Mason Brooks – Page 3

Picking Over the Pieces of Team Vanity

July 4, 2016 wrestlebard5 Comments

So much virtual ink has been spilled over the opening match in Tag Team Torture 19, I figured everything that could be said has been said by now. You’ve heard my opinions, Alex’s opinions, Joe’s opinions, and most recently, Wrestling Arsenal’s opinions on the classic confrontation between star spangled All-Americans Christian Taylor and Charlie Evans facing off agains Team Vanity, Ty Alexander and Chase Addams. But of everything that’s been said about this match, one thing we haven’t heard is what the wrestlers themselves might have to say about this much lauded new release. I’m tickled pink camo to report that both members of Team Vanity agreed to sit down with me and reflect on what went right and what went wrong for them in Tag Team Torture 19. I was so pleased that Ty and Chase were willing to set aside the bad blood that boiled over between them on camera to team up again for this interview. But not everything that tore them apart in TTT19 is exactly put back together again, and things go off the rails before the interview has even started, as you’ll see. There were hard words, hard feelings, and hard cocks (well, at least mine) by the time this chaotic twofer interview concluded, so buckle up, whip out your “selfie stick,” and enjoy the hard sell charm offense of 2015 Jobber of the Year Ty Alexander and dangerously charming newbie Charming Chase Addams.

0106_lg — Team Vanity: Ty Alexander and Chase Addams

Bard: I haven’t seen any sign of Ty yet.

Chase: Late as usual.

Bard: Well, let’s get this started, and hope that Ty shows up sooner rather than later. It is a great pleasure to get to talk with you, Chase!

Chase: Pleasure is mine.

Bard: You made quite an impression on BG East fans with your stunning debut on Tag Team Torture 19. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard of a rookie debuting with two matches on one DVD before. How was it for you to get introduced to the meat grinder that is BG East competition?

0134_lg — **Chase shows off his “different set of skills” all over Christian.**

Chase: Not going to lie, it was a bit nerve racking. I’m not exactly your cookie cutter BG performer. I definitely brought a different build and different set of skills to the ring, and I wasn’t for sure how well received it would be. But so far everyone seems to be responding pretty positively to me.

Bard: Uh, hell yes! All the buzz that I’ve seen and heard has been very positive. So what are some of those different skills that you’ve brought with you to BG East, and where did you learn them?

Chase: I’m definitely very pro orientated, without having been a pro on the indy circuit, like BG normally brings in. I haven’t had the time traveling around and performing, so I had to practice over and over again in the ring in St. Louis until everything got perfect

Bard: You’re a mid-West boy?

Chase: Heartland born and raised. I’ve only lived near St. Louis for about two and a half years now.

Bard: Have you always been into wrestling, or is this relatively new?

Chase: I’ve always been a wrestling fan. I grew up on guys like Bret Hart. I was too young, in my parents opinion, to watch the Attitude era, so I got to start watching it again in about 2002, I think. Randy Orton and Evolution were becoming a thing. So no, this isn’t new for me.

Bard: You look pretty damned seasoned in TTT19. That was some fine, technical wrestling. Who would you say your style is modeled after?

0130_lg — **Chase is partial to a joint snapping armbar.**

Chase: I think my style is a bit of a mix. I see something that someone does that impresses me and I add that to my list. Currently, I’ve been watching a lot of Zach Sabre Jr, and Becky Lynch lately. Something about armbars are so simple and so effective.

Bard: You nearly rip apart more than a couple of arms in TTT19 with those armbars and wristlocks. Was it all science and calculations for you, or did you enjoy putting a hurt on your opponents?

Chase: I go in with a game plan, but if something else seems to work better, I can be a little flexible. If there is blood in the water, I go right for it.

Bard: That definitely shows. The match description on the website suggests that Ty gets some credit for bringing you into BG East. How did your relationship with the Trophy Boy come about?

Chase: I met Ty through a former BG wrestler, and he introduced us. Ty and I kept in touch, and he was a pretty strong advocate for bringing me into the company.

Bard: It should come as no surprise to fans for me to reveal that things go south for your tag team relationship. I mean, it turns really, really ugly there. I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised that Ty is, thus far, standing us up for what had been agreed to be a joint interview. Are things still icy between the two of you?

Chase: I’m fine with everything. His ego is probably still recovering from the two matches. It is unfortunate that he couldn’t bother to show up for this. It’s disrespectful to the both of us really.

Bard: I know well that Ty has a very sizable ego. In your working relationship with him, as brief as it was, how would you handicap the Trophy Boy? What would you say is his biggest asset in the ring, and, conversely, what would you say is Ty’s biggest weakness?

Chase: I’m sure in his opinion his biggest asset would be his ass. He seems to find a way to get it hanging out every match…the entire match. He gets so caught up in himself that it really hinders him.

Ty: [arriving and interrupting] I’m here now, so you can start the interview.

Chase: So glad you could be bothered to join us.

Bard: I’m glad you could make it after all, Ty!

13555737_1822984737935671_865839221_o-1 — **It takes time to look this good.**

Ty: Sorry, Bard. I spent all night picking out my week’s gear. Gotta look amazing in the ring. Takes a lot out of a guy. Had to get that beauty sleep in, and I mean, come on! It takes time to look this good. So you can understand, I’m sure. Also had to polish my multiple awards. Debut, wrestler of the year, and all that. You know how it is.

Chase: And, my point is proven.

Bard: [laughing] Interestingly, Chase was just sharing that he thinks your obsession with your ass may be your biggest weakness when you climb into the ring. How you feel about that?

Ty: How can an ass like this be a weakness!? Oh, Chase is here too, huh [just noticing]? Yeah, I totally forgot about that one. I mean he did get a close up look of it.

Bard: [laughing] Too true! Your tag team opponents shoved your face right between Ty’s bubble cheeks, Chase. Is Ty’s ass as phenomenal as it’s made out to be?

Ty: [interrupting as Chase starts to reply] I can answer that. Yes, yes it is. I mean look at this! It gave Kid Karisma competition finally for best ass. And sorry, Chase, when your photos have as many admirers as mine do you will understand being fashionably late.

Chase: When you’re a professional, you show up on time.

Bard: Okay, this is going to get out of hand, I can tell. So, Ty, since I gave Chase a chance to handicap you, what would you say are Chase’s biggest asset and weakness as a ring rookie?

Ty: Assets? Hmm. Have to think about that [tapping his chin, looking stumped].

Bard: Seriously, you have nothing complimentary to say about your tag team partner!?

h0121_lg — **Team Vanity doesn’t know what just hit them (each other).**

Ty: I’d say Chase is an amazing wrestler. There is no doubt about that. But that’s just it: he’s a rookie. I mean so many rookie mistakes. I mean, who falls for the oldest trick in the book of tripping over a foot?! Seriously!? Also that ghostly lack of a tan. I’m sure Charlie can see him coming a mile away.

Bard: Well, I suppose that answers the assets and weaknesses question. What would each of you say are the ingredients of a successful tag team?

Ty: Matching outfits, of course! Gotta coordinate everything perfectly. The look. The attitude. That’s why I tried to groom Chase in the best way possible: in my image. I mean, come on, look at that look! We looked awesome!

Chase: Synergy is important. The two involved need to be on the same level. When one is dragging the other along by his overly tan hide, it gets a little strenuous on the other.

Ty: Yeah, you were a good bit under my level, thanks for admitting that.

Bard: Well, both of you have put your finger on my next question, which is where did Team Vanity go off the rails? So much promise. Fabulously matching gear. Serious ring skills. But those All-Americans seriously own you both at multiple points in your match. What went wrong?

Ty: Another thing a tag team needs is concern for their partner, which I had. Chase took a hit to the face, and who was there to look and make sure nothing happened? Me, that’s who. The poor guy would have been lost without me.

Chase: Such a caring partner. Especially with the elbow drop across my face

Ty: I only did it to reset you nose after the little ginger bitch hit you. I was helping! I’d say things fell apart with Chase being a klutz and ramming his face into my balls when he tripped over Christian’s foot. A concerned partner would have also tried to pull my trunks up, but I also understand how distracting it could be. It happens.

Bard: What do you think was the nail in the coffin of Team Vanity, Chase?

Ty: That nail of a nose in my perfect ass [cough, cough].

Chase: When he decided to attack me, aka, the elbow to my face.

Ty: I told you, I was trying to fix your nose!!! No appreciation from these rookies, I swear. Try to help them, and they think you attack them, ugh. No trust at all.

h0207_lg — In the grudge match that follows their tag team debut, it’s not always clear who has whom!

Bard: [laughing] So, can we talk about your singles match, that followed that fateful tag team car crash with the All-Americans? You both look incredibly evenly matched for the first third of the match or so. Were you surprised by how close that match was?

Chase: I felt bad during the first part of the match. His bruised ego and all. I was holding back for his sake.

Ty: Bruised ego, huh? Not at all. My ego is in tact. What wasn’t was my body after you caused more damage than our opponents during our tag team match. Busted lip, sore ass, welt on my head, sprained ankle. I couldn’t take pics all day, damn it! But to answer the actual question, Bard, I wasn’t so surprised. After all, he was emulating me.

Bard: Now that sounds serious, if Ty wasn’t physically able to take selfies.

Ty: I know! Don’t worry, though. I have made a full recovery

Chase: [rolling eyes] Joyous.

Ty: Shut up, Chase! I should have known you were up to no good. Wearing all that camo. Sneaky son of a bitch. See, Bard, gear obviously makes the match. He needed to cheat by wearing camo. It even helped hide that bleached body of his.

h0214_lg — This grudge match is personal!

Bard: [laughing] Well, I think that answers my question about any ongoing bad blood between the two of you. I’m trying not to include too much of a spoiler here for fans who haven’t seen the matches, but it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise that you both suffer hard at each other’s hands. They say no one can hurt you worse than a lover, and I’m wondering if something similar holds for pro wrestling. No one knows how to hurt you worse than a tag team partner. Do you think you two could ever patch things up and give the tag team circuit another try?

0212_lg — For the record: Chase will NOT worship the ground Ty walks on.

Chase: Ty seems to want to “mold me into his image.” I’m not down for that. I don’t plan on having my career being based off of being Ty’s tag team partner. I’m skillful enough to stand on my own. Ty likes to call me “this rookie.” I haven’t been doing this for a decade, but I have been doing this on my own for the past two and a half years. This isn’t my first rodeo, and it won’t be my last. So, in short, Ty can go find someone else to worship the ground he walks on.

Ty: You know what? Fine, you ungrateful ass. I will! There are tons of BG East prospects who would kill to tag with me. I was going to give you a second chance. Give you an opportunity to try your own thing, but please, by all means, see how far you go, little man. And two and a half years!? Ha! Please, I’ve been doing it way longer than you, buddy.

Bard: Now that’s a definitive “no!” Based on what I’ve seen, I’d say you definitely have everything you need to stand on your own, Chase. You mentioned early on, before Ty arrived, that you don’t have a typical physical build for BG East wrestlers. Can we talk about your body just a bit?

Chase: Sure thing, Bard.

Ty: His body!? Huh, please. You really think that can stand up to Kayden, Guido, Kid Karisma? Ha! They would snap him like a twig.

13595880_1720538151529104_1159778391_n — You aren’t looking at Chase’s shoulders, are you?

Bard: So, sure Ty, chime in here, but I want to talk about the fresh meat on the table, namely, Chase’s body. Personally, Chase, I think you’ve got a sensational body for pro wrestling. And you know what discerning eyes BG East fans have. I know what I like about your body, but what are you particularly proud of about your physique, Chase?

Ty: I’ll keep my comments to myself. No matter how much of a disappointment he is, I can’t deny Chase the compliment that he has a nice body. Trust me, he does work hard.

Chase: Well, I’m constantly striving to be better, but I’m told I have nice shoulders [laughing].

Bard: I could see that, Chase. Your shoulders are sexy. You also have unquestionably sexy nipples. I’m hoping that you and Mason Brooks square off at some point for a sexy nipple contest.

Mason and Chase need to settle this in the ring!

Chase: I would love to face Mason over who has better nipples! I’m sure that’d be fun!

Bard: Uh, fuck yes, that would be fun!!! Oh, you mean for you? Yes, I get the sense that wrestling Mason is intensely pleasant and painful all at the same time. Can you talk more about what you meant when you said you have a “different build” than most wrestlers at BG East?

13566141_1720538158195770_1366766235_n — Slender with a bit of mass.

Chase: I’m more slender, but I still have a bit of mass on me. It’s like I’m the best of both worlds combined.

Ty: [laughing] Best of both worlds? You’re in your own little world, that’s for sure.

Bard: Like I said, I think you’re mighty fine, Chase. I do think that some BG East fans key in on one particular body type. Some like the massive bodybuilders. Others get off on bear daddies. Some like the fashion models. As for me, I savor them all. And I think you bring a great look and a very sexy bod to contribute to the mix. Ty brought up the challenge that you face now that you’ve been introduced to the ranks of BG East, namely big, bruising heels with boatloads of wrestling experience and anywhere from 30 to 60 pounds of muscle mass advantage over you. Have you thought about how you’d handle the big, big bad boys at BG East?

Ty:I think a BG East veteran would be skeptical of his ability to handle the bigger guys, that’s for sure.

Chase: There is plenty more of me that the audience hasn’t seen of me yet.

Bard: Well, I for one am eager to sample more. I think you may want to watch your back, though. Ty seems to be nursing a grudge.

Ty: Not at all. A grudge? Never! Never that. [laughing evilly] I mean, why would I plot the downfall and pain of someone who I eagerly wait to see again soon?

Chase: He can be bitter and butt-hurt all he wants. I don’t mind.

Ty: Bitter and butt-hurt? [laughing] Please, just you wait, you little wannabe pretty boy. I have personal connections inside BG, and with the Boss. You think you can take on some of the bigger guys, be my guest. I can’t wait to see the result. I’m sure Boss Leopard will have a few things to say about your bitch attitude

Bard: So, Ty, what about you? I recently described you as seeming to be in the process of becoming your truest self. Your wrestling skills, your body, your attitude… you’ve been on a steep climb in your career thus far, and you’ve been making huge advances. That said, your actual success in the ring has been limited. What’s in store for you?

Ty: For me? Oh, lots in store for me. I have been working hard with people from all over getting tips and training more with the Boss and Firestorm. Can I help it that people love me when I get my ass whopped? Not really, but those are what the Boss gives me for opponents. Bigger guys that some of the smaller ones are too afraid to face, because the Boss knows I can take it. That being said, you have seen two total pieces so far of my expansive Trophy Boy collection. There are many colors of the rainbow, and with my new attitude, outlook, and training, I’m gonna be way more aggressive and more cocky. I’m not afraid of anyone. And I know what “assets” I have to work to my advantage.

h0822_lg — Ty’s not afraid of the big boys!

Chase: Everyone deserves to feel special, even Ty. I’m sure Ty is going to continue his transformation into becoming the Kathy Griffin of BGE. All talk, all annoyance, all day, everyday.

Ty: Ha! I’m not D-List, Chase, I’m all A-List! Buckle up, little man. And buckle up, fans. There is a new Ty in town, and he’s here to stay.

Bard: I think you both have very, very bright futures ahead of you. Ty, if you could give one piece of advice to Chase as he looks to take his next steps in his wrestling career, what would it be?

Chase: Oh, this ought to be good.

Ty: Watch your ba….. I mean, um, work hard keep training and get better.

Bard: [laughing] Sounds like good advice, Ty. Chase, as someone who has studied the sport extensively and worked closely with your former tag team partner here, what advice would you give to Ty at this point in his career?

Chase: Say your prayers, take your vitamins, stay in school, don’t do drugs. If he hasn’t learned anything by this point, he’s not going to. He’s been doing this for so much longer than I have, yet I’ve surpassed him in skill. Not much I can do for that.

Ty: Cocky little shit. I can’t wait to see you get your ass beaten. In fact I want a front row seat.

Chase: Only if we can find a muzzle for you.

Ty: Been there done that in a match.

Bard: Sage advice, all around. Well, I for one am truly sorry that Team Vanity seems to have run its course so soon. I loved your chemistry, and I’m sorry that more tag team opponents won’t get the opportunity to get ripped apart by the two of you in tandem. However, I am anxiously anticipating the next chapters in both of your wrestling careers. I hope you’ll both stay in touch with me and let neverland readers know how things are going for you on and off camera as things unfold for you.

Chase: Anything for you, Bard.

Bard: Hey, now. Keep talking like that, and I bet you’ll get very glowing reviews, Chase!

Ty: Always pleasure to interview for you, Bard. Even if the co-interviewee is Chase.

Bard: You’re a force of nature, Ty. I’m glad you were able to join us after all. This interview was a little like herding cats, but I was delighted to get to talk to you both. Thanks for letting fans in on a little more of what goes into the epic rise and fall of such a promising tag team!

Chase: Thanks again, Bard.

Ty: Later.

The future looks bright for Chase Addams and Ty Alexander.

Stay Hard, Ready and Real

June 21, 2016December 19, 2022 wrestlebard8 Comments

A very special bonus to prattling on and on about homoerotic wrestling the way I do is that occasionally, like a gift from the homoerotic wrestling gods, some magnificent hunk who has inspired my wrestling musings contacts me. Truth be told, it happens more than you know, because about 50% of the time those wrestlers decline my invitation to say something on the record, in their own words. But the other half of such cases are open to letting me toss some questions their way and to share their answers with the readers of this blog. Happily for you and me, bruising beefcake heel daddy Brook Stetson is in that second half.

Brook stumbled across neverland and found my adoring mentions of him, including when I named him one of my homoerotic wrestlers of the month five years ago for his work working over my long-time wrestling crush, Mitch Colby. We chatted a bit before we went “on the record” for the following interview. Amid so many pretty boys and twinks that get acknowledged on these pages, Brook wasn’t sure he was likely to rank high for neverland readers. Honestly, I found this completely confounding, because… well, fuck, LOOK at him!!?! And if you’ve ever seen Brook wrestle, you know that his brand of raw, rough, powerful, dominating, lustful grappling is precisely what this blog is all about. In any case, what follows is the delightful conversation that unfolded.

Brook Stetson (aka Brad Michaels, Vinny Reno, Clark Kent, Blockhead, The Tick, & American Dad)

Bard: Brook, thanks so much for agreeing to take some questions! I think you have one of the most distinctive looks in all of homoerotic wrestling. Sort of classic cowboy meets comic book superhero (or villain). What heritage produces that phenomenal physique and hypermasculine jawline?

Brook: I’m a full on mutt, I have a little bit of everything in the family tree if you shake it out hard enough. I guess on the plus side there is the old adage amongst breeders that mutts are stronger than pure breeds. I used to be teased in the military, being called Clark Kent, when I wore standard issue glasses. I was Blockhead in high school, university, and the Tick and American Dad, since.

Bard: I could see all of those. I was guessing a mix. Maybe a bit of Greek god, Roman god, Norse god, something like that. You’ve definitely got a face for stopping traffic.

Brook: Well, it is a very hard chin. It has been known to hurt those who land a punch on it.

Bard: I bet! So when you contacted me, you shared what I think may be the best compliment ever. After reading some of my blog you said that I “get it” when it comes to writing about your kink. Can you talk more about what “it” is?

Brook: That my wrestling, even when just “straight” wrestling, has a combat subtext of primal control, domination, and assertion of sexual superiority. I get off on the emotional, intellectual, and physical struggle of it all. I’m one twisted fuck [laughing].

Bard: Call me “Pretzel,” then, because that makes two of us twisted fucks. I’ve seen a lot of your matches, and I’ve often found myself thinking of you like a force of nature, like the pounding tide or a gale force wind: irresistible and irrepressible. How would you describe your wrestling style?

Brook: Equal parts bull in a china shop, technician, and amateur sadist.

Bard: I can see all of those ingredients. I’ve seen you wrestle big, bruising opponents like Mitch Colby as well as guys much smaller than you, like Skrapper. Is the experience any different for you in a catch weight contest?

Brook: Absolutely, I have a tendency to break my toys so I need to employ more finesse and skill with a catch weight than I do a similar sized victim. Both are a lot of fun but in different ways.

Bard: Are there any matches that stand out for you? Opponents that uniquely tested you, took you by surprise or particularly turned you on?

Brook vs. Chance Caldwell in Fantasy Fight 11

Brook: Chance Caldwell for BG Enterprise, he had been an Olympic contender in Greco Roman for Czechoslovakia. He really made me use my amateur skills. Mike Adams for NHB Battle and I started to battle often off camera and was some of the most rough fun I have had with a straight boy. Skrapper was a blast because he took a lot of punishment and kept coming back for more; he is lucky I didn’t rape the fuck out of him. Tony Vencini and I had some good combat foreplay that needed more exploring and then one of my favorite jobber toys was Mitch Colby. Let’s just say that what’s played on camera doesn’t scratch the surface of what’s off camera.

Bard: I haven’t seen the Chance Caldwell match but I love him! I have to look that one up. I greatly enjoyed your matches with Skrapper, Tony and your Mitch match was award winning on my blog. How does your wrestling in private compare with what we see that gets published?

Brook: It’s more primal privately. For the camera you have to leave space and time for the camera to follow and capture the shots. I rarely allow that much airspace privately [laughing]. Shooting a match for video is difficult for me because I tend to let my instinct take over and can forget to stay on script. I’m not naturally submissive or tame so I have to really try to capture those traits when needed.

h0905_lg — Suffering for long is not something that comes naturally to Brook

Bard: How much direction do you get when you’re taping a match for public consumption?

Brook: Surprisingly, not a lot. I’m pretty lucky in that most of the companies recognize a certain level of skill and chemistry I have with my opponents and let it play out mostly. Usually the direction is slow it down or cheat the shot more towards the camera. I just completed a couple for Naked Kombat where they literally said, you guys just go for it and we’ll try to keep up. Now that was fun!

Bard: You wrestled for NK? Damn, now I’ll definitely have to resubscribe. As an avid consumer, the experience for me is intensely intimate, just me watching anonymously as you and your lucky opponent tear into each other in the illusion of privacy. But it’s obviously not that private on your side of the camera. Is the crew behind the scenes distracting?

Brook: Those two matches were done with the minimum crew to get a great shot, but they had a lot more than I’ve had in the past to allow the match to really proceed as naturally as possible, the only reason I agreed. That and the fact that they offered me some choice beef and I was a hungry mutt [laughing].

1608_lg — Brook loved a heaping serving of Tony Vencini in Mat Brats 2

Bard: Sounds fantastic! I can’t wait. When you have your pick of choice cuts, what sort of beef do you like sinking your teeth into?

Brook: I’m pretty omnivorous. It’s just got to have a lot of fight in it or I sate to fast and lose interest.

Bard: Clearly you like to play with your food. Fuck, I’m getting hungry. I’ve always wanted to tell you that I think your ink is sensational. The color is stunning and the artwork looks amazing. And I love where it travels around your gorgeous body. Is there any special story about it?

Brook: I knew I wanted it and the placement to be where I could show it or hide it depending on the shorts I chose, etc. I found an amazing artist in NYC shortly after the ban on tattoo parlors had been lifted, since WWII. He had a place in the Hotel Chelsea, I used to go there and hang out and soak up the local color and history of it and we met. He was able realize in ink what I had in my head and 49 hours later (after several sittings), voila.

Bard: It’s incredible. The way it curls around your thigh and up your back brings wrestling to my mind.

Brook: Thank you, that’s very kind.

Bard: So you possess such a distinctive look- do you ever get stopped by guys who recognize you from your wrestling?

1502_lg — Outstandingly good, but not too good to be true

Brook: I haven’t ever be recognized on the street. I have been recognized on some of the wrestling match up sites. It usually works against me though and it’s assumed I am a fake profile. So it works against me more than for me, lol.

Bard: I could understand guys thinking you have to be too good to be true. But oh, the cruel irony if they pass you up! Have you ever done any pro style ring wrestling?

Brook: I have, I really enjoy it. It’s fun bouncing boys and myself off the ropes.

Bard: I could easily see you in the ring! There’s something about a pro ring that makes everything larger than life. I hope we see you in the ring for public consumption sometime. So what’s a typical gym workout for you?

Brook: I try to do a split work out, four days on, one day off. I’ve really been concentrating on my cardio lately so it’s five days a week. Now cardio can of course be various things from running to throwing down on the mat, I try to keep it creative.

Bard: Yeah, I can think of a lot of fans, including me, who’d love to be part of that cardio! What does a typical date with Brook Stetson look like?

Brook: Old School. Something where we can actually speak and get to know one another. A meal is good, walk on the beach, a fun activity like go-carting, hiking. Never shy away from some sort of physical activity. I want to get to know the person, test chemistry, and compatibility. A kiss or several is a must, everything is built from there. If it’s sub par, it’s never going to happen. It’s something that is ingrained and instinctual, it cannot be taught.

Kissing featured in Brook’s early career Sex Wrestling 3 match for Zeus with Dane Tarson.

Bard: Even though it can’t be taught, I feel like taking notes and studying diligently. I definitely feel like the kiss is make or break. And guys not into kissing need not apply. Have you ever dated someone you’ve wrestled?

Brook: Yes, both on camera matches and off.

Bard: That sounds like a ton of sensational chemistry, if things are firing on the mats and on one of those dates you described! Are there any wrestlers you haven’t had a crack at that you’d like to meet on the mats?

0603_lg — Mason Brooks makes the short list

Brook: Gareth Thomas, Kayden Keller, Mason Brooks, Kid Karisma, Matt Thrasher, Chance LaChance, Blue Rage, Cal Bennett, Ace Hanson, Van Skyler, Vasily Volkov……. It’s starting to become a long list, and don’t even start me on past roster wrestlers. WOOF!

Bard: Woof, WOOF! That’s a damn fine list! A little something for everyone. I’ve had a hard spot lately for some heel on heel match ups, so so many of those would scratch that itch so good! And don’t even get me started on how hot I’m getting thinking about you digging in deep on some of those pretty boys. Yum! I’d pay double for pretty much everyone of those match ups. In addition to the upcoming NK shoots, are we going to see you hit the mats on camera more in the future?

Brook: If the right cuts of meat are dangled and I’m hungry, yes!!!

Bard: Well, I just happen to have a couple hunks from your top pick list on speed dial, so I’ll be letting them know immediately that they are on the menu! For all of us twisted fucks with a Clark Kent erotic wrestling fantasy who have keyed into your brand of brutal physical domination, anything else you’d like to say to your avid fans?

Brook: On the mats, in the ring, or in life. Stay hard, ready, and real. And don’t forget…..I’m also just a guy, standing in front of a man, asking him to wrestle him [laughing].

Bard: [Laughing] I can guarantee that as long as you keep wrestling like you do, there are a whole lot of us who will stay incredibly hard. And if you keep paraphrasing Knotting Hill to such perfection, you’ve got a lock on another Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month title as far as I’m concerned. Thanks for being open to doing an interview!

Brook: I still think you are overestimating my appeal, but you’ve been incredibly kind and flattering. It’s been a lot of fun and very thought provoking. Thanks a lot, Stud.

Bard: My pleasure!

Apparently

May 24, 2016 wrestlebard7 Comments

Much has already been written about BG East’s recent Demolition 10 match featuring Ty Alexander and Guido Genatto. I’m not sure that I have a lot more to add to the conversation, but it’s an important conversation to have, so let me add not more than about two cents worth. Also, Ty is one of what Joe has referred to as my personal homoerotic wrestling boyband, and I always want to promote my favorites.

Alex Miller at The Cave wrote the definitive review of the initially released match, including raves for the sensationally sexy execution of a totally over the top domination match. Alex also had more pointed critical comments of Big Daddy Guido’s choice of mid-match taunts, which apparently veered persistently toward the homophobic end of the pool.

I always endorse taking a look at things from multiple angles.

I say “apparently” not only because there’s a running bit about the word in the match, but also because I’ve only seen the post-production edited version, after which BG East staff, including Kid Leopard himself, took a closer look at the text and agreed that the slurs took a decidedly politically unaffirming turn. Staying true to their pro-gay raison d’etre, the final release of this match has a few moments of carefully muted audio that a sharp ear can note. However, if I hadn’t read Alex’s review, I wouldn’t have known that specific reason for it.

So my comments are mostly about the post-edit, though I will say that I think Alex, other fans who reflected on the topic on his blog, and Kid Leopard all deserve a ton of respect for having what could be a difficult conversation about the wrestling that turns us on. I stopped watching some gay-targeted wrestling companies years ago for repeatedly charging headlong into a “smear the queer” type of storytelling. I also freely admit that I have quite a bit of ambivalence about companies like MDW that similarly dip their toes in those waters, but after a similarly ethics-forward conversation I had with Muscle Master Kevin at MDW, I’m pleased that they have begun more carefully targeted and labeling their products for the gay fans who get off on gay bashing (which I will never understand), and gay fans who get off on wrestling.

Guido’s dialogue even in the post-edit is angry, aggressive and intentionally provocative. “Have you even gone through fucking puberty yet?!,” he taunts Ty the moment he sees him. In one of a few long, deep, intimate face-to-crotch headscissors, Guido acknowledges what you and I (and Ty) are seeing in sharpest focus. “Take a good look at that,” Guido orders the babyfaced beauty with his nose jammed into the massive heel’s balls. “You like those red trunks, huh? My fucking hot sausage looks good in those trunks, huh?” The fact that Guido names the obvious homoeroticism of this fabulous hold stirs something deep down in me. “Smells like fucking testosterone!,” he barks, “like a real fucking man, not a little fucking twink!”

My hunch is that the editor’s finger on the mute button had to get lively not long after this. Personally, some of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers are twinks. I think Ty may be the twinkiest babyface in competition these days. And the roaring narrative of a big, hairy bear crushing a lightweight twink and demanding to be called “Daddy” is golden. Twink isn’t a problem for me as a term, at all. But Guido certainly seems like he could be escalating the taunts rapidly at this point in the match.

“More fucking meat than you can handle.”

The sexual innuendo is thick in Guido’s endless, taunting monologue. “That’s right,” he growls as Ty struggles to pry his smooth, tenderized body off the mat. “Get on your hands and knees, bitch! That’s just where I fucking want you!” Guido alternately sounds like a gay hardcore porn star and a seductively empathic lover, switching back and forth in an awesome mindfuck for a dazed plaything like Ty. “How does that feel,” Guido suddenly asks, like he’s interested, as if he’s pounding for his own pleasure but suddenly wants to make sure he’s tickling Ty’s prostate just right. Then, back again to the hardcore porn side, Guido snarls, “I’m going to fucking stretch you out like a little hole!” Grabbing his own crotch and giving it a hearty tug, Guido muses, “More fucking meat than you can handle.” Then there’s a half second mute that you have to be sharp to catch.

I’m happy that BG East is on it and committed to lifting up gay men, and perhaps I should feel more ambivalent knowing some of the backstory of this match, but I’m don’t. Ty looks sweet enough to eat with a spoon. Sure, he’s in my boyband for a reason, but he’s lean and lush and if he sold his wailing, writhing, terrorized suffering an ounce less, Guido wouldn’t be half as terrifying as he is. Screaming with his face stomped underneath the heel’s big boot, whimpering helplessly in a tree of woe, and most of all, hung out to dry gorgeously in Guido’s torture rack, Ty is an incredibly tasty morsel.

And Guido is a bear daddy fantasy man. He works up a lather of sweat that makes his fantastically bulging muscles glisten hypnotically beneath his thick coat of fur. He’s a raging beast, filling the role of unstoppable dominator like the pro he is. When he straddles Ty’s chest with the Toy Boy hanging in that tree of woe, and then slides his hips backward to cock pin Ty’s smothered face, despite what my gaydar tells me, I’m momentarily convinced that the taunts and insults are just the particular brand of foreplay that works that aforementioned meat into action.

The whole brutalizing catch weight bully match is a time honored genre of course, but I have to muse about more novel homoerotic wrestling narratives where my mind wanders. For whatever boundary crossing he engaged in pre-edit, could there be any finer retribution than to have Guido slated to face my entire boyband of babyface beauties who have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that hot, sweaty, naked wrestling action turns them on? That’s right, Guido in the middle of the ring, still all strut and swagger, but with an unmistakable note of apprehension with the four corners populated by Ty, Drake, Kayden, and Mason. I have no idea of Big Daddy Guido is secure enough in his sexuality to be quadruple teamed by the unapologetically gay-positive wrestlers who never fail to delight me without qualification. But that, I would like to see.

Roguish Irreverence

February 26, 2016 wrestlebardLeave a comment

While it’s true I haven’t been able to post regularly lately, I have, nevertheless, been enjoying hot new homoerotic wrestling. BG East’s catalog 112 landed late last week, and I am a happy, happy camper. There are whole lot of gems here to marvel at and obsess over. Possibly inspiring the most intrusive erotic thoughts in me is catalog coverboy Mason Brooks facing off against Best Butt winner 3 years and counting, Kid Karisma in Gazebo Grapplers 18.

Mason enthusiastically faces that award winning ass!

It should come as little surprise that this match grabs me hard, since I’ve extensively documented my erotic infatuation with and genuine appreciation of both of these sensational hunks. I feel like Mason shows us something new, something honest and self-disclosing about himself in every match. And Kid K is the very definition of a fantasyman juggernaut. So pitting and unstoppable muscle hunk against an erotic wild card like Mason is instant chemistry.

I’m sucked in instantly as the cameras roll, because Mason is visibly, audibly, obviously into Kid Karisma. Have we ever seen Mason at a loss for words? Well facing the ginger Tom of Finland physique star come to life, Mason stutters and stammers awkwardly confessing how excited he is to get to wrestle Kid K. I don’t know how it’s possible that we don’t see more genuine corporal appreciation to start homoerotic wrestling matches like this. There’s so much bluster and psychological warfare, we seem to seldom witness an honest moment of one wrestler checking out the divine physique of his opponent and actually blushing with desire. My read is that Mason is pretty much gagging for it as his eyes soak in every bulging inch of the karismatic one, and for that, Mason instantly transports me into that gazebo with him.

And anyone with a passing familiarity with Kid Karisma’s work knows that the magnificent muscleman has an ego every bit as spectacularly bulging and bursting at the seams as his muscles. So adding to the authenticity of the moment is the quite obvious ego stroke he gets when he recognizes Mason is a fanboy. Again, who wouldn’t be tickled to see his opponent soaking in the sight of him with obvious erotic desire? And there’s something very Tarzan about the way Kid K starts the whole thing off by snapping Mason up across his shoulder and parading him around the Gazebo. Then there’s something very, very, very Mason about the way that Brooks, even hanging upside down and appearing so clearly in the complete control of his opponent, calmly latches his fingers around Kid K’s balls and squeezes the musclehunk to his knees with a whimper.

As I’ve said often, I like my homoerotic wrestling with extra helpings of homo and erotic, so this match punches all my buttons hard. We knew about 4 seconds into this thing that Mason was enthralled with Kid Karisma’s body, but it takes Kid K little longer than that to signal that he is abundantly aware of precisely Mason’s assets that have made me a fan all along. The intensity with which Kid K rides Mason’s sweet ass, grinding his crotch slow and hard between those cheeks, is unmistakably amorous.

Someone’s either getting fucked or broken in two. Or both.

Both of these studs are master surfers when it comes to riding waves of momentum. I like the elements of stern discipline and punishment that infuse Mason and Kid Karisma’s entire catalogs. So getting to see that passionate delight in both of them go head to head, to watch them both grab advantage and wring the living daylights out of it, makes this a rare gem. The wrestling is brutal, powerful, and dripping with erotic desire.

Mason’s magically magnetic nipples strike again!

It was less than 2 months ago that I made the hard, hard (hard) decision to take the title of my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler away from Kid Karisma and return it to the sensationally sexy waist of bodybuilder beauty Lon Dumont. Just to show you how closely these two are owning me, I’m flipping the script right back around today and watching Kid Karisma mount the throne again as my current top favorite. It doesn’t hurt Kid K’s claim that Lon was not featured at all in this newest catalog. But let me take absolutely nothing away from him. Kid K drives me crazy with his delight in taking possession of Mason’s hot bod. Karisma is fitter, harder, more sculpted and cut than we’ve ever seen him, and seeing a fantasyman like that get so clearly turned on by the moment of wrestling a mouthwatering morsel like Mason is epic.

And lest this start to sound like I’m all about Kid Karisma in this match, I think Kid K owes a very special lap dance to Mason for his hand in bringing out sides of Kid K that I just don’t think we’ve seen before. When all is said and done, I honestly believe Kid K wants Mason’s sweet body nearly as much as I do, and that is first and foremost a testament to Mason. Their roguish irreverence is beautifully matched, exponentiating the erotic talents both hot boys bring to the mat. They irritate each other’s egos just right. The head of steam they both have by time all is said and done is scorching hot.

This is a homoerotic match where you don’t have to read between the lines.

At the end of this match, one bare assed beauty conquered, the other huffing and puffing at the effort it took to beat him, there’s the perfect end to a homoerotic wrestling match. The winner strolls off, calling the loser to follow him to enjoy the real spoils of homoerotic warfare. And the lucky, lucky loser eagerly climbs to his feet and obeys.

Returning to the top of my list of very, very favorite homoerotic wrestlers is sensationally sexy Kid Karisma!

Ring Virgin

September 9, 2015September 9, 2015 wrestlebard2 Comments

The first match on BG East’s new Florida Fights 5 compilations stars 2 friends of this blog, Ty Alexander and Mason Brooks. Well, let’s get real. The stars of this match are Ty’s bubble butt and Mason’s magnificent pecs topped off perfectly by his luscious nipples. At least, those are the elements that invariably hold my attention when either of these beautiful boys wrestles, and once again, that ass and those nips do not disappoint.

Frankly, honestly, I was marginally skeptical when I pushed play. For one thing, Mason is a standout mat wrestler with sensational amateur wrestling credibility, but we’ve never seen him set foot in a ring before. Translating mat excellence to ring success is tough (just ask beefy newbie Adam Atom). More than just tough when it comes to tallying victories, it’s tough for a lot of guys to adapt to the geography and scale of the ring. Engaging ring action is 3 dimensional, with as much drama and sell happening on their feet and in the air as on the mat. It demands more movement than the tight confines of, say, the Wrestle Shack or the BG East mat room. If everything happened scrambling on hands and knees in the middle of the ring, I’d think of it as a waste of a ring. And particularly a waste of ring ropes, turnbuckles, and that sensational liminal space just beyond the ropes where audacity and lawlessness exponentiate the potential of a ring match into those homoerotically thrilling elements of psychological domination, humiliation, and sadistic brutality. Of course, Ty’s been learning the ropes of ring wrestling since his debut with BG East, quickly turning into a very popular jobber with a beautiful booty and a sensational sell. But pitting him against a ring virgin like Mason could have produced a disappointing mismatch in both the sell and the exploitation of all that ring wrestling can offer to a homoerotically turned eye like mine.

h0119_lg — Mason can take possession of that ass on the mat at any time.

And then Mason does what Mason does, and I’m instantly so fucking into him! Of the things that I love about Mason, his sharpness has got to be at the top of the list. Well, right underneath his nipples. But that smirk and his Philosophy 404 approach to mat banter and taunts turn me on so damn delightfully. By all rights, Ty should be the upperclassman here. And he tries to pull out the thump-the-newbie card as the match unfolds, “teaching” Mason a collar and elbow start. But someone, and I’m guessing his initials are “KL,” has clearly been tutoring Mason in making the jump into the ring smooth as silk, and there’s just no denying the hot, heart pumping delight of Mason hazing the fuck out of his slack jawed, beautifully assed opponent.

h0504_lg — Mason’s got a handle on what fans love so much about Ty.

“The Boss tells me that I should give you a work out in the ring,” Mason explains when Ty is perplexed to find this mat expert perched atop a turnbuckle waiting for him. “Wait, did he say ‘work out,’ or ‘work over?'” Mason smirks, hopping off the turnbuckle and approaching the notorious jobber. Ty’s assets are both obvious and easily underestimated. If you follow him on Facebook, you know that he’s been on a terror lately to build muscle mass, to increase his stamina, to button down his smooth core in order to be taken more seriously in the ring. He’s so pretty, it’s little wonder he’s been feeling the need to square off some of his round edges a bit. But his fans love him because he wrestles all in. He’s thrown his body fearlessly in the way of seasoned heels twice Mason’s size, and he suffers with that authenticity that grabs you by the base of the balls. Yeah, fans love the smooth, pretty preppy crushed and spoiled. And his ass. Fans really love that ass.

h0103_lg — Mason is “starting to get the hang of this.”

There’s a little narrative around Mason demonstrating he can spank that ass at will with classic amateur wrestling, inspiring a pissed off Ty to challenge the ring virgin to wrestle like a pro. The moment Mason bounces off the ropes and nearly rips Ty’s pretty head off his neck with a full speed clothesline, it’s clear that although Mason may be a ring virgin, he’s well lubed.

0108_lg — Mason knows what the ropes are good for.

My favorite exchange in the epiphany of Mason completely owning the ring and his opponent’s ass is when Ty is spitting mad with his arms tied up in the ring ropes. Mason takes his time, which could just be that novice need to think it through, but manages to turn the simmer up to a roiling boil in my crotch. He punches Ty’s gut, checking out how that fitness regimen is coming along. Along the way, he tugs heartily at Ty’s red trunks to multiply the impact of his fists pounding viciously into the kid’s gut. Fuck, I love the trunk pull gut punch. Fuck, I love that Mason picks that up like he’s been tying chumps in the ropes and yanking on their trunks for decades.

0118_lg — “What do you think of my chest?”

But then Mason shoves his mouthwatering (literally, I’m wiping drool from the corners of my mouth just writing about it right now) pecs in Ty’s face and smacks down some super sweet muscle domination. “What do you think of my chest?” he asks. I don’t think Ty answers him, but I can’t be entirely sure because I’m shouting at the screen, “I fucking love your chest, Mason!” Soaked in sweat, he humiliatingly drags Ty’s pretty face back and forth across his beautiful pecs. “Do you want a chest like mine?” Mason asks the would be gym bunny. Ty is impotently furious, tied up and forced to be Mason’s plaything. The only thing that could make this moment hotter would have been for Ty to have been forced to suck on one of those priceless doubloons Mason calls his nipples.

0518_lg — Mason stays on script like the pro he is.

There’s a sensation pairing here of Mason’s unhurried, scientific sadism and Ty’s increasingly unhinged, panicked agony. As we’ve seen in his mat work, Mason is chill even as sweat pours down the crevasse between his worship-worthy pecs. How is it possible I can’t find a vial of that perspiration on eBay? There’s a calmness about him that compliments his relentless, savage torture to perfection. But as any fan knows, it takes a bitter, frustrated, increasingly terrorized until finally screaming in agony and complete submission sort of opponent to truly exploit the homoeroticism of this type of match. Ty is losing his shit even as Mason is beating it out of him with total control and fabulous presence.

There’s a sleeper to seal the deal, but before that is my second favorite moment in this match, when Mason hoists his toy across his shoulders and parades Ty around the ring. I don’t know if Mason thinks of the rack as his signature hold, but I’m beginning to. It shows off everything that’s so right about Mason’s body, while driving home that most homoerotic of plot points, signaling that one ambitious young hunk is now completely under the control and at the mercy of his opponent. Mason’s sweet pecs glistening with sweat. His dapper dan haircut matted across his forehead. Ty’s bronzed body hanging limply, his arms bobbing up and down as Mason shifts his weight from foot to foot. It’s not quite as tasty as the same maneuver applied to Drake Marcos when both studs were stripped naked in Passion & Punishment. But the same hold set within the context of the pro wrestling ring is definite value added for me.

What I’m left with at the end of this match, other than an empty water bottle and a hot shower, are two things. First, we know for a fact that young Ty, while a phenomenal jobber, can at least at moments hold his own in the ring. I hope we see Ty in fewer squashes, against more opponents with whom he can show off what those meaty thighs can do and that boatload of brutal beatings has taught him. Second, there will remain a shadowed corner of sadness in my soul until I get to see Mason Brooks climb back in the wrestling ring and continue to live into the sensational, personality-forward wrestling character he embodies who has never shined quite so bright as when he was surrounded by ring ropes.

And the nominees are…

February 8, 2015 wrestlebard1 Comment

Mere hours are left for you to register your votes for the 2014 BG East Besties. The last 4 categories I have to reflect on are what I think of as the most dramatic and titillating. Like saving “best picture” and “best actor in a leading role,” I’ve held off on reflecting on these because these mean most to me in any ways. First up, let’s look at those who sold the most compelling characters this year, beginning with nominees for Top Heel.

morganheel — After a bumpy start in BG East his first go a couple of years ago, Morgan “the Mastodon” Cruise has been a perennial heel. Vicious, merciless, with no regard for life or limb, much less rules or good taste, he’s very on point at all times. His monologues tend to be constant, regardless of his opponent, and I long for new depths of sadism fro him. But he’s got a ton of fans.

guidoheel — Guido Genatto has a boatload of nominations for Best Ring Match, Best Squash, Best Submissions, Best Overall Match. He doesn’t just heel, he obliterates. He’s a steam roller who delights in cheating because, fuck, who’s going to try to stop him? Definition of a heel.

laneheel — Lane Hartley has so much swagger and he’s so damn pretty, he nearly slides out of heeldom when I picture him in my mind’s eye. He’s relentless and deeply sadistic. He takes great pleasure in the screams and tears of his victims.

karismaheel — My reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler Kid Karisma drips with contempt, supremely confident that his muscle and might will roll right over every victim placed in his way. I don’t think of him as a dirty tricks wrestler, because he’s just so fucking dominant, why would he need to rely on cheating? Sadistic as shit, yes, but the top heel?

thunderheel — Cage Thunder is a top shelf heel at all times, even though his appearances in 2014 were scarce. The mask, the body, that awesome cock… everything about him is perfectly tuned to inspire terror. He did what he does fabulously, but with just one match on the books this year, will he claim Top Heel of the year?

Shockingly, the reigning Top Heel the past two years running, Jonny Firestorm, was absent from this year’s slate. Was Jonny’s work somehow less dominant, less dastardly, less sadistic? With him suspiciously out of the way, however, someone is definitely taking the crown for the first time. I’m leaning toward Guido because of both quantity and quality of his matches. His trash talk alone is terrifyingly hot, but his muscle domination and indy pro heel superiority are absolutely soul crushing. I’m guessing fans will break his way or possibly Morgan’s. I think Cage Thunder is a long shot this year solely because he didn’t put up more evidence of his heel mastery in 2014, but he very well could be the sentimental favorite of long-time fans.

Top Jobber is crazy competitive this year. I would argue a jobber is not someone who just gets squashed, but someone who sells that he whole heartedly believes he has a fighting chance, even mounts some offense and keeps the suspense building, but sooner or later, inevitably goes down in crushing defeat. A jobber isn’t a pushover. He’s not a joke. He inhabits a full story arc, even if the outcome is as certain as the sunrise. You and I know a jobber is doomed from the start, but he doesn’t. Let’s take a look at the contenders for this nuanced category.

tyjobber — Ty Alexander has been a house on fire his debut year. I think he’s a clear frontrunner for Debut of the Year, and he quickly developed the narrative of his legitimate skill and enthusiasm doomed to be crushed under foot. At times I wondered if his masochism was too far in front, if he wanted to be beaten so bad that he collapsed the suspension of disbelief. But he assembled an army of fans who I’m sure are behind him (because the view is so damn fine from back there).

kirkjobber — I got harassed for discounting Kirk Donahue’s qualifications to be in the Best Butt contention, so I realize I may be asking for it again when I say that, although he made my crotch stir hard with an epic sell jobbing in 2014, it was just one match. The suspense lasted about 17 seconds before Guido was grinding the kid into pulp, which he sold like a champ, but still, was it enough to say he was Top Jobber for 2014?

jjjobber — Jake Jenkins carries so much water at BG East it’s amazing. Total top tier, multi-award winner babyface, he took major beatings in the ring in 2014 establishing a fantastic claim to be considered Top Jobber. Ignore his mat work. That’s a whole different JJ, and BGE deploys their boys in different genres with entirely different aptitudes. In the ring, though, in those “beat me” American flag trunks, he was an incredible jobber.

ofcourseajobber — Drake started the year first jobbing hard for Mason Brooks and then getting pissy with me for admiring what a hot jobber he is. The handsome jobber fucking HATES being called a jobber, which somehow merely makes it only that much more certain that he’s such… a… JOBBER. To top it off, after searching the ranks of bloggers to find someone he can finally beat, he still ended up in a tree of woe with my heel grinding into his defenseless chest. What a jobber…

kipjobber — Kip Sorell is one tasty muscle jobber. His claim to Top Jobber seems clearer than his contention for Top Babyface, as I mentioned earlier. However, I’m not entirely sure Kip honestly believes at any point leading up to or during any of his matches that he has a snowball’s chance in hell. That makes him blur somewhere between a doomed character in a Greek tragedy (aka, a jobber) and a helpless victim of a mugging/attempted rape (aka, a farce). Fans love him every time he suffers hard, though.

Tough call, with a ton of blurry lines depending on exactly what you think and feel about jobbers in general. Two-time winner Rio Garza was not nominated this year, leaving the field open for a first-timer to be guaranteed the crown. With the fond memory of him out cold, stripped naked, and with his trunks stuffed down his throat in the middle of the ring after coming face to face with a certain blogger, though, I have to punch Drake Marcos’ ticket (once again) for Top Jobber. I think his biggest competition for this one is Ty, with the difference being, in my mind, mainly the certainty that Ty would love to be Top Jobber, while Drake would hate it. Paradoxically, I think that gives Drake the edge here. Long shot I think is JJ, mostly just because some people will vote for him regardless what the category is. He’s so complex, though, and you have to partition out his mat work to fully justify him as Top Jobber.

Hottest Liplock may not be a category others think of as the top tier choice to make, but I fucking LOVE this category. Like “Best Submissions in One Match,” the context isn’t entirely clear. A particular liplock? Perhaps not, since the nominees are just matches. I love wrestling liplocks, though, so however you slice it, I’m so into this category.

drakelip — Babyface Brawl X was sexy as hell and a fantastic concoction of bitter aggression and full on sexual arousal, which is one of my favorite formulas. Drake and Ty were fighting for victory, for dignity, and most of all, for Drake’s trunks. Some of the hottest liplocks are NFSW, but every one left me wondering whether it would be interrupted by more bitter fighting, which makes everyone of them hot, hot, hot.

rosslip — Wrestle Shack 18 was full of full on homoerotic wrestling lust between Gabriel Ross and Christian Taylor. This was a fantastically sexy pairing, with tons of value added for the stark contrasts between their bodies. Christian is reigning kissing champion of BG East in my book, but I don’t know if Gabriel was as convincingly committed to the liplocks.

treylip — Holy shit Trey Dixon and Skip Vance were on FIRE by the end of their Gear Wars 4 match. How no penetration appeared on camera is a mystery to me, because Skip’s rod is visibly throbbing and Trey looks like a starved man sitting at an Old Country Buffet. This particular jockstrapped, cock-sitting, body-scissors-oh-fuck-it-let’s-suck-face moment brings a tear of ecstasy to my eyes every time.

kaydenlip — Raunchy Rookies 7 saw the seismic double debut of Kayden Keller and Ty Alexander, putting up one of the sexiest, most explicit, fully erotic wrestling matches I’ve ever seen a rookie (much less two) manage. Kayden looks like he could eat the face off of adorable Ty, but the corporal domination leads ultimately to merely a double explosion in the middle of the ring. Sizzlingly hot liplocks, particularly once the gear is stripped.

masonlip — Pain & Punishment 1 has locked down a boatload of nominations all over the place, so yet again consider the fine eroticism of Mason Brooks squelching Drake Marcos’ screams of anguish with an intoxicating liplock. Not nearly as many liplocks in this bitter, bitter feud as for other contenders, but the aggressive, dominating, domineering face suck is enacted to perfection.

So many fantastic liplock moments that speak to the very heart of what moves me most about homoerotic wrestling! If I could vote for all of the nominees, I would, because they all rocked me dizzyingly hard. Just one, though? Fuck. It’s razor close between Babyface Brawl X and Gear Wars 4. My vote finally goes to the homoerotic jobber wonder twins, Drake & Ty, whose Babyface Brawl X was incredibly innovative and pushed the envelope in all the right directions. I have no idea what the majority will vote for in this category. I won’t be surprised for whoever wins, though I’m pulling for the jobber wonder twins.

Now for Best Overall Match of 2014…

guidobest — Guido Genatto once again complicates the field with two entries, first for Demolition 17 against Jake Jenkins. I don’t know if a squash is likely to win because of the constituency that just doesn’t like them, though this one was incredibly tasty.

kirkbest — Demolition 18 found Guido again crushing another jobber like a grape, this time wunderkind Kirk “don’t-discount-my-ass” Donahue. This match definitely made me most genuinely concerned for the life and limb of a wrestler this year. Was it best overall?

treybest — Mat wrestling entries for Best Overall Match include Passion & Punishment 1’s Trey Dixon v Skrapper. Intensely, intimately, shockingly erotic without an ounce of hot, hard, painful wrestling action spared. Incredible match. Totally legitimate finalist for this category.

drakebest — Yet another Pain & Punishment 1 entry is Drake Marcos getting schooled like a stubborn pup by sexy as hell philosopher king Mason Brooks. This match pushed all my buttons a lot. Awesome drama that extended well beyond the narrative on camera. Fantastic wrestling, awesome suffering, sweat, luscious bodies… I’m convinced, but I’m slightly surprised it pulled the nominating committee to include it.

zmanbest — Pretty boy ring feast, Ring Hunks 2 makes a surprise entry here (as far as I’m concerned). Truly a watershed moment to watch Z-Man really come into his own and set the pace, control the tempo, and tell the story (not to mention fucking own every inch of Kip Sorell). Another squash though, making all 3 ring match entries in this category way one-sided. Not judgment on my part, just an observation.

cameronbest — Submissions 9 puts in the last contender with Cameron Matthews and Lorenzo Jake Lowe chaining together one dizzyingly hot hold after another until everyone is coated in sweat (and most of us on this end of the screen coated in other bodily fluids). Highest quality mat wrestling, big egos, energizer bunnies, bitter aggression.

I’m fascinated that all three ring match entries are squashes. That, along with Guido’s double entry, really fucks with my confidence in predicting a frontrunner. My vote is going to Mason and Drake because of several factors, including Mason’s gorgeous naked ass, Drake’s horrified whimpers, bitter trash talk, a gallon of sweat, and the ball rolling that would lead to me snapping Drake’s photo flat on his back under my foot about 9 months later. Extremely close 2nd place for me is Trey and Skrapper. Holy fuck that’s one over-the-top hot, hard fought, insanely sexy match. My barely better than a random guess for the majority on this one is Cameron and LJL, mostly because of Cam’s fan following. I think long odds are on Guido & Kirk.

If you haven’t voted yet, this is your Bard approved final ballot to point your way to where my tastes take me:

Best Abs: Lon Dumont

Best Bulge: Pete Sharp

Best Butt: Kid Karisma

Best Body: Kid Karisma

Sexiest Match: Passion & Punishment 1 – Trey Dixon v Skrapper

Best Mat Match: Passion & Punishment 1 – Drake Marcos brought to whimpering tears by Mason Brooks

Best Ring Match: Tag Team Torture 17 – Dumont/Baynard v Reno/Walsh

Best Debut: Ty Alexander

Top Babyface: Denny Cartier

Best Squash: Jobberpaloozer 13 – Austin Cooper v Leo Tomasi

Best Submissions in One Match: Wet & Wild 7 – Trey Dixon’s face-to-crotch headscissors on Mason Brooks

Top Heel: Guido Genatto

Top Jobber: Drake “damn-it-I’m-not-a-JOBBER!” Marcos

Hottest Liplock: Babyface Brawl X – Drake Marcos v Ty Alexander (aka, the homoerotic jobber wonder twins)

Best Overall Match of 2014: Pain & Punishment 1 – Drake Marcos sniveling and choking like a jobber punk beneath Mason Brooks

And the nominees are…

February 7, 2015February 7, 2015 wrestlebardLeave a comment

There’s been some confusion about the BG East Best of 2014 poll. For the record, it is still open, and will remain so until midnight tomorrow night, February 8. You can find the poll through the homepage by clicking on the “All 2014 Releases” button and then clicking the poll banner at the top of the page, or simply click here to go to the poll directly.

Let’s take a look at a few more categories. What defines a babyface is fiercely debated among some wrestling fans. When I’m thinking of babyfaces (which is often), I’m picturing a wrestler who is eye-catchingly beautiful, earnest, optimistic, trusting in the rules of wrestling and human decency to make the wrestling ring an honest to god contest of strength and technical skill. A babyface is stoked to be cheered and admired. He expresses contempt for vile evil doers who take short cuts and disregard rules and good sportsmanship. As I look at the field of BG East Bestie nominees for Top Babyface of 2014, that’s the standard I’m holding up to each of this sizzling hot leading men. Let’s take a look at who’s in the running.

kipbaby — Kip Sorell certainly has “dazzlingly beautiful” down to perfection. He’s also earnest and eager. Kip jobs so blindingly fast, it’s hard to tell exactly what his take is on things like “rules,” because he’s typically flat on his back and reeling within seconds of the start of a match. He does wear white to perfection, though, which seems very true-to-babyface.

zachbaby — Zach Reno (left) surprises with yet another appearance in the 2014’s poll, despite only appearing in one match (and a tag team bout, at that). He clearly made a huge impression, and he’s already making fans swoon in 2015 with his hairier, hunkier rendition of the same Michelangelo’s David form he showed in 2014. But 2015 is not 2014. Was he best babyface in 2014?

jakebaby — Jake Jenkins has owned top babyface two years running, and he’s back to slap down the opposition yet again. It’s hard to argue that JJ fits the babyface typology to perfection, particularly when he slides that hot bod inside American flag trunks, as he did in 2014. Heroic, earnest, banking on strength, skill, speed, and flexibility to overcome dirty tricks. Hard to beat!

richiebaby — Is it too soon for 2014 newbie Richie Douglas to make a full fledged run for Top Babyface? I’m torn, because the rockin’, ripped boy next door is achingly beautiful, straight up sincere, facing down long odds like a hot jock who’s never heard of a short cut. I think his stock is rapidly on the rise, but has he owned Top Babyface already?

dennybaby — 3-time homoerotic wrestler of the month Denny Cartier makes me weak in the knees with his dimpled chin, bulging pecs, and full frontal offense. Has he ever, ever even bent a rule or been anything less than aggressively sportsmanlike? He’s not superhuman, but he’s somehow intensely, potently, powerfully, vulnerably human, heroic, and gorgeous.

For me, this category comes down to the tried and true, solidly developed babyface characters of Jake Jenkins and Denny Cartier. I think JJ’s momentum and unblinkingly fanatic fan base makes him the top contender for the popular vote, but my personal vote is finally leaning Denny’s way. JJ has an edge to him in some matches, a cocky, smirking, I’ll-go-as-low-down-as-you-dare-me-to attitude, whereas Denny just clenches that Clark Kent jaw and dishes out due respect almost every time. And in 2014 he had the distinction of taking that upright intensity to introduce Lon Dumont to mat wrestling, including finally getting bulldozed by the notorious pro heel. The dark horse who could defy the odds this year I think may be Kip Sorrel. I’m always a little surprised not to hear more buzz about the living Ken doll, so I’m wondering if there’s a silent majority out there just waiting to make Kip upend JJ.

Now let’s turn our attention to the category of Best Squash. This is a category that instantly turns off some fans who just don’t enjoy one-sided crushings. I, however, am not that type of fan. I fucking love gasping, dangerous maulings when both the pitcher and catcher sell it with enthusiasm. I think we have some notable contenders and, perhaps, some surprising absences in this year’s slate.

kirksquash — In Demolition 18, Guido Genatto so overhwlemed newbie Kirk Donahue in his doomed debut that the babyface punk literally tried to crawl on his belly from the ring to escape his brutalizer. Amazing sell. Total squash. Crotch tingling one-sided brutality.

jonnysquash — Jonny Firestorm is tried and true in dishing out squashes, having won last year for grinding jobber Drake Marcos into a pulp (I so know that feeling). This time, he turned his tornado offense on Nicholas Rush in Demolition 17. Classic heel-in-charge Jonny nearly beheading and breaking into pieces long, lean Nicholas. Squash!

flashsquash — Another Demolition 18 match featured Flash LaCash taking pro muscle mayhem to the task of trashing the fuck out of Jake Jenkins. Flash made the most of JJ’s superhuman flexibility and endurance, twisting and tying the unlucky acrobat into some gravity defying holds I’ve never seen before. JJ screams. Flash laughs. Incredibly hot squash.

leosquash — In Jobberpaloozer 13, Austin Cooper literally broke newbie Leo Tomasi’s nose and laughed at the blood trickling out the lean stud’s nostrils. “Dr. Cooper” (as he dubbed himself) decided the medically advisable treatment was to hang the hot rook upside down in a tree of woe and keep on fucking him up. I love Dr. Cooper the heel, and Leo brought out one of the most magnificent crushings from him.

genattosquash — Both Guido Genatto and Jake Jenkins are nominated in other products in this same category, which I think may very well split the votes of their most loyal fans. Guido’s mauling of JJ in Demolition 17 was spine tingling to watch, and Guido treated us frequently with glimpses of JJ’s bare ass with trunk pulls. Sensational squash, but was it best?

Two matches from Demo 17, two from Demo 18, and JJ and Guido showing up in multiple contenders? Very complex field to try to handicap. Personally, I’m going with the one and only non-Demo entry, because Dr. Cooper and Leo Tomasi owned me hardest and truly surprised me when I noticed how hot I found it to see Leo bleed. Dr. Cooper is an incredible heel, perhaps made more so by the distance he’s traveled since his heel turn. Honestly, I’m not sure at all how to predict where the majority may lean in this one with all of the overlaps, so I’m going out on a limb and saying I think the majority (and the hardcore Coop fans) will swing the vote the same way I’m going, with Jobberpaloozer 13. I’m also demonstrating the size of my balls by saying I think Jonny v Nicholas is a serious underdog this year. I have to also note that all of these Best Squash contenders are ring matches from just 3 products. What happened to Passion & Punishment 1, with Mason Brooks spanking Drake Marcos like the naughty boy his is, which may have been the most satisfying squash of the year in my book?

Now for the newest category in the BG East Besties, the vote for “Best Submissions in One Match.” I struggled with the variable construct of this category. It’s not “most submissions,” though I suppose some could vote with that interpretation. It’s not the best “submission” in a match, because the nominees aren’t specific submissions, but the matches themselves. It’s also hard to miss the fact that the nominees for Best Squash line up very closely with nominees for “Best Submissions in One Match,” making me think the nominating committee also lacked a little clarity in the scope and range of this debut category.

jonnysubmission — Jonny is the master of innovative submissions, so I totally buy the entry of Demolition 17, Jonny v Nicholas Rush here. Jonny, indeed, brought his inspiring understanding and mastery of human anatomy to ripping Nicholas apart and tearing one panicked submission after another out of him. This crotch-ripping, knee-wrenching, kneeling toe hold (what the fuck do you call this!?) is stunningly sexy wrestling sculpture. Hot, hot, hot submission.

ljlsubmission — Submissions fly like a flock of sparrows when Cameron Matthews and Lorenzo Jake Lowe bring their deep arsenals of submission holds to Submissions 9. Two of the most accomplished submission wrestlers on the books, Cam and LJL stretch themselves and each other beyond belief. The arch, the bulge, the sweat, the way Cam is ripping apart at least 6 joints simultaneously in this hold is, again, a work of art.

kirksub — Demolition 18’s match featuring Guido Genatto & Kirk Donahue makes another appearance, and there’s no denying Guido “welcomes” Kirk to BG East with a barrage of some of the most terrifying ring submissions ever. I particularly love this choking backbreaker, with Guido leaning his face up close to Kirk’s cheek to hear the newbie gasp out panicked submissions over and over.

treysubmission — Most submissions in one match may, arguably, have to be awarded to Wet & Wild 7, but that’s because 6 wrestlers were involved in every variety and pairing. Trey Dixon and Mason Brooks are specifically called out from this product for the nomination in this category, and I totally agree that these two hot bodied hunks put each other through some of the sexiest submission holds on record. This particular shot of Mason nearly knocked out cold in face-to-crotch headscissors, with Mason going limp right about the time Trey looks like he’s mid-orgasm, is one of the hottest submissions I can remember.

genattosubmission — Guido Genatto played Jake Jenkins’ hot, flexible body like a pipe organ in Demolition 17. JJ’s determination to go up against massively muscled indy pro veterans is hot (and more evidence of why he’s a 2-time Top Babyface winner), and Guido is a maestro of ring submissions. This leg lock, with JJ’s boots trapped against his groin, as backdrop for a neck-breaking chinlock is simply fantastic.

So I’m choosing to dole out my vote for this category based on particular submissions (to be specific, the one’s I’ve highlighted above). If it were “most innovative submissions,” I’d easily vote for Jonny & Nicholas. If it were most terrifying submissions, I’d probably take Guido and Kirk. I’m picking the best submission as in the one that I found sexiest, the one that recurred in my early morning wet dreams, the one that I replayed in real life and in my fantasies most, which was, for me, Trey Dixon’s poolside face-to-crotch orgasmic headscissors. Since the category itself seems spongy to me, predicting a winner is tough, but I’m thinking Cameron Matthews and LJL’s fans will swing this their way. I think the longest shot is Guido and Kirk, both because Guido fans will be split and because Kirk is such a new commodity.

So the Bard-approved ballot as it stands now looks like this:

Best Abs: Lon Dumont

Best Bulge: Pete Sharp

Best Butt: Kid Karisma

Best Body: Kid Karisma

Sexiest Match: Passion & Punishment 1 – Trey Dixon v Skrapper

Best Mat Match: Passion & Punishment 1 – Drake Marcos brought to whimpering tears by Mason Brooks

Best Ring Match: Tag Team Torture 17 – Dumont/Baynard v Reno/Walsh

Best Debut: Ty Alexander

Top Babyface: Denny Cartier

Best Squash: Jobberpaloozer 13 – Austin Cooper v Leo Tomasi

Best Submissions in One Match: Wet & Wild 7 – Trey Dixon’s face-to-crotch headscissors on Mason Brooks

And the nominees are…

February 5, 2015February 5, 2015 wrestlebard5 Comments

The link the the Best of BG East voting disappeared from the BG East homepage, but I swear I saw that you had until Sunday at midnight to cast your ballots. Hopefully, if you’re still undecided, you still have time. And hopefully I can offer this voter’s guide and my personal take on the field in a few more categories. Let’s start today taking a look at the hotly contested and highly controversial Best Body nominees. What makes for “Best Body” has got to be even more subjective than what we evaluate as best body part by body part. Me, I like all sorts of bodies, but when I think “best” I think superior fitness, muscle mass, proportion, symmetry, balance, and that most subjective of them all, beauty. Here are the contenders for Best Body at BG East in 2014.

kkbody — I’ve been explicitly campaigning for months for Kid Karisma to take the title this year, because, fuck, look! All those qualifiers I mention above as my personal criteria are summed up right here in my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler. He’s also making a play for a Best Butt 3-peat, and I’m slightly aghast that he didn’t get a nomination for Best Abs.

Chacebody — For those who like them brawnier, burlier, hairier and with tweezed eyebrows, Chace LaChance is certain to make a strong showing. Interestingly he’s not a nominee for best butt, bulge or abs, but as a total package, he got the nod to join the field.

zmanbody — Also Best Abs nominee Z-Man took the Best Body title last year, after going down to Rio Garza in 2012. I’ll say it again, Z-Man must have an aging portrait of himself in the attic somewhere, because he’s perpetually gorgeous and in top shape.

Calbody — Cal Bennett’s insurgency into the Best Abs and Best Body categories this year is ballsy and stunnning. He’s appeared in exactly 1 product thus far at BG East, but that was enough to get his liberally inked, stunning physique a nod for Best Bod. See my comments from a couple days ago about his body, honey, and my tongue.

coopbody — Goldenboy Austin Cooper (or Dr. Cooper, depending on the day) is dazzlingly beautiful, proportioned, balanced. That pretty face could possibly distract even his die hard fans from fully appreciating the top contender quality of that body. But probably not.

I haven’t been coy about saying for months Kid Karisma’s phenomenal fitness and picture perfect physique deserve the title of Best Body this year. The total package from top to bottom, front to back, in my opinion. I expect Z-Man to be making the strongest play to be at the head of this pack, possibly with Coop making a dark horse late run. If Cal pulls this out, I’m calling it a major upset and a huge bullseye painted on his finely muscled ass if he ever dares to step foot in the ring with any of his more seasoned and tested contenders.

Now let’s look at some of the match Besties. Selecting a photo to highlight a nominee’s claim to take the title for best-of-match categories is daunting. What single still frame captures a claim to make an entire match sexiest, or best on the mats? With humility, I’ve attempted to present some of what I think are the best claims for the following two categories, starting with Sexiest Match of 2014.

rookssexy — Cumming out of the gate hot and hard are Kayden Keller and Ty Alexander in their tandem debut in Raunchy Rookies 7. I think it says something significant to have a double debut be featured in the sexiest match contenders. RR7 burned it up, and win, lose or draw, I have to believe there are many more Bestie nominations heading both Kayden and Ty’s way.

drakesexy — I admit to being slightly surprised to see X-Fights 38’s Drake Marcos v LJL and not see Drake and Ty’s Babyface Brawl X in this category. Nevertheless, Drake and LJL were two of the sexiest X-fighters at BGE this year, and their 38 fight was fucking mean and nasty. They hated each other start to finish, which makes it just that much sexier to see how prominently sexual domination became the story.

militarysexy — Military Muscle 2 is another surprise entry here, as far as I’m concerned. Not because I didn’t think it was scorchingly sexy, but because it was far less sexually explicit than other matches that weren’t nominated. That said, MM2 demonstrates that a match doesn’t need to include cock-sucking in order to be blindingly sexy, and rookie Zion Brown’s gasping adoration of Kid Karisma is convincing and compelling.

painsexy — Pasion & Punishment 1 was the first time I sat up and took notice of Trey Dixon. His pairing here with Skrapper is nothing short of epic. Their confrontation is spilling over with raw, balls to the walls lust from the start, and the sexual tension makes my hard drive melt (seriously, I had to buy a new computer). I had to go back and verify that these two didn’t actually fuck on camera, because the sexual aggression is so damn explicit.

darksexy — Dark Knights 11 with Steven Ponce and Ray Dalton is clearly the choice for muscle fetish leather daddies and their stubborn boys. I’m regretting that Dark Knights 12 wasn’t the DK entry in this category, but it’s not hard to see why nominators gave Ray and Steven the nod here.

This category is a major struggle for me to settle on. My blogger v wrestler match with Drake was not nominated, and of course, other than my personal photographs of Drake’s post-match humiliation, you would be hard pressed to be able to make an informed vote our direction (though, take my word for it, it was sexy). So just looking at those that were nominated, personally, I’m completely torn between Raunchy Rookies 7, X-Fights 38, and Passion & Punishment 1. I know that there are wrestling fans out there that don’t like Skrapper, so I’m guessing Passion & Punishment may be a long shot, but at the end of the day, that’s where my vote goes. I’m also guessing it will be either Raunchy Rookies or X-Fights 38 that may be where the majority goes this time, which I will totally understand. Dark horse in this field I think is Dark Knights 11. I didn’t see a ton of buzz about it, but if the muscle fetish leather daddies snap the collars on all their boys, they’ll double their vote quickly and, potentially swing this their way.

Finally for today I’m taking a look at the Best Mat Battle nominees. This is another extremely tough slate to choose from, but you don’t pay me to dither. Wait, you don’t pay me at all! Oh well, onward and upward…

cammat — Submissions 9 with Cameron Matthews grappling with LJL has got to be a front runner in this category. Cam and LJL are major league mat tacticians, and that and about 2 gallons of sweat and some smoldering bitterness make Sub 9 insanely aggressive and the stuff that no one other than a contortionist should try.

drakemat — Passion & Punishment’s match with Drake Marcos and Mason Brooks makes a compelling argument. Two big egos enter the mat room, but one of them crawls on his belly out of the mat room having been actually tagged with a permanent marker to remind him what a consummate jobber he is. As much as I love watching Drake suffer, even I was worried at times in this match that the philosopher king Mason was going to literally break him… which makes a strong case for Best Mat Battle.

masonmat — But then the drama ensues in the Academy, as Mason is going up against himself in this category, also getting the nod for his work against Skrapper in Undagear 22. These are two of the fiercest mat boys on the books right now, and neither of them is going to concede to losing while conscious. Then again, there’s that anti-Skrapper faction out there.

damienmat — I was only slightly shocked to see Damien Rush and Joah Bindao’s Undagear 21 bout appear in this category. Shocked because I don’t think of it as cream of the crop mat work, but only slightly because Damien Rush getting schooled by a petite muscleman acrobat is always going to get attention. I loved the back and forth in this match. Lots of suspense and bruised egos.

kidmat — But if you’re jonesin’ for bruised egos, I’m guessing your choice very well may be Undagear 22’s match between Ray Naylor and Kid Karisma. Ray fucking HATES Kid K, and you get the impression he hates himself just a little for being unable to resist stroking Kid K’s luscious muscles (see my arguments for his Best Body claim). These two put the hurt on each other big time, and you know it was a special match when Kid K treats the loser to a free strip show after all is said and done.

jakemat — As long as Jake Jenkins is wrestling, I predict he will have at least one nomination in the Best Mat Battle category. He’s typically the master of the mats, but he bites off more than he can chew in Gazebo Grapplers 16, facing down big, beautiful newbie Carter Alexander. The outcome of this match is in question to the bitter end, and that end has got to be described as a stunning upset, so little wonder this shows up as a Best Mat Battle nominee.

Fuck, this is another hard choice. My vote, for what it’s worth, is going to Passion & Punishment’s Drake Marcos versus Mason Brooks. It was that match, and the 3-way interview I conducted with Mason and Drake that ultimately got the whole ball rolling to eventually find myself shutting Drake up with his trunks stuffed down his throat this past Fall. It’s also sweet drama, and watching Mason pick Drake apart, humiliate him worse and worse, strip him naked and leave his indelible mark clearly ignited a ton of fantasy’s-cum-true in me. I’m thinking the favorites in this category may be Cameron and LJL, though, possibly with Ray and Kid K being the dark horse here able deliver an upset.

If you haven’t finished your ballot yet, here’s what the Bard-approved slate of choices looks like:

Best Abs: Lon Dumont

Best Bulge: Pete Sharp

Best Butt: Kid Karisma

Best Body: Kid Karisma

Sexiest Match: Passion & Punishment 1 – Trey Dixon v Skrapper

Best Mat Battle: Passion & Punishment 1 – Drake Marcos gets owned by Mason Brooks

Oscar Time

January 27, 2015 wrestlebardLeave a comment

It’s not uncommon for me to get distracted over the course of a month and forget to sing the praises of my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month as much as I intend. Before January slips away entirely, I just want to sit back and marvel at the Academy Award statue model that we so breathlessly call Trey “Oscar” Dixon.

trey4 — I’ve got spare internal organs I’d give to trade places with Skip Vance right here.

Of course, Trey handily laid claim to the title of HWOTM with his fantastically revealing gear fetish work in Gear Wars 4. The prototypical and quite literal golden boy was bedecked sequentially in metallic gold tights and a luchador mask, a mustard yellow suction packed singlet, perfectly packaged golden designer undergear, a jock strap and, finally, gaspingly, tauntingly, absolutely nothing at all. From fashion show to wrestling ring to wrestling mat, Trey kept my heart racing from start to finish in Gear Wars 4.

trey6 — I make that same face every time I watch this scene from Wet & Wild 7.

“Oscar’s” fairly brief tenure thus far with BG East (or any homoerotic wrestling company, as far as I can tell) displays an impressive aptitude for dominating wrestling and full throttle erotic intrigue. From the pool to the wrestling mat, Trey’s phenomenal physique and hypnotically blue eyes have demonstrated that he can both lull an opponent into lowering his guard and turn around and put a major hurt on him. His work taking Mason Brooks to the very limit in Wet & Wild 7 won him another reign as HWOTM last summer, and when I’m hard pressed for inspiration, his fully flexed bod and orgasmic face applying that poolside face-to-crotch headscissor on Mason absolutely never fails.

trey2 — All sorts of right about the inferno generated by Trey and Skrapper!

It was Trey’s encounter with Skrapper, though, that really catapulted him into the upper echelons of my infatuation. I have occasionally complained about the less than explicit homoeroticism in so much of homoerotic wrestling today. Like a dickslap in the face, Trey’s combat with Skrapper in Passion & Punishment 1 pushed all my buttons at once. Very, very seldom have I seen a rookie so fully committed to bringing sexy to the mat, so much so that I have no trouble at all believing Trey gets it, deep down and hard as bedrock, in a way that I intuit a lot of very entertaining homoerotic wrestlers only approximate. Skrapper also gets it, and I’ve spilled gallons of ink and other fluids on marveling at the hotline he has to my crotch. So no wonder a savant rookie hardbodied hunk like Trey paired with never, ever, ever say die brutalist who gets off on pain of any sort (giving, receiving, hell, I bet just watching) Skrapper pegged the thermometer at too hot to believe. Trey’s stock is sky high and holding very steady in my attention, and I hope we continue to see much, much more of him. And if we do, I’d bet you money he’ll be back on the dais as HWOTM yet again.

trey5 — Jake Ryder samples luscious Trey in X-Fights 36.

2014 in the Rear-View Mirror

December 31, 2014January 1, 2015 wrestlebard4 Comments

Facebook has been offering to package a graphic presentation of how great 2014 was for me. FB doesn’t know shit. Despite ending on a bad note, though, it is certainly true that a lot of great things happened in recently past year. Remembering the best helps put the worst in perspective, so here are my top 10 favorite moments of 2014.

10. In May, Gio Benitez posted a desperately anticipated (by me) shirtless pic. Hot newsboys always grab my attention and stick in my memory, and the dubiously philanthropic fad of dumping buckets of icewater on oneself provided some sweet teases of hot newsboy muscles this year, including Gio and David Muir. But no news was quite so newsworthy as beefy sophomore newsboy Gio Benitez releasing a group photo with him right in the middle showing off his bare, beautiful, meaty pecs.

Jose made sure I also saw this sweet tease Gio released for New Year, with Gio’s muscles pumping and bulging as fellow fantasy man Ryan Hughes “trains” him.

9. In March I enjoyed a novel interview with adorable rookie jobber Ty Alexander all about homoerotic wrestling fashion. It was the first fashion-themed interview I’ve done, and Ty was all earnestness and adorability in dishing out fashion advice and sharing copious photos of his personal collection, both with his bodacious bubble butt in and out of them. Ty continues to impress me as a true native of the homoerotic wrestling universe, and I keep warning Drake Marcos to keep an eye out for this ingenue rising from the fresh meat counter to pick off more established young talents as the young wrestling stud on top of the fan-crush pile. Sure, with Ty it’s all about fashion. And wrestling. And, well, Ty. Just what will he get up to in 2015, one wonders…

8. In May, Clint Morgan sat down with me for a compelling and controversial interview. It should come as no surprise that brutal beast Clint pulls no punches, musing on both the dos and don’ts of the homoerotic wrestling world according to Clint. I’m still praying for that rip-and-strip match between Clint and Tyrell Tomsen to be realized in 2015… in my living room.

7. There are a few wrestlers who I have been angling to interview for a while. Perhaps in 2015 I’ll finally nail down some of those nasty cock teases. But a highlight of 2014 was the reward of tenacity and ingenuity to overcome unusual obstacles and have a thoughtful interview with giant killer Jayden Mayne in October. Hollywood handsome and shockingly brutal, wiry Jayden has plan to beef up and knock the legs out from underneath more big bruisers in the coming year. Cannot wait!

6. In May, homoerotic wrestling fanatic and friend of neverland, Jose, launched his sensational, bilingual homoerotic wrestling blog, La Sustancia P. Jose has carved out a delightful corner of all of the musings about the wrestling we love that’s all his own. The charts and lists and unstoppable powers of deduction bring the art of a homoerotic wrestling infatuation firmly into the realm of science. And science never, ever turned me on as hard as when I’m reading La Sustancia P.

5. August saw the fulfillment of a long-dreamed of moment for me, the on camera appearance of Kid Karisma’s naked ass. The answer of how many times must Kid K win the “best butt” year-end award before those glutes show up unobstructed is 2. In Undagear 22, my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler burned up the mat and crushed and demolished lucky, lucky, lucky Ray Naylor brutally. In a moment of generosity, though, Kid K celebrated his victory by peeling off his sweat soaked undagear and strolling slowly off the mat, bare assed and epically beautiful. I’m hoping this story arc swings into 2015 with actual bare assed, full contact wrestling action from Kid Karisma.

4. Some interviews are the result of begging, pleading and stealing on my part. And then some of my favorite interviews absolutely fall into my lap. When Chuck Flying Tiger Collins dropped me a note appreciating this blog in November, I snapped up the opportunity eagerly. Chatting with the Flying Tiger was like sitting down with an old friend, the back and forth flowing easily. Where I’m often battling nerves during interviews, Chuck had me kicking up my feet and coasting delightfully through the past, present and potential future of homoerotic wrestling. And then I nearly fell off my seat when Chuck sent me a couple of photos of his shirtless self today. Damn, damn, damn, I’m aching to see a Flying Tiger comeback in 2015!

3. In February I saddled up for my first three-way interview, sitting down with both Mason Brooks and Drake Marcos. Coming off of their sizzling hot Passion and Punishment match, I was counting my lucky stars to get to deconstruct their phenomenal confrontation from both handsome hunks’ perspectives. Little did I know I’d have a tiger by the tail in trying to steer both cocky studs through the same conversation. And while I was fully expecting Mason and Drake to throw shade each other’s way, I was sincerely shocked to find Drake irked and annoyed at me, despite my every effort to heap praise and adoration on the world class jobber boy. The interview turned into one of my favorite moments of the year for both the hotness I knew would ensue, as well as the heat that took me entirely by surprise.

2. Speaking of unexpected, my October interview with Shane McCall was simply the hottest interview I’ve ever conducted. I’ve been a slack jawed fanboy of Shane’s from the first moment I discovered BG East. So my heart was already a-fluttering from the get-go when I started talking with him about his epic return to the ring in Catch Weight 6, where he had some harsh words (and harsher holds) for cocky young jobber Ty Alexander. Shane’s retrospective on his early days in wrestling, his insights into the spirit and spirituality of homoerotic wrestling, and his candid thoughts about the near future of the business had me hard, but when Shane sucked me into his big, hairy, bear daddy fantasies, I was literally swooning. I had to hydrate often and towel often even more often, and if you’ve read the interview, it should come as little surprise it was a highlight of my year/decade. Shane also sent me New Year’s best wishes with this photo (above) attached, proving once again he can bend my back across his knee and go to town on my abs any day or night he wants!

1. Hands down my favorite moment of the year was meeting Drake Marcos and climbing into the BG East ring to settle a blogger v wrestler score that was brewing all year long. The whole visit was outstanding, and the entire match, including getting crushed hard between Drake’s crazy sexy legs, was thrilling. But if I had to narrow the whole thing down to that one, distinct, pristine moment that rises to the top, the very best of the best was stepping back to admire the jobber trapped in the ropes, then grabbing my phone in one hand and a handful of Drake’s hair in the other and snapping this keepsake.

So, sure it was “a year to remember” for so many reasons, and even this little jaunt down memory lane turns me on with memories that will surely get me hard for years to come. When it comes to outstandingly memorable moments in homoerotic wrestling blogging, I’d go so far as to say that this one is going to be very tough to beat. But I’m holding out hope that 2015 will have even more awesome, outstanding moments in store. Thanks to all of the fine men who were part of this year’s fun, including all of the hunks who let me interview them, all of my fellow bloggers who kept me informed and motivated, and one particular vanquished buck who proved once again that the pen, and my chokehold, are mightier than the jobber.