As anticipated, BG East has posted their poll for the Bestie awards, recognizing the fan favorites for their wrestlers and matches featured in 2015. Drake and I did our pre-scout report last week, but now that we have the actual nominees in hand, I wanted to do a quick comparison in the interest of aiding voters in making the best choices. I’ll just stick to the individual categories because you only have until midnight this Friday to submit your votes. First up, lets take a look at the faces of the nominees for Top Babyface.
Next up, let’s compare the awesome abs nominated for Best Abs of 2015.
I’m not the first person to note that a prominent 2-time champion of the Best Abs Bestie was not nominated this year, despite appearing on the mats in 2015 for BG East. I don’t know if the academy intentionally snubbed Eli Black, or if there was a calculated judgment that Eli’s killer abs were truly out distanced by the 6 lovely, lean hunks above. In any case, just a look at the abs that are not in contention this year…
I’ll take a look at the field for Best Body and Best Bulge tomorrow…
The BG East Besties have been announced! I’m about 20 times more excited for this than I am the Oscars. Though if a rip ‘n’ strip tuxedo wrestling match breaks out between Bradley Cooper and Ethan Hawke, I may change my mind. I made my ballot abundantly clear a couple of weeks ago, so let’s look at who the majority of voters picked for the Best at BG East in 2015.
Best Babyface for a 3rd year in a row goes to Jake Jenkins. Little surprise, and there’s nothing to argue with, because JJ is such a sexy, stunning babyface beauty. My vote went into Denny Cartier’s column, but all hail the undefeated best babyface winner, JJ!
In the absence of two time winner Jonny Firestorm, this year’s Best Heel award goes to Kid Karisma. Is it bittersweet for KK that he didn’t get to actually defeat Jonny for the title this year? I’ll never quibble with KK getting lauded, though I am curious that the majority that voted for him didn’t award any of his matches honors this year. My pick, Guido Genatto, scored two matches in the top awards. Of course, no one says any of us are required to maintain any internal consistency in our favorites.
Ripping the title of Best Abs away from 2-time winner Eli Black was Z-Man this year. What a phenomenal field all around, though my adoration will always be for Lon Dumont’s midsection. I will, however, stare for days on end at every inch of Z-Man and marvel at his perpetually phenomenal fitness.
What has to be considered an upset is oh-so-pretty Pete Sharp crowding out 2-time winner Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) for Best Bulge this year. Pete was my pick, but still, I have to think of this as an upset for the man who’s made his massive bulge such a feature of every match. Perhaps the very fact that Pete is so understated about the massive mountain in his pouch is what sells him hardest as Best Bulge of 2015.
Best Butt of 2015 sees the title change hands from 2-time winner Kid Karisma to always butt-beautiful Cameron Matthews. What an incredibly accomplished, top shelf field to choose from, and I have to think Cameron and Kid are always going to be battling back and forth for fan favorite butt. I think this really requires a butt-naked wrestling match between the two of them to help us make the call for 2015.
Best Body this year broke for Austin Cooper. Z-Man has got to be seething to lose his title from last year! Personally, I think this all merely proves that Kid Karisma (my pick) is the most underrated physique in homoerotic wrestling. However I have no trouble at all seeing what the majority of voters saw when the tapped goldenboy Austin for the honors.
Jobber of the Year goes to last year’s Debut of the Year, Kip Sorell. Rio Garza wasn’t even under consideration to defend the title after owning it the past 2 years. It was a seriously tight competition, and Kip was on the receiving end of some of the hottest beatdowns of 2014, without a doubt (even though NONE of them make an appearance in the best match awards!). I still say Drake Marcos is my top jobber pick, mostly because it irritates him so much to be called jobber, which I think is a supremely awesome quality in a jobber.
Debut of the Year saw the rest of you agreeing with me that Ty Alexander burned up the scene his rookie year. Clearly, one can’t “defend” his best debut title, but just for context, Ty joins the likes of Eli Black (Class of 2012) and Kip Sorell (Class of 2013). I expect to see some amazing things from the sophomore year of adorable Ty.
Don’t forget that all of the nominated matches this year are on sale for 25% off through the end of the month. I’ll take a look at the best match winners next…
Mere hours are left for you to register your votes for the 2014 BG East Besties. The last 4 categories I have to reflect on are what I think of as the most dramatic and titillating. Like saving “best picture” and “best actor in a leading role,” I’ve held off on reflecting on these because these mean most to me in any ways. First up, let’s look at those who sold the most compelling characters this year, beginning with nominees for Top Heel.
Shockingly, the reigning Top Heel the past two years running, Jonny Firestorm, was absent from this year’s slate. Was Jonny’s work somehow less dominant, less dastardly, less sadistic? With him suspiciously out of the way, however, someone is definitely taking the crown for the first time. I’m leaning toward Guido because of both quantity and quality of his matches. His trash talk alone is terrifyingly hot, but his muscle domination and indy pro heel superiority are absolutely soul crushing. I’m guessing fans will break his way or possibly Morgan’s. I think Cage Thunder is a long shot this year solely because he didn’t put up more evidence of his heel mastery in 2014, but he very well could be the sentimental favorite of long-time fans.
Top Jobber is crazy competitive this year. I would argue a jobber is not someone who just gets squashed, but someone who sells that he whole heartedly believes he has a fighting chance, even mounts some offense and keeps the suspense building, but sooner or later, inevitably goes down in crushing defeat. A jobber isn’t a pushover. He’s not a joke. He inhabits a full story arc, even if the outcome is as certain as the sunrise. You and I know a jobber is doomed from the start, but he doesn’t. Let’s take a look at the contenders for this nuanced category.
Tough call, with a ton of blurry lines depending on exactly what you think and feel about jobbers in general. Two-time winner Rio Garza was not nominated this year, leaving the field open for a first-timer to be guaranteed the crown. With the fond memory of him out cold, stripped naked, and with his trunks stuffed down his throat in the middle of the ring after coming face to face with a certain blogger, though, I have to punch Drake Marcos’ ticket (once again) for Top Jobber. I think his biggest competition for this one is Ty, with the difference being, in my mind, mainly the certainty that Ty would love to be Top Jobber, while Drake would hate it. Paradoxically, I think that gives Drake the edge here. Long shot I think is JJ, mostly just because some people will vote for him regardless what the category is. He’s so complex, though, and you have to partition out his mat work to fully justify him as Top Jobber.
Hottest Liplock may not be a category others think of as the top tier choice to make, but I fucking LOVE this category. Like “Best Submissions in One Match,” the context isn’t entirely clear. A particular liplock? Perhaps not, since the nominees are just matches. I love wrestling liplocks, though, so however you slice it, I’m so into this category.
So many fantastic liplock moments that speak to the very heart of what moves me most about homoerotic wrestling! If I could vote for all of the nominees, I would, because they all rocked me dizzyingly hard. Just one, though? Fuck. It’s razor close between Babyface Brawl X and Gear Wars 4. My vote finally goes to the homoerotic jobber wonder twins, Drake & Ty, whose Babyface Brawl X was incredibly innovative and pushed the envelope in all the right directions. I have no idea what the majority will vote for in this category. I won’t be surprised for whoever wins, though I’m pulling for the jobber wonder twins.
Now for Best Overall Match of 2014…
I’m fascinated that all three ring match entries are squashes. That, along with Guido’s double entry, really fucks with my confidence in predicting a frontrunner. My vote is going to Mason and Drake because of several factors, including Mason’s gorgeous naked ass, Drake’s horrified whimpers, bitter trash talk, a gallon of sweat, and the ball rolling that would lead to me snapping Drake’s photo flat on his back under my foot about 9 months later. Extremely close 2nd place for me is Trey and Skrapper. Holy fuck that’s one over-the-top hot, hard fought, insanely sexy match. My barely better than a random guess for the majority on this one is Cameron and LJL, mostly because of Cam’s fan following. I think long odds are on Guido & Kirk.
If you haven’t voted yet, this is your Bard approved final ballot to point your way to where my tastes take me:
There’s been some confusion about the BG East Best of 2014 poll. For the record, it is still open, and will remain so until midnight tomorrow night, February 8. You can find the poll through the homepage by clicking on the “All 2014 Releases” button and then clicking the poll banner at the top of the page, or simply click here to go to the poll directly.
Let’s take a look at a few more categories. What defines a babyface is fiercely debated among some wrestling fans. When I’m thinking of babyfaces (which is often), I’m picturing a wrestler who is eye-catchingly beautiful, earnest, optimistic, trusting in the rules of wrestling and human decency to make the wrestling ring an honest to god contest of strength and technical skill. A babyface is stoked to be cheered and admired. He expresses contempt for vile evil doers who take short cuts and disregard rules and good sportsmanship. As I look at the field of BG East Bestie nominees for Top Babyface of 2014, that’s the standard I’m holding up to each of this sizzling hot leading men. Let’s take a look at who’s in the running.
For me, this category comes down to the tried and true, solidly developed babyface characters of Jake Jenkins and Denny Cartier. I think JJ’s momentum and unblinkingly fanatic fan base makes him the top contender for the popular vote, but my personal vote is finally leaning Denny’s way. JJ has an edge to him in some matches, a cocky, smirking, I’ll-go-as-low-down-as-you-dare-me-to attitude, whereas Denny just clenches that Clark Kent jaw and dishes out due respect almost every time. And in 2014 he had the distinction of taking that upright intensity to introduce Lon Dumont to mat wrestling, including finally getting bulldozed by the notorious pro heel. The dark horse who could defy the odds this year I think may be Kip Sorrel. I’m always a little surprised not to hear more buzz about the living Ken doll, so I’m wondering if there’s a silent majority out there just waiting to make Kip upend JJ.
Now let’s turn our attention to the category of Best Squash. This is a category that instantly turns off some fans who just don’t enjoy one-sided crushings. I, however, am not that type of fan. I fucking love gasping, dangerous maulings when both the pitcher and catcher sell it with enthusiasm. I think we have some notable contenders and, perhaps, some surprising absences in this year’s slate.
Two matches from Demo 17, two from Demo 18, and JJ and Guido showing up in multiple contenders? Very complex field to try to handicap. Personally, I’m going with the one and only non-Demo entry, because Dr. Cooper and Leo Tomasi owned me hardest and truly surprised me when I noticed how hot I found it to see Leo bleed. Dr. Cooper is an incredible heel, perhaps made more so by the distance he’s traveled since his heel turn. Honestly, I’m not sure at all how to predict where the majority may lean in this one with all of the overlaps, so I’m going out on a limb and saying I think the majority (and the hardcore Coop fans) will swing the vote the same way I’m going, with Jobberpaloozer 13. I’m also demonstrating the size of my balls by saying I think Jonny v Nicholas is a serious underdog this year. I have to also note that all of these Best Squash contenders are ring matches from just 3 products. What happened to Passion & Punishment 1, with Mason Brooks spanking Drake Marcos like the naughty boy his is, which may have been the most satisfying squash of the year in my book?
Now for the newest category in the BG East Besties, the vote for “Best Submissions in One Match.” I struggled with the variable construct of this category. It’s not “most submissions,” though I suppose some could vote with that interpretation. It’s not the best “submission” in a match, because the nominees aren’t specific submissions, but the matches themselves. It’s also hard to miss the fact that the nominees for Best Squash line up very closely with nominees for “Best Submissions in One Match,” making me think the nominating committee also lacked a little clarity in the scope and range of this debut category.
So I’m choosing to dole out my vote for this category based on particular submissions (to be specific, the one’s I’ve highlighted above). If it were “most innovative submissions,” I’d easily vote for Jonny & Nicholas. If it were most terrifying submissions, I’d probably take Guido and Kirk. I’m picking the best submission as in the one that I found sexiest, the one that recurred in my early morning wet dreams, the one that I replayed in real life and in my fantasies most, which was, for me, Trey Dixon’s poolside face-to-crotch orgasmic headscissors. Since the category itself seems spongy to me, predicting a winner is tough, but I’m thinking Cameron Matthews and LJL’s fans will swing this their way. I think the longest shot is Guido and Kirk, both because Guido fans will be split and because Kirk is such a new commodity.
So the Bard-approved ballot as it stands now looks like this:
The polls close Sunday at midnight (EST, I’m guessing), so don’t contemplate your votes for the Best of BG East in 2014 too long. If you haven’t submitted your votes yet, consider this your voter’s guide with only a tad bit of electioneering to keep it saucy. Today, let’s take a look at a couple more categories. First up, best ring match.
I’ve got to punch my hanging chad for Tag Team Torture 17, because 4 magnificent specimens of wrestling meat beat 2 about 99 out of 100 times for me (it’s all about math). 3 debuts and every fucking one of them is absolutely on point and golden? That’s a work of art, and add Lon Dumont’s snarls and flexes, and I’m done for. I suspect I may out of the mainstream, and if so, I’m expecting to see Z-Man/Sorell or Guido/JJ own the plurality. The dark horse odds defier I think has to be Jobe/Peter. Jobe’s crotch has its own clamoring fan base, though…
Next for today, I want to muse a bit on one of my favorite categories, Best Debut. I love fresh blood, the suspense of new faces, who will they be, what will they sound like, can they fucking wrestle? There were outstanding newbies hitting the scene this year, so let’s take a look at the nominees.
Another tough, tough category. I’m partial to the nominees that demonstrate some depth, so although a couple of these studs could easily be major players after a couple more matches, I lean squarely toward punching my ticket for either Ty or Richie. I’d be happy to settle the close call with a rip ‘n’ strip match between the two of them to determine the winner of my vote, but short of that, I’ve got to say Ty Alexander has done more in his debut year with BG East than almost anyone I can remember. You’ve got to go back to Eli Black to really see quite the same momentum so soon. I’m sorry not to see another slightly more experienced newbie like Kayden Keller on the ticket, and I’m suspicious as to whether Cal’s dazzling beauty (if not stellar wrestling) may attract the masses. Even though he’s my number 2, I think Richie is the dark horse long shot bet here to consider. Not a ton of buzz, but a solid wrestler, luscious body, and that rare combo of adolescent face on a hot, hard, mature man’s body.
Early on in his tenure with BG East, Z-Man was pretty much a cheap buffet. Anyone with a hankering to chew on him a while was stepping up, picking him apart, and serving him cold. He’s come a long way since then, and an even longer way from his even earlier start at Thunder’s Arena. Victory is far from assured when facing down Z-Man these days. There’s a welcome suspense, as he pushes opponents to their limits and firmly stakes out his ground as much more than a pretty face. One thing that hasn’t changed one iota is that ridiculously sexy body of his. There’s clearly a portrait of him aging in an attic somewhere, because Z-Man is supernaturally and unwaveringly perfected across his entire storied career. It’s little wonder that BG East fans gave credit where abundantly due and awarded him Best Body of 2013. His conditioning is astonishing in both power and aesthetics.
What of that description can’t be said about relative newcomer Kip Sorell, though? True, Kip is still at that early stage in his career when he’s getting his muscled ass handed to him unfailingly, but truth be told, he’s probably on par with Z-Man’s aptitude at the same point in his career. If anything, Kip’s boyish face could possibly be even a shade more leading-man quality. His skin tone is a perpetually, lusciously dark mocha compared to Z-Man’s silky smooth latte. Without taking an ounce of respect from Z-Man, an objective observer could very well honestly be persuaded that Kip is sporting a percentage less body fat, displaying his phenomenal physique with crystal clarity and severe cuts compared to Z-Man’s more graceful curves. But there’s certainly one thing that describes Z-Man that simply doesn’t apply to Kip: Kip has never been voted Best Body by BG East fans.
So the narrative pretty much writes itself when Z-Man and Kip come pec to pec in Ring Hunks 2. They both are in awe of the sight of their own bodies flexing back at them in the mirror. They’re both firmly convinced of their physical superiority in power and proportion, body part by body part. They’re both supremely stunning, gorgeous specimen’s of physical conditioning and muscle aesthetics. There’s no way that these two egos, so deservingly fed by encountering few as perfected as they, were going to wrestle for anything other than bragging rights for whose body is truly best.
It’s all about competition. When the pose off leaves both studs declaring contested victory, they turn to more objective measures. The fastest to 10 push up contest ends in a draw, so they stretch out their fine bodies in the middle of the ring for an old fashioned arm wrestling match. To Z-Man’s shock, Kip wins. Fiercely, Z-Man demands a best 2 out of 3. Ego swollen as massively as his muscles, Kip smirks and agrees. The formula of strength and endurance swings Z-Man’s way for the 2nd fall. Now both boys have egos both bruised and stroked. Fall 3 decides it, and the decision is Kip’s! He knew his “functional strength” was superior all along. Z-Man flies into a rage all over the younger stud’s stunning bod.
I admit to deeply enjoying Z-Man in the driver’s seat. Now that he’s (mostly) gotten that shit-eating grin under control, he’s amazing to watch suck down the moment with everything he’s got. It’s his idea to revisit the body part by body part comparison that they’d contested during the pose off, and systematically, muscle by muscle, destroy Kip. He starts with the abs. I had to agree with Kip that his dark tan gave him a definite edge in core definition, but then again, I have to agree with Z-Man, once he’s down ripping, stomping, punching and all around annihilating Kip’s gut, that you can’t argue superior abdominals if you’re too wasted to even flex them.
Kip gets some licks in here and there, and I’m adamant in believing he’s GOT to develop his offense to move his wrestling career forward. He stuns Z-Man early on and rolls the Playgirl centerfold up, unforgivably closing his eyes with Z-Man’s bulging crotch trapped a couple inches from his face. I long to see Kip sell more danger, so seeing him controlling the veteran ever so briefly is promising. Even if Kip spends forever in jobberville, I’m a big proponent of everyone, even the most fated jobber, being able to sell that he “could” win, even if he never does.
But this story is for the winner of the Best Body of 2013 to tell. Z-Man viciously wrenches a screeching submission with his claws dug deeply in his opponent’s gut. The pecs fall into focus, and lovely Kip’s chest looks like shredded beef with Z-Man tearing him apart muscle fiber by muscle fiber. The pace and the impact pick up considerably when Z-Man targets Kip’s lower back. High flying slams and my favorite, over-the-knee backbreakers sell with authority the systematic destruction of Kip’s spine. Z-Man shows fans what they love when two muscle hunks wrestle, displaying Kip’s battered, dominated physique to perfection like serving up a gourmet entree. Kip suffers. Screams a little, which turns me on deep, deep down.
Z-Man attacks the legs. Tortures the arms. As testimony to how far he’s come, I barely notice that he’s been driving he bus almost the entire way, maintaing focus and pace, controlling the narrative, pushing the story of Kip’s body part by body part destruction forward with a mature self-restraint that allows us to savor each and every moment.
You can stick a fork in Kip well before Z-Man’s done with him, which is even more homoerotic in my mind. Z-Man toys with the outmatched kid. He seems to genuinely enjoy the feel of control and manipulation, driving Kip to the edge of terror and then letting him crawl back again. When Z-Man’s finally done with him, he hangs him outside the ring from the middle rope like soggy laundry. Kip’s phenomenal physique is nothing but raw nerves now. Z-Man tortures him a little more, but finally puts him out of his misery with a sleeper. Still hanging there limply, Kip is subjected to a rematch of that pre-match pose off. Z-Man flexes and then compares. Kip isn’t anywhere near consciousness, much less flexing his hot muscles, so no one is left to argue that Z-Man’s muscles are bigger, more beautiful, and unarguably more deserving of BG East’s Best Body honor.
This is one hot, sexy match between two of the most honed physiques currently competing in homoerotic wrestling anywhere. There’s character development and drama. If we lined up Z-Man fans and Kip Sorell fans in a row, the wait list for a copy of this match would surely stretch from the BG East mothership outside of Boston to BG East South (where this was taped) in Florida.
But when it comes to the nominees for Best Body of 2014, will it still be Z-Man on top? Will 2012 winner Rio Garza come back to rip the title back from Z-Man’s hands? Or will one of the other stunningly hot bodies populating BG East put Z-Man in his place, kneeling at the feet of some other specimen of overall physical perfection?
Out of the blue, I received a cold call message from none other than the homoerotic wrestling classic giant, Clint Morgan. I’ve mentioned before that I’m a fan of this classic heel from the early days of the homoerotic wrestling industry. Like so many wrestlers I’ve chatted with, Clint appreciates the kind word and sincere appreciation of his work. I, of course, asked for an interview. It took us a while to sort out the logistics, but we finally started. It took a little while for the conversation to warm up (as you’ll see), which I owe to my perpetually picturing big Clint beating the hell out of me if I said something irksome. Things did, indeed, start to warm up, though, and in fact I was surprised by the quantity of heat we tapped into. I probably shouldn’t have been, though. Have you seen this stud wrestle!? Talk about heat! Anyway, this should surprise absolutely no one that Clint Morgan has opinions, big, strong, ballsy opinions that he’s not shy about sharing. So settle in, put on your acid wash jeans, and remember the mullet as I sit down for a chat with one of the sexiest things to emerge from the 1980s.
Bard: Clint Morgan! Holy crap, this is such an honor to get to talk with you! You’ve haunted my wrestling fantasies ever since I first came across some of your matches for BG East. Are you still wrestling today?
Clint: Thank you. Only occasionally, private matches.
Bard: What wrestling experience did you have before wrestling for BG East?
Clint: I wrestled a friend many times while in high school. These were private and clad only in jockey briefs. Later I was studying martial arts when I saw an ad for BG Wrestling. I became a member, began receiving literature and pictures. Saw a solicitation for wrestlers and signed up. This was 1987.
Bard: Wow, BG East just opened up the mail and found Clint Morgan ready to wrestle?! Jackpot! What are some of your memories from when you were just starting to wrestle with BG East? Were you nervous? Excited? Turned on?
Clint: Not exactly BG East. It was BG Wrestling. Bill George contacted me, requested pics of me, forwarded them to Kid Leopard in Boston who contacted me. KL flew me up and did my first matches. Got paid well to do something I loved, and all the emotions you asked were there.
Bard: Oh sure! That portion of history where BG and BG East separated is fuzzy in my mind. You got your hands on some amazingly hot guys. Bryan, Scott Rogers, PJ, Shane McCall… Are there any memories on the mats or in the ring that stick out for you, good, bad, or ugly?
Clint: Oh yeah. I actually wrestled Bryan twice. Great guy and wrestler. Learned a lot from him technically. McCall was the toughest pro match and one of the hottest private matches in my life. All BG wrestlers were really cool guys.
Bard: I’ve heard from several BG wrestlers past and present that they felt a powerful camaraderie with the other wrestlers. It sounds like that was the case for you, too. Was there a closeness off camera that you think made the action on camera that much more intense? And is there any photographic or video evidence left of that hottest private match ever with hotty Shane?!
Clint: It was a fraternal environment. Sadly, no video.
Bard: So I think of Clint Morgan, and I think 6’4″, stunningly sexy, devastatingly powerful, more than a hint of cruel sadist about him, take shit from no one, relishing an opponent’s screams of panicked submission, and making it all hurt a little longer than really necessary to get the point across. How much of that jives with your impression of who you were in front of the camera, and how much of it coincides with who you are off camera?
Clint: Your descriptive narrative is directly on point. Clint is only a character created from my own laughingly twisted psyche. Although if genuinely angered, as has happened in the past, he tends to show up and take over. A form of an alter ego. Thanks for the compliments, by the way.
Bard: Trust me, it’s my pleasure to get to tell you in person what a delight it is to watch you terrorize a wrestling opponent! You still have extremely loyal fans of your catalog. Were there any particular reasons you stopped showing up on camera?
Clint: In life there are unavoidable challenges like the devastating loss of my hero and best friend: my father. Then I, for many years just wandered aimlessly. Still worked but lost purpose. Suffered depression and drug addiction but beat all of it without professional help and now 11 years clean. Going back to the gym and rebuilding my body.
Bard: All the respect in the world for the rough road you’ve traveled. So sorry for the loss of your father, but congratulations on your 11 years. I’m just going to assume you’re heading for the biggest comeback in BG East history, so who are some of the current wrestlers who you’d like to get your hands on first?
Clint: Tyrell Tomsen. Is that his name? [laughing] Big black stud who wrestled Braden Charron.
Bard: Hell yes! Tyrell is a fantastic choice to start with! Damn that body is incredible. Any ideas where you’d start when introducing him to the brutal world of Clint Morgan?
Clint: Abs, pecs, throat.
Bard: Yes. Yes. And Yes! Tyrell has faced some awesome competition, but I feel like he has yet to really encounter a full on session with a true heel. Would you like to face him in the ring? On the mats? In a back alley? In my living room?
Clint: Name it. But I want an all out rip ‘n’ strip match, no rules, winner take all.
Bard: In that case, I definitely want to see that happen in my living room! And by “all” I hope you’re referring to that stellar ass of Tyrell’s. He’s a stunning combination of being painfully pretty and incredible meaty. Is that a particular combo you like in an opponent?
Clint: I absolutely crave it. I like black, white, anybody built with a nice ass.
Bard: Hell yes, now we’re talking! Again, Tyrell has had his ass stripped a couple of times, but never by someone who seems to really appreciate it the way it deserves. Any other current wrestlers with asses you’d like to take possession of?
Bard: Holy crap, Dick Rick meets Clint Morgan in the ring, no rules, anything goes!? I’m swooning as we speak. And when it comes to Cameron, he’s grown into quite the beautiful specimen of beef lately. I’d also like to recommend Kid Karisma get on your short list. Two-time best butt winner? That irrepressible attitude? I’d give a kidney to see Kid K face the epic reboot of Clint Morgan!
Clint: I know Karisma from Colorado. Met him a couple years ago at a bar named Charlies, where I was a bouncer.
Bard: I think he’s packed on muscle mass in the past couple of years. Cute as a button and lives to bully. I think he definitely deserves a session with the bouncer. Can we talk numbers? Your BG East profile says you’re 6’4″. Is that an exaggeration, or are you seriously that tall?
Clint: 6’3” barefoot. Boots add an inch.
Bard: 6’3″ barefoot sounds pretty perfect to me. That’s a lot of real estate that I’ve seen you use to devastating effect. Are there holds that you feel make the most of that long body? Any particular moves that a whimpering Tyrell would find himself in?
Clint: Rack is my favorite, but I have many including abdominal stretch, Boston crab, surfboard, and the list goes on and on.
Bard: A rack from that height is a fantastic thing to see. Is there anything that you think is missing from today’s homoerotic wrestling industry that was there when you were taping? There’s a lot of “nostalgia” wafting around among wrestling fans, but I’m not sure if it’s really about what’s showing up on camera, or if it’s more about changing times, changing tastes, and rose-colored glasses about the early days.
Clint: Glad you brought that up. To some, what I and others did years ago seems primitive. Today what I see is pretty, gay, and gay-for-pay boys (like Rio Garza) who either don’t know how to wrestle or aren’t convincing attempting it. It is sad, but older, heavier guy don’t sell videos like young pretty boys do, and the proprietors of these video companies have sold out literally in my view. The days of good old school pro wrestling are pretty much gone. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good private sexfight/cockfight as much as anyone, but only with two guys who know how to dish and sell.
Bard: Tough words, which I’d expect no less from Clint Morgan! So if you were master of the universe for a day, you’d make more old school pro bouts happen, with better dish and sell? I’m with you. And including more mature bodies and skills alongside of the pretty young things? Absolutely. Anything else you’d make happen?
Clint: No gay-for-pay allowed. Reason: they won’t in most cases seal the deal if it got to that. And all would be properly schooled and instructed then totally rehearsed before ever appearing on video. I’m tired of this ridiculous and repugnant garbage these companies are putting out there. At least Van Darkholme’s guys can, for the most part, wrestle. Sadly not pro, but you get the idea.
Bard: You’re talking about Naked Kombat? I go back and forth with them. There’s a sweet intensity about their format, but the pornboys often are more heart than substance. And the sex round is often pretty rote and oddly formulaic for a pretty unscripted sense of the combat.
Clint: Agreed, but I didn’t mean to indicate they were perfect. Just in my view on average better than the others.
Bard: Any guys there that you’d like to get a good hold of and score points?
Bard: I completely agree about DJ. He was incredibly athletic and incredibly intense. So lean, downright skinny even, but kicked ass way above his weight class (not that NK has weight classes). If you could hand pick two lightweights to try to handle you, any particular duo (NK, BGE, whoever) you’d like to crush two at a time?
Bard: Tasty treat! Very, very nice lightweight combo. How would that one finish off, would you imagine? And please tell me it involves that Ken doll Kip gagging on his own trunks.
Clint: Yeah and Gil ‘s naked bod draped across Kip’s, with Gil’s cock in Kip’s open mouth.
Bard: Perfection! Damn, I want to see your comeback. Your brutally honest critique of the state of the industry notwithstanding, I hope you don’t mind me putting this angle out there: Clint “the Bouncer” Morgan returns to clean house and bounce any pretty boy who can’t sell out of the business. Terrorize the gay-for-pay class. Brutalize the twinks who just want to look pretty. The Bouncer tosses the riff raff and becomes the antihero of 85% of homoerotic wrestling fans. What do you think?
Clint: LOVE IT!
Bard: Awesome. It’d sell huge among the fans I talk with. You get your 6’3″ body into the shape you need to pop Tyrell’s cork, and I’ll work on the buzz. I have to say, Clint, how pleased I am to get this glimpse of you. You are as engaging and provocative in your reflections as you are terrifying in action. And that’s saying a lot! Anything you’d like to say to your fans who are instantly lighting a torch for the dream to see you on camera again? Any words for the Clint Morgan devotees that think the industry was never quite as thrilling as when you where staring way, way down at a quaking opponent?
Clint: I am grateful to all of my fans. Grateful for their adulation and appreciation of my work. Without them I am nothing more than a vaudeville style freak show. So thank you all. Oh, and one last thing. Better watch your back, Tyrell!
Bard: Hell yes! Will you keep me posted on how the training is going, what piece of fluff finds his way onto your bouncer list, etc?
Clint: Absolutely, Bard.
Bard: Fantastic! Well, I’ll say it again, this has been an outstanding pleasure. On behalf of a ton of fans I know, thanks for taking the time to let is know what you’re up to. All the very best for what lies ahead for you, and I’m desperately hoping that includes your return to the ring to clean house!
I’m a bad gay, I realize, but I hate awards shows. I like seeing who won awards the next day, mind you, but I have no patience for the pretensions of red carpets and tearful speeches and what passes for entertaining song and dance numbers. That said, I’d be glued to my television if BG East ever decided to produce an awards show to unveil their year-end viewer’s choice poll winners… particularly if the song and dance numbers were an occasional tuxedo rip ‘n’ strip match center stage. Short of that, I am enjoying pouring over the just announced winners of the BG East Best Of 2013s, comparing where I run with the pack and where I’m clearly a lone wolf.
Running with the pack, I voted with the majority in selecting Kip Sorell as debut of the year. That said, I would like to think that Lane Hartley might be severely pissed to be passed over, requiring a severe and brutal beating of epically pretty Kip. Fingers crossed…
Best abs to Eli Black for me and you for the second year in a row. Eli is an anatomy chart, so it’s hard not to see what we’re all looking at. That said, I think this category is one of the most competitive, and Eli’s abs surely have earned a big, bright target painted on them by the many worthy also-rans.
Two years running, I and the majority have inescapably concluded that Kid Karisma’s ass is simply the best in the business. That world class ass is just one of the top reasons that Kid K wrestled the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler away from Lon Dumontlate in 2013. Last year, runner-up Cameron Matthews complained bitterly about being passed over for this one. In that proposed awards show in the future, I believe it would be only fair to see all of the finalists asses displayed, immediately prior to the winner’s announcement, followed closely by a bareassed beatdown in a pit of oil.
I and the majority agreed that the best mat battle (by far, in my estimation) was Cameron’s incredibly sexy and intense tussle with Eli in Mat Hunks 9. Wowza! The chemistry between these two totally took me by surprise, and I believe both of these amazing studs brought out the very best in one another. Simply incredible match!
I personally felt that there was no real competition for Best Squash. Whether the voting was as much a squash as Custom Combat, I don’t know, but one way or another, the majority of voters agreed with me in picking Jonny’s infinite variations on a squashing theme all over sweetly suffering Drake Marcos.
Miss any of these? Shame on you. Now is your chance to redeem yourself, though, because BG East is offering the products of all of the winning matches at a 25% discountfor the remainder of this month. I’ll comment later on where my tastes diverged with the herd, but my ballot ran about 33% with winners in this year’s polling. All these hunks are over the top winners in my book, and I hope that accolades and praise go straight to their heads, requiring extensive drama and punishment to knock them back down to size.
I’ve promised myself not to lobby too hard for any of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers up for end-of-the-year best of BG East “BGs” awards, but I will tell you that you need to vote. I will not attempt to sway public opinion. I will not attempt to sway public opinion. I will not attempt….
Personally, I’m entirely supportive of Jake Jenkins developing a specialty in rookie wrecking. Sure, it seems like only yesterday the gorgeous quadruple threat (dazzling beauty, devastating mat skills, dangerous ring skills, and demolishing MMA moves) was starring in his own Ripped Rookies sweat bath match against friendly rival golden boy Austin Cooper. But there’s always been something seasoned and grounded about Jake’s confidence. It’s not as if Jake can’t compete with (hell, dominate!) in the deep end of the pool, but he sure looks like he’s never having more fun than when breaking in, breaking down, and humiliating a baby faced rookie. Now that it seems like he’s developed a taste for humbling and hurting beautiful newbies, I think Jake is really coming into his own. Take, for example, his total mastery of beautiful muscleboy Kip Sorell in BG East’s new release, Backyard Brawls 8.
First, a word about said rookie, Kip. Actually, I have a strong feeling that this will just be the first of many, many words to be said about Kip, because this heavenly body has an instant and irresistible gravitational pull. Let me start with the face, because if I start elsewhere, I’m likely to get too distracted to remember to mention that this kid has made-for-tv-movies Hollywood handsomeness that makes me count my lucky stars that he showed up on the doorstep of BG East. The leading man jawline, the button nose, the full eyebrows to compliment the shaggy mane of hair… it all adds up to Kip being an intoxicating mix of boy-next-door meets Chippendale dancer. I’ve got $10 for the first BG East wrestler to tongue wrestle this virginal slut (metaphorically speaking… about the “virginal slut,” not the $10!).
It’s Kip’s picture perfect physique that plays the starring role in the narrative of his Backyard Brawls 8 match. Even Jake gives the sculpted rookie credit as they approach the mats. “You look pretty big there,” the veteran acknowledges. “I have to admit, I’m a little scared to wrestle you.” There are two possible explanations for this stunningly self-deprecating maneuver from Jake. First, he’s genuinely scared. If I saw a specimen of muscle and conditioning like Kip coming at me aggressively, I’d probably be scared (oh, fuck that, I’d be full aroused and ready to grab hold with every appendage I’ve got). But the second possibility, the one I’m more inclined to believe, is that Jake is fucking with the kid’s head. If that’s the case, it works. Kip grins, a little embarrassed, struggling with a comeback, trying to gauge what an appropriate game face looks like when your opponent, who has the reputation for demolishing opponents, pays you an instant compliment. Not 20 seconds later, and Jake has the rookie pounded into the mat and screaming in agony. Yeah, right. Jake was really scared.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jake smile as much during a match as he does picking apart Kip’s mouthwatering carcass. “Yeah, you got all those muscles. Well, so do I. And mine look better!” Jake boasts. There are wrestling fans who would quibble with this proclamation. As for me, I’d worship Jake’s body morning, noon and night, but arguably, Kip Sorrel’s conditioning, size and raw strength are probably, objectively, superior. But when Kip is tied up like a pretzel, every joint getting ripped apart, screaming in agony, and his opponent is grinning from ear to ear, barely breathing hard, and flexing for the camera with his free arm (because it doesn’t even take him two hands), Kip is in no position to argue.
Sweet mother of god, Jake tortures the rookie with a command and expertise that’s like crack cocaine to a wrestling fanatic like me. Every lickable inch of the physique-star rookie is displayed by his tormentor for our delight. Kip spends an eternity, multiple times, getting his crotch ripped open wide, his taut hamstrings quivering, his trunks threatening to either rip apart at the seams or simply stretch past the point of fully covering up what they’re designed to cover. I think there’s got to be a market for a voyeur’s choice match, where a randy fan/blogger gets to step in at a moment like this and get his hands and lips all over the captured, helpless body being owned (write your favorite wrestling producer and recommend this!).
Jake gets cocky. Hell, Jake is cocky and backing it up from 3 seconds out of the starting gate, but there’s a particular moment when he’s leaning in a little too close, pausing just a little too long as he licks his lips trying to decide what method of corporal punishment to deliver to Kip next, when like a bear trap, the rookie’s thighs snap shut around the veteran’s head. Holy shit, watching Kip’s handsome face grow a sideways smirk in self-congratulations as he makes Jake suffer extremely long, and extremely hard, is astonishingly arousing! “Now I’m having all the fun,” Kip coos, flexing, stretching, doing push ups, and being an all around taunting bully. Those legs of his, taut, ripped, flexed like a bundle of steel cables, are unbelievable. Can you imagine how dangerous this kid could be with some training and experience!?
However, Kip Sorell lacks training and experience. And after milking out a humiliating submission with those phenomenal thighs, he makes the mistake of trying to rub it in with a crotch-in-your-face schoolboy pin 3-count. Now, I’d pay this stunner a healthy day’s wages to sit right there on my chest for hours on end, but Jake is not me. Like the monkey boy Kid Karisma knows that he is, Jake hooks the rook’s underarms with his feet and absolutely launches the kid flying several feet into the air and off of Jake’s chest. Kip is laughing, still slapping himself on that perfect v-shaped back for the submission, and either not noticing or not taking seriously just how pissed Jake is at the gratuitous post-submission humiliation. Rookies… (smh).
The banter in this bout is top notch, best I’ve ever heard from Jake. “Come on, scream just a little bit louder,” he demands, grinning ear to ear as he instantly has the rookie compromised again. “I’ll make you, dude! Come on, just two words, and it’s all over. You know the words!” Kip is a tough son of a bitch, and all of those fantastic muscles soak up a truly incredible quantity of punishment before he submits again. But he submits again, don’t doubt it for a second. “This is a lot easier than I thought it would be,” Jake snarls with contempt. “Hey, bro, why do you even work out? Just stay home!” Um… shut up Jake. The rook is entirely, vulnerably, pristinely perfect, just the way he is (trapped there, screaming between your lightly hairy thighs).
The initial playful respect and give and take give way to Jake unveiling a seriously sadistic side. He pins the ripped rookie again. He forces another submission. He drags him to his feet by that mop of pretty hair and then slams him back down at will, beating the air out of his lungs and last ounce of strength from those lovely muscles. “And to top it off, I don’t really like you too much!” Jake spits, sliding his dangerous legs around the rookie’s throat and slowly sliding them into place for an intimate, crotch-pillowed figure-4 sleeper. The smiling rookie leans over and shoves his tattooed right bicep in front of Kip’s dazed face. “That’s right. Struggle,” Jake taunts. “See that? That’s the last thing you’re going to see before you go to sleep.”
Jake Jenkins is a certified rookie wrecker, and he loves his job with a passion. The delight he takes in force-feeding the bulging pretty boy rookie the turf is simply awesome. The contortions he puts Kip Sorell through do the double duty of making the newbie scream and submit AND forcing Kip’s magnificent, muscled ass to repeatedly struggle free from being entirely contained by his sexy trunks. Jake does not win the $10 I’m offering for the first wrestler to apply a lip lock to Kip Sorell, but short of that, this is a picture perfect match. And Kip may not have won Jake’s respect, but holy hell, no one else is going to mistake the obvious truth that this kid can swallow mass quantities of punishment and keep coming back for more.