Wet & Wild Meets Wrestlefest

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Wade Cutler’s Glorious Ass!

Congratulations to Rudolph for correctly fingering the mystery ass in yesterday’s post as belonging to Wade Cutler. I’ll consult with Rudolph about what topic he’d like some attention devoted to on the blog.  In the mean time, I’d like to take a moment to consider fluid.

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The Cheshire Cat smiles in control of dangerously sexy Skrapper.

Water, specifically.  BG East’s newest catalog features a Wet & Wild release (#7, for those counting) that is unlike any I’ve seen before.  This has the feel of Wet & Wild meets Wrestlefest, which, in my estimation, dials up the hotness of a Wet & Wild release about 34.6 times.  We saw preview shots of these shenanigans smuggled out from OMI (Our Man Inside) last fall.  I thought it was probably just the hot boys of  BG East blowing off some steam (perhaps each other) in between matches.  Little did I realize the fun in the pool would become it’s own full length feature.

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Trey gets acquainted with rookie heel Kayden Keller’s hot thighs and crotch.

Specifically featured are Mason Brooks, Trey Dixon, Ty Alexander, Kayden Keller, Drake Marcos and Skrapper.  Three of these hot numbers have graced the pages of this blog with interviews, and I’d donate a redundant internal organ to nail interviews with the other three.  The combat side of the poolside fun starts with a game of “chicken” (at least, that’s what we called it when we played it in the pool as kids).  Ty Alexander mounts Kayden Keller(‘s shoulders) and Drake Marcos mounts Mason Brooks(‘ shoulders) to see who can unseat whom.  Play turns to elimination submission wrestling, with head-to-heads featuring Kayden v Ty, Kayden v Skrapper, Skrapper v Drake, Skrapper v Trey, and Trey v Mason.

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Ripped Trey puts the rookie heel Kayden in his place.

I’ve gone on the record about being lukewarm about pool wrestling productions in the past, mostly due to so much fine skin remaining unseen underwater.  The boys of Wet & Wild 7 largely take care of that problem by taking the action above the surface, including writhing racks, OTK backbreakers kneeling on the pool steps, and a whole lot of humiliating head scissors perched on the pool deck.  This Wrestlefest version of W&W also features a delightful display of personalities that I sometimes find missing among the sputtering and splashing of pool matches.  Kayden’s predator face cuts straight to the bone as he eats rookie Ty alive (yum!).  Drake’s ever-present smile is beaming as he ambushes Trey from behind (only to be erased as Trey humiliates him later), and Mason’s supremely confident smirk nearly makes all competition wither by itself.  Like all pool shenanigans, there are egos displacing more water than bodies, and I adore both the bodies and the personalities getting dunked and crushed equally.

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Trey shows off the tanned, impeccably toned physique that just humiliated young Kayden. Who’s next, chumps!?

The epiphany in this match for me personally is Trey.  I’ve admired his incredibly sexy bod plenty before now.  His Passion and Punishment mat match with Skrapper (for which, I’m assuming, their head-to-head in the pool must have been mere foreplay) gives me a fever just thinking of his ripped glutes flexing and covered in sweat under Skrapper’s relentless waves of offense.  But when Trey manages to eliminate Skrapper from the impromptu king of the pool tournament, I’m genuinely shocked.  But when Trey stretches out his arms, showing off his ripped muscles and glaring with icy cockiness, daring Mason to take his best shot, I am completely, entirely, knees-buckling sold.

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Too much cocky invites double-teaming!

The Mason v Trey head-to-head turns into a best of three falls, interrupted by a melee of double-teaming brutality in which every boy at poolside gets into the action.  I love a gloves-off, rules-be-damned moment when a cocky hunk pushes his luck too far and gets teamed up on and humiliated, so I’ve got so much love for Wet & Wild 7!  In this lean and luscious weight class of BG East, nobody is quite dominant enough to defend against a pack of hungry contenders, so watching these studs gang up on and humble the pack leaders is sweetly satisfying.  But eventually, Trey and Mason are left standing, and Trey insists on riding the wave to a best of 3 come from behind victory.

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Trey is either going to snap off Mason’s head with those powerful thighs or drill a hole through his skull with that clenched-jaw-laser-focused stare of total domination.

It goes all three falls, happily.  I feast for days on the sight of either Mason’s pumped pecs or Trey’s mouthwatering abs so masterfully displayed by each one’s opponent.  The combination of back and forth dominance, however, is glorious!  I’ve got to push rewind and watch it all over again when Mason is completely at Trey’s mercy, staring face/mouth first at Trey’s package in a spectacular face-to-crotch headscissors with Trey’s beautiful, tanned, toned body stretched out across the pool deck.  Then again, I require an instant replay when Mason latches on a figure-4 choke on the deck, simultaneously showing off his own beautiful ass and his opponent’s hotly muscled, completely owned body. Hot damn!

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Mason ties up his challenger, perfectly showing off both of their hot, wet bodies.
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Bad to worse, Mason crushes Trey’s balls and batters his spine in an OTK backbreaker across the pool steps.
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The look of delight perfectly matches the total mastery Mason has over every mouthwatering inch of struggling Trey Dixon!

 

There’s a winner, though Skrapper is, not surprisingly, ready to fight it out all over again to contest the victory.  But then again, everyone’s a winner as the boys top the hill of hot competition and coast headlong into full on passion in the middle of the pool.  The affection is absolutely genuine, without a doubt.  The open lust is obvious and needs little sell to deliver.  Poolside Wrestlefest turns into full on orgy!? Okay, okay, okay!  I’m duly chastised.  Wet & Wild 7 absolutely convinces me that pool wrestling can be outstandingly sexy!

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This was all heading just one place: pool orgy.

Name That Ass

I’m back from a well-earned vacation and reconnected to internet access. For Throw Back Thursday (or is that so 20 minutes ago?), I’m sending up an homage to one of my favorite pastimes of years gone by: the Name That Ass game.  Readers who’ve been with neverland a while, or who’ve scoured the archives, will remember that for a season or two I used to put up the homoerotic wrestling version of the old, old game show, “Name That Tune” (just dated myself, I know).  However, this is neverland, so the “tune” was close ups of the luscious asses of homoerotic wrestlers (or occasionally cocks, but mostly asses).  I’m resurrecting the gimmick with a twist today.  Be the first person to name that ass in the comments of this post if you’d like me to attend to a personal homoerotic wrestling infatuation of yours.  You see, I regularly get “requests” from readers to devote a post to a particular wrestler, a specific hold, a notable body part, a categorical gear choice, a favorite match, etc.  I typically try to be encouraging but non-committal, because I have the attention span of a tsetse fly.  More often than not, I forget, and the request gets buried in my inbox along with my best intentions.   So if you have a particular topic you’d like me to post on, take a look at the amazing ass below.  Study it well.  Enlarge the photo as necessary.  Lick the screen if it helps.  Whatever it takes, be the first person to identify this beautiful bubble butt belonging to a perpetual infatuation of mine (and many, many of others), and you get to name a topic for me to opine on.  And I’ll really do it, I swear.

So with the limited clues above and below, name that ass…

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Hot off the presses!

The weekend I leave home for vacation, BG East goes live with Catalog 104.1!  Damn!  There’s a lot of eye candy I’m already enjoying on the website.  I’ve had a chance to enjoy a couple of the new releases already, but  I’m not sure if I’ll be able to give any of these fine offerings a fuller treatment before I get back.  Damn, damn, damn! There’s some fine temptations here!

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Muscle sandwich! Mr. Joshua Goodman takes it from the front and the back going 2-on-1 against Braden Charron and Brad Barnes in Tag Team Torture 18.
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Cameron Matthews glistens with a bashed Lorenzo “Jake” Lowe draped across his shoulders in Submissions 9.
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Instant top tier entry into the Fantasymen category, Big Barry Burke brings the muscle in Ring Rookies 4.
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Guido Genatto appears to completely humiliate cocky stud Jake Jenkins in Demolition 17.
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Jonny Firestorm appears to be about to rip the head off of Nick Rush in Demolition 17.
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Jayden Mayne is in a world of hurt against Charlier Panther in Demolition 17.
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Drake Marcos, who has yet to deliver on the Christmas present he supposedly has picked out for me from last year, looks like he’s getting owned by one of the most babyfaced babyface rookies, Ty Alexander, in Babyface Brawl X.
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Thing appear to get delightfully wet and wild with a bevy of babyface beauties in Wet ‘N’ Wild 7.

Do you know who the fuck I am!?

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Exploring UCW is like trying to enter a complex conversation already well underway.  UCW has a championship title, which is a bit of drama I love.  I enjoy keeping the competitive angle in even the most homoerotic of wrestling.  At the moment, Eli Black is the “All-Star Champion” of UCW, which is hardly surprising.  Eli  has always been up front about his designs to conquer homoerotic wrestling, not just by beating every opponent he can get his hands on, but by singlehandedly taking over the back offices as well.  Eli’s ambitions are matched only by his extreme dangerousness in combat.  Just ask Michael Hannigan and Johnny Deep.

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Eli starts to clean house before the opening bell.

This is way back in match #332, mind you, but I’m still making my way through the UCW catalog, so excuse me for reporting old news.  I infer from the opening dialogue that Michael Hannigan was, at the time, the championship title holder.  I also surmise that guest “referee” Johnny Deep is a past opponent of Eli’s.  In short, from the start, Eli is staring down two opponents that despise him (the feelings are completely mutual), with the title belt on the line.  If it were any ordinary mortal, I’d say bad fucking luck, buddy.  But this is Eli we’re talking about, so let me turn my attention to Michael and Johnny when I say, bad fucking luck, buddies!

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Trampling 69

Not really knowing the full blown characters in this mix (and they are definitely a set of characters!), I’m guessing that this was always going to turn nasty and unfair.  So perhaps it’s not so much that Eli deserves the blame for going dark first, as much as he did unto others before they had a chance to do unto him.  In the opening moments of the match, Eli absolutely devastates his actual opponent and the referee.  I mean, completely destroys them.  I’m discovering a hardcore intensity to UCW that Eli embodies beautifully, delivering strikes and take downs that don’t just level the other boys, but make me gasp as well. Damn, I’m pretty sure a couple minutes in that Eli is going to literally wipe the mat with both of these boys without breaking a sweat.

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Eli has his hands full!

A word about the eye candy before I continue on with what moves me about the action.  Eli is pristinely Eli.  It’s not for naught that Eli keeps winning Best Abs at BG East.  As I watch him take on two punks simultaneously, I keep marveling at his incredible athleticism.  He’s whittled down to steel muscles and skin, although his ass (as Eli will be first to tell you) is a perfect balance of form and function.  The “ref” (in name only) Johnny Deep wears baggy shorts and a referee shirt throughout, so I can’t say anything about his bod.  He is a despicably punk ass bitch, however.  I’m just fine saying that.  He’s a vile opportunist, jumping in at only the moments when either 1) he can tip the tables in Michael’s favor, or 2) Eli is helpless to defend himself against a smirking, chuckling, sadistic interloper.  Michael Hannigan, however, is a bit of an epiphany for me.  He’s long and lean. Not nearly the world class leanness of Eli, of course, but a pretty thing to look at nonetheless.  But when he turns around… bam!  That ass!  Holy shit!  It may not be as brutally honed for combat as Eli’s, but it is a mouthwatering work of art.  Turn the champ back around and it’s impossible not to notice that he’s got a protruding package perfectly accentuated by his trunks.  His cheating viciousness doesn’t make me despise him as much as Johnny, and I’m just guessing that my infatuation with everything stuffed in Michael’s trunks are what is swaying my opinion.

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Vile Johnny has his left hand full.

My favorite moments in the action include Eli grabbing Michael by the hair and flinging him face first into Johnny’s crotch.  I’m also infatuated with the sequence that starts with Michael and Johnny applying side-by-side single leg crabs on Eli, with vile Johnny adding insult to injury by reaching down and twisting the fuck out of Eli’s balls.  Eli screams and writhes, until suddenly he reaches back with both hands and simultaneously claws both tormentors by the balls, flipping them over to their backs.

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Once again, Eli has his hands full.

Another highlight for me is when Michael is controlling Eli’s legs from behind and Johnny slides into place with glee to slap on a humiliating face-to-crotch head scissors.  The ref is quite literally in mid-laugh, with Eli’s face buried deep, when Johnny abruptly starts to scream in a panic.  Eli has chomped down, teaching the ref just how dangerous he can be!

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Johnny Deep probably won’t try this hold on Eli again anytime soon.

The pace is exhausting. The hits are brutal. The egos are bashed and bloodied.  Those who follow UCW more closely than I have already know that the title does not change hand in this match (though since Eli is currently listed as the champ, I surmise it does eventually).  But this is all about the incredible sell of Eli Black, as far as I’m concerned.  “Do you not know who the fuck I am!?”  Eli screams near the end of the match after deftly dodging a standing drop kick from Michael.  “Are you fucking serious!?  You dumb piece of shit!”  This reminds me of a truism that Eli texted me once.  This is Eli Black’s world, bitches.  We’re just living in it.

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Eli is assaulted from every angle.

Michael “wins” by having his unconscious body dragged on top of Eli by the ref for the 3-count after Johnny has, yet again, sucker punched Eli and knocked him out cold.  In other words, by the skin of their teeth, both Michael Hannigan and Johnny Deep were just barely able to squeak out a victory and escape entirely in tact.  The personalities are massive. The wrestling is over the top and deeply convincing at the same time. And I am totally provoked by all three of these game young studs, in different ways, for every second of the 28 minute match.

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The “win.”

The Tease

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The Best Tease: Mr. Joshua Goodman

I love/hate a hot tease. I think the best/worst tease in homoerotic wrestling continues to be Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!), for constantly calling attention to his gargantuan package but never giving a glimpse of the monster beneath. I used to place Jobe Zander up there in the rankings of most heartless tease in homoerotic wrestling until a helpful reader pointed out to me his “masterpiece” is unveiled in a solo jerk off appearance in Can-Am’s Hard Heroes title Troubled Tights (which I still need to see).  There are plenty of other homoerotic wrestlers who milk me/the suspense viciously with a cruel tease. Among them I count dreamy Rio Garza for that luxuriously hot body getting pummeled to a pulp repeatedly, but somehow never losing his trunks, and pendulous Pretty Pete Sharp who, like Mr. J, sports a mammoth bulge that screams, SCREAMS for someone to grab hold with both hands (it’s a two fister, for sure), but somehow, unbelievably, no one has.

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First glimpse of Ty Alexander and Kayden Keller (left) before their BG East debut a month later.

When it comes to the heartless tease, of course there are entire homoerotic companies that choose to wear that mantle by marketing primarily to the gay wrestling kink audience without ever explicitly acknowledging the homoeroticism they invoke.  I keep a candle lit that one day Rock Hard Wrestling and Thunder’s Arena, for example, will openly dive into the kink they tease, and I suppose the unrequited, underground wrestling tease is a marketing device for building and holding the tension, as we wait and wonder if they’ll step over the line finally.  From an entirely different angle, Our Man Inside (OMI) at BG East has been working the tease like no other for the past 6 months or so, sneaking out behind-the-scenes photos of BGE boys between matches, including previewing never-before-seen newbies yet to see the light of day in official release.  You may remember that’s how we “met” beautiful bon-bon Ty Alexander and smoldering heel-at-conception Kayden Keller.  Kid Leopard himself gave neverland an exclusive tease of BG East’s new Florida campus and, at the same time, previewed now established monster-muscle heel Lane Hartley and go-go boy extraordinaire, Kip Sorell.  Stroking the buzz ahead of release is a sweet moment in sex, and I for one think it has the potential to translate most excellently to the PR of homoerotic wrestling promotion as well.

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MDW teases us with handsome muscle hunk Mutant

New kids on the block, Muscle Domination Wrestling, have lubed up and are rubbing out an exquisitely tantalizing tease of a new addition to their roster, Mutant.  MDW’s VIP lounge members can peruse this incredible specimen of a muscle hunk in detail, and I’ve provided a few examples of Mutant’s beauty here as well.  Mutant is about 5’11” and 225 pounds of insanely hot, hard, low hanging muscle with lickable ink on his left pec, right upper arm, and right obliques.  Where do these stats come from, you might ask?  MDW hasn’t told us anything about Mutant yet.  But this isn’t Mutant’s first toe-dip into homoerotic wrestling.  He’s also battled down in Florida for Thunder’s Arena nearly ripping fantasy twink Tak’s head off in Battlespace 69 (which for the numbering, I was hoping for something much more explicit).

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Mutant looks like he can tease with the best of them.

I think there’s most definitely a place for tease-marketing, because I love getting my appetite whetted just enough to make me drool like a Mastiff every second until I can match up the reality to where my imagination has taken me.  I’m not so much a fan of entire tease companies walking the line, but a sweet preview to get our blood boiling like these shots from MDW are tons of fun. Please, oh please tell me that Mutant is about to meet hairy he-man Chace LaChance in a rip, strip, and oil barnburner.  Once Chace has made Mutant his bitch, please let’s see a daddy/boy tag team against just about anyone, but I’d give my left nut for it to be Muscle Master Kevin and an obedient Damien Rush.  Just the thought of what might be is getting me very hot and bothered.  See what a skillful tease can do!?

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Thumbs down his trunks, Mutant teases plenty more to come!

Should the Opportunity Arise

There’s been a pretty insane rush to marry around my neck of the woods this weekend.  Another judge determines that blatant discrimination enshrined at any level of state law is bullshit, and the flood gates bust open. Despite my long-standing skepticism about the impact of same-sex marriage on liberty, and the screwed up priorities of aggressively pushing for marriage rights while we have no universal fair employment or housing rights, I must admit it’s quite an adrenaline rush to see moes lined up to marry.  I can almost literally feel domesticity creep over me.  The taming of same-sex partnerships, shoe-horning the vast diversity of them into the constraints of acceptable heterosexual expectations threatens even my more radical commitments to the need for revolution rather than reform.  With negotiated fidelity on the line, in the face of closeting the all-male menage a trios, the couples that date thirds, the contractual anything-goes-out-of-town loving relationships, I can just feel the gravitational pull of whitebread hetero monogamy built on centuries of religious strictures consuming us alive.  As a personal commitment to keep the “alternative” in gay, let me just affirm for me and my special someone (who reads these pages, even though we never really talk about them) a few of the wrestling hunks for whom a legally “libertarian” inclusion into the structure of one-man-one-man loving would be instantly out the window, should the opportunity arise for some extracurricular (or, hell, three-way) activities.  I’m sure absolute monogamy is great for many, but here’s a sample of who could climb into my/our bed anytime.

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Mitch Colby… he’s all mine!
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Darius… I’d share him with my partner.
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Landon Conrad… I think I’d have to have him all to myself, or possibly with another one of his gorgeous pornboy stud buddies.
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Trey Dixon and Skrapper… I’d be the filling in that sandwich anytime!
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Cameron Matthews… I’d have zero inhibitions faced with him!
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Kid Karisma… all mine.
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Marcus Ruhl… more than enough to share with this massive hunk of muscle.
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Logan Vaughn… I’d need some private time with those gargantuan thighs.
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Chris Xaos… me, my partner, and ever Britboy wrestling hunk we can find can pile on!

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

I’m a few days late in taking the crown of homoerotic wrestler of the month off of the handsome brow of Dr. Austin Cooper and placing it on a new honoree.  Perhaps I’ve been reluctant to move on from Austin-as-heel.  Perhaps I’m afraid he’ll kick my ass.  In any case, I’m stepping up to the plate today to peruse the new releases in homoerotic wrestling published in the month of May to pick one wrestler who grabbed me hardest.  Without further ado, the new reigning neverland homoerotic wrestler of the month is…

 

 

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…Chace LaChance.

I’ve been attentive to Chace’s career since I first saw him team up with long-time favorite Lon Dumont over at BG East in Tag Team Torture 12.  Chace is nothing… nothing like he was in those early days of his career.  For one thing, he’s added another 50% of bodyweight, at least 20% of which is contained in his gargantuan pecs.  I used to refer to Chace as a go-go boy, but these days he looks like he swallowed a go-go boy as an appetizer. Over the years he’s grown increasingly illustrated, with ink now extending almost the length of his mammoth right arm.  And here in his Hairy He Men match at Muscle Domination Wrestling, he’s put down the razor and let the hair grow on this gorgeous pecs and abdomen.  Muscleboy. Ink. Fur. Heel?!  I’m just referring to him as Chace “Made to Order” LaChance now!

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Tony Law adorably insists that his physique is the best in the house.

A word about his opponent.  There are moments when I just want to pinch adorable Tony Law’s cheeks.  Such is the case when he opens this match by flexing and announcing, “I think I have the best physique in the house.  And I want anyone to come challenge that right now!”  It’s clear that Tony knows what’s coming from the way he bites his lower lip.  He knows he’s full of shit. And he knows he’s about to get pummeled by the mountainous, mouthwatering muscles of Chace LaChance.  Everyone. EVERYONE at MDW has beat Tony’s sweet ass, of course.  But damn it all if I don’t find myself wishing that the epic farmboy jobber learned a lesson or two and earned some respect along the way.  However, it’s not today, my friends.  Not today.

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Tony keeps insisting on tests of strength with completely overpowering Chace.

The boys slap down their proverbial dicks when Chace calls attention to what I find most eye catching and provocative about his appearance: his awesome coat of hair across his torso.  He refers to Tony’s modest patch of upper chest hair as “pussy fuzz” in comparison.  “Outrageous!” Tony snarls, his masculinity insulted.

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Chace’s full nelson almost snaps Tony’s arms off at the shoulder. And get a load of that ass!

“Outrageously great, I understand,” cocky Chace flexes his mammoth bicep in Tony’s face.  Tony seems most intent on proving that he can defy the odds in one test of strength after another.  Chace smirks and chuckles each time they lock up and the behemoth swats Tony away like a horsefly.  He peppers the story throughout with both physical and emotional attacks, regularly calling attention to Tony’s baby smooth body and suggesting an inherent inferiority in comparison to Chace’s manliness.

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Bear trap.

There’s so much about Chace’s physique to commend him to this month’s title, but in addition to the aforementioned awesome pecs, biceps, and abs, that massive slab of beef that is his muscled ass is breathtaking.  And those gargantuan, hairy legs!  Holy crap, what a specimen!  Muscleboy wannabe Tony absolutely shrinks in comparison, and when Chace locks those telephone pole thighs around him, Tony wriggles like a helpless fish on the line.

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Chace doubles down on the body scissors, demonstrating just how wrong Tony was to believe that he had the best physique in the house.

The camera work in Hairy He Men is either too avant garde for me, or else it’s just a bit “off.”  There’s a ton of focus on suffering Tony, but weirdly, epically hot Chace is frequently partially cut out of the frame.  Perhaps it’s intended to emphasize how huge he is (as in, he’s so big our camera can’t quite capture him all at once!).  And of course there are those for whom the turn on is precisely watching Tony’s face turn beet red and twisted in agony, so shortchanging a look at Chace is fine.  As someone who tends toward infatuation with the pitcher, however, I’m a bit frustrated for the lack of lingering looks at devastatingly hot Chace.

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Chace repeatedly attempts to pry Tony apart at the seams.

I’ve been critical of MDW for shortchanging the wrestling in their wrestling matches, as they sometimes tend to favor the drama, domination, and muscle torture more.  Chace brings a sweet focus on the kink I love, however.  His go-to is, curiously, a sort-of bow and arrow that I swear has got to have added inches to the length of Tony’s right leg and right arm.  Mammoth, hairy bear bearhugs and back and gut abuse maintain a pleasing pace in the combat.  However, I feel compelled to point out a familiar refrain in my reviews of MDW: this is a total, complete, unadulterated squash.  Those left yawning at one-way streets will likely not be provoked by this as much as I am.  I think MDW still has more to learn in taping homoerotic wrestling that tells the compelling story of competition that teeters on the edge, of battles that are nuanced and suspenseful.

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Like me, Chace likes what he sees. All hail never land’s reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month!

There’s no suspense in Hairy He Men.  Chace is THE Hairy He Man this day. Tony Law is ground into dust.  Chace LaChance is sexier than I think I’ve ever seen him. And in the field of new releases in May, it’s Chace who grabs not only Tony, but me as well, in claiming the title of never land’s homoerotic wrestler of the month.

Making Jake

I had a moment of OCD wash over me when I noticed recently that I only made it about 2/3rds of the way through the alphabet in my homage to the remarkable range of one of my perennial favorite homoerotic wrestlers, Jake Jenkins.  So today I plug away at completing the course in the relatively easy section of the alphabet.  Making Jake…

 

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P is for pose, which Jake saves for side-by-sides with golden boy buddy Austin Cooper.

… pose.  Lot’s of wrestlers are provoked to pose by a sneering, flexing opponent, but not so much Jake.  Jake tends to really pose only when his good buddy Austin Cooper teams up with him for a babyface tag team battle, like they did in Tag Team Torture 15.  Jake’s body is a work of art crafted out of just plain hard work, so its understandable that the devastatingly handsome hunk would prefer to save his strength for applying those muscles to the work of pummeling an opponent.  But thanks to camaraderie and showmanship, it’s a pleasure to see Austin make Jake pose.

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Q is for “quit,” the very word cocky Austin Cooper leans in close to listen for as he nearly rips Jake’s head off.

 

…quit.  Then again, it always hasn’t been a blushing bromance between golden boy Austin Cooper and Jake.  When they first arrived at BG East, shit hit the fan when egos and mouthwatering muscles were bruised between these two ripped rookies.  Across his career, Jake has taken more than he’s given when it comes to submissions.  Most of the time, it requires sleeping the stud out cold to decisively score a victory over JJ.  But in Ripped Rookies, with sweat pouring off of both of their barely clad bodies, Austin makes Jake quit.

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R is for recline, rest and relax, which Jake luxuriously indulges in just to demonstrate his complete mastery over cocky punks.

 

… relax.  It’s not uncommon for Jake to showboat, particularly when an opponent has tried to intimidate him, and particularly at Rock Hard Wrestling.  But there’s something extremely provocative about those moments when Jake is so totally in charge, seeming to make the art of torture look effortless.  It requires an opponent with a loud mouth writing checks his muscles cannot cash, such as when pumped Matt Engel pokes and pokes until Jake cannot resist almost snapping him off at the knee while leaning back on one elbow and looking like it ain’t nothing but a thing.  It’s a lesson in the eroticism of humiliation and domination when some cocky punk makes Jake relax.

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S is for scream, which Jake does so rarely that it’s like panning for gold.

… scream.  Jake typically runs a body temperature around 92.4 degrees (F), because his veins are filled with ice water.  Incredibly cool, even keeled, and in control, it’s a rare moment to see him not only submit, not only be manhandled, but to actually break out in desperate screams.  The contrast between his seemingly unshakeable calm and self-control and these punctuation marks of panic are deeply moving.  Watching shocking rookie Carter Alexander take Jake to the edge in Gazebo Grapplers 16 is pure gold, as the overpowering rookie makes Jake scream.

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T is for taut, which is what Jake’s body becomes under only the most masterful hands of someone completely disregarding the normal limits of human physiology.

…taut.  If there’s one thing Jake fanatics know, it’s that this stud is a true athlete.  That phenomenal physique has been hammered into perfection by a passion for sport, first and foremost among them, wrestling.  So in addition to stunning strength, speed and stamina, this gorgeous stud is one of the most flexible wrestlers in the business.  As a result, the tolerances that his body can withstand are breathtaking.  It requires an extremely firm hand and a lust for pushing the edge for an opponent to wrench Jake’s hot bod to the breaking point.  Happily, Kid Karisma is just such a stud, and in Hunkbash 12: No Fear, No Limits, No Mercy, he exquisitely makes Jake’s incredible body taut.

The rest of the alphabet is a little more challenging, so send me your suggestions on U through Z to round out the phenomenal range of Jake Jenkins!

I’d Gladly Pay you Tuesday for Friday Fashion Today

No one seemed to notice that I totally blanked out on reviewing the votes from Friday Fashion a week and a half ago.  Or else you were just to polite to say anything.  Regardless, I wanted to state the obvious: Wade Cutler was one stunningly sexy wrestler in a vintage red singlet!  Wade pulled 77 votes, more than 50 votes ahead of second place Devon Cade, and 60 votes ahead of 3rd place Nick Veloudis (who I’ve got to spend some more time with!).  Interestingly, although Corey Evans tied with Devon the week before in the same gear, hunky Corey faded to a very distant 4th place finish.  All these numbers to say that homoerotic wrestling fans continue to have a major crush on one of the sexiest muscle boys to get ripped, stripped, and jacked off in the wrestling ring, Wade Cutler.  Oh, and of course, on the mat, in Fantasymen 8, he wore it best!

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