Tag: Chace LaChance

Primus

wrestlebard4 Comments
When Eli Black powered into the title of my homoerotic wrestler of the month on the strength of his appearance last month for Rock Hard Wrestling, followed quickly by his debut match release for BG East, I decided to see if I could track him down for a follow-up interview to his barnburner verbal fencing match (or brawl) with Joe at Ringside at Skull Island. Despite his stated reluctance to grant me this interview, Eli actually seemed pretty open to the idea from the start, and let’s face it, Eli Black loves to talk about Eli Black! Since everything was going my way for this little project, I decided to press my luck and approach the boys at BG East to see if they had any cutting room floor shots of Eli’s match with Morgan Cruise. To my shocked delight, in what I think might be a first ever pre-release of shots from as yet unseen BG East matches, Kid Leopard himself sent me some exclusive, never before published photos of Eli in three yet to be released bouts, with permission to share them here! I get the impression that BG East is thrilled to have this ferociously ambitious tiger by the tail. He kept me on my toes during this interview. He makes some extremely bold predictions for his future success in homoerotic wrestling. And combined with seeing the punishment he can dish out and take, my conversation with Eli has made me that much more infatuated with this fierce, rock hard, seriously dangerous hottie!
———-
Eli Black – ripped, roaring and ready to conquer the world!

Bard: Thanks for agreeing to talk with me, Eli. I read your interview with Joe over at his blog Ringside at Skull Island and I was feeling a little intimidated. Your conversation with Joe seemed to get a little testy. Are you and he still on speaking terms?

Eli: I’ll be honest, I didn’t want to take this interview, but as far as speaking terms, you’ll see if he ever writes anything bad on me again.

Bard: Well, I’m that much more grateful that you did take this interview! I just watched your debut match with BG East against big bruiser Morgan Cruise. Holy shit, Eli! Your body is ripped to shreds! What’s the secret of staying at that level of conditioning?

Eli competes in MMA as well as as his sights
set on RHW and BGE!

Eli: Ugh!! Morgan Cruise, the hamasta pussy. Let me just say first of all that whole match was bull shit! Cheap shots left and right. I can’t wait till I see him again. Oh my God I… hate!!!… losing!!!! He’s got it coming. But I work hard on my body, with various circuit work outs from speed to power to stimulate my muscle, to be primed and ready to take beatings in case I end up taking a b.s. beating like this match was. My recovery that way is rapid and gets me back in the ring ready for more, unlike the rest of the out of shape pussies who are cheap pieces of shit.

Bard: Well your fitness is incredible, and the work you’re doing in the gym is phenomenal to see in the ring! So speaking of your match with Morgan, it certainly looks to me like you’re toying with the big kid in the opening moments. He’s flat-footed, slow, and I get the impression that you could put him on his back in a split second. With your MMA background, do you find it hard not to open up a can of full-contact whoop-ass in the world of pro wrestling?

Eli: [laughing] Yeah, I definitely can’t help myself but go. Whether I’m toying with someone or in a grudge match, I’m really good at finding a weakness in my opponents. And in Morgan’s case I could kick and strike him all day long, but once he speared me, he caught me way off guard, which was unusual for me. But I’m more than positive when it’s me and him again, he’s done! But yeah, I definitely toyed with him in the beginning. I mean there’s no one out there with my skills, so why be scared?

The Mastodon drives Eli into the
corner

Bard: I have no trouble believing that for an instant! I’ve noticed that Morgan has been calling himself “The Mastodon” in his bid to be the next big, bad heel at BG East. Other than him being hairy and, compared with you, slow, I’m not really sure his nickname really says a lot about him. Now that you’ve seen him up close, what nickname would you pick for him?

Eli: Like I said earlier, “masta pussy!” Even so, I wouldn’t even say that he’s huge! He’s not insanely strong. He’s nothing special. I am just gonna say “No Name,” because I don’t have time to waste on giving that cheap ass a nickname. Next time I see his ugly ass, I’ll make sure to cover his face up with his own underwear, with a sign on his back sayin, “Eli Black: I don’t want that!,” because of how horribly I’m going to destroy him! Other than that, his nickname is just plain stupid, and if I were his reflection in the mirror I’d laugh in his face!

Bard: I know a whole army of your fans who would line up to see you do all of that! What’s a good nickname that your fans should call you?

Eli: Hmmm, I like to think I “shutt” down my opponents, so it’s only fair to say Eli “the Shutdown” Black. What ya think about that? Amazing? Yeah, I know. I can be known as that too!

Bard: Both options sound excellent to me! So Eli “the Shutdown” Black, I hope you don’t mind if I ask another question about your body, because it’s quite a favorite topic of mine lately. With a body as amazing as yours, I can imagine it might be hard to decide, but what part of your body are you proudest of?

Eli: Hmmm, well in my other interview I did have a similar question, and since then, other than me getting even tighter and harder than before, it’s still an out of the park easy answer: my picture perfected 8-pack (sculpted by the gods themselves), and my ass that will make anyone stop and double-take more than once. And once again, I give it all to God for giving me this cement block for me to be sculpted the way I am.

Bard: Your 8-pack and your ass top my list of favorite parts of your body as well! I’m also a big fan of body art, so I love your tats. The colorful tat down your ribcage quickly caught my eye. It looks fierce, but I can’t make out what it says. Any special significance to that or any of your other tats?

Number one, the highest ranking, aka the best

Eli: Well, the one on my ribs says “primus,” meaning number one, or the highest ranking, aka the best. The one on my thigh is the outline of the best wrestling state in the world, PA. And the one behind my arm says faith, but if you look closer you’ll see behind it in red is a Chinese reading of the saying “blood, sweat, and tears,” representing what I do and believe in. And on my back, you have my Pitt panther.

Bard: Awesome art, and very cool to see how each piece speaks to your passions and strengths. I think “Primus” could easily be another excellent nickname for you. So when I mentioned to Kid Leopard at BG East that you’d agreed to do this interview, he graciously sent me some exclusive, advanced preview pics of a few matches that you’ve wrestled for BG East that have yet to be released. First, let me say that you look incredible in every shot! Second, I’m immediately drawn to the evidence that BG East gave you a second shot at evening the score with Jake Jenkins after he defeated you over at RHW. What was it like facing Jake for the second time?

In a cage, in the ring, on the mat… Eli “Primus” Black is a triple threat!

Eli: Hmm, I guess Primus would be a good one. You can take credit for that and start it for me, why don’t ya? And yeah, Kid Lep is probably one of the only straight forward wrestlers I’ve met so far. But yes, for all my fans, I got another crack at Jake, and when I say it was once again a match of the year, I left no room for disappointment. You’ll all be out your seats when you see how I do this time around! You ask anyone at BG. I fought everyone to get that rematch with li’l Jake. He tried to get out of the rematch, but like I said, only if you’re lucky! And I mean if you’re lucky enough to beat me, you’ll regret it, because I will get you again, and when you see this match when it’s released you’ll see what I do the 2nd time around.

Down to jocks, Eli is determined to exact revenge
all over Jake’s hot muscled body.
Bard: Cannot wait! The shots Kid Leopard sent look like you’re on the mats, and you start in singlets, but at some point you’re both down to jock straps. Good God, man, that’s a hot set-up!
That ass will command a double-take any day!

Eli: Yeah, he was scared to step in the ring with me again, so I said, “Hey, you have a wrestling back ground like me (just not as successful [laughing]), so let’s get on the mats. While we’re out there, I guess he thought he had a better body than me, and decided to take his singlet down, and I instantly complied by pulling mine down. I’ll wrestle naked, just like they did it in the beginning of wrestling in the Greek times.

Eli’s got the noose tightening around Jake’s neck!

Bard: Pure gold, Primus! And it’s further evidence of what you’ve said about your divinely blessed ass! I cannot wait for that release! I also see that you faced off against a couple of the up-and-coming resident pretty boys of BG East. Attila Dynasty has been squeezing the will to fight out of his opponents between those surprisingly devastating legs of his. Any lasting memories of Attila that you have?

Eli’s got something in mind if Attila ever tries this again!
Eli has Attila all tied up.

Eli: Honestly that whole match is a blur, but if that little pussy Attila ever tries to put my face remotely close to his ass again, I will shove my elbow deep in it next time. Then I’ll jump in the middle of one of his matches and beat the shit out them both, and then shove whoever else was in the ring’s hand up his ass!!!!!

Bard: Personally, I’d love to see some serious shit get thrown down at BG East! First, I’ll send you $10 for elbowing Attila up the ass, and second, I’ll send you another $10 for interfering with his next match to fuck him up some more! Damn, I doubt BG East has any idea quite yet just how high you’re ready to climb!

Eli: I will say that BG East is definitely a whole different world of pro wrestling. Full of cheap ass cheaters and pussies who can only win by taking the easy way out with dirty tricks.  Rock Hard is a little more straightforward, less low blows and dirty shit, and they actually like to battle it out to be a true champion. But I’m not going to make excuses. I will overcome it all and be the champ for all wrestling, and I will go in the history books as the best, because I am the best! I train the best. I will beat the best, and I will show every one how to be the best, and what it takes to be…. Eli……… Black!!!

Bard: Hot damn, Eli! You’ve got me convinced and bursting with anticipation of seeing your master plan play out!  Your take on the differences between RHW and BGE is fascinating. I think I remember from your interview with Joe that you didn’t have a very high estimation of the scene at Rock Hard, either. Both venues have dealt you some hard knocks, but it sounds like you see the need for different strategies to accomplish your goal of conquering them both.

Eli: Yeah, Rock Hard has a bunch of two-faced snobs, but they’re not as dirty as the BG East pussies are. But yes, I will conquer it all, and I’m going to drag every one of my opponents behind me with a noose tied around their necks!

Pretty Chace LaChance does some
chiropractic work on Eli

Bard: Well, no one can say that they weren’t warned about you! I noticed there’s a shot of you wrestling Chace LaChance. I think Chace is probably the most ridiculously pretty wrestler you’ve faced. He’s talked some trash about being a boxer, but I just can’t believe a pretty face like his has ever seriously boxed. Please tell me that you left him significantly less pretty after your ring match!

Eli: No comment on him, but he was nothing that would make me think he ever boxed! Threw a punch at a pillow!!! And I would say he’s not gonna be so pretty on your scale when you see him after this match, regardless of the outcome.

Bard: I’ll take that as a promise, and again, I can’t wait to see that match! So despite having faced a whole lot of guys who did not impress you, if you had to pick one of your former opponents as a tag team partner, who would you pick?

Eli: As much as I hate to say it (and you need to understand I HATE it!), it would have to be Jake Jenkins, only because we both are similar in the way we make shit look good. We both do the work, and he’d be the only one I’d give any type of credit to.

Bard: I can’t say enthusiastically enough how I can certainly see how you and Jake make shit look good! I also have to think that the two of you would be a buzz saw through the unlucky ranks of RHW or BG East. So, you’ve been generous with squeezing this interview in, and I really appreciate it. Before I let you go, I’m wondering if you can talk a bit about what it’s like for you to have a growing group of seriously loyal fans who are tearing up the discussion boards singing your praises. You’ve made a huge impression on a lot of us fans in a pretty short time on the scene!

Eli Black makes shit look good!

Eli: I will say, and this will be the nicest thing you’ll ever here me say, that I love my fans. Believe it or not, as long as you like hardcore matches with great footage and moves and me doing what I do, I will always perform! Don’t doubt it. Keep talking me up. It makes me just wanna push harder!!!! And I have no limits!!!

Bard: That’s a challenge that I and a whole bunch of Eli “Primus” Black fans will be happy to accept! Win, lose or draw, there are a bunch of us crazy for more, and I suspect once we see that jockstrap match with Jake, you’re going to be getting more buzz than you can imagine! We’ll be happy to keep doing our part, as long as you’re keeping up your hot work and working that gorgeous ass of yours! Thanks so much for your time, and I hope we can talk again as you keep tearing up the wrestling scene!

Eli: Thank you. It was a better time than the last one. Just look forward to seeing me push harder and harder! I will never let you down.

Bard: Awesome!

The Return of the King

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Young, rookie Brad Rochelle pumped and ready for business
Kid Leopard promised me this summer when I visited the BG East compound that we haven’t seen the last of legendary BG East babyface, Brad Rochelle. Like so many other homoerotic wrestling fans, I was thrilled by this news. The instant I saw Brad as the cover boy on the front page of the BG East website about 13 years ago or so I was sold.  Such a handsome face; such a gorgeous, hard body! Just that one cover image of Brad made him an instant star of countless homoerotic wrestling fantasies.  So when I actually got my hands on my first glimpse of him working all those mouth-watering muscles in the ring, he was already cemented as a homoerotic wrestling fantasy man. Watching his matches over the following years has never disappointed me. His body, like his wrestling persona, matured, which as far as I’m concerned is only good news. After a few early career victories, he was stuck deeply in the rut of jobberdom as The Boss bound his hands behind his back to be everyone’s practice dummy in The Contract series. The endless humiliation and vicious abuse of his body and spirit finally made the babyface break, and all those nasty dirty tricks and vile exploitation he’d suffered over the years came back to haunt newbie babyface after newbie babyface. About 3 years ago BG East released a tag team match that they found in their archives from Brad’s earlier work, but the last we saw of the Brad storyline was his 2006 appearance in his signature series, The Contract, enlisting a reluctant Jonny Firestorm to join him in teaching Patrick Donovan and Steven Thomas a lesson they won’t soon forget.
Then Brad seemingly disappeared. His fan group has continued to pine away, but as the years ticked by with no sight of him, even the most diehard Brad fanatics began to despair.  The Boss dropped hints in the BG East fan group from time to time, assuring everyone that Brad was still around and would someday see the light of day again, but after 5 years, longing mentions of Brad on the boards tend to spark sneering slap downs from commenters who’ve grown convinced that he’s officially retired. My report of The Boss’ promise that we’d see Brad again notwithstanding, the ranks of believers have grown thin lately. And then, like a vision from beyond the veil, The Boss posted 6 picture proofs that Brad’s days in the ring and on the mats are undeniably not over!
Brad Rochelle, still wrestling and filling out his trunks exceedingly well!

Counting myself among the Brad fanatics of this world, I had a delightful exchange with Kid Leopard this past weekend that resulted in The Boss granting me the opportunity post a few more exclusive, as-yet unseen photos from Brad’s return. These pics seen here, along with the pics from the fan groups, assure me that my erotic dreams will once again be haunted by fresh images of Brad Rochelle inspiration. Prior to this, fans have debated what time might have done to this fantasyman. While not identical to his rookie body of 13 years ago (who is!?), I’m thrilled to see that he’s stayed in shape and, if anything, is filling out his awesomely tight trunks possibly better than ever. That ass!

Brad cracks Chace LaChance across his knee.

For years, the legions of hopefuls have been speculating about who Brad ought to meet in his momentous return. More exclusive pics show further detail of Brad’s impending appearance against some of the prettiest babyfaces to arrive on the scene since last we saw Brad. Go-go boy bombshell Chace LaChance has never looked better than stretched vulnerably across Brad’s leg in a luscious over-the-knee backbreaker!

Attila Dynasty winces (and bulges) in the grasp of the veteran.

Acrobatic prettyboy Attila Dynasty gets the same treatment. Brad looks to me like he’s carving up a Thanksgiving turkey with Attila’s astonishing package bulging temptingly in Brad’s face. Both Chace and Attila are at that crucial early career pivot point. They’ve both lost humiliatingly. They’ve both most recently chalked up some very entertaining victories. Not unlike an early career Brad, they look primed to either become forces to be reckoned with in the BG East stable, or to join the ranks of epic jobbers, of which perhaps no one is more epic than Brad himself.  Brad appears to have returned to tip the scales toward jobberdom for pretty Chace and Attila!

Babyface teamwork comes back to bite Brad in the butt.

Chace and Attila, on the other hand, appear none too eager to roll over submissively and let the icon put them in their place. The lovely young bucks clearly don’t go easy on the legend.  Opponents have been torturing Brad’s beautiful back for more than a decade, and Chace and Attila look determined to bend the veteran hunk past the point of no return and cut short his much anticipated return before it really starts.

Brad is living large and in charge, flexing overtop of 2 defeated prettyboys.

I can’t attest to the sequence of the photos, but whether earlier or later in the confrontation, at some point Brad has bested both beautiful boys and stacked them like firewood on top of one another in the middle of the ring as he flexes overtop of them. Perhaps Brad proves, once again, that he’s worth more than two babyface rookies who might have visions of filling his shoes as the resident BG East babyface heart throb?

Brad’s 1-finger salute to the doubters and haters

The time away has done nothing to make Brad’s body less tantalizing, nor his attitude less contemptuous. The Boss sent me this pic of Brad flipping a middle finger to all the doubters and haters out there who tried to rewrite history with him as anything short of the headliner muscle jock that made countless fans weak at the knees. The wrestling singlet is doing wonders for me here.  Those are eye-catching bulges (the biceps, the shoulders, the pecs, the crotch…)!

Is that a floppy-haired Denny Cartier schooling veteran Brad in mat wrestling!?

Brad’s opponent on the mat appears to me to be another welcome return to BG East, namely former homoerotic wrestler of the month and babyface star of many wrestling fantasies of mine, Denny Cartier.  If it is Denny, he’s let his hair grow out, which we know is indeed a sexy, curly mop. He’s also sporting hot, hairy legs that look like they could snap Brad’s spine in half, so yep, I think it’s Denny! Brad’s got a ton of experience to draw from, but facing Denny in his bread-and-butter setting on the BG East mats seems to me like a formula for Brad to discover that even though fans may be falling over themselves to celebrate his return, there’s some merciless competition at BG East that would probably like nothing more than to send Brad back to the ranks of eternal jobbers. Come to think of it, there are probably a whole lot of those eager fans who’d like that, as well!

Cameraman Jonny Firestorm appears to make his presence known
during Brad’s much-lauded return to the ring (this photo also posted
at BG East Yahoo Group)

So what have we learned, my friends? We’ve learned that beautiful Brad Rochelle, indeed, has made a return to face some of the prettiest new faces in the ring and most dangerous mat wrestlers that BG East has to offer. We’ve also learned that Brad continues to be smokin’ hot, gorgeous as hell, and while some of his famous muscles may be a little smaller, I swear to God his ass and crotch have grown and grown finer with age. I can only imagine the story lines that take Brad on a journey into the ring with Chace LaChance, Attila Dynasty and Jonny Firestorm, and onto the mat with dangerous Denny Cartier. But another thing that we know: it isn’t just my imagination. This is no Elvis sighting. Brad is back, and I can’t wait (though it seems I’ll have to) to get to see Brad work his magic on the boys that have come along since.

Thanks Kid Leopard, for the tantalizing pics and for setting our hearts pumping in anticipation! And welcome back, Brad!

Happiness Is…

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Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month –
Lon Dumont
I had an instant crush on homoerotic wrestler of the month, Lon Dumont, when I saw his BG East debut in Fantasymen 32.  Lon’s cocky swagger and clear, strong voice, paired with his beautifully sculpted body and fully formed wrestling persona had me riveted before big Eddy Rey even showed up ringside.
Lon cuts big Eddy Rey down to size
When Eddy finally arrived, Lon continued to captivate me by taking the lead in the dance of establishing the plot. Eddy encouraged Lon to continue with his posing routine, but Lon refused with a snort. “People pay to see me flex,” he explains. Lon wasn’t about to just give it away for free. When Eddy proposes that perhaps he might just make Lon flex for him, Lon put his hands on his hips and tilted his head to side, thinking. When he acknowledges that Eddy is a tall drink of water and calls him, “Sprout,” I both laugh and grow even more aroused at the same time.
Eddy obediently flexes for Lon
In short order, Lon confirmed my fondest hope.  Via a blindside assault on big Eddy, Lon demonstrated with brutal grace that he has not only the body, not only the persona, but also the ring savvy and wrestling skill to deserve my firmly established fanaticism. On message like a bear trap, Lon made sweaty Eddy flex his hot muscles over and over, wringing one submission after another out of the big man. Lon was patient but firm as he physically and psychologically broke down big Eddy, systematically transforming him from an over-confident, hard-bodied hunk into a whimpering, obedient, defenseless plaything.
As documented here at neverland, each and every new release from Lon Dumont makes my heart flutter like a star-struck schoolgirl. I most appreciate his rookie wrecking work, such as beating down to size the likes of big, dumb (and presumably full of cum) Terry O’Daly and, most recently, hairy bruiser Morgan Cruise. Big, strong, barely legal studs like these are genetically predisposed and socially trained to believe that they deserve to come out on top over smaller, more mature opponents. Handsome, letterman jacket-wearing sides of beef grow up unfailingly reinforced in the faith that youth and size merit victory when they stand, flexing, side-by-side with the likes of 5’6 and 15/16″ tall, 150 pound, 30-something opponents. When Lon picks them apart like Thanksgiving turkey leftovers, you can see their rookie worldviews come crashing down around them.  As Lon cuts them down to size and then lifts his right boot, pauses as he takes aim, and then stomps all over them, tenderizing their cornfed muscles from head to toe, the likes of Terry and Morgan learn that the real world will not be handed to them on a platter just because they’re big, fit and young.

Ripped Lon and partner Chace LaChance

Versatility turns me on, as well, and my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month can tell more than one story. Teamed up with too, too tweezed go-go boy rookie Chace LaChance, Lon was also convincingly one half of pretty-in-peach, going down in two out of three to big, nasty Donnie Drake and his sadist apprentice, Doug Rand. Babyface heroes who battle valiantly but are bested by crafty shortcuts and vile double teams are beautiful to behold. When Lon is knocked out cold and laid out defenseless and vulnerable next to his pretty partner in the middle of the ring, all that gorgeous muscle so helpless and humiliated makes me gasp.

Joe’s huge thighs crushing Lon’s armored core
And speaking of gasping… when I interviewed Lon earlier this year, I asked him what it would take to be bested in a singles match. “Perhaps someone with a 100-pound weight advantage might have better luck,” he answered bluntly, “but besides that, I just don’t see it happening.” Perhaps going on the record like that gave the boys at BG East a devilish idea, because the next time we saw Lon climb into the ring, he was face-to-face… or perhaps, face to sternum… with 6’2″, 240 pound Titan, Joe Robbins. Bigger men have gone weak in the knees in the shadow of humungous Joe, but Lon is a study in self-control. Whether Lon’s prediction from my interview was playing through his mind as Joe wrapped his tree trunks around him and crushed him into sobbing agony, I don’t know. But while nearly 100-pounds of weight advantage did, indeed, blemish Lon’s undefeated 1-on-1 record, Lon proved that he’s not just entertaining when he’s large and in charge. He’s a vision, suffering for days, enduring boatloads of pain for a marathon session of gut abuse that incredibly reluctantly wrings a string of submissions out of the bodybuilder. When Lon is gasping, clutching his rips, slumped against the ring apron, his loss to Joe is just one more check in the win column when it comes to confirming my lustful devotion.
Picture perfect Lon rips Terry O’Daly’s knee off

Not everyone is turned on by what I’m turned on by, but one thing that defines this blog and my lust is wrestling. And Lon is first and foremost a sexy-ass wrestler. Just like his stomps, his masterful application of joint wrenching submission holds is brutally graceful.  The rookies that Lon excels in destroying are typically ham-handed, a little awkward as they work themselves into position to snap on a Boston crab or have to use trial-and-error to figure out the most effective angle to work a bearhug. Lon, on the other hand, slides like liquid gold into position. He knows just how far a knee will bend, just how much tension a back can take. He’s such a technician that he can afford to be an artist as well, flexing his body just right, snarling beautifully, displaying his writhing opponent gorgeously for the perfect camera angle.

Like me, Lon can’t help but marvel at the
image of his complete mastery over Morgan Cruise

It was Lon’s deeply satisfying rookie wrecking of hairy chested bruiser Morgan Cruise that earned him, at last, the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month. The vision of Morgan’s Prometheus Bound performance nearly earned the rookie the reader’s choice as the rookie with the most potential. I, for one, am very, very keen to see Morgan and his cleft chin show up again to see if he can start to learn some of those lessons that Lon so patiently offered him. But as beautiful as Morgan’s destruction is, my eyes are stuck like glue on every flex, every vein rising to the surface, every angle of Lon’s body as he demonstrates his mastery of the ring and as he masters Morgan’s powerful body and so vulnerable soul.

Lon’s excellence of execution
There’s something profoundly erotic about a man who is completely self-possessed and in control of his emotions even as he administers debilitating doses of pain and suffering. This probably explains why I continue to enjoy Dexter so much (despite Michael C. Hall’s stubborn refusal to let us see his ass), and it most definitely explains, in part, why Lon captivates me so thoroughly. He’s a rational wrestler. He’s thinking as he’s applying that armbar. He contemplating the moral of the story, even as he’s threatening to rip poor Morgan’s head off of his neck. When Lon is finished with Morgan, he gives the wrecked rookie a thoughtful examination. It’s not personal. Hell, Lon even suggests that he’d be willing to entertain teaming up with beefy Morgan to continue to tutor the heel-hopeful.

Lon’s rippling abs, sculpted quads, bulding shoulders, rock hard pecs,
perfectly employed.

Lon has been working my wrestling kink like a champ from the moment his flexing image appeared on my screen. His charming interview from last February proved that Lon is a quality human being in addition to being a captivating homoerotic wrestler. He’s been at the top of my charts for a long time when it comes to my favorite homoerotic wrestlers (non-pornboys), and his destruction of Morgan Cruise’s body and dreams makes him, at long last and unquestionably, my homoerotic wrestler of the month.

Lon wrestles, flexes, and thinks his way to #1

Bard’s Pilgrim Way – Journey’s End (Part 1)

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As many of you anticipated, my pilgrimage to all things BG East in Boston would not have been complete without a visit to the temple mount itself, the center of my homoerotic wrestling universe, the BG East compound outside of Boston. When I made inquiries about the possibility of paying a visit to BG East, the response was generous and welcoming. I was invited to come by and meet “the boys” and see where the genius of BG East is conjured.


Stained glass homage to wrestling over the desk of BG East Boss, Kid Leopard

Pulling into the driveway of BG East central, I was bewildered a bit by the sense that I was seeing it, simultaneously, through two different lenses. I’d never been there before. If I hadn’t known better, I’d never have picked the compound out as anything unusual in the tidy lakeside neighborhood. But at the same time, it was as if I’d been here a thousand times before. Hell, just a couple months ago I was watching muscle punk Kieran Dunne drive up this very same driveway, park his car not 10 feet from where I parked mine, and strut with his characteristic overconfidence inside to face devastatingly pretty Chace LaChance in Jobberpalooza 11. It felt a little like a homecoming to a place I’d never been before.


Keiran Dunne flexes while Chace LaChance is all business in
BG East’s Jobberpalooza 11
Greeting me at the door was the Boss himself, extending a hearty handshake and a welcoming smile as he invited me inside. Again, the experience of double-vision was disorienting. Although I’ve exchanged emails with Kid Leopard, we’d never met in person. But he was so familiar! I knew his tone of voice, his wry sense of humor, and his commanding presence. Just a couple of days earlier, I was enjoying myself watching this man shock hunky Wade Cutler, beating the living shit out of muscle jobber Wade and leaving him soaked in cum in the middle of the ring in Hunkbash 2. And then there he stood, shaking my hand and welcoming me to BG East.

Kid Leopard before his Hunkbash 2 match against Wade Cutler
“So do you want to see the place?” he asked, as if reading my mind. Having come so far, I was desperate to soak in the site of so much homoerotic wrestling inspiration. He took me through to the back of the compound, overlooking the lake… you know, that lake. The lake that Brad Rochelle sunbathed next to after his epic heel turn in Contract 6. That lake in which Troy Baker viciously attacked his big brother, Brian, in search of vengeance for Brian’s betrayal at the end of their humiliating defeat in Tag Team Torture 3.

Troy Baker gets worked over by big brother Brian in BG East Grudge Match 2.
“Over here is the gazebo,” the Boss directed my attention to a shady spot in the woods. It was empty, seeming like a random, anonymous bit of architecture set beneath the towering trees surrounding it. But I couldn’t help but picture the sweat-soaked bodies of so many Gazebo Grapplers struggling underneath that roof: perennial favorite Mitch crushing babyface beauty Alexi, relentless Jonny wringing handsome Sandro’s sweetly suffering body between the railings, the whole bevy of testosterone-fueled hunks wrestling in a ferocious round-robin in Gazebo Grapplers 4.

Kid Leopard showing me the site of Gazebo Grappling fame
And then there was the backyard, lush and green beneath the trees. Yep, that backyard. There were no wrestling mats on the lawn that day, but I swear I could see wrestle stud Denny Cartier locked across ripped rookie Attila Dynasty’s back, applying that nasty abdominal stretch and pounding the ripped muscle stud’s vulnerable core in Backyard Brawls 7. The same backyard where fearless Alexi took on lottery winners TJ Tanner, Christian Taylor, and bubble-butted Sandro back-to-back in Who’s Next?!

Sweat-soaked Alexi in complete control of the backyard in
BG East’s Who’s Next!?
And down a path through the woods, the Boss pointed out the Wrestle Shack. “It’s full of yard equipment at the moment,” he explained, but he’s planning on having the boys clean it out to tape some new matches soon. Images flashed across my vision, of Gil Barrios dragging outmuscled Jerry Connors into the Wrestle Shack to strip naked and finish off the rookie humiliation, and of Lance Jeffers’ mammoth cock bludgeoning Shon Tracey’s awestruck face.

Gil Barrios uses the Wrestle Shack rafters for leverage in punishing rookie
Jerry Connors in Backyard Brawls 7
I’m sure I said it about 3 dozen times that day, but I stumbled over my own words, thanking the Boss profusely for his hospitality. I’d thought about this pilgrimage for weeks, what I’d say, what I’d ask. I’d spent a lot of time preparing. I’d hoped to present myself as cool and savvy, worthy of initiation into the behind the scenes mysteries of an average day at BG East. But my mind was blank except for my lame, awestruck words of gratitude. The Boss briefly indulged my babbling good-naturedly, but when he suggested we continue the tour, I fell silent, and followed him back inside….

Asses Named

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I heard from a couple of you playing along with this week’s Name That Ass quiz. I hope that the quiz remains entertaining and challenging for you. If nothing else, you really should take another look at this fantastic asses on this entertaining homoerotic wrestlers!
Ass #1 belongs to…
BG East’s Chace LaChance.

This hot little car thief will remain intuitively linked in my homoerotic wrestling memory to my reigning favorite  homoerotic wrestler – non-pornboy division, Lon Dumont. Chace’s first appearance was as Lon’s tag team partner in their doomed outing against Donnie Drake and Doug Rand in Tag Team Torture 12. Chace showed up again against Donnie in Tag Team Torture 13, still managing to get battered and humiliated even in a 2-on-1 team up with Brent Salvo against Donnie. But in his third match, with his ass pictured here, he proves that he’s not just another pretty jobber as he demolishes Kieran Dunne in Jobberpalooza 11. There something about his club-ready perfect face that makes me dislike Chace as a reflex. I’ve known too many pristinely tanned and toned pretty boys like that who always make me feel a little inadequate, which is why I think Chace could have a big future as a jobber (so that we can enjoy watching the pretty one destroyed) or a surprisingly nasty pretty-boy heel (something that pretty has to have an evil core, doesn’t it?).  

Ass #3 belongs to…
Thunder’s Arena’s recent rookie muscle boy, BamBam.
A wrestler who gets the sort of review that Joe at Ringside at Skull Island gave BamBam’s debut against fellow fresh faced rookie Antonio a while back, had better have a killer body going for him, because apparently his wrestling leaves a lot to be desired (and I agree with Joe’s tastes and assessment 99.84% of the time). Fortunately for BamBam, he does indeed have that sweet round ass of his to hold our attention, even if he’s got a long way to go to sell a wrestling story. I have it on my to-do list to watch BamBam’s Mat Wars 28 session with sweaty veteran Cameron Mathews. If anyone can initiate an eager muscle stud into what it takes to deliver, surely it’s Cam.
Ass #3 belongs to…
BG East’s rookie delight, Marc Merino.
We’ve only had an opportunity to see Marc in Gear Wars 2, getting the full treatment from fellow rookie, Andee. I’ve only seen the stills from this match so far, but it looks like an extremely hot story with a very happy ending using the ring ropes to their fullest and most entertaining advantage. Marc’s ass looks extremely spankable.
Ass #4 belongs to…
Naked Kombat’s boldly named rookie, Adonis.
NK has been over-selling their rookies lately, in my opinion. Every fit lad with a pretty cock is packaged as a muscle god with a dick of death. I was, therefore, instantly skeptical of handsome young Adonis here in his one and only match, to date, debuting against Gianni Luca. Even with a creepily low BMI, Adonis still delivers highly entertaining homoerotic wrestling. With the presence and command that no rookie has a right to, Adonis serves up a heaping helping of humiliating domination that, I can’t deny, turns my crank. While his ass is certainly not the roundest or most squeezable or most spankable, it’s hard as marble and incredibly awesome to watch in action (as is the rest of him).
Ass #5 belongs to…
BG East’s Pete Reynolds.
This might be classified as a “trick question,” but by no means does personal trainer Pete here fail to meet the qualifications I set forth in this theme-set edition of Name That Ass. Despite not having wrestled for 17 and a half years, he did, indeed, apparently appear in only one homoerotic wrestling product, namely BG East’s Fantasymen 5. So he may not be the freshest meat on the table this week, but he’s perpetually and eternally a homoerotic wrestling rookie with a world class ass. His extremely brief tenure in the biz, perhaps, could be due to his misfortune in debuting against one of the classic baddies of all time, Psycho Capone. I think all rookies should take note: if you’re slated to debut against a wrestler named “psycho,” you might want to renegotiate your contract.
SP & AH posted very respectable scores this week. I will endeavor not to overcompensate for Topher’s advanced-level performance in past quizzes, and hopefully future editions of Name That… will be entertaining, challenging, and manageable.

Dude, Where’s My Car?!

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As the scene materializes, we see a canary yellow tripped out sport sedan, driving into the driveway of BGE headquarters. It’s Kieran Dunne. He’s late for his match. He doesn’t really care.

Kieran is a babyface that’s always a delight to see pounded. Ever since he got the Mr. Joshua welcome to BG East in Mat Hunks 1, the juxtaposition of his adolescent-looking face with a muscleman physique has just screamed out for beating after beating. He’s developed an attitude over the years inversely proportional to his muscle tone, and every so often, the attitude is just enough to put Kieran over the top., However, I, for one, am always ready to lap up more Kieran-as-jobber.

But what’s this? Keiran’s opponent for Jobberpaloozer 11 is go-go boy rookie, Chace LaChance. Chace has been stinkin’ up the place since his recent arrival at BG East. First, he was the albatross around my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler – nonpornboy division, Lon Dumont, when Chace debuted as Lon’s tag team partner in Tag Team Torture 12. This is just me talking, now. Lon never said a bad word about Chace when I interviewed him a couple of months ago. But I just have to think that their nasty humiliation at the hands of Donnie Drake and Doug Rand came as a result of Chace’s rookie flat-footedness. I’ve been nursing an infatuation with the idea of Lon punishing the pretty-pretty boy mercilessly, to teach him a lesson for putting the first check in Lon’s loss column.

Even 2-on-1, Kieran couldn’t manage a victory against a double-teamed Donnie Drake in Tag Team Torture 13. So Kieran versus Chace is a quandry, particularly in a collection entitled Jobberpalooza. Two jobbers go head-to-head, the veteran jobber who never learns, and the green rookie jobber who’s almost too pretty to stand. This is an existential crisis in the making for me.

Turns out, Kieran brings the same narcissistic over-confidence he always does to the table. Chace, however, brings something entirely new. In addition to sporting a tanned, toned body ripped out of a go-go boy cage at smoky dance club, Chace also has some heretofore unseen moves. Who knew!?

After initially digging himself out of the hole that he finds himself in from Kieran’s dirty tricks, Chace proves decisively who the “jobber” is in this battle of the jobbers. A couple of favorite moments here include the impressive feat of Chace delightfully scissoring Keiran’s melon between his skinny legs, sliding his butt backward into the corner, and then pressing himself up, rope by rope, dragging Kieran’s carcass up with him. The image of Chace perched like that in the very same corner that Lon punished Eddie Rey with a suspended bodyscissor tweaks that fantasy of mine in a bad, bad way.

After a surprisingly nice heel-in-training clinic that Chace lays on Kieran (the yanking Keiran round by his hair and using him as a punching bag in the corner are particularly fun), my second favorite of Chace’s moves comes after all is said and done. After sleepering Keiran out for a ten count (and then some), Chace puts on his warm up gear and heads out of BG East having proven he’s no one-trick jobber-pony. He heads to his hatchback under the carport, but then stops and looks over his shoulder at Kieran’s canary yellow pride and joy. With a devilish smile across his ridiculously pretty face, Chace slides into the front seat and crows, “My car, now!” He drives off revving the engine indulgently.

All this to say that if Lon and Chace do ever meet, I still say Lon’s destined to punish the pretty one mercilessly. But happily, it might turn out to be more of a competition than I would’ve thought before I saw Jobberpalooza 11.

Crowning a New Champion

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It probably hardly needs mentioning, does it? I was so completely charmed by my interview with Lon Dumont that no one could be surprised to learn he’s reclaimed his title as my favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy division).

Since I stumbled across Rusty Stevens’ resignation from porn, the serious competition has been in the non-pornboy rankings, as far as I’m concerned (no disrespect intended toward Trent Diesel, of course). Joshua Goodman’s (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) last two matches have been stunningly erotic, even while still including no actual nudity. When Mr. Joshua decided to put bodyworship on the table, and invite a gym bunny admirer to wrestle for the pleasure of owning Mr. Joshua’s gorgeous body, that nudged him right over the top of inaugural title holder, Lon. But after having the opportunity to actually chat with Lon, there’s no doubt about it. He’s managed to body slam Mr. Joshua back into second place.

Mr. Joshua v Chico Valdez – Ring Rookies 2

I think it was the moment that Lon thanked me for noticing the fine way he fills out his wrestling trunks, that the title technically changed hands. He just has a graciousness about him with regard to my insistent adoration of his granite-carved physique that’s astonishingly sexy. As is abundantly evident in both the interview and Lon’s matches, he’s quick-witted and smart, and I wouldn’t be all that surprised to see him make an appearance competing on Jeopardy (and likely kicking ass there, as well). Graciousness and smarts as accessories to a competition bodybuilding body with years of hardworking wrestling experience? Hell, yeah! Lon Dumont is definitely the undisputed title holder in my book.

Lon Dumont v Terry O’Daly – Demolition 14

The only blemish on Lon’s BGE career thus far is the tag team loss he suffered at the brutal hands of Donnie Drake and rookie sidekick Doug Rand. I had intended on asking Lon more about this cloud hanging over his match record, but I was completely charmed by his passion for sharing his life with rescue animals. So, let me tally this us once more… graciousness, smarts, granite body carved by Michaelangelo, veteran wrestling savvy, AND sensitive, socially conscious animal lover!? My, oh my… Mr. Joshua, you’ve got your work cut out for you.

But back to Lon’s only match loss, the question I’d planned to ask Lon was about his tag team partner in that fated match, Chace LaChance. Personally, as a firmly established Lon fanatic, I’d think Lon would have had better odds of coming out on top taking on Donnie and Doug single-handedly. I thought that Chace brought almost nothing to the table other than his sweet, go-go boy muscles (which, let’s face it, fall into the category of “cute” next to the sliced and diced hardness and definition of Lon), his five-o-clock shadow, and that metaphorical target painted on his pretty, all-over-tanned ass that said, “Kick the shit out of me!” In fact, my take was the Chace was a net competitive loss for the LaChance/Dumont side of the equation (though he does bring plenty of “pretty” to enjoy).

Chace LaChance

Chace has been getting that sweet ass of his beaten left and right in his short tenure with BGE, so I don’t know if he’ll even have the audacity to show up again, particularly after his abject humiliation in a second appearance against Donnie Drake, where Donnie manhandles and mauls both Chace and Brent Salvo simultaneously and single-handedly (only further proving my point that Chace was clearly the weakest link when he teamed with Lon). But if Chace is still sniffing around for more BGE action, then I think Lon ought to re-open that wrestling school of his that he mentioned (and a can of whoop-ass) with Chace LaChance as his first pupil. Corporal punishment would definitely be standing orders.

Lon Dumont v Eddie Rey – Fantasymen 32

I suppose, when it comes right down to it, I’m not sure who wouldn’t make Lon look good. Perhaps Joe Robbins could fit the bill that Lon suggested might earn a victory over him, considering Joe is, indeed, right around 100 pounds heavier and over half a foot taller. But as I said to Lon, I pity any wrestler who thinks that’s the only thing it will take to defeat him. When it comes to who might be “foolish enough” to accept a forced-to-flex challenge from my favorite bodybuilder battler, I’d nominate Kid Karisma (who would NEVER believe that his muscles could be inferior to anyone’s), or perhaps a green rookie who needs initiated into the ring, like Attila Dynasty. Of course, it goes without saying that there’d be just about no bigger battle of egos than a Lon v Mr. Joshua face-off, but I still say that Mr. Joshua should devote himself exclusively to matches that involve wrestling amorous admirers intent on worshipping his body and tapping his ass, if they can defeat him. Much more of that from Mr. Joshua is his best chance at clawing his way back on top of Lon’s rippled abs and reclaiming the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler, non-pornboy division.

Someone is, at this very moment, complaining that Lon granting me an interview has unjustly swayed my rankings. Let me just emphasize that these favorite homoerotic wrestling rankings are always MY favorite homoerotic wrestling rankings. This is always about who’s turning me on and entertaining me the most, and hands down, that would be Lon these days. Of course, if there are any other contenders who’d like to even the playing field by giving me an interview, I’m more than happy to oblige! That said, it’ll be tough to charm me quite as much as my reigning homoerotic wrestling non-pornboy, Lon Dumont.

Starting Strong

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We’re barely a week into the new year and I can already predict, with absolute certainty, what one of my top 5 favorite moments of 2011 will be. In fact, I may need to start a favorite moment of the decade category for this. One of my favorite moments of the year is going to be, without a doubt, being contacted by Lon Dumont, my current #1 contender for the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler – non-pornboy division (and inaugural championship title holder).
Lon dropped me a note last week, letting me know that he’d run across this blog and had appreciated my kind words about him and his outstanding wrestling with BG East. He also offered me the tantalizing tease that he’s expecting to wrestle some more with BGE this year. The promise of seeing more of giant-killer Lon climbing into the ring and squeezing agonizingly long, gasping submissions out of his shocked opponents is already making me a little breathless!
It’s hardly surprising to learn that Lon is a competition bodybuilder. A friend recently sent me some pics of Lon on stage, displaying his award winning physique. The sight of his bronzed, oiled, shredded, vascular marvel of a body makes my eyes hurt, probably because I’m just not blinking as I stare in wondering adoration. Totally worth it.
While Lon’s physique in still-frame is simply, undeniably, a work of art, I continue to maintain that his ring persona is what makes him a standout object of homoerotic wrestling kink gold. At 5’7″ tall and 150 pounds, Lon might seem to be at a disadvantage when he climbs into the ring with likes of 6’1″, 210 pound Eddie Rey or even 5’10”, 185 pound rookie, Terry O’Daly. But as his undefeated record in 1-on-1 competition attests, he’s got precisely what it takes to bring the big boys to their knees. You could tell from the moment that Eddie Rey climbed into the ring with Lon in Lon’s debut BGE match, when Lon challenged the muscle hunk to forced-to-flex stakes and called towering Eddie “Sprout,” that Lon had the cold confidence and the ring savvy to zero out whatever size advantage his opponent might enjoy. Frankly, I almost feel a little sorry for Eddie and Terry by the end of their encounters with Lon. With all of their illusions of crushing a “little guy” shattered, and with Lon flexing his competition-quality muscles in their faces humiliatingly, I catch myself almost feeling a pang of pity for them. Happily, Lon is as pitiless as he is devastating, and I’m left with nothing but lustful awe for the big, big man packed into a tightly shredded, striated, gorgeously muscled, compact body.
Lon’s only blemish on his BGE record thus far is his tag team loss wrestling alongside of rookie Chace LaChance, falling to the dirty tricks of big bruiser Donnie Drake and his rookie sidekick, Doug Rand. Now, this is just my opinion, but I think go-go boy Chace deserves some harsh retribution for his part in earning the giant killer a tick in the loss column. Lon hasn’t mentioned anything to me about it, but it just seems to me that if anyone has earned some harsh feelings from Lon, it’s that far-too-prettyboy poser.
Of course, Chace only has a 2 inch height advantage and about a 5 pound weight advantage over Lon, which seems like a complete joke when you take a look at Lon’s absolutely masterful dismantling of muscle stud bigboy, Eddie Rey. So, true, perhaps a grudge match with Chace might not be as competitive as a typical Lon Dumont wrestling clinic, but I’d put money on the odds that an obliterating go-go boy beatdown would be every bit as entertaining. Seriously, I’d put money on that!
Taking a page from the trailblazer, Joe at Ringside at Skull Island, I’ve approached Lon about the possibility of an interview to post here. He seems as generous outside the ring as he is relentlessly dominating inside the ring, so we’ll be scheduling that soon. I suppose I should make it clear that personal communication from a top-tier wrestler-obsession of mine shouldn’t tip the scales at all in his direction as I dispassionately weigh the current rankings of my favorites. By no means should Lon get any favoritism from me. That said, if I were Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!), I’d stop staring at my massive balls and look over my shoulder, because there’s a 5’7″ bodybuilder with a vicious streak coming up fast from behind! Watch for more from me here, and watch for more from Lon at BGE this year. In the mean time, I’m going to go buy some Visine, because I still can’t take my eyes away from those stone-carved abs!

Pushing and pulling

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Whew! BGE finally put me out of my misery and delivered my copy of Tag Team Torture 12. I’ve been craving the second appearance of Lon Dumont for months now. All this pent up anticipation was making my right eye twitch. Needless to say, I was loaded for bear with a hair trigger as I ripped open the package and pressed play.
Lon impresses me even more in motion than his stunning photos from his tag team match. He is one tightly muscled package of tastiness. He and his partner, Chace LaChance, are both a little unnaturally tan, smooth as silk, and packed into their destined-to-job bright orange and metallic polka-dotted trunks impressively. Here’s the story as I see it: Two relative ring veterans (Donnie Drake and Lon… watch Lon in action and it’s evident he’s no rookie), are facing off against one another, each veteran bringing with him a protege/apprentice. Lon has the smooth moves, speed, and savvy to tie Donnie up in knots. Donnie has just enough savvy, dumb-fratboy cockiness, and overwhelming muscle mass to power out of any knot he gets tied into. So the story is mostly told in the boys on the side.

Lon brings to the ring Chace LaChance, who looks like he’s been ripped off of some go-go pole. He has better moves than I expected with his babyface, club-boy look. He suffers quite nicely, in fact, and he sells his one-on-two demolitions with some sweet style. So the story goes, Lon is on the sidelines barking instructions to his protege, so that Chace’s youthful eagerness is guided like a cruise missile by the cool hand of Lon calling the shots. I, like his opponents, underestimate Chace throughout, which makes this all considerably more fun.

Sadly, though, Lon and Chace don’t really have much chemistry between them. They lose their story somewhere, and other than a fantastic sequence of moves to win fall #2 (where they bat young Doug Rand between them like two cats playing with a ball of string), Lon and Chace seem primarily merely fodder for 2 on 1 abuse at the hands of their opponents. Donnie and Doug, on the other hand, play the coach/protege story consistently and enjoyingly. Doug looks a little like a doofus, full of bluster and an arsenal of moves that he’s just too green and slow to know how to unpack. So Donnie is persistently pulling arrows out of Doug’s quiver, barking orders that Doug faithfully follows. Donnie orders Doug to sidewalk-slam Chace, and Doug instantly lifts his opponent off his feet and slams him to his back. Donnie commands Doug to claw Chace’s pecs, and Doug digs in with abandon. Donnie does a nice job convincing us that he’s a sick fuck who gets off on dominating and humiliating. And the edge in his voice ordering Doug around gives just a hint of a daddy/cub backstory that would have been SO hot to see play out between Lon and Chace (alas).
For lusting after Lon, his debut against Eddy Rey remains the purchase of choice. Getting a glimpse of Lon’s ability to sell suffering and push his opponents’ story is sweet, though I think Lon’s personality and wrestling skills were just to big for this particular tag scenario to really make the most of him. I’m loudly rooting for more of Lon, louder Lon, more dominating Lon, matched up against some more opponents who can move, fly, and scramble even half as skillfully as Lon clearly can. I’m happy to own a little piece of Lon tanned, highlighting his really stunning body. But frankly it’s Donnie who comes out the surprise winner from the match for my attentions. He’s not the smoothest or most skilled. There are bigger boys. But Donnie told me a hot story that sparked my imagination.