Stay Hard, Ready and Real

A very special bonus to prattling on and on about homoerotic wrestling the way I do is that occasionally, like a gift from the homoerotic wrestling gods, some magnificent hunk who has inspired my wrestling musings contacts me. Truth be told, it happens more than you know, because about 50% of the time those wrestlers decline my invitation to say something on the record, in their own words. But the other half of such cases are open to letting me toss some questions their way and to share their answers with the readers of this blog.  Happily for you and me, bruising beefcake heel daddy Brook Stetson is in that second half.

Brook stumbled across neverland and found my adoring mentions of him, including when I named him one of my homoerotic wrestlers of the month five years ago for his work working over my long-time wrestling crush, Mitch Colby. We chatted a bit before we went “on the record” for the following interview. Amid so many pretty boys and twinks that get acknowledged on these pages, Brook wasn’t sure he was likely to rank high for neverland readers. Honestly, I found this completely confounding, because… well, fuck, LOOK at him!!?! And if you’ve ever seen Brook wrestle, you know that his brand of raw, rough, powerful, dominating, lustful grappling is precisely what this blog is all about. In any case, what follows is the delightful conversation that unfolded.

Brook Stetson (aka Brad Michaels, Vinny Reno, Clark Kent, Blockhead, The Tick, & American Dad)

Bard: Brook, thanks so much for agreeing to take some questions! I think you have one of the most distinctive looks in all of homoerotic wrestling. Sort of classic cowboy meets comic book superhero (or villain). What heritage produces that phenomenal physique and hypermasculine jawline?

The chin that hits back

Brook: I’m a full on mutt, I have a little bit of everything in the family tree if you shake it out hard enough. I guess on the plus side there is the old adage amongst breeders that mutts are stronger than pure breeds. I used to be teased in the military, being called Clark Kent, when I wore standard issue glasses. I was Blockhead in high school, university, and the Tick and American Dad, since. 

Bard: I could see all of those. I was guessing a mix. Maybe a bit of Greek god, Roman god, Norse god, something like that. You’ve definitely got a face for stopping traffic.

Brook: Well, it is a very hard chin. It has been known to hurt those who land a punch on it.

Bard: I bet! So when you contacted me, you shared what I think may be the best compliment ever. After reading some of my blog you said that I “get it” when it comes to writing about your kink. Can you talk more about what “it” is?

Bull in a China Shop

Brook: That my wrestling, even when just “straight” wrestling, has a combat subtext of primal control, domination, and assertion of sexual superiority. I get off on the emotional, intellectual, and physical struggle of it all. I’m one twisted fuck [laughing].

Bard: Call me “Pretzel,” then, because that makes two of us twisted fucks. I’ve seen a lot of your matches, and I’ve often found myself thinking of you like a force of nature, like the pounding tide or a gale force wind: irresistible and irrepressible. How would you describe your wrestling style?

Brook: Equal parts bull in a china shop, technician, and amateur sadist.

Bard: I can see all of those ingredients. I’ve seen you wrestle big, bruising opponents like Mitch Colby as well as guys much smaller than you, like Skrapper. Is the experience any different for you in a catch weight contest?

Brook: Absolutely, I have a tendency to break my toys so I need to employ more finesse and skill with a catch weight than I do a similar sized victim. Both are a lot of fun but in different ways.

Bard: Are there any matches that stand out for you? Opponents that uniquely tested you, took you by surprise or particularly turned you on? 

Brook vs. Chance Caldwell in Fantasy Fight 11

Brook: Chance Caldwell for BG Enterprise, he had been an Olympic contender in Greco Roman for Czechoslovakia. He really made me use my amateur skills. Mike Adams for NHB Battle and I started to battle often off camera and was some of the most rough fun I have had with a straight boy. Skrapper was a blast because he took a lot of punishment and kept coming back for more; he is lucky I didn’t rape the fuck out of him. Tony Vencini and I had some good combat foreplay that needed more exploring and then one of my favorite jobber toys was Mitch Colby. Let’s just say that what’s played on camera doesn’t scratch the surface of what’s off camera.

Just scratching the surface

Bard: I haven’t seen the Chance Caldwell match but I love him! I have to look that one up. I greatly enjoyed your matches with Skrapper, Tony and your Mitch match was award winning on my blog. How does your wrestling in private compare with what we see that gets published?

Brook: It’s more primal privately. For the camera you have to leave space and time for the camera to follow and capture the shots. I rarely allow that much airspace privately [laughing]. Shooting a match for video is difficult for me because I tend to let my instinct take over and can forget to stay on script. I’m not naturally submissive or tame so I have to really try to capture those traits when needed.

Suffering for long is not something that comes naturally to Brook

Bard: How much direction do you get when you’re taping a match for public consumption?

Brook: Surprisingly, not a lot. I’m pretty lucky in that most of the companies recognize a certain level of skill and chemistry I have with my opponents and let it play out mostly. Usually the direction is slow it down or cheat the shot more towards the camera. I just completed a couple for Naked Kombat where they literally said, you guys just go for it and we’ll try to keep up. Now that was fun!

Bard: You wrestled for NK? Damn, now I’ll definitely have to resubscribe. As an avid consumer, the experience for me is intensely intimate, just me watching anonymously as you and your lucky opponent tear into each other in the illusion of privacy. But it’s obviously not that private on your side of the camera. Is the crew behind the scenes distracting?

Brook: Those two matches were done with the minimum crew to get a great shot, but they had a lot more than I’ve had in the past to allow the match to really proceed as naturally as possible, the only reason I agreed. That and the fact that they offered me some choice beef and I was a hungry mutt [laughing].

Brook loved a heaping serving of Tony Vencini in Mat Brats 2

Bard: Sounds fantastic! I can’t wait. When you have your pick of choice cuts, what sort of beef do you like sinking your teeth into?

Brook: I’m pretty omnivorous. It’s just got to have a lot of fight in it or I sate to fast and lose interest.

Bard: Clearly you like to play with your food. Fuck, I’m getting hungry. I’ve always wanted to tell you that I think your ink is sensational. The color is stunning and the artwork looks amazing. And I love where it travels around your gorgeous body. Is there any special story about it?

Brook: I knew I wanted it and the placement to be where I could show it or hide it depending on the shorts I chose, etc. I found an amazing artist in NYC shortly after the ban on tattoo parlors had been lifted, since WWII. He had a place in the Hotel Chelsea, I used to go there and hang out and soak up the local color and history of it and we met. He was able realize in ink what I had in my head and 49 hours later (after several sittings), voila.


Bard: It’s incredible. The way it curls around your thigh and up your back brings wrestling to my mind.

Brook: Thank you, that’s very kind.

Bard: So you possess such a distinctive look- do you ever get stopped by guys who recognize you from your wrestling?

Outstandingly good, but  not too good to be true

Brook: I haven’t ever be recognized on the street. I have been recognized on some of the wrestling match up sites. It usually works against me though and it’s assumed I am a fake profile. So it works against me more than for me, lol.

Bard: I could understand guys thinking you have to be too good to be true. But oh, the cruel irony if they pass you up! Have you ever done any pro style ring wrestling?

Brook: I have, I really enjoy it. It’s fun bouncing boys and myself off the ropes.

Bard: I could easily see you in the ring! There’s something about a pro ring that makes everything larger than life. I hope we see you in the ring for public consumption sometime. So what’s a typical gym workout for you?

1402_lgBrook: I try to do a split work out, four days on, one day off. I’ve really been concentrating on my cardio lately so it’s five days a week. Now cardio can of course be various things from running to throwing down on the mat, I try to keep it creative.

Bard: Yeah, I can think of a lot of fans, including me, who’d love to be part of that cardio! What does a typical date with Brook Stetson look like?

Brook: Old School. Something where we can actually speak and get to know one another. A meal is good, walk on the beach, a fun activity like go-carting, hiking. Never shy away from some sort of physical activity. I want to get to know the person, test chemistry, and compatibility. A kiss or several is a must, everything is built from there. If it’s sub par, it’s never going to happen. It’s something that is ingrained and instinctual, it cannot be taught.

Kissing featured in Brook’s early career Sex Wrestling 3 match for Zeus with Dane Tarson.

Bard: Even though it can’t be taught, I feel like taking notes and studying diligently. I definitely feel like the kiss is make or break. And guys not into kissing need not apply. Have you ever dated someone you’ve wrestled?

Brook: Yes, both on camera matches and off.

Bard: That sounds like a ton of sensational chemistry, if things are firing on the mats and on one of those dates you described! Are there any wrestlers you haven’t had a crack at that you’d like to meet on the mats?

Mason Brooks makes the short list

Brook: Gareth Thomas, Kayden Keller, Mason Brooks, Kid Karisma, Matt Thrasher, Chance LaChance, Blue Rage, Cal Bennett, Ace Hanson, Van Skyler, Vasily Volkov……. It’s starting to become a long list, and don’t even start me on past roster wrestlers. WOOF!

Bard: Woof, WOOF! That’s a damn fine list! A little something for everyone. I’ve had a hard spot lately for some heel on heel match ups, so so many of those would scratch that itch so good! And don’t even get me started on how hot I’m getting thinking about you digging in deep on some of those pretty boys. Yum! I’d pay double for pretty much everyone of those match ups. In addition to the upcoming NK shoots, are we going to see you hit the mats on camera more in the future?

Brook: If the right cuts of meat are dangled and I’m hungry, yes!!!

Bard: Well, I just happen to have a couple hunks from your top pick list on speed dial, so I’ll be letting them know immediately that they are on the menu! For all of us twisted fucks with a Clark Kent erotic wrestling fantasy who have keyed into your brand of brutal physical domination, anything else you’d like to say to your avid fans?

Brook: On the mats, in the ring, or in life. Stay hard, ready, and real. And don’t forget…..I’m also just a guy, standing in front of a man, asking him to wrestle him [laughing].

Bard: [Laughing] I can guarantee that as long as you keep wrestling like you do, there are a whole lot of us who will stay incredibly hard. And if you keep paraphrasing Knotting Hill to such perfection, you’ve got a lock on another Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month title as far as I’m concerned. Thanks for being open to doing an interview!

Brook: I still think you are overestimating my appeal, but you’ve been incredibly kind and flattering. It’s been a lot of fun and very thought provoking. Thanks a lot, Stud.

Bard: My pleasure!

Stay hard, stay ready, stay real.


Getting It

I’ve prepared myself for what’s about to happen.  It’s like clockwork, so I’m absolutely certain I know what comes next.  Every time I take the opportunity to acknowledge my lustful appreciation of the unique wrestling talents of Skrapper, there are readers who instantly start trashing him.  Honestly, I just do not get it.  I understand that not everyone will enjoy the same styles, body types, personalities, etc., that I like. I sympathize when a fan reflects back to me their apathy about a wrestler that turns me on hard. But I just don’t get the vitriol that Skrapper inspires from a certain segment of the audience.

Skrapper turns me ON!!!

Just to put you on notice, I screen out attempts to trash the bodies, intelligence, or general attractiveness of wrestlers in the comments of this blog. That obviously doesn’t stop anyone from flaming up elsewhere, but here at neverland, my intent is to make this a gay-positive, wrestling-positive, wrestler-positive space for those appreciating homoerotic wrestling. So if you don’t agree with my estimation that Skrapper is, pound for pound and inch for inch, one of the hottest, most arousing wrestlers currently in competition, do be polite if you want to start a conversation about it here. As for me, I grow a little more infatuated with his sensationally sexy body every time I see him. In his newly released Matmen 26 match against that adorable jobber, the Cheshire Cat of homoerotic wrestling, Drake Marcos, Skrapper is meatier than ever. He’s not huge, I understand. But his veiny, bulging biceps are making me a little dizzy with desire. And that ass is such a piece of work.

“Don’t call me a jobber, darn it!”

Drake is as adorable as ever, looking lean and mean and earnest as fuck. He’s downright solicitous as they arrive on the mat, praising Skrapper for leveraging his middleweight physique into a wrestling machine that’s quite genuinely made heavyweight muscle hunks 50% heavier than he is cry. Those are precisely the steps Drake would love to follow. He asks Skrapper for pointers in order to dig himself out of the “everyone’s favorite jobber” hole he’s dug for himself. Drake suggests they’re about the same size, similar physiques, so he’d love to learn from Skrapper how to finally earn some respect around here.

“Smell my pit.”

You get a strong whiff of what’s to come when you see Skrapper’s face reacting to Drake’s claim that their bodies are similar. “You think so?” he asks rhetorically, flexing those juicy, softball biceps I mentioned earlier. Ostensibly, he agrees to give the Cheshire Cat some lessons. They start with forcing Drake to smell his armpit.

“Kiss the mat!!!”

For a moment there, I think Skrapper is literally thinking that if Drake takes a deep inhalation of his musky, masculine sweat, it will work like an elixir and transform the adorable jobber into a force to be reckoned with. But the more Skrapper works his would-be protege, the more convinced I get that Skapper’s real intent is to demonstrate that Drake is not now, and never will be, in his league. And let’s talk about the metaphor I use so often around here: taking possession. Holy fuck, he ties Drake up in such knots that it’s almost not a metaphor any longer. I seriously wonder at times if he very well may successfully rip one or more limbs off of the Cheshire Cat.

Drake is put on lock down.

He’s intent on making Drake kiss the mat. He wants to use Drake’s quickly sweat soaked bod to mop the floor with him, and this time I’m talking literally. He pulls and pries, rips and stretches, and overwhelmingly punishes the jobber boy like a maestro. When it comes to wresting personas, I don’t exactly think of Skrapper as a face or as a heel, and never a jobber. He’s a homoerotically charged scrapper who just fucking loves to wrestle. But with the point to prove that Drake needs to step the fuck back and stop trying to compare himself with the skrappy one, I get a strong hit of a sadistic, ego-fueled heel bubbling just under the surface of Skrapper. I pray to the wrestling gods that some day soon we will see this amazing mat warrior translated full blown into the vile, hungry, domineering pro ring heel I’m absolutely certain he is, deep down.

Drake enjoys the unfamiliar feeling of being on top.

Never let it be said that I don’t give Drake his due, though. First of all, look at that sexy body of his glistening with sweat! The boy’s got abs that make me want to jump on like a hotel mattress.  And his long, sexy, punishing legs have never failed to make me weak in the knees, though never quite as much as when I was delighted to get to feel them wrapped around my own torso and squeezing every ounce of air from my lungs. To be honest, I totally thought this was going to be a squash. I thought Skrapper would crush his fawning would-be-protege like a grape. But it seems as if that air of inevitability about Drake perpetually sucking on a mouthful of humiliation may have finally pushed everyone’s favorite jobber over the edge.  Because he takes a mountain of punishment from Skrapper and then opens up a can of whoop ass that lasts for days!

He seriously, seriously enjoys making Skrapper scream!

I’m not sure I’ve seen Skrapper suffer quite like this since Kid Vicious got his hands (and mouth and cock) all over him. Drake rips his opponent’s street clothes off. He grabs hold of the advantage and milks it for every ounce of punishing torture at his disposal. He rides Skrapper’s gorgeous ass with conviction, and there’s an all too unfamiliar look of shocked delight on Drake’s face as he seriously starts savoring how the other half lives. He makes that steel core down Skrapper’s spine absolutely melt with the heat of his offense, ripping out a screeching, scream of submission completely uncharacteristic of Skrapper’s normally earthquake rumbling bass. “That first time wasn’t real!” Skrapper spits angrily, trying to re-write history, trying to salvage the humiliation of having been tossed over the edge of pain tolerance by one of the most notorious jobbers in the business. “That scream sounded pretty real,” Drake instantly slaps down lightning quick, razor sharp trash talk like a seasoned heel.

Drake running on fumes.

I love suspense, so I’m infatuated with the unpredictability of this battle. They strip each other naked and still just keep pounding, scrambling, squeezing and stretching one another. Drake is focused, dangerous, and clearly executes an expertly devised plan to make a bid at climbing out of that dark, dreary jobber hole of his. But in the end, he runs out of gas. They’re both at the point of complete exhaustion, but it’s D who finally can’t defend himself any longer.  And having tested and taunted Skrapper as brutally as he has up to that point, Drake is in for a sensationally sexy world of hurt from a vengeful badger like Skrapper, once he’s defenseless.

They get us.

These two sensationally sexy middleweights inhabit the same world you and I do. There’s no doubt that they are every bit as turned on by the pressing flesh and battle of wills on the wrestling mat as you and I are. Even if you aren’t as completely turned on as I am by this match (and don’t even try to tell me you aren’t if you haven’t seen it), I insist that gay wrestling fans owe the utmost respect to these two battlers, not just because they’re phenomenally arousing to watch go at it, but also because they so clearly get it. They get us. They are us, damn it.

They are us.

And nothing transports me so completely into a full throttle, sweat-soaked, naked finish homoerotic wrestling match as much as two wrestlers who want it to happen every ounce as much as I do.

And the nominees are…

Mere hours are left for you to register your votes for the 2014 BG East Besties. The last 4 categories I have to reflect on are what I think of as the most dramatic and titillating. Like saving “best picture” and “best actor in a leading role,” I’ve held off on reflecting on these because these mean most to me in any ways.  First up, let’s look at those who sold the most compelling characters this year, beginning with nominees for Top Heel.

After a bumpy start in BG East his first go a couple of years ago, Morgan “the Mastodon” Cruise has been a perennial heel. Vicious, merciless, with no regard for life or limb, much less rules or good taste, he’s very on point at all times. His monologues tend to be constant, regardless of his opponent, and I long for new depths of sadism fro him. But he’s got a ton of fans.
Guido Genatto has a boatload of nominations for Best Ring Match, Best Squash, Best Submissions, Best Overall Match. He doesn’t just heel, he obliterates. He’s a steam roller who delights in cheating because, fuck, who’s going to try to stop him? Definition of a heel.
Lane Hartley has so much swagger and he’s so damn pretty, he nearly slides out of heeldom when I picture him in my mind’s eye. He’s relentless and deeply sadistic. He takes great pleasure in the screams and tears of his victims.
My reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler Kid Karisma drips with contempt, supremely confident that his muscle and might will roll right over every victim placed in his way. I don’t think of him as a dirty tricks wrestler, because he’s just so fucking dominant, why would he need to rely on cheating? Sadistic as shit, yes, but the top heel?
Cage Thunder is a top shelf heel at all times, even though his appearances in 2014 were scarce. The mask, the body, that awesome cock… everything about him is perfectly tuned to inspire terror. He did what he does fabulously, but with just one match on the books this year, will he claim Top Heel of the year?

Shockingly, the reigning Top Heel the past two years running, Jonny Firestorm, was absent from this year’s slate. Was Jonny’s work somehow less dominant, less dastardly, less sadistic? With him suspiciously out of the way, however, someone is definitely taking the crown for the first time. I’m leaning toward Guido because of both quantity and quality of his matches. His trash talk alone is terrifyingly hot, but his muscle domination and indy pro heel superiority are absolutely soul crushing. I’m guessing fans will break his way or possibly Morgan’s. I think Cage Thunder is a long shot this year solely because he didn’t put up more evidence of his heel mastery in 2014, but he very well could be the sentimental favorite of long-time fans.

Top Jobber is crazy competitive this year. I would argue a jobber is not someone who just gets squashed, but someone who sells that he whole heartedly believes he has a fighting chance, even mounts some offense and keeps the suspense building, but sooner or later, inevitably goes down in crushing defeat. A jobber isn’t a pushover. He’s not a joke. He inhabits a full story arc, even if the outcome is as certain as the sunrise. You and I know a jobber is doomed from the start, but he doesn’t.  Let’s take a look at the contenders for this nuanced category.

Ty Alexander has been a house on fire his debut year. I think he’s a clear frontrunner for Debut of the Year, and he quickly developed the narrative of his legitimate skill and enthusiasm doomed to be crushed under foot. At times I wondered if his masochism was too far in front, if he wanted to be beaten so bad that he collapsed the suspension of disbelief. But he assembled an army of fans who I’m sure are behind him (because the view is so damn fine from back there).
I got harassed for discounting Kirk Donahue’s qualifications to be in the Best Butt contention, so I realize I may be asking for it again when I say that, although he made my crotch stir hard with an epic sell jobbing in 2014, it was just one match. The suspense lasted about 17 seconds before Guido was grinding the kid into pulp, which he sold like a champ, but still, was it enough to say he was Top Jobber for 2014?
Jake Jenkins carries so much water at BG East it’s amazing. Total top tier, multi-award winner babyface, he took major beatings in the ring in 2014 establishing a fantastic claim to be considered Top Jobber. Ignore his mat work. That’s a whole different JJ, and BGE deploys their boys in different genres with entirely different aptitudes. In the ring, though, in those “beat me” American flag trunks, he was an incredible jobber.
Drake started the year first jobbing hard for Mason Brooks and then getting pissy with me for admiring what a hot jobber he is. The handsome jobber fucking HATES being called a jobber, which somehow merely makes it only that much more certain that he’s such… a… JOBBER. To top it off, after searching the ranks of bloggers to find someone he can finally beat, he still ended up in a tree of woe with my heel grinding into his defenseless chest. What a jobber…
Kip Sorell is one tasty muscle jobber. His claim to Top Jobber seems clearer than his contention for Top Babyface, as I mentioned earlier. However, I’m not entirely sure Kip honestly believes at any point leading up to or during any of his matches that he has a snowball’s chance in hell. That makes him blur somewhere between a doomed character in a Greek tragedy (aka, a jobber) and a helpless victim of a mugging/attempted rape (aka, a farce). Fans love him every time he suffers hard, though.

Tough call, with a ton of blurry lines depending on exactly what you think and feel about jobbers in general.  Two-time winner Rio Garza was not nominated this year, leaving the field open for a first-timer to be guaranteed the crown. With the fond memory of him out cold, stripped naked, and with his trunks stuffed down his throat in the middle of the ring after coming face to face with a certain blogger, though, I have to punch Drake Marcos’ ticket (once again) for Top Jobber. I think his biggest competition for this one is Ty, with the difference being, in my mind, mainly the certainty that Ty would love to be Top Jobber, while Drake would hate it. Paradoxically, I think that gives Drake the edge here.  Long shot I think is JJ, mostly just because some people will vote for him regardless what the category is.  He’s so complex, though, and you have to partition out his mat work to fully justify him as Top Jobber.

Hottest Liplock may not be a category others think of as the top tier choice to make, but I fucking LOVE this category. Like “Best Submissions in One Match,” the context isn’t entirely clear.  A particular liplock? Perhaps not, since the nominees are just matches.  I love wrestling liplocks, though, so however you slice it, I’m so into this category.

Babyface Brawl X was sexy as hell and a fantastic concoction of bitter aggression and full on sexual arousal, which is one of my favorite formulas. Drake and Ty were fighting for victory, for dignity, and most of all, for Drake’s trunks. Some of the hottest liplocks are NFSW, but every one left me wondering whether it would be interrupted by more bitter fighting, which makes everyone of them hot, hot, hot.
Wrestle Shack 18 was full of full on homoerotic wrestling lust between Gabriel Ross and Christian Taylor. This was a fantastically sexy pairing, with tons of value added for the stark contrasts between their bodies. Christian is reigning kissing champion of BG East in my book, but I don’t know if Gabriel was as convincingly committed to the liplocks.
Holy shit Trey Dixon and Skip Vance were on FIRE by the end of their Gear Wars 4 match. How no penetration appeared on camera is a mystery to me, because Skip’s rod is visibly throbbing and Trey looks like a starved man sitting at an Old Country Buffet. This particular jockstrapped, cock-sitting, body-scissors-oh-fuck-it-let’s-suck-face moment brings a tear of ecstasy to my eyes every time.
Raunchy Rookies 7 saw the seismic double debut of Kayden Keller and Ty Alexander, putting up one of the sexiest, most explicit, fully erotic wrestling matches I’ve ever seen a rookie (much less two) manage. Kayden looks like he could eat the face off of adorable Ty, but the corporal domination leads ultimately to merely a double explosion in the middle of the ring. Sizzlingly hot liplocks, particularly once the gear is stripped.
Pain & Punishment 1 has locked down a boatload of nominations all over the place, so yet again consider the fine eroticism of Mason Brooks squelching Drake Marcos’ screams of anguish with an intoxicating liplock. Not nearly as many liplocks in this bitter, bitter feud as for other contenders, but the aggressive, dominating, domineering face suck is enacted to perfection.

So many fantastic liplock moments that speak to the very heart of what moves me most about homoerotic wrestling! If I could vote for all of the nominees, I would, because they all rocked me dizzyingly hard. Just one, though? Fuck.  It’s razor close between Babyface Brawl X and Gear Wars 4. My vote finally goes to the homoerotic jobber wonder twins, Drake & Ty, whose Babyface Brawl X was incredibly innovative and pushed the envelope in all the right directions.  I have no idea what the majority will vote for in this category. I won’t be surprised for whoever wins, though I’m pulling for the jobber wonder twins.

Now for Best Overall Match of 2014…

Guido Genatto once again complicates the field with two entries, first for Demolition 17 against Jake Jenkins. I don’t know if a squash is likely to win because of the constituency that just doesn’t like them, though this one was incredibly tasty.
Demolition 18 found Guido again crushing another jobber like a grape, this time wunderkind Kirk “don’t-discount-my-ass” Donahue. This match definitely made me most genuinely concerned for the life and limb of a wrestler this year. Was it best overall?
Mat wrestling entries for Best Overall Match include Passion & Punishment 1’s Trey Dixon v Skrapper. Intensely, intimately, shockingly erotic without an ounce of hot, hard, painful wrestling action spared. Incredible match. Totally legitimate finalist for this category.
Yet another Pain & Punishment 1 entry is Drake Marcos getting schooled like a stubborn pup by sexy as hell philosopher king Mason Brooks. This match pushed all my buttons a lot. Awesome drama that extended well beyond the narrative on camera. Fantastic wrestling, awesome suffering, sweat, luscious bodies… I’m convinced, but I’m slightly surprised it pulled the nominating committee to include it.
Pretty boy ring feast, Ring Hunks 2 makes a surprise entry here (as far as I’m concerned). Truly a watershed moment to watch Z-Man really come into his own and set the pace, control the tempo, and tell the story (not to mention fucking own every inch of Kip Sorell). Another squash though, making all 3 ring match entries in this category way one-sided. Not judgment on my part, just an observation.
Submissions 9 puts in the last contender with Cameron Matthews and Lorenzo Jake Lowe chaining together one dizzyingly hot hold after another until everyone is coated in sweat (and most of us on this end of the screen coated in other bodily fluids). Highest quality mat wrestling, big egos, energizer bunnies, bitter aggression.

I’m fascinated that all three ring match entries are squashes. That, along with Guido’s double entry, really fucks with my confidence in predicting a frontrunner. My vote is going to Mason and Drake because of several factors, including Mason’s gorgeous naked ass, Drake’s horrified whimpers, bitter trash talk, a gallon of sweat, and the ball rolling that would lead to me snapping Drake’s photo flat on his back under my foot about 9 months later. Extremely close 2nd place for me is Trey and Skrapper. Holy fuck that’s one over-the-top hot, hard fought, insanely sexy match. My barely better than a random guess for the majority on this one is Cameron and LJL, mostly because of Cam’s fan following. I think long odds are on Guido & Kirk.

If you haven’t voted yet, this is your Bard approved final ballot to point your way to where my tastes take me:

Best Abs: Lon Dumont

Best Bulge: Pete Sharp

Best Butt: Kid Karisma

Best Body: Kid Karisma

Sexiest Match: Passion & Punishment 1 – Trey Dixon v Skrapper

Best Mat Match: Passion & Punishment 1 – Drake Marcos brought to whimpering tears by Mason Brooks

Best Ring Match: Tag Team Torture 17 – Dumont/Baynard v Reno/Walsh

Best Debut: Ty Alexander

Top Babyface: Denny Cartier

Best Squash: Jobberpaloozer 13 – Austin Cooper v Leo Tomasi

Best Submissions in One Match: Wet & Wild 7 – Trey Dixon’s face-to-crotch headscissors on Mason Brooks

Top Heel: Guido Genatto

Top Jobber: Drake “damn-it-I’m-not-a-JOBBER!” Marcos

Hottest Liplock: Babyface Brawl X – Drake Marcos v Ty Alexander (aka, the homoerotic jobber wonder twins)

Best Overall Match of 2014: Pain & Punishment 1 – Drake Marcos sniveling and choking like a jobber punk beneath Mason Brooks

And the nominees are…

The link the the Best of BG East voting disappeared from the BG East homepage, but I swear I saw that you had until Sunday at midnight to cast your ballots.  Hopefully, if you’re still undecided, you still have time.  And hopefully I can offer this voter’s guide and my personal take on the field in a few more categories.  Let’s start today taking a look at the hotly contested and highly controversial Best Body nominees. What makes for “Best Body” has got to be even more subjective than what we evaluate as best body part by body part. Me, I like all sorts of bodies, but when I think “best” I think superior fitness, muscle mass, proportion, symmetry, balance, and that most subjective of them all, beauty.  Here are the contenders for Best Body at BG East in 2014.

I’ve been explicitly campaigning for months for Kid Karisma to take the title this year, because, fuck, look! All those qualifiers I mention above as my personal criteria are summed up right here in my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler. He’s also making a play for a Best Butt 3-peat, and I’m slightly aghast that he didn’t get a nomination for Best Abs.
For those who like them brawnier, burlier, hairier and with tweezed eyebrows, Chace LaChance is certain to make a strong showing. Interestingly he’s not a nominee for best butt, bulge or abs, but as a total package, he got the nod to join the field.
Also Best Abs nominee Z-Man took the Best Body title last year, after going down to Rio Garza in 2012. I’ll say it again, Z-Man must have an aging portrait of himself in the attic somewhere, because he’s perpetually gorgeous and in top shape.
Cal Bennett’s insurgency into the Best Abs and Best Body categories this year is ballsy and stunnning. He’s appeared in exactly 1 product thus far at BG East, but that was enough to get his liberally inked, stunning physique a nod for Best Bod. See my comments from a couple days ago about his body, honey, and my tongue.
Goldenboy Austin Cooper (or Dr. Cooper, depending on the day) is dazzlingly beautiful, proportioned, balanced. That pretty face could possibly distract even his die hard fans from fully appreciating the top contender quality of that body. But probably not.

I haven’t been coy about saying for months Kid Karisma’s phenomenal fitness and picture perfect physique deserve the title of Best Body this year. The total package from top to bottom, front to back, in my opinion. I expect Z-Man to be making the strongest play to be at the head of this pack, possibly with Coop making a dark horse late run. If Cal pulls this out, I’m calling it a major upset and a huge bullseye painted on his finely muscled ass if he ever dares to step foot in the ring with any of his more seasoned and tested contenders.

Now let’s look at some of the match Besties. Selecting a photo to highlight a nominee’s claim to take the title for best-of-match categories is daunting.  What single still frame captures a claim to make an entire match sexiest, or best on the mats? With humility, I’ve attempted to present some of what I think are the best claims for the following two categories, starting with Sexiest Match of 2014.

Cumming out of the gate hot and hard are Kayden Keller and Ty Alexander in their tandem debut in Raunchy Rookies 7. I think it says something significant to have a double debut be featured in the sexiest match contenders. RR7 burned it up, and win, lose or draw, I have to believe there are many more Bestie nominations heading both Kayden and Ty’s way.
I admit to being slightly surprised to see X-Fights 38’s Drake Marcos v LJL and not see Drake and Ty’s Babyface Brawl X in this category. Nevertheless, Drake and LJL were two of the sexiest X-fighters at BGE this year, and their 38 fight was fucking mean and nasty. They hated each other start to finish, which makes it just that much sexier to see how prominently sexual domination became the story.
Military Muscle 2 is another surprise entry here, as far as I’m concerned. Not because I didn’t think it was scorchingly sexy, but because it was far less sexually explicit than other matches that weren’t nominated. That said, MM2 demonstrates that a match doesn’t need to include cock-sucking in order to be blindingly sexy, and rookie Zion Brown’s gasping adoration of Kid Karisma is convincing and compelling.
Pasion & Punishment 1 was the first time I sat up and took notice of Trey Dixon. His pairing here with Skrapper is nothing short of epic. Their confrontation is spilling over with raw, balls to the walls lust from the start, and the sexual tension makes my hard drive melt (seriously, I had to buy a new computer). I had to go back and verify that these two didn’t actually fuck on camera, because the sexual aggression is so damn explicit.
Dark Knights 11 with Steven Ponce and Ray Dalton is clearly the choice for muscle fetish leather daddies and their stubborn boys. I’m regretting that Dark Knights 12 wasn’t the DK entry in this category, but it’s not hard to see why nominators gave Ray and Steven the nod here.

This category is a major struggle for me to settle on. My blogger v wrestler match with Drake was not nominated, and of course, other than my personal photographs of Drake’s post-match humiliation, you would be hard pressed to be able to make an informed vote our direction (though, take my word for it, it was sexy).  So just looking at those that were nominated, personally, I’m completely torn between Raunchy Rookies 7, X-Fights 38, and Passion & Punishment 1. I know that there are wrestling fans out there that don’t like Skrapper, so I’m guessing Passion & Punishment may be a long shot, but at the end of the day, that’s where my vote goes. I’m also guessing it will be either Raunchy Rookies or X-Fights 38 that may be where the majority goes this time, which I will totally understand. Dark horse in this field I think is Dark Knights 11. I didn’t see a ton of buzz about it, but if the muscle fetish leather daddies snap the collars on all their boys, they’ll double their vote quickly and, potentially swing this their way.

Finally for today I’m taking a look at the Best Mat Battle nominees. This is another extremely tough slate to choose from, but you don’t pay me to dither.  Wait, you don’t pay me at all!  Oh well, onward and upward…

Submissions 9 with Cameron Matthews grappling with LJL has got to be a front runner in this category. Cam and LJL are major league mat tacticians, and that and about 2 gallons of sweat and some smoldering bitterness make Sub 9 insanely aggressive and the stuff that no one other than a contortionist should try.
Passion & Punishment’s match with Drake Marcos and Mason Brooks makes a compelling argument. Two big egos enter the mat room, but one of them crawls on his belly out of the mat room having been actually tagged with a permanent marker to remind him what a consummate jobber he is. As much as I love watching Drake suffer, even I was worried at times in this match that the philosopher king Mason was going to literally break him… which makes a strong case for Best Mat Battle.
But then the drama ensues in the Academy, as Mason is going up against himself in this category, also getting the nod for his work against Skrapper in Undagear 22. These are two of the fiercest mat boys on the books right now, and neither of them is going to concede to losing while conscious. Then again, there’s that anti-Skrapper faction out there.
I was only slightly shocked to see Damien Rush and Joah Bindao’s Undagear 21 bout appear in this category. Shocked because I don’t think of it as cream of the crop mat work, but only slightly because Damien Rush getting schooled by a petite muscleman acrobat is always going to get attention. I loved the back and forth in this match. Lots of suspense and bruised egos.
But if you’re jonesin’ for bruised egos, I’m guessing your choice very well may be Undagear 22’s match between Ray Naylor and Kid Karisma. Ray fucking HATES Kid K, and you get the impression he hates himself just a little for being unable to resist stroking Kid K’s luscious muscles (see my arguments for his Best Body claim). These two put the hurt on each other big time, and you know it was a special match when Kid K treats the loser to a free strip show after all is said and done.
As long as Jake Jenkins is wrestling, I predict he will have at least one nomination in the Best Mat Battle category. He’s typically the master of the mats, but he bites off more than he can chew in Gazebo Grapplers 16, facing down big, beautiful newbie Carter Alexander. The outcome of this match is in question to the bitter end, and that end has got to be described as a stunning upset, so little wonder this shows up as a Best Mat Battle nominee.

Fuck, this is another hard choice.  My vote, for what it’s worth, is going to Passion & Punishment’s Drake Marcos versus Mason Brooks. It was that match, and the 3-way interview I conducted with Mason and Drake that ultimately got the whole ball rolling to eventually find myself shutting Drake up with his trunks stuffed down his throat this past Fall. It’s also sweet drama, and watching Mason pick Drake apart, humiliate him worse and worse, strip him naked and leave his indelible mark clearly ignited a ton of fantasy’s-cum-true in me. I’m thinking the favorites in this category may be Cameron and LJL, though, possibly with Ray and Kid K being the dark horse here able deliver an upset.

If you haven’t finished your ballot yet, here’s what the Bard-approved slate of choices looks like:

Best Abs: Lon Dumont

Best Bulge: Pete Sharp

Best Butt: Kid Karisma

Best Body: Kid Karisma

Sexiest Match: Passion &  Punishment 1 – Trey Dixon v Skrapper

Best Mat Battle: Passion & Punishment 1 – Drake Marcos gets owned by Mason Brooks

Oscar Time

Reigning HWOTM Trey Dixon

It’s not uncommon for me to get distracted over the course of a month and forget to sing the praises of my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month as much as I intend.  Before January slips away entirely, I just want to sit back and marvel at the Academy Award statue model that we so breathlessly call Trey “Oscar” Dixon.

I’ve got spare internal organs I’d give to trade places with Skip Vance right here.

Of course, Trey handily laid claim to the title of HWOTM with his fantastically revealing gear fetish work in Gear Wars 4.  The prototypical and quite literal golden boy was bedecked sequentially in metallic gold tights and a luchador mask, a mustard yellow suction packed singlet, perfectly packaged golden designer undergear, a jock strap and, finally, gaspingly, tauntingly, absolutely nothing at all.  From fashion show to wrestling ring to wrestling mat, Trey kept my heart racing from start to finish in Gear Wars 4.

I make that same face every time I watch this scene from Wet & Wild 7.

“Oscar’s” fairly brief tenure thus far with BG East (or any homoerotic wrestling company, as far as I can tell) displays an impressive aptitude for dominating wrestling and full throttle erotic intrigue.  From the pool to the wrestling mat, Trey’s phenomenal physique and hypnotically blue eyes have demonstrated that he can both lull an opponent into lowering his guard and turn around and put a major hurt on him.  His work taking Mason Brooks to the very limit in Wet & Wild 7 won him another reign as HWOTM last summer, and when I’m hard pressed for inspiration, his fully flexed bod and orgasmic face applying that poolside face-to-crotch headscissor on Mason absolutely never fails.

All sorts of right about the inferno generated by Trey and Skrapper!

It was Trey’s encounter with Skrapper, though, that really catapulted him into the upper echelons of my infatuation.  I have occasionally complained about the less than explicit homoeroticism in so much of homoerotic wrestling today.  Like a dickslap in the face, Trey’s combat with Skrapper in Passion & Punishment 1 pushed all my buttons at once.  Very, very seldom have I seen a rookie so fully committed to bringing sexy to the mat, so much so that I have no trouble at all believing Trey gets it, deep down and hard as bedrock, in a way that I intuit a lot of very entertaining homoerotic wrestlers only approximate.  Skrapper also gets it, and I’ve spilled gallons of ink and other fluids on marveling at the hotline he has to my crotch.  So no wonder a savant rookie hardbodied hunk like Trey paired with never, ever, ever say die brutalist who gets off on pain of any sort (giving, receiving, hell, I bet just watching) Skrapper pegged the thermometer at too hot to believe.  Trey’s stock is sky high and holding very steady in my attention, and I hope we continue to see much, much more of him.  And if we do, I’d bet you money he’ll be back on the dais as HWOTM yet again.

Jake Ryder samples luscious Trey in X-Fights 36.

Grasping at Straws

In case you didn’t catch it, my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, Drake Marcos, crawled out of the shame spiral he’s been in for the past month in order to try to articulate how, after all that taunting and trash talk, he ended up with his trunks stuffed in his mouth and a certain blogger snapping photographic proof of his humiliation in the ring (not that we didn’t already have copious evidence of Drake’s humiliation in the ring).  It’s adorkable.  I honestly didn’t realize that my infatuation with Mason Brooks’ nipples was what apparently seeded Drake’s antipathy toward me during our 3-way interview nearly a year ago.  Seriously, how could I not be infatuated with Mason’s nipples?  And it’s not as if I have some finite supply of infatuation and fandom to ration out. I can marvel at Drake’s magnificent suffering as a sensational jobber and, simultaneously, go dizzy with delight at Mason’s hot pecs and total mastery of an outmatched opponent.

Blogger bait Drake Marcos

We’ve been left in suspense to hear the end (or at least “part 2”) of Drake’s attempt to rationalize away his blogger beat down. Considering it was almost 11 months between his last post and this one, perhaps we shouldn’t hold our collective breaths.  And what, honestly, can a stud say to defend himself when he was photographed entirely defenseless and defeated? The end of “part 1” of Drake’s tap dance around the cold hard facts suggests that, as is so often the case with dissociative disorder, he is coping with his shame by glancing sideways at his split-personalitied alternate self.  Whatever you need to do to sleep at night, Drake.  Whatever you need to do.  As we wait, I’ve collected a few choice moments from Drake’s wrestling history to share as evidence that the handsome hunk sells sublime suffering just about the best of anyone I can think of in the business today.  I’d suggest the Cheshire Cat simply own it rather than run from what he does so, so well: suffer.  Check out Kayden Keller’s Facebook feed for more piling on, pointing out that nobody agonizes helplessly quite as provocatively as Drake Marcos.

Jonny Firestorm makes Drake weep as he drags the jobber up by his roots in Custom Combat.
Drake wails as Skrapper nearly rips his head off in Wet & Wild 7.
LJL rubs Drake’s face in it in X-Fights 38
Ty Alexander gives Drake the best seat in the house in Babyface Brawl X.
Mason Brooks treated Drake to the best seat in the house in Passion & Punishment.
But I had the best seat in the house (perched atop the turnbuckle at BG East South) about a month ago.


Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

I neglected to anoint a homoerotic wrestler of the month last month, but it’s not because there weren’t outstanding and eligible candidates. It was entirely do to my neglect (and ass-kicking travel schedule). To rectify the situation, I’m widening the field for the new reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month to include all of the new releases for the past 2 months.  That makes this the homoerotic wrestler of the months, I suppose.  Or of the summer. Whatever. Fuck semantics. Let me get down to business.  I wrestled about twice as long comparing and contrasting twice the new releases, but I kept finding myself drawn back to what I found to be a surprising conclusion. This is a first-time HWOTM and someone I haven’t spent a ton of time writing about. But for reasons I’ll explain below, I decided that my new homoerotic wrestler of the month(s, summer) is…




5’10”, 155 pounds

Trey Dixon.

Trey makes Drake his bitch (so what’s new?…)

Somehow it feels to me like Trey has been around the scene for ages, but that’s just not the case.  He’s wrestled a total of 3 times in BG East releases, and those have all been out less than a year. I’d consider him part of the sophomore class, but like I said, there’s a quiet confidence and maturity about the stunningly ripped stud that belies his relatively brief known (to me) wrestling resume.  So seeing him in the ensemble cast of BG East’s early summer release Wet & Wild 7: Pool Tournament, I’m a little surprised to find myself so taken with him.  Standing out among the crowd of contenders across all June/July wrestling releases is tough enough, but also standing out among 5 other sophomore class hunks seems like even more of an achievement.

Babyheel Kayden Keller crushes Trey’s head between his hot, hairy thighs.

Wet & Wild 7 is a king-of-the-pool competition, so that at least makes sense to me as grabbing my attention.  I love the drama of wins and losses and eliminations and best 2-out-of-3 to the title moments, and all of these are part of this fun romp. All 6 studs get their hands on each other at some point or another, but early going its clear that the hunk to beat is either going to be Trey or Mason Brooks. In the initial single elimination round robin, in fact, they’re the two left standing, but along the way, everyone has gotten into the act.   Initially, the action is pulled directly from summer pool fights from my childhood, with the scramble taking place in the middle of the pool, punctuated repeatedly by humiliating dunks and long, slow, overpowering submissions.

Mason likes the feel of Trey under his control.

In the initial one-and-out impromptu tournament, it’s the freshest man in the pool, Mason, who overcomes long, lean, tanned, beautiful Trey for the victory.  Nobody, and I mean NOBODY is satisfied with smart-mouthed Mason simply taking the crown and walking away with it. Regular readers know that I’m more than a little infatuated with Mason, and though BG East doesn’t ask, I unilaterally award him Best Nipples of the Year every year.  Mason is smart and quick witted and when victory goes to his head, no one around that pool is happy to concede he’s king of the pool.

Skrapper and Ty work out some frustrations after taking one too many taunts from Mr. Nipples.

What follows is a very fun fuck-the-rules free for all as the boys go to town on each other.  Double teams batter every cocky stud, including Mason, down a notch or two.  Mastered muscles are paraded around the pool for the combatants at poolside to indulge in some gratuitous slaps and punches and trash talk.  There are sweet subplots of revenge enacted after earlier slights and humiliations. Personally, I’m struck by the stunningly hot contrasts when Trey returns to wolverinish, pale, hairy heel-in-training Kayden Keller to teach the babyheel a thing or two.

Trey makes Kayden pay.

The moment in this match that haunts my dreams is after Trey has milked out a submission from Kayden. He turns to the rest of the boys sitting on the pool deck, and with supreme confidence he holds his arms out wide, inviting any and all to deny that he’s the fucking stud to beat.  Trey says precious little in his matches, at least as far as verbal communication goes, but his non-verbals raise trash talk to new heights!  His arms held out silently to his sides light a fire in my crotch that’s still burning a month and a half later!

Who’s next, bitches?

Ultimately, Mason is as worn out as everyone else, and with the field a little more even, he and Trey agree to go 2 more falls to determine whether Mason truly is the pool bully of the day, or whether tanned beauty Trey is the rightful title holder.

Trey’s got Mason right where I want him.

They’ve both tasted victory. They’ve both choked on humiliation. Absolutely having to win a fall or face the humiliation of going down 2 in a row, Trey turns into a wild animal.  He swarms all over Mason, exploiting his long limbs and superior height to take advantage of the smart mouthed stud puppy.  More and more the action spills out of the pool and onto the pool deck, which for someone like me who resents pool wrestling for how much remains unseen underwater, is a blessing.

Tanned, toned, ripped muscle hunk Trey makes a convincing case for the king of the pool title.

Trey takes the equalizer, and the fierce look of determination on his face drives me nuts! Okay, that look along with his stunningly flexed muscles. And that hot bulge in his trunks. And the momentary desperation playing across Mason’s normally cocky face. The buzz cut, the all-over tan, the pump, the squeeze, the veins popping to the surface… Trey is picture perfect as the Lord of the Summer, the Poolside Bully Extraordinaire, the muscle-punk tamer, the champ.

Mason turns the tables, and Trey struggles to keep his dreams of victory afloat.

There are depths to Mason Brooks, however, that we have yet to plumb. With the momentum heading Trey’s way, Mason finds gears that no one has ever even heard of.  Trey spends days languishing between Mason’s gorgeous thighs. He throws his own offense, but finds the chess master Mason two steps ahead of him every time.

Trey becomes Mason’s catch-of-the-day.

Slowly, it’s Mason’s fall to lose. Even the superhuman conditioning on Trey can’t stave off exhaustion as he battles the water weighing him down and his opponent gradually taking possession of his smoking hot body.  Here’s where the real competition happens for today’s question, because this could be Mason’s HWOTM title for his part in this work of art. But what lingers in my mind’s eye is Trey selling the story of the poolside bully worn out, beat at his own game, and hung out to dry.  Once a finely tuned muscle machine patrolling his waters like the primordial shark, Trey melts helplessly cracked across Mason’s knee, in the Virginian’s total control as Mason crushes his balls.

Not so cocky now, eh, Trey?

There’s this fantastic symmetry as Mason hoists Try up across his shoulders. Almost as if in cruel mockery of himself, Trey’s arms hang to his sides, palms up, the pool Messiah crucified in  the same position with which he had summoned all challengers earlier in the afternoon to soak in the sight of his awesomeness and tremble at his taunting challenge.

Mason let’s everyone take a crack at his new plaything.

Mason parades the once-mighty hunk around the perimeter of the pool for everyone who Trey had bullied to slap around and taunt. He is Mason’s possession to do with what he wills. That gorgeous tan. Those ripped muscles. That devastatingly handsome face. It all belongs to Mason. And everyone, even a begrudging Skrapper, has to admit that this day, this pool, this vanquished hunk, belongs to Mason.

Trey’s worked up quite an appetite with all of that pool wrestling!

All six sun-kissed studs are torqued beyond tolerances by the extremely erotic action, and they all retire to the middle of the pool to luxuriate in the pumping adrenaline and hard bodies all around them. Again, Trey let’s his body do the talking, leaping into Ty Alexander’s arms as if Trey has been ravishingly hungry for a taste of adorable Ty all afternoon. Ty’s hands grab Trey’s ass underwater. Trey cradles the back of Ty’s head in his hands and locks lips, sucking face with a ferocity to match his wrestling performance.

Awesome ensemble!

I repeat, this is an ensemble piece and all six of these summer studs tell the story. But among all of the boys of summer, for the body, the beauty, and the balls, for everything he’s packing inside those trunks, for his unspoken trash talk, and for his perfect telling of power and domination spoiled and broken, my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month is Trey Dixon.

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Summer, Trey Dixon.