfaces stacked like firewood.
The Boss’ right-hand man, Jonny Firestorm, takes it upon himself to toss Brad’s fine, fine ass into the ringagainst gorgeous baby face beauties Chace LaChance and Attila Dynasty(whose massive package, which does not quite remain contained, deserves a contract of it’s own). Yes, Brad, both of them, Jonny explains. Jonny scoffs at Brad’s incredulity, pointing out a living legend like Brad should have no problem manhandling a couple of prettyboys. Now, Brad’s faced 2-on-1 beatings before in the Contract, and though it’s never been easy, he has (post-heel-turn) come out on top. Chace and Attila are gorgeous, acrobatic, awesome competitors, but though they crash like waves into the living legend, Brad beats the living shit out of them both, one at a time. The boys are humiliated, and Brad is a fucking fantastic bully every step of the way. He taunts and torments them. He teases and reviles them. This is incredibly hot wrestling domination, brought to a sudden and screeching halt when Jonny abruptly knocks Brad out cold with the video camera and tells the babyface wonder-twins that “the fix is on!” As Jonny leaves to show hit footage to The Boss, Chace and Attila go to town on the dazed man who has defined homoerotic wrestling suffering for a generation of us. One long 2-on-1 session brings Brad to the edge of endurance. They rip and pry and crush him. And with pathos dripping from the screen like sweet honey, the babyface hero battles back from exhaustion and rips victory from the jaws of defeat.
Jeremy Tyler absolutely crushes Brad!
When Jonny returns to find Brad post-victory, he pounds the living legend in the face with his video camera so hard that the equipment breaks into pieces! Brad is OUT, waking only to find himself staring way, way up at pornboy wrestling muscle monster BG East newcomer, Jeremy Tyler, in the BG East matroom. I’m not sure if Brad’s nursing a concussion, but he probably is, based on his complete defenselessness against Jeremy’s pounding, grinding, ominously slow onslaught. I’m dying to see the original footage to this match, because the camera fades in and out, I’m guessing capturing Brad’s own slippery hold on consciousness as he’s dismantled, demoralized, and finally forced to flex in complete submission. “Flex for me!” Jeremy snarls in his rumbling bass voice, ripping the shoulder straps of Brad’s singlet down and showing that his muscles are decisively bigger than the “legend’s.”
The Boss grabs hold and gets ready to deliver on his promise to make sure Brad is truly fucked.
Brad comes too, once again back in the BG East ring, now cuffed into the ropes and at the mercy (like, when wasn’t he?) of Kid Leopard. There are lines that have not been crossed with Brad, as far as I can recollect. If someone is going to cross lines, however, it’s going to be The Boss. Brad is viciously controlled by a full throttle ball claw. He’s battered and beaten by the master himself, heel-in-chief, the man who defined “homoerotic wrestling heel” even more prototypically than Brad defined “homoerotic wrestling jobber.” The Boss squeezes those luscious melons of Brad’s glutes. He yanks, hard, on Brad’s trunks to deliver one of the most mouthwatering and anticipated wedgies in history.
They call him The Boss for a reason!
The Boss suspends Brad like a trophy elk across the top turnbuckle, choking him with his belt in one hand and crushing Brad’s testicles with abandon in the other hand. Brad screams. Brad chokes. Brad coughs in that way that he has, communicating with ever inch of his body and breath that he’s on the edge of panic and annihilation. And though I’ve mentioned it before, I just need to say again, his wedgied ass is a work of art!
The master’s tools…
KL kicks the babyface carcass out of the ring and looks ready to put him out and make Brad pay-up on those terms he “negotiated” earlier, when shockingly, the babyface turns the tables. Slipping on a face-smothering kiss-of-death, he catches The Boss by surprise. That’s right, babyface Brad latches on Kid Leopard’s own signature hold, outmuscling the Man. Jonny Firestorm walks into the ring room and is shocked to see KL nearly out cold, desperately waving Jonny over to intervene. “Just walk away,” Brad snarls darkly at The Boss’ intimidated henchman. Jonny wavers, second guesses, but the fierce look on Brad’s face (and possibly Brad’s glorious physique flexed and clutching his prey like a boa), convince Jonny to obey… Brad!
Where no wrestler’s lips have gone before…
The carnage is fucking epic! Brad quite literally and, no shit, honest to god in fact, nearly drowns Kid Leopard, first in his own bidet, and then in his own toilet. The living legend has had so much more than enough. He brutalizes the heel-in-chief like I’ve certainly never seen before, finally “forcing” Kid Leopard to kiss his beautiful ass (oh, please, Br’er Fox, don’t throw me into the briar patch), and finally, climactically, flexing and threatening him from behind, makes The Boss sign the “release clause” in the bane of his life for the past 8 years: the Contract.
Brad Rochelle – HWOTM and career finale in Catalog 100?!
This entire DVD is a work of art. You know how much I love a well-told narrative, and the boys at BG East have pulled out all the stops to deliver a compelling, shocking, climactic story of revenge, retribution, reckoning, and, perhaps, redemption. Like I said, there are no unessential elements in this production, so naming Brad HWOTM is not to imply he got there on his own. However, he more than carries through on his part of the bargain, selling both wrestling domination, soul-wrenching suffering, and a rageful, righteous reckoning that ties together every sordid chapter in the Contract series. The finale of Brad’s Contract is a perfect bookend to its beginning. And based on that finale, I have to question whether I’ll ever have another chance to name Brad Rochelle HWOTM, considering he is literally soaking in the sun on the beach and laughing to himself about what KL must have in store for Jonny “Firefly” after his second-in-command walked away and left him to the babyface’s retribution. All of my anticipation of Brad’s return, I’m certain, contributes to the undeniable fact that his work in Contract 10 turns me on unbelievably hard, even harder than several other matches released in September that would, in any other month, have been shoo-ins for victory. So all hail the return of the living legend, and let me be first in line to offer to follow in The Boss’ footsteps and plant my lips on Brad’s beautiful ass. Because Brad Rochelle is neverland’s reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month!
Or is that the third coming!? Whatever the fuck you want to call it, the earth just shook a little underneath my feet, because I just landed on the BG East website and saw the huge reveal celebrating BGE’s release of their 100th catalog: Brad Rochelle is back!
Tease no more, Brad Rochelle is back!
I’d heard told this prophecy over 2 years ago when I made my humble pilgrimage to BG East Headquarters. Kid Leopard and several of the boys assured me that Brad was returning to the homoerotic wrestling universe and that all hell was breaking loose in response. I even was granted some epic preview pics from, what turns out to be, The Contract 10: The Reckoning, that I dutifully shared with the saints and apostles of homoerotic wrestling here at neverland. And still, over the past 2 years, I’ve been questioned, interrogated even, as to the veracity of my gospel account that Brad would one day return. Doubters and nay-sayers questioned my integrity. My devout belief in the promise handed down to me at times left me a little cold and lonely, as other homoerotic wrestling fans rolled their eyes and encouraged me to abandon all hope. It’s not really going to happen. They’re just stringing us Brad-fans along. You’ve been duped.
Brad double-troubled.
Well, suck it you apostates! Brad Rochelle is back in Contract 10, appearing in the ring, on the mats, in the back offices, in the hallways… fuck, the guy apparently takes the action into the bathrooms of the BG East compound! First up, it appears that Brad’s trip to hell includes facing two dangerous hunks at once in the BGE ring: Attila Dynasty and Chace LaChance. This isn’t the first 2-on-1 Brad’s faced down, and he’s been precisely the hunk with the skills and strength to come out on top in the past. But does he take two of the finest young asses in the BG East stable today?
Brad forced to flex!!?
When I posted the potentially apocryphal photos I’d been handed from on high a couple of years ago, I misidentified Brad’s mat opponent as a shaggy-headed Denny Cartier. I was corrected, and Contract 10 provides abundant proof that Brad gets put through the ringer by none other than Naked Kombat alum, hunky stud Jeremy Tyler. The match description on the website makes it seem pretty clear that gorgeous Jeremy absolutely crushes Brad in his second-coming tracks, and the pics make me lose my shit all over again with what appears to be a forced-to-flex scenario with Brad’s head hanging down on hits chest in defeat, his arms outstretched like a homoerotic wrestling Jesus on the cross.
The Boss takes matters into his own hands.
Holy shit, match 3 looks insane. Brad opponent? The Boss himself, Kid Leopard. Are you kidding me!?! The prototypical sadist heel extraordinaire and the hunky babyface who battled way, way back from jobberhood to give his turn on the heel wheel himself!? The Boss’ return to full-on ring action would be worthy of trumpet fanfare itself, but his return to take matters (i.e., Brad’s balls) into his own hands is nothing short of seismic! I can’t make heads or tails of what happens, because the website is milking the suspense with further sadistic mastery (like what Brad fan needed more coaxing to put in their order for this one!?). But what I see in the previews is intensely exciting, including Brad’s mouthwatering ass exposed, slapped, and, what’s this, kissed!?! There have not been many who managed to take Brad by his bull balls, but holy shit, it certainly looks like The Boss can add that to his trophy case, as well. Again I say, this looks like absolute insanity in worthy proportion to the epic historical moments that Contract 10 documents!
Still bringing fans to their knees!
Finally, to those particular doubting Thomases who not only questioned my integrity in passing along the promise of Brad’s second-coming, but argued that Brad was probably bloated and completely out of shape at this point, again I just have to say: suck it! Fuck me, please! Brad does to me in these previews exactly what he’s done to me every moment of his career that I’ve enjoyed over and over again. He’s hot, hard, and handsome as ever, aged beautifully, and lickable from head to toe. There are lots of reasons there’s long been a feverish cadre of Brad-fanatics obsessively worshipping on their knees for every single minute of every match of his career. Just one of the reasons is that he was, and remains, a gorgeous hunk of man! Welcome back, Brad. Some of us have been faithfully waiting for you!
Red-white-and-blue junior Captain Americas as pretty, pumped, and competitive as babyfaces can be: Jake Jenkins and Austin Cooper
All in the same day a couple of days ago, SP at Inner Jobber posted a by-the-numbers “how to be a fantasy wrestling jobber (like Curtis Thompson)” post, and Joe at Ringside at Skull Island posted a “you might be a heel if…” list of distinguishing characteristics of the heel set, andI briefly mentioned my guilty pleasure of watching a babyface hero defeat an evil doer in the ring. I think there’s less said than should be about professional wrestlers who fall neither into the doomed to be exploited category or the devious exploiters category. Since SP and Joe did such thoughtful treatments of jobbers and heels, I decided to try to do a little more justice on behalf of that oft-maligned class of homoerotic wrestlers: the face.
I’ve got a longstanding crush on handsome hero Mitch Colby.
I say oft-maligned because I think to be compelled to pull for the handsome hero is frequently portrayed as gullible. To boost for the “good guy,” the hard worker, the play-by-the rules, sincere competitor is frequently equated with naiveté. Guys into the conquering and suffering of a pretty boy may ache for their jobbers, and guys into domination and humiliation dished out by a villain will pull for their heels. I have a long, long record of working up a head of steam for plenty of jobbers and plenty of heels. But call me gullible and naive, because (not always, but definitely sometimes) nothing will crank on my chain as convincingly as an all-in babyface (or just “face”) beauty using brains and brawn to overcome treachery and deceit.
Gorgeous face Denny Cartier is all skill, stamina, and strength on the mat.
I venture into this territory with eyes open. I’ve seen the equivalent of doctoral dissertations written on parsing out opinions about what and who qualifies to be classified as a babyface wrestler. I’d bet money someone will let me know where I got it wrong by the time I finish this post. And I love that about us. We’re the aroused, gorgeous gay nerds of professional wrestling. We care way too much, leading us to quibble and at times even squabble about what is, let’s face it, minutiae and trivia. We openly defy orthodoxies on one hand (e.g., celebrating the fierce, butch, dangerously strong and masculine gay man), while on the other hand bitterly defend other orthodoxies (e.g., heaping contempt on the commenter who describes your favorite jobber as a face, or vice versa). Despite the apparent perception of others that I consider myself an expert, I offer this as nothing more than my personal system for classifying that distinctive breed of wrestler-for-pay who is not the villain, and he’s not the wrestler who seems eternally destined to lose beautifully. But rather, he’s the heroic athlete determined to defeat his opponents with skill, stamina, and strength, and sometimes, he even succeeds.
Like babies themselves, I can’t think of anyone ugly who I’d classify as a babyface wrestler. Granted, “ugly” is entirely subjective, but inclusion criteria for babyface wrestlers (as far as I’m concerned), include a strong, chiseled chin, gorgeous, piercing (often blue) eyes, and a gym-toned body with beautiful skin. The parameters are flexible to accommodate an assortment of tastes (eye of the beholder and all), but something obviously beautiful seems a prerequisite. A babyface seems to, by definition, be attractive in a conventional sense. It’s not like particularly homoerotic wrestling is well-populated with men who fail to meet basic standards of physical attractiveness, but those especially handsome Clark Kent-esque boys tend to get checks in my personal tally of elements that add up to the essential ingredients of a compelling face. Necessary but not sufficient criteria to be a babyface, it seems to me, is eye-catching beauty.
Further inclusion criteria for me include that babyface wrestlers tend to stick to the straight and narrow when faced with (as they frequently are) an underhanded, dirty, no-good heel. Here’s where it comes in handy to have powerful muscles and innate athleticism (again, necessary but not sufficient characteristics of faces – plenty of heels and jobbers have beautiful muscles and obvious athleticism). When faced with cheating and trickery, the Pearl Harbor before the bell rings, the hair pull, the crotch blow, the foreign object, the refusal to break a hold when the action hits the ropes, the babyface hero grimaces, shakes his head (“kids these days”) and reinvests his faith in his thousands of hours of gym time and, hopefully, substantive experience and wrestling skills. An occasional venture into a retributive low blow not-withstanding (particularly in homoerotic wrestling), the face places his confidence in the superiority of his physique, his mental preparation, his wrestling prowess, and the sincerity of his heart. In a post-modern world, faces can get away with a lot more rule bending and still be objects of heroic adoration, of course. They can most definitely lose their temper, open a can of unnecessarily rough whoop-ass, ravage an opponent momentarily in a rage. But in the morality tales of homoerotic wrestling, if I see a handsome stud tend toward the exercise of self-restraint and appear to intentionally decline to take shortcuts, I check off another box in the face checklist.
That’s not to say a babyface can only be seen in matches against heels, of course. He can most definitely wrestle another babyface or a jobber, by all means. Sometimes, he may be less easily identified in those settings, but nevertheless he perseveres in the certainty that he is the “better man” which will lead to his victory (as opposed to the heel who sees his victory, by whatever means, as the evidence that he’s the better man). A babyface v babyface battle can be a particularly compelling thing of beauty. Two hard, hardworking studs who’ve been convinced by accolades and past victories that they are destined to succeed can generate intensely satisfying and homoerotically charged wrestling entertainment. The allure of the thrill of competition (which I argue is an essential element of what turns me on about the drama of homoerotic wrestling) can be most poignant and compelling for me when it’s face v face, beauty v beauty, power v power. These are matches in which tit-for-tat wrestling often makes me smile, as athletes play a game of HORSE, showing off their skills and strength in a one-upsmanship format. Like knights in armor of old, they charge upright into one another with a typically unspoken assumption that purity of heart will add weight to the scales of justice, and the outcome is less about the delectable doings inside the ropes as it is about who wanted it more as demonstrated by preparation, training, and hard work before they entered the ring.
I also like the drama of a babyface v jobber match, though again, I think this can confuse folks who equate a serious mauling as the exclusive domain of a heel. By my way of thinking, a babyface is generally convinced in the superiority of his training, conditioning, and strength, so there’s most definitely still a story to tell when he encounters a pretty slice of heaven with a track record for getting crushed and humiliated. He wrestles because he has faith in the premise that if he is the better man, he will win. Dangling a jobber in front of his face, particularly a tasty, pretty, unknowingly vulnerable jobber, merely offers him the opportunity to collect evidence to confirm what he already knew: all of his hard work destines him to conquer an unworthy opponent. A jobber’s job is that much more crucial in a babyface v jobber match, because his suffering must rise from being outmatched and outwitted above board. There’s not likely a low blow or a nipple-twist to explain what threw the jobber off his game, so the two must dance the intricate dance of decisive, convincing combat. A jobber must beat like a wave upon the sand against the superior strength of body and spirit, only slowly to ebb in will and perseverance in the face of the innate dominance of the finely tuned babyface offense. Not an ounce less agony, not a smidge less suffering is required than if the jobber took a fist to the scrotum and had his face forced into a heel’s swelling crotch. This tale is just a tad more subtle but no less tantalizing and tempting for my tastes, for the drama of a jobber slowly crumbling beneath a face.
Finally, I’d like to make a case for holding these archetypes in pro wrestling lightly when it comes to homoerotic fare. While I’m sure I’ll get crap for getting it wrong (won’t be the first time… to get crap or to get it wrong), I’ll also suggest that so far, there isn’t a homoerotic wrestling company producing a through-story with quite the consistency of a weekly mainstream pro wrestling serial in which these archetypes were birthed in live wrestling and televised wrestling entertainment decades ago (probably centuries, really). Character development takes time and consistency that I think is particularly challenging in the catch-as-catch-can world of the homoerotic wrestling industry. While there are notable exceptions, such as the highly entertaining through-story that Alex recently posted about regarding the crushing humiliation of fan-favorite face Brad Rochelle until Brad pulled off a sweetly satisfying heel turn in the middle of the Contract series, a chaptered story building motivation and a story arc is a rare element in homoerotic wrestling. And therefore a face, jobber, or heel may be built or broken within the confines of a given match. I find this type of story telling more intense, though inherently more difficult to latch onto favorite characters over time (because characters may play multiple roles in seemingly out-of-order sequences). In other words, my favorite industry highlights that a face (or a jobber or a heel) is not who a wrestler is, but what a wrestler does. The sum total of a storied career in pro wrestling for gay eyes likely demonstrates that “one man in his time plays many parts.”
In his last post, Alex proposed a new Contract (or Contract-like-series) to chart another rare chaptered story of homoerotic wrestling drama. I love that idea. I’d also add my dream of an honest-to-god serial homoerotic pro wrestling story, released as a “season,” witnessing the rise and fall of wrestling hopefuls, the tensions and betrayals, the shocking humiliations and victories-against-the-well-established-odds… alliances made, loyalties tested, egos crushed, losers showing up again owned and operated by the man who bested them… roaring testimonials, sweat-soaked post-match interviews, an explicitly named grudge, a quest for vengeance. There are some nice tropes and devices of classic mainstream pro wrestling that I think have yet to be fully translated into an explicitly homoerotic context. I’m sure it would require an entirely different production, likely including prohibitive amounts of scheduling, investment, and choreography. But seriously, I’d pay a premium for that, particularly with an explicitly homoerotic angle. Some more suspense, a story arc, a chance to tune in repeatedly to be compelled by a favorite face, heel or jobber… surely there’s a significant market for that.
So I started by making a case for a face, which I still stand by enthusiastically. Heroes battling for good, winning valiantly, losing in soul-crushing, despair-inducing humiliation… fuck, I love that guy. But I’d love him even more in a context in which I could watch his character grow and change, in which his motivation is more explicit, contrasts drawn more starkly, perhaps his heel turn that much more shocking because he’d convinced me of his utter trust that right will ultimately overcome might. I’m sure it’s a pipe dream, but it’s still a dream that makes my blood pulse harder.
Like most people, I hate signing contracts. Whether it’s for cell phones, cable or the gym, companies love to lock us in then treat us like crap. BGEast is the exception, of course. They have a contract I was happy to sign. Not just once, but a whopping nine times.
For those that don’t know, The Contract is a fantastic series that stars Brad Rochelle, a true superstar. If there were a Hall of Fame for BGEast icons, he’d get in on the first ballot for sure. This is Brad at his best – believable as face and heel, victim and victor, dominator and jobber.
I love Brad’s nearly unmatched range in skill, attitude, flexibility and personality. He’s at his bendy best throughout. The beatdown from the Enforcer stands out for me, as does Brad’s initiations of studs like Alexi and Braden.
I love the long form storytelling aspect, which is so unique. Rock Hard Wrestling and Thunder’s Arena do have wrestlers reference past encounters, but it’s not quite the same feel.
I love the evolution of Brad’s character during the series from hapless victim to malevolent mastermind.
And I love Brad’s opponents. They include a who’s who of BGEast talent, from established stars to emerging talent to debuts by future favorites:
Unless I missed one, the ending for The Contract is left to the viewer to imagine. Brad gets ratted out, as KL is told what’s going on, but his wrath is never seen.
I’d love to see more series like this. Given the way these things work, what any company should do is either complete the entire series in one filming or at least film a concluding chapter in case the rest never gets filmed. I think people would be forgiving of changing bodies and hair styles to get closure. We’re used to it.
What are your thoughts? Love or hate The Contract? Would you like to see more series? Weigh in through the comments! ~Alex
Sidelineland 