At the Matches with Bard & Drake

Since wrestling Drake Marcos a year and a half go, things have remained tense between the two of us. Words were said. Photographic evidence was shared. Excuses were made. While I understand why a Kid Leopard-trained professional homoerotic wrestler would nurse some stewing bitterness against the inexperienced blogger who upended him in the ring, I, on the other hand, continue to hold nothing but the highest regard for the Cheshire Cat.

So when Drake finally climbed out of his shame hole to return to the world of blogging, I demonstrated, once again, who was the bigger man by reaching out to the hot jobber and inviting him to sit down with me and handicap the BG East Besties in anticipation of their year-end fan poll. With a passing homage to Siskel & Ebert, I proposed that we dub this tete-a-tete “At the Matches with Bard & Drake.”  In case you’re looking for ideas of who to vote for, or your simply as tickled as I am to watch Drake squirm, here are our takes on the year in BG East wrestling.

Drake Marcos is back.

Bard: So Drake, thanks for agreeing to sit down with me and shoot the shit. I hope you don’t mind I put my name first in the marquee: “At the Matches with Bard & Drake.”

Drake: I mean, the only reason you’re first is because of alphabetical rules and I was taught that you’re supposed to help old ladies carry their groceries so… It’s merely my manners that’s allowing this.

Bard: Yes, clearly you’re up to your skinny little neck in manners. Since it’s age before beauty, I’ll take the reins as we begin to consider the highlights in homoerotic wrestling from the past year.

Drake: You do that, Bard. It’s like reading to the nursing home patients for me.

Bard: Careful there, Drake, or I’ll beat you with my cane… again. Let’s start with a subject you’re particularly expert in: jobbing. There were some sweet moments in jobbing this year. I immediately think of mouthwatering Richie Douglas getting trussed up, spread eagled in the corner ropes with a raging, sweaty Lane Hartley place kicking the kid’s balls. Any sweet jobbing highlights stick out for you when you think about 2015?

Drake: While I still am not a fan of the title you give me, there is something I do know, and that’s how to recognize a good sell. And while adorable Richie Douglas does a great job getting his pretty little ass kicked, I ultimately think that the best jobber working in the BG stable right now is Chet Chastain. I mean holy fuck! The work he put in with Guido? Jesus Christ…my dick was sore for days!

Drake Marcos is back.

Bard: Chet, fuck yes. He’s come on like a house on fire in 2015. I completely agree with you he’s selling like a brand new iPhone these days. Although Chet clearly possesses a thorough indy pro wrestling resume prior to his arrival in the homoerotic wrestling universe, technically he “debuted” in 2015. I also have to rank Biff Farrell’s entry into BG East competition as one of the most phenomenal arrivals on the scene in 2015 as well. What a meatscicle!

Meatscicle Biff Farrell

Drake: There’s something about Biff that I really like. And, if you know Drake Marcos, you know I thrive for duality. He alternately looks like the kid in the old comic book ads who beefs up after getting sand kicked in his face on the beach while also looking like the sand-kicking bully as well. He’s got that right mix of bully buff but also golden boy babyface. He’s definitely a great find.

Bard: Any other new faces grab your attention, and by attention, I mean your dick?

Mad Mykel turned the heat up in his rookie year

Drake: I’m kinda all about Chet these days though. My muscle fascination finds me petting myself a bit over big brick shit house (as my dad used to say) Vasily Volkov. Mmmm, yes ma’am. And there’s also something about Mad Mykel that plays my strings. I think it’s his unbridled insanity. It’s quite entertaining.

Bard: Mad Mykel has wound me up and set me off in both of his 2015 releases. Which brings me back to adorable babyface Richie Douglas, who looked like the varsity quarterback getting mauled and molested by the badboy detention king when Mad Mykel got his hands all over him.

Drake: Yes, while I think Mykel needs some fine-tuning in the ring, the character he plays is perfect for him. It was quite hot watching him put the smackdown on that little ripped Texan poster boy. Completely unhinged, unpredictable, and his tactics push a lot of buttons. I mean it’s kind of fleeting, but there’s a moment when Ty has just had enough and goes into black out hulk mode and rages out on Mykel. That was quite a joy to see, seeing as he lacked much of that fire when I put my ass in his face…er…his ass in his place.

Bard: Ah, yes, Drake’s glory days get dragged, kicking and screaming into the conversation. Now that you mention it, you were one of several BG East staples who seemed to sit on the shelf most of this year. Other than your early year X-Fight with red-headed sex pot Steven Ponce, you were oddly absent from the new release list in 2015. What gives, Cheshire Cat?

Drake rung out like dirty laundry in X-Fights 39

Drake: 2015 was a year of transition and change for me. A lot of different things happened that kept me sidelined and otherwise preoccupied. I think BG realized that with just how much I burned up the release calendar last year that it was probably a time to let it cool. Like Lady Gaga, I ran the risk of overexposure, so I took some time off. To think, to meditate, to decide just who Drake Marcos really is, and who he’s going to be in the greater scheme of things. I’ll be back in 2016. There’s plenty of red hot matches in the can for me, and I am working on getting back into action very, very soon.

Bard: Sure, I can picture you as the Lady Gaga of homoerotic wrestling. In fact, that might be a pretty sensational new nickname for you.

Drake: Unfortunately I think that moniker has already been taken by precious little lily Ty Alexander thanks to Shane McCall. But I identify more with her than he does anyways, so, in spirit I guess.

Bard: I was worried that your bitter, public humiliation at the hands of a mere blogger late in 2014 might have permanently sucked out your mojo. I’m glad to hear your absence is merely indicative of a meditative retreat and PR pacing. You know how much I enjoy watching that fine ass of yours getting beat in the ring.

Drake: “Bitter, public humiliation?” I yawn as you continue to talk about this. Okay, so what? You kicked my ass, fine, whatever. There’s a whole extra side to that that you’re lax to let come out so I’m ok with that. Gloss over the times I had you screaming in pain…the long drawn out submissions I put you through…the vicious beating I laid on you, that’s fine. You got lucky, that’s all. While my loss to you smarts, it didn’t kill any of my mojo, but it did play a part in my hiatus. Like Ronda vs. Holly Holm, I’m taking my time, training, working hard and am going to come back and finally, completely and utterly shut you up once and for all. I think we’ll do some redecorating of your blog. Maybe put a nice big banner of you laid out naked in the ring with my foot on your face for everyone to see.

Bard: Ouch! I apparently touched a nerve there. Sorry (not sorry). I look forward to witnessing, first hand, your desperate attempt to redeem yourself. Hopefully we can work something out in 2016 to give you the opportunity to suck on some more big, hard, throbbing humiliation.

Drake: Bring it, Bard. Fucking bring it.

Bard: I love the sound of petulant desperation in your voice! You are such a seductive jobber. Speaking of hot and horny competitive tension, were there any explicitly erotic moments in 2015 wrestling that stuck with you?

Flash LaCash putting Van Skyler’s sensational ass in jeopardy

Drake: Van Skyler’s sweat-soaked squash by Flash LaCash is quite a highlight. Flash has never really been on my radar as a heel thanks to his mustache. Seriously, he reminds of the old Dudley Do-Right cartoons where the evil villain ties a damsel to the train tracks and then laughs evilly as he twirls his mustache around his fingers as the train approaches. But him whupping on impossibly gorgeous Van is a definite highlight. Ty’s picture perfect whupping by my “owner” Mason Brooks is blazing hot and not to mention the dismantling of Trey Dixon by god-on-earth Logan Vaughn.

Bard: See, now, there are three perfect examples of where we can get along and agree completely. Mason’s ring debut against Ty in Florida Fights 5 is definitely a highlight. I rarely see an accomplished mat wrestler take to the ring with quite the aplomb and success of Mason. And holy hell, I have got to believe Van Skyler could command a massive fan base if he keeps getting that magnificently muscled ass wedgied and pounded. But when it comes to hurtling headlong into the “explicit” side of the scene, Trey Dixon’s worshipful tongue bath of every… bulging… beautiful inch of Logan Vaughn is probably a top tier contender for my favorite moment of the year. Can you imagine getting your handsome face crushed like a grape between Logan’s gargantuan thighs!? Because I can. In fact, I am imagining your head getting crushed between Logan’s thighs right now, and, as I suspected, it’s turning me on hard.

Picture Drake Marcos here.

Drake: Seeing Ty get trounced is always fun in my book. Seeing it get done by someone as sexy as Mason is a real treat. I’m pretty sure Mason can succeed at everything he does. The man is a dangerous jack-of-all trades. Van has a great body, but I believe it’s his granite chiseled jawline that sends me swooning. The man is classically beautiful. And about that headscissor, I’m pretty sure you’re imagining your own head getting crushed, not mine.

Bard: Hmmm, let me consult my most arousing fantasies…. Nope, it’s your handsome mug trapped between Logan’s tree trunks that I’m picturing. Anyhow, in the full on sexually explicit end of the pool, at least the matches featuring full frontal nudity, is it my imagination, or was the field a little light this year? How do you think your sweaty romp against Steven Ponce stacks up against the handful of other naked delights this year?

Drake: Oh, without a doubt, head and shoulders above the rest. At my count there’s 7, and one of them, as the Kid Karisma match against Marco Carlow, which, while hot, doesn’t really classify as an explicit match like some of us who engage in full-monty wrestling with aplomb. Gold Shaft versus Dalton was fun. Smooth, Latino masked heel versus big, buff, tatted daddy with MASSIVE fucking bulges all around. Then you have the 3-for-all with Ty, Chace, and Kayden, which features Chace going full monty for the first time, I think, so we get to see ALL of his gorgeous Adonis body. Ring Releases 3 was blistering hot too. You have big dicked Mykel cockslapping Ty all over the Florida ring and then you have Kayden Keller getting somewhat of a comeuppance at the hands of the person voted least likely to do just that, little Leo Tomasi. That hot little segment seals the deal for me. Then you have Jafar running around commanding two muscle slaves, which didn’t do a single thing for me.

Stripping Marco Carlow was a major highlight of 2015!

Bard: For highlights, seeing Marco Carlow and Chace LaChance go full monty for the first time definitely makes my highlight reel for the year. Kid Karisma walking out of the room with his trunks on while Marco delivered a naked flexing session nearly made my head, explode though. Fuck, I predict Kid K would break the internet if he finally answered my prayers and honest to the wrestling gods wrestled naked.

Drake: But then we have MY match, and it proves, if anything, I know my fans and what they want. I’d been wanting to get my hands all over that ginger muscle since I first met him. I let my dick do the thinking though, and, well you see what happened, but it’s fucking sexy as hell.

Bard: I rank Kayden and Leo’s match as neck and neck with you getting muscle tamed by lovely Steven as the top of the heap when it comes to cocks out, lips locked, explosive wrestling matches this year. Watching you swarm all over Ponce’s luscious body and work up a sweet head of steam, only to get distracted and slapped down into your place brought up such fond memories for me.

Drake’s place?

Drake: My place is not always there! I’m telling you, 2016 is going to be very different

Bard: I love all that pluck and promise, Drake. So, it sounds like Super Hero Heels 7 did not do it for you, and again, I agree with you. I loved the potential, but the plot fell short for me. I’d also say the third match in Undagear 23 fell seriously flat for me, watching Ethan Andrews humorlessly mugging pretty Jayden Mayne. Extremely hot potential there, but the lack of chemistry and cold, relentlessly bullying from Ethan just failed to live up to the promise for me. Any other misses in this year’s field that you’d call out?

Drake: I agree with you on the Ethan match. It seemed a little too personal for me. Ummm, misses…Zach Reno’s hair is a big miss for me. However, I think this was another banner year for BG. Solid catalogs from start to finish with best value for dollar entertainment from the best homoerotic wrestling company out there. I do have to say though, and I don’t know how this missed mention as it’s definitely one of my all time favorites now, can we talk about Cameron versus Blaine in Barefoot Babyfaces?

Bard: Absolutely we talk about Cameron and Blaine. I appreciate how politely and respectfully you asked my permission. Rip, strip, and sweat-soaked sexiness in that match! What commends it to get your highest marks for 2015?

Drake: It’s definitely one of the most unexpected and inventive matches I think I’ve seen come out of BG in a while. Cameron is at his fittest, his absolute best that I think we’ve seen him since his Submissions winner last year against Jake Lowe. And you know I have a ridiculous soft spot (read: hard-on) for lovely Canucks like Blaine Janus.

Bard: You aren’t the only BG East wrestler I’ve talked to who holds Blaine in very, very high regard. They are quite a sensational pairing. I love how much time Blaine spends with his fingers wrapped around Cameron’s balls.

Who’s the king now!?

Drake: But I think what put this over the top for me is how completely and thoroughly Blaine outwrestles, outsmarts, and outmuscles the wrestling legend. I mean, he’s bound in the corner as Blaine scales him like King Kong on the Empire State Building and headscissors him on the top turnbuckle and demands not only a complete submission, but that Cameron call Blaine the “king!”

Bard: Definitely, there’s something very special about a “pro-upended” narrative like that.

Drake: And then, like a debased, dethroned king that he is, he’s hung in the town square/ corner with his own robe/singlet until he’s out cold, choked out.

Bard: Definitely, super sweet wrestling drama! You’ve got good taste, Drake. I approve of slotting Cameron & Blaine in Barefoot Babyfaces 1 as a top notch highlight of the year. I think if push comes to shove, I’d have to give my very favorite, hauntingly arousing match choice to Logan & Trey’s wrestle-worship session in Florida Fights 5. In case BG East does another year-end Besties award season, are you willing to name names of who you think you’ll be voting for? Top babyface?

Chet Chastain – Top Babyface of 2015?

Drake: If I can’t vote myself I’m going to have to give it to either Ty or Chet Chastain. But you should vote for me.

Bard: I have to say, I do like this tell-it-like-it-is spirit you’ve got lately. I’ll definitely take it under advisement. If my vote doesn’t go for you, I think Biff could be my surprise pick (at least, I find myself a little surprised to be so taken by a rookie). Top heel?

Drake: I mean, last year I would have said without hesitation Guido, but Flash LaCash is a surprise wildcard for me this year.

Joe Mazetti – the once and future top heel?

Bard: I may just give my vote to Joe Mazetti from the Comeback 2. Joe’s phenomenal work battling his internal demons even as he battles big Biff Farrell is really amazing to watch. And when he finally just lets the fuck loose, there’s something both pristinely classic and fresh as a daisy in his heeling. Since you were my last year’s vote for jobber of the year, I certainly respect your opinion about that category. Who grabs your vote this time?

Drake: Well, I don’t have many matches this year and I definitely was NOT a jobber in the one I did have, but I did quite enjoy seeing Ty Alexander get tossed around the ring this year by experienced mat vet Mason and inexperienced psycho Mad Mykel. Can I give it to Kayden for the 20 minute slapdown he received from Leo?

Bard: You can do anything you want, but I have to think Kayden might not take it kindly, getting a jobber of the year vote from you. Which, frankly, could set up a sensational grudge match that I’d love to see between you and him.

Drake: (laughing) Seriously though, it’s almost a tie between Chet and Ty, but I think Ty edges him out strictly for going full monty. Just barely though.

Ty Alexander – Top Jobber of 2015?

Bard: I think I’d also throw my vote Ty’s way this year. Richie speaks to my crotch as a close 2nd place, though. For debut of the year I’ve got to go with big Biff for all the reasons we’ve already talked about. I think Van Skyler could be a majorly hot commodity in the coming year, but for who made the biggest splash, I just don’t think it gets bigger than big, bulging, beautiful beefcake Biff. You going with Chet on this one?

Drake: I think it’s a virtual tie. I love the hurting Biff put on Joe, but I also love Chet’s sweet, sweet suffering. I don’t know. This is a hard one for me. I might have to use both email addresses (laughing). Van is someone I definitely can see wrestling his way into my heart with those rugged good looks (sigh).

Bard: What are your thoughts about who would get your vote this year for best abs in competition?

Drake: Eli Black…duh.

Lon Dumont – Best Abs of 2015?

Bard: Wrong. Lon Dumont. Make a note. Now let’s move on. Best bulge?

Drake: Pete Sharp, bar none.

Pete Sharp – Best Bulge of 2015?

Bard: You are correct. Jonny Firestorm’s impressive excitement in wrestling his fanboy crush, Christopher Bruce, is compelling. But then Pete shows up and blocks out the sun with that gargantuan mountain in his pouch. Who’s your leading contender for Best Butt?

Drake: I think I’m not the only one who was pissed off last year when Cameron pulled off the upset for best ass. That throne has always and will always belong to Kid Karisma in my heart. His ass is so perfect, round and juicy. I just want to bury my face in it. But Cameron and Austin definitely deserve nominations

Bard: Kid Karisma and Cameron Matthews have been duking out this category for years now. I’m completely with you in being seriously surprised that Cameron took the title away from Kid K last year. I think that Van Skyler’s muscled cheeks bring something new and seriously competitive to the table this year, but I have to agree with you. Kid Karisma’s ass is pure gold. Do you need a minute to unbury your face from Kid K’s juicy glutes, or can I ask you about the highly controversial Best Body category?

Kid Karisma – Best Butt of 2015?

Drake: What I wouldn’t give to have the chance to bury my face in his glutes. It’s just such a work of art. I think we know where you stand on Best Bod…

Kid Karisma – Best Body of 2015?

Bard: I’m continuing my campaign from last year, arguing that Kid Karisma has, hands down, the finest body in wrestling these days. You?

Drake: For me it’s kind of a crowded field. We have the return of the ridiculously shredded and acrobatic MJ Vergara. There’s my penultimate favorite of Chace LaChance who won my vote last year (although that might have been influenced by just how viciously his centerfold spread in a Florida magazine seized my balls). Flash looks fucking fantastic and has won my worship this year, after years of despising him. You also have Logan Vaughn who I think has brought this fucking fight to a standstill with those gargantuan legs, and then you’ve got past favorites like Yawn Dumont and ZzzMan, oh, oh and Rio.

Bard: Yawn Dumont!? As the president of the Lon Dumont fan club, let me just say you’d draw blood bumping against his razor sharp cuts, Cheshire Cat.

Drake: Come on! That was fucking clever and you know it!

Bard: I concede how clever you think you are. If there were a category for best legs (and fuck, why is there not!?), Logan would own it now and always. You seem undecided with Best Body this year, but I suspect I know which match you think was Sexiest.

Drake: Sexiest match…hmm…let’s see. As I’ve stated previously, Trey Dixon versus Logan Vaughn is a huge contender for this title, even though I don’t remember it getting totally explicit. Then you have the fun little three-way with Chace vs Kayty. But I don’t think any of it quite measures up to the head of steam and pool of sweat worked up by yours truly and the ginger.

X-Fights 39 – Sexiest Match of 2015?

Bard: Credit where credit is due, X-Fights 39 was smoking hot. I have to give it to you, I put it in my first place position as well, followed by Trey & Logan. My third choice would be Kayden and Leo’s match. Wow, wow, wow.

Drake: It was pretty hot watching Kayden munch on Leo’s ass

Bard: For best mat match, do you also put yourself in the top spot? I think I’d throw in with a dark horse candidate for Blaine Janus and Andy Hammer in Matmen 25.

Janus vs Hammer in Matmen 25 – Best Mat Match of 2015?

Drake: I love me some Andy Hammer, and I’m an admitted Janus fanboy, but besides the obvious choice in my match with Ponce, the only real contender I see is coming from Karisma and Marco in Undagear 23. That was a spectacularly sexy little mat rumble. I mean, they’re shorter dudes so they’ve got that sexy, compact, bite-size musclehunk thing going on, and just watching them wrap each other up in that sexy, sinewy hardness…mmm baby!

Bard: Seeing sensational Marco go full monty and give a sweaty flex show in humiliating defeat was a huge highlight of this year. I concur: Mmmmm baby. There were lots of ring matches this year to choose from. Which gets your vote for the best?

Drake: Talk about a crowded field! Well, we definitely can’t go without giving credit to Fan Fantasy 2 with Jonny and Chris. Phenomenal performers, consummate professionals, and HUGE legends in our company. And it was super hot watching Flash pound Van like a 2-dollar steak in Gut Bash 12. But I kinda think I’ll go with my dick on this one and cast my ballot for The Comeback with Mazetti versus Biff.

The Comeback 2 – Best Ring Match of 2015?

Bard: It’s a complete toss up for me between The Comeback & Trey & Logan’s Florida Fight. Both were hot ring battles, and both pushed me way over the edge.

Drake: Oh, don’t get me wrong, I loved Trey versus Logan, but I just think in terms of pure ring skill and talent, I gotta go with the examples I gave. And I’m so ashamed that this keeps happening, but… Barefoot Babyfaces with Blaine and Cameron. Can we just…give them all of the awards that I’m not qualified for?

Bard: You are such a fanboy!

Drake: I mean, seriously, this match touched sooooo many of my buttons. I seriously have not felt this way about a match since I was introduced to BG thru Nick Archer versus Josh Avery. I think that’s why it keeps missing notice when we talk about this stuff, because it’s completely transcended this year for me. Instant classic. I fucking love it.

Bard: Wow! That’s as unqualified an endorsement as I’ve ever heard.

Drake: Unqualified? Then why the hell did you ask me for my opinion on this shit?

Bard: Don’t take offense, Drake. Fuck, your fuse is short. Gotta get you back in the ring and light that thing again. Now, when it comes to Best Squash, as I mentioned, I really like Lane’s work all over luscious Richie Douglas, and Kid K’s handling of Marco Carlow was definitely a squash. Where is your squash-loving eye drawn for the best squash?

Karisma vs Carlos in Undagear 23 – Best Squash of 2015?

Drake: While I very much enjoyed Flash’s beat downs of both Van and Biff, I think this one just plain belongs to Fan Fantasy 3 Guido and Chet.

Bard: Guido and Chet, definitely a sweet squash. So, you’re an insider, so perhaps you can clear up the next category from last year’s Besties. What are we voting on when it comes to “Best Submission?” I mean, there are matches nominated, but not specific submissions. What’s up with this, and who are you voting for this year?

Drake: I never knew for sure, but my suspicion is that maybe this started out as like a “Most Creative Submission” type thing when they were planning out some ultra-specific nomination? Or maybe it’s Best Submission Match? If it’s the latter than it would have to go to Jonny versus Stone in Submissions 10. Jonny is a master of the submission hold, as he comes up with shit on the spot and always executes the shit flawlessly. If we’re going by my original interpretation, then Blaine’s long corner turnbuckle headscissor, singlet bound, choke out of Cameron Matthews in Barefoot Babyfaces.

Blaine’s tied up headscissor on Cameron in Barefoot Babyfaces 2 – Best Submission of 2015?

Bard: I’ve been torn between those two possible interpretations. You are like a dog with a bone with the Barefoot Babyfaces, now aren’t you? I need no coaching when it comes to knowing what I like for Best Liplock. Unlike ring matches, there were precious few liplocks this year, and I’m bitter about that. But your make out with Steven Ponce and Kayden and Ty’s snogging session in Ring Releases 2 were sensational. What’s up with so few liplocks in 2015, do you think?

Drake: Yes, yes this match is criminally underseen and underdiscussed. And I totally agree the sexiness factor this year was about as scarce as ring matches were plentiful, which is crazy unfortunate. This year I think I’ll reclaim my title from my debut year.

Ponce versus Marcos in X-Fights 39 – Best Liplock of 2015?

Bard: I’m impressed with your dispassionate objectivity and understated restraint (sarcasm dripping).

Drake: Now as to why the liplocks are so few, I don’t know. That’s also another area of speculation. Maybe the fans wanted to see more wrestling and less porn this year? I do know that there’s a long, arduous process that goes into putting a catalog together, and when combining fans’ wants with personal professional choices, something has to give. We had a LOT of stellar and new talent this year, and there’s a ton of sexy muscle to sink our teeth into, so who knows?

Bard: So, the final category is 2015’s Best Match. I’m waiting in suspense as to whether you’ll pick your own match or Barefoot Babyfaces.

Drake: I’m gonna take the high-road for once Bard. Instead of telling you who you should vote for (me), I’ll tell you who the nominees should be: The Comeback with Joe and Biff, Barefoot Babyfaces with Blaine and Cameron, X-Fights 39 with Drake and Ponce, and Fan Fantasy with Guido and Chet. What about you, Obi Bard Kenobi? What is the absolute top match to come out of BG in 2015?

Vaughn vs Dixon in Florida Fight 5 – Best Match of 2015?

Bard: You travel the high road!? Now that’s the first contender for biggest surprise of 2016. Anyhow, my short list also has The Comeback, Trey & Logan in Florida Fights 5, and, yes, your sexy, erotic sweat battle in X-Fights 39.

Or Ponce vs Marcos in X-Fights 39 – Best Match of 2015?

Drake: I mean, if I didn’t know just how amazing my match was then I’d say you’re just flattering me, but…

Bard: I’ve always been a major fan of your work, Drake. I particularly enjoy your weeping and gnashing of teeth when a blogger has you trussed up but good, but alas, that was 2014.

But that was 2014.

Drake: Yeah. It was. So shut up.

Bard: Never, buckaroo. Anyhow, this has been very illuminating. Based on our discussion, I’m going to go back and review some of these matches before the voting begins. Before we wrap up, any final details you care to give about what you see 2016 holding for you?

Drake: I see 2016 being a very productive year for me both on and off the mats. Blog updates, writing, wrestling…I’ve never really given anyone reason to follow my blog, so if you haven’t started following me, this is the year to do so.

Bard: You’re planning on updating your blog again?! This will be a banner year, now won’t it?

Drake: What does 2016 hold for you…besides your cumuppance at my hands?

Bard: I think this is going to be a great year for me. I’m looking for positive and exciting changes behind the scenes. I’m looking forward to writing more fiction, snagging more interviews, and once I’ve repeated my performance in our rematch, maybe I’ll do a little web redesign after choking the administrative passwords out of you for drakefuckingmarcos.

Drake: Ha! Look at you. You just wrote some fiction right there!

Bard: Only time will tell, Drake. It’s been a peculiar and perverse pleasure chatting with you, as always. I hope 2016 gives you everything you’ve got coming to you. And I mean that sincerely.

Drake: And you as well Bard. Always a pleasure…kinda.



Flying Tiger

There are some wrestlers that predate my discovery of homoerotic wrestling sufficiently to be cemented in my perception as having simply “always been there.”  Chuck “Flying Tiger” Collins is one of those wrestlers who had already come and gone from active duty at BG East before I ever discovered them, but at no point was he forgotten.  I’ve spent considerable time in the back catalogs of BG East and the “vintage” photo montages in the Arena, and regularly has Flying Tiger grabbed me by the balls and stared me down.  Gorgeous, athletic, confident, he always seemed ripped from the pages of an 80’s Playgirl cover and slapped into the middle of my wrestling fantasies. To get the opportunity to stumble across him online and swiftly apply my full-throttle appeal for an interview in an instant was a thrill, but nowhere near the delight of getting to correspond with this classic hunk and see what’s become of him, and whether he’d be willing to join the ranks of classic wrestlers making an encore appearance in the ring.



Classic Chuck “Flying Tiger” Collins

Bard: Chuck “Flying Tiger” Collins!  What an unexpected thrill and honor to get to chat with you. Classic BG East wrestling fans will remember you from the inaugural Motel Madness and many matches in the Private Bouts collection. I feel like I should know this, but tell me how you earned the name Flying Tiger.

Chuck: Bard, it’s my pleasure to get a chance to chat with you, especially since it’s been so long since I’ve done any wrestling vids.  As to my name, “The Flying Tiger,” I was known for some pretty wild aerial moves in the day, so “flying” kinda stuck.

There’s a reason they called him “Flying Tiger!”

Bard: It’s sometimes tough to track when BG East matches were taped. How long has it been since you last slipped into a tight pair of trunks to grapple on camera?

Chuck: Maybe 25 years since my last filming… Wow, until I just said it, didn’t realize it was that long ago.

Bard: That’s incredible! Who was your the last opponent you faced?

Chuck: I believe my last opponent was Cruze, one of my only matches in the ring up in Massachusetts.

Private Bout 119 – Chuck gets tortured by Cruze

Bard: Cruze was so fucking dangerous!  Then again, you also wrestled Kid Leopard, Andy Bailey, Brooklyn Bodywrecker, TNT, Scott Rogers. As a handsome babyface like you, who worked you over hardest?

Chuck: They were all great opponents. I recall bass Wallace worked me pretty hard in Motel Madness, but Kid leopard probably worked me over the hardest.  Only one match on film, and it was an epic battle.

In Private Bout 6, The Flying Tiger gave Kid Leopard a run for his money…
…but Kid Leopard worked him over good!

Bard: It was!  If I’m not mistaken, KL had several swipes at you, though only that one private bout 1-on-1.  He and Raw Deal tag teamed all over you and TNT, and when you faced Andy Bailey, KL intervened in that match as well. What do you think it is about you that drew such viciousness from the heel-in-chief?

Chuck: I think it was two fold. My cocky attitude for a baby face, but my skill level backed up my words, and KL stepped in wherever he could to silence me, especially when I was beating his boys! I know in my first match with Andy Bailey, he didn’t win a fall. Totally destroyed him, and it didn’t sit well with him or KL. That’s when I think they planned on KL interfering in the second match with Andy.

Private Bout 7, Kid Leopard made sure Chuck didn’t repeat his squash of KL’s good buddy, Andy Bailey.

Bard: Fuck, I love the melodrama and larger than life personalities that make homoerotic wrestling so intense! I also have major love for hot, handsome baby face heroes like you that can more than hold their own. Who do you think carries the baton for the skilled, stacked, must-be-taken-seriously babyfaces wrestling these days?

Chuck: Wow, there are so many talented wrestlers these days, Cameron Matthews, Jake Jenkins, and forgive me if I leave anyone out, but two that stand out now are Mason Brooks and Kayden Keller – both very talented leaning toward heels, but baby aced and great skill.

Bard: You have fantastic taste! That’s an excellent sample of very fine, skilled babyfaces. Which of those hunks would you pick to time travel back 25 years to tag team with you against KL and Raw Deal?

Chuck: Very interesting question, Bard. I would probably have to go with Cameron if I was selecting purely on talent, and he’s recently been very aggressive in his matches, so he and I versus KL and Raw Deal I think would be a great choice.

Back to the Future Babyface Tag Team to beat: Chuck Collins & Cameron Matthews

Bard: I agree, that sounds like an awesome choice. Cameron and you would make a fantastic, and stunningly handsome, tag team! There have definitely been many new names and new wrestling venues, new series and technologies shaping homoerotic wrestling over the past 25 years. What are your observations about what the biggest changes have been overall? Have they been changes for the better?

Chuck: Again, WOW, “so many changes” is an understatement. I think the biggest changes have been in technology. The quality of the product is so much better today. I was involved in the infancy of the underground homoerotic sport. HD, DVD, now streaming and downloading, all making for a better product as well as better availability. As to the wrestlers, I think they have gotten bigger, more physically developed as a whole. The only place I think some are lacking is in actual skill, very few can sell the match the way we old timers used to. Not all, but the really talented pool of wrestlers now is a small group indeed.

Bard: I don’t know how much it may be nostalgia, but I sometimes miss the rawer, rougher video quality and even the more improvised venues from earlier days. There was an intensity and edge that I don’t always sense in higher definition, where missed moves and every last blemish and mole are crystal. How did you join the ranks of BGE?

Chuck: I was introduced to BGE when I phoned KL telling him I was going to be in Mass for an extended period of time.  Now this was back when Hull, Mass was the BGE home site – very primitive compared to their home base now.  After a brief interview, I was set up to go up against Andy Bailey, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Bard: Had you already been a fan, then? Did you come with a wrestling background?

Chuck: I did some wrestling in school, lots of fooling around with friends, but my real background in pro was going Thursday nights down to the arena with my family to watch the matches.  Some of the old wrestlers worked out at a gym I knew, and I would watch them, then I’d try to replicate what I saw.  BGE just helped me perfect it all. And I was a fan of BGE, and was gratdful for the opportunity to try out.

Bard: Clearly you fit right in! Attitudes about sexuality have changed since then (in some ways, at least). Do you think changing levels of stigma in society in general have shaped some of the evolution of a gay-oriented wrestling company like BG East?

Chuck: I would hope so. I know there is a lot more openness now about being a wrestler for gay-oriented companies that are out there.

Bard: A regular theme I hear repeated from nearly every BG East wrestler I’ve talked to has been the esprit de corps that develops among the wrestlers there. Did you connect on a personal level with any wrestlers in particular?

Despite slapping Chuck down for the title in Private Bout 6, Kid Leopard remains a friend.

Chuck: Many, starting at the top with KL.  We still keep in touch, not nearly as often as we used to, but every now and again. I’ll get a text from a few of the other guys every now and again, just to catch up and see what’s going on, so I would definitely agree that the camaraderie that developed between the wrestlers led to numerous friendships along the way.

Bard: Are you still in fight shape today?

Chuck: Well all depends what you call “in fight shape.” I’m currently at 150 lbs, 5’8″, and 8% body fat. I workout 5 times a week using a dumbbell routine that keeps me pretty solid. Let me send you some pics and let you be the judge.

Chuck “Flying Tiger” Collins today.
Flying Tiger looks ready to rumble!

Bard: Holy shit you look fantastic! You are ripped and rocking! Any of the current crop of competitors you wouldn’t mind getting your hands on?

Chuck: Thanks, and as far as the new guys go, I’d love to get back in the ring with a bunch of them, starting with Cameron. Would love to tangle with Jake Jenkins, Ethan, possibly even Mason Brooks, Kayden Keller. And who wouldn’t want to get in the ring with Ty Alexander?

Bard: Would the Flying Tiger still be an upright babyface hero today?

Chuck: I’m thinking I’d lean more towards a babyfaced heel these days. I’ve become meaner in my old age.

Bard: I was hoping you’d say babyface heel!  Can we talk a minute about exactly how you’d handle adorable Ty?

The Flying Tiger has plans for adorable rookie Ty Alexander (photo credit and thanks to Michael von Redlich)

Chuck: Sure, he’s very cocky in the ring, and the best thing to do for that is let them get confident, then turn the whole thing around on them. A low blow here or there, then a DDT for emphasis.  That should quiet him some.

Bard: Hell and YES! I’d say bend that bubble butt over your knee and spank the cocky stud until he cries, too. So I realize I just have the pic as reference here, but you look completely in shape to climb back into the ring. If the call came, would you join the encore career hunk daddies like Shane McCall and show the youngsters how to sell? And could I get front row seats?!

Chuck: I’d love to.  I think some of us could show these young punks a thing or two.

Bard: I can’t agree more. I have to think there’s plenty of audience for that, as well. I’m also sure I’m not the only one powerfully provoked by hearing and seeing the Flying Tiger. Anything you’d like to say to the fans who will be popping their cork to read this interview?

Chuck: Just that it’s been an honor and a pleasure speaking with you.  It’s nice to know our pioneer work in the field hasn’t been forgotten, and it’s always nice to meet real fans.

Bard: It’s been a profound pleasure to chat with you, and you are most definitely not forgotten. In fact, I’m 100% certain there are all new fans and fantasies ignited by your ripped, 8% body fat, hottie self today! And seriously, although I know KL strictly forbids outside spectators at BG East matches, please lobby for me should you get the call to spank some young upstart’s bubble butt!

Chuck: Will do! And thanks again.

Chuck “Flying Tiger” Collins is still pumped and primed for wrestling action.

Getting Stronger, Lasting Longer

I’ve been trying to coordinate schedules with Jayden Mayne for nearly a year now in order to get some time with this young stud for an interview. He’s got leading man good looks, a ripped young body, and a dangerousness about him that made me take notice of him from the very beginning. We finally pulled it together for what I hope will be just the first of many interviews as this ambitious giant-killer advances further in his wrestling career.  As you’ll see, Jayden’s got plans.

Jayden Mayne – 5’8″, 147 pounds

Bard: I’m so excited to get the chance to talk with you, Jayden.  I have documented proof that I’ve been a big fan of yours from the first time I laid eyes on you in Ringwars 19. What experience did you have when you first showed up wrestling at BG East?

Jayden: I didn’t have very much experience before I started with BGE, other than wrestling my kid brother and friends grown up.  I learned a lot from watching TV. It was something I’ve always wanted to do.  I feel like a superstar when I step into the ring.

6’1″, 195 lb Trent Blayze can’t quite believe how far handsome lightweight Jayden pushes him in Ringwars 19.

Bard: You look like a superstar, too, stud! That face, that body, that attitude… you grabbed my attention instantly. Speaking of attitude and being a superstar, what’s it like from the inside being that ripped young stud climbing through the ropes to do battle? Who are you channeling and how would describe the persona you take with you into the ring?

Jayden: I would describe my character as a professional wrestler as being ready anytime to take on whoever dares to step into the ring with me, no matter how big he may be.  I think people underestimate the smaller guys in this line of work.  I’ve always been portrayed as the “underdog,” but I’ll tell you, I always put up a hell of a fight.

Bard: Damn straight, you do!  I love that edginess that you have when you wrestle.  I’m stunned that you didn’t have much prior experience because I always read you as seriously dangerous, even going against much bigger guys.

Jayden loves the feel of a flipping big man across the ring!

Jayden: I live for that challenge! There is nothing better than flipping a 220+ pound beast over my head and seeing the look on their face as they fly overhead. I like taking on bigger opponents because I like that challenge. I’m working hard right now to get my weight up and hope to be around 160 pounds in my next bout. Then maybe me and Joe Robbins can meet again, except I’ll be doing the bulldozing!!!

Big Joe Robbins is a giant Jayden couldn’t conquer… yet!

Bard: I’m a little breathless right now just hearing you call out 240 pound Joe Robbins for a rematch.  Save me a front seat for that show!  I’ve got a major soft spot for a smaller guy who puts major hurt on the big boys.  Therefore, clearly, it should come as no surprise that I love watching your matches.  So you’ve wrestled in the ring, the BG East gazebo, the backyard. Where do you feel you wrestle best?

Jayden: I feel like the ring best suits my fighting style. I like to throw some punches, as you saw in Gloved Gladiators. The ring allows me to do that and use my quickness and agility to my advantage.

Bard: Another thing I feel like I pick up from your ring persona is that you’re likely to say shit like it really is.  So I’m just going to throw this out there and see where it goes: who’s the most annoying opponent you’ve faced so far?

Attila Dynasty was quite a dick.

Jayden: Attila.  He talked a big game but seemed like he couldn’t handle the heat when I put the beat to him with the gloves. So he had to resort to a low blow to gain the edge on me.

Bard: See, that’s what I mean!  I just knew you’d wouldn’t be one of these wrestlers who tries to avoid saying the honest shit about opponents.  And I love that you mention that match with Attila.  You owned that acrobatic son of a bitch when it was a boxing match. I thought you were going to knock him out before the gloves came off, despite knowing full well that this is BG East wrestling we’re talking about. But then holy crap, he exploits the low blows and rides you relentlessly. What a dick.  And I mean that both literally and figuratively.  Is there anybody you’ve met at BG East who you’d call out for being all talk?

Jayden executes the upset of the century on the “unstoppable” Jake Jenkins in Gazebo Grapplers 13.

Jayden: Jake Jenkins was a big talker, but I wrapped that boy up! (laughing)

Bard: Hell yes you did!  I did not see that coming either.  And knowing now that you had very little wrestling background makes that match that much more astonishing, since Jake is constantly billing himself as the total package, high school state wrestling champ, MMA fighter, fitness model, etc. etc..  The look of shock on his face getting owned by you is priceless!  Who have you met at BG East who seems like someone you could hang out with, go drinking with and enjoy?

Jayden: I would like to party with Jonny Firestorm. He’s been in the game a while and seems “real” to me. I’d definitely toss a few cold ones down with Jonny.

Bard: Solid choice, I think.  Jonny seems like he has a lot of friends who speak highly of him. My mind keeps going back to your Catchweight match against gargantuan Joe Robbins. When you’re walking into a match so overwhelmingly the underdog, when you know you’re very likely to take a major league beating, what keeps you focused?  What do you do to face down the odds and the fear?

Jayden just gets stronger and lasts longer when he gets bulldozed by the big boys.

Jayden: I have taken a few beatings, yes, but each one makes me stronger and last longer. I was not raised as a “pansy” or a quitter. It makes me train even harder. Soon, I will be a force to reckon with!  Mark my words!!

Bard: My money is on you! What does it mean to you to be a wrestler, to be someone fans rally around and want to see more of?

Jayden: Wrestling keeps me in shape and allows me to experience something that people all over the globe only dream about! I’m very fortunate to have as many fans as I do.  I’m hoping to expand in the next year, and maybe offer some private matches or specialty videos. Is there anything Jayden Mayne fans would like to see?  Ideas?

Bard: I’m always, at all times, full of ideas for seeing hot studs like you wrestling!  I’ll start cataloging my Jayden Mayne fantasy match ideas for you now, and perhaps we’ll see some more inspiration from other fans who know you’re open to suggestions.  You mentioned that wrestling keeps you in shape. I for one, love the shape you’re in.  Is there a particular body part that you’re most proud of?

Total package.

Jayden: I’m not proud of any certain body part, because Jayden Mayne is the total package! Do any of my fans disagree?!

Bard: I’m going to go out on a limb and say, no, there are no Jayden Mayne fans who would dare quibble with the truth that you possess an incredibly hot look, head-to-toe, including lots of great parts right in the middle.  I’m fascinated to see what you look like with an additional 10 to 15 pounds of muscle on you, once you reach that goal you mentioned.  Is there anything else you’d like to tell (or ask) fans who look forward to more wrestling from you?

Jayden: I’d like to thank all of my fans, and I plan on coming back stronger than ever. Hopefully expanding my career, doing some work for some other companies or venues as opportunities arise. I’m always open to suggestions. In fact, I’m looking forward to hearing what the fans would like to see from me next!

Bodybuilder Darius learned the hard way not to underestimate the giant-killer Jayden Mayne.

Bard: Awesome attitude that will do nothing but earn you more fans, Jayden! And I’d just like to add that I’m just a little infatuated with your role as giant-killer, so I hope we see more of you shocking and awing the big boys who overlook an “underdog” like you. Just ask Darius or J.J. what’s at stake in not taking Jayden Mayne seriously enough! Keep us updated on what’s cooking in your world, and if you get some inspiration from fans about new career moves or custom matches, I hope you’ll feed all of our imaginations by letting us know about it.  Thanks so much for taking the time to chat with me, Jayden. I’ve got nothing but respect and high hopes for where wrestling takes you next.

Open for suggestions, Jayden Mayne is just getting bigger, better, and hotter by the moment!

Bouncing Back

Out of the blue, I received a cold call message from none other than the homoerotic wrestling classic giant, Clint Morgan. I’ve mentioned before that I’m a fan of this classic heel from the early days of the homoerotic wrestling industry.  Like so many wrestlers I’ve chatted with, Clint appreciates the kind word and sincere appreciation of his work.  I, of course, asked for an interview.  It took us a while to sort out the logistics, but we finally started.  It took a little while for the conversation to warm up (as you’ll see), which I owe to my perpetually picturing big Clint beating the hell out of me if I said something irksome.  Things did, indeed, start to warm up, though, and in fact I was surprised by the quantity of heat we tapped into.  I probably shouldn’t have been, though.  Have you seen this stud wrestle!?  Talk about heat!  Anyway, this should surprise absolutely no one that Clint Morgan has opinions, big, strong, ballsy opinions that he’s not shy about sharing. So settle in, put on your acid wash jeans, and remember the mullet as I sit down for a chat with one of the sexiest things to emerge from the 1980s.


Clint Morgan

Bard: Clint Morgan! Holy crap, this is such an honor to get to talk with you! You’ve haunted my wrestling fantasies ever since I first came across some of your matches for BG East. Are you still wrestling today?

Clint: Thank you. Only occasionally, private matches.

Bard: What wrestling experience did you have before wrestling for BG East?

Clint: I wrestled a friend many times while in high school.  These were private and clad only in jockey briefs. Later I was studying martial arts when I saw an ad for BG Wrestling.  I became a member, began receiving literature and pictures. Saw a solicitation for wrestlers and signed up. This was 1987.

Bard: Wow, BG East just opened up the mail and found Clint Morgan ready to wrestle?! Jackpot! What are some of your memories from when you were just starting to wrestle with BG East? Were you nervous? Excited? Turned on?

Getting paid well to do something he loves

Clint: Not exactly BG East. It was BG Wrestling. Bill George contacted me, requested pics of me, forwarded them to Kid Leopard in Boston who contacted me. KL flew me up and did my first matches. Got paid well to do something I loved, and all the emotions you asked were there.

Bard: Oh sure! That portion of history where BG and BG East separated is fuzzy in my mind. You got your hands on some amazingly hot guys. Bryan, Scott Rogers, PJ, Shane McCall… Are there any memories on the mats or in the ring that stick out for you, good, bad, or ugly?

Clint had Bryan right where he wanted him during their second match, featured in Demolition 2.

Clint: Oh yeah. I actually wrestled Bryan twice. Great guy and wrestler. Learned a lot from him technically. McCall was the toughest pro match and one of the hottest private matches in my life. All BG wrestlers were really cool guys.

Bard: I’ve heard from several BG wrestlers past and present that they felt a powerful camaraderie with the other wrestlers. It sounds like that was the case for you, too. Was there a closeness off camera that you think made the action on camera that much more intense? And is there any photographic or video evidence left of that hottest private match ever with hotty Shane?!

Beautiful Shane McCall suffered long and hard when they met on camera in Wrestlefest 1.

Clint: It was a fraternal environment. Sadly, no video.

Bard: So I think of Clint Morgan, and I think 6’4″, stunningly sexy, devastatingly powerful, more than a hint of cruel sadist about him, take shit from no one, relishing an opponent’s screams of panicked submission, and making it all hurt a little longer than really necessary to get the point across. How much of that jives with your impression of who you were in front of the camera, and how much of it coincides with who you are off camera?

Clint: Your descriptive narrative is directly on point.  Clint is only a character created from my own laughingly twisted psyche. Although if genuinely angered, as has happened in the past, he tends to show up and take over. A form of an alter ego. Thanks for the compliments, by the way.

Bard: Trust me, it’s my pleasure to get to tell you in person what a delight it is to watch you terrorize a wrestling opponent! You still have extremely loyal fans of your catalog. Were there any particular reasons you stopped showing up on camera?

The match description refers to Clint as “bigger, nastier, wilder; this ultra stud is now and ideal s/m leatherdude icon cum to life!”

Clint: In life there are unavoidable challenges like the devastating loss of my hero and best friend: my father. Then I, for many years just wandered aimlessly. Still worked but lost purpose. Suffered depression and drug addiction but beat all of it without professional help and now 11 years clean. Going back to the gym and rebuilding my body.

Bard: All the respect in the world for the rough road you’ve traveled. So sorry for the loss of your father, but congratulations on your 11 years. I’m just going to assume you’re heading for the biggest comeback in BG East history, so who are some of the current wrestlers who you’d like to get your hands on first?

First on Clint’s list: Tyrell Tomsen

Clint: Tyrell Tomsen. Is that his name? [laughing] Big black stud who wrestled Braden Charron.

Bard: Hell yes! Tyrell is a fantastic choice to start with! Damn that body is incredible. Any ideas where you’d start when introducing him to the brutal world of Clint Morgan?

Clint: Abs, pecs, throat.

Bard: Yes. Yes. And Yes! Tyrell has faced some awesome competition, but I feel like he has yet to really encounter a full on session with a true heel. Would you like to face him in the ring? On the mats? In a back alley? In my living room?

Clint: Name it. But I want an all out rip ‘n’ strip match, no rules, winner take all.

Bard: In that case, I definitely want to see that happen in my living room! And by “all” I hope you’re referring to that stellar ass of Tyrell’s. He’s a stunning combination of being painfully pretty and incredible meaty. Is that a particular combo you like in an opponent?

Clint: I absolutely crave it. I like black, white, anybody built with a nice ass.

Bard: Hell yes, now we’re talking! Again, Tyrell has had his ass stripped a couple of times, but never by someone who seems to really appreciate it the way it deserves. Any other current wrestlers with asses you’d like to take possession of?

Imagine this: Clint Morgan meets Dick Rick!

Clint: Dick Rick is another one that comes to mind. Cameron Matthews is also one that I would like to have a pro match with.

Bard: Holy crap, Dick Rick meets Clint Morgan in the ring, no rules, anything goes!? I’m swooning as we speak. And when it comes to Cameron, he’s grown into quite the beautiful specimen of beef lately. I’d also like to recommend Kid Karisma get on your short list. Two-time best butt winner? That irrepressible attitude? I’d give a kidney to see Kid K face the epic reboot of Clint Morgan!

Clint: I know Karisma from Colorado. Met him a couple years ago at a bar named Charlies, where I was a bouncer.

Would Kid Karisma get bounced!?

Bard: I think he’s packed on muscle mass in the past couple of years. Cute as a button and lives to bully. I think he definitely deserves a session with the bouncer. Can we talk numbers? Your BG East profile says you’re 6’4″. Is that an exaggeration, or are you seriously that tall?

Clint: 6’3” barefoot. Boots add an inch.

Bard: 6’3″ barefoot sounds pretty perfect to me. That’s a lot of real estate that I’ve seen you use to devastating effect. Are there holds that you feel make the most of that long body? Any particular moves that a whimpering Tyrell would find himself in?

Clint: Rack is my favorite, but I have many including abdominal stretch, Boston crab, surfboard, and the list goes on and on.

Clint always makes the most out of his 6’3″ frame.

Bard: A rack from that height is a fantastic thing to see. Is there anything that you think is missing from today’s homoerotic wrestling industry that was there when you were taping? There’s a lot of “nostalgia” wafting around among wrestling fans, but I’m not sure if it’s really about what’s showing up on camera, or if it’s more about changing times, changing tastes, and rose-colored glasses about the early days.

Clint: Glad you brought that up. To some, what I and others did years ago seems primitive. Today what I see is pretty, gay, and gay-for-pay boys (like Rio Garza) who either don’t know how to wrestle or aren’t convincing attempting it. It is sad, but older, heavier guy don’t sell videos like young pretty boys do, and the proprietors of these video companies have sold out literally in my view. The days of good old school pro wrestling are pretty much gone. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good private sexfight/cockfight as much as anyone, but only with two guys who know how to dish and sell.

Bard: Tough words, which I’d expect no less from Clint Morgan! So if you were master of the universe for a day, you’d make more old school pro bouts happen, with better dish and sell? I’m with you. And including more mature bodies and skills alongside of the pretty young things? Absolutely. Anything else you’d make happen?

Clint: No gay-for-pay allowed. Reason: they won’t in most cases seal the deal if it got to that. And all would be properly schooled and instructed then totally rehearsed before ever appearing on video. I’m tired of this ridiculous and repugnant garbage these companies are putting out there. At least Van Darkholme’s guys can, for the most part, wrestle. Sadly not pro, but you get the idea.

Bard: You’re talking about Naked Kombat? I go back and forth with them. There’s a sweet intensity about their format, but the pornboys often are more heart than substance. And the sex round is often pretty rote and oddly formulaic for a pretty unscripted sense of the combat.

Clint: Agreed, but I didn’t mean to indicate they were perfect. Just in my view on average better than the others.

Bard: Any guys there that you’d like to get a good hold of and score points?

Clint: There’s a few. DJ wrestles pretty well.

DJ was always packing major league heat at Naked Kombat!

Bard: I completely agree about DJ. He was incredibly athletic and incredibly intense. So lean, downright skinny even, but kicked ass way above his weight class (not that NK has weight classes). If you could hand pick two lightweights to try to handle you, any particular duo (NK, BGE, whoever) you’d like to crush two at a time?

Clint: Gill Barrios and Kip Sorrell.

5’9″, 165 lbs, Gil Barrios

Bard: Tasty treat! Very, very nice lightweight combo. How would that one finish off, would you imagine? And please tell me it involves that Ken doll Kip gagging on his own trunks.

Clint: Yeah and Gil ‘s naked bod draped across Kip’s, with Gil’s cock in Kip’s open mouth.

Clint Morgan has plans for Ken Doll Kip.

Bard: Perfection! Damn, I want to see your comeback. Your brutally honest critique of the state of the industry notwithstanding, I hope you don’t mind me putting this angle out there: Clint “the Bouncer” Morgan returns to clean house and bounce any pretty boy who can’t sell out of the business. Terrorize the gay-for-pay class. Brutalize the twinks who just want to look pretty. The Bouncer tosses the riff raff and becomes the antihero of 85% of homoerotic wrestling fans. What do you think?

Clint: LOVE IT!

Bard: Awesome. It’d sell huge among the fans I talk with. You get your 6’3″ body into the shape you need to pop Tyrell’s cork, and I’ll work on the buzz. I have to say, Clint, how pleased I am to get this glimpse of you. You are as engaging and provocative in your reflections as you are terrifying in action. And that’s saying a lot! Anything you’d like to say to your fans who are instantly lighting a torch for the dream to see you on camera again? Any words for the Clint Morgan devotees that think the industry was never quite as thrilling as when you where staring way, way down at a quaking opponent?

Clint: I am grateful to all of my fans. Grateful for their adulation and appreciation of my work. Without them I am nothing more than a vaudeville style freak show. So thank you all. Oh, and one last thing. Better watch your back, Tyrell!

“You’d better watch your back, Tyrell!”

Bard: Hell yes! Will you keep me posted on how the training is going, what piece of fluff finds his way onto your bouncer list, etc?

Clint: Absolutely, Bard.

Bard: Fantastic! Well, I’ll say it again, this has been an outstanding pleasure. On behalf of a ton of fans I know, thanks for taking the time to let is know what you’re up to. All the very best for what lies ahead for you, and I’m desperately hoping that includes your return to the ring to clean house!

Clint: Thanks for the interview, Bard.

Clint Morgan doesn’t hold back.

Letter from the Trenches

Neverland has been getting some interesting comments lately. Take a couple of weeks ago when I posted about my ongoing infatuation with Brit beauty Chris Xaos.  It wasn’t that fellow Brit wrestler and BG East alum Neil Hewitt felt like I’d make any particular errors of commission, just errors of omission, as in I’d omitted to mention more British homoerotic wrestlers. I challenged Neil to give me glimpse of homoerotic wrestling life on the other side of the Atlantic to round out my taste for British fare, and the handsome stud promptly responded.  I’m hoping to nail Neil to a full-on strip-stakes interview (well, at least an interview) sometime soon, but in the mean time, Neil gave me permission to share these updates in his own words. Americans, put on your British accent filter that invariably makes us feel a little outclassed, and enjoy these eloquent words of a hardworking hunk.


Hi there Wrestlebard!

Following-up your request to get you some more detail on other UK wrestlers for your Neverland site can I kick off with myself maybe to get you up to speed with at least one other UK wrestler!

I have added a few pics of myself from BG East and other pro-wrestling occasions and events so at least you know what I look like.
I’ve been wrestling since university and started in freestyle/amateur style moving on to submission wrestling and then into MMA and BJJ grappling. I always loved Pro-Wrestling and wanted to live the dream and become one but too late into life and after building my career I was able to get back into pro-style wrestling through wrestling in clubs and private matches with guys off contact websites like Meetfighters and Recon. I was discovered by a pro-wrestler at one of the shows who asked if I would train with them which I did and was lucky enough to get asked to do public shows with this promotion. I have now done about 14 shows so still in my early days for an ‘old guy’ like me who is very much of the ‘Old School’ type of pro wrestling; however it seems to go down well and for a guy over 50 I do OK I’m told!

I’ve now been asked to team-up with a Tag partner from the North East of the UK and we are going to be doing some shows during this year under our name: Team BadBoys (Billy and Robbie). We are training under Robbie Brookside-trained Steve Sim in Coventry and are looking forward to a successful season this year.

My career with BGEast is quite well known with my having done about 5 dvd’s now with Kid Leopard and the team there when he comes over to the UK annually. I still want to go over to his Boston and Florida bases to work there but he has so much choice now it must be difficult to squeeze me in. My BGE name is Neil Hewitt so you can look me up to see all the titles I have on the catalogs. My matches against Paul Christian and Grant and most recently Trevor Kingsley are covered well in the Forum of the BGE site and each of those wrestlers are all great in their own right. Paul is now a personal friend and we meet privately to practise our Pro technique as he and I both love the ring situation (he from a Heel perspective and me as the Blue-Eye jobber!).
Anyway enough for now but please feel free to look me up on Facebook too, where I am Robbie Neill, to see my career in photos as both a pro and private wrestler/grappler and my modelling career which continues apace here in London.

Look forward to hearing from you with any questions and requests and hope I get the opportunity of meeting you in person at some point in the States or here in London.

Take care and keep wrestling!!


I think it’s ADORABLE that Neil thinks he has to send me pictures for me to know who he is. I’ve spilled plenty of bodily fluids on him (figuratively). Between you and me, I think the world would be a significantly brighter place were Neil and Mitch Colby to tag team all over some wet-behind-the-ears babyface rookies who haven’t yet managed to drink in public legally (in the US). And I’m determined to take him up on that face-to-face meeting at some point.  In the mean time, here are those photos Neil promised.

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Letting the Horse Out of the Barn

Mason Brooks and Drake Marcos are no strangers around neverland. They’ve both been gracious interviewees, and both hunks have stayed in touch over the last year and a half as they’ve broken into the homoerotic wrestling business. So what a delight it was for me to have both of them  agree to sit down with me and give a tandem interview to reflect on how far they’ve come, and in particular break down some of the sexy details of their newly released battle with each other in BG East’s Passion and Punishment.  I shared my very enthusiastic thoughts about that match last week, so what a treat to delve deeper into that incredibly sexy battle with the two studs in question.  The conversation took some twists and turns that I did not expect, and there’s some reckoning still to happen now that some words were spoken on the record, that a particular wrestler can’t take back now. So buckle up for this wild ride with two sizzling sexy sophomores and one very turned-on blogger.

Mason Brooks and his magical nipples.
The Cheshire Cat of Homoerotic Wrestling, Drake Marcos, is getting serious.

Bard: Drake and Mason, thanks for chatting with me. This is my first time interviewing two handsome studs at the same time. Thanks for being my first 3-way!

Mason: Happy to oblige. I hope Drake isn’t too intimidated being in the same interview with me.

Bard: After the bruising you took in your recent match, Drake, I could imagine why you might feel intimidated. Any post-traumatic flashbacks sitting down for this chat with Mason here?

Drake: Always…always a pleasure, Bard. When it comes to Mason, however, I don’t believe that what I feel in regards to him is “intimidation”, per se. I would say that it’s more akin to “awareness.” No false, swaggering bravado on my part…a “no spin zone” if you will. I’m well aware that I got my ass whupped all over that mat room, very well aware. So what I feel is more of an “awareness” of what he’s capable of now, so our inevitable rematch will involve a little more calculation than what I normally bring to a match up. I’m surprised my shoulders are still functioning after that shit.

Mason sets the tone by “autographing” Drake’s promotional pic.

Bard: I have to admit, I was a little worried about lasting damage to your body as well. Glad to hear you’re still in working order and plotting the rematch. Mason, you quite clearly had a plan in mind when you arrived on the mats that day. What was going through your head when you posted Drake’s photo on the wall and wrote “property of Mason Brooks” across it?

Mason: So I have a little confession. I try to let my wrestling do the talking, so to speak. But when I found out my next match was against precious little Drake, I just couldn’t resist playing a few head games. He really is fun to mess with, even when you don’t have him locked up in a bodyscissor, and watching the frustration bloom across his face is half the fun. Besides, I needed to set everyone straight, and make them realize I’m no jobber (those last two boys got lucky, I got distracted by their Canadian-ness). So I thought, what better way to make my mark as a real threat than to, literally, mark him as my property?  Oh sure, I started with the picture, ’cause I knew that would get him going, but from the start I had visions of him lying there helpless with my name written in big letters across his chest. I planned that match in my mind a hundred times, and then I made it happen. I’m just glad they filmed it so I can watch my handiwork, and take satisfaction in a job well done. After they see this match, no one will mistake me for a jobber. And that is what we Washingtonians call controlling the narrative.

Bard: Controlling is definitely the first word that comes to my mind as I watch that session. It also seemed that sending a message was on both of your minds. How much do both of you have your fans in mind when you step onto the mat?

Things got rough and intense quickly in Passion & Punishment

Drake: If there’s one thing Drake values more than his meds, it’s his fans. It’s why I started the blog (it’s not been abandoned, promise), it’s why my undercover photo sprees are now infamous (my lips are sealed on the culprit of the last one, however). Not only was Mason’s liberty with my photo and my sharpie an affront to me, it was an affront to my fans. I mean who the hell wants Mason’s “autograph” on my picture?! And I swore to myself I would make him pay.  I had the best of intentions, I swear. Nobody can say I didn’t fight my heart out.

Mason: I also had Drake’s fans in mind.

Drake: Bitch…

Mason stays focused on the task at hand: battering Drake’s abs.

Mason: Seriously, though, when you’re in the middle of an intense match like that, part of you knows the fans are watching and you want to make something that’s enjoyable to watch, but mostly that takes a back seat to more immediate concerns, like the guy whose abs you’re beating on at the moment.  There’s no time to think about much else. Hopefully that intensity comes through and makes the match fun for everyone to watch.

Drake: I find myself echoing some of the same sentiments.

Bard: You’re both incredibly intense wrestlers who are always a blast to watch! I couldn’t help but notice you both mention during your match adoring comments that have been made about you. Of course, I’m thinking of the references to Drake as the Cheshire Cat of homoerotic wrestling and the description of Mason’s nipples as “magical.” I like to take credit for both of those talking points when it comes to your PR (though I suspect I’m not the first to refer to your nipples as magical, Mason). Do comments from fans and bloggers ever help psych you up as you prepare for a match? In other words, do you ever read your own PR, and does that ever figure into what you’re bringing into the mat room with you?

Drake: I would be lying if I said that I didn’t have the Drake Marcos’ reference section of Neverland bookmarked on my desktop. I hope you don’t mind that I claimed the Bard-coined Cheshire Cat moniker as my own. Also I have never deleted an email from a fan yet. I use this as kind of a launching point: things that fans want from my matches and always try to do fans a service that way. But in terms of psyching myself up for a match? I’m like a tightly wound spring, in that regard. Always have a bit of gear and a can of red bull in my bag, ready to go.

Bard: Mind!? Are you crazy! Turned on, more like. I just have to figure out what sort of royalty payments you owe me. Mason, do you follow your own PR, and if so, can I get kickbacks every time you use the phrase “magical” to describe your nipples?

Drake: I think we all know Mason enjoys having his considerable ego stroked…among other things.

Mason: Feel free to draw something up, Bard, and I’ll have my legal team look it over.

Bard: I’ll fax something over in the morning. There will be lots of stroking involved. So this was, I believe, the first time we’ve seen you wrestle naked, Mason. How was the experience of wrestling naked on camera for you ?

Mason and Drake let it all hang out well before the end of their brutal match.

Mason: I didn’t think too much about it, actually. It just sort of happened in the moment. And then that horse was out of the barn, as they say, so I went with it. Being buck naked is very liberating, I must say. Although one must be careful not to, (ahem), squash anything. Other than Drake, of course. I was happy to squash him.

Drake: Yeah, yeah…

Bard: Well I hope we get to see that horse liberated often! Now, Drake, this wasn’t the first time we’ve seen your trunks ripped off and your naked fineness dragged across the mat. While it’s our pleasure to see your body getting fitter with every match, it doesn’t look like you’re exactly enjoying being on the short end of another brutal, humiliating beating. In a conversation I recently had with another wrestler who will remain anonymous you were referred to as a “sweet jobber.” How do you feel about the moniker “jobber,” and what keeps your head in the game after a series of such crushing defeats?

Don’t call Drake a jobber (?).

Drake: Thank you for noting my progress; the attention and compliments are very appreciated. I think I have an idea as to just who that wrestler was that referred to me in such a manner; his wording narrows the list of suspects considerably. Maybe when you finally accept my challenge/invitation I can allay my suspicions by beating the culprit’s name out of you. Despite my less-than-stellar track record at BG, I kind of balk at the title “jobber” (because that’s what it is…a “title”, NOT a “moniker”…it’s not my name or identity. Trust).  No one likes getting their ass kicked. I was seriously untested and inexperienced when I stepped onto the mats for my baptism/trial by fire with Gabriel Ross and since then, from each and every significant thumping that I endure, I learn and take a lot that will help inform my future matches. Someone once said you have to lose your life to find it; you have to die to be reborn. I do believe that my soul crushing trouncing in the ring by Jonny along with my equally disheartening loss on the mats to you-know-who has been a… Y’know what? Just prepare yourself for the coming Rebirth. I can just feel it. How do I keep my head in the game? The fact that I know that all the “jobber” comments and dismissiveness that people regard me with are just the growing pains I have to go through before I reach my full potential. This whipping boy is taking up the lash.

Drake learning some lessons.

Bard: Sounds like we should be watching for the Second Coming of Drake. I certainly mean no offense when I ask about the term jobber. From the fan side of things, some of the hottest commodities are the sweetly selling jobbers, and as Mason mentioned during your match, you are nothing short of beautiful when your face is twisted up in agony. That said, I think I remember suggesting that if you won something in the year-end BGE awards, then I might have to take your call out seriously. So congratulations on your match with Jonny winning Best Squash, and bring it on, stud! Though, if you don’t enjoy getting your ass kicked, I’ll understand if you don’t want to risk it. What were some of the lessons you learned with Mason’s ass sitting on your face?

[extensive, awkward silence]

Mason: This isn’t the first time someone’s been dumbstruck by my ass.


Bard: I believe that. A lot.

Drake: Sorry, was answering some fan mail. I love compliments, I really do and there is a certain group that like to see me fading out in a sleeper.  Hey, I’m not going to knock people’s tastes. Fans just need to not get so…comfortable.  Even though I got completely bulldozed by Jonny, I can’t hate on it. I lobbied hard for that award.  There would have been…repercussions if I didn’t get something for that match besides bruising that lasted for a little over a week. Despite my humbling ordeal against Mason, I did learn a lot, but, Bard, what does it matter what kind of bullets are in the gun as long as the gun is loaded? It’s my ammo! To answer that question would be akin to emptying the clip. Uh-uh…no way. However, step on the mats with me, Bard. You can learn first hand just what I’ve learned.

Drake is no stranger to biting off more than he can chew. Just ask Jonny Firestorm.

Bard: Personally I’d like to see you trussed up on a turnbuckle in the ring again, but mat, ring, whatever. We’ll see what we can do, stud. Now try to pay attention as Mason discusses where he’s still learning to up his game, because you could use a little  practice scouting your competition, if you want that rematch. So, Mason, other than facing Canadians, what are your… I don’t want to say weaknesses… growing edges?

Mason: Ha, “growing edges,” I like that. I try to learn something from every match, win or lose, (not that losing is much of a concern these days). As much as a wrestling match is about physical strength and skill, I’ve learned just how important it is to go in with the right attitude, and pay attention to the mental dynamics at play.  There have definitely been a few matches–including my first few for BG East–where I went in with a certain trepidation, just because I was the new guy, or because the other guy is bigger, or talks a big game.  The truth is, though, every guy–every guy–has a part of him that feels weak and can be intimidated.  The trick is to find that and exploit it.  Some guys are just more easily exploited than others [*cough* *cough*]. So I feel like I’m getting better at that mental aspect of the competition, and I look forward to taking on the challenges that BG East has in store for me with a renewed sense of confidence.

Bard: That makes total sense, and I can clearly seeing you doing exactly that in all of your matches thus far. I also love how no one had been able to resist locking lips with you. I hope that theme continues in your march to greatness. Since you’re feeling the wind at your back, would you be willing to give Drake some pointers as he toils away at that first on-camera victory? What does he need to do to pull all of his experience on the short end of the stick together into a winning plan?

Drake: He wins one match so he’s a pro offering lessons now? What a crock!

Mason makes sure that Drake will remember this for a long time!

Mason: Ya know, green isn’t a good color on you, boy. Anyway, Bard, I think the best advice I could give is to clear your mind, forget about all your previous matches, all your previous opponents, and come at the next one like it’s your first, a real clean slate. Now, in the case of me, that might be difficult, since I’m pretty much unforgettable, but I wish him the best of luck with that. I’d like nothing better than to see Drake turn things around and notch one in the winner’s column.

Bard: Now, that’s just sweet and sportsmanlike! Since you do have more matches on your resume, Drake, do you have any gems of wisdom to share with Mr. Magical Nipples?

Mason: Oh boy, here we go…

Drake’s advice: stay away from Jonny Firestorm!

Drake: Thank you, Mason, for your words of “wisdom.” I think there’s some solid advice in there. I will say this, you may have Bard and the others fooled with this “good guy” act, but I’m unconvinced.  But here’s my advice: watch your back. And stay away from Jonny. Nothing will crush this little victory lap that you’re on faster than 5 minutes in the ring with him.

Bard: What do the two of you think about other wrestlers at BGE? In addition to Jonny, who do think are the toughest competitors currently in the mix? Which headliners are the most overhyped?

Lane Hartley: the real deal?

Drake: I think Jonny should tread lightly when it comes to Lane Hartley. The man is gorgeous and so, so deadly. Overhyped? Mason Brooks….but you said “headliners.”  In all seriousness though, every guy on the roster is there for a reason, they all have something to bring to the table, and have reached their level of popularity for a reason, and I can only hope that my star continues to shine and maybe one day as bright as theirs.

Bard: Okay, Mason, Drake has just pulled all his punches. Tell us, straight from the hip, who do you think is the real deal at BGE and who’s treading on thin ice?

Skrapper and Trey Dixon – Mason wants a piece of this action!

Mason: Let’s see. I’ve seen enough of Jonny to know that he knows his stuff. Same with Ethan Axel. They both have the skills, and it shows.  As for those two on the cover of our latest DVD, Skrapper and Trey, I’m not convinced. Both of them are a little too pretty to seem like much of a threat on the mats, but there’s only one way to find out for sure.  I guess I’ll just have to take them both on.

Bard: I just swooned. My mind is going to spin for days trying to decide in a Mason-Skrapper-Trey sandwich, who is the filling.  What do you say to prospective wrestlers thinking about trying out for BG East? Now that you’re sophomores, what can you tell aspiring homoerotic wrestlers to prepare them for what they’ll find should they make it to the dance?

Drake: First off, make sure this is really what you want to do, because once it’s out there, it’s out there. Secondly, put your training into overdrive, working for BG is not easy, it’s actually work. Now with that disclaimer, I would say that they can expect to find a feeling of homecoming: being around others with a like mind, shared vision, similar passions, camaraderie, lasting friendships, sexy wrestling (of course). However, be prepared to have your strength and endurance tested. Train like never before.

Bard: Sounds like a good gig. As I’m sitting here with you two, there are two words that keep popping up for me: tag team. A Marcos/Brooks team sounds like an awesomely sexy and dangerous pairing. Either of you thought about tag teaming?

Drake: I’m sure I can put my considerable ego aside and work with Mason, if he feels the same , especially since I know what he’s capable of now. I mean, we kind of dominated those games of pool chicken that those leaked pictures showed.

Bard: Exactly my thinking. What do you think about the idea, Mason?

They can dominate at a game of chicken in the pool. Could they team up in the ring?

Mason: Yeah, we did make a good team in the pool, and I feel like Drake was a natural in the girl’s role. It must be easier when you have a guy with a strong (and sexy) pair of legs supporting you.  I would definitely be up for a tag team match, since it’s something I haven’t done yet. Especially if they paired us up against the right team.  Maybe another recent winner/loser pair?  We just have to be careful–watching Drake can be mesmerizing, so I might get distracted and forget to come to his rescue. Or turn on him… Nah, I’m not that kind of guy. I can be a little, uhh, what’s the word…arrogant, perhaps? But I’m also loyal to a fault. If Drake was my teammate, I’d whip both the other guys, just for bragging rights. I do so enjoy bragging.

Drake: [sighs angrily]

Bard: I’m not sure that’s a formula for victory, but I want a front row seat for that match, because that would be some sweet, sexy drama! And I couldn’t agree with you more that Drake is awfully mesmerizing to watch wrestle. Between your nipples and Drake’s pretty face, I think you two could make quite the mesmerizing duo. I knew that doing this tandem interview would turn out to be a wild ride. Anything else either of you would like to say to each other… or me… or either army of your respective fans?

Mason: I just got a chance to watch the match yesterday, and I think it’s something pretty special, so I hope everybody enjoys it as much as Drake enjoyed getting worked over by me. I’ve probably said it before, but the fans are what keep us pushing harder to look our best, fight our hardest, and make the best match videos we can.  I’ve been humbled (well, almost humbled) by the amount of support and encouragement I’ve received since my debut, and it makes me eager to keep reaching for bigger and better things. Who knows what this year will hold? Maybe I’ll turn my attention to the ring. And Drake my boy, if you ever feel like getting some practice in, you know where to find me. I promise to go a little easier on you, and to leave the Sharpie at home.

Bard: Well said, of course, Mason.  You have as remarkable a facility with words as you do with wrestling. And since you mention it, I have to say that despite Drake’s comment about not enjoying getting his ass kicked, I could swear he’s enjoying it at least a little when you have him racked over your back near the end of your match. His lips may say “no, no” but that swelling cock seems to sing another tune. What say you, Drake?

Drake: Listen, at the end of the day, wrestling turns me on. Whether I’m getting my ass kicked or kicking ass (it’s gonna fuckin’ happen!!!) it’s incredibly arousing to have two sweaty bodies rubbing up against each other, muscles straining, hearts racing, breaths ragged.  It’s what drew me to it before and what keeps me coming back now. I’ll admit it, Mason’s hot, and the view of me across his shoulders only increases the sexiness tenfold.  I mean, I am mesmerizing (as you both have stated). About fans: they are everything, seriously. I probably would have withered up by this point if I didn’t get besieged with messages when I log on to global, or when I receive an email from someone who stumbled across my blog, wanting to know when I’m getting back to it (hint: soon), or telling me they see themselves on the page. I too find myself humbled and grateful to talk to people everyday that enjoy my work as well as wrestling in general, and then getting to know them as people. The digital age has made this great big world so much smaller – the little closet gay boy out in the boonies who enjoys wrestling with his friends because of his physiological response to it and has to live vicariously through the stuff he finds on the net.  I was that kid, and now I get to live out my dream. Live what you love. Granted, the world of homoerotic wrestling is a small one. We’re a niche little world and an unglamorous one but, shit, I get to live a dream!! I’ve developed some amazing friendships through this whole journey, and am eager to see what happens next and hopefully am able to give my fans (and wrestling fans in general) what they want, and have come to expect, from BG. The ride has just begun.

Bard: Obviously, Drake, you also have an awesome ability to communicate the heart and passion of what turns so many of us on about homoerotic wrestling.  I’m so inspired by your eloquence that it makes me feel a little ambivalent about needing to join the swelling ranks of guys who’ve worn you out. Mason, what do you think? Should I let young Drake off the hook for all his trash talk tossed my way, or does he need yet one more serving of humble pie?

Drake: Um, you’re fine… Looking for a way out, Bard?

Mason’s flag is planted.

Bard: [laughing] No! Just thought I should check with Mason since he appears to now own you, lock, stock, and fully aroused barrel. Don’t want to plant my flag on already claimed territory.

Drake: He only thinks he owns me! And the only planting that…you want to take this outside?

Bard: If need be, sure, but settle down there buckaroo. Mason earned the right to express his opinion on the subject right around the time he had you weeping for mercy draped across his shoulders. I’d like to hear what he has to say, seeing how he has the most recent read on just how much brutality and humiliation you can survive.

Mason: As much as I would love to think that I was the one who finally gave Drake his fill of punishment, I’m sure he’s already secretly eager for more.

Bard: Oh, no Drake. I am so sorry. I think that was the sound of your last chance leaving the building.

Drake: What are you apologizing for? I’ve been itching to show you just what I can do, Bard. That was your last chance!

Bard: Well, we can sort out the details of Drake’s next drubbing between the two of us. You two have made my first 3-way a true delight, and given me a lot to contemplate. I cannot wait to see where your wrestling careers take you next, and I hope that includes a 3-way rumble between Mason, Skrapper, and Trey, and a much needed recuperative vacation for Drake once I’m done with him. I hope you’ll stay in touch, Mason, and I hope you don’t hold it against me after I spank your ass, Drake!

Drake: Bring it, Bard…your writing won’t save you on the mats. Let’s do this!

Mason: Let me know if you guys need a ref.

Bard: If you wear speedos and a smirk, you’re hired. And my mind blowing wrestling fantasy will be complete!

Little buckaroo still hoping he can find someone he can beat.

Filling Niches

I’m always fishing for opportunities to interview the movers and shakers in front of and behind the cameras of homoerotic wrestling.  A couple of days ago, I enjoyed an extended chat with someone moving and shaking both in front of and behind the camera, Muscle Domination Wrestling’s Muscle Master Kevin.  I found Kevin to be frank, insightful and exceedingly articulate, not to mention a relentless turn-on.  We tackled some of the stickiest of topics in homoerotic wrestling these days, and I’m quite confident that not everyone will agree (with Kevin or me).  However, I appreciate Kevin setting the record straight from the perspective of a bodybeautiful entrepreneur seizing a slice of the homoerotic wrestling market and delivering what his fans are, quite literally, begging for.  As you’ll read, I made my own suggestions of what fans might be craving, so I hope you’ll consider joining my campaign and email your support of my ideas to Kevin at  Kevin also wanted me to pass along that MDW is always looking for wrestlers ready to walk on the MDW side of things, so if you’re in MDW territory, and if you dare, let him know you’re game.
Today’s guest: Muscle Master Kevin, Boss, Sir… Kevin

Bard: I’m extremely grateful for this opportunity to sit down and chat with you about my favorite topic: hot, erotic wrestling! What should I call you? Muscle Master Kevin? Kevin? Boss? Sir?

Kevin: Hey Bard, I appreciate the chance to have this discussion. I certainly have accumulated quite the number of titles since joining the scene, but we can save those for the ring, Kevin works fine.

Bard: Excellent. Kevin it is. I’ve been tracking Muscle Domination Wrestling for a while now, excited to see what you new kids on the block will bring to the wrestling scene. When did you formally launch MDW and what inspired you to venture into the erotic wrestling scene?

The Boss of Muscle Domination Wrestling

Kevin: Muscle Domination Wrestling’s initial launch was around six months ago, though we have come a long way since then, both in terms of content and design, improving the layout drastically several times, the most recent coinciding with the launch of season 3. I always had the desire to launch a sub dom themed wrestling site, but it wasn’t until some of my friends who had gotten involved with the scene told me just how huge it was that I decided to take the plunge and invest in MDW to bring something unique to the table.

Bard: I, for one, want to thank your friends for planting that seed of an idea, then. What would you say is the that “something unique” that MDW brings to the table?

Kevin: MDW is unique in that it touches on every niche while also exploring new territory. Not only do we feature everything from traditional wrestling to hardcore sub dom themes that many have been aching for, but you’ll also find features such as our cinematic blood match “the boss sees red”, as well as supernatural scenes like the fan favorite vampire match between Damien Rush and myself. And this is only the tip of the iceberg!

Immortal Vampire Kevin controls Damien Rush in body and soul for MDW VIP members

Bard: I have to say that your vampire match with Damien is one of the most entertaining, captivating ring moments I’ve seen in a long time. It’s at least as much a piece of compelling performance art as it is seriously sexy wrestling. Before I ask you more about MDW, can you tell me more about your history prior to MDW? I’m sure I saw you on YouTube building a fan base before well before you launched your own site, right?

Kevin documented his bodybuilding progress on YouTube

Kevin: I entered the Youtube scene when I was 15 to document my bodybuilding progress under the name Chaoserver, though it was a year before I got involved with doing webcam shows. After around two years my dominant steak started to show and fans loved it, giving birth to Muscle Master Kevin. It didn’t take long for my attitude to establish me as the number 1 Muscle Master in the sub dom and MastER slave scene. In fact it could be said many viewed me as the Boss of the scene, making that the perfect title to add to my long list when I launched my personal site and MDW.

Happy belated birthday, Kevin.
So happy that you’re legal!

Bard: I hope you don’t mind me asking how old you are now, because you’ve got the body of a timeless god of Olympus but you’ve got that insanely gorgeous, dangerously youthful blue-eyed babyface. Please tell me that I’m not violating any state laws as my imagination wanders into lustful flights of fancy studying your rocking body.

Kevin: If that breached the law I’d know quite a few criminals! I’m freshly 22, my birthday was on the 6th.

Bard: Happy birthday! I shall unleash all of my lustful fantasies from any constraints of guilt or social propriety now. Please tell me that you did something insanely sexy on your birthday. Youth, that body, those eyes, that attitude… please, please tell me that did something worth making that a day to live in infamy!

Kevin: I certainly put this young body to use, but I’ll spare you the details, although I know there are some who would find details of my sex life fascinating!

Bard: Yes. Fascinating is one word for it. I’m glad to hear youth (and beauty) are not wasted on the young, in any case. Going back briefly to your YouTube days, I have a good friend and friend of this blog who recently told me that he remembers following you for a while on YouTube but getting turned off when he heard you throw down the word “fag” a lot. We’ve been having some lively conversations in the homoerotic wrestling blogosphere lately about the role of homophobic slurs in the genre. Is it true that you have (or still do) use the word “fag,” and if so, what’s your take on the backlash that some gay wrestling fans have to it?

Satisfying the niche

Kevin: I’m glad you asked, because I think this is an extremely important topic. Yes I’ve used the word, and still do in certain matches. However it is important to note this is done to satisfy the niche in the scene who crave this, or are at least curious, just as it was done in my Youtube days. The notion that I’m a gaybasher or advocate it couldn’t be more off when I’ve dedicated the last half year of my life to producing homoerotic content to satisfy them. I understand people can be sensitive, but it would be a tragedy for someone to overlook some of our great scenes because of words used in other matches directed at a niche they aren’t interested in.

Bard: I agree with you that this is an important topic, and one that can easily be oversimplified. Can you say more about the “niche” that crave watching you use words like fag? What are you hearing from fans from that niche, and in what context does it come up in your work?

Muscle Master Kevin aims to please hardcore subs.

Kevin: There are a group of people who like seeing content with the use of “fag” because they identify themselves as one, or at least do when they are viewing adult material. I’ve encountered people who find this appealing since I was 15, and the numbers have only grown since I’ve entered the wrestling scene. You’ll notice that I don’t say “Oh you’re gay, that makes you a fag” because the implication isn’t all gay people are fags, just the group who are hardcore subs and identify themselves as one’s are.

Bard: I’ve often suspected this may be the case, that the domination/submission kinksters out there may experience this language very differently from those of us more in the wrestling kink side of things. Your term “niche” here makes a lot of sense to me. I think the friction arises where people have a strong visceral reaction to words like “fag,” and those reactions seriously diverge. As for me, I find it a major turn off to hear “fag.” It carries weight that seems to imply that to be gay is shameful. But I can imagine that there are people whose erotic tastes fill that word with different baggage, for whom it feeds there erotic desire to be dominated, controlled, and humiliated. The same trigger that makes me go limp and irked may very well be exactly the same trigger that makes someone else hard as a board and fully engaged in their sexual fantasy. It makes me wonder if we’re talking about different niches within the same market, or if these are essentially different erotic genres. Woah, that just got deep, didn’t it?

Kevin: The reason I use niche is because even if the vocal triggers, and to the extent the moves used vary from these two types of matches are different, it is still gay oriented wrestling. You could separate them, and I’ve toyed with the idea of having two sections of my site, but then it gets tricky. For example some people love the “sir yes sir” type scenes, but not the “fag” ones, while others aren’t a fan of either and would rather it be kept to making the jobber yell “submit”. Even though it’s usually clear what matches will feature this kind of language I think the best solution is just making it as clear on the surface what someone can expect from a match- Perhaps a “hardcore” label indicating that it has “fags” being dished out, or otherwise extreme sub dom material. MDW is constantly evolving and that seems like it might be the next logical step.

Bard: I like that possibility a lot, being highly descriptive and having some sort of label. I remember an old index of gay wrestling products someone compiled that had different symbols for different types of content (mostly whether and what type of sex was included). That might be a cool format for a site like MDW that really straddles the primarily first-person-shooter sub-dom audience and the homoerotic wrestling audience. I actually think it’s cool that you’re taking your audience so seriously as to try to provide the content that folks are asking for. And I don’t think it’s your responsibility to be the kink-police for the people who seriously love your work. I do worry about the guys out there who can’t get off without being called a fag, because I’m tempted to pathologize them as internalized homphobes. But just because it turns me off doesn’t mean I understand why it turns someone else on, so I’m just hoping that that part of your audience really owns and is empowered by the irony of paying for (and thus “controlling”) a hot-bodied hunk to talk dirty and portray a dominator in that very mutually collaborative way that sub-dom fetish folks build the fantasies that work for them. For one of my readers whose totally into that sub-dom call-me-whore-call-me-fag fetish, what’s an MDW video they should definitely check out?

Kevin: I’m glad you agree the direction we’re heading in terms of labeling is a good one. And yes- our customers completely inform what we produce. Every week I am looking at what matches are hot and basing what we produce off that. The go to hardcore sub dom scenarios are my “cash rape” scenes in season 1/2, though the second one is certainly the more hardcore. My most hardcore, and probably territory I wont explore again is “Eternal Enslavement Imposed”(It unsettled the jobber genuinely, so that says something).

Bard: Good to know! Now on the wrestling side of things, I’d like to say that I’m a big, big fan of the wrestling ring that you introduced in season 2. I felt like that investment really raised MDW’s credibility and polish, and that’s not just because I’ve got a well-known bias for a pro wrestling ring. What would be your top picks for the homoerotic wrestling fanatic to get a good sense of what MDW brings to the scene? We’ve mentioned your vampire match with Damien, which rocked me hard. What’s a good sampling of MDW-style wrestling?

Kevin: I couldn’t agree more, and am glad we got it when we did, the product is much improved by its addition- We’ve had some fantastic matches in the new ring, for sure. Damien Rushes punishment series (Piledriver, and Power Move) is fantastic, with the latter being one of our hottest matches. Morgan Cruise and his match against the Hairy Russian Wrestler in Raw Sweaty Wrestling is a pro style match, featuring some of our best wrestling story telling. And for those looking for something extra hot, Ball Bash Jerk Off edition is as good as it gets, with the organic arousal resulting in an unexpected finish!

Damien Rush digs into his heel side as he delivers Power Move Punishment all over The Justin.

Bard: I haven’t seen them yet, but the teaser of Damien turning heel at MDW is enough to make me swoon. Tell that silver-spooned punk to give me the interview I’ve been begging him for for months! Are there any other examples of new products that you’re flying that came directly from fan feedback?

Kevin: It’s interesting you ask, because Damien Rush turning Heel, as well as the second installment of his punishment series was a direct result of fans wanting to see him dominate, and then loving the way he did it. Likewise my “Cash Rape” sequel was born from fans craving more, wanting it to be even more intense. The same can be said for the Ball Bash series, which we cant make enough of, as much as people love them! Lastly Bryce’s growing following promoted him to heel status, and he’s resolved to hone his technique to an art form in seasons to come!

Bard: Awesome. By any chance, has there been a big fan demand to see a homoerotic wrestling blogger suck your nipples raw while squeezing your peaked biceps?

Kevin: Theres always been a demand for worshipping these perfect nips and veiny bis. After all my slogan is that in time all will serve me. If a certain blogger found himself in the MDW ring, The Boss would find some way to make you do just that, though there might be more pain than pleasure.

“…these perfect nips and veiny bis.”

Bard: Holy fuck, I just shed a little tear right then! Don’t be surprised if you start getting a deluge of appeals for this scenario, because I’m starting a campaign posthaste to make that happen! Where is MDW headquartered, so I know where to show up?

Kevin: The domination happens in the Boston area- So any wrestlers who think they have what it takes to compete in the MDW ring can contact the Boss, and head on in to show what they’ve got!

Bard: Boston! Damn, what do they put in the water up there to turn out such an incredible depth of homoerotic wrestling!? So I’m a little verklempt with the vision of your “perfect nips and veiny bis” dancing in my head. Give me some more details about your insane proportions and assets.

Genetic gifts and hot, hard work.

Kevin: The nips were a genetic gift, but the thick, striated, and often hairy chest I’ll accredit to lots of hours in the gym. I’ve always strived for a nice V shape, a powerful torso cascading down into a thin waist. Muscle worshippers wont miss my shredded tris, or built back either, especially when they’re being used to make someone submit!

Bard: Excuse me while I dab some sweat from my brow…. okay, got it. Tell me some numbers. I’m a numbers nerd, so how tall are you? How thick are those biceps? How ridiculously narrow is that waist? When you’re sitting on my (um, I mean an opponent’s) chest, what kind of weight is bearing down on my (um, your opponent’s) ribs?

180 lbs., 5’10’, 29 inch waist, 17.5″ upper arms.

Kevin: 180 pounds of a 5 foot 10 stud would be bearing down on that jobber, and if they tried to push me off they’d be pushing against abs on a 29 inch waist until I decided to finish them with an RNC, using my 17.5 inch bis to finish them off when I’d heard enough cries of submission.

Bard: Fuck, yes, I love numbers! That image will be keeping me up late tonight, I guarantee. And those eyes of yours… surely those icy baby-blues are photoshopped in these truly stunning photos you sent me to help illustrate this interview. Thanks for these, by the way, but tell me if your eyes are seriously that blue.

Impossibly blue eyes.

Kevin: You’ll just have to watch some of my wrestling clips now wont you? I may be the Boss but I haven’t quite managed the art of photoshopping videos. I’m sure they are compelling you now to go check out some of my matches!

Bard: You’ve pretty much guaranteed that I’m checking out more of your matches now. I get the strong impression that you are far from just a pretty face and granite carved body of steel. What are some facts about you that MMK and MDW fans may not know? What are you passionate about apart from catering to the lusts and cravings of your fans?

Kevin: Probably the most surprising is that one of my primary hobbies is writing. I’m a man who needs a creative outlet, so when if theres not a story to tell in the ring you can bet I’m crafting one elsewhere. One day I suspect you’ll find something from the Master at your local Barnes and Nobles! In the meantime you can expect that creative passion to result in some matches unlike anything else out there.

Bard: I must say I expected there might be a literary side to Muscle Master Kevin. I want a signed copy when your first novel gets published. So I notice that you didn’t respond to my plea to get Damien Rush on the line, so short of that, tell me what’s going through your mind when you’re on top of him (as you have been many, many times), controlling his hot bod, squeezing out another ounce of agony, seeing the hint of panic rising in his eyes…. What does that moment do for you, to own another man like that with the cameras rolling and nearly every inch of your hard-earned body on display for hungry eyes?

Kevin: I’ve been dominating men since I was 16 in one way or another, so its felt natural to me, when dominating him, or anyone and everyone who steps into my ring. Just like it feels natural to make them submit while taping the spectacle for all to see. I’ll have to set you up with an interview with him or Tony Law Pendelton, both of whom have been on the receiving end of that control and domination.

Damien Rush camel clutches Tony Law in MDW Season 2: Ball Spank Abuse

Bard: Dominating looks like it comes naturally to you. thanks for passing along my interest in getting Damien and Tony on the line. I’d love to get some one on one time with either of them. You’ve been charming, provocative, titillating and inspiring, Kevin! Anything else you’d like fans to know before I let you go?

Kevin: I’d like to urge anyone who hasn’t checked us out in awhile to come see all the hot content, and that we are only going to be raising the bar with hardcore sweaty Muscle Domination Wrestling. I’m glad we linked up for this interview, and am sure it wont be the last.

Bard: I look forward to the next time! And when the fans demand that session with a blogger, you know how to reach me.

Muscle Master Kevin suited up to greet a certain blogger in his ring.

A Big Teddy Bear

Former homoerotic wrestler of the month (October 2011) Aryx Quinn has one of the fiercest and most quickly mobilized base of fans of anyone featured on the pages of this blog.  Just about any poll he’s ever been part of here at neverland has resulted in his victory because within moments of the poll going live, his people are tweeting and retweeting instructions on stuffing the ballot box to over 9,000 followers.  I’ve been fascinated by his comic book proportions (tiny little waist and insanely wide shoulders) since I first saw him bring his particular brand of sexy to the BG East ring several years ago.  The opportunity to interview and get to know the curiously personable infamous heel was a pleasure for me, and the coincidence of getting to chat with him as his newest match from BG East was released, in which he takes full possession of sexy Alexi Adamov’s rippling muscles in Ring Revenge, was just fortuitous timing. The following is an odd mix of intimate self-disclosure and enigmatic diversion, which I suppose in some ways is emblematic of the complex young man who strikes terror in the heart of wrestling opponents and ecstasy up the ass of porn co-stars.

Aryx Quinn likes it hot

Bard: Just following you on Twitter is exhausting! Your travel schedule is mind-boggling! So I’m extra appreciative of you being willing to take a little time to answer some questions at neverland for your homoerotic wrestling fans. Most wrestling fans probably know you primarily as Aryx Quinn, while fans of mainstream gay porn may more readily recognize you as Tristan Baldwin. Any other names you’ve worked under? What should I call you, and where do your stage names come from?

Drake Marcos,
“time to do some fact-checking, son!”

Aryx: Thanks for the opportunity for an interview so that all your devout neverland followers can have answers to the questions that may have been itching at them over the years. Let me first begin by saying that your interview with Drake  Marcos was phenomenal. However, I think the kid’s tone in referring to wrestlers who are retired or out of the scene is somewhat off. Time to do some fact checking, son…because some of the wrestlers he referred to are very much NOT retired [laughing].
     As far as the ‘nomenclature’ or name game that seems to follow me – here is the reason why: the Aryx Quinn character’s origins were actually when I was a young teen playing Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I was a total ‘dork’ in society’s eye, but I could care less – I’m happy with me. Aryx was everything I wasn’t: tall, strong, handsome, confident.  For a pimply faced, unpopular, weak teen, he was a vessel in which to throw my dreams. Never thought I could be him,  until you fast-forward 10 years, and a stint in the 82nd Airborne later…came out as a changed boy into a man.
     Aryx was born, and into BG East he went. Out of respect for Kid Leopard, I kept the character’s name separate when taking it into a purely sexual role. The Tristan Baldwin moniker was a hybrid of two things.  Apparently, I look a bit like Stephen Baldwin, and some of my favorite characters have been named Tristan – namely Brad Pitt from legends of the fall, and Tristan from Tristan and Isolde. Other than that? There aren’t any other names I work under, and in retrospect, I wish I had just stuck with the basic Aryx Quinn for it all.

As Tristan Baldwin, Aryx gives gang-bang porn two thumbs up

Bard: You give courage to the legions of pimply faced, unpopular weaklings out there dreaming of growing into hard-bodied fight and fuck machines! I hope that’s not over the top… you’re absolutely phenomenal when you wrestle, and though I don’t spend a lot of time in mainstream gay porn, you’ve got a reputation as a crowd pleaser there as well. Since you brought up young Drake Marcos’ fawning, if slightly misleading, comments in his recent interview here, let’s start out with you telling us about where you are in your career right now. Definitely not retired, obviously! What projects are you working on now or expect to be soon?

Talk about “it gets better!”  Pimply faced weakling no more!

Aryx: Thanks Bard! I’d hardly consider myself an icon or motivator to legions of pimply faced fans, but at least I feel I would be representing my own kind well. As far as being a hard-bodied fuck machine, your’e making me blush. Don’t share my secret too much, or I won’t be able to find future victims. As far as my status with porn and also with wrestling, I’d like to think that certain aspects are like wine: they only get better with age. Right now, I’m at closest to the largest I’ve ever been in my life based on strength and muscular density. Given that I’m at my peak muscle-wise, why on god’s green earth would I stop wrestling? Although there has been a slowdown at Can-Am regarding production of a lot of wrestling videos, it is my intent to jumpstart that soon. Although there are a lot of talented wrestlers I’d like to face that are in BG East, given that the two feds do not intermix, it is unlikely that these matches will come about. Thus, Drake Marcos is safe for the time being.  As a slippery little snake you can’t get your head cut off if you don’t crawl out of your hole, after all. More likely than anything else, I’ll be participating in a bodybuilding show in the spring. Just to say I did one, after all.

Aryx trains for a bodybuilding competition

Bard: Your secret is way, way out when it comes to being a hard-bodied fuck machine, Aryx! And you say you’ve got more muscle now than ever!? I hope you’ll send me photographic evidence of this to share on the blog. I’m glad to hear that you’re planning on stirring the pot at Can-Am again. You infused a ton of character and story into their catalog when you arrived, which is something I appreciate in wrestling. But tell me, what’s up with the deep divide between Can-Am and BG East, do you think? It seems like more than just market competition. And when you arrived at Can-Am and laid down what has to be the sexiest trash-talking homoerotic wrestling challenge in history with a naked, sweat and cum soaked Rusty Stevens in Arena 1, there’s some pretty explicit Boston-trashing going on from both of you. Are there any hard feelings between you and the BG East boys?

Did Aryx cross a line
with Rusty Stevens?

Aryx: I’ll definitely keep you posted with updated pictures. As far as infusing energy into their product, I’m not the one with the checkbook, so unfortunately I don’t have the last say. Ron is doing very well with his main stream porn product line so the wrestling has, unfortunately, fallen to the wayside for him. I’m hoping to convince him otherwise. He has a great flair for the dramatic and knows what wrestling products will sell well, but there is only a finite limit of how much time there is in the day to produce content. As far as Rusty Stevens goes, I have no comment. Anyone who researches the history of things knows what was said and what was out of line. And we are talking about character and how to tell a story. IRL- In Real Life.
     As far as the comments trashing the East Coast and a certain Boston-based company, all I can say is that loyalty to a person should exceed everything else. The same mindset is not embraced in the leadership at BG East. For every new fish you think you’ll hook on the line you lose two that you already have on the strainer. Hard feelings? Lots of them. If you don’t know a good thing when you see it you’ll certainly know when it hits you with a clothesline.

Bard: Cryptic and pointed all at the same time! You’re a complex man, Aryx Quinn. Since I’m the one that has you on the line at the moment, so to speak, I don’t want you to get away without telling me some juicy bits about what you think are the highlights of your wrestling career thus far. Like I said, your verbal tussle with Rusty in Arena 1 followed by your full contact physical tussle in Arena 2 are some of my all time favorite mat moments. If you had to put your finger on one or two most memorable wrestling moments for you, what and who would you finger?

Nick Archer impressed Aryx with brains, brawn and bravado

Aryx: Well Bard, I do agree that the battle with Rusty Stevens was one of the most climactic in my career. Both muscle wise and verbal wise, he’s one of the few that could bring it to the next level. Other guys that I absolutely enjoyed wrestling were guys like Nick Archer. Such brawn, such brains, such bravado. Mike Colombo was another great wrestler that I loved squaring off with.  However, we never taped anything for BG East. It was all outside the ring. Perhaps I can release the one tape I do have of it in my own chronicles someday.

Aryx grew unintentionally stiff with Brad Rochelle

     Wrestling with Brad Rochelle was also interesting. At one point in the match (the Contract) I legitimately hurt him…was unintentionally very stiff. Brad absolutely lost it on me and for a good 10 minute segment of that match.  It was full-on real wrestling.

Mitch ripped out both of Aryx’ nipple rings

Another similar moment was when I was facing off against Mitch Colby for BG East, down in Florida [Ringwars 20]. At that time I had my nipples pierced, and I asked him if he was going to be punching me to make sure he kept the shots low and in the gut rather than high up on the chest. In all the confusion and hectic-ness of the match, he ended up punching and tearing out not just one, but both of the nipple rings, and I was literally bleeding and in intense pain during the match. It was not an easy one to work through.
     From a humor standpoint I remember during a taping when I was battling against Jimmy Gee.   Jonny Firestorm was just outside the ring. I continually was calling Jimmy a slob over and over and over again, and Jonny was just in stitches laughing.  It’s become a nonstop joke between us ever since.

Bard: You’ve got your own private collection with a Mike Colombo match?! I can name a dozen fans that would pop a cork to see that! It sounds like both the major bumps and bruises as well as the humor and good fun stand out for you. I’m glad your nipples have recovered from Mitch’s punishment! Are there any matches that stick out as particularly sexy from your perspective as a wrestler? Any particular opponents that turned you on hardest? Any particular moves, maneuvers, gear or settings that get your engine revving loudest?

Who else wants to see the lost tapes with Aryx wrestling Mike Columbo!?

Aryx: Thank you for being glad that my nipples survived Mitch’s punishment. I’m glad as well! Yes, the Mike Colombo tapes are great, but they’re very raw and rustic. It would take a lot of finishing work to make them good video for commercial use. Some fans might actually prefer that they’re so raw and rustic. As far as matches that stick out in the sexy category, to me sexiness is associated with suffering and dominance. The match with AJ Irons definitely falls into that bracket. To see him suffer so beautifully, such a great body on display, crying and murmuring in pain, is hot to me. He takes his beating like a real man, and he came back for more later, trust me. I love singlets especially singlets that are pulled halfway down from the shoulders, pinning the arms. Also love trees of woe and holding guys in the corner and in the ropes. See, you can beat them mercilessly… fuck them as you see fit.

AJ Irons “was born to be a jobber”

Bard: I’ve only seen pics from your match with AJ Irons. It sounds like that needs to go on my list of matches to see! From the promotional photos, it looks like AJ gets the full treatment, including an incredibly sexy tree of woe session. Since you’re training toward a bodybuilding competition, let’s talk for a moment about your body. At this point, when you’re at the top of your conditioning, what part of your physical development are you proudest of? What parts of your incredible physique are mostly genetic gifts, and what parts do you have to work at more?

Bulging shoulders and biceps

Aryx: Yes, AJ takes a beating like you’ve never seen before. Ron actually had to stop the taping at one point because I was throttling him so hard. But he was loving every second.  That kid was born to be a jobber.  I wouldn’t say I’m at the exact top of my point of conditioning, but I’m getting there. Once I do a few ” supplements” I think I’ll be in a better position to be competitive. Plus, I really need to tighten down the diet. My shoulders and biceps are always the biggest naturally and easiest part to train, whereas my chest and legs are the worst. I really have this mental block against training legs, unfortunately, just because I travel so much. I mean who really wants to be walking or stumbling around an airport after doing squats the day before and being unable to walk long distances necessary. It really is torture on yourself. How about you? The faceless being behind the website? What parts would you need or like to work on. Perhaps we can push each other! [laughing]

Bard: Why, thanks for asking! My core has always been my major strength. I can do an ab workout for hours. Quite a bit of Pilates and yoga have probably helped accentuate that over the years. My top weakness is the same as yours. I just despise leg workouts. I don’t enjoy them and seldom prioritize them, so it shows. Tell me the secret that works for you once you find it!

Aryx: Chances are I’ll never find. After all, the process of searching for something means you’re going to fail may times before you find it. I really don’t feel like failing that many times with legs before I find the right answer on how to do them. [laughing]

Bard: What are some things that fans don’t know about Aryx Quinn? What are some of your passions, other than dominating an opponent and fucking him dizzy?

Who’s top dog here?

Aryx: Outside of wrestling and working out, Aryx Quinn adores a tiny little black puppy named Madison… dresses her up in outfits and the whole 9 yards. I’ll have to send you some pictures. Throw those in the interview, but it might ruin the tough guy image. It’s pretty sad, but despite being a muscleboy, I still take orders from her. She’s just so damn cute. In the military I served as a paratrooper, so skydiving is still a great past time for me. I just don’t have the time to do it as much anymore. I have a personal rig and everything, but just don’t jump that often. I actually love to cook and am a huge fan of swordfish, steaks, scallops, shrimp, and especially clams like little necks, cherrystones, and quahogs. I think the real reason I like seafood is that it’s drizzled in butter. Probably why I’m such a huge fan of asparagus just because of the hollandaise sauce. Did I mention my diet needed some tightening down?  [laughing]
    Huge fan of the outdoors and being in the sun, so places like Vegas, San Diego, Los Angeles and Florida are on my list of priorities, year round. Prefer to be hot than cold any day. Aryx Quinn went to college for criminal justice but obviously not into enforcing the law …I’m into breaking it. [laughing]

Aryx “detains” and pats down hunky Alexi
in BG East’s new release Ring Revenge

Bard: Criminal justice!? Now that does surprise me. I’d have guessed economics or marketing. Then again, advanced training in involuntary detention and social deviance totally makes sense, having seen your wrestling repertoire! And the fact that you’re bonded to a dog is only further evidence of my long-standing theory that guys with dogs are automatically many times sexier. Please do send me pictures of you and Madison! I don’t think it will do anything for your image other than make you that much more of a fan favorite. Muscleboys infatuated with their puppies are incredibly hot! Can you tell me any more about your paratrooper days? My entire frame of reference for military service is limited to bad gay porn involving guys in fatigues throwing down in the barracks and fucking each other for hours on end. It’s just like that, isn’t it? [laughing]

Aryx: As far as economics or marketing, I’ve definitely always had more of a business mind than a law-enforcement mind.  However those skinned up hairdos and tough alpha male looks always attract me. Social deviance. That’s me in a nutshell. Do you know that during the polygraph screenings for the state of Connecticut for the majority of the police departments, there is a section entitled ‘deviance?’ Here there are a variety of questions that they ask you about inappropriate things you might of done at work or during sex, and believe it or not, one of the questions pertains to homosexuality… almost as if it’s a deviant topic! Why list it under this heading, unless they clearly don’t approve? So politically incorrect it’s not even funny.

Aryx stokes my military porn fantasies

     The army was an interesting time for me. I grew up very small – not very muscular – just lean and fast, but not very bulky. I swear, I put on 30 pounds the first summer when I enlisted. It really did make a man out of me. I was stationed at Fort Bragg in North Carolina with the 82nd airborne, and then later with USACAPOC, part of SOCOM (special operations command). Although our soldiers typically aren’t paid very much – the sheer majority live at or below the poverty line – it was one of the most fun and exhilarating times my entire life. Because your basic needs of food and housing are taken care of, it allows you a lot of time to concentrate on what you really enjoy… your body, going out, reading, movies. I really feel like I had less stresses when I was in the military than any other time in my life.
     Bard, you laugh! Your “bad porn” fantasy of guys in fatigues throwing down in the barracks isn’t far from the truth. It was always commonly known that if you wanted something it could be had. There was also a room at the end of the hall where we put extra mattresses… entire room was covered them. We called this the boom-boom room. If two guys had an issue they could go into the room, fight it out, wrestle it out, choke each other out, beat each other, get it out of their system. Hot, hot stuff.

Bard: Damn! I’m going to have to reevaluate my “military” wrestling porn! And I took what was, I’m sure, the same standardized mental health test that you’re talking about, for a job I once had. I was also shocked about the homosexuality questions. That test was originally developed over 70 years ago, and there are a lot of ridiculous questions that never made good sense, but today they’re downright insulting. I’m glad that times are changing when it comes to recognizing what’s “normal” is broader and deeper than what many people used to think it was decades ago.
     So I just saw on your Twitter feed that you were named Escort of the Year. Congratulations! I was just getting turned on by reading several of your clients’ extremely satisfied reviews of their time with you. It sounds like a lot of them find it a special treat to have you put on some wrestling gear and work them over as a dominating heel. What do you think about the role of wrestling kink, pain, and domination in the sexual fantasies of so many gay men?

“… at least 30 to 40% of my calls involve
wrestling or gear.”

Aryx: Although many people would look at winning an award like escort of the year and laugh about something like that, saying it’s nothing to be proud of, etc., the way I look at it is that if you’re going to do something, don’t do it half assed. Whatever you’re going to do, be the best at it. I try and bring a ton of energy to every session, and whether the guy is a great-looking muscle boy or an older, heavyset guy with physical limitations, you as the escort have the sole capability to make that person feel good. To me, I enjoy making others in this world smile. Whether it be what I do on tape or whether it be what I do in person.  It’s always nice to be remembered.
     Let me tell you, the wrestling and gear fetish is much more widespread than people think. When I say that at least 30 to 40% of my calls involve wrestling or gear of some kind… it’s pretty cool. Also, it makes you wonder. Given that there so many people out there that are into this, how come people from global fight don’t actually link up more? It seems like there are so many flakes out there or people are too closeted about it, when there is no reason to be. It’s completely normal, and if you think you’re alone, you’re not.  There are a shit ton of people into this.

“Whatever you’re going to do, be the best at it.”

     As far as pain and humiliation in the fantasies of gay man, I actually have a negative outlook on it. I get a ton of requests (that I refuse to honor) of guys that want to be punished because they are gay. Many were raised in households where it was thought to be an embarrassment, where they had to keep it closeted, so they thought they were letting their families down or were disappointments. They don’t realize that times have changed. I cannot tell you how many requests I get for being called a ‘filthy worthless faggot’, and have these fantasies about being punished by ‘straight’ jocks. I just won’t do calls like this. Physical pain and humiliation/dominance I will, but that kind of disgusting mental stuff is too much for me. I actually am a big teddy bear, believe it or not.

Bard: Regarding the “punish me” aspect of homoerotic wrestling, I’ve often wondered how much internalized crap there could be in some corners of our kink world… the “hurt me ’cause I’m just a little faggot” self-hatred script…. I’m glad to hear it’s a line you won’t cross. When I see the “smear the queer” theme in wrestling products, I have a similar response. I just walk away.

Aryx: I couldn’t agree more with the total disgust towards the ‘smeer the queer’ direction that not just some wrestling products, but mainstream porn too, is heading in! is infamous for having ‘gay-hazing’ scenes, and I cannot understand for the life of me why people are purchasing such a product! It’s disgusting! I’ll never cross that line, no matter how much you pay me. Or…errr…well….it’d have to have a lot of zeros…and then when it clears, I’ll come and kick the ass of the person who produced it,
for real. [laughing] … and use the money for my legal defense.
     By the way, boy do I have news for you! A guy who enjoys wrestling that I connect with outside of work, is friends with Drake Marcos. He FaceTimed..which is a live connection via phone like Skype… with Drake while we were wrestling together in a hotel room. So Drake saw me battle my friend for over two hours! Isn’t he just a cute little thing?! Cheshire Cat, indeed. As I was putting my friend into hold after hold, I was sure to look at the phone and give the finger and talk shit to him…and I cannot wait for the day that we get to battle.

Maddy and her muscleboy

Bard: Hot damn, that may be one of the hottest erotic wrestling fantasies I’ve heard in a long time! I have it on good authority that Drake was blown away by the opportunity to see you in action live. The voyeurism, the trash talk toward Drake while working over his buddy… holy shit that sounds so… damn… hot! That infamous grin on Drake’s face is going to be permanently tattooed there!
     On the theme of you being a big teddy bear, I just got the pics you sent of you and Maddy, and it’s clear that that girl’s got you wrapped around her little paw. Adorable, and that adoring smile on the face of notorious wrestling badboy Aryx Quinn is astonishingly sexy. Love it!
     You’ve been really generous with your time during a busy time of year. I want to thank you for being so patient with me in getting this interview lined up. Anything else you’d like to say to your legions of wrestling fans?

The one in the driver’s seat…

Aryx: Bard, you haven’t been a burden on my time at all! It’s a welcome opportunity to address the fans directly, without the censorship or ‘character’ or the respective federations kinda enforced upon it. I think it’d really blow a lot of the fans’ minds, if they saw what some of the BGE and Can-Am guys were like, ‘out of character.’ Total role reversals. Thanks again for your time too, stud, and I hope you have a great upcoming year! Give me a buzz or an email any time.

Mahalo, Aryx!

Drake Is Just Getting Started

I love it when BG East fans turn the corner and become BG East wrestlers!  For one thing, I think they’ve got a leg up in already knowing the scene.  A wrestler who arrives already knowing the story of the epic heel turn of Brad Rochelle, for example, is immediately starting off at an entirely different level in speaking to me as a fan, I think.  But even more, a new wrestler who has been a long-time fan has a greater chance of already knowing about fan blogs like this one.  Case in point: BG East rookie x-fighter, Drake Marcos.  Well before his debut release in X-Fights 34, I caught sight of sexy Drake in a behind-the-scenes pic off off Kid Karisma’s blog post about the September taping in Pembroke.  Young Drake caught my eye, sandwiched so tightly between big, burly bear Red Baron and blond, blue-eyed Canuck, Blaine Janus.  I gushed a bit here at neverland, speculating on what this handsome young hottie might bring with him as a newbie to the scene.  Little did I know that Drake not only follows BG East as an avid fan, he also reads neverland!  He reached out and thanked me for the shout out.  One thing led to another, and of course I talked BG East’s newest x-fighter into giving me an interview.  I had no idea the auspicious location he was in when we chatted, and another surprise I had, once I had Drake on the line, was how fast time flies when chatting with him.  He likes to talk about all things homoerotic and wrestling every bit as much as I do, and you and I both know that’s saying a whole, whole lot!  So here’s the transcript of my extensive chat with the cheshire cat of BG East’s rookie line up in Catalog 96.  For your viewing and reading pleasure, let me introduce Drake Marcos
Drake Marcos: 5’10”, 155 lbs, damn happy to wrestle for BG East!

Bard: So, Drake Marcos, it’s a great pleasure to meet you! On behalf of BG East fans, welcome into our wrestling fantasies! If I’m not mistaken, you’re the handsome stud sandwiched between Blaine Janus and Alan aka Red Baron in one of Kid Karisma’s pics that he posted on his blog in September. How does it feel with your debut release just out, to have joined the elite ranks of BG East wrestlers?

Drake first appeared here at neverland as that unnamed hottie between Blaine Janus and Red Baron

Drake: Pleasure to meet you as well, Bard! And you’re far too kind! I am the fresh face from KK’s blog. That shot was taken before heading out to the airport after a whirlwind week of shooting at the fabled BG East house. After reading this blog in the past and gaining some insight on what makes some other wrestling fans tick, it’s different to be in the role of “wrestler,” and no longer just a fan. It’s exhilarating to be on camera once again doing something that began as a hobby, and kind of “dirty little secret”, and it’s even more so that people are responding to my BG East debut. And with that new catalog? I am extremely proud of being a part of that lineup and mixing it up with guys I’ve admired for a bit now.

“My smile has a mind of its own…”

Bard: It’s obvious from your debut match against that brand new muscleboy version of Gabriel Ross that you’ve got plenty of insight into what makes erotic wrestling so hot! Before I ask you about getting your hands all over lovely Gabriel, though, I want to ask how you were “discovered?” The website says that you contacted them, they checked you out, and then you got the invite to show up for that whirlwind week of shooting. What was the vetting process like? How did it feel to get the word that you made the cut and were invited to join the ranks of BG East wrestlers?

Drake: The story on the site is kind of oversimplified. Basically I’ve known Kid Leopard for nearly a decade. We’ve had multiple conversations online. He’d extended the offer to bring me out for training in the past, but there’s a long backstory involving inner spiritual turmoil and near crippling body dysmorphia issues, and I demurred for a good while. Then, late last year, I jokingly applied as a model for the now-defunct HBWL and was put in contact with the owner, and next thing I know, I’d completed three shoots for them and received a message on, also now defunct, Grunts ‘N Groans from KL that said, simply, “No more excuses, it’s time.” And with a slight hesitation, I accepted. With everything official and settled, I threw my ass headlong into the gym and began to get myself into better shape for BG East, and I hope that translated to camera. I credit much of the early blossoming of my sexuality to BG East, oddly enough. So the idea that someone saw me as a good fit for the site was quite overwhelming. I was determined not to let KL down with my fitness or any fans that may have been holdovers from HBWL.

Bard: I hear the jokers that write the text for the BG East website often oversimplify things! Fascinating to hear the story and to read between the lines of what sounds like even more story. I’m thrilled that you battled whatever demons were necessary to “throw your ass headlong” into this adventure! I found your presence in the mat room for X-Fights 34… compelling, to say the least. Having such a long build up to get to that day, what was it like when the boys at BG East said, “Oh, and by the way, you’re going to wrestle your first match against the massively muscled gym bunny that ate Gabriel Ross whole?”

Drake gets thrown to the wolves

Drake: Gabriel Ross ate himself whole? [laughing] That backstory is a Lifetime movie slash one-man play slash gay coming-of-age novel just…sexier, I guess, considering where it’s brought me. Hearing that I would be making my debut against Gabriel made me ten kinds of nervous. Granted I’ve a significant height advantage, and maybe (maybe!) a few pounds, I simply did not have the muscle I needed to gain an advantage against him on the mats. That, and Gabriel chose me for his first match back to the BG East world. Here I was barely off the plane and he was already preying on the unexperienced new wrestler. Nothing like getting thrown to the wolves on your first day. But if the wolves are that sexy…
          Had you asked me before fighting Gabriel who I wanted to cut my teeth against I would have picked someone equally as new and with similar stats, but after? I can’t imagine a better way to get the ball rolling. And it definitely got me amped for the opponents I had later in the week.

Bard: I know of no other believable explanation for how lovely “little” Gabriel Ross turned into that massive musclebound basher than to believe a gorgeous gym bunny ate him. I’m sticking to it. So hold that thought about who else you faced, because you know for a fact I’m coming back to that topic! But let me linger just a bit on diabolically innocent looking Gabriel hand-picking you to give you that wad-blowing welcome he gave you in X-Fights 34. So there’s just no way to miss the grin stretching from ear to ear across your face through most of this match (excluding the moments when your face is buried between his skull-crunching thighs or twisted in such exquisite agony). Was it difficult maintaining your focus on the wrestling? You get in some enviable muscle worship in there, and I couldn’t help but think jealously of the phrase “between a rock and a hard place” when he repeatedly delighted in just slamming his bulging body down on top of you and pounding the air out of your lungs. Was the mix of pain and pleasure what you expected it to be, and would you do anything differently, knowing what you know now about Gabriel 2.0?

Gabriel gives Drake a thrill he’ll be chasing for a long time
“… so easy to get lost in worshipping him”

Drake: Well it took me a minute to let it sink in when I was told that Gabriel wanted to face me. First: flattered that such a hot stud wanted me for a match. Second: worry; you don’t challenge someone to a match unless you think you are going to be able to come out on top. So about that grin… I loved every second of that fight. The brief moments when I had Gabriel where I wanted him, and yes, even when he used his considerable experience to show me for the rookie I am. My smile has a mind of its own; I have a hard time suppressing emotion, so when I’m happy, that joker’s grin asserts itself. He used his considerable muscle and appeal to distract me, yes.  There were times I wanted to say: “Fuck wrestling…we’re just going to go at it!” but something deep inside told me that I needed to avenge that opening submission and, if possible, use my own sexual desire as a weapon to maybe turn the tide of the match in my favor. But it was so easy to get lost in worshipping him. It took the body splashes and the rib-crumbling body scissors to remind me that we were still fighting. The pain was a lot more exquisite than I was expecting, and the pleasure far outweighed even my strongest fantasies. The two of those things together though are something I’ll probably chase for a while. It was, essentially, my own lust and over eager attitude that contributed to my debut downfall at the hands of the Brit, and given the chance of a rematch, I would eagerly snatch it up and would definitely do better on a second go around. I’m more focused, and in better shape than the first time. Gabriel can rest easy with this win, but next time he hits American shores I’ll be ready.

Drake goes down under the expert attention of an angel-faced veteran

Bard: Well, if you’re going to “go down,” what a fantastic way to do it – in the expert hands of someone like Gabriel Ross! So, not to trigger your body dysmorphia, but I typically ask wrestlers I interview what part of their body they’re most proud of. Particularly as you’re so committed to forging your body into better and better shape, what are you liking about you’re body these days?

Drake’s new abs take a beating, which
he gives right back to Gabriel.

Drake: Overall I’ve been pretty shy about revealing my body for a great deal of my life. I’m talking cutting out of class early so I could change for PE alone. Before coming out I used to weigh about 50 lbs more than I do now, and it wasn’t muscle. That weight eventually proved itself to be stress weight and kind of melted off in quick fashion, and I never really did anything else to improve my body because I was terrified of the gym and judgment. So the dysmorphia would assert itself much more as an adult because, in my mind, I was still carrying that extra weight. It was about a year before finally accepting Kid Leopard’s offer that I started to get kind of serious about getting in shape. I mean, I was getting naked on camera in HBWL; no one wants to see an out of shape guy doing that [laughing]. My body wasn’t quite changing the way I wanted it to, and it wasn’t until I started doing Insanity that I realized where I had went wrong. And now that you see what my dysmorphia has done to my life you want me to focus on my body? [laughing] Kidding… Okay I’ve always been kind of fond of my own smile and eyes.  I’ve received compliments about them my whole life, but those are two features I can’t really be proud of because I have no hand in their development. But as I work my way through Insanity, I am noticing some amazing major changes.  I’m finally building some muscle and melting off some weight. I’m beginning to pay more attention to my legs as my thighs become solid, but my kind of favorite feature now is my rapidly developing abs. I didn’t really think I had them, honestly. After two weeks on this program they began introducing them selves to my mirror. I’ve been sore tempted to just stop and accept the body I have achieved so far because a) I’ve never felt so good in my life, and b) I’ve never looked this good in my life. The thing is though, I’m only halfway through the program; if the first half was this good to me, I can only imagine how good the next one is going to be. Before I embarked on this workout I told everyone that my goal was to look like a cheese grater.

Bard: Well, I’m guessing there are plenty of guys who’ll be happy to rub something up and down your body, but I don’t think it’ll involve cheese! You look damn sexy to me! You’re crazy-handsome (thus my fawning comparisons to John Fugelsang on my blog, who I think is incredibly hot). And your legs are simply gorgeous. I predict you’re going to make boys cry when you’ve snapped shut those scissors around them. Speaking of which, at this early point in your wrestling career, what do you think is the strongest aspect of your wrestling arsenal? What holds or maneuvers do you think are your most effective, and equally as important, what holds turn you on the hardest (either giving or receiving)?

“I’m rather fond of my full nelson/body scissors combo.”

Drake: You’re buttering me up and then asking me to wax arrogant on what I find to be amazing about myself…well played, Bard! [laughing] You’re far too kind with the compliments, but I’m fine with that. When it comes to wrestling I haven’t quite had a chance to show what I’m capable of just yet; rest assured that I will though. But I think that my good-guy attitude and good-natured personality are kind of disarming when I actually get someone in pain. I may not look tough, but that’s part of it all. I’m kind of a bitch when it gets down to it. Given the chance, I will fuck someone up. Yes, I kind of want to use my legs to dominate in the future, but until I have them up to caliber for that kind of action, I’m rather fond of my full nelson body scissor combo. Yes, Gabriel held up surprisingly well in my full nelson, but he’s also more experienced and caught me off guard. I’m really flexible and can take a lot of pain (especially now that I know what I’m up against in this company) and like to pay it back in spades. In terms of getting aroused during combat, those who’ve known me for a while know that I’m a sleeper and chokehold fanatic. Any time someone is wrapped up tight and you get to watch the fight drain from their eyes, the realization sinking in that it’s all over and there’s not a damn thing to be done, the muscles losing control and hanging limp as their body shuts down and accepts defeat is the hottest thing in the world to me.

Drake likes wrapping them up tight and watching the fight drain from their eyes.

Bard: I’m an expert butterer (take that however you’d like)! However, I refute your claim that I am too kind. I just call it like I see it. And I call your description of what turns you on about a sleeper/chokehold wildly hot! I cannot wait to see you put some stud out cold, and then disentangle yourself from his unconscious body with you fully aroused. That’s gold-plated platinum, right there, that is! Who else have you wrestled so far for BG East? And, knowing that Kid Leopard would crush both our sets of testicles if you were to answer that question, who on the BG East’s present roster would you most like to sleeper out cold?

Drake: [laughing] As for who I’d like to fall victim to my sleeper? I have a few in mind… Skip Vance for one, Len Harder for the shit talk on Grunts N’ Groans, and definitely Ben Monaco for the shit talk exchange on Facebook, that would be ultra satisfying. And I hate to say it, Bard, but I would love to take down your resident god: Kid Karisma. The first three I know are entirely possible; Kid K would be a major stroke of luck, however. Being honest, I know I’m not near the level of competition or skill for Kid K, but I would kill for the shot.

Drake has his sights set on patron saint of
neverland, Kid Karisma

Bard: That’s a fantastic menu! I love to hear that you boys mix it up with trash talk online. Nothing, but nothing hotter than an erotic grudge match! And I’d love to see you give Kid K a go! But I warn you, if you found Gabriel Ross’s hot bod distracting, you’d better include some hardcore tantric meditation to your training schedule, because you wouldn’t be the first challenger to get completely thrown off your game plan when he shoves that world class ass in your face and flexes for you. I definitely want to see that match happen… from the front row! Since you’ve been a BG East fan for a while, who are some of the classic wrestlers who’ve retired from the scene that you would’ve liked to have faced in their prime? And what are some highlights of what those fantasy matches would have entailed?

Drake: I know I’m possibly signing my own death certificate by throwing that kind of challenge out there at Kid K, and I know I’m not quite ready to compete at that level quite yet. That’s why I’m secretly hoping he doesn’t show up at a shoot that I’m at soon! But I do believe, that, with enough training and preparation that, if I can’t beat him, I’m definitely going to give that flawless ass a run for its money.

Josh Avery talks top notch trash

     Now, asking me to dig back quite a bit in my memory in my fantasies… Three names pop out immediately: Aryx Quinn, Nick Archer, and Josh Avery. Those three guys have crossed paths with each other. The first BG East match I ever purchased was a grudge match with Nick and Josh. Josh’s complete inhalation of Nick in the ring is almost the entire encapsulation of my erotic wrestling fantasies; unfortunately Josh was a one trick pony. His matches followed the same patterns that kind of wore thin after a while. Anyone who has seen more than one of his matches will know what I’m talking about. His trash talk in the aforementioned match is epic and so hot to me.

Aryx Quinn and Nick Archer round out
Drake’s classic fantasy list

     Aryx Quinn: that’s the only thing that really needs said is his name. When I first started checking out the stuff he was putting out, I loved his bad guy, pretty face, dominating attitude. But as time went on, I started seeing him get his ass handed to him and that became much hotter to me. The thought of taking down those two big-mouthed pretty boys and shutting them up? Taking a page from Josh’s own book and flexing over his unconscious body, each flex signifying a count all the way up to ten? Yea, and Aryx, finally seeing him with absolutely nothing to say, no witty retort, no stuttered trash talk, my foot on his heaving sweaty chest. That shit excites me.
     Finally Nick Archer: as much as I loved watching him getting methodically torn apart, I kind of want to experience defeat at his hands. Short, ripped little fucker, making me fade away helplessly in his classic, figure-4 head scissor. Shit, I’m going to have to revisit some of those matches for the holiday season!

Bard: Hot, hot, hot! I love the fact that you know the BGE catalogue so well. I’m making an educated guess that your familiarity with the classics will be a major asset in your evolving homoerotic wrestling career. Taking the best, hottest elements of the best and hottest wrestlers seems like it would automatically give you a huge leg up against other wrestlers, particularly other rookies. And personally, I think any wrestler who wears headgear into the ring (a la Josh Avery) should get tied into the ropes with said headgear stuffed down his trunks. But that may be just me. So Aryx, Nick, and Josh… I’m sensing a prettyboy-jock theme. Are there particular themes to the guys that get your heart pumping hardest? Angelic-looking sadists with gym bunny bodies and English accents can obviously top you off, but do you have other “tastes” that you tend toward in your guys?

Drake remembers well that it was Justin
Pierce who stole Josh Avery’s headgear and
put the trash talker to sleep!

Drake: I think it was Justin Pierce, actually, who beat Josh Avery’s ass, stripped him of his headgear and then wore it himself as he put Josh to rest. Not only that, but left Josh lying in a heap, Justin claiming the headgear as his own. – Pretty boy jock theme, huh? Never really thought of it that way; makes sense looking back on it. But I think when it comes down to wrestling and all, I think what really gets me going is the self-assured, confident, arrogant, mouthy guys who think they’re Superman, untouchable, invincible. That attitude is hot to me. However, the tantalizing thing about that attitude is when they get their comeuppance, are defeated and humiliated. Egos totally wounded, crushed, humbled. That is what gets me going. But in terms of picking guys to go toe-to-toe with, they can’t be behemoths. Or too tall, unless they have that attitude I crave. I prefer guys that are, at the very least, in as good of shape as me, or are built well. Gym bunny bodies are awesome, but guys who are a little more Everyman (in shape, but not an Adonis) are more my speed. You don’t really know what you’re going to get from those guys. They’re the ones that shock and dazzle. And then there are some that just suck [laughing]. But you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs right?

K-Pop hardbody, Jay Park

     However, I have a certain weakness for Asian guys. Spend 5 minutes researching K-Pop on YouTube (for example, G-Dragon, Tae Yang, Jay Park). Those are my penultimate, favorite guys – either in the ring, bed, or (prophetic) altar. I want those types of guys. As well as the Everyman, those are the ones you really don’t know what to expect from. I haven’t been let down thus far, let’s just say that. Accents are also a pretty good turn on as well. A good grasp of English is required, but the stumbling, fresh off the boat accents are hilarious and adorable.
     It’s always been kind of weird to me, though, when I think about the wrestling/dating aspect. I know there’s the legendary Christian/Skip fairy tale wrestling romance, that I’d like to find some day. But, usually, when I’m dating someone, wrestling them is the farthest thing from my mind. Weird, I know. But I am sort of a private person in a lot of aspects. The wrestling part of my life is kept separate from my personal life, and I’m kind of okay with that. Now that’s not to say that I don’t have fun and don’t wrestle off camera, I do that. But, at this point in time, I feel more at ease and organized with keeping the two as separate entities. Who knows, though? Maybe down the road the two will merge into a perfect union. Only time will tell.

Bard: Fascinating! It’s a sad thing not all of us can enjoy a “wrestling romance” as wrestling-hot as Christian and Skip. You’ll have to let us at neverland know if these two worlds collide for you in the future. Maybe Skip and Christian can set you up with some wrestling stud that they know of on the market. So, 1) who would be your top pick for a tag team partner, 2) who would you face first, and 3) which of the four of you ends up tied in the ropes and force-fed cock? Oh, wait, that last part is my answer to the question, “What would be the climax to that match,” so perhaps that should be your number 3.

Mr. Janus had better hold up his end of a
tag team with Drake, or else!

Drake: I’ve never really thought of the whole tag team aspect before.  It’s never figured into my fantasies. I’ve always been kind of focused on doing a job myself, but if I’m facing insurmountable odds and need help, I’d probably like to have Nick Archer on my side. The things I could learn from him! And if I can’t have him, then I’ll want Blaine Janus because he and I developed a connection at the last shoot, and I think we’d work well together because of that. And it would be fun to go up against Christian and Skip or Skrapper and Z-Man. Now I’d think Christian/Skip would fare pretty well against us in a way I don’t think Skrapper and Z-Man would. I’ve seen Z-Man go down far too many times to smaller guys to worry, and that’s a lot of weight for Skrapper to shoulder on his own. So I predict a nice win with Mr. Janus as my partner. And I see that win coming from a hard fight with me cranking one of them out in a sleeper/body scissors combo and Blaine with a nice headscissor on the other one, both studs fading out cold. And if we lose, best believe that Canuck, Blaine, will find himself receiving the torture you mentioned earlier! [laughing]

Bard: Well you may have never figured a tag team partner into your fantasies, but you’ve painted a most provocative picture that I’d pay to see! And I love hearing that you hit it off with Blaine. Damn, that guy puts the “erotic” in homoerotic wrestling! So a couple of years ago I adopted a rule that I saw Kid Leopard enforce on the BG East Headquarters discussion group, banning comments that trash wrestlers with catty comments about their bodies. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how ridiculously hypercritical gay guys can be as “consumers” of each other’s bodies (so to speak), and I occasionally round-bin a comment that someone tries to post on my blog about a wrestler being too skinny, fat, unattractive, etc. At the same time, I realize that I’m one of a chorus of voices promoting my particular tastes in men’s bodies, including (but not limited to) hard, hot muscle hunks with probably unhealthily low body fat and ridiculous genetic gifts. As a new face on the scene who’s upfront about your history of struggling with your body image, do you have any advice for homoerotic wrestling fans about how we talk about you all? And any advice for the countless guys reading these words who struggle with valuing themselves because of body image issues and that internal, hypercritical gay bitch inside each of us all too ready to tear ourselves down for not looking like some completely unrealistic ideal (aka, Lon Dumont… for me, at least)?

Drake: As part of the gay community, you are subject to unfair criticism. In terms of wrestlers, we’re stripping ourselves down on camera so the criticism is heightened. Fueled by a love of the similar tastes and wanting to put something out for the fans, that we ourselves would like to watch, is something we don’t take lightly. When it comes to attacking wrestlers: if you want to sit at your keyboard in the safety and comfort of your home and have the audacity to criticize what we look like, who we are and what we do (or don’t do), I’m not bothered, that’s your shtick. Until you have the guts to do what we do, you have nothing to stand on. We do what we do to make you happy. We have so many different guys to cast in our fantasy roles. If you see someone on the site that you don’t think is attractive or doesn’t fit your ideal, just keep clicking. We have the Adonises. We have the guys who are continuing to work on their bodies. And we have the Everyman. But to take to a wrestling blog and to attack someone’s image is a waste of everybody’s time.

Bard: I hear you! And I hope that I haven’t strayed into that particular shtick too often, because I think you’re absolutely right. You guys who strip down to nearly (or completely!) nothing and not only put your bodies on display but also put them to the test against another competitor (however competitive and/or amorous it gets) deserve 110% respect from those of us who just “consume.” And personally I get stoked by so many different “types” of wrestlers. I love getting totally taken by surprise, making a snap judgment that some wrestler isn’t going to be at the top of my list of fantasies, only to see him in action and find myself totally captured by his body, his intellect, his humor, his personality.

Drake: Yeah, I’m pretty much a fan of the old adage “Everyone is beautiful.” Because it’s true. Concepts of beauty differ greatly across racial and generational lines. Everyone needs to get to a point where they love themselves for who they currently are and what they look like.

Not everyone should look like Stretch Armstrong (who turned me gay)

Bard: So true! I watch British television a lot, and I’m often struck when they have a character who’s supposed to be some gym bunny meat head (often also supposed to be an American, interestingly) who would probably be laughed off the set as nothing special for anything being filmed in Hollywood. Presenting anything other than a highly competitive, zero-body fat, platonically proportioned bodybuilder seems too often to bring out the cattiness in some gay fans. There are a lot of different standards for judging beauty, and insisting that everyone look like a plasticine sculpture of a Stretch Armstrong doll is just ridiculous.

Drake: Since we’re talking about body image everyone needs to accept the reality of how you currently look and decide if there’s something you want to change. There are literally millions of avenues to getting into the shape you want. The hardest part of all this is committing to doing it though. It takes 2 weeks to develop a habit. Give yourself at least 14 days of doing something everyday, and then you’ll continue to do it. And the worst thing you can do going into physical fitness is wanting to have the body of someone else. No one has identical bodies. Every body is built differently and with different potentials. What you need to do is go into it wanting to be in the best shape possible: that includes a healthy diet, a good workout program, and an attitude that it is possible.

Bard: I think that sounds like an awesome attitude and approach, Drake! I think it’s also a nice corrective to the tendency to latch onto one “ideal” body and hold ourselves, and our homoerotic wrestling objects of lust, up to that one image. Your comments send me self-reflecting on this blog, and the ways that I may intentionally or inadvertently promote unrealistic body images for wrestlers and readers. Regularly picking my favorites probably says a lot about the range (or lack thereof) of what I think of as ideal. You’ve given me a lot of food for thought!

Like Zac Efron, but even better

Drake: As I apply this to myself, even before my actual attempt at getting in shape my ideal was Zac Efron. Now that I’m actually working out and seeing results I would say I have the potential to look even better! But I wouldn’t necessarily say you’re guilty of promoting unrealistic ideals. I mean, these guys exist, so it’s obviously realistic, but for them. But different bodies, different potentials. People don’t need to kill themselves to look like someone else, because what’s the fun in that? Don’t you want to stand out from the crowd? I worship at the altar of individuality often. I celebrate people who are completely their own person and don’t compromise to fit other people’s perceptions. Whenever I witness someone doing something completely out of the norm I find myself wanting to be a part of it. That’s how it’s been my whole life, always something new, off the wall. And ultimately I think it’s that attitude that’s brought me here. BG East is not filled with a bunch of skinny boys having sex. It’s filled with all body types struggling against each other to achieve physical dominance and superiority. It’s primal. It’s sensual. It’s hot as hell!

Bard: Hell, yes! Smokin’ hot wrestlers come in all sorts of packages! I’ll take that “necessarily” to heart, and I sincerely appreciate your words of caution about worshipping too much at the altar of cookie-cutter fitness model physiques. I think this conversation is good for me as I think about how I write about wrestlers and how I think about my own fitness goals. You rock.

Drake: Well, it’s your blog, your little corner of the web to say what you think unfettered by other people’s thoughts. If you feel like saying someone has the penultimate bod, I think you should be allowed to express that. One more thing I wanna say about fitness before we move away from that is: I am not a fitness guru, nor am I a physical trainer. I’m far from that. I’m just a guy who came late for the party and is stuck cleaning up the mess. I can only speak from my personal, frighteningly sparse, experience. So with that forewarning, another key to getting yourself on track is friends and accountability. I lost track of how many people have noticed my improvements, even ones that I didn’t see with my mirrored “progress checks” (which occur every few hours.) That, especially, serves to buoy and foster confidence that what you’re doing is working: other people’s validation. You’re your own worst critic, but once you’ve got others on board supporting you, those self-defeating voices eventually begin to fade.

Bard: Again, that sounds like excellent advice! So… Zac Efron? Okay. I’ll be fine with you having his body (or better). But as for who you look like, when I saw Kid K’s pic of you from the September shoot at BG East, I mentioned on my blog that you sort of had a John Fugelsang look about you. Tell me that you get that all the time, that you look like John Fugelsang. And holy shit, John Fugelsang as an X-fighter homoerotic wrestler… holy… shit! What an idea!!!

Separated at birth?

Drake: [laughing] I didn’t even know what a “John Fugelsang” is, but a quick search online shows he’s an actor with some left-leaning comedic leanings, which I can definitely get into. But yeah, I kinda see it.  As for others I’ve asked: no one knows who he is either. So I’m afraid you’re kind of alone in that. I have, however, been compared to other celebrities: Ricky Ullman (Disney Channel’s “Phil of the Future”), Jim Parsons (Sheldon of “Big Bang Theory), Tony Dow (Wally of “Leave It To Beaver – 50s sitcom), and Sean Hayes (Jack from NBC’s “Will and Grace”). But since Kid Leopard can work magic maybe we can get that matchup between me and Fugelsang put together. A loosely connected sequel to “The Time Traveler’s Wife,” but this would be “The Time Traveler’s Battle,” where he travels back in time to wrestle his younger self [laughing].

Wally Cleaver as erotic wrestler!

Bard: I’m okay with being fettered… if it’s consensual. And I’m okay if I’m the only guy in the world who suddenly found America’s Funniest Videos wildly erotic during the brief period it was co-hosted by John Fugelsang. Seriously, I… got… off to AFV for him. Sharing too much? Suffice it to say I intended the Fugelsang comparison as a major compliment. And you X-fighting John Fugelsang would surely rip a hole in the space-time continuum with the over the top explosive eroticism. I had to look up Ricky Ullman, which suddenly makes me feel old. However I think you’re several times hotter than Jim Parsons or Sean Hayes, though if I saw you in black and white, I think I’d agree with the Tony Dow comparisons. I won’t bother going into detail about what Leave It to Beaver reruns did for me (a lot).

Drake: I had a nagging suspicion that I had seen him in something before but couldn’t put my finger on it, but you nailed it! I have seen Fugelsang around before, just didn’t know his name! Since I’m apparently his doppelgänger, it’d be in poor taste for me to say I find him attractive, right? This all being said, I really am going to develop an ego with all the compliments you’ve been feeding me… Stop…please…(keep ‘em coming)! [laughing]

Bard: Well I’m fantasizing about you in an X-fight with Fugelsang, so if you find him attractive, all the better on my end. So we’ve been at this interview for a while, and I think I could keep chatting for hours longer with you, but I suspect you have a life to get on with. You’ve given neverland readers, and me in particular, a ton of great stuff to ponder and look forward to. Anything else you’d like to say by way of introduction to BG East fans sitting up and taking note of Drake Marcos’ arrival on the scene?

Drake: I’ve had a blast chatting with you about all of this and am so sad it’s ending! This has been way too fun! As we talk, I’m sitting in an airport in Atlanta waiting for my flight to Ft. Lauderdale where I will be getting up to some more BG East hijinks, so definitely want to say you can expect more from yours truly, Drake Marcos. Maybe some of my comments here can prick the ears of future challengers and we can get the wheels rolling on those. I plan on either starting blogging or tweeting soon (I’ll keep you informed) to capture all of the BG East goodness, because I’d like to be at this for a little bit. I derive great pleasure in giving people what they want to see and hear so stick with me, because Drake is just getting started.

Having had a taste of BG East wrestling,
Drake is definitely heading back for more!

Bard: Fantastic to hear that you’re on your way to your next taping with the BG East boys! I hope it’s wildly raunchy and incredibly hot! And I love the news that you’re contemplating documenting your journey in homoerotic wrestling in blog or tweet format. Let me know the moment you start so we can get folks tuning into Drake Marcos’ next big adventure! And finally, take some behind the scenes photos at the Florida compound. I love, love, love the behind the scenes photos. Fly safe and play hard, Drake!

Drake: I will certainly do that, Bard. It was a pleasure chatting with you and I look forward to doing it again soon!

…So Let’s Keep Rocking and Rolling

Not long after my recent post describing exactly what Blaine Janus and Mason Brooks did to me in their intensely sexy Gazebo Grapplers 14 throw down, I found this snapshot in my inbox along with this adorable note:
“Just wanted to say thanks for the nice write-up
 and I’m glad you enjoyed watching the match
as much as I enjoyed filming it! – Mason”
After licking my computer screen a few times, I quickly replied, and using my famous powers of persuasion (which admittedly involve a whole lot of sincere flattery), I got Mason to agree to chat with me a bit about being one of the new kids on the BG East block.  In some ways, the interview that follows picks up right where my interview with Ben Monaco left off yesterday.  Young Mason had me rolling on the floor in laughter one minute and then needing to rearrange my crotch the next minute with his razor sharp wit and extremely sexy insights into how he approaches launching an on-camera homoerotic wrestling career.  So let me be the first to introduce you to this sultry, sexy, suprisingly sinister Southern boy who, I predict, very well could take BG East by storm.
Bard: Fantastic to hear from you, Mason! And damn, boy, really, really thanks for the photo! If you enjoyed filming that match even half as much as I enjoyed watching it, I hope you had a few days to rehydrate because you and Blaine certainly wore me out. Can I share your pic on the blog? And can I start peppering you with questions “on the record?”

Mason Brooks: 5’9″, 150 lbs.

Mason: [Laughing] Please, feel free to share. I am getting in touch with my inner exhibitionist. And I’d be happy to answer your questions.

Bard: You’ve definitely got to let that inner exhibitionist out. A lot! Consider us on the record, and talk to me about your nipples (which is something I’ve never said in an interview before!). Blaine cannot keep his hands off of them. Ben Monaco privately commented to me that your nipples are “to die for.” Ben’s words were, “I know it. He knows it. That’s where he’s going to get his fans.” And I have to tell you, you’ve got seriously hot nips! What sort of “gay wrestling catnip” do you use on them to turn us all on like that!?

Mason: Well, gee, this is a first for me as well. It’s funny, aside from the piercing, which obviously gets a fair amount of attention, I’ve never thought of my nipples as a standout attribute of mine. I mean, maybe my hair, my smile, my eyes–the list goes on, as you might imagine. I guess all those dips and push-ups while watching Honey Boo Boo this summer paid off. Seriously, though, if everyone is as taken with them as Mr. Monaco, I think I’m set. He really couldn’t help himself all weekend. Not that I’m complaining, of course. If a little nipple-tweaking was my BG East initiation, I guess I got off easy. It is strange, though, that they seem to have such an effect on Canadians. It was chilly that weekend, and the cold air does seem to perk those boys up. Sort of like my nips.  Not sure about the gay wrestling catnip (although that sounds like something I need in my stocking this Christmas). Actually, just a little neosporin now and then to keep the piercing in working order, especially if someone’s had his, umm, hands all over it.

Blaine had his… hands… all over Mason’s nips.

Bard: There’s just so much material there in your answer that I’m almost speechless. Almost. So yes, let me just confirm that I’m in a growing line of guys who clearly find your nipples extremely alluring. Next, please let me also confirm that your hair, smile, and eyes are also very, very attractive, but I’ll be damned if there’s a BG East fan who’ll rip his eyes away from your hot pecs to say much more about your eyes. And finally, I’m profoundly disturbed to recognize within myself that the image of you doing dips and push-ups while watching Honey Boo Boo just completely gave me wood. My therapist and I are going to have a lot to talk about next week…. But dragging myself back on topic… as I mentioned in my review of your match with Blaine, you certainly caught me off guard. I was totally expecting to see an earnest, babyface-in-wrestling-singlet bound to be another naive rook about to be awakened to the dark truth of homoerotic wrestling at the hands of a master. Then like a cruise missile you almost instantly locked Blaine down, completely immobilized him, and went straight for a crotch claw. There’s no way in hell you’ll convince me that that was your first dance, Mason! That was an accomplished hand that so confidently, simultaneously crushed Blaine’s testicles and worked him into a drooling lather. Where have you wrestled before, and how much will I pay to see your rip-n-strip archives?

Mason sees what’s he wants and goes for it.

Mason: Okay, I must confess, this was not my first dance. I’ve done my fair share of wrestling, in and out of a singlet, and learned the ropes, as they say. None on video, unfortunately. As far as I know….  But maybe, just maybe, I enjoy it when people see my cute, innocent face and underestimate me. I think it gives me an advantage when I surprise them with my skills.  More than that, though, I’m the kind of guy who sees what he wants and goes for it. You saw him, parading his freckled cheeks around in that little see-through number.  how could I not pounce on that? Yeah, if anyone thought I was a pushover, they were in for a rude awakening.

Bard: You, my new friend, are one seriously devious little devil! I’d love to get Blaine’s take on this, but my impression is just that: he completely underestimated you. I strongly suspect that your (now) obviously misleading shy grin and a strong resemblance to Edward Norton could throw plenty of opponents off stride right around the time that you rip them apart at the crotch and claw their balls with abandon. In light of the horrific tragedy that your earlier wrestling in/out of a singlet was not captured on video, I hope BG East signed you up for many more matches to come. Having toyed, dangerously, with fluorescent blue-eyed, freckle faced, horny-toad Blaine, have you seen anything else at BG East that you hope to “go for” in the future?

“Gabriel Ross is lucky I had a plane to catch…”

Mason: You know, I’ll gladly take on (and take down) whomever they want to throw at me. Christian, Skip, Len, Lorenzo–I think all those boys need to get a taste, and I’m ready to give it to ’em, any time. The big muscleboys–gosh, I can never keep all their names straight–they don’t scare me either. And Gabriel Ross is lucky I had a plane to catch, or he would have been next on my list. I don’t care how much he bulked up, that little wanker would have ended up with a faceful of my balls. Though I’m not sure how mean I could be to him–that smile is pretty killer. As it happens, all I got to do was hug him goodbye. And cop a feel, of course.

Bard: I really, really like the sound of hotties like Lorenzo Lowe getting “thrown” at you. It makes me picture you in the ring with boys flying off the ropes, and I hope we see you in the ring soon. And as for muscleboys, I suspect that with the performance you posted against Blaine and the smack talk you’re laying down here, there could be some big muscleboys eager to get their hands on your pecs and/or your balls in their face. Personally, I’d like to take up a collection to buy Gabriel a ticket back just to see how “that little wanker” would fare in the matroom against you. It would be like a battle of the angelic babyface badboys, which sounds like a fantastic theme for a collection of matches! So if you were ever to find yourself sleepered out cold at the end of another sweaty, raunchy barnburner like you suffered at the hands of Blaine Janus, who would you prefer to wake up with his tongue shoved down your throat: Lorenzo Lowe, Ben Monaco, or Kid Karisma? In other words, twink, hunk, or muscleboy?

“Lorenzo sounds mighty nice.”

Mason: Hmmm, twink, hunk or muscleboy.  Is that like boff, marry, kill? It all depends on my mood, I suppose. (Sometimes you feel like a nut, and all that, right?) I wouldn’t kick any of those boys out of the ring for eating crackers, but right now I must be in a twink mood, because Lorenzo sounds mighty nice. Of course, he’d be the one getting sleepered out and waking up to me on top of him…

Lorenzo’s tongue ALSO seems irresistibly drawn toward Mason’s pecs (photo courtesy of Ben Monaco).

Bard: Well I saw a certain behind the scenes shot from Ben where you were sitting next to Lorenzo sans any pants, and you were sporting an awfully pleased grin on your face. I’m now officially advocating to see that grin on your face in a match with Lorenzo as he groggily rouses from your sleeper finisher to find your lips descending over his. Speaking of boff, marry, kill: Justin Bieber, Justin Theroux, and Justin Timberlake?

Boff. Marry. Kill.

Mason: Oh fun! Okay, first of all, my well-documented affection for Canadian boys notwithstanding, I would kill Justin Bieber, no question. Although I suspect that in a couple years, once the screaming girls have moved on and he’s still spindly and pale and the wrong side of 25, some combination of drugs and alcohol will do the job for me. Justin Timberlake’s never done that much for me, personally, but I guess I’d give him a whirl in bed. Don’t think I could marry him, though. His fashion sense irks me too much. (Ooh, you’re wearing a tweed vest and a fedora? Neato.) So that leaves Justin Theroux to marry, which sounds about right. I mean, if he’s good enough for the co-star of “Leprechaun,” he’s good enough for me. Nah, I’m kidding, he’s hot, I think we’d hit it off. As long as he’s into wrestling, that is. He seems like an interesting guy, but very serious. Eventually I’d get tired of exploring our feelings and I’d need to give those abs a working over. Wouldn’t that make a great tabloid headline? “Jen’s Heartbreak: Justin Caught with Wrestling Boy-toy.” Oh well, a boy-toy can dream….

Another wicked smart wrestling hunk:
Lon Dumont

Bard: I couldn’t agree with you more on all counts. And I can start that Justin Theroux rumor and see where it leads… never know. Damn, he’s hot. So you’ve got good hair, gorgeous pecs, magical nipples, AND insanely insightful taste in men? Damn, you’re going far! Did you have the opportunity to meet a long-standing favorite infatuation of mine when you were in Pembroke: Lon Dumont? I think you two would hit it off. You both seem particularly quick-witted and self-reflective. And he’s a god in the wrestling ring, so you can’t go wrong chumming up to Lon! Wrestling + smarts = Bard-is-infatuated. What haven’t you done yet in homoerotic wrestling that you’re itching to try out? Any particular moves, venues, gear, etc?

Mason: I did meet Lon Dumont, but just briefly. I think he was pretty busy in the ring, and I may have been headed to wash Blaine out of my hair (figuratively speaking, of course). Sounds like I should get to know him, though. I could always use a few pointers in the ring to add to my skills on the mat. What am I itching to try? You know, I’m always open to new things, especially if they make my butt look good. So, I dunno…rip and strip, oil, mud, jello? See, now I’m getting hungry. Oh, and I probably shouldn’t say too much, but it’s possible that in my next match we’ll get a little…wet?

Mail your boxes of Jello c/o Mason Brooks to:
BG East, PO Box 172, Pembroke, MA 02359

Bard: I hope you had help in the shower! Yeah, I think you and Lon could make for a very dangerous combination. If you two got your heads together, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that there’s been a major coup at BG East with you two running the show. And as for what we should expect next from you, I LOVE the sound of “wet!” And I’m even crazier for the words “oil, mud, and jello.” How incredibly old school sexy of you! I know a whole lot of wrestling fans who would blow a gasket for a rip-n-strip jello wrestling match, or a classic oil wrestling throw down. I think the time has come for those vintage genres to come back in vogue as retro-chic, and I love that you’re ready to be at the front of that line. But really, is there anything that doesn’t make your butt look good? So I think you know that I’ve also recently interviewed Ben Monaco, and Ben referred to you as “quiet and polite” to the point of being eligible to be an honorary Canadian. Has he ever actually met you?! I mean, sure, maybe you’re a little more reserved in person that you have been during this interview, but seriously… honorary Canadian!? Are you stringing him along, playing coy, in order to blow him away on the mats? Is this some sinister master plan building off of that dimple in your cheek and twinkle in your eye to lull another potential opponent into underestimating you?

Has Ben even met Mason!?

Mason: Honorary Canadian, huh? That would be quite an honor. I like hockey, beer, and flannel, and I know “O Canada” in English and French–still working on Inuktitut–so I think I’m halfway there already. I just hope the initiation ceremony involves Tyler Seguin shirtless and lots of maple syrup. As for quiet and polite, I can see how people assume that when they first meet me. I like to size up a room first, see who I’m dealing with. And hey, if people assume I’m innocent and harmless, that’s their problem. Plus I’m from the south, so yeah, probably I do have some manners deep down inside, along with a knack for making killer fried chicken. But I’m not so polite on the mat, as Mr. Monaco ought to know by now.

Bard: I’m adding “maple syrup” to the list of media within which you should wrestle. And it sounds like you’re more than halfway to Canuck-hood, eh? What part of the South are you from, and what percentage of the time that you wrestled with Ben did he spend sucking on your nipples?

Just like wrestling the pig farmer’s son!

Mason: I’m from a rural part of Virginia, where I’m pretty sure some folks are still fighting the Civil War. Very pretty country, but not much to do, unless you wanna wrestle a pig. On the other hand, sometimes you get into the Wild Turkey and end up wreslin’ the pig farmer’s son behind the barn. And that ain’t so bad. What else? Oh, right, nipples. Always with the nipples. As I recall, there was more pinching and tweaking going on than sucking, but it’s all a blur. A thoroughly enjoyable blur. Perhaps Mr. Monaco has a more vivid recollection, or maybe he was just daydreaming about the things he’d like to do with my sweaty chest.

Bard: You make pig farmer wrestling sound hotter than I’d ever have guessed! Ben was entirely mum about any activities you may have gotten up to. The nipple sucking was just my wishful thinking, though perhaps I’ve seeded the ground for future opponents you might face. I can hope. Well, Mr. Brooks, I’m convinced that we will be seeing a lot more of you in the future, based on your debut in Gazebo Grapplers 14 and your readiness to face all comers and all viscous substances. I predict that you’re going to have a big fan club, starting with nipple-obsessed Canadians and jello wrestling fans, but quickly branching out from there. Is there anything else you’d like to say to BG East fans who are about to discover that they’re Mason Brooks fanatics?

Quiet, polite, Southern boys:
probably nastier than you think.

Mason: Yeah, in the immortal words of Dirk Diggler, I’ll keep trying if you keep trying so let’s keep rocking and rolling. (Sweet jeebus, I loved that movie.) Seriously, though, I just hope the fans out there enjoy watching my matches as much as I enjoy making them, ’cause the whole experience was a blast, and I can’t wait to do it again. Oh, and watch out for quiet, polite, Southern boys–they’re probably nastier than you think.

Bard: True story: Boogie Nights is one of Lon Dumont’s favorite flicks. I kid you not. I’ve already seen quite a bit of chatter that fans are lining up for more of Mason Brooks, so we’re going to do our part. And personally, I’m hoping that there are plenty of hunks at BG East who will decidedly not take your advice about watching out for polite, quiet Southern boys, because I can’t wait to see the look of shock on their faces when you let loose. This was a true pleasure getting to chat with you! Thanks for your time, and I hope we can do this again. I’m strongly convinced that you could go very, very far in this business, and I’m not just saying that because of your entrancing nipples.

Mason: The pleasure was mine, and thank you so much for the kind words. The nipples and I are flattered.

Mason Brooks and his nipples.