Jonny Firestorm – Page 7

Best of 2013

January 20, 2014 wrestlebard3 Comments

While I ran with the herd for many of BG East’s 2013 Best ofs, I was on my own for most of the categories. That works for me. I’m on the record many times over celebrating diverse tastes among homoerotic wrestling fans. If we were all getting our cranks turned by the exact same products, what a narrower and less vibrant scene this would be! That said, I want to tip my hat to the winners as well as make my final case for my picks that didn’t materialize. Here are a few…

It was Jake Jenkins who, for the second year running, owned Babyface of the Year for 2013. Jake is one of the most earnest, hottest, hardest hunks in the business, so it’s no wonder at all he gets this award another go round. I, however, had to reluctantly turn my back on Jake when I cast my ballot for…

brad

… the paradigmatic babyface, Brad Rochelle. I tell you, the earth fucking shook when Brad stormed back into the ring in catalog 100! He’s not as fresh or young as Jake, but I’ll be damned if watching Brad work his magic in three separate matches (that’s 4 opponents… 5 if you count some sucker punches by Jonny!) reminded me hard why he is THE star of so many of my fondest homoerotic wrestling fantasies. Sure, I’ll give you, there may have been a smidge of nostalgia in my vote, but when I look back on the babyface that will define 2013 for me, it’s got to be Brad.

You, the majority, selected Jonny Firestorm as Heel of the Year 2nd year in a row. I do not quibble about this in the least. Jonny is, day in and day out, catalog after catalog, the most dominant presence of punishment at BG East. Incredibly sexy and dangerous, he’s an ideal top heel. I totally agree, except…

vicious

… when it comes to the perfect combination of bone chilling terrifying and blood pumping supercharged erotic, I’ll always break toward the one who is so vicious it’s in his name. Kid Vicious is always at the top of my list when it comes to brutality and pitch-perfect erotic domination.

The majority broke for Rio Garza as Jobber of the Year for the second year running. Again, I do not quibble with Rio’s supreme beauty, nor his epic qualifications for this title. When it comes to sheer beauty amplified by being crushed, there’s no one more beautiful or crushable. However…

z-man

… looking only at their 2013 releases, I have to say, Z-Man crushed it when it came to getting crushed, at least for me. He’s come such a long way, and honestly, the mystique of “maybe this time” sticks to him like rubber cement, making me tune in over and over to see if he sells suffering on that steadily rising learning curve he’s been on once again. No disrespect to Rio at all, but I’m totally convinced that Z-Man was top jobber this year.

I freely admit that I shocked myself by NOT voting for the eventual winner (2nd year in a row) for Best Bulge, Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!). Mr. Joshua’s mammoth package is hard to argue with, though I wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to give it a severe tongue lashing. It’s like a third wrestler in the ring, anytime he shows up for work. I’ve been going on and on about Mr. Joshua’s oversized baggage for years, but…

sharp

… I was absolutely hypnotized by the humungous produce stuffed down Pretty Pete Sharp’s trunks in his gazebo bout with Kid Karisma. I won’t be satisfied until I see these boys side by side, cock by cock, balls by balls, with a measuring stick in my hand and their trunks at their ankles, of course. But talk about presence! Kid K was literally having to wrestle around that gargantuan bulge (because clearly Pretty Pete has a contract rider that requires the boys to keep their hands off… for now…). There are no trunks built that can entirely cover Pretty Pete’s bulge entirely, not when the action gets nice and intense. I say it again, I’m shocked to say I didn’t vote for Mr. Joshua, but I stand by my opinion that Pretty Pete’s bulge was most impressive in 2013.

Best Body is, I think, the second toughest call to make in this poll. And I don’t begrudge Z-Man one bit for winning, particularly since he didn’t get Jobber of the Year. It’s been said by better men than me that Z-Man’s consistent, phenomenal conditioning is superhuman. Day after day, this stunning stud shows up ripped and gorgeous. He unseated last year’s winner Rio Garza, and I wouldn’t criticize the taste of anyone who thought he was top bod in 2013. But for me…

karisma

… Kid Karisma was from front to back, top to bottom, the hottest body competing in 2013. Kid K’s thighs absolutely dwarf Z-Man’s, and although Z-Man’s bod is stunningly gorgeous, I have to say Kid K’s conditioning in 2013 was un-fucking-believable. There’s not an ounce of anything other than mouthwatering beautiful, rock hard muscles on this man. Of course he has the Best Butt. But body part by body part and in sum total, I was most moved by Kid Karisma as Best Body last year.

I’ll save the rest of my lone wolf picks, but for now, let me just say again how much I respect all the winners and runners- up. And let me remind you again that you have until the end of the month to get the winning matches at a 25% discount!

Best of 2013

January 18, 2014 wrestlebard1 Comment

I’m a bad gay, I realize, but I hate awards shows. I like seeing who won awards the next day, mind you, but I have no patience for the pretensions of red carpets and tearful speeches and what passes for entertaining song and dance numbers. That said, I’d be glued to my television if BG East ever decided to produce an awards show to unveil their year-end viewer’s choice poll winners… particularly if the song and dance numbers were an occasional tuxedo rip ‘n’ strip match center stage. Short of that, I am enjoying pouring over the just announced winners of the BG East Best Of 2013s, comparing where I run with the pack and where I’m clearly a lone wolf.

kip — Scorching hot Kip Sorell knows how to make an entrance as 2013’s Debut of the Year.

Running with the pack, I voted with the majority in selecting Kip Sorell as debut of the year. That said, I would like to think that Lane Hartley might be severely pissed to be passed over, requiring a severe and brutal beating of epically pretty Kip. Fingers crossed…

eli — Eli Black’s abs are outstanding, earning him most votes for Best Abs of 2013.

Best abs to Eli Black for me and you for the second year in a row. Eli is an anatomy chart, so it’s hard not to see what we’re all looking at. That said, I think this category is one of the most competitive, and Eli’s abs surely have earned a big, bright target painted on them by the many worthy also-rans.

Here’s KL awarding the 2012 prize to KK’s ass. Now 2 years running, Kid Karisma’s epic ass takes top prize in 2013.

Two years running, I and the majority have inescapably concluded that Kid Karisma’s ass is simply the best in the business. That world class ass is just one of the top reasons that Kid K wrestled the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler away from Lon Dumont late in 2013. Last year, runner-up Cameron Matthews complained bitterly about being passed over for this one. In that proposed awards show in the future, I believe it would be only fair to see all of the finalists asses displayed, immediately prior to the winner’s announcement, followed closely by a bareassed beatdown in a pit of oil.

eli2 — Eli and Cameron’s Mat Hunks 9 match was outstanding!

I and the majority agreed that the best mat battle (by far, in my estimation) was Cameron’s incredibly sexy and intense tussle with Eli in Mat Hunks 9. Wowza! The chemistry between these two totally took me by surprise, and I believe both of these amazing studs brought out the very best in one another. Simply incredible match!

jonny — Jonny Firestorm and Drake Marcos obliterated the competition for Best Squash as Jonny obliterated Drake in Custom Combat.

I personally felt that there was no real competition for Best Squash. Whether the voting was as much a squash as Custom Combat, I don’t know, but one way or another, the majority of voters agreed with me in picking Jonny’s infinite variations on a squashing theme all over sweetly suffering Drake Marcos.

Miss any of these? Shame on you. Now is your chance to redeem yourself, though, because BG East is offering the products of all of the winning matches at a 25% discount for the remainder of this month. I’ll comment later on where my tastes diverged with the herd, but my ballot ran about 33% with winners in this year’s polling. All these hunks are over the top winners in my book, and I hope that accolades and praise go straight to their heads, requiring extensive drama and punishment to knock them back down to size.

Trunk Pull Tuesday

January 14, 2014 wrestlebardLeave a comment

It never hurts to have a little extra leverage to get the job done. Well, it doesn’t hurt unless you’re the job getting done…

trunkpullkl — A classic image of the master at work: **Kid Leopard** grabs hold of anything he wants on Sailor Rob.

jonnytrunkpull — Jonny Firestorm doesn’t need the extra leverage, but he just enjoys adding that much more humiliation and brutality as he pounds gorgeous Z-man into jelly in **Hunkbash 14**.

trunkpullaryx — I’ve been longing to see what’s under Muscle Mask’s trunks for years. Leave it to Aryx Quinn to give us a sneak peak in **Masked Mayhem 11**.

trunkpulljose — Because a 2-on-1 mugging isn’t advantage enough, Jose also nearly rips Patrick Donovan’s trunks off as he winds up for another crushing blow in **Tag Team Torture 1**.

Tenth Day of Christmas

January 3, 2014 wrestlebardLeave a comment

The Boss at BG East has been a generous and kind friend of neverland since its inception, which is a little ironic, considering his severe brutality and lack of compassion to every wrestling opponent he’s ever laid eyes on. He has gently, but firmly, helped me with course corrections here and there, and when the mood strikes him, he’s an outstanding volunteer copy editor. So I was not exactly surprised when Kid Leopard dropped off a year-end batch of behind-the-scenes photos, because he knows full well my intense infatuation with seeing what the BG East boys look like when the video cameras are on pause. KL is nothing if not an enigmatic figure, however, as demonstrated by the absence of a message to go with the presents he delivered. The only words on the subject of the holidays that I’ve heard from him this season have been an unequivocal (and I’m quoting), “Bah! Humbug!” Now that sounds like The Boss to me! In any case, here are some year-end treats especially for me, but I’ll let you enjoy them as well…

Without more context, I’m guessing that this is KL and Jonny Firestorm watching the hairy-chested shirtless scenes in 3D of Henry Cavill as the 2013 Man of Steel.

Again, I’m going out on a limb because of the absence of backstory, but I’m going to say this is a couple of Kids (Kid Leopard and Kid Jean-Luc Picard) in costume to terrorize small children and steal their candy at Halloween. Regardless, I guarantee you that I’m having Star Trek homoerotic wrestling dreams tonight!

And this mysterious photo is clearly of yet-to-be released BG East newbie, Ty, getting some humiliating discipline at the wrong end of someone’s boot and camera. I don’t know if this is the Boss’ response to me taking an immediate shine to melt-in-your-mouth Ty, or whether this is what happened to the babyface as a result of Ty sending me a holiday greeting card without the Boss’ permission. Either way, I say hell, yeah!

With Kid Leopard at the helm, BG East has been fueling my erotic fantasies for most of my adult life, and there are just no words of gratitude sufficient to thank him for his artistry, imagination, and wrestling genius. I’d offer him best wishes for the coming year, but having seen a sneak preview of what he’s been cooking up at recent tapings, what’s the point? He’s going to take 2014 and wring every ounce of blood, sweat and cum out of it, and serve it up to you and me like only he can. “Thanks,” just doesn’t cover it, Kid Leopard!

Eighth Day of Christmas

January 1, 2014 wrestlebard1 Comment

Jonny Firestorm is coming on way, way strong as 2013 comes to a close and 2014 begins. For one thing, the notorious heel unveiled a newly minted physique a few months ago, and its chiseled out of marble by the loving hand of a homoerotic master sculptor. Jonny also launched his own website in 2013, and I know for a fact that he’s pleasing customers left and right for those looking for a full service Jonny fix. Jonny has some of the most fanatical followers I’ve ever met, for whom no matter how dastardly and vicious, no matter how brutal and bullying, no matter how cruelly and underhandedly he punishes an opponent (hell, BECAUSE of all of those things), Jonny Firestorm can do no wrong. Personally, I think 2014 should be the year that Jonny gets passionately muscle worshipped by one crushed and awed opponent after another. From Jonny’s year-end greeting card he sent neverland, it looks like he’s planning on there being a long, long line of crushed, awed, and fully owned wrestlers kneeling in subjugation at his feet.

Just flash that devastatingly handsome smile and flex those insanely roped arms, and I have no doubt you’ll have plenty loyal subjects on their knees, Jonny! For that matter, if the king needs a personal valet to groom, dress, and primp that royal bod, consider me first in line for the job! And it’s so nice to see neverland up on your computer there, over your shoulder! It’s an honor, and just a little intimidating, to know the king is watching.

For Your Consideration

December 25, 2013 wrestlebard1 Comment

I’ve promised myself not to lobby too hard for any of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers up for end-of-the-year best of BG East “BGs” awards, but I will tell you that you need to vote. I will not attempt to sway public opinion. I will not attempt to sway public opinion. I will not attempt….

kipdebut

pete

kkbutt

cam

cam2

drake

brad

Our Man Inside

December 24, 2013 wrestlebard1 Comment

Our mystery man inside at a recent taping for BG East smuggled me more photos of hot young hunks before, during, and after some rowdy wrestling action in the Florida sunshine.

Jonny Firestorm was in the pool, looking happy to keep his Custom Combat demolition of Drake Marcos rolling with a wet ‘n’ wild rack. You’d think after the terror he subjected Drake to in Custom Combat (over and over and in infinite variations), young Drake would steer clear of Jonny. Then again, I sort of get the impression the Cheshire Cat of homoerotic wrestling may get off on soaking up punishment about as much as Jonny does dishing it out.

Is it my imagination, or is Jonny looking sexier than EVER!? There’s a look of trust as he hams it up for the camera. Clearly Jonny knows who’s taking is picture, but we don’t. Hmmmmm….

Our man inside, risking life and limb, also included some provocative pics of fresh young sprouts who haven’t even seen the light of day in a BG East release yet! I love a preview bleacher report! I asked for a lot of details, but all I got back regarding my questions about these two sexy young things is that the bearded beauty goes by “Wolf,” and the seductive, tanned babyface here goes by “Ty.”

The camera captured the beautiful newbies exchanging rear bearhugs. Whereas Ty’s bearhug looks playful, Wolf looks like he’s intent on seriously controlling his competition. They both look hungry to me, and I’m instantly feeling impatient to see these two adorable rooks debut.

It looks like Drake got his hands on the fresh meat as well. It seems like just yesterday I was popping my cork in excitement over smuggled photos of Drake, before we’d ever seen the stud’s BG East debut. Now he’s the relatively seasoned upperclassmen putting newbies like Ty through the ringer. Then again, it looks to me like Ty may be right about to peel Drake’s trunks off, making me think this rook very well could be a big crowd pleaser!

Since the Boss left a comment on my last post, and since that comment was not the promise of heads rolling, I’ll take it that he’s not too upset with the contraband that our mystery man smuggled out. But then again, I do have one more batch of photos still to share….

Catalog of Wishes

November 24, 2013 wrestlebard3 Comments

The Sears Christmas catalog would arrive, and I’d spend countless hours combing through the pages of the toys (and underwear) advertisements, my imagination filled with anticipated delights. I’d make a list for Santa, then comb over the pages again and revise my priorities, guess at the optimal constellation of gifts to produce the maximum pleasure. There was something intoxicating about coveting toys and then coveting the underwear models, back and forth.

That’s the next closest thing to a new BG East catalog. Like Friday’s release of 101. Every page makes my blood pump harder, so much anticipated pleasure. Just the anticipation, the tease of a handful of words and accompanying provocative photos, is such a delight! After the mouthwatering taste, but before the full on consummation, there’s such a sweet spot right here, right now. I cannot wait to consume the promises, but then again, the wait is so, so sweet!

aryx — Hunky Muscle Mask gets the Aryx treatment in **Masked Mayhem 11**.

lon — My reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, Lon Dumont, catches my (and Donnie Drake’s) eye in **Last Man Standing**.

demian — Lorenzo “Jake” Lowe obediently worships the ripped body of Damien Rush in **Backyard Brawls 8**.

drake — My mind is blown, and I suspect my crotch is not far behind, by Jonny’s customizable demolition of Drake Marcos in **Custom Combat: Drake’s Drubbing**.

karisma — So many world class bulges between Kid Karisma and Pretty Pete Sharp in **Kid Karisma’s Wrestler Spotlight**.

lane — Lane Hartley makes me gasp just seeing his stills as he picks apart body beautiful Z-Man in **Pros in Private 10**.

kip — KIp Sorell and Jake Jenkins. That’s pretty much all that needed to be said to make me dizzy, much less just a glimpse of the preview pics from **Backyard Brawls 8.**

Wednesday’s Woes

October 30, 2013 wrestlebardLeave a comment

I keep thinking that I’ve run out of sexy Trees of Woe to feature for my alliterative Wednesday post, but alas and again, another assortment to amuse the aficionado of the application of this hot hold.

woekendecker — Kid Leopard demonstrates woe from multiple angles on hunky, hung, hung-out-to-dry Ken Decker in BG East’s Demolition 4.

woecutler — Dick the Prick has muscle hunk Casey Cutler right where I want him as he grinds waves of woe in BG East’s **Ring Wars 3**.

woebbw — The source of endless woe, Brooklyn Bodywrecker digs his elbow deep into trapped Mark Nelson in BG East’s **Demolition 3.**

woezach — Jonny Firestorm first holds Zach Zilver suspended by his hair in a ToW, then let’s go, pounding the twink’s head into the mat in BG East’s **Demolition 10**.

woebrad — Who here wouldn’t trade places with young Patrick Donovan, trussed up so sweetly in a ToW and then finding hot young hunk Brad Rochelle’s muscled ass resting on your face?! It’s in BG East’s **Wrestlefest 2**!

Tuesday Trunk Pulls

October 29, 2013 wrestlebard2 Comments

Am I the only one around here whose blood pumps a little faster when a wrestler yanks on his opponent’s trunks? No, of course I’m not. I bet I’m not even the only one who’s poured over stills of trunk pulling to catch a glimpse of what’s hidden on some of the demure hunks of homoerotic wrestling who otherwise have not (yet) put their junk on display in the ring. So here are some Tuesday Trunk Pulls to give you a little leverage on your work week.