Voter Fraud

Is that a guilty grin on Z-Man’s handsome mug!?

What the hell was that?  The Reader’s Choice poll this month was an unmitigated failure, I’m afraid.  Votes were continually erased over the past two days that the poll was open.  At the end of day one of voting, it was looking like a tight race between Denny Cartier (buoyed by Aryx Quinn fans), Diego Diaz, and Jake Jenkins.  Then the next morning at least 20 votes were erased, and we started all over with a big surge in the poll for Z-Man.  Yesterday evening, at least another 20 votes disappeared, and Hooper was suddenly in the lead.  Early this morning, the poll results reported just 2 votes: a tie between Hoop and Gold Mantis.  Just 30 minutes ago, there were 3 votes recorded, adding up to a total of 150% of the vote.

Is is just me, or does Aryx look like he’s up to something?
I wish I were a tech forensics geek with the ability to definitively prove who or what was to blame for this gross miscarriage of democracy.  As with all all-electronic voting debacles, there’s no way to trace what went wrong or who was disenfranchised (though, frankly, it looks like nearly everyone was cut out of the official count).  Was it Z-Man’s minders (and I know he has quite an organization of them) scrubbing the record clean every time a competitor jumped out too far ahead of him?  Then again, I know for a fact that Aryx Quinn’s people were pushing votes for Denny based on the fact that Aryx was Denny’s tormentor in his nominated OTK.  Was it the Aryx Quinn/Tristan Baldwin machine throwing the vote when stuffing the ballot box wasn’t working?

Is Jake Jenkins as mouthwateringly innocent as he looks? 

There’s something ominous about this object lesson in relying on electronic media to approximate a democratic process.  I try not to even think about the implications of electronic voting machines in national elections for fear that I’ll never sleep restfully a whole night again in my life.  Of course the notoriously ill-supported and impersonal Google overlords that run Blogger and its in-house apps like the Blogger Poll widget are likely supremely uninvested in the outcome of the poll to determine who suffered the sexiest in an OTK backbreaker, as opposed to cronies of Presidential nominees who invest in electronic voting hardware and software, so the comparison is surely spurious.

If it was Diego Diaz, I don’t want to be the one to accuse him….

Ah, hell.  I’m not going to sleep restfully through a whole night now, at least until November 7.  The fiasco of this Reader’s Choice poll will haunt my dreams until President Obama is reelected.  I’m hoping they’re the sort of dreams where Tagg Romney gets forcibly stripped (yeah, those “undergarments,” too), surprisingly found to be packing a rock hard bod and 8-inches of pipe, and then cracked across Cage Thunder’s thigh while the masked master crushes his balls and makes him scream, “Bernie Sanders, make me your sex slave!”

Tagg Romney fantasizes about at man-on-man combat

However, I suspect my dreams will be much, much darker and more disturbing…

I offer to pay Tagg Romney $500 to let Cage Thunder do this to him….

Reader’s Choice Poll – OTK Delights

“Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup….”  I’ve been quiet around here lately, but I’m happy to report that it’s not a sign of writer’s block.  In fact I’m writing a lot, and on several different projects, all of which I’m finding very enjoyable and exciting.  You’ll have a chance to see it all sooner or later, but for now I’m designating today for a “reader’s choice poll” to make you all do some of the heavy lifting around here!
I’m on board with team Shutt!
Before we get to the poll, however, I want to make this brief shout out to a particular fan of this blog who made a special appeal for neverland readers to support his burgeoning, ass-kicking career.  My shirt for team Shutt arrived, and it fits great.  I’m looking forward to regular reports documenting his rise  through the ranks of hardbodied battlers, and I’m fully expecting him to generously remember those of us who were hopping on his bus way back when he was just a newbie with an attitude.  Readers can still order their own shirt, promoting and supporting the MMA career of a driven young man who appreciates all of our support.
Now, however, let’s move onto today’s assignment.  Homoerotic wrestling fans frequently have special g-spots for particular pieces of the complex puzzle of wrestling eroticism.  For example, Joe at Ringside at Skull Island recently posted that he’s a thighs-and-shoulders-man more than an abs-and-ass-man, whereas when it comes to someone like Kid Karisma, I’m entirely fixated on those world class glutes!  Same thing goes for many other aspects of wrestling, including holds and maneuvers.  There have been virtual rivers of virtual ink spilled by raging fanatics of bearhugs, for example.  There was for a while (I seem to have lost my link) a blog devoted to the erotic power of the bodyslam.  Regular readers know my particular kink is tweaked hardest by a hard, lingering, sweaty, spine realigning over-the-knee backbreaker.  So the reader’s choice poll for today is to sample the recent OTK backbreakers in new releases and select the one that’s the sweetest example of how exquisitely sexy this maneuver can be.  Like a tango, it takes two, but I’m convinced it’s the boy getting backbroken who sells this maneuver most, so the boys up for your vote are on the receiving end of this particular delight. Check out the nominees below, and then vote in the poll to the right.
Hooper’s trunks rise to vote for him for best wrestler in an OTK backbreaker.
Speaking of having spilled virtual ink, I’ve already waxed fanatical about the chemistry generated in the Thunder’s Arena recent release, Mat Rats 21.  The surprise star of the show is that growing bulge in Hooper’s trunks, god bless him, but possibly the most perfect moment in this match for me is when big (and I mean BIG) Austin Wolf pounds Hoop’s back down across his thigh and then leaves the little studpuppy slowly cracking in half.  Hoop’s agony is nothing short of sublime, and the rising tide in his trunks totally catches me off guard for it’s erotic appeal.
Rookie Gold Mantis bends like rubber while getting crotch-clawed by the master.
Gold Mantis learns immediately upon entering the gym to be careful what he wishes for (and wishes to avoid).  Within seconds, his #1 nightmare, Cage Thunder, has the hardbodied rookie locked up tight and cracked backward across his thigh. And can Gold Mantis bend or what!? Damn, a hot, hard body like that that’s also as limber as a gymnast is… well, it’s golden! With Cage Thunder’s claw squeezing his crotch, Gold Mantis is going nowhere at the speed of light, and this mouthwatering OTK ticks off just about every single box I’ve got!
Z-Man makes my mouth water with his no-hands OTK agony!

Z-Man fans will, I’m sure, chime in when they see that the playboy model turned homoerotic wrestling fantasyman is nominated here for his gorgeous display of his totally vulnerable yet incredibly powerful body wracked so appealingly across Dick Rick’s right thigh. Dick is a consummate salesman, and the sweat dripping off his meaty pecs are icing on this cake, but the cake itself is Z-Man totally committing to this involuntary chiropractic procedure.  So much beauty and power made so completely at the mercy of the heel pro… wow…

Denny Cartier’s hot bod, hairy thighs, and gasp-worthy flexibility on gorgeous display

Reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, Denny Cartier, sells and sells and sells in his anchor role on Leopard’s Lair 4.  The quantity of abuse he soaks up from both Alexi Adamov and Aryx Quinn are epic, but I swear to you that it’s the quality of his suffering that makes Denny second to none in this new release.  Singlet straps down, on his tiptoes trying to relieve the pressure on his lower lumbar while his forehead is smashed to the mat on the other side of Aryx’ leg, the hairy legs, the stretched abs, the tats, the bulge… gorgeous.

Diego Diaz’ 6’3″ frame stretches for days as he bridges across Kirby Stone’s thigh.

Diego Diaz is another of the tallboys turning my head hard lately.  When Kirby Stone catches him across his right thigh and bends him backward, Diego is nearly too much man for Kirby to handle.  Keeping those long limbs and hot muscles in place makes the heel-rising Kirby have to work at it, and if a little gratuitous squeeze of Diego’s right glute happens along the way, all the better! There’s just so damn much of Diego to love, and this OTK makes loving every inch a deep down pleasure.

Pec-perfect playboy model Z-Man doesn’t only know how to catch an OTK, he can pitch with some sweet finesse as well.  When he’s got a sweat-soaked Jake Jenkins where he (and you and I) want him, it’s like sculpture.  But when JJ screws up his face, wails like a wounded animal, and clutches his lower back pinned across Z-Man’s knee, there’s pathos is all performance art!  Damn, I love JJ’s sweaty locks plastered to his temples as his head hands upside down!  This boy hurts like a champ!
Brit battler Will Stanley takes two opponents to work him over in an exquisite OTK!
Rock Hard Wrestling also chimes in with the only recent 2-on-1 OTK I’ve seen recently, and I have to say, I love a 2-on-1 OTK!  In this case, young muscle stud Will Stanley gets cracked across Ethan Andrew’s thigh and laid open for opportunistic punk Aaron Travers to pound the muscle stud’s vulnerable, yet armored, abs.  This scene would achieve ultimate perfection should Aaron’s left hand slide down underneath Will’s trunks and throttle his balls as he bashes the boy’s gut.  Alas, even short of perfection, it’s an incredibly hot contender for the most provocative OTK backbreaker of recent releases.
So who’s your pick for the wrestler selling an OTK backbreaker sexier than all the rest?  I’m wildly ambivalent and my loyalties are shattered 7 ways!

Cross-Pollinating

Joe’s post this morning was serendipitous.  As is so often the case, right about the time something occurs to me regarding homoerotic wrestling, Joe has just posted on the topic.  In this case, I was even thinking of the phrase “cross-pollination,” as I reflected on the tempting allure of playing the game “what-if” with the chess pieces of homoerotic wrestlers from different production companies.  Regular readers will be quick to point out that I’ve bemoaned too much of a good thing in the past.  I’ve been quick to complain about “over-exposure” of wrestlers appearing everywhere at once, showing up simultaneously featured in new releases by competing productions.  But if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: I see no virtue in constancy, and like so many great men before me, I’m willing to allow that my opinions on important subjects “evolve.”  Whether today’s post is evolution or merely me reveling in my own self-contraditions, only time will tell.  However here’s my theme for today, picking up on Joe’s introduction of the topic of cross-pollination: which brand-loyal (for now) homoerotic wrestlers would I most like to see matched up against each other in cross-production matches?  Considering only the boys who I’ve only seen (or remember) wrestling for one and only one homoerotic wrestling company, here are the dream matches that are making me reconsider the moral good of cross-pollinating wrestlers.

Austin Wolf (6’4″, 235 lbs) v Diego Diaz (6’3″, 185 lbs)

For example, my first pairing for this mental exercise is the hypothetical match that really started me down this path.  Thunder’s Arena has a new stunningly handsome muscle giant by the name of Austin Wolf who grabs me with both hands and turns my crank hard! Wow, just… wow.  His dismantling of fellow Thunder’s rookie Hooper absolutely enthralls me.  It’s a catchweight scenario. Little Hoop is just fucked from the moment he walks on the mat and looks up, up, up at the bottom of Wolf’s chin towering over him.  Wolf’s look completely delights me.  A big, long, giant of a man who can pack on aesthetically luscious muscle mass is just priceless.  And that’s when it hits me.  Austin Wolf will never be fully realized in my mind until he climbs into the ring against BG East Latino beauty Diego Diaz.  I have no idea what would happen next.  Although essentially eye-to-eye, Diego is giving up a reported (but I’m skeptical) 50 pounds, though his conditioning looks far superior to Wolf’s.  I have a hunch that Austin Wolf would not be tossing around Diego like a sack of potatoes!

Archer (5’9″, 150 lbs) v Michael Vineland (??)
Another Thunder’s exclusive who demands a double-take from me everytime I run across an image of him is tatted young muscle stud, Archer.  This boy can sweat, and I could spend days studying every carved, cut muscle on his gorgeous body… with my tongue.  I swear this kid does to me what Brad Rochelle did to me the first time I saw him on the splash page of BG East.  Fun and games and fratboy hijinks will surely keep me tuning in for more of Archer at Thunders, but holy hell in a hand basket, just imagine this mouthwatering kid climbing into the Pro Sex Fight ring with Can-Am exclusive, Michael Vineland. There’s some inevitability about that match-up.  For example, at some point devastatingly handsome Archer is going to be sniffing balls with his head trapped in a long, slow face-to-crotch headscissors between Michael’s incredibly huge quads.  And there’s no way Archer won’t, at some point, be tied in the ropes in the corner and getting his sweat soaked muscles alternately stroked and pummeled, most likely with his cock and balls hanging out the front of his trunks.  And sure, someone’s getting fucked, and most likely he’ll return the favor.  But still, the journey along the way with these two would absolutely demand me pull my wallet out.
Victor Paz (6’2″, 172 lbs) v Jimmy Clay (??)
Two more brand loyalists (as far as I know, please correct me if I’m wrong!) that I’d love, love, love to see “cross-pollinate” are BG East rookie Victor Paz and Can-Am sex fighter, Jimmy Clay.  Jimmy talks a good game and has a lovely body, but he’s more pornboy than homoerotic wrestler.  That fact is precisely what makes me absolutely ache to see him step onto the mat against laser-focused MMA hardbody, Victor.  Jimmy would be all about the camera angles (which I’m not knocking him, mind you… a boy who thinks about precisely how sexy this will look on camera is golden in my book).  He might get some early offense, locking up Victor in a sloppy headlock.  But the shitstorm that would rage all over Jimmy’s fratboy porn-body for the next 45 minutes would be absolutely epic! Victor nearly took down Eli Black with legitimate skill, stamina, and strength against a wrestler who epitomizes all three of those!  Poserboy Jimmy?  Holy hell.  But if anyone could grind his ass into Victor’s crotch and get a rise out of the stunning MMA stud, I’m betting Jimmy could make a mat loss turn into a win-win-win (that last win is for me and you) scenario with Victor.
Lon Dumont (5’7″, 150 lbs) v Coupe (6’1″, 215 lbs)
BG East fixture, Lon Dumont + Thunder’s Arena goofy boy: Coupe = Match made in heaven.  Both of these hardbodied hunks are competitive bodybuilders.  They both inspire infinite wrestling fantasies that keep me sated in between actually watching their respective matches.  Lon is not a man who suffers fools lightly, and Coupe, at least in the context of Thunder’s is the classic medieval fool: jokester, self-depracating, silly, out for a laugh.  Now put these two great tastes together, preferably in the ring, and you’ve got muscle bashing beauty with stamina to keep wrestling for days and days!  While Coupe is a half a foot taller and around 65 pounds heavier than Lon, there’s no way in hell that he’s coming out with any shred of dignity left.  The relentless destruction Lon would rain down would be infinitely varied and delivered with the precision and perfection of a consummate professional.  Exactly how it would go down, I’m not sure, but I strongly suspect 2 things: Coupe tied up in the ropes and Coupe balling like a baby.
Cratos (5’9″, 200 lbs) v Kid Karisma (5’8″, 170 lbs)
My reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, Cratos, looks incredibly familiar to me, but for the life of me I can’t place where I may have seen this hot and handsome hunk before.  So as far as I know, he qualifies as a Thunder’s exclusive and eligible for this little game I’m playing today.  What brand-loyal wrestler from another company would be my ideal to meet Cratos and do some cross-pollinating?  I can’t think of a more perfect opponent for my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month than my reigning overall favorite homoerotic wrestler – non-pornboy, BG East’s exclusively, Kid Karisma.  I’m picturing Kid K welcoming Cratos to his first ring match.  I’m also picturing Cratos totally indignant at the raging ego and contemptuous disdain that oozes from Kid K’s every pore.  I’m also picturing this as a serious battle of muscle and determination.  Details? I have no idea, which is what makes this such a fantastically provocative pairing.  However, I have to believe, right near the end, we’d see the karismatic one’s crotch planted across Cratos lips.  Prove me wrong, Cratos.  Prove me wrong!
Tyrell Tomsen (5’11, 185 lbs) v Alexi Ivanov (6′, 170 lbs)

The final pairing that occurred to me was BG East’s resident adonis, Tyrell Tomsen, facing the Russian battleboy, Rock Hard Wrestling’s exclusive, Alexi Ivanov.  Again, both of these men rock me hard, although in different ways.  Tyrell is just a fucking god, full stop.  I think if I ever actually met this man in person, I’d melt away in a pool of mindless lust.  Alexi, on the other hand, compels me from a different angle.  He’s got a drive and personality that keep me tuning into watch him despite his lackluster performances thus far in the ring.  There’s story in his eyes that begs for more definition and attention, and putting him in the ring with the chiseled muscle god Tyrell seems to me to be a beautiful intervention to aid Alexi’s full emergence into the world of homoerotic wrestling.  Don’t even think this is anything but a rip ‘n’ strip match.  And you know that lovely, rippled, lean Alexi is going to spend hours racked across Tyrell’s thigh in an OTK backbreaker (or 20).  But possibly, just maybe, the divine beauty of Tyrell bashing him from corner to corner might just awaken within Alexi the Drago-within, because you and I also know that this kid is a genetically engineered erotic-wrestling-sleeper-cell left over from the cold war and surely and inevitably designed to go nuts all over some entirely naked muscle boy (aka, Tyrell) and own his ebony body tied up in the ropes and tortured to exquisite perfection.  I swear, that’s all inside Alexi’s hot-yet-wooden wrestling body, just waiting to explode all over Tyrell’s bulging pecs.

Who are the brand loyal battle boys you’d like to see cross-pollinate all over each other?

Hurricane Morgan

Morgan Cruise – 5’8″, 170 pounds – eyes on the prize
Morgan Cruise hit the ground running when he first arrived at BG East. Unfortunately for Morgan, he ran straight into a wall of competition grade granite by the name of one of my long time favorites, Lon Dumont.  One the one hand, Morgan is never subtle. Reports are that he showed up at BGE with his gaze fixed on becoming one of the greatest heels of all time.  The Boss put him in the ring with Lon Dumont who looks as though he’s a beautiful, bronze, shaved lightweight gym bunny ripe for a rising heel picking. Morgan quickly discovered in Rookie Wreckers that looks can be deceiving. Lon spent more than a decade in professional wrestling rings in independent productions, typically being a notorious badass and all around champion heel. With infinite (and incredibly sexy) patience, Lon taught Morgan just a taste of all he had yet to learn if he were ever to realize his dream of competing as a legitimate heel.
I’d give my firstborn to trade place with Morgan right here!

Regular readers will be unsurprised when I say that as delightfully as Morgan suffered, I had a majorly tough time ripping my eyes off of g-g-gorgeous Lon! Good god that man grabs me like few others! I do remember that Morgan sweat like a dirty pig (hot, hot, hot!) and showed some sweet, lustful delight in putting in a respectable power offense for just a bit of the bout. Sure, I could picture this hot, hairy kid growing up and becoming a sexy heel someday. But I get the impression that “someday” is not in the Mastodon’s vocabulary. And I had no idea that the boy with an 80’s mainstream pro wrestling muscle body was also an extremely quick study.

Morgan’s passed his heel-in-training qualifying exam all over Eli Black’s bashed body

By the time he climbed back in the ring with 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month, ripped gladiator Eli Black for Gut Bash 9, Morgan had not only learned his lessons, he’d mastered them, improvised on them, and showed true genius in both beating Eli to a pulp and showing off Eli’s phenomenal physique like a savant!  Against Eli, Morgan was dominant, brutal, and provocatively sexy as hell!

Morgan is THRILLED to deliver naked backbreaking bashing all over Demian Rush!

So I altered my picture of how Morgan might fit in the homoerotic wrestling universe. Clearly, we wouldn’t have to wait around for him to grow into a sexy heel.  He’s still so young, but fuck all if there’s not an old, vicious, soul-crushing heel living in that beast of a body!  So I figured we’d see Morgan hit the muscle taming circuit for a while, perfecting his craft, playing up the eroticism of trunks-on wrestling for gay eyes. But for his next appearance, he climbed into the ring with trust-fund baby muscleboy Damien Rush (upon whom I had an instant, blinding crush), and proceeded to strip the gorgeous rookie naked and deliver a muscle pounding in the buff.

Flexing naked over his crushed opponent, Morgan is THE MAN!
Good god, man! Strip Stakes 3 transported me back over a decade, reminding me of the thrill of watching the likes of the Brooklyn Bodywrecker toy with, delight in, and ultimately get off all over another frat boy. I’m not exaggerating here. Morgan pulled out nearly all the stops and I swear, as far as I’m concerned, he joined the ranks of the seriously hot heels.  Sweating every bit as much as before, totally naked and furry all over, Morgan is about 10 times more handsome and 100 times more worship worthy once the gear is off and he sticks around to deliver extra credit punishing humiliation.

Morgan stretches Diego Diaz long, long body to it’s gorgeous limits

So it makes complete sense that he skyrocketed to his own Wrestler Spotlight last month after only 3 matches to his name. Morgan’s Spotlight is one erotic epiphany after another. He starts off manhandling the long, tall drink of water Diego Diaz who has an eye on Morgan’s championship belt. What’s he champion of? Who the fuck cares?! Diego wants to see that belt buckled around his own six-pack beauty. I LOVE the look of Diego. I love his insanely long limbs, sculpted torso, handsome face, bushy hair and sexy, deep, accented voice. When he delivers some early punishment and a first shocking submission on Morgan to grab the belt and admire himself with it in the mirror, I admit I found the drama extremely compelling. I hope for big, big things from that big, big sexy man. But seeing Morgan hammer, slam, and beat the living shit of him all over and outside the ring is a thing of profound beauty. He stretches every incredibly long inch of Diego and then serves him up for us like a mouthwatering turkey dinner. Awesome. Simply awesome.

No shit! Pec claw push-ups on rookie muscle farmboy, Tony Law.

I have no idea where Tony Law has been hiding, but I’m extremely pleased that he’s shown his big, beefy, farm boy body in the BG East ring, and even happier that he debuted his luscious muscles and rocking ass against the rolling stone of Morgan Cruise! I’ve since learned that this is not the first time Morgan and Tony have wrestled (more on that later), which may explain that frightening lack of all humanity in Morgan’s absolute destruction, obliteration even, of the blond babyface with tree trunk thighs. For Tony’s sake, I hope he knew just how vicious the Mastodon could be, because this is a marathon shit kicking session!

Morgan looks ready to orgasm, riding muscle hunk Chace like a broken bronco
And speaking of marathons, in the finale to Morgan’s Wrestler Spotlight, he and Chace LaChance version 2.0 go at it so long you’d better pack a lunch and plenty of fluids! I still think Chace needs to face Lon Dumont in the ring, because it’s my armchair opinion that the tweezed pretty boy cost the two of them a humiliating tag team defeat in Tag Team Torture 12. Perhaps Chace’s newfound prime beef is in anticipation of his date with destiny in facing bodybuilding champion Lon (I can hope!). In the mean time, Chace pulls of some impressive offense against the rising tide of Morgan’s heel aspirations. But at this point, Morgan is just unstoppable. He’s also incredibly entertaining to watch along his journey to cement himself as not only on the list of sexy heels, but climbing those rankings. When he’s got that lustful, dreamy look in his eyes, clearly huffing on the scent of humiliation dripping off of a withering opponent, he’s a true wonder!  Any bitches even dare to suggest that he needs to shave or manscape more aggressively just sit right back down. Morgan is transported directly off of nationally televised professional wrestling badassness from exactly 27 years ago today, and hairy legs, pecs, pits, and pubes are 100% Morgan Cruise sexy heel fantastic!

Master Kevin and Morgan flex off

Others already knew Morgan from before he knocked on the door in Pembroke, from his self-promotion campaign as a teen bodybuilder to be worshipped on YouTube. I’ve since also discovered that his frequent competition for teen muscle worship fanatics, Chaoserver aka Master Kevin has since teamed up with Morgan (and Damien Rush and Tony Law!) to produce some sexy west coast independent wrestling of their own. More to come on this front soon, but I get the impression that perhaps the Mastodon may need a new nickname. Something like Hurricane Morgan. Because he’s nothing short of a terrifying, unstoppable force of nature these days!

Built for bare-assed muscle destruction.

Sisyphus

In Greek mythology, Sisyphus was cursed to eternally push a boulder up a mountain, only to see it roll back down the mountain each time he reached the top. Drawing from the myth of Sisyphus, existentialist philosopher Camus wrote about the absurdity of the search for meaning in an essentially meaningless world. Like Sisyphus, Camus argued, we are trapped within the futile task of seeking divinity and eternal truths, only to have our convictions tumble down over and over.  We are destined to repeatedly learn that what seems so important to us at any given moment is, ultimately, hollow and pointless.
Battered Coop climbs inch by inch up Diego’s long, luscious body.
As I wrestle a boulder up my own mountain, wondering if there’s any point to it all, it reminds me of the potently erotic moment in some of my favorite homoerotic wrestling matches when a bashed hunk peels himself up off the mat to look up at the dominating beast staring down at him impassively. This drama shows up in most Cole Cassidy matches and several Kid Vicious crushings.  Most recently, my heart nearly beat out of my chest when I watched cocky goldenboy Austin Cooper crawl, inch by inch, up the infinitely long legs of 6’3″ giant Diego Diaz, climbing up the Latino sex-bomb’s legs as Diego leers down at him, just waiting for him to reach his feet only to slam him back down to the mat once again.  Of course, there’s the homoeroticism of the catcher’s face suggestively traversing his opponent’s crotch. And undoubtedly, there’s the drama of whether the beaten man is battered sufficiently to prevent him from launching a vicious attack on the standing hunk’s vulnerability wagging in his face. But I’m captured by this moment for the melodrama, as well, the mythological scope of the scene as a once-invulnerable muscleman keeps climbing in the face of futility. As the pitcher watches impassively from above, allowing his crushee to use his frame as a handhold, to hang from him in his weakness, to lean on him, clutching his muscles for borrowed strength, I’m most moved when the fates are irresistible, and the struggling climber is destined to just barely reach the apex of his journey up his opponent’s body only to be slammed back down to start the futile journey all over again.  Sure, it may be a bleak assessment of the human condition, but it’s one seriously hot scene in homoerotic wrestling, as hunky Sisyphus sweats his way up the mountain, inch by exhausted inch, destined to go tumbling down over and over again.
Cole is uncharacteristically Sisyphus to Chris Bruce’s mountainous muscles
in Demolition 10.
Cole squeezes Chris’s powerful thighs as he climbs up the
classic muscleman’s waiting, glistening body.
Just as Cole reaches the summit, Chris scoops him up…
…parades him helplessly and hopelessly around the ring…
…and flings him back to the mat from where he started. 
Then Cole starts the long journey up the mountain once again….

Still-Frame Fantasies

I’ve been working my ass off so hard that the month of May is pretty much a wash when it comes to my favorite past-time: checking out new homoerotic wrestling releases. I’m just throwing in the towel and putting an asterisk in the homoerotic wrestler of the month competition for May 2012. The throne will remain empty for the month.  I have a strong suspicion that there will be a new title holder once June has played out, however. BG East has released Catalog 93, and it’s packed with some of my long time fantasyman crushes as well as more recent infatuations, any one of which could (and most of them have) easily bitchslapped the competition and claim the title. I’m also entranced with the hotness of new Rock Hard wrestler Britboy Will Stanley landing just in time for the queen’s diamond jubilee. Only 5 days into the month and based solely on still-frame fantasies, here are the immediate front runners for June’s title.
Denny Cartier crotch pins Joah Bindao

Denny’s back! Just the photos alone of hot Denny Cartier can tide me over, and in his Gazebo Grapplers 13 appearance he’s looking tastier than ever. Those eyes, that smile, the dimpled chin, wide strong shoulders, gorgeous chest, luscious ass, strong legs, and look at those forearms… all of that and some of the highest quality grappling I love, and Denny could easily be a 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month. And hot little muscleman Joah Bindao is definitely a rising stock.

Jake Jenkins threatens to dismember Jayden Mayne
Gazebo Grapplers 13 is catching me eye from start to finish, including Jake Jenkins looking possibly hotter than I’ve ever seen. Is it the trunks? Is it that hot, “monkey boy” body? Is it that his eyes looking like he’s about to carve into Thanksgiving turkey as he stares down handsome scrapper, Jayden?  Jake’s done it once and could easily do it again, wrestling his way into another homoerotic wrestler of the month title.
Joshua Goodman’s crotch might choke out Christopher Bruce!

And yet another Gazebo Grapplers 13 match is turning my crank in still-frame! Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) could read the phone book and I’d be off before he got to Aanerud (as long as he’s in nothing but those skimpy white trunks)! I’ve never seen a Mr. Joshua match that fails to make me weak in the knees, and pitting him against perennial powerhouse and sexy thinker Christopher Bruce could easily propel either of these men into the lead.  It seems impossible that Mr. Joshua has not yet owned the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month. Could his Susan Lucci moment arrive in June?

Stinger in trouble from every angle!

My, oh my, Masked Mayhem 7 could be a superhero homoerotic wrestling fantasy for the record books! Lean, sexy Stinger’s partner doesn’t show up, and the brave masked man agrees to face both legendary heel Cage Thunder and his new tag partner, unmistakably menacing long, hard hottie Lightning Rod. Cage Thunder has yet to own the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month on these pages, but could this be the month on the strength of what looks like an astonishingly sexy, brutal double-team?

Skip Vance in agony under the control of Kid Karisma

Speaking of astonishingly sexy, the pairing of incredibly hot champion jobber, Skip Vance and my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy division), Kid Karisma, has the potential to be epic! I’ve lobbied the boys at BG East for a long-overdue Wrestler Spotlight starring Kid K’s world class muscle ass! Skip hasn’t held the title, but Kid K was living large and in charge as homoerotic wrestler of the month 11 months ago. Either of these stunners could easily own it this month.

Fiercely hot newbie Diego Diaz launches Morgan Cruise
Neither Morgan Cruise nor newbie heartthrob Diego Diaz have held the homoerotic wrestler of the month title yet, but I could easily see their face-off for Morgan’s Spotlight earning one of them the distinction for June. Hurricane Morgan is like a force of nature lately, leveling every hot, hunky face placed in his way. And ripped, snarling, Latino powerhouse Diego has captured my imagination like no current newcomer. It’s a rare feat to be homoerotic wrestler of the month on the strength of just 2 matches, but the Latino giant could definitely make that happen.

Mitch Colby makes batboy Aryx Qinn pucker up
Mitch Colby has owned every title I could ever dream up. If Mitch and Diego Diaz were to ever tag team,   my life could very well be complete. In the mean time, his hairy chested, sweat soaked ring pounding with Aryx Quinn makes Mitch an instant contender for a 2nd trip to the winner’s circle.
Austin sweats through his jock while he shows off Patrick Donovan’s best side.

Austin Cooper is everywhere lately! For sheer ironman hotness (not to mention Goldenboy beauty and a top notch bubble butt) Austin is a contender for the title he has yet to possess. And Patrick Donovan is an instant contender, and I strongly suspect that Patrick has made a pact with Satan, because he’s done nothing but get sexier and more gorgeous with each and every match he’s wrestled in his long and lustrous career! That ass alone deserves a title, and he could absolutely deserve the homoerotic wrestler of the month title for his Matmen 23 face-off with the Goldenboy.

Austin does chiropractic work on Britboy rookie Will Stanley.

And my last instant infatuation for the first 5 days of June is Rock Hard Wrestling’s rookie lovely, Will Stanley. See, Austin’s back (making for 2 nominations for the title this month), but like Joe, I’m immediately craving a closer look at handsome, ripped hunk Will Stanley. That body, that ink, that face, AND an accent? Nostalgia alone could tip the scales to Will Stanley, Esquire, in honor of the queen’s diamond jubilee.

Hot, hot, hot start to summer, homoerotic wrestling fans!

Somebody Needs a Step Ladder

A couple of weeks ago, I called out BG East newbie Diego Diaz from Florida Fights 4 as my top still-frame choice of the new blood that I wanted to see in action. Long, gorgeous, untamed wildly curly hair… Diego is no clone. He looks like he eats raw meat and bench presses Smart Cars. And he looks mean. Really, really mean.
6’3″, 184 lbs. Diego Diaz looks mean.
It’s taken me days, quite literally, to manage to see his debut match against Austin Cooper all the way through to the end. I’ve just been getting way too worn out along the way to keep going!  I’m infatuated with this giant of a man, and I’m instantly craving more.
Diego seems to understand the concept of power-bottoming

My post yesterday on the independent self-promotion of Steel Muscle God struck up a back channels conversation with one reader about sexy accents. I’m a sucker for a sexy accent growled out of a deep, bass voice echoing from a powerful chest. Just like SMG, Diego is doing just fine in English as a second language. In fact, for someone who’s apparently not a native speaker, he delivers some of the most entertaining, nearly non-stop trash talk that I’ve seen in a long time!
Diego completely dwarfs 5’9″ Austin
“Let’s see how much fighting you have in those Captain America speedos of yours!” he snarls, stretching his long, long, LONG legs over the top rope as he climbs into the ring.  Last month I mused on the topic of tall men in homoerotic wrestling, and Diego pushes those buttons as well. He’s listed as 6’3″, but his swagger and that bush of slightly insane curls on top of his head make him seem at least three inches taller than that to me. Austin is reportedly a half a foot shorter than Diego, but he comes across as nothing short of juvenile looking up at the towering giant in front of him.
“Tough guy, huh?” a cocky Austin asks. “You know who I am, right?”
Austin suffers altitude sickness throughout the match.
Diego laughs long and indulgently. It’s an evil and genuinely amused laugh that makes me melt. “I really don’t care who you are,” Diego finally growls back with that knee-buckling accent. “I know where you’re heading to. And it’s right here,” the Latin stud drops to one knee and slaps the mat in the middle of the ring. Once again, the recruiters at BG East have done much, much more than comb through the catalogs of unemployed underwear models to sign this so-called “rookie.” This gorgeous giant is dripping with confidence and he gives every impression that he’s spent months on end in the ring long before he stretched his freakishly long legs over the top rope to stand face-to-face (well, face-to-sternum) with Austin. He’s literally walking the top rope within the first 5 minutes of this match, for god’s sake!!!
Austin spends a lot of time looking up in this match.
Austin’s asking for it from t-minus 15 seconds to the very last knock-out blow of this match. It’s the American flag trunks, or, as Diego puts it, “those Captain America speedo.” They seem to bring out the over-inflated, yet somehow sniveling bitch in beefy goldenboy Austin. The curl of his upper lip, the cupie-doll-inspired faux hawk, and his complete disrespect and disregard for his skyscraper of an opponent make it impossible for me not to take deep satisfaction in discovering that Diego is hitting the BG East roster as a ringer. Not 10 minutes into the match, and he’s captured Austin cold in the middle of a flying cross body, catching him like a sack of laundry, hoisting Captain America up across his upper chest, and then heaving Austin’s beautifully muscled body a good 8 feet across the ring. “You need to stop with this bullshit!” Diego scolds him. “This ain’t for kids; do you know what I’m saying!?”
Diego exploits gravity with a spine-busting leg drop from  the heavens.
Austin tries not to respond to Diego’s barrage of trash talk. Perhaps he doesn’t understand the accent. I for one, understand Diego loud and clear. His #1 tool in his tool belt is dropping any pointed thing he can find (a fist, an elbow, a knee) down onto Austin’s abs from the stratospheric heights that this Latino giant inhabits. His second most effective tool (though, I have to say, it’s my #1 favorite move to see a giant like this apply) is using those mile long legs to scissor Captain America, rolling him back and forth, front to back, slamming him face-first and then back-first into the mat. Austin screams like a bitch, kicking his feet pointlessly. A third strategy that looks like it could seriously send Austin to the hospital is the assault on his core from repeated shoulder blocks that Diego spears into him when he’s trapped in the corners. Diego’s feet leave the mat around the middle of the ring in order to turn the Latino giant into a projectile for delivering blunt force trauma.
Diego Diaz makes an impact with every inch of his 6’3″
Austin gets 1 pin fall and 1 submission out of the big man, both relying on underhanded tricks and out-and-out cheating. He wraps Diego up into a small (huge) package and slaps down a rapid fire 3-count like he’s pounding out a drum roll. The surprise fall infuriates Diego, as he chases a fleeing, cowardly Austin outside the ring to exact revenge. “No one’s going to play me like that!” Diego barks ominously. When Austin has a shred of momentum a little later, he retreats outside the ring again to do his damnedest to fuck up Diego’s knee. Pounding it into the corner of the ring apron, hanging the Latino hunk by it from the middle rope, and then latching on a ball-crushing figure-4 leg lock with Diego astonishingly straddling the ring post (this move brought to you by the freakishly hot genetics of 6’3″ Diego).
Austin knows that unless he maims the big man permanently, he’s in deep shit.
Defenders of the stars and stripes will not be proud of the tactics that our goldenboy resorts to in order to even the score in this match. He is, as Diego points out, a “coward” and a “bitch.” So when Austin starts tiring out climbing up Mt. Everest over and over, there’s some sweet satisfaction in seeing Diego start to hammer down and humiliate the goldenboy severely. The final 10 minutes or so of this match reinforce what was so clearly apparent from the first seconds of seeing the ripped giant step over the top rope to enter the ring for the first time. Lovely, long Diego is a fully formed heel! He stomps the living shit out of Austin without even a hint of human compassion or mercy. “I told you that’s what you get when you play with the big guys: you get beat down!” A backbreaker in nose-bleed altitude, hanging upside down helplessly across Diego’s shoulder, is stunning to see and clearly impossible for Austin to take for more than about 5 seconds. Diego finally acknowledges the submission and flings the pretty patriot to the mat like taking out the trash. “Don’t come in here with your little spinnings and twists and think your going to beat me!” he spits, starting to stride out of the ring having delivered his message to BG East.
Diego is working over Austin, but he’s got his eye on you.
“You’re still just a tall pussy,” Austin says, flat on his back having just screamed out a submission like a whiny bitch. Some might call it balls, taking a beating that humiliating and then spitting out a gasping attempt at emasculation. As for me, it looks like a musclehead jock unaccustomed to being physically inferior to an opponent just not knowing when to shut up. Happily, Diego’s pride is bruised enough by the pitiful insult that he has to climb back in the ring and shut Captain America up for good. He delivers a one-handed choke slam, lifting Austin high off his feet with just a little gratuitous help from yanking the stars and stripes high up Austin’s crack, and then pounding the faux hawked golden boy into la-la-land.
Diego makes being so bad look so good!
Where the fuck did BG East find this guy!? These are two incredibly hot wrestlers. This is my very favorite genre: ring action. These stunners use every inch of the ring, the ropes, the turnbuckles, the corner posts, the ringside benches, the lockers, and the cinder block walls to do their very best to fuck one another up. The sexy Latino giant let’s loose a steady stream of withering trash talk. In other words, this is my kind of homoerotic wrestling! Get Diego Diaz back in the ring, rápido!
BG East boys take note: Diego Dias is in the building!