Tats Named

Topher worked his ass off to track down the answers to this week’s episode of Name that Tat. If he wasn’t such a smart ass, he’d definitely be teacher’s pet. Oh, what the hell. He’s both a smart ass and teacher’s pet. Nicely done, Topher! Let’s review the research that Topher had to do to pull together 5 correct answers.
Tat #1 indeed belongs to…
Here, Brook’s about to plant his fantastic ass down onto the face of Skrapper in BG East’s Catch Weight 2. The fact that Skrapper didn’t pee his blue trunks the moment he faced-off with this beast makes me seriously respect the skrappy one.

Holy hell, what a catch weight match! Brook’s choice to completely unnecessarily yank on Skrapper’s hair as he squashes him like a bug is just further evidence of why the brute is co-holder of the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month!
Topher had to get a little help from teacher to identify tat #2…
 …which indeed belongs to Can-Am “exclusive” Michael Vineland.
In this pic, Michael is both dominating Landon Mycles and stroking the rookie’s crotch. I made a lot out of Landon’s debut, facing off against Michael in Can-Am’s Pro Sex Fight 1, earning the blue-eyed smirker his own homoerotic wrestler of the month title. Landon also showed up as a prior answer to Name That Ass. But this time around, I’m admiring Michael, his big, hard muscles, and his sweet ink.

That’s right, Landon. Breathe deep and enjoy the view.

Tat #3 gave Topher his toughest challenge, but it clearly belongs to…
Thunder’s Arena’s Jackson.
Despite Topher not seeming to appreciate my additional clues, I indeed have no interest in living in Jackson, Mississippi (though I might enjoy a vacation camping out in Jackson, the wrestler), or in St. Louis, aka STL

You know how there are some intuitive responses we have to wrestlers that we don’t really know where they come from? That’s my take on Jackson.  I was completely fixated on him when he debuted against STL in Thunder’s Arena’s Mat Wars 22, yet Jackson’s double-team partner in that match, Scooter, left me merely luke warm. As for the fratboy with Topher’s “lord and master Jesus inked on his side,” however, I’m a fan.
Tat #4 appears to have posed Topher little challenge.
It belongs to BG East’s stunningly handsome Angelo Damato.
Here, Angelo is in a position that makes me green with envy: trapped between Joshua Goodman’s (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) thighs in Backyard Brawls 3. Angelo’s ass pressed against Joshua’s crotch is the most inspired pairing since  Ang Lee called up Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger and said, “I’ve got a movie for you boys.” 

Of course, Mr. Joshua squirming like a worm trapped between the vice that is Angelo’s tree trunk thighs is awfully entertaining as well.

And finally, Topher appears to have had no problem identifying tat #5 as belonging to…
Can-Am’s Andrew Lane.
Andrew’s brief tenure wrestling for Can-Am seems to have always paired him off with muscle hunk Lincoln Lode. Here, Andrew pins the dark and handsome one with his crotch, displaying Lincoln’s #1 asset to perfection (except for the trunks) in Hotel Hell: Toronto.

Despite a few moments of gloating glory, Andrew almost always played the jobber (and played it well). The bulging muscles and up-for-anything attitude makes me wish that Andrew was still in the biz, so that he could meet my other favorite red-headed homoerotic wrestler, Kid Karisma. After Kid K beat Andrew senseless, they’d surely have made sweet, sweet music together as a fire-cracker tag team.
So there you go. Technically, Topher did require a little extra help, and he didn’t explicitly name all of the opponents. But I’m tempted to offer him the prize for a perfect paper, anyway. What do you think? Does he deserve full credit for his standout performance?

A True Romantic

I’m not into Valentines Day, really. Too much compulsory heterosexuality in the air. It’s NOT that I’m not a romantic. It’s just that I can’t take red heart chocolate boxes and red roses seriously (well, I’m always a sucker for receiving flowers… just something other than red roses, please).

The Enforcer v Blueboy – BG East – Masked Mayhem 4
Even more than the compulsive heterosexuality, there’s something intentionally fictive about Valentines Day that irks me. No one’s relationship, even the most melba toast straight couple, looks like the gooey, saccharine, “you complete me” idea promoted in commercials and greeting cards. There’s something passionless and sterile about the whole production that swings the whole constructed reality of romance toward enmeshment and abstraction and away from physicality. Sure, the morning news shows mentioned men giving lingerie to women as evidence of the link between sex and Valentines Day. But if I were to hazard a guess, I’d say that there’s likely a decrease in the amount of sex happening today, directly attributable to the chocolates-and-roses sentimentality of it all.

Kid Karisma v Len Harder – BG East – Sexy Showdown 5: Florida Fun

Now, if there were a Valentines Day card that said something like, “Show me that you really care: Wrestle me to the ground, pound me into submission, and then shove your tongue down my throat,” well, then perhaps I’d think that this contrived “holiday” has something for me.

Dean Tucker v Drake Jaden – Naked Kombat – 7/22/09

If there were an FTD card that I could send with the orchids that said something like, “First to cum gets ridden like a pony,” that might enhance the romance of the day for me.

Landon Mycles v Michael Vineland – Can-Am – Pro Sex Fight 1

If a date promised me that, for dessert, he’d treat me to an over-the-knee backbreaker, then just maybe I might associate Valentines Day with some sexual passion.

Mitch Colby v Patrick Donovan – BG East – Wrestler Spotlight – Mitch Colby

A jock strap, buckets of sweat, and a schoolboy pin lip lock are a so much more to the point than chocolates and lace and plastic-wrapped shrubbery. I hope today has something truly romantic and passionate in store for all of us, which will have absolutely nothing to do with Hallmark, FTD, or Godiva. It’s not that I’m not looking for romance. I just don’t think it comes to any of us tied up with a bow with the sales receipt in our pockets.

In the Ropes

These days, I’m getting worked over pretty hard. I’m working my ass off, just managing to stay on my feet. And, wouldn’t you know it, just when I find myself backed into the ropes, some nasty heel villain uses those very same ropes to work me over that much harder.
KV v Ken Mason (assisted by KL) – Tag Team Torture 1
Metaphorically, this makes my day-to-day life these days suck. On the other hand, literally, when someone uses the ring ropes to take advantage of an already battered hunk, that does not suck (at least not for the heel or for me, watching). Turning the set into an integral prop to tell the story is, in fact, a major turn on for me, further explaining my particular preference for ring action.
Brigham Bell v Patrick Donovan – Hunkbash 5
Sliced to hell and mean as a king cobra, Brigham Bell pretty much always used the ropes, and most of the time he took full advantage by not only capturing his hunks in the ropes, but then head scissoring them at the same time. Illustrated so delightfully in his ring action with Patrick Donovan, ultra-lean, muscled bodies put on artistic display is the icing on the cake. The cake itself, of course, is the completely gratuitous humiliation of an already suffering hunk. To capture 6’1″ pec-tacular Patrick so defenselessly, so vulnerably, and then to squeeze Patrick’s handsome face humiliatingly between Brigham’s tightly corded thighs… talk about the climax of a story!
Brad Rochelle v Patrick Donovan – Wrestlefest 2
Patrick, Patrick, Patrick… early in his BG East career, Patrick frequently occupied the restraints of the ring ropes. He just suffered so sweetly! It’s no wonder that opponent after opponent reveled in beating him down and then tying him up to not only soak up more punishment, to also have his ego crushed as decisively as his hot, long, gorgeous body. On his way to being awarded Rookie of the Year in Wrestlefest 2 (I vote for more Wrestlefests!), Brad Rochelle slapped Patrick into what I think, objectively speaking, is the hottest bit of ring rope torture ever captured on camera. Hunk-on-hunk, stunning body on stunning body, handsome face squaring off against handsome face, and Brad taking a foreshadowing turn to the dark side to lock Patrick’s throat between the bottom to ropes and then boston crag his legs, sitting his fine (fine, fine, fine, fine) ass down across Patrick’s shoulders to choke him that much more. 

Brad Rochelle v Dom the Dominator – Demolition 3

Brad, Brad, Brad… of course, any regular reader of this blog is already fully immersed in the drama of Brad Rochelle’s BGE career, as his fratboy face and go-go boy muscles went through years of jobbing, suffering like perhaps none other, not infrequently himself trapped in the very same ropes with which he’d humiliated Patrick and won rookie of the year. Dom’s boot in his ass and his back cranked backward over the top rope, Brad’s rope-suffering illustrates what is the tastiest pay off of all with rope work: the stunning body of a hunk displayed so fully and vulnerably.

Rio Garza v Donnie Drake v “Trevor” Mathews – Pro Bashed Triple Threat
I noticed in recent pics from Can-Am’s new (upcoming?) release, Pro Bashed Triple Threat, that Rio Garza is on the receiving end of some tasty hunk rope punishment at the hands of Donnie Drake. This is, perhaps, the best representation of my own subjective experience at the moment. Clearly outmuscled and at the mercy of a nasty, big, brick house bastard, like Rio under the control of Donnie Drake, I’m getting pried backward and pounded on with nothing to do but take it and look pretty (I can pull that off, too).
As I whine, just a bit, about my own woes (I can sell suffering when it’s my turn), I find some comfort in the sight of some beautiful hunks getting tied up and beat down with the assistance of the ropes. Well, okay, so perhaps “comfort” isn’t the word. But it does, somehow, make the nasty heels in my own life a little more tolerable when I spend a little time admiring the aesthetics and erotics of homoerotic wrestling heels taking the picture frame itself and choking the daylights out of the stunning portrait of a musclehunk in the middle.

Porn Sunday

In honor of the excellent concept of Porn Sunday, here are a few retailers that you might consider supporting today…

Billy Lodi v Skip Vance – BGE X-Fights 33

BG East’s X-iest new release is X-Fights 33, pitting twink buddies Skip Vance and Billy Lodi. Billy fiercely conquers and then tenderly rewards Skip. Looking for some mat wrestling, jerks, sucks, kissing and cum to celebrate Porn Sunday?

Sebastian Keys v Jake Austin – Naked Kombat

Naked Kombat’s newest release will treat you to Jake Austin determined not to lose his ass yet again against buzz cut Sebastian Keys. Jake’s fate is, of course, to get owned, spanked, and fucked 5 ways to Porn Sunday.

Landon Myclse v Michael Vineland – Can-Am Pro Sex Fight 1

For my tastes, Can-Am’s X-iest and best new release is Pro Sex Fight 1, starring the wrestling pornboy stylings of previous homoerotic wrestler of the month, Landon Mycles, and Can-Am work horse Michael Vineland. This offers a delightful recipe of pro wrestling, erotic wrestling, and mutually satisfying sex in the middle of the ring.

Trent Diesel v Hugo Milano – Raging Stallion’s Brutal Part 2

If you’re looking for more porn (it is, Porn Sunday, after all) in your porn/wrestling mix, you might want to celebrate the day with a purchase of Raging Stallion’s Brutal. My reigning favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy, Trent Diesel, wrestles and fucks and fucks and fucks, among a non-stop, 2-part, pornboy after pornboy pornfest.

Cody Nelson v Max Powers – Rock Hard Wrestling

Less porn, but no perhaps more up your alley to celebrate Porn Sunday, includes Rock Hard Wrestling (you’d think with a name like that there might be more porn), and their just out release of new Mr. Franchise, Cody Nelson going muscle to muscle in the ring with Max Powers.

Conan v Johnny Bravo – Thunder’s Arena

Or you may want to see some big, big, big muscleboy’s wrestle in less-than-porn fun over at Thunder’s Arena, where Johnny Bravo pounds the bodybuilder pecs of Australian blond bombshell, Conan.

Trent Diesel – Reigning Favorite Homoerotic Wrestling Pornboy

I’m a booster. That’s pretty much what I have to offer, and so I’m fully in favor of a lot of us showing some love to the hardworking boys in front of and behind the camera, bringing us orgasm after orgasm of entertainment by celebrating Porn Sunday with a special purchase, dedicated to our favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboys. No shame. No way.

Wrestling Ink

I think it’s been a while since last I took the time to marvel at the particular pleasures of wrestling ink. While I’m awfully entertained by many of my favorite wrestlers who manage to be a work of art and a blank canvas simultaneouslyl, I continue to nurse a visceral infatuation with tattooed wrestlers.
True, it isn’t Thunder’s Arena wrestler Big Sexy’s tattoos that make me marvel the most. It takes a lot for his extensive and colorful body art to fail to be the most eye catching feature on his fantastic physique. But there’s pretty much nothing that could beat that ass of his, though I, for one, would like to get in line for just that task. As his ass is true to his name, his expansive and gorgeous ink is also both big and sexy. His most recent scrap after calling out devasting muscle hunk, Ace Hanson, is just about the sexiest pairing of wrestling bodies I’ve ever seen.

Another recent Thunder’s match, Mat Wars 22, also has me appreciating some more wrestling ink. Perennial battler Angel is simply stunning for both his beautiful body and the delightful artwork. I’m also intrigued by the sizable crucifix tattooed on the ribcage of new wrestler, fratboy-deluxe, Jackson. Is it sacrilegious of me to note that the crucifix makes me hot to see Jackson suffer even more? Probably. Nevertheless…

Recent BG East matches have also been well-populated with ink lately. Newcomer Hoyt Riley already has a massive quantity  of body art, and it looks like he’s in the middle of getting more. Some outlines ready for shading make me wonder if his beatdown at the hands of Mitch Colby may have provided the down payment for another trip to his artist.

Far less expansive, but still sexy as hell are Jonny Firestorm’s armband and shoulder characters. I’d love to see Jonny both continue to heel and take more ink. Send the pretty, pretty boy rookies to Jonny and the legitimate wrestler rookies to Denny to break in. Denny and Jonny can fight over who gets to welcome the pretty, pretty boy legitimate wrestlers to BGE.

Last, but certainly not least, I’ve appreciated the gorgeous art on Can-Am’s Michael Vineland lately. I’m still a little giddy over his fantastic performance with rookie homoerotic wrestling pornboy, Landon Mycles in Pro Sex Fight 1. I’ve gone heavy on the appreciation of Landon’s performance, including making the pornboy turned “pro wrestler” last October’s homoerotic wrestler of the month for the effort. But credit where credit’s due, Michael accounts for at least 50% of the excellent salesmanship in this match, and he’s bigger and harder than I’ve ever seen him. He’s also got a lot of ink adorning those incredibly sexy, massive muscles of his.

Tag-Team Torture

I’ve been getting more requests lately to collaborate on new wrestling fiction. Teaming up is one of my favorite genres in homoerotic wrestling, so this just seems to have all sorts of great potential.
I’ve been told by someone who should know that tag-team wrestling in the homoerotic genre is pretty difficult to manage. I don’t know if it’s coordinating schedules, having enough time to generate some entertaining chemistry, managing four bodies flying through the ring without any permanent damage… I could imagine any and all of these things could be obstacles to more tag-team homoerotic wrestling products.

And I suppose that some of the same potential pitfalls and obstacles to getting 4 hunks in the ring to tell one story may also have parallels in the work of co-authoring original fiction. Schedules, working chemistry, making sure no one gets a permanently injured ego… the give and take and intrinsic balance required to collaborate and co-author requires finesse. I firmly believe that not everyone can partner up with just anyone. And even when words get on the page, there’s that hard to define element of chemistry that just has to be there or else it isn’t…  All the moving parts might work, but if partners just aren’t in sync, it may just fall flat.

But when it works, teaming up can open up a lot of possibilities that are closed to me when I’m devoted to my singles career (so to speak). Teaming up to take on a big, big project that would probably defeat either one of us alone is a good example. Wrapping our minds and creative juices around a complex, yet hot property to double-team it into groaning submission can be a sweet, sweet victory. Of course the opposite is true as well. When you partner up to tackle the behemoth project and find that both your asses are handed to you in defeat, it can be just that much more humiliating.

Fortunately, my experiences with tag-teaming on writing projects has been pretty fun and, I think, successful. I like to think that I carry my end of the work load and that I’m pretty easy to work with. And so far, the partners I’ve stepped into the imagined ring with have been delightful to team with. When a new collaborator pushes me in a new direction, introduces me to new characters, and brings their own arsenal of innovation and creativity to a project, well frankly, that’s hot. Watch for some of these projects to get polished off with a double-teaming three-count and published to the Sidelineland wrestling fiction site in the coming weeks.

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

After nearly drowning in new releases in September, the crop of October homoerotic wrestling releases from which to pick a homoerotic wrestler of the month is relatively sparse. BG East had an unusual between-catalog release of Donnie Drake’s wrestler spotlight, pitting Donnie against Jobe Zander, Paul Hudson, and Rio Garza. The only real contender for my votes from Naked Kombat this month is Phillip Aubrey’s obliterating squash of Matthew Singer. I think Thunder’s Arena had two October releases, including Z-Man going up against Rambo, and then again in their newest Halloween Havoc release, Z-Man wrestles Big Sexy and Uno wrestles Cage. I’m going to go ahead and toss into the hat Can-Am’s newest releases of newcomer Landon Mycles against Michael Vineland, and yet another Can-Am recycle job of Donnie Drake’s Double Play with fellow BGE alums, Chris Bruce and Rio Garza, even though these two are out only in subscription services so far.

Were there others I should have considered? Let me know (nicely). In the meantime, my personal pick for homoerotic wrestler of the month simply has to be…

Landon Mycles.

So let me be clear that I have more than a little ambivalence about this pick for just one reason: Can-Am TV. That’s the only format that this match has been released in yet. And I hate this format. Of course I love it because it gives me instant gratification, but I hate it because it’s a completely unsustainable pricing scheme (and I do mean scheme). So while I was lured into ponying up 46 cents per minute to watch this match just once, I’m reluctant to promote the release because at this point, I’m also promoting the format. Per minute pay-per-view is not geared toward those of us seriously into our wrestling kink. If I had to pay 46 cents for every minute I’ve watched Brad Rochelle get cracked in half over Jeff Phoenix’ knee, I’d be flat broke. I suppose if you want to browse merchandise that you might be interested in buying outright, the format makes some sense (and I WILL be purchasing this if ever it’s available to buy for real). But I warn you, the minutes fly by and this stuff turns into a nasty, expensive, impulsive habit way too fast for an addictive personality like mine.

That said, Landon Mycles breakout performance against Michael Vineland takes my breath away. He’s a work of art, to start with. Landon’s body is incredibly fit, and his muscles are just perfectly proportioned and toned. He quickly breaks out into a sweet, slick coat of sweat, which always makes swoon. He’s handsome as hell, with a shit-eating grin that makes my knees weak. And he’s all in here, working hard, tossing and getting tossed, and showing some clear evidence of an amateur wrestling background here and there. He moves smoothly, he delights in his moments of owning Michael, and he completely takes me by surprise by selling me his pleasure in getting owned and occasionally worshipped by Michael as well. One particularly haunting scenario (it comes up twice and works both times for me), features Michael snapping up Landon’s leg in a single-leg crab and immediately going to work massaging Landon’s cock. This goes on and on, as Landon teeters on the edge of crying out in pain and groaning with pleasure.

I have to say that Landon does tend to fall into a pattern of what I think of as over/under selling. That is, he may oversell his suffering just a tad (but nothing I can’t live with), and then when he escapes, he suddenly undersells having just moments earlier been on the brink of an excruciating submission. Instead, he pops up with that big, shit-eating grin on his face with 100% suddenly back in his tank, as if he wasn’t just screaming in pain for the past 3 minutes. I think it’s a minor criticism, but it caught my eye repeatedly. Still, this is a breakout performance that’s tailor made to the “grab-ass” sub-fetish I’ve been crazy for lately. These boys are both delighting in each other’s bodies, capturing and being captured, stroking and squeezing, from start to finish. And Landon in particular convinces me that the post-match sex is a sincere climax to the incredibly arousing ring action, which frankly just doesn’t often happen for me (more often it seems to me like the post-match fuck is phoned in). And this is a pro-ring, pro-style erotic wrestling match with an excellent proportion of wrestling kink and final scene sex. So much is going right here, and Landon continues to pop up happily in my dreams ever since I caught this match.

And for that, he’s got to be my pick for October’s homoerotic wrestler of the month.