Author: wrestlebard

I'm a gay man with an active imagination.

Earning It

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My homoerotic wrestler of the month, DJ, is unquestionably Naked Kombat’s Mr. Franchise. DJ represents precisely what NK brings to the homoerotic wrestling universe. He’s as tenacious as a terrier and as physically fit as my yoga instructor (which, I know, means nothing to you, but he actually looks a whole lot like my yoga instructor who is incredibly lean and gorgeous, which explains my workout regimen lately). DJ knows NK points forward and backward. His mat skills are a work of art. And his cool, calculated humiliation and domination in round 4 gets nastier and more entertaining all the time.
DJ is back yet again headlining this week’s NK offering against rookie thug, Nikko Alexander.  Nikko has one victory under his belt, but you’d think from the way he struts and sneers that he’s a dyed in the wool veteran heel. So he beat up on Jake Austin. Please. Who hasn’t?

Nikko trash-talks like a back alley heavy to start the match. As reward for his derision, DJ puts him on his back within the first 5 seconds of the match. DJ is wearing his hair very short (perhaps tired of the subtly racist jabs at his “troll doll” appearance from most of his opponents). I swear he continues to put on thicker muscle, ounce by ounce, all the time (though I think this match may have been released out of order… still…). I don’t suppose he’s ever going to be competition bodybuilder, but he’s built for exactly the purpose in front of him: kicking Nikko’s sweet round ass.

I’ve grown to enjoy DJ’s work so much that I must say, there’s something about him wrestling in his speedo and jock strap in the first two rounds that just seems odd. He’s perfectly, quintessentially DJ once there’s nothing between him and his opponent but that astonishingly long, beautiful, uncut cock of his.

It’s not as if DJ is a classic face, by any means. He’s got more of a stoner, skateboard punk vibe about him, in my estimation. But this match-up has me cheering out loud for each and every humiliating hold he slaps on Nikko, as if I’m watching a classic knight-in-shining-armor humble a big, bad heel from 80’s pro. Nikko is such a thug-in-training.

Nikko is not above some “inadvertent” rakes to the eyes and painful yanks on DJ’s nose. Hell, those are about the classiest things he brings to the NK mat. DJ is working is athletic ass off, executing an NK-style assault like few others can, and Nikko is just trying to figure out how to be a homoerotic wrestling bully.

So perhaps it’s not 80’s pro wrestling that this match evokes for me as much as a classic AMG softcore wrestling skit. The good guy (as far as I’m concerned) wins, conquering the snarling shenanigans of the thug. Of course DJ’s force feeding of his cock deep down Nikko’s throat, whipping Nikko’s face with it, and fucking him dizzy aren’t so much the literal translation of an AMG flick, but the spanking in the middle of that scenario is, in fact, classic AMG. DJ swats Nick’s thug ass with a satisfied grin, each blow sending Nikko’s body into spasms of shocked pain (overacted to precisely the same degree as an AMC scenario, I swear). Nikko’s florescent red ass come count 10, though, isn’t an act, nor is the distracted, lip-licking pleasure DJ takes in stroking and scratching his opponent’s stinging cheeks.
I think I sold DJ way short when I picked him for the current homoerotic wrestler of the month. Looking back, I think I may have made it sound like he’s the least mediocre boy in the running among last month’s new releases. I didn’t intend that, at all, and DJ’s bout with Nikko yesterday proves what should be abundantly clear. He’s a hardworking, beautiful, skilled homoerotic wrestling pornboy who gets nothing handed to him for free. He earns every inch of what he gets.

Playing to the Audience

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Kid Leopard v Matt Carlton – BGE  Live in San Francisco

Today’s BG East Arena update features several galleries from the vintage Live at San Francisco collection of matches. In addition to reminding me that I need to get a copy of these live audience matches featuring some of the early lions, it also reminds me that I really like homoerotic wrestling in front of an audience.

Brooklyn Bodywrecker v Scott Rogers & Matt Carlton – BGE Live in San Francisco

A reader recently chatted with me about the concept of gay wrestling in front of an audience. We both agreed that the concept really moves us. I’m not entirely certain what all the moving parts are that multiply the eroticism of homoerotic wrestling with a live audience, but I have to believe it has to do with the shared intimacy of watching arousing, hardbodied athletes playing to a mutual kink.

Reed/DJ v Rouge/Tucker – Naked Kombat – December 23, 2009

Naked Kombat taped three incredibly hot matches in front of an audience before calling that venue quits. Their boys always got hurt when they wrestled in front of a crowd of cheering fans. Did the kombatants experience an extra rush of adrenaline when the boys in the stand roared with delight at each homoerotic hold? Did they find themselves trying a little too hard, pumped a little too much, with a jeering, cheering, hungry audience egging them on like the crowd that inevitably forms around schoolyard scraps? Maybe that’s part of the equation of what turns me on, as well. There’s an extra dose of adrenaline with an audience watching. There’s not only the fantastically intimate relationship hammered out between the wrestlers, but also the relationship between the wrestlers and the audience. Like a threesome, it adds something exotic and extra intense to an already erotically charged moment.

Reed/DJ v Rouge/Tucker – Naked Kombat – December 23, 2009

My recent introduction to the illustrated storybooks Sexfights at the BG Arena captures this ménage à trois sentiment quite nicely. The story of one night in an explicitly gay, live audience, ring wrestling arena, suggests that the wrestling studs fighting to cum out on top experience a synergistic, orgasmic psychic connection with the audience, carried across the sound waves of the audience’s shouts of encouragement, instruction or derision. The wrestlers, financially rewarded on a sliding scale based on how hardcore the victory sex gets, find themselves nudged further in brutality and passion as a result of the boys in the chairs, aroused and enthralled at the live, homoerotic, 110% wrestling kink action occurring just a few feet in front of them.

Chuck Tiger Collins v Fallen Angel – BGE Live on Campus

So perhaps a Sexfights at BG Arena scenario might have trouble finding an insurance carrier (which I assume was the real nail in the coffin of Naked Kombat’s live audience matches). And perhaps as homoerotic wrestling has become more established, there’s less opportunity for the ragged spontaneity of a Wrestlefest, for example.

Brad Rochelle v Patrick Donovan – BGE Wrestlefest 2

But I’ll keep a candle burning for the hope to someday buy my ticket for a ringside seat to watch the kink infused melodrama of homoerotic wrestling played out close enough for me to smell the sweat. Surely the seats would be packed for an opening bout with, say, my favorite homoerotic wrestler – non-pornboy division – Lon Dumont swagger out and climb commandingly through the ropes to work his bodybeautiful, indypro-informed magic on – how about – BGE veteran delight, Patrick Donovan. Patrick would be rewarded by those of us in the seats for copping some gratuitous feels of LD’s gorgeous pecs, but LD would surely pound his amorous opponent into a sweaty, exhausted, defenseless pulp, earning even more awed adoration from us in the crowd. Match 2, I’m thinking, should be a little kinkier. Let’s say Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!), eager to show up LD, climbs into the ring next, against Grapple 101 emcee, Ashley Ryder. Ashley lets us in the seats know that if he conquers my top contender for the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler – non-pornboy division – he’ll give us all what we’ve been swooning for for more than a decade: an unobstructed view of Mr. Joshua’s stripped cock and balls. Hell, the crowd would turn on Mr. J in a flash, wouldn’t we!? Our blood would pump faster with each small advantage that Ashley managed to claim over Mr. J. When Ashley found himself bullied and slammed by his opponent, we’d roar in protest, desperate for our fresh-faced champion to deliver the goods he cockily promised. Knowing Ashley, sooner or later, boots would be stripped and the tension would rise over his fetish for claiming his opponent’s socks. And, let’s face it, Mr. J would likely capitalize on Ashley’s single-minded devotion to his gimmick, beating the Britboy’s face into the turnbuckle, tying him in the ropes and battering him with every appendage, before choking him out in the center of the ring as we catcalled, watching our hopes to see Mr. J’s goods fade with Ashley’s consciousness. But as full of himself as Mr. J is, he isn’t immune to the adrenaline rush of the roaring crowd. We’d chant, “take it off, take it off, take if off,” making the adonis pause as he’s stepping through the ropes to make his exit. “Take if off, take it off, take it off,” we’d chant like devotees of our druid god, weaving a spell so powerful that Mr. J, in his lust to be worshipped, couldn’t refuse. He’d tease us. He’d start to strip, and then wag his finger at us, plucking our pumping heartstrings like a harpist. Take it off, take it off, take it off… we’d keep whispering, breathlessly, desperately, until his eyes closed in rapture at the sound of our worship, and as if with a mind of their own, his hands peeled his skin tight trunks down his long, muscled legs. He’d grab his balls in his right hand and his cock in his left, giving them a habitual tug, before lacing his fingers behind his head and flexing his eight-pack directly over top of Ashley’s prone body, soaking in the impassioned shouts and grunts of our climactic adoration.

Dennis the Menace v Jay Austin – BGE – Paradise 2

Holy crap! I got completely lost there in my own fantasy of a BG live audience event, now didn’t I? Surely there’s got be at least another two or three more matches on the card, but I’ll save the rest of that fantasy for another day. For now, let me just say again that I think there’s an awesome chemistry to live audience wrestling, as evidenced by straight-up mainstream pro wrestling profits, that would only be that much more appealing in undisguised homoerotic fare. My candle is lit for a return of live audience action to gay wrestling, and me with my ticket to a front row seat.

Methinks

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I’m of the disposition to intentionally turn away from a tragic spectacle. I used to think that this was a sign of my moral superiority. Lately, though, I think it’s just another example of me having a weak stomach. Now, I adore some full contact combat with loads of suffering and humiliation. And I’m actually a major fan of the horror movie genre; the more psychologically twisted the better. But real life tragedy makes me queasy. I never gawk at the accordianed car on the side of the highway, for example. I just keep driving with my eyes forward.

The past 10 or 15 years of Tom Cruise’s public life has been a little like driving past the horrific car crash on the side of the highway. At some point I just started turning away. I stopped going to his movies. I turned the channel when he offered the worst acting performance of his career on Oprah’s couch. I just shook my head and tried not to watch when he tried to sell himself in a role of a postmodern critic of the biomedical model of treating postpartum depression. It all just makes me increasingly uncomfortable to watch.

I was way over Tom Cruise gossip years ago (*ahem**cough*Kyle Bradford*cough*cough*). If there was ever a character ripped from a Greek tragedy, I think it has to be a talented, handsome Hollywood hunk with a wrestling fetish, trapped behind layers of a secretive, sci-fi religious sect and a lifetime of personal and professional moves devoted obsessively to proving his heterosexual credibility. To quote the original Bard who said everything better than it’s ever been said since, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

But the newest “news” that Tom will be singing (!) in a big screen adaptation of the musical theater production Rock of Ages grabbed my attention despite myself. If it were just that he seems to writing a new tragic twist to his tragic life, presuming that he can both perform as a singer and appeal to the traditional musical theater audience, I’d probably just drive right by without a second glance. But I just had to take a second look when I read the EW coverage of the casting.

Furthering the frantic effort to legitimate his heterosexual credibility, the brief EW piece points out that in Rock of Ages, Tom will be receiving a (presumably heterosexual) lap dance. In what’s probably intended as further heterosexual legitimacy, EW also says that, in the role of womanizing rocker Stacee Jaxx, Tom will also be taking “more than one punch.”

I doubt I’ll ever see Rock of Ages once it’s produced and released, but Tom on the receiving end of a punch does something for me. I’ve imagined what a full contact homoerotic battle starring Tom might be like. The idea works for me, just like the gossip that he allegedly used to be into homoerotic wrestling for hire always did it for me.

I don’t wish Tom ill, at all. I’m typically a live-and-let-live sort of guy, without much energy to offer to discussions of how other people ought to be living their lives. But I do feel a strong sympathy for anyone out there engaged in herculean efforts to fit the heterosexual ideal of a hyper-masculine, misogynist alpha male when, in quiet moments in dark solitude, he’s really a homoerotic wrestling fetishist. It’s okay to get off on hot, hard, sweaty wrestling with another guy. It’s a beautiful thing to celebrate mutual physicality and sexuality. If there’s any one thing that this blog has been about for nearly two years, it’s been about sharing a positive perspective on homoeroticism and wrestling kink. If that’s new to you, whether you live in Iowa or Hollywood, whether you’re a working class stiff or a multi-millionaire celebrity with an army of publicists and attorneys, I hope you know that there are tons of happy, healthy, beautiful and sexy men (lots of whom read and comment on this very blog!) who are living proof that homoerotic wrestling kink can be a life-affirming, sex-positive part of your life.

A True Romantic

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I’m not into Valentines Day, really. Too much compulsory heterosexuality in the air. It’s NOT that I’m not a romantic. It’s just that I can’t take red heart chocolate boxes and red roses seriously (well, I’m always a sucker for receiving flowers… just something other than red roses, please).

The Enforcer v Blueboy – BG East – Masked Mayhem 4
Even more than the compulsive heterosexuality, there’s something intentionally fictive about Valentines Day that irks me. No one’s relationship, even the most melba toast straight couple, looks like the gooey, saccharine, “you complete me” idea promoted in commercials and greeting cards. There’s something passionless and sterile about the whole production that swings the whole constructed reality of romance toward enmeshment and abstraction and away from physicality. Sure, the morning news shows mentioned men giving lingerie to women as evidence of the link between sex and Valentines Day. But if I were to hazard a guess, I’d say that there’s likely a decrease in the amount of sex happening today, directly attributable to the chocolates-and-roses sentimentality of it all.

Kid Karisma v Len Harder – BG East – Sexy Showdown 5: Florida Fun

Now, if there were a Valentines Day card that said something like, “Show me that you really care: Wrestle me to the ground, pound me into submission, and then shove your tongue down my throat,” well, then perhaps I’d think that this contrived “holiday” has something for me.

Dean Tucker v Drake Jaden – Naked Kombat – 7/22/09

If there were an FTD card that I could send with the orchids that said something like, “First to cum gets ridden like a pony,” that might enhance the romance of the day for me.

Landon Mycles v Michael Vineland – Can-Am – Pro Sex Fight 1

If a date promised me that, for dessert, he’d treat me to an over-the-knee backbreaker, then just maybe I might associate Valentines Day with some sexual passion.

Mitch Colby v Patrick Donovan – BG East – Wrestler Spotlight – Mitch Colby

A jock strap, buckets of sweat, and a schoolboy pin lip lock are a so much more to the point than chocolates and lace and plastic-wrapped shrubbery. I hope today has something truly romantic and passionate in store for all of us, which will have absolutely nothing to do with Hallmark, FTD, or Godiva. It’s not that I’m not looking for romance. I just don’t think it comes to any of us tied up with a bow with the sales receipt in our pockets.

Crowning a New Champion

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It probably hardly needs mentioning, does it? I was so completely charmed by my interview with Lon Dumont that no one could be surprised to learn he’s reclaimed his title as my favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy division).

Since I stumbled across Rusty Stevens’ resignation from porn, the serious competition has been in the non-pornboy rankings, as far as I’m concerned (no disrespect intended toward Trent Diesel, of course). Joshua Goodman’s (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) last two matches have been stunningly erotic, even while still including no actual nudity. When Mr. Joshua decided to put bodyworship on the table, and invite a gym bunny admirer to wrestle for the pleasure of owning Mr. Joshua’s gorgeous body, that nudged him right over the top of inaugural title holder, Lon. But after having the opportunity to actually chat with Lon, there’s no doubt about it. He’s managed to body slam Mr. Joshua back into second place.

Mr. Joshua v Chico Valdez – Ring Rookies 2

I think it was the moment that Lon thanked me for noticing the fine way he fills out his wrestling trunks, that the title technically changed hands. He just has a graciousness about him with regard to my insistent adoration of his granite-carved physique that’s astonishingly sexy. As is abundantly evident in both the interview and Lon’s matches, he’s quick-witted and smart, and I wouldn’t be all that surprised to see him make an appearance competing on Jeopardy (and likely kicking ass there, as well). Graciousness and smarts as accessories to a competition bodybuilding body with years of hardworking wrestling experience? Hell, yeah! Lon Dumont is definitely the undisputed title holder in my book.

Lon Dumont v Terry O’Daly – Demolition 14

The only blemish on Lon’s BGE career thus far is the tag team loss he suffered at the brutal hands of Donnie Drake and rookie sidekick Doug Rand. I had intended on asking Lon more about this cloud hanging over his match record, but I was completely charmed by his passion for sharing his life with rescue animals. So, let me tally this us once more… graciousness, smarts, granite body carved by Michaelangelo, veteran wrestling savvy, AND sensitive, socially conscious animal lover!? My, oh my… Mr. Joshua, you’ve got your work cut out for you.

But back to Lon’s only match loss, the question I’d planned to ask Lon was about his tag team partner in that fated match, Chace LaChance. Personally, as a firmly established Lon fanatic, I’d think Lon would have had better odds of coming out on top taking on Donnie and Doug single-handedly. I thought that Chace brought almost nothing to the table other than his sweet, go-go boy muscles (which, let’s face it, fall into the category of “cute” next to the sliced and diced hardness and definition of Lon), his five-o-clock shadow, and that metaphorical target painted on his pretty, all-over-tanned ass that said, “Kick the shit out of me!” In fact, my take was the Chace was a net competitive loss for the LaChance/Dumont side of the equation (though he does bring plenty of “pretty” to enjoy).

Chace LaChance

Chace has been getting that sweet ass of his beaten left and right in his short tenure with BGE, so I don’t know if he’ll even have the audacity to show up again, particularly after his abject humiliation in a second appearance against Donnie Drake, where Donnie manhandles and mauls both Chace and Brent Salvo simultaneously and single-handedly (only further proving my point that Chace was clearly the weakest link when he teamed with Lon). But if Chace is still sniffing around for more BGE action, then I think Lon ought to re-open that wrestling school of his that he mentioned (and a can of whoop-ass) with Chace LaChance as his first pupil. Corporal punishment would definitely be standing orders.

Lon Dumont v Eddie Rey – Fantasymen 32

I suppose, when it comes right down to it, I’m not sure who wouldn’t make Lon look good. Perhaps Joe Robbins could fit the bill that Lon suggested might earn a victory over him, considering Joe is, indeed, right around 100 pounds heavier and over half a foot taller. But as I said to Lon, I pity any wrestler who thinks that’s the only thing it will take to defeat him. When it comes to who might be “foolish enough” to accept a forced-to-flex challenge from my favorite bodybuilder battler, I’d nominate Kid Karisma (who would NEVER believe that his muscles could be inferior to anyone’s), or perhaps a green rookie who needs initiated into the ring, like Attila Dynasty. Of course, it goes without saying that there’d be just about no bigger battle of egos than a Lon v Mr. Joshua face-off, but I still say that Mr. Joshua should devote himself exclusively to matches that involve wrestling amorous admirers intent on worshipping his body and tapping his ass, if they can defeat him. Much more of that from Mr. Joshua is his best chance at clawing his way back on top of Lon’s rippled abs and reclaiming the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler, non-pornboy division.

Someone is, at this very moment, complaining that Lon granting me an interview has unjustly swayed my rankings. Let me just emphasize that these favorite homoerotic wrestling rankings are always MY favorite homoerotic wrestling rankings. This is always about who’s turning me on and entertaining me the most, and hands down, that would be Lon these days. Of course, if there are any other contenders who’d like to even the playing field by giving me an interview, I’m more than happy to oblige! That said, it’ll be tough to charm me quite as much as my reigning homoerotic wrestling non-pornboy, Lon Dumont.

Making Somebody Happy

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Last night I had the great pleasure of getting the chance to interview one of my very favorite wrestlers, Lon Dumont. The interview offered some sweet surprises, including Lon’s connection with another prolific homoerotic wrestler and frequent subject of this blog, as well as an upcoming non-wrestling production that we’ll have an opportunity to appreciate Lon in, in addition to his plans to tape some more matches with BG East in the coming months. As you’ll see, below, Lon is one class act and a really good sport. And taking my hint about how much I obsess about his physique (almost as much as it sounds like he does!), Lon sent me some awesome photos of him working out and competing on stage, which I’ve included here (along with some of the pics from his BGE work) with the interview transcript.


Bard: So, what are you up to right now?
Lon: Watching Rocky III on AMC.
Bard: That’s fantastic! Who do you identify with in Rocky III?
Lon: (Laughing) I’ve always identified with the Stallion. Stallone is my idol.
Bard: Excellent. I don’t see you as a Mr. T sort of guy.
Lon: Maybe not, although Clubber Lang and I both train hard and enjoy our solitude.
Bard: Very interesting! Are you up for some questions now, or would you like to finish up with Mr. Balboa?
Lon: (Laughing) I’m ready, my friend…
Bard: I have to say again, to start, thanks so much for being willing to field some questions. This is a huge thrill!
Lon: No problem!
Bard: So, tell me that I’m not wrong in concluding that you showed up at BG East as a seasoned wrestler already. No rookie has the right to have the ring presence and savvy that you had in your first BG East match.
Lon: You would be correct. I was a professional wrestler for over eight years, and logged over 500 matches on the East coast in the states and Canada.
Bard: I’m not surprised in the least. How did you get connected with BG East?
Lon: I’ve been buddies with Cameron Mathews forever. I was his original pro wrestling trainer (though I had no right training students at the time!), and he and I really came up through the indy wrestling world together. Cameron had suggested BG East to me a few times, but I wasn’t comfortable with it. Certainly not because of what was expected of us in the matches, or who purchases the DVDs, but simply because I wasn’t in the shape I wanted to be in to appear in such a state of undress. I worked out at the time, but didn’t have the physique I do now. My wrestling singlet covered up my love handles quite well, something I wouldn’t be able to do with BG East!
Bard: Holy crap! You and Cameron have worked together? He’s a busy, busy boy!
Lon: He certainly is that, yes! Cameron and I have probably wrestled one another three or four dozen times, now.
Bard: Damn, that would be something I’d like to see. Perhaps we’ll see you two in action through BGE sometime.
Lon: Perhaps so.
Bard: Since you brought up your physique, and since that’s one of my favorite topics, how long have you been a competitive bodybuilder?
Lon: The day after my 33rd birthday in 2009, I started dieting for my first contest, which took place in June of that year (on the same day as my dog’s birthday, coincidentally). My most recent contest was in August of 2010, and I’m training hard for my next competition in October of this year. Thus far, I’ve been in five contests.
Bard: The photos I’ve seen recently of you on stage are truly stunning. What keeps you motivated for such a demanding sport?
Lon: What can I say? I have a truly obsessive personality! Perhaps someday I’ll obsess about something that’s more financially rewarding! For right now, though, bodybuilding is a huge part of my life. I just love the sport. I love seeing changes in my body. I love breaking past old barriers, and I love competing on stage. Dieting for and finishing out a show is the most satisfying feeling I can explain. I just love it.
Bard: Very cool. So what would you say is the best part of your physique at this point in your development. I’ve got my answer in mind, but what do you think?
Lon: Everybody makes a fuss about my abs, so I’ll have to go with those!
Bard: I, also, make quite a fuss about your abs, but I have to admit I was also thinking about the very fine way you have of filling out your trunks. But that’s probably not what gets you a 1st place on stage, eh?
Lon: (Laughing) I’m afraid not, no! But thanks for noticing.
Bard: Truly my pleasure (truly). So speaking of your awesome muscles, a reader of my blog wanted me to make sure and ask you if you have any plans for another forced-to-flex match with BG East. Your defeat and forced-to-flex humiliation on Eddie Rey made a really, really big impression on a lot of us.
Lon: Actually, yeah, I think that’s a great idea! I’ll just have to find someone foolish enough to accept my challenge. That shan’t be easy, ya’ know…
Bard: You’ve certainly taken a couple of big boys at BGE by surprise! I suppose they’ll all know that you’re coming, now that you’ve established the level at which you compete. I realize that you’re still pretty new with them, but do you have your eye on any of the BGE wrestlers that you’d like to get your hands on?
Lon: Not necessarily. I’m an equal opportunity humiliator! I regularly embarrass much bigger guys on the bodybuilding stage, so it only makes sense I should do it in BG east, as well.
Bard: Very nicely put. If you ever need suggestions, I’m full of them. So from what BGE has released of your work, I believe that you’re undefeated in 1-on-1 matches. Congratulations! What do you think it would take to defeat you 1-on-1?
Lon: Other than a freak act of mother nature? Hmmm, good question. Perhaps someone with a 100-pound weight advantage might have better luck, but besides that I just don’t see it happening.
Bard: Again, very nicely put. And I’d still feel a little sorry for the guy who thinks that a 100-pound weight advantage is all it will take. It seems to me that you have a knack for beating your opponents up “psychologically” just as much as you do physically. Would you say that “psychology” comes into play when you step into the ring and size up an opponent?
Lon: Absolutely. There’s also the fact that I’m flat-out more intelligent than nearly every guy I enter the ring with! I mean, Eddie Rey? Come on. The guy looks pretty, and all, but I wouldn’t want to see him on Jeopardy anytime soon.
Bard: I was just about to say that you seem quite a bit smarter than your average bear! Do you have any go-to approaches that you like to use when you climb into the ring (especially against one of the big boys)?
Lon: Nah, not really. Most of these guys are so dim-witted it doesn’t take a great deal of forethought. I might choose to isolate a body part, like I did with Eddie Rey, or just out maneuver the guy like I did Terry O’Daly. I’m also in better condition than most, so I can be pretty hard to tire out!
Bard: Again, I can certainly believe that. So what’s going through your mind when you see one of these guys flexing? I mean, with the competition quality physique you craft, what do you make of all the flexing we see in wrestling these days?
Lon: Well, some of the guys look great, and many are genetically gifted to be much, much larger than I. However, I have to wonder what some of these guys eat. Truly, some lack any sort of discipline whatsoever. As soon as they choose to go three months avoiding anything with flavor, then they’re free to flex!
Bard: That sounds like hard-earned advice. So, since I’ve managed to turn the conversation back to your body, do you mind me asking what your relevant measurements are? BGE tells us your height/weight… any other details you can offer?
Lon: Sure, I can do my best! What do they list my height and weight at?
Bard: They say you’re 5’7″ and at some point you were 150 pounds.
Lon: Hmmm, I suppose that’s pretty close! I think my height–quite literally–is 5’6-15/16″. My bodyweight fluctuates (it comes with the territory of bodybuilding), but 140 is probably closer to the truth. Of course, when you’re well-defined, you look larger than you actually are. As for measurements, my chest is about 40 inches, my waist goes as low as 28, and my upper arms are about 15 inches (16 when they’re pumped up). My thighs are around 24, and my calves and neck are both around 15 inches, as well.
Bard: I don’t typically find numbers sexy, but those are all working for me! Speaking of what works for me, a lot of my readers and I like to talk about “wrestling kink,” that is, wrestling as a turn on. What do you think about having a cadre of fans turned on by your work in the ring?
Lon: Eh, what the hell? What’s wrong with that? I think we’re WAY too uptight about “kink” and sexuality within our society; that’s one area in which I really wish we followed Europe’s lead a bit more. Whatever people get turned on by is fine with me, provided everyone is adults, and everyone is consenting! Why other people get bent out of shape about such things is beyond me. I’m just glad I can make somebody happy.
Bard: Speaking on behalf of a whole lot of us, you do, indeed, make us quite happy. You’ve been really generous with your time, so I hope I’m not pushing it if I ask just a couple more questions?
Lon: Absolutely not, my friend. I’m just chilling out on the couch with my dog!
Bard: That was going to be my next question! I couldn’t help but note that you mentioned that you have a dog (and that you know his birthday). I have a theory about guys who own dogs. I think when a guy owns a dog and really understands the responsibility that comes with being the “leader of the pack,” it makes him that much sexier and more skilled in knowing how to dominate in the wrestling ring. Any life lessons or wrestling lessons that you think you’ve acquired from being an alpha dog?
Lon: Well thank you! Animal welfare is a big, huge deal in my life. It has been for a few years now. I share my life with one dog and one cat, and I have rescued a few animals that live with my parents, too. Companion animals mean a ton to me, and always will. And I’m only an alpha dog with my canine companion! When I’m in the ring, I don’t need to act like the Big Man On Canvas (hey, that’s pretty clever!). In fact, I probably wrestle more like a cat than I do a canine!
Bard: Fascinating! Tell me more about why you think you probably wrestle more like a cat.
Lon: Because I wrestle arrogantly, aloofly, and always land on my feet. Unlike a dog, I couldn’t care less what my opponents think of me!
Bard: (laughing) I can totally get that. I’d put in a plug not to sell short the “wrestling like an alpha dog” angle too quickly, though. The way you schooled Eddie Rey, trained him patiently, and gave him a little “reward” for learning his lessons was totally alpha dog, in my mind. Every dog has to know his place in the pack, and you certainly taught him and Terry theirs!
Lon: (Laughing) Very true. I suppose I did.
Bard: So you have your next bodybuilding competition planned for next autumn. Anything else in store for you in the coming year? You mentioned to me that you think you may be on tap to tape some more matches with BGE?
Lon: I will definitely be wrestling more matches for BG East this year, yes. Fans will notice a little something different about me, though: a full head of hair! I recently took a leap of faith and stopped shaving my head for the first time in twelve years.
Bard: Holy crap! It’s probably a good thing you prepared us. While I have to admit that I particularly like your shaved head, I will keep an open mind, and I suspect that I’ll find plenty else to appreciate about your appearance.
Lon: Well, thus far I’ve gotten pretty much universal praise for the new look. Frankly, I think the hair makes me look a bit younger. But hey, I’ll let the fans judge!
Bard: Knowing the crowd I run in, we’ll be full of opinions to offer.
Lon: This year I’ll also be “starring” in a direct-to-DVD horror movie, one that might wind up featuring another BG East talent, as well. The filmmakers are hoping they might be able to work out a deal in which BG East would be the official distributor of a “director’s cut” of the film in which some additional footage features me in a way many BGE fans might truly appreciate! However, whether that’s something BGE might be interested in, I have no idea. That’ll be between the powers that be, and the makers of the film. Still, the movie will be something for fans to look forward to.
Bard: Oh… my… God. This is such a fantastic tease. I’m a big horror movie fan, and, as is obvious, I’m a huge fan of yours. The two things together could make me blow a blood vessel. I’m pulling for a BGE distribution and a gander at the additional footage of you that “BGE fans would appreciate.” Just those words will be haunting me now, damn it. However it’s distributed, you’ll let me know the instant we can get our hands on it, yes?
Lon: Yes, of course! It’ll be filmed this year; as for its exact release date, we’ll have to wait and see.
Bard: Fantastic! I just want to say again that you truly are a classy guy. You are as generous as you are smokin’ hot and devastating in the ring.
Lon: Thanks so much, man. The pleasure was all mine.
Bard: I hope I didn’t distract you too much from Rocky III. I can tell you how it ends, if you need me to.
Lon: (Laughing) We’ve moved on to Rocky IV. No WAY he beats Ivan Drago! The Russian is indestructible…
Bard: Ah! Dolph! Now there was a man of my fighting dreams!
Lon: (Laughing)
Bard:  Enjoy. I’ll be in touch soon!
Lon: You got it, buddy. Thanks again.

In the Ropes

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These days, I’m getting worked over pretty hard. I’m working my ass off, just managing to stay on my feet. And, wouldn’t you know it, just when I find myself backed into the ropes, some nasty heel villain uses those very same ropes to work me over that much harder.
KV v Ken Mason (assisted by KL) – Tag Team Torture 1
Metaphorically, this makes my day-to-day life these days suck. On the other hand, literally, when someone uses the ring ropes to take advantage of an already battered hunk, that does not suck (at least not for the heel or for me, watching). Turning the set into an integral prop to tell the story is, in fact, a major turn on for me, further explaining my particular preference for ring action.
Brigham Bell v Patrick Donovan – Hunkbash 5
Sliced to hell and mean as a king cobra, Brigham Bell pretty much always used the ropes, and most of the time he took full advantage by not only capturing his hunks in the ropes, but then head scissoring them at the same time. Illustrated so delightfully in his ring action with Patrick Donovan, ultra-lean, muscled bodies put on artistic display is the icing on the cake. The cake itself, of course, is the completely gratuitous humiliation of an already suffering hunk. To capture 6’1″ pec-tacular Patrick so defenselessly, so vulnerably, and then to squeeze Patrick’s handsome face humiliatingly between Brigham’s tightly corded thighs… talk about the climax of a story!
Brad Rochelle v Patrick Donovan – Wrestlefest 2
Patrick, Patrick, Patrick… early in his BG East career, Patrick frequently occupied the restraints of the ring ropes. He just suffered so sweetly! It’s no wonder that opponent after opponent reveled in beating him down and then tying him up to not only soak up more punishment, to also have his ego crushed as decisively as his hot, long, gorgeous body. On his way to being awarded Rookie of the Year in Wrestlefest 2 (I vote for more Wrestlefests!), Brad Rochelle slapped Patrick into what I think, objectively speaking, is the hottest bit of ring rope torture ever captured on camera. Hunk-on-hunk, stunning body on stunning body, handsome face squaring off against handsome face, and Brad taking a foreshadowing turn to the dark side to lock Patrick’s throat between the bottom to ropes and then boston crag his legs, sitting his fine (fine, fine, fine, fine) ass down across Patrick’s shoulders to choke him that much more. 

Brad Rochelle v Dom the Dominator – Demolition 3

Brad, Brad, Brad… of course, any regular reader of this blog is already fully immersed in the drama of Brad Rochelle’s BGE career, as his fratboy face and go-go boy muscles went through years of jobbing, suffering like perhaps none other, not infrequently himself trapped in the very same ropes with which he’d humiliated Patrick and won rookie of the year. Dom’s boot in his ass and his back cranked backward over the top rope, Brad’s rope-suffering illustrates what is the tastiest pay off of all with rope work: the stunning body of a hunk displayed so fully and vulnerably.

Rio Garza v Donnie Drake v “Trevor” Mathews – Pro Bashed Triple Threat
I noticed in recent pics from Can-Am’s new (upcoming?) release, Pro Bashed Triple Threat, that Rio Garza is on the receiving end of some tasty hunk rope punishment at the hands of Donnie Drake. This is, perhaps, the best representation of my own subjective experience at the moment. Clearly outmuscled and at the mercy of a nasty, big, brick house bastard, like Rio under the control of Donnie Drake, I’m getting pried backward and pounded on with nothing to do but take it and look pretty (I can pull that off, too).
As I whine, just a bit, about my own woes (I can sell suffering when it’s my turn), I find some comfort in the sight of some beautiful hunks getting tied up and beat down with the assistance of the ropes. Well, okay, so perhaps “comfort” isn’t the word. But it does, somehow, make the nasty heels in my own life a little more tolerable when I spend a little time admiring the aesthetics and erotics of homoerotic wrestling heels taking the picture frame itself and choking the daylights out of the stunning portrait of a musclehunk in the middle.

Battling Brothers

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Homotrophy keeps delighting me, lately. These pics of “Eric” from the Sweat Underwear collection (a collection designed with you and me in mind, clearly) caught and held my attention. This is hardly surprising, since Eric is quite a hot hunk. But there was something more, some bell ringing in the back of my head. Finally, I figured out what connections were getting made in my subconscious. You may not see the resemblance, and if so, keep it to yourself (don’t kill my buzz!). But personally, I think Eric looks a lot like my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (nonpornboy), BG East’s own, Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!).

With you, my discerning reader, in mind, I conducted an extensive visual inspection of everything I could get a hold of for Eric and for Mr. Joshua. It was grueling, painstaking work, I tell you, but I’m committed to your enlightenment. I finally decided that I don’t think that Eric is, indeed, Mr. Joshua in a clever underwear model disguise. And I’m happy to say that Mr. Joshua doesn’t have Eric’s nipple piercings, because that just always seems a dangerous accessory in a homoerotic wrestler. No, rather than a doppelganger, I think Eric is more like Mr. Joshua’s hot brother or first cousin. Similar face, very similar body (if Mr. J is a tad harder and bigger), and after agonizingly labored inspection with my zoom, I have to say that it looks entirely possible that Eric has a package that very well could be in the same (extremely exclusive and astonishingly impressive) league with Mr. J’s.
I’m always a sucker for the sexy brother/cousin tag team gimmick. I saw through this gimmick about the time that I watched them try to sell Lance as a “Von Erich.” Frankly, I always assumed Kerry must’ve looked a lot like the milk man, but Lance? There’s no way that came from the same corner of the gene pool. But it was the story that made me suspend my disbelief. It was the layering of drama, along with the side by side multiplication of beauty, that made me feel some extra loving for battling brothers/cousins. 
I think Eric looks like he could be game for some hot, sweaty action, BGE-style, don’t you? Mr. Joshua ought to bring his “little” brother, Mr. Eric, along for a tag team bout. At some point, there would need to be side-by-side standing head scissors on their poor (lucky, lucky, lucky) opponents, as the brother’s simultaneously shove their big hands down the front of their trunks to adjust the oversized luggage they both carry. And because everything Mr. Joshua does from now on MUST continue the fantastic theme of body worship, ala his smoking hot recent mat romp with rookie Randy Stanton, the Mr. Goodman Brothers team would certainly work themselves into a frenzy by soaking in the awed adoration of their opponents. They’ll probably want to trade worshippers at some point. Mr. Joshua will probably demand some double-team worship, because his ego is just that big. Mr. Eric would feel disrespected. Resentment would grow. And a fantastic, deeply personal wrestling grudge would blossom.

Recipe for Success

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From photographer Michael Stokes (from me to you via Homotrophy), comes this morsel of wrestling kink allusion baked just to my tastes. The rocking physique… the singlet on it’s way off, the truly stunning tats. Who is this vision ripped from a dream that I haven’t yet dreamt (but soon will)?!

Okay, so perhaps if this was truly made to order, this slice of picture-perfect beef would be climbing into a pro wrestling ring. He could keep the amateur gear on. I can totally nurse some kink-loving for the hot jock amateur stud who thinks he can bring his hard body bulging out of his  alma mater’s singlet into the pro ring and teach some “showman” what real wrestling is about. In fact, I love that culture clash of pursed-lipped, hardbodied, earnest innocence with seasoned, jaded, as-vicious-as-I-need to be experience. “The initiation” motif, opening up the merely imagined realities of a pro beat down on the muscleboy here to conquer the world, never, ever tires me, in fact.
There’s another singlet shot of this chiseled work of art on the photographer’s site (along with a dozen other aesthetically pleasing bodies in various states of undress-mostly-undressed and aroused), as well as this fig-leaf modesty pick of him on the football field. Me not being a fan of football, this pick, while delightful, is only kink-adjacent. Slap this inked, naked god into the ring, and speaking of slapping, a spanking would be absolutely essential.
Damn.

Porn Sunday

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In honor of the excellent concept of Porn Sunday, here are a few retailers that you might consider supporting today…

Billy Lodi v Skip Vance – BGE X-Fights 33

BG East’s X-iest new release is X-Fights 33, pitting twink buddies Skip Vance and Billy Lodi. Billy fiercely conquers and then tenderly rewards Skip. Looking for some mat wrestling, jerks, sucks, kissing and cum to celebrate Porn Sunday?

Sebastian Keys v Jake Austin – Naked Kombat

Naked Kombat’s newest release will treat you to Jake Austin determined not to lose his ass yet again against buzz cut Sebastian Keys. Jake’s fate is, of course, to get owned, spanked, and fucked 5 ways to Porn Sunday.

Landon Myclse v Michael Vineland – Can-Am Pro Sex Fight 1

For my tastes, Can-Am’s X-iest and best new release is Pro Sex Fight 1, starring the wrestling pornboy stylings of previous homoerotic wrestler of the month, Landon Mycles, and Can-Am work horse Michael Vineland. This offers a delightful recipe of pro wrestling, erotic wrestling, and mutually satisfying sex in the middle of the ring.

Trent Diesel v Hugo Milano – Raging Stallion’s Brutal Part 2

If you’re looking for more porn (it is, Porn Sunday, after all) in your porn/wrestling mix, you might want to celebrate the day with a purchase of Raging Stallion’s Brutal. My reigning favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy, Trent Diesel, wrestles and fucks and fucks and fucks, among a non-stop, 2-part, pornboy after pornboy pornfest.

Cody Nelson v Max Powers – Rock Hard Wrestling

Less porn, but no perhaps more up your alley to celebrate Porn Sunday, includes Rock Hard Wrestling (you’d think with a name like that there might be more porn), and their just out release of new Mr. Franchise, Cody Nelson going muscle to muscle in the ring with Max Powers.

Conan v Johnny Bravo – Thunder’s Arena

Or you may want to see some big, big, big muscleboy’s wrestle in less-than-porn fun over at Thunder’s Arena, where Johnny Bravo pounds the bodybuilder pecs of Australian blond bombshell, Conan.

Trent Diesel – Reigning Favorite Homoerotic Wrestling Pornboy

I’m a booster. That’s pretty much what I have to offer, and so I’m fully in favor of a lot of us showing some love to the hardworking boys in front of and behind the camera, bringing us orgasm after orgasm of entertainment by celebrating Porn Sunday with a special purchase, dedicated to our favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboys. No shame. No way.