Goofy = Sexy

Ben Monaco (l) demonstrates how a weekend at BGE can turn sexy-silly!

Kid Karisma’s behind-the-scenes photos of  last weekend’s BG East wrestlefest have garnered a lot of attention, including attention from a few of the other hot hunks on hand.  For example, Ben Monaco contacted me a couple of days ago to clarify that he’s not the only sexy battleboy to get a little silly (as was documented by Kid K’s pic of Ben with Gabriel and the karismatic one).

Nothing could make Kid Karisma look anything but sexy as hell!

Turns out Ben has some photographic evidence to illustrate his point. For example, while Kid K seems to almost always be flashing his Blue Steel in his photos, Ben captured my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler hamming it up.  Not his most flattering photo, and yet still somehow the karismatic one remains sexy as hell!

“Jonny, say ‘CHEEEESE!'”
Skip and his “Boston Boyfriend Jonny Firestorm look a little surprised to be captured in Ben’s lens.  Jonny’s awkward “say cheese” smile in particular looks goofy.  However 
Work it!  Work it!
Skip manages the unlikely feat of looking Bieberesque while flashing his Blue Steel!  Now that’s a talented professional!
DUDE! lrenzo lowe sittin nxt 2 me NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!!! 
Lorenzo Lowe makes goofy look so, so sexy! This boy seriously needs to show up in the ring wearing those eyeglasses!  It could totally be his thing… mild-mannered nerdilicious boy with a bubble butt turns into smoldering hot, dangerous homoerotic warrior the moment he whips off the spectacles.  Sort of a Clark Kent turns raging homoerotic wrestler angle.  It’s golden, I tell you!  And who’s the newbie sitting next to him, almost certainly texting his friends back home: DUDES! Lrenzo Lowe sittin nxt 2 me NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!!!?  I have it on good authority that this, my friends, is the already famous rookie (in my mind, at least) of the notoriously magical nipples!  Not a lot to go on in this shot, but I’m ready to say he looks cute as a button, and if those nips are half as hot as I’ve heard, I can’t wait to see that babyface screwed up in agony in a relentless two-handed nip twister!
Holy shit, some muscle hunk is wearing Gabriel Ross’ face!
Someone else will have to tell me if Gabriel Ross is making a funny face in this shot, because I’ve been staring at this pic for hours without finding the will power to tear my eyes away from his stunningly beefy bod!  Holy shit, I thought his pecs were incredible in Kid K’s snap. Get a load of that ASS and those gorgeously muscled legs!!! I have no idea who got the honors for taking on this readers’ choice sexiest Brit, but what an assignment!  Gabriel was already a master at putting the “erotic” in homoerotic wrestling.  Now that babyboy is all grown up and packing serious beef, my head is going to explode waiting to see all that muscle put to good use (well, something’s definitely about to explode!).
Damien Rush taunts the 99%
Ben’s final photo evidence that sexy and goofy go hand in hand is this knee-buckling shot of daddy’s little trust fund baby, Damien Rush, with his tongue hanging out.  Damn damn damn damn damn!  His private sessions with some trainer-to-the-rich-and-famous have been PAYING OFF!  The boy has grown wings, and I’m taking that pose as his personal challenge to me to feel what those arms can do wrapped around me in a bear hug.  I’ve been trying to land an interview with Mr. Rush’s sexy boy for months now, but “his people” haven’t made it happen yet.  The outline of that sweet meat hanging between his legs is doing nothing be renewing my determination to get this diamond stud on the record.  I swear, Damien, I won’t even ask for your tax returns!
Ben works all the right angles!
So Ben Monaco is the rookie stud of the hour for feeling the need to share a few more moments from a weekend of homoerotic wrestling with the hunks of BG East.  Ben also clarified that in addition to the hot rookie with the magical nipples, there was yet another jaw-dropping, tattooed muscle hunk rookie on hand that had many of the boys feeling faint.  That I need to see!  If ANY of the other boys present should feel like they need to defend their dignity by sharing their thoughts or pics from Pembroke, you know where to find me!

Red Baron: Come Sit Next to Me!

Kid Karisma is back at it, passing along more dirt on his blog about last weekend gathered from another wrestler there, his friend Alan, aka Red Baron.  In our interview last winter, Kid K explained that it was Alan who first set him up to wrestle for BG East.  For that reason alone, I consider Alan a patron saint in neverland.  But apparently Alan is also carrying around potentially incriminating photographic evidence of just how far Kid K will go for a good time.  The karismatic one and his “Daddy Alan” clearly enjoy talking shit, and I for one enjoy listening to it!  Here and now let me just make myself crystal clear: neverland readers are absolutely aching to see some candid shots of Kid K compromised by too much partying!  Alan, if you’re listening, let’s talk!!!

Kid Karisma, Blaine Janus, Lorenzo Lowe and Skip Vance

It also appears that Alan also took some shots over the weekend at BG East, and Kid K has been kind enough to post them.  As is my way, I’m instantly obsessing over every detail.  For example Lorenzo with a mouth full of watermelon… damn this boy is looking sexier to me by the minute!

Skip Vance and his “Boston boyfriend,” Jonny Firestorm

I’m also noticing that Skip and his Boston boyfriend both shop at Hollister.  Unless they’re sharing clothes.  Which is just fucking adorable.

Blaine and Alan look ready to double-team a handsome new face!

Perhaps most intriguing is this shot of Blaine Janus and Alan aka Red Baron sandwiching an extremely handsome young man who I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure to meet yet.  In this shot he bears a strong resemblance to John Fugelsang, who is blisteringly hot in my book.  I’m guessing this is one of the newbies Kid Leopard mentioned as part of the cast of characters in Pembroke last weekend.  I have no independent verification as to whether this could be the hot hunk with the jaw-dropping nipples I’ve heard about.  He looks fit, but there’s really no telling from this shot what sort of physique he’s smuggling under those baggy clothes (Skip, drag this boy to Hollisters!!!).  I hope Kid K gave this handsome hottie the warm welcome a beautiful rookie face deserves (i.e., Kid Karisma’s premiere muscle ass sitting on his face!).

Red Baron pumps up to prepare for his next cub hunt.

Kid K also posted a shot of Alan pumping his guns, which illustrates why Kid K and his buddies refer to him as “Daddy” Alan.  Good thing Karisma and Alan are buddies, because shit talking with a big bear daddy like this seems dangerous if you’re a lean, 5’8″ slice of beef with baby blue eyes like Kid K.  Then again, in the words of the karismatic one…

“I don’t give a fuck!”

Keep dishing up the dirt, Kid Karisma!  Your grip on the title of my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler is fucking TIGHT with all this extra-curricular, behind the scenes insight into a hot and heavy weekend of wrestling at BG East!

Red and White and Hot All Over

How did I not know that Kid Karisma has a blog?  Sure, he doesn’t post often, but come on!  He’s been sitting so, so pretty atop my overall favorite homoerotic wrestling rankings for months and months.  I’ve nominated his ass (specifically) for its own Wrestler Spotlight release.  How did I not know that the karismatic one has his own blog?  Thank the gods above and below that I found out, because That Ginger Guy has just today posted a cruelly teasing recap of what he may, or may not have been up to in Boston last weekend!

View across the lake from BG East headquarters

Let me just assure you I’ve done my best to coax more details out of my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler.  Flattery.  Pleading.  Monetary reward.  More flattery.  I’ve been working my ass off with Kid K to squeeze out even a little more about what went down in Boston beyond his provocative overview. I have very little to show for it, other than permission to repost these pics.

BG East is a shrine to all things wrestling!

There were three car loads of homoerotic wrestlers caravanning to Paradise for after-hour fun and games.  Jonny bought the first round.  My life is the lesser for not being able to be present when 3 car loads of BG East battle boys came through the doors of Paradise and started downing shots.

Kid K is impressively tight-lipped about any specifics of what went on at BG East headquarters, other than the pics he posted and the fantasies that they instantly inspire.  First let’s just get the most obvious revelation out of the way: Gabriel Ross’ fucking HUGE pecs!!!!

Ben Monaco, Gabriel Ross, and Kid Karisma

Holy-fuck-on-a-cracker, what have they been feeding this angelic little devil!?  The face is still the same hint o’ jailbait innocence, but this reader’s choice favorite BGE britboy grew some humungous pecs!  I’m a little dizzy anticipating what the rest of him looks like now.  I have no trouble at all understanding why Ben Monaco appears crazed with his tongue stretching out of his mouth as if of a mind of its own toward Gabe’s right nip.  I offered Kid K my firstborn, but no more pics of Gabriel were forthcoming.

Bard absolutely makes passes at boys who wear glasses!

My second a-ha moment from Kid K’s photo album from last weekend is his cozy shot with bespectacled Lorenzo Lowe.  While I seriously enjoyed his debut against Eli Black last month, I have to say that the furor that seemed to erupt around his appearance on the scene left me a little lost.  He’s adorable as hell with a mouthwatering ass, and I swear to God he looks like my first boyfriend, but the level of adoration I’m seeing from others had me scratching my head.  But the glasses, the five-o-clock shadow, and that gorgeous smile on his face in Kid K’s behind-the-scenes pic are making me reconsider my first assessment of Lorenzo. The boy’s fucking hot.  Kid K’s naked torso leaning against Lorenzo’s shoulder doesn’t exactly hurt the sexiness factor, either.

1. Where exactly is Blaine’s left hand? 2. Is there room for me?

And I’ll say to you what I said to Kid Karisma.  Blaine Janus and he primping in the bathroom for what I’m guessing are preparations for their “trip to Paradise,” looks to me like a perfectly matched set of blond-n-ginger bookends.  With that image in mind, never in my life have I wanted so much to be a book.  Kid K politely laughed at my joke.  But seriously, make me the egg salad in a Blaine and Kid Karisma sandwich and I die a happy, happy man. I’ve got plenty more mixed metaphors that I could use to describe what those two are doing to me, but I’ll spare you.

And finally, let me just spread a little gossip that I can tell you I’ve heard from no fewer than 3 eye witnesses (well, partners in crime) on hand in Pembroke last weekend.  There’s some newbie who showed up who absolutely knocked the socks off of EVERYONE.  Kid K confirmed it, and in addition to his very general description, I’ve heard from others that the new kid had a body that the boys simply couldn’t take their eyes off of.  Intriguingly, one source referenced this guy’s nipples as “jaw dropping.”  I’m on record as totally able to drop jaw for hot nips, so I definitely get the concept.  Of course, now we’ve got to wait for this rookie phenom who set hearts a pattering and crotches adjusting.

Fuck, I hate waiting.

Thanks for the exquisite torture, Kid Karisma!

Help Needed (desperately)

I’m officially obsessed.  I began writing a homoerotic wrestling fiction story several months back.  I shelved it for a while, but I was recently drawn back to the story.  It’s one of those projects that’s consumed me a bit lately.  It’s a story I’m aching to get down on paper.  It’s haunting me a little between writing sessions.  All that’s good stuff… great, really.  I love that sort of project where it grabs me and drives me hard.  But here’s the bad news.  I’ve embedded some photos of a fitness model who I’m using to illustrate the main protagonist.  But I’ve lost all track of who this hunk is.

Now, I could just move on in any number of directions.  I could be happy with the three anonymous photos I’ve gathered (included in this post) and use them without knowing more about this beefy beauty, and not needing to look up any more provocative shots of him.  Or I could identify a new model to stand in his place and embody the protagonist I’m writing.  But at this point, this story has been sitting underneath my skin so long with this particular hunk animated in my imagination, that I’m finding it very difficult to let go of him.  I’ve spent ridiculous amounts of time searching the net for who he is, but I’ve had no luck.  In fact, I’m feeling a little paralyzed in my writing and distracted from other important tasks in my life by the search for identifying this dreamboat.  I need help.

Somebody who reads neverland knows who this guy is, I’m sure.  In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if one of you put me onto this inspiring physique and clean cut face.  Even more to the point, I know that there are net-obsessed boys with a lot more technical savvy than I have who may have just the search tool to nail this hardbody down (which, coincidentally, is precisely the plot I’m writing!).  I need you your help.  Please. Scratch this itch before it drives me insane!

Give Me All You’ve Got!

After nearly mounting a come from behind victory over Cameron Mathews in this week’s reader’s choice poll (and given another couple of hours, I think he’d have done it!), I asked Skip Vance if he’d chat with me in more detail about what makes such a hot jobber like him tick.  He was more than happy to give a fascinating and provocative glimpse into the life of a jobber and his tall stud of a wrestling kink lover.  Skip went surprisingly deep in this interview – touching on family, chronic health concerns, and his unvarnished opinions about the people behind the scenes in homoerotic wrestling. For his honesty, his hard, hot bod, and his life lived with so many inspiring passions, I’m very happy to have had the opportunity to get to know him better. You will be, too!
————-
Skip Vance – 5’6″, 135 lbs.

Bard: First of all, I love your wrestling resume! How long have you been wrestling?

Skip: I’ve been wrestling around 6 years now. Thanks for being a fan!

Bard: Truly my pleasure! When did you get connected with BG East?

Christian shows Skip the erotic wrestling ropes.

Skip: After about a year dating Christian, one night when we were playing pool at a bar. I could tell he was scared and wanted to tell me something. It took him about an hour to tell me that he did wrestling. I was confused about why it was a big deal. So we went back to his place and he showed me a BG East VHS. Oh my God! I fell in love with wrestling that moment. We went into his then tiny bedroom were I let him beat the hell out of me in my first wrestling match I had ever done. My school had nothing of the sort.

Bard: Holy shit that’s the sexiest dating story I’ve heard EVER! Do you remember who it was that you saw him wrestling that first time?

Skip: I can’t remember at the moment but the video is in our collection. I can answer that for you in a bit after he is home from work. I’m almost certain it was TJ Tanner.

So your boyfriend takes you home, pops in a video, and shows you this…!

Bard: Hot, hot, hot! So you’ve also done some work with Rock Hard Wrestling. How did you get connected with them?

Skip: We were contacted by Rock Hard and thought we would give them a shot. Neither of us left happy. I thought the matches were too scripted and it just seemed so fake. The owner did not want it to be obviously gay. That confused the hell out of me. Since then we have learned that BG East is the place our heart is when it comes to wrestling.

Christian’s watches with concern as Tyler Reeves tortures
Skip over at RHW

Bard: Fair enough. So what’s Christian’s major wrestling weakness? What’s your best bet and making him submit?

Skip: As soon as our matches become nude it’s pretty much over with. We move on to the next best thing. I always get him in a body scissor of some sort and start taking it off.

Bard: Yes, yes, yes! What’s he do to you that you can’t resist?

Skip: For me it’s seeing his face as he gets to throw me around our wrestling room. It takes our relationship to the next level. The forceful kissing when he knows he has me and I can’t move really turns me on.

“…forceful kissing when he knows he has me and I can’t move really turns me on.”

Bard: Damn… damn, damn, damn that sounds like a match made in heaven on every level. It struck me when I was watching your Sexy Showdown 6 match for the 100th time that the two of you make quite a visually striking pair. You’re quite a bit shorter than Christian, yes?

Skip: Yes I am a lot shorter (laughing). But that does not stop me from being the one that takes control in every aspect of our relationship, if you know what I mean. Like my mother says, Christian has the brains and I have the common sense.

Bard: Mom sounds cool! Does she know what you get up to in Pembroke?

Skip: Yes my mother does know I wrestle and is a huge supporter of me no matter what I do in life, as long as I’m happy. She got picture after picture during the past weekend at BG East.

Staying fit inside and out!

Bard: That’s adorable. And damn you are one lean anatomy chart of a little stud! I’m guessing your physical conditioning is a key to your capacity to soak up the amount of punishment that you have over the years. What part of your physique are you proudest of?

Skip: I am very blessed when it comes to my body. Both my mom and dad always have been in great shape. I guess I’m the proudest of what you can’t see. I was diagnosed with Chron’s disease a few years ago. I keep to a strict diet to keep from having flare-ups. It was a very hard battle to stop all my bad habits when it came to food. I was always the one that would eat what I want when I want and lucky for me my body didn’t notice (laughing). I will say my hair is one of the most important things. I have had this hair style for about 15 years… way longer than Justin Bieber.

Bard: And you’d so kick Bieber’s ass! In fact, I’d pay to see that. A lot. Is your Chron’s under control these days? Since you were just at BGE throwing down, I’m guessing your still doing pretty well.

Skip: Yes my health is back to 100%. Flare-ups can happen at any point in time, so a healthy diet is a must.

Bard: Glad to hear it’s under control. What part of your physique does Christian like most?

It’s Skip’s ass that does it for Christian

Skip: Christian says its my ass that has always done it for him. I’m so little and it’s just.. there… he said.

Bard: I went on the record months ago calling for, nay, pleading to see you and Christian turn tag team partners with a nod to the fact that you’re lovers out of the ring as well. So when I recently saw your Facebook update reporting that you were climbing into the ring last weekend to wrestle a tag team match with him, I was dizzy with excitement. Tell me every last detail you can tell me without having Kid Leopard hunt us both down and kick our asses!

Skip: I really can’t go into any details on the match besides its very hot. With BG East it might be a while until it comes out.

Bard: I want to give you a ton of credit for being at the forefront of reaching out to your fans. I realize that not all homoerotic wrestlers want to interact with their fan base, and of course that’s cool, but you have been absolutely wonderful about acknowledging your fans, being available to us through your Facebook page and your new fan page, and really demonstrating genuine appreciation and respect for the guys who can’t get enough of you! Is there anything you’d like your fans to know about you, about your work, or about the business?

Skip:
 I want my fans to know that I am the most chill person behind the boy that likes his ass beat (laughing). I love my job. I am a union steward. Politics is my life, I want to help change this country for the better on LGBT rights. Being with my partner for 7 years and not being able to have the same rights as a married couple hurts me. My hobbies are remodeling our home, working outside, running and playing with my three dogs.

Bard: Coincidentally, I used to have a shop steward who should’ve been a homoerotic wrestler! And all of the sexiest men have dogs… that’s my working theory at least. Speaking of getting your ass beast, you seem to be awfully proud of the fact that your lean ass has been bashed by the best. What’s it like for you when you’re in the middle of a match being dominated by some bigger guy?

Skip: Oh, it’s great. Just when you think you can’t take anymore, the beating gets worse. At least in mine and Jonny’s match it did. I tell the guys before we start to wrestle that just because I am in pain does not mean I’m asking you to stop or to go easier. Outside of wrestling you would never think I love a good beating. It’s wrestling that gets that part out of me. And thank god because other wise I would be in a lot if street fights.

Skip’s “Boston boyfriend” knows what Skip likes

Bard: Speaking of your match with Jonny Firestorm, wowza! Damn he OWNED you, and I hope you don’t mind me saying that the way you suffered in his hands was a masterpiece! I mean, sometimes we see guys “suffer,” as in grimace and grunt a little and squirm (not to name any names), but holy hell! The out and out anguish wracking your entire, smoking hot bod was absolutely incredible to watch. I saw on your FB page a shot of you, Jonny and Christian from this weekend. Looks like after all that brutality, you’re good friends.

Skip: Yes, even after the brutality we are great friends. We stay in touch between wrestling weekends at BG East. Jonny is a very chill guy that nobody should have a problem getting along with. I always kid and say he is my Boston boyfriend. I honestly thought he was going to slam me through the wall in our match. He was surprised that I was able to walk after all the wrestling holds he got me in. All in all I would say our match is my favorite to this day.

Bard: Is Jonny the opponent who made you hurt the worst?

Skip: Absolutely, and I want another match with him. It’s awesome when you know you have wrestled the best. But at the same time I want my other opponents to come with the same energy and strength.

Bard: So name some names, Skip! Other than Christian, who’s turned you on the hardest?

Bounce, bounce, bounce!”

Skip: I would say my top three being Jonny, Kid Karisma and Mike Martin.

Bard: That’s a beautiful, beautiful list! Seriously, Kid Karisma’s ass… as mind-blowing in person as it is on camera?

Skip: Absolutely. I love it when he makes it shake (laughing). Just imagine going to the club with him. Bounce, bounce, bounce.

Bard: Oh my, I’ll have to mull that image over in my mind for a while. But in the mean time, the Boss mentioned in a comment on the blog that this past weekend in addition to you and Christian and a bunch of other wrestlers who make me insanely aroused, there were at least a couple of newbies. What do you think a brand spanking new rookie needs to show in a BG East debut to establish himself as a returning fan favorite?

Skip: I would say personality is key during the match. Of course as wrestlers we are getting to live out our fantasies, but we have to make sure we’re doing everything we can so they viewer watching at home is living out his as he watches. This is the reason I feel so strongly in reaching out to my fans and getting to know them. It helps in my match to know I’m making someone else as happy as I’m making myself.

Bard: I love that attitude! And it totally shows in your wrestling. Who haven’t you faced yet at BGE that you’d like to get your hands on (and vice versa)?

Cameron Mathews could give Skip a welcome beating

Skip: I got to watch a match live with Cameron Matthews this past weekend. I would love to take a good beating from him.

Bard: It’s no wonder that he managed to hold off your late advance in the reader’s choice poll, is it? He’s one hot wrestler with a fantastic ability to sell and an amazing body to watch! Anybody else, current or past at BGE, that you’d like to get worked on by? Because I’ve got suggestions… Like how is it possible Kid Vicious hasn’t got his hands on you? I’d also make a case for Denny Cartier… Denny always seems to me to be teetering on the edge of turning really, really dark, and a punishment sponge like you could be just the thing to awaken Denny’s inner beast! Just suggesting.

Skip: I’m very open for suggestions. I honestly am willing to take on anyone. I kind of get a thrill out of going into the matches not knowing who I’m up against. Majority of the time I’m very pleased with the wrestler. I always let them know in my pre-match up that I don’t want them to take it easy on me. If you’re not giving me all you have then you’re wasting my time.

Bard: Speaking of giving your all, your offer to go on a dinner date with one lucky fan if you won the “Dinner Date” reader’s choice poll at neverland this week was absolutely brilliant! I was tempted to try to stuff the ballot box on your behalf, but frankly I’m not technologically savvy enough to know how to do that. Next time I’m in your hometown, will you let me treat you dinner?

Skip’s happy all over to wrestle Mike Martin!

Skip: Absolutely. I love cooking and having guests over. The first thing I did after returning from Boston was to finish my collection of china. I aim to please in everything I do. It would be an honor to have you over for dinner. In the past year I could count on two hands the times me and Christian have gone out to eat. I make lunch for him on Sundays that will last the week. I cook dinner fresh every night. I am huge in buying local and staying away from corporate bullshit stores. I even go to a place called the strip district to buy local meats and veggies. If I can’t find out we’re it’s from I do not buy it.

Bard: I’m getting a clear picture of why Christian has been with you for 7 years!!!

Skip: I also do grow my own garden every year. I was raised in Arkansas. My nearest neighbor being 4 miles away. My family lived off the land. My grandfather was a commercial fisherman so fresh is the only way for me.

Bard: Sounds fantastic! What did you mean when you said you finished your collection of china?

Skip: (laughing) I’ve been collecting and buying it piece by piece because, let’s just be frank, I don’t buy anything cheap. If I do not have the cash up front then I do not get it. So for the past two years I’ve been slowly buying it. Now it’s complete and I NEED a guest to serve! (laughing)

Bard: (laughing) I’m your man, then! Fresh, organic, and homemade… on expensive china? I’m tempted to book a flight today! I hope you’re okay with hosting a vegetarian. Am I correct in remembering from your Facebook post recently that you’re available to wrestle for hire? What’s it like being hired to fulfill somebody’s personal wrestling fantasy like that?

Skip stays in shape to face his next opponent… you?

Skip: We’ll that is something new I’m trying to get into. With Christian being out of grad school we want to get our debt paid off ASAP so we can one day adopt a child. I am certain I will love it. I keep an open mind with everything. I want my fans to enjoy more than just a video. I want to please my fans in my videos and give them the chance to meet me and get to do what Jonny Firestorm did to me – to get their hands on me!

Bard: Awe-some! Reading the comments on your Facebook page and fan page, it’s clear that there are plenty guys who want just that. With the extremely hot action that you and Christian have both been part of at BGE, has there ever been any jealousy? Mike Martin’s tongue down Christian’s throat ever give you a twinge? Your lips around Billy Lodi’s cock make Christian a little green?

Skip: Not that I’m aware of. We both know that we’re made for each other. Of course at home and for BG East we’re very honest and open in our relationship. If he or I find a guy to be very hot and want to wrestle and get a little wild we let each other know. Keeping open conversation with each other is key. Christian can sometimes wear me out with all his energy, and it’s good to just sit back and watch.

Bard: I know from experience that it can be very good to sit back and watch either of you take on someone new! Is there anything else you’d like fans to know about what makes an unabashed hot jobber like you tick?

Skip: I’m drawing a blank (laughing). Just being yourself is key for me. I am not in to people making themselves out to be someone they’re not. If you’re honest we will work well together.

Bard: 
I know you get a ton of praise from your fans through watching the comments on your Facebook page, but it bears repeating: you’re one awesome, sexy as hell wrestler and a true delight to both watch wrestle and talk with! Thanks for doing this!

Skip: Hey, no problem. If you ever have any questions or want to talk just hit me up. Thanks again. It’s been a pleasure.

Bieber’s got nothing on BG East’s resident hot jobber!

Dinner Date Chosen

Cam’s the dinner date of choice!
The commanding winner in the reader’s choice poll to determine which homoerotic wrestler readers would most want to have visit their homes for dinner was none other than wrestling hunk extraordinaire Cameron Mathews.  He crossed the finish line with 36% of the vote, which is a decisive testimony to the loyal fans he’s earned from working that gorgeous bubble butt of his off from coast to coast and production to production over the past decade.  He held steady at or around 50% of the vote through most of the two days that the poll was open, in fact, looking like he was going to blow away his next closest competition by more than double.  However, just this morning, with mere hours left to vote, shit got interesting!
Skip convinces Christian that he’ll show up for dinner with a fan too!
That’s when fierce little scrapper Skip Vance put out a message on Facebook lobbying his fans to mount a come from behind maneuver on Cam (and who among us haven’t fantasized about a come from behind maneuver on Cam!?).  Skip offered one fan selected at random to be treated to a dinner made by his own hands if he ends up on top of the polls once all is said and done.  He instantly got a bump, pulling ahead of Kid Karisma for second place.  When Skip added that both he and former homoerotic wrestler of the month and Skip’s lover, Christian Taylor, would sit down to said dinner with the randomly selected fan, the sprint to the finish line was on! He began to close the distance with Cam at such a pace that I was seriously beginning to suspect a photo finish.  While Cam limped across the line with the decisive victory, nobody was stronger around the last turn than hot and eager Skip! As to whether he’ll still auction off a dinner date, we’ll have to wait and see.

Kid Karisma can’t believe you left him in 3rd place!
Third place winner and party-boy muscle stud Kid Karisma has got to be scratching his head right about now wondering how he not only got outpaced by Cam but blown-by flat footed by late bloomer Skip! Somehow, I’m guessing with his life-of-the-party karisma and astonishingly sexy body (look… at… that… ASS!!!), Kid K has never been short of dinner invitations. If he’s ever in need of a hot meal and adoring company, he’s got a place at my table anytime.  As for restraining myself from putting my hands on those glutes, no promises, Kid K.
Dinner? Steel Muscle God Dan may be too busy being worshipped!
Not surprisingly, Steel Muscle God Dan had a very solid showing in the poll. It’s not surprising because if you spend any time at all at steelmusclegod.com, you pick up on the fact very quickly that Dan’s got a worldwide following of extremely rabid fans who are very, very loyal to SMG.  If he’d put out the call to his worshippers to really mobilize the vote, I strongly suspect he’d have put some hurt on even Cam.  I’m not too worried that SMG’s ego will take a hit for not winning the reader’s choice poll here. He’s got muscles of steel, for god’s sake, and the self-confidence to strip naked and demand to be worshipped.  However, if he’s ever in the neighborhood and feeling peckish, he can take solace in the fact that I’ll be more than happy to set another place at the table.
“A Fabulous Dinner Date!”
Through back channels I was delighted to hear that Lon Dumont had an opinion on the matter.  His opinion was, of course, that he’d make a “fabulous dinner date!”  He also mentioned that since he’s been dieting like a fiend in preparation for the bodybuilding season about to commence any minute, he could seriously put 2nds and 3rds away right now, so plan ahead if you invite him to dinner. Lon knows that he has a standing invitation to my table, and I’m also ever ready to apply his instant tan all over every inch of his body before any and every competition (which wasn’t up for consideration in the poll, but I just wanted to make that point clear).
Not everyone could handle an evening with Eli Black
I’m guessing Eli Black knows full well why he didn’t win.  You were too fucking scared of him! Truth be told, despite his expansive ego and fiercely competitive spirit when it comes to absolutely everything, I just bet that the Shutdown would completely charm the pants off you if you had him over for dinner.  Of course, the poll wasn’t about who you’re ready to take your pants off for, but even keeping my pants on, I’d be delighted and honored to pass Eli the mashed potatoes.
Darius “BMG” is looking for a taste of SMG!
Darius had a solid showing in the poll, reflecting what I happen to know is a loyal base of fans who’ve been wanting to see more of this Black Muscle God – more screen time and more skin! Darius let it be known that he doled out his vote for Steel Muscle God, because despite SMG being a no-show to face Darius stateside, Darius still has his sights set on an epic showdown between the Steel Muscle God and the Black Muscle God. Fuck the poll! I’ll push my furniture to the walls to watch that battle of the gods live!
Is that Chris Isaak? No, it’s hot jobber Ken Canada!
Long-time friend and contributor to this blog, Stay Puft, let it be known that he simply had to register his vote for energizer bunny and possessor of endless hotness and stories of hotness, Ken Canada. He never picked up traction in the polling, but I have to agree with S.P. when he points out that Ken’s sense of humor and enthusiastic understanding of the eroticism of wrestling would make him a truly entertaining dinner date!
Cage Thunder is busy serving up some meat of his own
I happen to know that Cage Thunder registered his vote in the poll for Lon. Get those two bull dozers on the same page and I can’t imagine what tag team would dare step foot in the ring with them.  But around the dinner table, I can’t help but figure that meal would go into the wee hours of the morning as these two profoundly reflective men trade wit and wisdom from never-ending reserves.  Personally, I’m a little astonished Cage Thunder didn’t show better in the polling, and I have to chalk it up to Eli’s theory that there were just a whole lot of you too damn frightened to sit across the table from him.  Not me.  He’s got a standing invitation at chez Bard.

Don’t bother Ben with dinner invitations.  He’s building a wrestling career, people!
The rookie sensation with magical lips, Ben Monaco never managed to build a head of steam in voting.   Big Ben is brand spanking new to the industry, of course, so pitting him against absolute fixtures in homoerotic wrestling like Cameron Mathews was always going to be an uphill battle for him.  My educated guess is that Ben isn’t surprised at all that he wasn’t the top vote-getter, and if anything he’s just that much more eager to plant his hot ass on another opponent’s face and absolutely make you forget all about the rest for a moment and marvel at him as he tests what he’s got against the best at BGE.  Ben knows he’s just at the beginning of an incredibly sexy, demanding journey into our hearts, but as for me I’ve got a casserole and a bottle of wine just waiting for him.

Reader’s Choice Poll – Dinner Date

When asked which presidential candidate they would prefer to visit their home for dinner, 52% of respondents named President Obama, compared with just 33% of them selecting $omney.  Personally, I think this is the most useless polling question to be asked every four years, but sadly the American electorate seems to consistently prioritize this kind of popularity contest over actual qualifications for leading this country (foreign policy experience? a grasp of the legislative process? the capacity to make life-and-death decisions with regard to the use of military power and weapons of mass destruction?  no, we’re more likely to vote based on who we’d prefer to have dinner with… oy).  That’s enough of my political analysis for today, other than to alert my Swedish readers once again that if Tax-Dodger $omney is elected in November, I expect one of you to sponsor me as a political refugee.
I say let’s save such weighty questions like who we’d prefer to visit our homes for dinner for really important matters, like considering our favorite homoerotic wrestlers.  Sure, dinner table repartee isn’t exactly all that relevant to what compels us most in picking our homoerotic wrestling fare, but I still say it’s more relevant to wrestlers than politicians.  So this reader’s choice poll asks you to consider who you’d most prefer to have over for dinner.  I’m limiting the field to those who’ve demonstrated at least a little of their communication skills by being interviewed on the pages of this blog.  You can nominate someone else in the comments below, but the names on the poll are strictly drawn from the “friends of the blog” on record. This is about the dinner table, mind you.  Don’t base your choice on who’d you prefer to make you suffer in a head scissors in the living room after dinner.  We’re talking about an evening absent of actual wrestling (though of course the dinner conversation is entirely available to muse on the topic).  We’re also not talking about who you want to fuck.  This is an evening in which no semblance of sexual contact is going to happen.  You can decide how to instruct your dinner guests with regard to attire, so you can eye-fuck them across the table all night long, but physical contact is limited to handshakes and, let’s just say, a lingering, full-body hug to say goodnight (no ass squeeze!).  The real question is who would you like sitting across the table from you to talk with, to ask for their insights, to tell them what’s on your mind, to wax philosophical about wrestling or politics or religion or whatever topic the two of you want to talk about.  So that’s the background.  Here are your choices of dinner guests:

Lon Dumont: the first wrestler to grant me an interview a year and a half ago, Lon’s body and wrestling skills have earned him a permanent spot at or very near the top of my favorites ever since I first set eyes on him.  His ring banter was one of the most entertaining and arousing aspects of his work that captured my attention and keeps me coming back for more.  But his interview was a revelation into the diverse passions and thoughtful, open-minded outlook on life that make me think Lon would make an absolutely delightful dinner guest. Topics you would most likely find yourself discussing: bodybuilding, pets, indy wrestling, homoerotic wresting, hairstyles, freedom from religion, and Rocky.

Ken Canda: this classic from the early days of BG East has his picture next to the definition of the phrase: hot jobber.  His wrestling is foundational watching for those with any interest in seeing the evolution of the pro wrestling babyface jobber into an entirely unique and incredibly arousing fixture tailored to the tastes of the gay wrestling kink audience.  No, you DON’T get to pound him in an OTK backbreaker and claw his balls, though under different circumstances, I suspect he may very well be open to it (so save it for your second date).  But as evidenced in his extensive interview on the pages of this blog, Ken is happy to stroll down memory lane and tell you absolutely intoxicating tales of behind the cameras shenanigans from the early days at BGE, including delightful descriptions of every wrestler he faced and just how incredibly arousing it was to be brutalized over and over again.  You will hear about the esprit de corps that forged bonds of brotherhood and homoerotic beauty among the men who truly enjoyed each other’s company on and off camera, as well as the insights of a fellow wrestling kinkster who continues to live and love the eroticism of wrestling whenever he gets the chance.

Kid Karisma: As he explained in our interview last January, there’s a reason the Boss gave him the moniker Kid Karisma! While you won’t have the chance to get your hands on that legendary muscle ass of his over dinner, you can get lost gazing into those baby blues and have your feet swept right out from underneath you (metaphorically) by that sly, sideways grin and a wink from the man who is as charismatic as they come! He’ll entertain you with the extremely hot candid photos he takes with his phone, and just between the two of you, he’s likely to spill all the dirt on the best, baddest, horniest and hottest action to go on behind the scenes at BG East. I recommend not serving your best china, because I’m guessing this insatiable party boy could be dancing on the table before dessert!

Eli Black: a wrestling match with this hot young phenom would put you on your back in a heartbeat, but a no-holds dinner date with the boy wonder would, no doubt, just as surely keep you on your toes.  As I learned first hand in our interview last February, he’s got an in-your-face charm that I personally find completely disarming, but don’t let your defenses down too quickly.  Eli is not a man to be trifled with, and polite chit chat about the weather or the price of tea in China will earn you a withering insult and sneer of contempt.  But if you’re up for a dinner guest who loves a debate, who wants nothing more than to meet the man who’ll give as hard as he gets, and who never, ever tires of talking about the most important topic of all: himself; then Eli may be your man. I’m also guessing he’ll have his shirt and pants off in a heartbeat if you show a little interest in his ink (but remember, you don’t get to touch, just admire hands-free).

Steel Muscle God “Dan”: SMG rocked my world when he agreed to chat with me about the life of an online bodyworship phenom with an innate understanding of wrestling kink.  While you are not allowed to lick his steel muscles from head to toe during this dinner date, I guarantee you that you’ll feel a stirring deep down in your pants the moment he opens his luscious lips and growls out his erotically charged baritone.  Seriously, this man oozes sexiness. He could make me cum by reading the phonebook, and I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t come back for more of the same as soon as I reloaded.  Although you can’t touch it, SMG is an unapologetic exhibitionist, so whatever attire you specified, plan on seeing him take it off before the meal is over.  Be prepared to laugh a lot, because he’s got an entrancing sense of humor, and he’s the only hot bodied hunk I know with both the balls to take our money to worship his naked body AND poke fun at himself.  Conversation is likely to revolve around friends, working out, and censorship on the net, but seriously… just shut the fuck up, watch his gorgeous lips move, and let that voice transport you to your fondest fantasies.
Skip Vance: although I haven’t enjoyed a full-length interview with him yet, Skip did considerately take  the time to give me some on-the-record feedback on my take on his real life lover and rumored-to-be tag team partner, former homoerotic wrestler of the month Christian Taylor.  An unapologetic jobber with a crazy lust for getting his hot bod bashed mercilessly, he’s off limits for you to dish out any of your own corporal punishment you’ve been inspired to fantasize about after watching Skip at work! But I can guarantee you that you’ll definitely hear him gush about his life of domestic bliss with Christian (including their private wrestling routines), his fierce lust for wrestling, and the catalog of crushing humiliation he’s suffered at the hands of… well, everyone!  Don’t be surprised to also get a strong dose of workers’ rights and musings on healthy cooking, because he’s one well-rounded babyface masochist!

Ben Monaco: in our interview in June, Ben gave neverland readers a glimpse into what it’s like for a new kid on the block to get “discovered” by the star-makers at BG East.  His hungry lips are completely off limits to you this night, mind you, but perhaps you’ll decide to serve popsicles for desert so you can watch him wrap those baby’s around something long and suck it hard.  He’s a new face in the homoerotic wrestling universe, but I can assure you that you’ll enjoy plenty of delightful insights into erotic wrestling from him.  Ask him about the gallons of sweat he drenches his opponents with… go ahead, I dare you, because after listening to him describe his body slipping and sliding across his opponent’s drenched muscles, you’ll be politely excusing yourself to take care of a pressing need that’s arisen in your crotch.  If you can convince him that you can keep a secret, he’ll tell you straight up who’s doing what on camera and off, and he’ll give you his unvarnished opinion on the ranks he’s still working to rise within.

Cage Thunder: my interview in July was just the tip of the iceberg about knowing the man beneath the mask.  You know you want him to knee you in the balls and crush your face into his crotch as you grovel in front of him, but none of that is allowed on this dinner date! So take a cold shower and pick out your finest mask to wear, because Cage Thunder is a class act who’ll demand the best.  Points of discussion to prepare for: wrestling, gear, New Orleans, erotica, boys he’s bashed, boys he’s still waiting to bash, the existential implications of all of the above… If you’re daring, though, you’ll just mention the name “Mitch Colby,” and then sit back and watch the sparks fly for hours on end!

Darius: also granting me an interview in July, bodybeautiful private wrestling hunk turned BG East muscle beast, Darius would be a charming dinner date, I’m certain.  There’s just something about him that makes me think of the word “gentlemanly.”  If it’s the custom in your house, I expect he wouldn’t think twice about taking his shoes off when entering.  Hell, tell him it’s the custom in your house and I bet the beautiful hunk of muscle would take all his clothes off to show you your proper respect, because he’s not shy for an instant about showing skin! Working out, the underground wrestling circuit, his plans to destroy SMG in body and soul… all these are likely topics you’ll cover over the course of the evening, but the only thing you’ll remember when the napkins are put down and the last of the wine gone is falling into those gorgeous eyes and watching his knee-buckling sexy lips move as he talks to you.  Go ahead and tell him it’s the custom in your house that dinner guests flex for their dessert. Darius is not a man to neglect the niceties! 

Cameron Mathews: just last month I interviewed your final option for a dinner date with a homoerotic wrestler.  I know you want Cam and Lon to show up together, preferably to reprise their indy wrestling days and wrestle one another in your living room, but it’s not going to happen this time! If it’s Cam who strikes your fancy, just remember you can look at that legendary bubble butt, but you can’t touch! He’s pretty much the epitome of a babyface, but don’t think for an instant that you’ll have some naive kid tucking his napkin in his shirt and asking you to pass the ketchup for his filet mignon.  This veteran of nearly every production company across homoerotic and straight-up independent wrestling known to man has seen it all, and if you’re ready to show him his proper respect, I bet he’ll keep the conversation lively with stories from the long road of making a living with a passionate love of wrestling, a hot body, and boyish good looks. If you’re looking for reflections on post-Marxist critical philosophers, Cam may not be your man, because he lives, breathes, eats and drinks nothing but wrestling, my friends.  But if it’s every aspect of wrestling from coast to coast, hardbody to doughboy, ring to mat, jobber to heel that will delight you, then you can’t go wrong with picking Cam.

Register your vote at the right. Only one vote per person (this is highly scientific!). Polls close in 2 days. Lobbying for your choice in the comments below is strongly encouraged.

Making Jake…

After reading my first edition of the a-b-c’s of Making Jake…, Eli Black put me on notice that a little love for JJ is okay, but not to be distracted from appreciating Primus.  Having duly noted Eli’s words of caution, here are my next Making Jake… contributions: letters F through J.
Making Jake…
“F” is for flex: the sight of Christian Taylor’s destruction compels Jake to do it in Wet and Wild 6

flex! While I’d pay a premium to see Jake in “forced to flex” scenario, it’s still delightful to see him look down at the work he’s wrought, such as brutally bashing a whimpering submission from former homoerotic wrestler of the month Christian Taylor, and finding himself irresistibly compelled to plant his left foot on his vanquished opponent and display the very same sweetly sweat-soaked muscles credited with crushing the hopes of another hot hunk.  His sight of his opponent’s vulnerability, anguish, and impotence grab hold of his full attention and make Jake flex.

“G” is for grovel: Jayden Mayne makes Jake do it in Gazebo Grapplers 13

grovel. Jake does dozens of things extremely well (thus the premise for this series of posts), but I have to say I think at or very near the top of the list is his incredibly evocative groveling.  He’s such the hunky high-school hero turned cocky homoerotic wrestling stud puppy! Every Jake-match starts with him in the foreground and his cool, calm, supremely confident self-assurance in his destiny to sit on top of the heap in the background.  This makes it that much more moving to watch when a long, lanky, young tattooed punk like Jayden Mayne manages not only to get the upperhand on the high school hero (who almost certainly gave skinny kids like Jayden swirlies in the boys bathroom not long ago), but to to put Jake on his hands and knees, controlling the handsome hunk by a handful of hair, and make Jake grovel!

“H” is for horny, which Jake can handle all by himself!

horny. So it’s totally true that, other than a youthful indiscretion captured on digital recording that I’ve promised him not to name here, Jake’s on-camera career has stayed firmly on the PG-rated side of the homoerotic wrestling pool.  For all of the thousands of gay men who Jake expertly turns on at the drop of a hat, my well-educated guess is that off the clock he probably satisfies himself by bedroom wrestling with some phallic-deficient beauty(ies).  I swear to you that the boy with the luscious lips is packing major league heat, but he keeps his powertool safely tucked away in everything we’ve seen of him in the homoerotic wrestling universe.  But this behind-the-scenes shot from BG East of Jake playing with his nipples is a nothing short of fucking art! Because if anyone can turn Jake on, it’s Jake.  Putting the self-stimulated into homoerotic wrestling, Jake’s the man to make Jake horny!

“I” is for incapacitated: Eli Black doe it to Jake better than just about anyone

incapacitated. A wise, albeit verbose commentor told me once (and then a thousand times) that the winning formula in homoerotic wrestling is taking a gorgeous, powerful muscle stud and watch all those muscles made impotent (which is my runner-up for the “i” category in this series).  While I quibble with the notion that there’s just one formula for hot wrestling, seeing bromantic Eli Black shove Jake’s head between his thighs and nearly rip Jake’s arms out by the shoulders while Jake’s breathtaking bare ass writhes and wriggles pointlessly is like a direct shot of adrenaline to my wrestling kink.  There are fewer scenes more provocative than watching someone make Jake incapacitated.

“J” is for jump: Cliff Johnson absolutely demands just that from resident “little fucking monkey”

jump! Jake’s compulsion to fly is precisely what prompted Kid Karisma to refer to him as that “little fucking monkey” in our interview last January.  “I have never seen someone jump around as much as him,” Kid K marveled. The first time I saw Jake wrestle, my initial snap judgment was that he had amateur wrestling cred which would translate to underwhelming entertainment value in the pro wrestling ring.  Right about the time that thought occurred to me, Jake came bouncing off the ropes both feet first to land a totally respectable and highly entertaining flying drop kick! Of course, not every match makes Jake jump.  But in the pro ring, in firm possession of the match momentum, all it takes is some over-confident, flat-footed, unsuspecting hardbodied hunk standing in front of him to make Jake jump!

More Olympic Spirit

The final sport to host its own post-Olympics homoerotic wrestling competition in my mind is, of course, wrestling.  The process of narrowing down the field to just the handful or so 2012 Olympic wrestlers who inspire my fantasies most was arduous, to say the least.  I hardly need to tell you that wrestling does a body good!  Relegating some of these hunks of grappling meat to the footnotes and mentions from the qualifying rounds was brutal on me.  But that’s why you pay me the big bucks: to make the hard decisions.  So here is the 2012 wrestlers homoerotic wrestling competition in my mind, featuring the hot bundles of muscle and lycra that managed to score a spot in the final rounds of my imaginary tournament.  Picture the pro wrestling ring assembled right in the center of the amateur mats.  Get rid of the half a dozen or so fans who packed the arena for straight up competition who would fail to get the innate connection between wrestling and homoeroticism, and squeeze in a few hundred more from our ranks of diehard homoerotic wrestling fans (we get the ringside seats, baby!).  The lights go down.  The spotlight hits the door to the locker room…

Uzbekistan’s Artur Taymazov – 5’9″, 265 lbs., 33 y/o

Artur Taymazov from Uzbekistan strolls out of the locker room and across the mats, earning an instant and enthusiastic standing ovation.  Not that the superhuman muscle beast looks like he gives a shit.  He’s built like a comic book super villain: shaved head, traps so massive he essentially has no neck, shoulders the size of bowling balls.  He’s in a red singlet so tight you can see the veins on his semi-erect cock in clear relief underneath the fabric.  Artur has been so dominant in homoerotic wrestling competitions for the past 12 years that the field of Olympic competitors willing to go for the gold in the pro ring has dwindled seriously.  When he started breaking the bones of his opponents with some regularity, the field thinned considerably.  But it was about two years ago, when Artur began making a big show of deciding, post-victory, whether or not to fuck his opponent’s with his beer can cock in the middle of the ring, that many of the most promising, up and coming homoerotic wrestling prospects began bowing out of the competition.  He got a by in the first round of qualifiers this time around when Austrian playboy Amer Hrustanovic fled the country rather than face Artur in the ring.  Artur won the second round of qualifiers by defeating Italian powerhouse Daigoro Timoncini, requiring only 5 minutes to make the 212 pound Italian stallion submit, but then taking another 15 minutes to plow the blue-eyed Italian beast with Artur’s one-eyed Uzbeki power tool.  Artur has the respect of everyone who follows the sport, and he has an army of insanely fanatical followers, but he seriously doesn’t seem to notice.  He’s just here to dominate, and when a victim strikes his fancy, claim his well-earned spoils.

Hungarian Gabor Hatos – 5’7″, 163 lbs., 28 y/o

Bravely sprinting out of the locker room doors a minute later is the hairy Hungarian gladiator, Gabor Hatos, wearing a skin tight blue singlet plastered to his stunning body.  He’s only 2 inches shorter than Taymazov, but he’s an astonishing 100 pounds lighter than the Uzbek living legend.  Sculpted out of granite, nonetheless, Gabor is back from an injury that knocked him out of competition for a couple of years.  At least, that was the official explanation.  Somehow the Hungarian was healthy enough to compete in the world championships each year, but mysteriously absent from the homoerotic wrestling combat afterward “due to injury.”  Gabor handily defeated French stud Steeve Guenot in his first qualifying match this time around, and then brutalized American Ellis “the Flying Squirrel” Coleman to win his second qualifier with Ellis on his knees, choking out his submission with his mouth full.

Gabor tries to rally the crowd behind him

The Hungarian climbs through the ropes and flexes, roaring at the crowd to rally behind his bid to unseat the most dominating force in homoerotic wrestling.  When the crowd rises to their feet, Gabor grows silent and stares at the living legend across the ring from him silently for several seconds.  With a primal yell, Gabor sprints across the ring and slams his outstretched, muscle bound right upper arm into the upper chest of his opponent in a clothesline attempt.  The crowd gasps when Artur doesn’t move an inch.  Gabor bounces off of him and stumbles backward.  The adrenaline rush of fear makes his chest heave as the musclebound Hungarian breaths deeply.  A snarl of rage twists his face as he charges a second time, lunging low and driving his right shoulder into the Uzbek’s lower abdomen.  The blow makes Artur take half a step backward, but that’s pretty much it.

“What the fuck was I thinking?”

Gabor, on the other hand, crumples to his knees, clutching his right shoulder and leaning heavily on the tree trunks that Artur has for thighs.  Artur’s upper lip curls as he wraps his right hand around the Hungarian’s throat, barely deigning to glance down at his opponent.  Gabor clutches the Uzbek’s wrist, his eyes wide with fear.  The crowd rises to their feet at exactly the same moment that Artur drags Gabor to his feet.  The Hungarian’s face turns beet red as Artur stares into it for a moment, as if searching his opponent’s soul.  With a grunt, the Uzbek barely bends his knees before extending his huge right arm straight overhead, lifting his opponent off his feet.  The crowd roars as the superhumanly powerful beast holds Gabor hanging in mid-air for several seconds.  The Hungarian’s feet kick wildly.  His face has become a sickening shade of purple.  No one in the arena doubts that if he could, Gabor would be submitting right now, but his airway is completely closed in Artur’s grip, and  he’s hanging on to the Uzbek’s wrist frantically trying to pry it away from his throat.  Surprisingly quickly, the Hungarian goes limp.  His feet dangle lifelessly. His arms droop to his sides, slack and unmoving.  Artur suddenly drops to his knees, driving Gabor’s upper back into the mat with such force that entire ring quivers.  Gabor’s body bounces once and then comes to rest, motionless on his back.  Artur climbs slowly to his feet, straddling the Hungarian, and then pries his opponent’s arms out of his blue singlet straps.  With one hand, he peels the skin tight fabric down Gabor’s torso while stroking the hairy, mountainous pecs underneath appreciatively.  With one finger he traces down the center line of the Hungarian six-pack.  With both hands now, he yanks the singlet and jock strap underneath down Gabor’s muscular, hairy thighs, exposing the thick copse of hair and mushroom-headed slab of meat.  Artur leaves the blue singlet hanging around Gabor’s ankles as he strokes the palm of his hand up the Hungarian’s hairy legs, sliding his fingers between the muscle stud’s massive thighs and then cupping Gabor’s hairy balls.  Clearly the Uzbek likes what he sees, because when he stands up straight, his beer can cock is fully engorged and stretching the red fabric struggling to contain it.  When he shrugs the bowling balls that he calls deltoids out of his shoulder straps, the pitch of the crowd’s roars rises a half an octave. For the first time, he seems to notice that there are spectators.  Peeling the singlet down his torso, over his waist, and down thighs, he snarls contemptuously up at the stands.  His shredded, mountainous, hairy glutes flex.  He bends forward to peel his singlet over his knees.  And suddenly Gabor is rolling across the mat in a blur of desperate speed.  The Hungarian has clearly been playing possum. Artur starts to take a step to capture him, but he stumbles to one knee, tripped up by his trunks. Gabor continues to roll, spinning underneath the rope and rolling right off the edge of the ring apron to the mat below.  He climbs to his feet and begins to run, but his singlet still wrapped around his ankles make him face plant. Artur manages to pull one foot out of his singlet and charge across the ring, but the frantic Hungarian quickly rips the singlet off his feet and sprints like a bat out of hell for the nearest exit, disappearing into the late night London back streets naked.

“Get that fucker back here!”

Artur bangs his fists into the top rope furiously, his curses quickly drowned out by the rising laughter at the Hungarian’s disgrace and roaring approval of the Uzbek.  A half a minute later, Artur pumps his fists in the air, acknowledging his victory, the first semi-final victory in homoerotic wrestling history decided by forfeit. He gives his frustrated beer can a slap as if to tell it to settle down before retreating from the ring.

Artur grabs Gabor’s singlet on the way back to the locker room.

American Jordan Burroughs – 5’8″, 163 lbs., 24 y/o

Fifteen minutes later, American muscle stud Jordan Burroughs jogs out of the locker room and into the spotlight as the crowd reacts with a warm welcome. Jordan wears a white singlet, the shoulder straps off and rolled down to his narrow waist.  Billed as America’s next homoerotic wrestling world champ, he’s played runner up (on his hands and knees) to Artur Taymazov in the past two world championships, but his handling of the rest of the field has only grown more expert.  On his way to tonight’s semifinal, he commandingly conquered Swiss heartthrob Pascal Strebel in the first qualifying round, and then tapped the ass of 1/2 of the French brother act Christophe Guenot to make it to the semis.  The tattooed black muscle man is famous for being all business, no smiles, and absolutely merciless.

India’s Sushil Kumar – 5’5″, 146 lbs., 29 y/o

The last semi-finalist to sprint out of the locker room is bearded muscleman Sushil Kumar from India.  Sushil arrived late in life to world class amateur wrestling, and he made his first appearance in the homoerotic ranks in this year’s world championships, winning his first qualifier but losing the next.  His primary training is in traditional Indian wrestling, and rumors are that he immersed himself back in his traditional training to prepare for his Olympic homoerotic wrestling debut.  A one-time notorious carouser, Sushil has been reportedly abstaining from alcohol, sex, all forms of self-stimulation, and anything but raw foods. He wears only sky blue briefs as he sprints up to ringside and climbs through the ropes, facing the daunting American.

Shredded Sushil smiles

Jordan flexes his biceps at his opponent with a sneer.  The American’s muscles are stunning.  He’s defined and rock hard, his bis peaked and powerful.  Sushil stands relaxed, his brown body bulging; his six-pack defined with crystal clarity while entirely relaxed.  The Indian hunk smiles disarmingly, which paradoxically appears to piss of Jordan.  The American pounces before Sushil can defend himself, and in a flash the bearded Indian’s head is locked up tight and crushed against Jordan’s side.  Two sharp forearms to the American’s lower back gives him room to pop his head free. The two warriors pause, staring one another down, before Jordan lifts his hands over his head, inviting a test of strength.  Sushil looks briefly uncertain, flexing his biceps and examining his thick, veiny arms for a moment.  He tugs at the whiskers on his chin contemplatively as the American taunts him, flexing his fingers and daring the Indian to accept the challenge.  Sushil wipes the palms of his hands on the back of his trunks and rubs his palms together before slowly raising them.  Their fingers entwine.  Jordan growls like a wild animal and flexes, quickly pressing Sushil’s hands backward.  The American rises to his tip-toes to further exploit his height advantage.  Sweat is already glistening between his carved pecs.  He has his opponent’s wrists jammed backward, but he can’t seem to capitalize on the advantage further.  In fact, Sushil seems astonishingly calm, as if it requires no effort at all to resist his powerful opponent.  A furious shout precedes Jordan’s renewed effort, pressing the back of his opponent’s hands backward until they’re folded nearly back to his wrists.  The crowd grows hushed as they watch the apparent stalemate.  “That it!?” the Indian taunts, inspiring another savage growl as Jordan pumps everything he has into his arms.  His entire upper body shimmers with sweat.  His arms begin to quiver.  With a peaceful smile, Sushil abruptly swings their locked hands outward and presses Jordan’s wrists sharply backward from an underhand position.  It’s Sushil’s height that’s the advantage now. His huge brown biceps bulge as he presses upward. Jordan gasps and rises to his toes again.  Like completing a barbell curl, the Indian powerhouse continues to press upward, lifting the American stud off his feet and making the crowd gasp in astonishment.  A scream of pain from Jordan pierces the hushed stadium.  Sushil lowers the American back to the mat and swings their hands around once again, driving Jordan to his knees and threatening to snap his wrists overhanded.  Absolutely no one could have predicted that the 146 pounder would so completely outmuscle his bigger opponent.

The Indian smoothly steps behind his kneeling opponent, forcing Jordan’s arms crossed high across his chest.  He presses his right knee into the American’s back and pries him backward across his knee. Slowly, Jordan’s arms slide up his chest until his massive biceps are pressed firmly against his throat, constricting the blood flow to his brain.  He flexes and shakes every muscle, struggling to lean to the side and free himself, but Sushil holds his desperate opponent locked up tight.  Jordan’s struggles wane.  His eyes droop. After another 30 seconds, the beefy American’s own bulging biceps have choked him out cold.  Sushil drops his opponent’s slack limbs and rises to his feet, his palms raised overhead accepting the lauds of the appreciative crowd as Jordan drops limply to the mat.

Artur is seriously hungry for victory now!

“Ar-tur! Ar-tur! Ar-tur!” the crowd is chanting long before the Uzbeck muscle beast comes strolling confidently out of the locker room and into the spotlight.  His blue singlet clings to every bulge and curve.  His big balls and beer can cock are beautifully outlined beneath the taut fabric.  Climbing into the ring, the living legend ignores the roaring crowd as he leans back into a corner and awaits the arrival of his opponent.

Sushil’s still smiling

Sushil trots out of the locker room seconds later, once again in his baby blue briefs and nothing else.  Climbing through the ropes, he stands near the corner opposite the imposing Uzbeck.  Sushil’s body is relaxed. His arms hang by his sides loosely.  A gentle smile turns up the corners of his mouth.  When Artur stomps toward him, the Indian muscleman stands unflinching.  They crash together in a collar and elbow tie up.  The difference in size is stunning. Artur is about 3 inches taller and an incredible 120 pounds heavier, every ounce of it layer upon layer of thick muscle.  The bearded Indian, however much smaller, manages to hold his own in the initial moments as the two warriors press against each other.  As the seconds slowly tick away, there’s an unmistakable look of shock on Artur’s face as Sushil actually forces the giant to stutter step backward two quick steps.  The crowd gasps in shock when the Indian actually builds momentum, sending Artur slamming backward into the corner.  Swiftly grabbing the back of his neck with both hands, Sushil rolls backward, dragging Artur down on top of him.  Catching him on the soles of his feet, Sushil monkey flips the massive mountain of muscle over, sending Artur slamming to his back in the middle of the ring.

It’s been years since anyone put the living legend on his back, but Sushil manages it and follows up by straddling the powerful beast’s hips and digging his fingertips into the mountains of muscle that are Artur’s bulging pecs.  The Uzbeck screams and bridges high, thrusting his hips in the air.  Sushil rides him, digging his knees into Artur’s side and leaning forward to rip at the pectoral muscles that much deeper.  Artur suddenly twists to the left, managing to dislodge his smaller opponent and send Sushil dropping to his side.  The two wrestlers swiftly climb to their feet, their eyes locked on each other warily.  As they approach for another collar and elbow tie up, the Uzbeck suddenly rakes his fingertips across Sushil’s eyes, stunning the Indian.  A knee lift to his lower abdomen launches Sushil off his feet and belted backward about a yard.  The veteran champ locks his massive right arm around Sushil’s neck and lunges low, lifting him off his feet and slamming him to his back in a bone rattling snap suplex.  Artur applies a lazy cover, not bothering to hook his opponent’s legs and pinning only Sushil’s right shoulder to the mat as the Uzbeck uses his free hand to pump his fingers over head. “One! … Two!…” The Indian’s other shoulder rolls off the mat and breaks the count.

As Artur climbs off his opponent with disgust and rises to his feet, he manages to squeeze his gargantuan shoulders out of the straps of the singlet and peel the singlet down his torso, leaving his massively muscled, lightly hairy torso bare.  He bends over and grabs his opponent by a fistful of his ebony hair and drags Sushil up to his feet.  A whip into the ropes sends Sushil sprinting, catapulting off the ropes. Artur leans forward, his right arm stretched out to his side for the clothesline.  But rather than sprinting out of control into the trap, Sushil leaps vaulting upward with his right hand planted on the Uzbek’s left shoulder.  His oiled brown legs snap-lock around Artur’s bald head.  The Indian looks like he’s soaring, his arms stretched out to his sides as he hangs in mid-air, held aloft by the flying head scissors clamped onto his opponent.  Artur stumbles backward two steps, but then rights himself, struggling to stay on his feet with his opponent hanging from his head.  Slowly, though, Sushil twists his torso, forcing Artur to bend forward.  The momentum of both of their bodies builds until the Uzbeck flips off his feet.  They crash to the mat, Sushil maintaining the head scissors.

The brief match has already lasted longer than any match Artur has been in over the past 8 years.  Even more astonishing by far, the legendary muscle beast can’t free himself from the head scissors no matter how much he struggles.  His rippled torso bridges high as he tries to pry Sushil’s shiny brown legs apart, but the Indian is having none of it.  In fact, Sushil leans back on one elbow and looks like he’s lounging nonchalantly as he watches his opponent writhe between his powerful thighs.  Artur has experienced nothing like this in his entire career, particularly when he discovers that Sushil has captured his left ankle and pried it backward with one hand, while using his other hand to claw brutally at the Uzbeck’s balls.  Sushil’s baby blue briefs swell as the seconds tick by, his ripped thighs milking the agony out of his opponent in waves of crushing pain.  The head scissors and ball claw combo lasts for minutes, but the mountainous Uzbeck refuses to submit.  When Sushil releases the hold and climbs to his feet, letting Artur go free, the crowd gasps as one in shock.  No one has ever managed to mount such an immobilizing offense against the living legend, much less ever foolishly let him go free once achieving such a commanding advantage.

Artur finds himself in the unaccustomed position of being the one dragged to his feet and flung into the ropes.  He lowers his left shoulder and trusts in his 265 pounds of solid muscle to be the battering ram to level the surprisingly successful Indian.  However, Sushil squats low and smoothly latches his left hand across Artur’s throat.  As Artur dives over him, the Indian presses upward, grabbing Artur’s left thigh with his right hand.  He presses his opponent upward, bringing the crowd to their feet with a roar of amazement as Sushil locks his arms out, holding Artur overhead like a barbell.  His bulging arms quiver briefly, but he steadies himself and slowly turns in the center of the ring, displaying Artur’s humiliation for the entire arena. Almost as eye catching, the head of Sushil’s cock has squeezed upward and out from underneath the waist of his baby blue briefs.  Suddenly he drops to one knee, sending Artur’s lower back crashing across his outstretched thigh.  The Uzbek bounces high off of his opponent’s leg and slams to the mat on his stomach. Sushil smiles easily as he drags his legendeary opponent off of the mat by his chin. Artur is dazed. He throws a flailing punch into the Indian’s rock hard abs, but Sushil barely notices.  Sushil twists sideways as he wraps his arms around the Uzbek’s waist, hoisting Artur off his feet and spinning him until he hangs upside down in Sushil’s crushing embrace. The Indian drops to his knees, driving the top of Artur’s head into the mat.  The Uzbek’s body bounces briefly before he slumps limply to his stomach.  He’s barely moving when Sushil straddles his legs and peels off the Uzbek’s blue singlet, forcibly stripping the muscle beast for the first time in his career.  The Indian giant-killer rolls him to his back, hooks one of the Uzbek’s thickly muscled legs, and  slaps his right hand down to the mat, shouting, “One!” in the perfectly silent arena.  Sushil pauses for several seconds before slapping his palm down again: “Two!”  The once-unstoppable Uzbek groans. His eyes flutter as he tries to pull himself back to clear-headedness.  His jaw hangs open, frustration making his heavy brow furrow as he struggles to kick free.  Sushil waits, watching patiently as Artur digs deep into his last remaining reserves.  The Uzbek grunts, flexing his coiled, incredibly muscled body to break free from his opponent’s control.  Sushil’s jaw clenches, but it’s the only signal that he’s making any effort to hold his mighty opponent’s shoulder to the mat for what has been nearly a minute straight.  “Three!”  The crowd erupts as the Indian gold medalist climbs slowly to his feet and pumps his fists in the air in victory.  His fully erect and impressively long cock stretches well beyond the confines of his briefs.  His body glistens with sweat.  When he bends over and peels his soaked trunks off his legs, the arena seems to shake with excitement.  But when he bends over again and begins to pry the once-unstoppable Uzbek off the mat, an intoxicated silence descends again.  He drags Artur to his knees in the middle of the ring, wrenching the Uzbek’s right arm high up between his shoulder blades while force-feeding the fallen giant his cock.  Artur gags at first, but picks up a rhythm as Sushil drives his hips forward and back methodically, flexing his pale, lightly hairy glutes.  A couple of minutes later, the gold medalist’s face screws up as if in agony.  He uses his free hand to hold Artur’s face pressed tightly against his crotch.  Sweat drips off of both of them. Suddenly Sushil’s jaw drops open silently as he erupts in his vanquished opponent’s throat.  Wave after wave of ecstasy washes over him. Artur begins to choke, and Sushil finally lets him go. The Uzbek coughs out a mouthful of cum even as another torrent shoots from Sushil’s inexhaustible cock, coating the runner-up’s mountainous pecs.  With his arm still locked behind him, Artur can do nothing but watch as his victor lets loose with another three superhuman orgasms over the course of the next three minutes, coating his face and chest.

Gold Medalist: Sushil Kumar!

When Sushil finally lets him go and shakes out the last remaining cum from his hose, the crowd roars back to life.  They’re nearly driven wild with excitement when they watch the gold medalist force the once-mighty Uzbek to crawl naked across the arena floor on his hands and knees back to the locker room.

Jordan refocuses on team gold.
American Ellis Coleman – 5’9″, 132 lbs., 21 y/o

There’s a thirty minute intermission before the lights go down again and the spotlight hits the entrance to the arena from the locker room.  First to jog out is the American team of Jordan Burroughs followed closely by Ellis Coleman. In identical red and blue singlets, the two handsome hunks receive a hearty round of applause as they climb up to the ring apron and claim a corner.

Sushil goes for gold with…
… the living legend and gold medal runner-up, Artur.

The next team to head across the arena floor is led by gold medalist stud Sushil Kumar in tight, pink cotton briefs.  When Sushil’s handpicked tag team partner comes into view a respectful 10 paces behind him, the crowd issues a collective gasp of shock.  Uzbeck powerhouse and once-unbeatable Artur Taymazov jogs across the ring behind the gold medalist, wearing an identical pink cotton brief.  Instantly the team to beat, the pair take up position in the corner opposite the Americans.

French Brother Act, Steeve (5’8″, 146 lbs., 26 y/o) and Christophe (5’10”, 163 lbs., 33 y/o) Guenot 

The third team to come sprinting toward the ring is the French brother act and tag team specialists, Steeve and Christophe Guenot.  In individual competition, these two smoldering hot hunks have enjoyed only modest success, but when they’ve managed to qualify for the tag team tournament, they’ve been absolutely devastating.  The two are reported to be able to communicate telepathically, demonstrating a simpatico born out of doing absolutely everything together, including picking perfectly matched white brief trunks with the French flag stitched across their respective gorgeous asses, already turning transparent with sweat.

Swiss bon-bon Pascal Strebel – 5’9″, 146 lbs., 23 y/o
Finn badboy Jarkko ala-Huikku – 5’5″, 146 lbs., 32 y/o

The final team to reach the ring is making their debut as a tag team in homoerotic wrestling competition.  Their PR people refer to Swiss cover boy Pascal Strebel and Finnish muscle brute, Jarkko ala-Huikku as “Beauty and the Beast.”  Jarkko is only recently back in homoerotic wrestling competition after being banned for a year for assaulting a fan after a particularly humiliating loss in the world championships.  Strebel went down to Burroughs in their qualifying match for the individual tournament, but the Swiss pretty boy has been a near miss for the semi-finals for the past two years of competitions.  As they climb up to their corner, Jarkko is all business, dressed in black square cut trunks and ignoring the crowd. Pascal, on the other hand, is literally blowing kisses as his hardcore fans go nuts trying to charge the ring.  Security hold them back, but Pascal, dressed in a tiny red and white speedo, gives them a wink to let them know he cares.

First up: Artur

Having both finalists comprise a team in the tag team mash up is highly unusual, and so when Artur climbs through the ropes to get the action rolling, the other three teams look at one another, waiting to see who will take up the challenge.  The Uzbek may have just been humiliatingly defeated, but no one is eager to be the next opponent for him to work out his frustrations on.  It’s the Frenchman Christophe who finally steps through the ropes to accept the challenge. His affectionate brother lands a firm slap on Christophe’s ass he stands just inside the ropes, pausing for a moment as he takes in the sight of the huge Uzbek.  Standing on the bottom ropes, Steeve rubs his brother’s shoulders and whispers last-minute coaching advice in his ear as the French brothers stare across the ring at the imposing figure of Artur.

A French homoerotic wrestling machine!

When they approach for a collar and elbow tie up, they press against one another for just a second before Artur lifts Christophe off his feet and sends him flying backward into his own corner.  They approach for another collar and elbow, but Christophe kicks his right foot squarely between the Uzbek’s hairy monster thighs.  Artur drops to his knees, clutching his crotch.  A lightening fast kick to the back of the head drops the muscle beast to his stomach.  The Uzbek is incredibly tough, though, and he climbs up to his hands and knees almost immediately, shaking his head and rubbing his crotch.  His opponent, however, has already tagged in his brother.  From behind, Christophe lifts Steeve in a reverse bearhug.  Wordlessly, he lunges low and then lifts his brother off his feet, arching his back and rolling Steeve’s lower back up to his collar bone as if to deliver an atomic drop.  With perfect precision, Steeve straightens his legs as his brother drives him downward, his right leg crashing viciously into the back of the Uzbek’s neck.  Artur crashes down flat on his stomach, both hands clutching the back of his head.

Steeve’s turn at the Uzbek beast

As Christophe climbs out of the ring, his brother hops back to his feet and drops a knee into the back of Artur’s head. The Uzbek muscleman is barely moving, giving the French brothers plenty of time to tag back in Christophe, who, with is brother’s help, manhandles the former juggernaut into a neck-wrenching camel clutch just inches from the French corner.  Sushil watches impassively as his partner is brutalized until Steeve, outside the ropes again, pulls backward on his brother’s shoulders to add that much more pressure per pound to the brutal hold.  When the gold medalist steps one foot through the ring threatening to break up the double team, Steeve lets go and quickly tags back into the action. The brothers completely decimate Artur with a non-stop barrage of blows and back breaking holds peppered between a flurry of tags that leave the crowd dizzy trying to keep up with which hunky brother is the legal man in the ring.  They keep the Uzbek deep in their own territory.  Stomps followed by a boston crab followed by elbow drops followed by a surfboard… Artur’s already beaten body is picked apart like a turkey dinner.  The single-leg crab and ball claw by Steeve is the hold that finally makes the muscleman scream, “GIIIVE!”  By the time Sushil is through the ropes, Christophe is tagged back in fresh and ready to keep their game plan on track.

When Sushil and Christophe lock up in a collar and elbow, astonishingly the Frenchman manages to overpower the gold medalist.  The gold medalist’s superhhuman strength seems to have evaporated, as Christophe seems to effortlessly shove him across the ring and backed into the American corner.  Christophe tags in an eager Jordan.  Ellis traps Sushil into the corner, reaching over the ropes with a forearm across his throat, leaving him open for Jordan to pound the living shit out of the gold medalist’s abs.  No one seems eager to come to the gold medalist’s aid when Ellis drops down to the mat and yanks Sushil’s feet out from underneath him.  Dragging him on his stomach backward by his ankles, Ellis rams the gold medalist’s balls into the ring post while Jordan stomps on the back of his head.  It takes just a few minutes before Sushil is choked unconscious, counted out, and dumped out of the ring next to his partner.

Jarkko enters the fray

Jarkko takes up the challenge to face Jordan next.  The Finnish hunk’s pecs bounce excitedly as they circle.  As they approach, Jarkko abruptly drives his right knee into the American’s lower abs.  Jordan doubles over, then quickly finds his head locked tightly against the Finn’s ribs.  A snap suplex pounds Jordan’s lower back to the mat. Jarkko’s focus is ferocious as he instantly drags the American back to his feet and lands another breathtaking snap suplex.  A third suplex makes Jordan bridge high in agony, leaving him open for a vicious fist pounding into this crotch.  Ellis strains to tag his partner, but they’re miles apart and Jordan is seeing stars.  Pascal pleads with his partner for the tag, and reluctantly Jarkko complies.

Pascal climbs to the top turnbuckle, takes careful aim, and soars through the air to land belly to belly on the bashed American stud.  His fans swoon and cheer as the Swiss hunk climbs up to one knee and flexes his biceps, flashing his heartmelting smile for the crowd.  Jarkko barks angrily at his partner to stay on the offense, but Pascal takes his time to wave at the fans all around the ring as he climbs back up to the top turnbuckle, takes aim, and launches himself in the air for another splash down.  Jordan manages to pull his knees up to his chest just in time, and Pascal lands hard across the American’s shins before being kicked halfway across the ring.  It’s a race as Pascal struggles to breathe and get his bearings while Jordan crawls on his elbows, dragging himself inch by inch toward his corner.

Christophe’s OTK backbreaker position

Jordan manages to tag in Ellis a second before Pascal tags in Steeve from the French corner.  The American charges directly into the Frenchman, lifting him off his feet and driving his back into the French corner.  The pounding knocks the air out of Steeve’s lungs, but he has presence of mind to tag in his brother and then wrap up Ellis in his arms.  Ellis struggles to disentangle himself, but Christophe’s fist into his back stuns the young American.  As Steeve ducks through the ropes to the ring apron to catch his breath, Christophe scoops up Ellis and drops to one knee, driving the lean American’s lower back hard across his thigh.  A ball claw makes Ellis scream.  Across the ring, Jordan shouts encouragement, but Ellis’ wailing only grows more desperate.  Positioned, as always, close to his own corner, Christophe tags in Steeve while keeping Ellis pinned helplessly in the over the knee backbreaker.  Steeve climbs to the top turnbuckle and then drops, driving his left knee down across the American’s throat.  Ellis’ screams abruptly go silent as he flips backward off Christophe’s thigh and crashes to the mat, curling in the fetal position and clutching his throat.  Steeve rolls him up into a small package, pinning his shoulders to the mat.  The American struggles to kick free, but the Frenchman slaps down a decisive 3-count pinfall.  

Ellis crawls from the ring as Jordan climbs through the ropes.  Savvy to the French tactics, he stays clear of the French corner and paces back and forth, challenging Steeve to meet him in the middle of the ring. The Frenchman circles the ring cautiously.  The moment he comes within reach, Jordan lunges to his right knee and sweeps his opponent’s left foot off the mat.  As Steeve slams to his back, Jordan rises, lifting the Frenchman’s ankles before swiftly stomping his left heel into the Frenchman’s balls. While Steeve reels from the low blow, Jordan drags him to his feet and hoists him up into a torture rack. He pries at the Frenchman’s back, but even after a couple of minutes of parading him around the ring, Steeve refuses to submit.  Winded and frustrated, Jordan dumps him and tags in Pascal.

The Swiss heartthrob wants a piece…
of the action.

The  Swiss hunk acknowledges the roar of his fans with a wave, but he maintains focus on exploiting the handsome Frenchman.  Stomps and knee drops batter Steeve’s body.  Dragged up to his feet, Steeve finds his arms tied into the ropes, entirely out of reach of his brother.  Pascal pummels his vulnerable core. An insulting slap across the face brings the bashed Frenchman back into focus.  He glares furiously at his tormentor, but he’s helpless to prevent the Swiss heartthrob from stripping his trunks off of him. Jarkko is roaring furiously at his partner as Pascal pauses from dishing out punishment to appreciate the Frenchman’s naked body.  His own tiny trunks are packed to capacity as he strokes Steeve’s smooth, sweaty torso and fondles his cock and balls swinging between his legs.  His fans are screaming for him to fuck the captured hunk.  Prying Steeve’s head backward by his chin, Pascal plants his mouth over his opponents, kissing him deeply while massaging the Frenchman’s balls.

It’s too much for Christophe to stand.  He dives through the ropes to rescue his brother, but he’s intercepted halfway across the ring by Jarkko.  They lock up, but Jarkko stuns the Frenchman with a rake across the eyes.  He shoves Christophe in to the ropes, scoops him up in his arms and slams him to his back.  The Finn drives his knee down toward his opponent’s face but crashes into the mat instead when the Frenchman rolls away at the last moment.  Jarkko falls on his side, clutching his knee, but the musclebound badboy is quickly rolled to his back and locked tightly into a figure-4 leg lock targeting his injured knee.  The Frenchman flexes his legs, making his opponent rise up to a seated position and scream in pain.  Christophe roars ferociously back in his face.  Something snaps in the Finn’s knee, and tears stream down his face as he wails his submission.

The Guenot brothers huddle

Pascal has just peeled his tiny speedo down his thighs, rubbing the head of his cock across the sweat soaked pecs of the Frenchman trapped in the ropes, when Christophe wraps is arms around him from behind and slams his back to the mat with a stunning suplex. Christophe quickly turns his attention to freeing his brother from the ropes, lowering him gently to his knees as Steeve assures him he’s okay.  Christophe embraces his brother consolingly.  The embrace becomes a joyful kiss on the cheek. The kiss on the cheek becomes a full-on, lingering lip lock.  The rescue celebration is short-lived as Christophe quickly turns his attention to his little brother’s tormentor.  Pascal has managed to make it to his hands and knees when the Frenchman stands over him threateningly. The Swiss coverboy shuffles backward on his knees, his ankles tied together with his trunks still hanging from them, backing away from his approaching opponent.  He raises his palms toward Christophe, begging for mercy. “Please, please, please…” he mutters, shaking his head pleadingly.

Christophe stands over him, fists clenched, fury rising, when Jordan’s forearm drives into the Frenchman’s lower back.  Christophe drops to one knee, his right hand reaching behind him.  The American captures his wrist and pries it high up between his shoulder blades, forcing Christophe back to his feet.  Jordan barks at Pascal to finish off Steeve as he forces Christophe across the ring.  He slams the handsome Frenchman’s face into the top turnbuckle repeatedly until Christophe drops weakly to his knees, dazed and disoriented.  Jordan drags him up by his hair, spins him around, and lifts Christophe’s legs, one at a time, lacing them over the middle ring ropes on either side of the turnbuckle. The Frenchman sags limply, his hairy pecs glistening with sweat, his head hanging down.  The American pounds his opponent’s vulnerable crotch with kicks and knees, pausing for just a moment to yank the waist of Christophe’s speedo down to allow his bruised cock and balls to spill out.

Pascal mugs for the fans

While Jordan has been dismantling one brother, Pascal has turned his attention back to the other.  When the Swiss heartthrob kicks his trunks the rest of the way off his long legs, his loyal fan base swoon.  He blows them kisses as he gives his meat an excited tug on his way toward Steeve.  Steeve has managed to pull himself up to his feet, leaning heavily in the ropes as he struggles to rally.  Pascal claws the Frenchman’s naked balls and presses him backward until his shoulders are hanging over the top rope.  Once again, the Swiss coverboy’s fans adamantly cry for him to fuck his battered prey, and again the suggestion seems to intoxicate him.  He releases the ball claw in order to stroke his own meat, which quickly swells impressively in his hand.  He slams two hard forearms into Steeve’s chest to soften him up some more before climbing up onto the bottom ring rope, straddling his opponent, grinding his cock across the expanse of the Frenchman’s smooth pecs.  He leans forward, sliding his cock, dribbling precum, up the crevice between Steeve’s pecs, slowly inching his crotch toward his opponent’s face.  Suddenly, Steeve wraps his arms around his opponent’s waist in a bearhug, lifting him in the air and then driving him to his back.  The Frenchman lands on top of him, crushing the Swiss hunk’s erect cock between their bodies.  As Pascal writhes in agony, Steeve has time to gather his strength, climb to his feet while lifting his opponent’s ankles in the air, and carefully place his right foot across Pascal’s crotch.  The ball of his foot crushes Pascal’s swollen cock head while his heel grinds the Swiss hunk’s shaved balls into the mat.  The Swiss pretty boy screams after only a few seconds, “SUBMIT! SUBMIT! SUBMIT!”

The French Brother Act are back on their game

Few men could hold their own against the expert double team of the Guenot brothers, but Jordan stays tough.  Both Frenchman have been sorely battered and are approaching exhaustion. Christophe hangs limply in the corner, his bashed cock and balls hanging out of his trunks, as Jordan muscles Steeve away, shoving him into the opposite corner.  Flinging him out of the corner, the American sends Steeve crashing into his brother, followed by Jordan driving them both into the turnbuckle with a flying shoulder into Steeve’s lower abdomen.  The American focuses on the freshest Frenchman in the ring, driving Steeve to the mat over and over with body slams, power slams, and a series of spine numbing suplexes.

Steeve naked and in trouble

The sight of his brother naked and being pummeled across every inch of the ring infuses Christophe with another burst of adrenaline.  Jordan is too focused on Steeve to notice when the other brother disentangles his legs from the ropes and kneels in the corner, panting heavily, coated in sweat, and shoving his cock and balls back inside his pouch.  Jordan finally catches sight of the other brother approaching in time to block a forearm blow to the head, but he can’t simultaneously protect himself from the brutal uppercut to his balls from Steeve, kneeling behind him.  Once they’ve winded their last remaining competition, the French brother act is a machine.  Christophe shoves the stunned American backward as Steeve drops to his hands and knees to topple the muscled American awkwardly to his back.  Each brother grabs an ankle and uses the American like a wishbone, falling backward to the mat and ripping him apart at the crotch.  Jordan writhes in agony as the brothers begin a barrage of leg drops across his throat and chest, one brother pounding down on him as the next is hopping back to his feet and preparing for the next leg drop.  Blow after blow, Jordan’s fight evaporates.  He barely tries to defend himself when Steeve peels the his singlet off his legs and tosses it to his brother who straddles Jordan’s upperback and uses the singlet to pry his neck off the mat and choke the American in a camel clutch variation.  Steeve folds Jordan’s lower legs over each other and captures the American’s ankles against his crotch as he gently pulls backward on his brother’s strong shoulders, adding pressure to the choking camel clutch sealing off the American’s windpipe.  It takes less than a minute for Jordan to be out cold, limply hanging in the Frenchman’s double team hold. The brothers lay him out on his back, Steeve pinning the American’s shoulders beneath his knees, facing his brother straddling Jordan’s waist.  They embrace, kissing one another passionately between counts as they simultaneously slap the mat. “ONE!” they slap, then again begin making out for several seconds.  They pause to slap the mat again, “TWO!,” before locking lips once more.  “THREE!” they declare the victory, as Christophe enthusiastically tackles his brother to his back, embracing the naked hunk and cradling his head in his hands as they celebrate the gold, tongues wrestling in victory.

Steeve grabs victory (and his brother) by the balls!
Christophe celebrates how close the competition has brought him to his brother.

The Frenchmen taste gold!

Right This Moment!!!!

Over the past three and a half years, I’m proud to say that neverland has been fortunate to be able to bestow the title of “friend of the blog” upon several worthy men.  Many of them include some of my very favorite homoerotic wrestlers who’ve given us a wink and a nod by sharing a comment, a candid pic, and even more than a handful of interviews.  So when word started coming my way from friends of the blog that there were about to be some exciting happenings in Pembroke this weekend, I got that warm feeling that comes from appreciating good friends (and, oh yeah, anticipating hot, blood-pumping homoerotic wrestling!).
Sexy rookie and friend-of-the-blog Ben Monaco
Ben Monaco was first to give me a heads up that he had a plane ticket in hand, bound for Boston and some muscle pumping BG East wrestling shoots. Quoted here, with permission:

“I’ll be heading down to the Pembroke location for the first time in about 2 weeks! I’m really excited! It’s like a visiting a holy-land 😛  I’ll be down there with what promises to be about a dozen guys, a mix of old and new faces. Some names swirling around for that weekend include Christian Taylor, Skip Vance, Lon Dumont and Gabriel Ross among others. Rest assured that upon my return, I’ll have plenty of tales to tell and stories to share. Expect to see great matches from myself and all the other guys down there!”

Skip and Christian practice for tag-team competition!

And sure enough, within a day or two Skip Vance confirmed on his Facebook page that both he and his real-life lover (and former homoerotic wrestler of the month), Christian Taylor, were booked for a trip to BG East to film some matches.  Even more titillating and grist for many a wet dream, Skip had advertised a few weeks earlier looking for a tag team willing to face Christian and him together! I’ve been pleading for this very scenario for months now! Knowing that Skip and Christian are partners would add that much more fantastically sexy drama to a tag team match. Seriously, I almost offered a financial reward to any real-life lovers who would accept the challenge to face them! I might still be willing to! Skip promised me that he’d share some details after the weekend is over, and I’m desperately hoping to hear that he and Christian climbed into the ring together to face off against another pair of hot and horny-for-each-other hunks for a sweaty, bulging, preferably rip and strip match to a load blowing finish!

Then late last night I got this pic and this message from Kid Karisma:

Pumped and primed to do some damage: friend-of-the-blog Kid Karisma

“Heading to Boston to do some damage for the weekend!!!”

Yes, indeed, in addition to the line-up rumored by Ben Monaco, add to that list my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler and dizzyingly sexy party boy/muscle dominator: Kid Karisma!!!  I offered some completely unsolicited armchair advice to the karismatic-one about choices of gear and my suggestion that his monster quads and legendary glutes never look better than when he’s applying a standing leg scissors.  In response, Kid K pointed out that his legs are bigger than ever as a result of being in the middle of his rugby season and simultaneously training for a half Iron Man! Let’s just recap: Kid Karisma’s pride-and-joy legs are bigger than ever as he, at this very moment, his hammering down on some insanely lucky son of a bitch at the BG East compound!!? Like Skip and Ben, Kid K swore to give me what details the back office boys at BG East would allow once he’s back from Boston. I’m also lobbying to see those larger-than-ever quads of his. Stay tuned.

Stone-cold tease and friend-of-the-blog Lon Dumont

Finally, I reached out to long-time friend of the blog and perennial top-tier elite favorite homoerotic wrestler of mine, Lon Dumont, to verify whether there was any chance that he was, as rumored, on the ticket for action in Pembroke.  Cagey as always and a stone-cold sexy tease, Lon replied:

“Why yes, there is that chance!”

So once again, let me just recap, because I can hardly believe how hot this news is: at the very moment I write this, assembled at the BG East compound are, among many others, Ben Monaco, dripping in pools of sweat and hopefully laying a lucky opponent out in an aroused stupor with his devastingly hot lip-lock; Skip Vance and Christian Taylor who may (or may not) be about to appear in their first lovers tag team match (and if there is a homoerotic wrestling god, they’ll be facing another pair of sexed up lovers!); Kid Karisma flexing his larger-than-ever quads around the skull of some ridiculously lucky son of a bitch; and Lon Dumont who, I happen to know, is essentially moments away from entering the bodybuilding contest season and looking bigger and more ripped than ever in his life, and now showing up to blow apart some new opponents.  I couldn’t make up a hotter scenario.  I’d give my let nut to be a fly on the wall in Pembroke at this very moment! I’d at least give my undying loyalty and affection to see some behind-the-scenes shots of this incredibly intoxicating collection of fantasy men who have inspired countless hours of erotic entertainment and a parade of gasping orgasms punctuating a life of total devotion to homoerotic wrestling! There’s a reason Ben and I both consider the BG East compound the holy land.  That many homoerotic wrestling gods assembled in one place is nothing short of heaven!

Gabriel Ross: Let’s be friends!

And finally, don’t think I didn’t note the inclusion of reader’s choice winner for sexiest Brit on the BG East roster, Gabriel Ross, in the rumored roster pounding flesh in Pembroke this weekend!  The Boss promised (check out the comments section here) that the angelic little devil, Gabriel, was slated to cross the pond and face some of the domestic brewed hotness that BG East serves so well, including one of our (and specifically MY!) favorites!  I’m incredibly excited to find out if the pint-sized (but monster-dicked) babyface sado-masochist will be appearing in a new release soon, and who gets the lucky assignment to show him some hands-on Yankee hospitality!