Category: Lon Dumont

Your Civic Duty

wrestlebard5 Comments
There’s no category for most phenomenal forearms, but you can vote for Jonny Firestorm as  Best Heel of 2012.

I’m still recovering from a wrenched neck, but I wanted to broadcast loud and clear your moral imperative to vote in the currently (and briefly!) running, first ever (I believe), BG East year-end review fan poll.  We have 14 categories to vote for our favorites of the 2012 BG East releases, and the decisions are brutal, I tell you!  I just submitted my ballot, and I found it seriously tough to pick from the extremely fine field of contenders.  The Best Bulge category alone took me about 20 minutes to painstakingly research, because how do you decide between the pendulous packages of Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!), pretty Pete Sharp, Jobe Zander, Dylon Roberts, and Gabriel Ross!?  I don’t want to unduly influence the democratic process, so I’ll try to refrain from telling you who to vote for (though, seriously, people, check out my first day of Christmas present before you register your vote for Best Butt!).

For your consideration: Kid Karisma is up for Top Heel and Best Butt

This blog is also abundantly quoted in the year end celebration from BG East in which they announced the poll.  I feel like I say it a lot, but it bears repeating, the boys at BG East (both in front of and behind the cameras) are true friends of neverland, not just because they produce the top tier homoerotic wrestling products available, but also because they indulge me with permissions to use their copyrighted materials.  And most importantly, they’re just good guys… generous, understanding, and having just as much fun making these wrestling fantasies happen as you and I enjoy consuming them.  Whoever comes out on top of the polls, BG East is chocked full of winners in my book.

Lon Dumont is nominated for Top Heel, Best Abs, Best Butt, AND Best Body!

Now go vote, because polls close this Sunday, January 20, midnight EST.  And if you do want me to tell you who to vote for, just ask.

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, Santa Brought to Me…

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On the first day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Kid Karisma’s picture perfect ass.

On the second day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Ben Monaco’s luscious, furry pecs.
On the third day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Steel Muscle God’s tree trunk thighs.
On the fourth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Skip and Christian’s wrestling romance.
On the fifth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Darius’ muscle-packed trunks.
On the sixth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Kid Vicious’ domineering sneer.
On the seventh day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Lon Dumont’s insanely ripped back.
On the eighth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Mason Brook’s intoxicating nipples.
On the ninth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Cage Thunder’s mouthwatering cock.
On the tenth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Drake Marcos’ wrestling kinked smile.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Jonny Firestorm’s gorgeously sculpted forearms.
“On the twelfth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me…”
The final wish I whispered into Santa’s ear felt like possibly the most daring fantasy of all.  I was incredibly fortunate to get to spend about half a day with a certain homoerotic wrestling god about a year and a half ago.  The master of the house, this iconic heel turned wrestling producer showered generous hospitality on me, showing me every corner of BG East headquarters where many of my fondest wrestling fantasies have taken place.  Near the end of my visit, he invited me to join him as he sat down at his computer and pulled up the unedited photos of the upcoming BG East catalog (Catalog 89).  I stood behind his chair, looking over he shoulder as he clicked through literally hundreds of pics, zipping past most, and then pausing to soak in a particularly titillating shot.  “Mmmmm,” he’d mutter appreciatively, “look at that!”  A photo of Mitch Colby’s hot muscled bod draped helplessly across the top turnbuckle, about to be battered by big Vlad Varek made my host groan and made my cock ache.  I got the first outside glimpse of masked mountain of muscle Magnus force feeding his monster cock to fellow rookie Surge, to the soundtrack of my host letting out a little gasp of pleasure as he paused on a shot from behind Magnus, dwarfing his opponent, as Surge’s hands worshipfully cupped Magnus’ massive glutes.  My host would fly through dozens of photos and then something would catch his eye, and when he paused on a shot long enough for me to soak it in, I’d see it.  A particularly sexy angle, a display of exquisitely tortured muscle, an incredibly hot grimace of agony or sadistic, sexy leer. His taste, his eye for what speaks most directly to my own homoerotic wrestling kink, was astonishing to witness, and his commentary as much as the graphics left me slightly dizzy and hard a rock.  With that memory crystal clear in my mind, I whispered to Santa, I want to see just a glimpse of what he sees.  And on the twelfth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me an entire collection of what catches the eye of the man who has pretty much defined my homoerotic wrestling kink, an astonishingly beautiful montage of moments directly from the desk of Kid Leopard.
Dawn breaks over the lake at BG East.
Skrapper rolls out of bed, ready for a day of wrestling
Drowsy Christian Taylor looks for breakfast, with pretty Pete Sharp in the background
“The irrepressible Lon Dumont” saddles up to the counter with his gorgeous recruit, pretty Pete Sharp
“Since you like bespectacled wrestlers,” the note from KL says, “here Nick Rush laces up beside a contemplative Lon Dumont prior to their match with Austin & Jake.”
Beauty, grace, power: Jake Jenkins takes to the air
Stunningly handsome and beautifully proportioned: All-American Austin Cooper

Bespectacled (thus extra hot) Lorenzo Lowe looks like the meat sandwiched between Jonny Firestorm and Kid Vicious
Lobolito watches as Drake texts illicit photos to neverland

Canadian Beef: The Boss included in his bundle of Christmas presents this never before seen (but much anticipated) preview of Ben Monaco and a new massive, hairy muscle beast due out in the next BG East catalog!
News Flash: Liam Ryan is bearded, bulked up, and ready for one of the most epic returns to BG East wrestling ever in 2013!

Did Kid Leopard’s eye for homoerotic wrestling mold my tastes, or does he simply have instinctive insight into what turns me on?  Either way, like Santa, Kid Leopard is an incredibly generous friend of neverland, and his generosity and genius continue to turn me on like nobody else can!

On the Seventh Day of Christmas, Santa Brought to Me…

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Honestly, I was not expecting my tenure on a big, bear daddy’s lap to be so productive (and I’m not talking about Santa’s unmistakable boner that he grew as I whispered my Christmas wish list in his ear).  For the first day of Christmas, big papa Nick brought me a photo shoot of Kid Karisma’s ass that still makes my knees buckle.  On the second day of Christmas, Santa brought me the big, furry pecs of Canuck rookie Ben Monaco flexing especially for me.  On the third day, he brought me the steel muscled legs of Steel Muscle God to enshrine and worship.  On the fourth day of Christmas, Santa brought me a little wrestling romance in the form of some tender moments shared between the lovely royal couple of homoerotic wrestling, Skip Vance and Christian Taylor.  On the fifth day of Christmas, he brought me a very mouthwatering bulge of muscles that Darius can’t quite squeeze into his gear.  And on the sixth day, Santa shocked the pants off of me (literally) by not only finally getting me in touch with Kid Vicious, who’s been in my sights for an interview for over 6 months, but also sending some late breaking insider news of upcoming KV releases as well as some of the choicest shots of that outstanding cum-inducing sneer on the Vicious One’s face! Clearly, I’ve been a very, very good boy, and if this sort of haul is what I get for just sitting on the big man’s lap, next year I’ll offer to polish his North Pole!  What else could make these 12 days of Christmas as titillating as the first 7?
“On the seventh day of Christmas, Santa brought to me…”
I had an instant and non-stop crush on a certain Nor’easter pro wrestler turned homoerotic ring god from the moment I saw the camera fade in on the sight of him flexing in the BG East ring in preparation for his first match with the company.  There’s not an inch on this man that fails to turn me on, and not an inch I wouldn’t like to see a whole lot more of!  But I have to admit, that afternoon at the mall that I sat on Santa’s lap, I had just seen Tag Team Torture 15 and drooled all over myself when I saw this certain competitive bodybuilder turn his back to the camera and flex his insanely shredded back as he nearly ripped the head off of his completely outmatched musclebunny face opponent.  With that toasty image fresh on my mind, I included on my wish list a little pro wrestling bodybuilder fix, and on the seventh day of Christmas, I found under my quickly shedding tree none other than the current top contender to spank my first day of Christmas present, showing off the anatomy chart of back that could belong to no one other than Lon Dumont!
First, a shot of Lon’s brutally striated back muscles on stage, tanned and oiled, and making the judges gasp.
Then an up close pic of of the superhuman proportions and conditioning that leave me quivering in a pool of body fluids.  These wings can fly, my friends, and this testament to fierce perseverance and a singular focus on physical perfection, when paired with the snarling, trash talking mouth and unparalleled sell of a seasoned pro wrestler, is what makes me president of the Lon Dumont fan club and devotedly grateful to Santa and Lon for making this particular wish come true!
And just because Lon is a outrageously generous as he is scorchingly hot, he also sent along this jaw dropping shot of his serratus and obliques to drain me that much drier.  Damn, I need a job as this man’s pro-tan applicator!
And in case you haven’t seen those luscious latissimus dorsi doing what they do best, here they are making musclebunny Jake Jenkins scream like a bitch in Tag Team Torture 15 (a MUST own, LD fans)!  POW!

…So Let’s Keep Rocking and Rolling

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Not long after my recent post describing exactly what Blaine Janus and Mason Brooks did to me in their intensely sexy Gazebo Grapplers 14 throw down, I found this snapshot in my inbox along with this adorable note:
“Just wanted to say thanks for the nice write-up
 and I’m glad you enjoyed watching the match
as much as I enjoyed filming it! – Mason”
After licking my computer screen a few times, I quickly replied, and using my famous powers of persuasion (which admittedly involve a whole lot of sincere flattery), I got Mason to agree to chat with me a bit about being one of the new kids on the BG East block.  In some ways, the interview that follows picks up right where my interview with Ben Monaco left off yesterday.  Young Mason had me rolling on the floor in laughter one minute and then needing to rearrange my crotch the next minute with his razor sharp wit and extremely sexy insights into how he approaches launching an on-camera homoerotic wrestling career.  So let me be the first to introduce you to this sultry, sexy, suprisingly sinister Southern boy who, I predict, very well could take BG East by storm.
Bard: Fantastic to hear from you, Mason! And damn, boy, really, really thanks for the photo! If you enjoyed filming that match even half as much as I enjoyed watching it, I hope you had a few days to rehydrate because you and Blaine certainly wore me out. Can I share your pic on the blog? And can I start peppering you with questions “on the record?”

Mason Brooks: 5’9″, 150 lbs.

Mason: [Laughing] Please, feel free to share. I am getting in touch with my inner exhibitionist. And I’d be happy to answer your questions.

Bard: You’ve definitely got to let that inner exhibitionist out. A lot! Consider us on the record, and talk to me about your nipples (which is something I’ve never said in an interview before!). Blaine cannot keep his hands off of them. Ben Monaco privately commented to me that your nipples are “to die for.” Ben’s words were, “I know it. He knows it. That’s where he’s going to get his fans.” And I have to tell you, you’ve got seriously hot nips! What sort of “gay wrestling catnip” do you use on them to turn us all on like that!?

Mason: Well, gee, this is a first for me as well. It’s funny, aside from the piercing, which obviously gets a fair amount of attention, I’ve never thought of my nipples as a standout attribute of mine. I mean, maybe my hair, my smile, my eyes–the list goes on, as you might imagine. I guess all those dips and push-ups while watching Honey Boo Boo this summer paid off. Seriously, though, if everyone is as taken with them as Mr. Monaco, I think I’m set. He really couldn’t help himself all weekend. Not that I’m complaining, of course. If a little nipple-tweaking was my BG East initiation, I guess I got off easy. It is strange, though, that they seem to have such an effect on Canadians. It was chilly that weekend, and the cold air does seem to perk those boys up. Sort of like my nips.  Not sure about the gay wrestling catnip (although that sounds like something I need in my stocking this Christmas). Actually, just a little neosporin now and then to keep the piercing in working order, especially if someone’s had his, umm, hands all over it.

Blaine had his… hands… all over Mason’s nips.

Bard: There’s just so much material there in your answer that I’m almost speechless. Almost. So yes, let me just confirm that I’m in a growing line of guys who clearly find your nipples extremely alluring. Next, please let me also confirm that your hair, smile, and eyes are also very, very attractive, but I’ll be damned if there’s a BG East fan who’ll rip his eyes away from your hot pecs to say much more about your eyes. And finally, I’m profoundly disturbed to recognize within myself that the image of you doing dips and push-ups while watching Honey Boo Boo just completely gave me wood. My therapist and I are going to have a lot to talk about next week…. But dragging myself back on topic… as I mentioned in my review of your match with Blaine, you certainly caught me off guard. I was totally expecting to see an earnest, babyface-in-wrestling-singlet bound to be another naive rook about to be awakened to the dark truth of homoerotic wrestling at the hands of a master. Then like a cruise missile you almost instantly locked Blaine down, completely immobilized him, and went straight for a crotch claw. There’s no way in hell you’ll convince me that that was your first dance, Mason! That was an accomplished hand that so confidently, simultaneously crushed Blaine’s testicles and worked him into a drooling lather. Where have you wrestled before, and how much will I pay to see your rip-n-strip archives?

Mason sees what’s he wants and goes for it.

Mason: Okay, I must confess, this was not my first dance. I’ve done my fair share of wrestling, in and out of a singlet, and learned the ropes, as they say. None on video, unfortunately. As far as I know….  But maybe, just maybe, I enjoy it when people see my cute, innocent face and underestimate me. I think it gives me an advantage when I surprise them with my skills.  More than that, though, I’m the kind of guy who sees what he wants and goes for it. You saw him, parading his freckled cheeks around in that little see-through number.  how could I not pounce on that? Yeah, if anyone thought I was a pushover, they were in for a rude awakening.

Bard: You, my new friend, are one seriously devious little devil! I’d love to get Blaine’s take on this, but my impression is just that: he completely underestimated you. I strongly suspect that your (now) obviously misleading shy grin and a strong resemblance to Edward Norton could throw plenty of opponents off stride right around the time that you rip them apart at the crotch and claw their balls with abandon. In light of the horrific tragedy that your earlier wrestling in/out of a singlet was not captured on video, I hope BG East signed you up for many more matches to come. Having toyed, dangerously, with fluorescent blue-eyed, freckle faced, horny-toad Blaine, have you seen anything else at BG East that you hope to “go for” in the future?

“Gabriel Ross is lucky I had a plane to catch…”

Mason: You know, I’ll gladly take on (and take down) whomever they want to throw at me. Christian, Skip, Len, Lorenzo–I think all those boys need to get a taste, and I’m ready to give it to ’em, any time. The big muscleboys–gosh, I can never keep all their names straight–they don’t scare me either. And Gabriel Ross is lucky I had a plane to catch, or he would have been next on my list. I don’t care how much he bulked up, that little wanker would have ended up with a faceful of my balls. Though I’m not sure how mean I could be to him–that smile is pretty killer. As it happens, all I got to do was hug him goodbye. And cop a feel, of course.

Bard: I really, really like the sound of hotties like Lorenzo Lowe getting “thrown” at you. It makes me picture you in the ring with boys flying off the ropes, and I hope we see you in the ring soon. And as for muscleboys, I suspect that with the performance you posted against Blaine and the smack talk you’re laying down here, there could be some big muscleboys eager to get their hands on your pecs and/or your balls in their face. Personally, I’d like to take up a collection to buy Gabriel a ticket back just to see how “that little wanker” would fare in the matroom against you. It would be like a battle of the angelic babyface badboys, which sounds like a fantastic theme for a collection of matches! So if you were ever to find yourself sleepered out cold at the end of another sweaty, raunchy barnburner like you suffered at the hands of Blaine Janus, who would you prefer to wake up with his tongue shoved down your throat: Lorenzo Lowe, Ben Monaco, or Kid Karisma? In other words, twink, hunk, or muscleboy?

“Lorenzo sounds mighty nice.”

Mason: Hmmm, twink, hunk or muscleboy.  Is that like boff, marry, kill? It all depends on my mood, I suppose. (Sometimes you feel like a nut, and all that, right?) I wouldn’t kick any of those boys out of the ring for eating crackers, but right now I must be in a twink mood, because Lorenzo sounds mighty nice. Of course, he’d be the one getting sleepered out and waking up to me on top of him…

Lorenzo’s tongue ALSO seems irresistibly drawn toward Mason’s pecs (photo courtesy of Ben Monaco).

Bard: Well I saw a certain behind the scenes shot from Ben where you were sitting next to Lorenzo sans any pants, and you were sporting an awfully pleased grin on your face. I’m now officially advocating to see that grin on your face in a match with Lorenzo as he groggily rouses from your sleeper finisher to find your lips descending over his. Speaking of boff, marry, kill: Justin Bieber, Justin Theroux, and Justin Timberlake?

Boff. Marry. Kill.

Mason: Oh fun! Okay, first of all, my well-documented affection for Canadian boys notwithstanding, I would kill Justin Bieber, no question. Although I suspect that in a couple years, once the screaming girls have moved on and he’s still spindly and pale and the wrong side of 25, some combination of drugs and alcohol will do the job for me. Justin Timberlake’s never done that much for me, personally, but I guess I’d give him a whirl in bed. Don’t think I could marry him, though. His fashion sense irks me too much. (Ooh, you’re wearing a tweed vest and a fedora? Neato.) So that leaves Justin Theroux to marry, which sounds about right. I mean, if he’s good enough for the co-star of “Leprechaun,” he’s good enough for me. Nah, I’m kidding, he’s hot, I think we’d hit it off. As long as he’s into wrestling, that is. He seems like an interesting guy, but very serious. Eventually I’d get tired of exploring our feelings and I’d need to give those abs a working over. Wouldn’t that make a great tabloid headline? “Jen’s Heartbreak: Justin Caught with Wrestling Boy-toy.” Oh well, a boy-toy can dream….

Another wicked smart wrestling hunk:
Lon Dumont

Bard: I couldn’t agree with you more on all counts. And I can start that Justin Theroux rumor and see where it leads… never know. Damn, he’s hot. So you’ve got good hair, gorgeous pecs, magical nipples, AND insanely insightful taste in men? Damn, you’re going far! Did you have the opportunity to meet a long-standing favorite infatuation of mine when you were in Pembroke: Lon Dumont? I think you two would hit it off. You both seem particularly quick-witted and self-reflective. And he’s a god in the wrestling ring, so you can’t go wrong chumming up to Lon! Wrestling + smarts = Bard-is-infatuated. What haven’t you done yet in homoerotic wrestling that you’re itching to try out? Any particular moves, venues, gear, etc?

Mason: I did meet Lon Dumont, but just briefly. I think he was pretty busy in the ring, and I may have been headed to wash Blaine out of my hair (figuratively speaking, of course). Sounds like I should get to know him, though. I could always use a few pointers in the ring to add to my skills on the mat. What am I itching to try? You know, I’m always open to new things, especially if they make my butt look good. So, I dunno…rip and strip, oil, mud, jello? See, now I’m getting hungry. Oh, and I probably shouldn’t say too much, but it’s possible that in my next match we’ll get a little…wet?

Mail your boxes of Jello c/o Mason Brooks to:
BG East, PO Box 172, Pembroke, MA 02359

Bard: I hope you had help in the shower! Yeah, I think you and Lon could make for a very dangerous combination. If you two got your heads together, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that there’s been a major coup at BG East with you two running the show. And as for what we should expect next from you, I LOVE the sound of “wet!” And I’m even crazier for the words “oil, mud, and jello.” How incredibly old school sexy of you! I know a whole lot of wrestling fans who would blow a gasket for a rip-n-strip jello wrestling match, or a classic oil wrestling throw down. I think the time has come for those vintage genres to come back in vogue as retro-chic, and I love that you’re ready to be at the front of that line. But really, is there anything that doesn’t make your butt look good? So I think you know that I’ve also recently interviewed Ben Monaco, and Ben referred to you as “quiet and polite” to the point of being eligible to be an honorary Canadian. Has he ever actually met you?! I mean, sure, maybe you’re a little more reserved in person that you have been during this interview, but seriously… honorary Canadian!? Are you stringing him along, playing coy, in order to blow him away on the mats? Is this some sinister master plan building off of that dimple in your cheek and twinkle in your eye to lull another potential opponent into underestimating you?

Has Ben even met Mason!?

Mason: Honorary Canadian, huh? That would be quite an honor. I like hockey, beer, and flannel, and I know “O Canada” in English and French–still working on Inuktitut–so I think I’m halfway there already. I just hope the initiation ceremony involves Tyler Seguin shirtless and lots of maple syrup. As for quiet and polite, I can see how people assume that when they first meet me. I like to size up a room first, see who I’m dealing with. And hey, if people assume I’m innocent and harmless, that’s their problem. Plus I’m from the south, so yeah, probably I do have some manners deep down inside, along with a knack for making killer fried chicken. But I’m not so polite on the mat, as Mr. Monaco ought to know by now.

Bard: I’m adding “maple syrup” to the list of media within which you should wrestle. And it sounds like you’re more than halfway to Canuck-hood, eh? What part of the South are you from, and what percentage of the time that you wrestled with Ben did he spend sucking on your nipples?

Just like wrestling the pig farmer’s son!

Mason: I’m from a rural part of Virginia, where I’m pretty sure some folks are still fighting the Civil War. Very pretty country, but not much to do, unless you wanna wrestle a pig. On the other hand, sometimes you get into the Wild Turkey and end up wreslin’ the pig farmer’s son behind the barn. And that ain’t so bad. What else? Oh, right, nipples. Always with the nipples. As I recall, there was more pinching and tweaking going on than sucking, but it’s all a blur. A thoroughly enjoyable blur. Perhaps Mr. Monaco has a more vivid recollection, or maybe he was just daydreaming about the things he’d like to do with my sweaty chest.

Bard: You make pig farmer wrestling sound hotter than I’d ever have guessed! Ben was entirely mum about any activities you may have gotten up to. The nipple sucking was just my wishful thinking, though perhaps I’ve seeded the ground for future opponents you might face. I can hope. Well, Mr. Brooks, I’m convinced that we will be seeing a lot more of you in the future, based on your debut in Gazebo Grapplers 14 and your readiness to face all comers and all viscous substances. I predict that you’re going to have a big fan club, starting with nipple-obsessed Canadians and jello wrestling fans, but quickly branching out from there. Is there anything else you’d like to say to BG East fans who are about to discover that they’re Mason Brooks fanatics?

Quiet, polite, Southern boys:
probably nastier than you think.

Mason: Yeah, in the immortal words of Dirk Diggler, I’ll keep trying if you keep trying so let’s keep rocking and rolling. (Sweet jeebus, I loved that movie.) Seriously, though, I just hope the fans out there enjoy watching my matches as much as I enjoy making them, ’cause the whole experience was a blast, and I can’t wait to do it again. Oh, and watch out for quiet, polite, Southern boys–they’re probably nastier than you think.

Bard: True story: Boogie Nights is one of Lon Dumont’s favorite flicks. I kid you not. I’ve already seen quite a bit of chatter that fans are lining up for more of Mason Brooks, so we’re going to do our part. And personally, I’m hoping that there are plenty of hunks at BG East who will decidedly not take your advice about watching out for polite, quiet Southern boys, because I can’t wait to see the look of shock on their faces when you let loose. This was a true pleasure getting to chat with you! Thanks for your time, and I hope we can do this again. I’m strongly convinced that you could go very, very far in this business, and I’m not just saying that because of your entrancing nipples.

Mason: The pleasure was mine, and thank you so much for the kind words. The nipples and I are flattered.

Mason Brooks and his nipples.

Man Enough

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Our Google overlords bless us with a fickle blogger interface that frequently leaves me cursing.  Typically, I think, the frustration is almost entirely on my side of the computer screen. Occasionally, however, it seems to impact neverland readers.  One reader has repeatedly pointed out that the automatic program for verifying that people who attempt to comment are, indeed, human beings, can sometimes present such blurry and obscure text to try to decipher that it’s nearly impossible.  Sorry for that. I wish I had some control over those things.  I also recently discovered that someone attempted twice to post a comment on a recent session of gushing of mine over reigning (for one more day) homoerotic wrestler of the month, Austin Wolf.

Austin Wolf not masculine?

I approved the comment, after some pause, however I don’t see it anywhere on the blog itself.  It’s in my “approved comments” list, but doesn’t show up in any post I can find.  The pause came because I’ve been rejecting comments lately that seem to me to be bitchy criticisms of wrestlers’ bodies or personalities.  Too fat.  Too skinny.  Not butch enough.  I know that a lot of the homoerotic wrestlers I write about also read this blog, and I don’t want them reading that crap.  But I went ahead and approved this comment that referred to Austin as “sexy enough, if only he weren’t so femme in person…. He is not nearly as masculine as the image he is trying to portray,” the commenter reported.  There’s just so much there to think about.  Setting aside my first question, “when have you seen him in person?” and my second question, “isn’t every expression of masculinity (or femininity) an image, a mere portrayal, or as Judith Butler has called it, a “performance?”  Whatever.  So Austin isn’t as masculine in person as he seems to appear on camera.  I guess my real question is, so what?

Rusty Stevens: masculine enough for you?

Now I’m not trying to take this commenter to task.  At all, really.  I approved the post because it provoked me to think deeper about masculinity in homoerotic wrestling.  I mean, sure, hypermasculinity is a pretty well-worn trope on our scene, so I would be entirely unsurprised to discover that any number of the meanest, baddest, most dominatingly butch heels in homoerotic wrestling history are, in their personal lives, light in the loafers and sassy as blown glass.  I don’t care what they may get up to on their own time, I might say.  Just tell me that powerful story of domination and submission, power and suffering, agony and arousal that I love so much, and what do I care how far from the mark that wrestling persona is to how they act when their sipping apple martinis at the piano bar?

Xavier: Does body hair make the man?  Big muscles?  Facial hair?

But even that isn’t really where I settled with this comment about the purported incongruity between Austin’s presentation of masculinity on and off camera.  No, I found myself challenged by the idea of masculinity itself.  We’re clearly not in a post-gender age, of course, but as for me (and I’ll speak solely for myself here), I’m not sure I’ve got the clearest hold on what comprises the polar opposites of masculinity and femininity as far as homoerotic wrestling goes.  I know of big, burly muscle bear-looking bruisers who snarl and spit and I think, hot damn, that’s one hot bit of masculine hunkiness!  But if the same burly bear wears a pink cardi and giggles like a girl when Glee comes on, I’m still fully prepared to objectify him as a no-holds-barred object of my lust.

Lon Dumont: Smooth as a baby’s bottom and over-the-top masculine in the ring.

And there are relatively petite, smooth, boyishly beautiful wrestlers who wink and grin, and when slam an opponent into the turnbuckle or bash him across his knee in an over the knee backbreaker, I think, hot damn, that’s one hot bit of masculine hunkiness!  Deep bass Boston voices.  High pitched Southern accents.   Pretty in pink.  Dangerous in black.  Go-go-boy.  Construction worker.  Limp wrist.  Football fan.  Facial hair.  Man-scaped.  Do they have a cock and tell me a hot, hot wrestling story?  I’m in.

Damien Rush was quoted recently as saying, “Let me smother you with all my masculine hair!”

So if Austin Wolf cracks an opponent’s spine over his knee, claws his crotch mercilessly, then schoolboy pins the punk with his big, gorgeous cock slapping the loser’s cheeks back and forth, and then gets up, showers off with 5 different skin care products and quotes Bette Davis movies over cosmos with all the rest of the girls… well, fuck.  It just occurred to me that I think that’s even HOTTER!

Tell me again how I’m not masculine enough for you, bitch!

Homoerotic wrestling likely reifies stereotypes of masculinity (and, by default, femininity) in many, many ways.  But I think, and I hope, that it blurs some of the old standby stereotypes as well.  I like the idea that the same mass of 6’4″ sculpted muscle can threaten to rip an opponent’s head off in a camel clutch and the next day sing along with show tunes in the car as he goes antiquing with his gurl-friends. I harbor a deep seated and not at all sublimated sexual fantasy of the rise of the muscle sculpted sissies who may be as pretty as a prima donna, but will fuck you up in a heartbeat in the ring.  Maybe I’m too old.  Or too young.  Or just don’t have the good taste to want to cling to the sharp, clean lines of gender stereotypes any longer.  But even if Austin Wolf were a flaming queen, he’d drain me dry time and time again as long as he racks another wasted loser across those mile wide shoulders of his.  Hell, I’d pay a premium, in fact!

Ask Hoop right about  now if Austin is masculine enough for him.

Cross-Pollinating

wrestlebard8 Comments

Joe’s post this morning was serendipitous.  As is so often the case, right about the time something occurs to me regarding homoerotic wrestling, Joe has just posted on the topic.  In this case, I was even thinking of the phrase “cross-pollination,” as I reflected on the tempting allure of playing the game “what-if” with the chess pieces of homoerotic wrestlers from different production companies.  Regular readers will be quick to point out that I’ve bemoaned too much of a good thing in the past.  I’ve been quick to complain about “over-exposure” of wrestlers appearing everywhere at once, showing up simultaneously featured in new releases by competing productions.  But if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: I see no virtue in constancy, and like so many great men before me, I’m willing to allow that my opinions on important subjects “evolve.”  Whether today’s post is evolution or merely me reveling in my own self-contraditions, only time will tell.  However here’s my theme for today, picking up on Joe’s introduction of the topic of cross-pollination: which brand-loyal (for now) homoerotic wrestlers would I most like to see matched up against each other in cross-production matches?  Considering only the boys who I’ve only seen (or remember) wrestling for one and only one homoerotic wrestling company, here are the dream matches that are making me reconsider the moral good of cross-pollinating wrestlers.

Austin Wolf (6’4″, 235 lbs) v Diego Diaz (6’3″, 185 lbs)

For example, my first pairing for this mental exercise is the hypothetical match that really started me down this path.  Thunder’s Arena has a new stunningly handsome muscle giant by the name of Austin Wolf who grabs me with both hands and turns my crank hard! Wow, just… wow.  His dismantling of fellow Thunder’s rookie Hooper absolutely enthralls me.  It’s a catchweight scenario. Little Hoop is just fucked from the moment he walks on the mat and looks up, up, up at the bottom of Wolf’s chin towering over him.  Wolf’s look completely delights me.  A big, long, giant of a man who can pack on aesthetically luscious muscle mass is just priceless.  And that’s when it hits me.  Austin Wolf will never be fully realized in my mind until he climbs into the ring against BG East Latino beauty Diego Diaz.  I have no idea what would happen next.  Although essentially eye-to-eye, Diego is giving up a reported (but I’m skeptical) 50 pounds, though his conditioning looks far superior to Wolf’s.  I have a hunch that Austin Wolf would not be tossing around Diego like a sack of potatoes!

Archer (5’9″, 150 lbs) v Michael Vineland (??)
Another Thunder’s exclusive who demands a double-take from me everytime I run across an image of him is tatted young muscle stud, Archer.  This boy can sweat, and I could spend days studying every carved, cut muscle on his gorgeous body… with my tongue.  I swear this kid does to me what Brad Rochelle did to me the first time I saw him on the splash page of BG East.  Fun and games and fratboy hijinks will surely keep me tuning in for more of Archer at Thunders, but holy hell in a hand basket, just imagine this mouthwatering kid climbing into the Pro Sex Fight ring with Can-Am exclusive, Michael Vineland. There’s some inevitability about that match-up.  For example, at some point devastatingly handsome Archer is going to be sniffing balls with his head trapped in a long, slow face-to-crotch headscissors between Michael’s incredibly huge quads.  And there’s no way Archer won’t, at some point, be tied in the ropes in the corner and getting his sweat soaked muscles alternately stroked and pummeled, most likely with his cock and balls hanging out the front of his trunks.  And sure, someone’s getting fucked, and most likely he’ll return the favor.  But still, the journey along the way with these two would absolutely demand me pull my wallet out.
Victor Paz (6’2″, 172 lbs) v Jimmy Clay (??)
Two more brand loyalists (as far as I know, please correct me if I’m wrong!) that I’d love, love, love to see “cross-pollinate” are BG East rookie Victor Paz and Can-Am sex fighter, Jimmy Clay.  Jimmy talks a good game and has a lovely body, but he’s more pornboy than homoerotic wrestler.  That fact is precisely what makes me absolutely ache to see him step onto the mat against laser-focused MMA hardbody, Victor.  Jimmy would be all about the camera angles (which I’m not knocking him, mind you… a boy who thinks about precisely how sexy this will look on camera is golden in my book).  He might get some early offense, locking up Victor in a sloppy headlock.  But the shitstorm that would rage all over Jimmy’s fratboy porn-body for the next 45 minutes would be absolutely epic! Victor nearly took down Eli Black with legitimate skill, stamina, and strength against a wrestler who epitomizes all three of those!  Poserboy Jimmy?  Holy hell.  But if anyone could grind his ass into Victor’s crotch and get a rise out of the stunning MMA stud, I’m betting Jimmy could make a mat loss turn into a win-win-win (that last win is for me and you) scenario with Victor.
Lon Dumont (5’7″, 150 lbs) v Coupe (6’1″, 215 lbs)
BG East fixture, Lon Dumont + Thunder’s Arena goofy boy: Coupe = Match made in heaven.  Both of these hardbodied hunks are competitive bodybuilders.  They both inspire infinite wrestling fantasies that keep me sated in between actually watching their respective matches.  Lon is not a man who suffers fools lightly, and Coupe, at least in the context of Thunder’s is the classic medieval fool: jokester, self-depracating, silly, out for a laugh.  Now put these two great tastes together, preferably in the ring, and you’ve got muscle bashing beauty with stamina to keep wrestling for days and days!  While Coupe is a half a foot taller and around 65 pounds heavier than Lon, there’s no way in hell that he’s coming out with any shred of dignity left.  The relentless destruction Lon would rain down would be infinitely varied and delivered with the precision and perfection of a consummate professional.  Exactly how it would go down, I’m not sure, but I strongly suspect 2 things: Coupe tied up in the ropes and Coupe balling like a baby.
Cratos (5’9″, 200 lbs) v Kid Karisma (5’8″, 170 lbs)
My reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, Cratos, looks incredibly familiar to me, but for the life of me I can’t place where I may have seen this hot and handsome hunk before.  So as far as I know, he qualifies as a Thunder’s exclusive and eligible for this little game I’m playing today.  What brand-loyal wrestler from another company would be my ideal to meet Cratos and do some cross-pollinating?  I can’t think of a more perfect opponent for my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month than my reigning overall favorite homoerotic wrestler – non-pornboy, BG East’s exclusively, Kid Karisma.  I’m picturing Kid K welcoming Cratos to his first ring match.  I’m also picturing Cratos totally indignant at the raging ego and contemptuous disdain that oozes from Kid K’s every pore.  I’m also picturing this as a serious battle of muscle and determination.  Details? I have no idea, which is what makes this such a fantastically provocative pairing.  However, I have to believe, right near the end, we’d see the karismatic one’s crotch planted across Cratos lips.  Prove me wrong, Cratos.  Prove me wrong!
Tyrell Tomsen (5’11, 185 lbs) v Alexi Ivanov (6′, 170 lbs)

The final pairing that occurred to me was BG East’s resident adonis, Tyrell Tomsen, facing the Russian battleboy, Rock Hard Wrestling’s exclusive, Alexi Ivanov.  Again, both of these men rock me hard, although in different ways.  Tyrell is just a fucking god, full stop.  I think if I ever actually met this man in person, I’d melt away in a pool of mindless lust.  Alexi, on the other hand, compels me from a different angle.  He’s got a drive and personality that keep me tuning into watch him despite his lackluster performances thus far in the ring.  There’s story in his eyes that begs for more definition and attention, and putting him in the ring with the chiseled muscle god Tyrell seems to me to be a beautiful intervention to aid Alexi’s full emergence into the world of homoerotic wrestling.  Don’t even think this is anything but a rip ‘n’ strip match.  And you know that lovely, rippled, lean Alexi is going to spend hours racked across Tyrell’s thigh in an OTK backbreaker (or 20).  But possibly, just maybe, the divine beauty of Tyrell bashing him from corner to corner might just awaken within Alexi the Drago-within, because you and I also know that this kid is a genetically engineered erotic-wrestling-sleeper-cell left over from the cold war and surely and inevitably designed to go nuts all over some entirely naked muscle boy (aka, Tyrell) and own his ebony body tied up in the ropes and tortured to exquisite perfection.  I swear, that’s all inside Alexi’s hot-yet-wooden wrestling body, just waiting to explode all over Tyrell’s bulging pecs.

Who are the brand loyal battle boys you’d like to see cross-pollinate all over each other?

Dinner Date Chosen

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Cam’s the dinner date of choice!
The commanding winner in the reader’s choice poll to determine which homoerotic wrestler readers would most want to have visit their homes for dinner was none other than wrestling hunk extraordinaire Cameron Mathews.  He crossed the finish line with 36% of the vote, which is a decisive testimony to the loyal fans he’s earned from working that gorgeous bubble butt of his off from coast to coast and production to production over the past decade.  He held steady at or around 50% of the vote through most of the two days that the poll was open, in fact, looking like he was going to blow away his next closest competition by more than double.  However, just this morning, with mere hours left to vote, shit got interesting!
Skip convinces Christian that he’ll show up for dinner with a fan too!
That’s when fierce little scrapper Skip Vance put out a message on Facebook lobbying his fans to mount a come from behind maneuver on Cam (and who among us haven’t fantasized about a come from behind maneuver on Cam!?).  Skip offered one fan selected at random to be treated to a dinner made by his own hands if he ends up on top of the polls once all is said and done.  He instantly got a bump, pulling ahead of Kid Karisma for second place.  When Skip added that both he and former homoerotic wrestler of the month and Skip’s lover, Christian Taylor, would sit down to said dinner with the randomly selected fan, the sprint to the finish line was on! He began to close the distance with Cam at such a pace that I was seriously beginning to suspect a photo finish.  While Cam limped across the line with the decisive victory, nobody was stronger around the last turn than hot and eager Skip! As to whether he’ll still auction off a dinner date, we’ll have to wait and see.

Kid Karisma can’t believe you left him in 3rd place!
Third place winner and party-boy muscle stud Kid Karisma has got to be scratching his head right about now wondering how he not only got outpaced by Cam but blown-by flat footed by late bloomer Skip! Somehow, I’m guessing with his life-of-the-party karisma and astonishingly sexy body (look… at… that… ASS!!!), Kid K has never been short of dinner invitations. If he’s ever in need of a hot meal and adoring company, he’s got a place at my table anytime.  As for restraining myself from putting my hands on those glutes, no promises, Kid K.
Dinner? Steel Muscle God Dan may be too busy being worshipped!
Not surprisingly, Steel Muscle God Dan had a very solid showing in the poll. It’s not surprising because if you spend any time at all at steelmusclegod.com, you pick up on the fact very quickly that Dan’s got a worldwide following of extremely rabid fans who are very, very loyal to SMG.  If he’d put out the call to his worshippers to really mobilize the vote, I strongly suspect he’d have put some hurt on even Cam.  I’m not too worried that SMG’s ego will take a hit for not winning the reader’s choice poll here. He’s got muscles of steel, for god’s sake, and the self-confidence to strip naked and demand to be worshipped.  However, if he’s ever in the neighborhood and feeling peckish, he can take solace in the fact that I’ll be more than happy to set another place at the table.
“A Fabulous Dinner Date!”
Through back channels I was delighted to hear that Lon Dumont had an opinion on the matter.  His opinion was, of course, that he’d make a “fabulous dinner date!”  He also mentioned that since he’s been dieting like a fiend in preparation for the bodybuilding season about to commence any minute, he could seriously put 2nds and 3rds away right now, so plan ahead if you invite him to dinner. Lon knows that he has a standing invitation to my table, and I’m also ever ready to apply his instant tan all over every inch of his body before any and every competition (which wasn’t up for consideration in the poll, but I just wanted to make that point clear).
Not everyone could handle an evening with Eli Black
I’m guessing Eli Black knows full well why he didn’t win.  You were too fucking scared of him! Truth be told, despite his expansive ego and fiercely competitive spirit when it comes to absolutely everything, I just bet that the Shutdown would completely charm the pants off you if you had him over for dinner.  Of course, the poll wasn’t about who you’re ready to take your pants off for, but even keeping my pants on, I’d be delighted and honored to pass Eli the mashed potatoes.
Darius “BMG” is looking for a taste of SMG!
Darius had a solid showing in the poll, reflecting what I happen to know is a loyal base of fans who’ve been wanting to see more of this Black Muscle God – more screen time and more skin! Darius let it be known that he doled out his vote for Steel Muscle God, because despite SMG being a no-show to face Darius stateside, Darius still has his sights set on an epic showdown between the Steel Muscle God and the Black Muscle God. Fuck the poll! I’ll push my furniture to the walls to watch that battle of the gods live!
Is that Chris Isaak? No, it’s hot jobber Ken Canada!
Long-time friend and contributor to this blog, Stay Puft, let it be known that he simply had to register his vote for energizer bunny and possessor of endless hotness and stories of hotness, Ken Canada. He never picked up traction in the polling, but I have to agree with S.P. when he points out that Ken’s sense of humor and enthusiastic understanding of the eroticism of wrestling would make him a truly entertaining dinner date!
Cage Thunder is busy serving up some meat of his own
I happen to know that Cage Thunder registered his vote in the poll for Lon. Get those two bull dozers on the same page and I can’t imagine what tag team would dare step foot in the ring with them.  But around the dinner table, I can’t help but figure that meal would go into the wee hours of the morning as these two profoundly reflective men trade wit and wisdom from never-ending reserves.  Personally, I’m a little astonished Cage Thunder didn’t show better in the polling, and I have to chalk it up to Eli’s theory that there were just a whole lot of you too damn frightened to sit across the table from him.  Not me.  He’s got a standing invitation at chez Bard.

Don’t bother Ben with dinner invitations.  He’s building a wrestling career, people!
The rookie sensation with magical lips, Ben Monaco never managed to build a head of steam in voting.   Big Ben is brand spanking new to the industry, of course, so pitting him against absolute fixtures in homoerotic wrestling like Cameron Mathews was always going to be an uphill battle for him.  My educated guess is that Ben isn’t surprised at all that he wasn’t the top vote-getter, and if anything he’s just that much more eager to plant his hot ass on another opponent’s face and absolutely make you forget all about the rest for a moment and marvel at him as he tests what he’s got against the best at BGE.  Ben knows he’s just at the beginning of an incredibly sexy, demanding journey into our hearts, but as for me I’ve got a casserole and a bottle of wine just waiting for him.

Reader’s Choice Poll – Dinner Date

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When asked which presidential candidate they would prefer to visit their home for dinner, 52% of respondents named President Obama, compared with just 33% of them selecting $omney.  Personally, I think this is the most useless polling question to be asked every four years, but sadly the American electorate seems to consistently prioritize this kind of popularity contest over actual qualifications for leading this country (foreign policy experience? a grasp of the legislative process? the capacity to make life-and-death decisions with regard to the use of military power and weapons of mass destruction?  no, we’re more likely to vote based on who we’d prefer to have dinner with… oy).  That’s enough of my political analysis for today, other than to alert my Swedish readers once again that if Tax-Dodger $omney is elected in November, I expect one of you to sponsor me as a political refugee.
I say let’s save such weighty questions like who we’d prefer to visit our homes for dinner for really important matters, like considering our favorite homoerotic wrestlers.  Sure, dinner table repartee isn’t exactly all that relevant to what compels us most in picking our homoerotic wrestling fare, but I still say it’s more relevant to wrestlers than politicians.  So this reader’s choice poll asks you to consider who you’d most prefer to have over for dinner.  I’m limiting the field to those who’ve demonstrated at least a little of their communication skills by being interviewed on the pages of this blog.  You can nominate someone else in the comments below, but the names on the poll are strictly drawn from the “friends of the blog” on record. This is about the dinner table, mind you.  Don’t base your choice on who’d you prefer to make you suffer in a head scissors in the living room after dinner.  We’re talking about an evening absent of actual wrestling (though of course the dinner conversation is entirely available to muse on the topic).  We’re also not talking about who you want to fuck.  This is an evening in which no semblance of sexual contact is going to happen.  You can decide how to instruct your dinner guests with regard to attire, so you can eye-fuck them across the table all night long, but physical contact is limited to handshakes and, let’s just say, a lingering, full-body hug to say goodnight (no ass squeeze!).  The real question is who would you like sitting across the table from you to talk with, to ask for their insights, to tell them what’s on your mind, to wax philosophical about wrestling or politics or religion or whatever topic the two of you want to talk about.  So that’s the background.  Here are your choices of dinner guests:

Lon Dumont: the first wrestler to grant me an interview a year and a half ago, Lon’s body and wrestling skills have earned him a permanent spot at or very near the top of my favorites ever since I first set eyes on him.  His ring banter was one of the most entertaining and arousing aspects of his work that captured my attention and keeps me coming back for more.  But his interview was a revelation into the diverse passions and thoughtful, open-minded outlook on life that make me think Lon would make an absolutely delightful dinner guest. Topics you would most likely find yourself discussing: bodybuilding, pets, indy wrestling, homoerotic wresting, hairstyles, freedom from religion, and Rocky.

Ken Canda: this classic from the early days of BG East has his picture next to the definition of the phrase: hot jobber.  His wrestling is foundational watching for those with any interest in seeing the evolution of the pro wrestling babyface jobber into an entirely unique and incredibly arousing fixture tailored to the tastes of the gay wrestling kink audience.  No, you DON’T get to pound him in an OTK backbreaker and claw his balls, though under different circumstances, I suspect he may very well be open to it (so save it for your second date).  But as evidenced in his extensive interview on the pages of this blog, Ken is happy to stroll down memory lane and tell you absolutely intoxicating tales of behind the cameras shenanigans from the early days at BGE, including delightful descriptions of every wrestler he faced and just how incredibly arousing it was to be brutalized over and over again.  You will hear about the esprit de corps that forged bonds of brotherhood and homoerotic beauty among the men who truly enjoyed each other’s company on and off camera, as well as the insights of a fellow wrestling kinkster who continues to live and love the eroticism of wrestling whenever he gets the chance.

Kid Karisma: As he explained in our interview last January, there’s a reason the Boss gave him the moniker Kid Karisma! While you won’t have the chance to get your hands on that legendary muscle ass of his over dinner, you can get lost gazing into those baby blues and have your feet swept right out from underneath you (metaphorically) by that sly, sideways grin and a wink from the man who is as charismatic as they come! He’ll entertain you with the extremely hot candid photos he takes with his phone, and just between the two of you, he’s likely to spill all the dirt on the best, baddest, horniest and hottest action to go on behind the scenes at BG East. I recommend not serving your best china, because I’m guessing this insatiable party boy could be dancing on the table before dessert!

Eli Black: a wrestling match with this hot young phenom would put you on your back in a heartbeat, but a no-holds dinner date with the boy wonder would, no doubt, just as surely keep you on your toes.  As I learned first hand in our interview last February, he’s got an in-your-face charm that I personally find completely disarming, but don’t let your defenses down too quickly.  Eli is not a man to be trifled with, and polite chit chat about the weather or the price of tea in China will earn you a withering insult and sneer of contempt.  But if you’re up for a dinner guest who loves a debate, who wants nothing more than to meet the man who’ll give as hard as he gets, and who never, ever tires of talking about the most important topic of all: himself; then Eli may be your man. I’m also guessing he’ll have his shirt and pants off in a heartbeat if you show a little interest in his ink (but remember, you don’t get to touch, just admire hands-free).

Steel Muscle God “Dan”: SMG rocked my world when he agreed to chat with me about the life of an online bodyworship phenom with an innate understanding of wrestling kink.  While you are not allowed to lick his steel muscles from head to toe during this dinner date, I guarantee you that you’ll feel a stirring deep down in your pants the moment he opens his luscious lips and growls out his erotically charged baritone.  Seriously, this man oozes sexiness. He could make me cum by reading the phonebook, and I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t come back for more of the same as soon as I reloaded.  Although you can’t touch it, SMG is an unapologetic exhibitionist, so whatever attire you specified, plan on seeing him take it off before the meal is over.  Be prepared to laugh a lot, because he’s got an entrancing sense of humor, and he’s the only hot bodied hunk I know with both the balls to take our money to worship his naked body AND poke fun at himself.  Conversation is likely to revolve around friends, working out, and censorship on the net, but seriously… just shut the fuck up, watch his gorgeous lips move, and let that voice transport you to your fondest fantasies.
Skip Vance: although I haven’t enjoyed a full-length interview with him yet, Skip did considerately take  the time to give me some on-the-record feedback on my take on his real life lover and rumored-to-be tag team partner, former homoerotic wrestler of the month Christian Taylor.  An unapologetic jobber with a crazy lust for getting his hot bod bashed mercilessly, he’s off limits for you to dish out any of your own corporal punishment you’ve been inspired to fantasize about after watching Skip at work! But I can guarantee you that you’ll definitely hear him gush about his life of domestic bliss with Christian (including their private wrestling routines), his fierce lust for wrestling, and the catalog of crushing humiliation he’s suffered at the hands of… well, everyone!  Don’t be surprised to also get a strong dose of workers’ rights and musings on healthy cooking, because he’s one well-rounded babyface masochist!

Ben Monaco: in our interview in June, Ben gave neverland readers a glimpse into what it’s like for a new kid on the block to get “discovered” by the star-makers at BG East.  His hungry lips are completely off limits to you this night, mind you, but perhaps you’ll decide to serve popsicles for desert so you can watch him wrap those baby’s around something long and suck it hard.  He’s a new face in the homoerotic wrestling universe, but I can assure you that you’ll enjoy plenty of delightful insights into erotic wrestling from him.  Ask him about the gallons of sweat he drenches his opponents with… go ahead, I dare you, because after listening to him describe his body slipping and sliding across his opponent’s drenched muscles, you’ll be politely excusing yourself to take care of a pressing need that’s arisen in your crotch.  If you can convince him that you can keep a secret, he’ll tell you straight up who’s doing what on camera and off, and he’ll give you his unvarnished opinion on the ranks he’s still working to rise within.

Cage Thunder: my interview in July was just the tip of the iceberg about knowing the man beneath the mask.  You know you want him to knee you in the balls and crush your face into his crotch as you grovel in front of him, but none of that is allowed on this dinner date! So take a cold shower and pick out your finest mask to wear, because Cage Thunder is a class act who’ll demand the best.  Points of discussion to prepare for: wrestling, gear, New Orleans, erotica, boys he’s bashed, boys he’s still waiting to bash, the existential implications of all of the above… If you’re daring, though, you’ll just mention the name “Mitch Colby,” and then sit back and watch the sparks fly for hours on end!

Darius: also granting me an interview in July, bodybeautiful private wrestling hunk turned BG East muscle beast, Darius would be a charming dinner date, I’m certain.  There’s just something about him that makes me think of the word “gentlemanly.”  If it’s the custom in your house, I expect he wouldn’t think twice about taking his shoes off when entering.  Hell, tell him it’s the custom in your house and I bet the beautiful hunk of muscle would take all his clothes off to show you your proper respect, because he’s not shy for an instant about showing skin! Working out, the underground wrestling circuit, his plans to destroy SMG in body and soul… all these are likely topics you’ll cover over the course of the evening, but the only thing you’ll remember when the napkins are put down and the last of the wine gone is falling into those gorgeous eyes and watching his knee-buckling sexy lips move as he talks to you.  Go ahead and tell him it’s the custom in your house that dinner guests flex for their dessert. Darius is not a man to neglect the niceties! 

Cameron Mathews: just last month I interviewed your final option for a dinner date with a homoerotic wrestler.  I know you want Cam and Lon to show up together, preferably to reprise their indy wrestling days and wrestle one another in your living room, but it’s not going to happen this time! If it’s Cam who strikes your fancy, just remember you can look at that legendary bubble butt, but you can’t touch! He’s pretty much the epitome of a babyface, but don’t think for an instant that you’ll have some naive kid tucking his napkin in his shirt and asking you to pass the ketchup for his filet mignon.  This veteran of nearly every production company across homoerotic and straight-up independent wrestling known to man has seen it all, and if you’re ready to show him his proper respect, I bet he’ll keep the conversation lively with stories from the long road of making a living with a passionate love of wrestling, a hot body, and boyish good looks. If you’re looking for reflections on post-Marxist critical philosophers, Cam may not be your man, because he lives, breathes, eats and drinks nothing but wrestling, my friends.  But if it’s every aspect of wrestling from coast to coast, hardbody to doughboy, ring to mat, jobber to heel that will delight you, then you can’t go wrong with picking Cam.

Register your vote at the right. Only one vote per person (this is highly scientific!). Polls close in 2 days. Lobbying for your choice in the comments below is strongly encouraged.

Right This Moment!!!!

wrestlebard4 Comments
Over the past three and a half years, I’m proud to say that neverland has been fortunate to be able to bestow the title of “friend of the blog” upon several worthy men.  Many of them include some of my very favorite homoerotic wrestlers who’ve given us a wink and a nod by sharing a comment, a candid pic, and even more than a handful of interviews.  So when word started coming my way from friends of the blog that there were about to be some exciting happenings in Pembroke this weekend, I got that warm feeling that comes from appreciating good friends (and, oh yeah, anticipating hot, blood-pumping homoerotic wrestling!).
Sexy rookie and friend-of-the-blog Ben Monaco
Ben Monaco was first to give me a heads up that he had a plane ticket in hand, bound for Boston and some muscle pumping BG East wrestling shoots. Quoted here, with permission:

“I’ll be heading down to the Pembroke location for the first time in about 2 weeks! I’m really excited! It’s like a visiting a holy-land 😛  I’ll be down there with what promises to be about a dozen guys, a mix of old and new faces. Some names swirling around for that weekend include Christian Taylor, Skip Vance, Lon Dumont and Gabriel Ross among others. Rest assured that upon my return, I’ll have plenty of tales to tell and stories to share. Expect to see great matches from myself and all the other guys down there!”

Skip and Christian practice for tag-team competition!

And sure enough, within a day or two Skip Vance confirmed on his Facebook page that both he and his real-life lover (and former homoerotic wrestler of the month), Christian Taylor, were booked for a trip to BG East to film some matches.  Even more titillating and grist for many a wet dream, Skip had advertised a few weeks earlier looking for a tag team willing to face Christian and him together! I’ve been pleading for this very scenario for months now! Knowing that Skip and Christian are partners would add that much more fantastically sexy drama to a tag team match. Seriously, I almost offered a financial reward to any real-life lovers who would accept the challenge to face them! I might still be willing to! Skip promised me that he’d share some details after the weekend is over, and I’m desperately hoping to hear that he and Christian climbed into the ring together to face off against another pair of hot and horny-for-each-other hunks for a sweaty, bulging, preferably rip and strip match to a load blowing finish!

Then late last night I got this pic and this message from Kid Karisma:

Pumped and primed to do some damage: friend-of-the-blog Kid Karisma

“Heading to Boston to do some damage for the weekend!!!”

Yes, indeed, in addition to the line-up rumored by Ben Monaco, add to that list my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler and dizzyingly sexy party boy/muscle dominator: Kid Karisma!!!  I offered some completely unsolicited armchair advice to the karismatic-one about choices of gear and my suggestion that his monster quads and legendary glutes never look better than when he’s applying a standing leg scissors.  In response, Kid K pointed out that his legs are bigger than ever as a result of being in the middle of his rugby season and simultaneously training for a half Iron Man! Let’s just recap: Kid Karisma’s pride-and-joy legs are bigger than ever as he, at this very moment, his hammering down on some insanely lucky son of a bitch at the BG East compound!!? Like Skip and Ben, Kid K swore to give me what details the back office boys at BG East would allow once he’s back from Boston. I’m also lobbying to see those larger-than-ever quads of his. Stay tuned.

Stone-cold tease and friend-of-the-blog Lon Dumont

Finally, I reached out to long-time friend of the blog and perennial top-tier elite favorite homoerotic wrestler of mine, Lon Dumont, to verify whether there was any chance that he was, as rumored, on the ticket for action in Pembroke.  Cagey as always and a stone-cold sexy tease, Lon replied:

“Why yes, there is that chance!”

So once again, let me just recap, because I can hardly believe how hot this news is: at the very moment I write this, assembled at the BG East compound are, among many others, Ben Monaco, dripping in pools of sweat and hopefully laying a lucky opponent out in an aroused stupor with his devastingly hot lip-lock; Skip Vance and Christian Taylor who may (or may not) be about to appear in their first lovers tag team match (and if there is a homoerotic wrestling god, they’ll be facing another pair of sexed up lovers!); Kid Karisma flexing his larger-than-ever quads around the skull of some ridiculously lucky son of a bitch; and Lon Dumont who, I happen to know, is essentially moments away from entering the bodybuilding contest season and looking bigger and more ripped than ever in his life, and now showing up to blow apart some new opponents.  I couldn’t make up a hotter scenario.  I’d give my let nut to be a fly on the wall in Pembroke at this very moment! I’d at least give my undying loyalty and affection to see some behind-the-scenes shots of this incredibly intoxicating collection of fantasy men who have inspired countless hours of erotic entertainment and a parade of gasping orgasms punctuating a life of total devotion to homoerotic wrestling! There’s a reason Ben and I both consider the BG East compound the holy land.  That many homoerotic wrestling gods assembled in one place is nothing short of heaven!

Gabriel Ross: Let’s be friends!

And finally, don’t think I didn’t note the inclusion of reader’s choice winner for sexiest Brit on the BG East roster, Gabriel Ross, in the rumored roster pounding flesh in Pembroke this weekend!  The Boss promised (check out the comments section here) that the angelic little devil, Gabriel, was slated to cross the pond and face some of the domestic brewed hotness that BG East serves so well, including one of our (and specifically MY!) favorites!  I’m incredibly excited to find out if the pint-sized (but monster-dicked) babyface sado-masochist will be appearing in a new release soon, and who gets the lucky assignment to show him some hands-on Yankee hospitality!

Seeing the Lights on the Ceiling

wrestlebard3 Comments

I resist the strong temptation to select homoerotic wrestlers of the month as a lifetime achievement award.  Some work horses in the business have been consistently wrestling high quality matches for the long haul, but for my of-the-month title I try to consider only the matches released within the past month.  Cameron Mathews (listed also as Cameron “Matthews”) has been starring in inspired homoerotic wrestling matches for over 7 years since he debuted with BG East, including 25 matches in the ring, on the mats, in the gazebo, and in two of his own Wrestler Spotlight compilations. I’m not sure exactly when he started wrestling with Thunder’s Arena, but he’s appeared in an astonishing 25 matches for them, as well.  15 Cyberfights, 3 Can-Am matches, and directed and starred in 4 “East Coast” battles distributed by Can-Am.  This incredible list doesn’t even broach the subject of his mainstream indy pro wrestling resume (mostly because there’s just too many matches to count, but also because it’s fundamentally a step to the right of where my primary tastes lie).  If I ever start awarding lifetime achievement awards, Cameron is obviously an instant favorite!  But in the of-the-month head-to-heads, July 2012 was the month that Cameron twist-tied the competition around the ring post and came out on top as far as entertaining me hardest.

Cameron claimed the title and wrapped it up in a bow.
Sporting an astonishingly sexy body that’s miles away from this long, lean, even skinny days as a rookie, Cam owned my adoration for teaching fitness model goldenboy Austin Cooper to think twice before he climbs into the ring with an indy pro veteran.  While true, Austin ends up with his boot planted on Cameron’s chest, pumping out a victory flex, I’ve got eyes and ears and a hard-on primarily for the power, beauty, and above all, the story telling of my homoerotic wrestler of the month, Mr. Mathews.

Cam’s the man making Austin flinch in anticipation of his next beating
Warming my heart and turning me on even harder, I got a message from Cameron about a day after awarding him the title.  Like Cage Thunder last month, Cam thanked me and not-so-subtly pointed out that “it’s about time.”  Knowing that he’s reading neverland only cements my infatuation and loyalty for Mr. Mathews.  His willingness to join the conversation and grant me a brief interview demonstrates that he’s not only a hunk, not merely an outstanding ring wrestler, not just in possession of a world class ass, but he’s also a gentleman who’s got his fans in mind as he does his thing.  Here’s a glimpse of what’s going inside the head of the reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, Cameron Mathews.
——–
Cameron Mathews – Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month
Bard: Thanks for agreeing to take some questions for neverland readers on the occasion of being selected as the reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month! Finding out that a favorite wrestler reads my blog fills me with both excitement and dread. If there’s anything I’ve written about you in the past that’s pissed you off, I apologize! Now, I know you’re busy, because you’ve got to be the hardest working wrestler on the planet! I only halfway track your live pro wrestling events, but with the amount of airtime you’ve had on DVD and internet wrestling sites, it seems like you’re wrestling 24/7! What keeps you focused and getting your butt back on the road for your next match?

Cameron gets creative all over Austin’s back

Cameron: I think what keeps me going with wrestling is that it is fun. Even when I have a “bad” match I still have fun. I enjoy being creative. I enjoy being the first, or one of the only people who can do things. I like learning. There’s always something to learn and always something to improve on…or try doing differently.

Bard: Very cool! Your creativity and innovative spirit is clearly evident to me! Speaking of butts (see how I worked that in so smoothly?), yours generated a collective gasp, sigh, and then several grunts from the legions of gay wrestling fans the first time we saw you wrestling for companies like BG East, Thunder’s Arena, and Can Am. Do you wrestle any differently when you know that your audience is primarily gay, as opposed to when you’re doing shows in front of (presumably) straight audiences?

That….. ASS!!!!!

Cameron: Ha-ha on the smooth transition. The matches in front of a live audience have to be more varied than the studio matches due to time restraints, audience attention span, and other factors. Pro matches are expected to be exciting and quick, especially on television. With a studio match you are able to tell a better story. More drama. More detail. I prefer longer matches.

At least on camera, Cam gets “impolite”
with fitness star Rio Garza.

Bard: Me, too! I love a good story and lots of drama in wrestling, and I think you’re one of the best at doing just that. I’m guessing that you must be good to work with, because you’ve worked with pretty much everyone and they seem to keep asking you back. Based on that premise, I’m also deducing that you’re a genuine professional, in the best sense of the word, and you probably don’t often talk shit about other wrestlers. So I won’t ask you to name any names… just tell us some backstage dirt on some of the boys you’ve worked with. You’ve wrestled everyone!

Cameron: I try to be a polite when I’m in new places. I am actually probably the one you hear stories about [laughing]. I am passionate about wrestling. As for the other guys, that is their business. There are guys out there that I do not get along with. Both in pro and studio. I try to remain professional and polite. It doesn’t always work.

Bard: Very diplomatically stated! Surely you can name some names when it comes to who’s been the best to work with. I interviewed Lon Dumont a year and a half ago, and he certainly speaks highly of you. Do you strike up any real friendships with other wrestlers in the crazy busy schedule you keep?

Cameron and Big Sexy stay in touch.

Cameron: As for some people I’ve become friendly with, Big Sexy is a good friend and badass fighter. Lon was my first real pro wrestling trainer when I was 14. He’s actually helped get me in shape. Coupe from Thunders is a great guy. Zman is always fun to be around. Always smiling and wanting to try crazy wrestling ideas. Jonny Firestorm is probably the person I most relate to. Just really started to chat and hang out with him more often. Aryx Quinn and I stay in contact. He’s always traveling North America. I enjoy all the guys who run the products. They are all unique and smart men.

Bard: Good to hear! That’s a diverse collection of guys that you’ve connected with. So your physique in your newly released match with Austin Cooper for Babyface Brawl 2 is astonishing! Not that you haven’t always been a stunning looking specimen, but damn! Have you been on a new diet or training differently lately? Do you see the transformation in yourself that so many fans have been appreciating?

Lon Dumont whipped Cam’s muscles
into shape (and charged him for the privilege!)

Cameron: Like I mentioned, Lon worked with me on a diet and workout plan. Even charged me! I actually got “too lean” so I stopped doing the diet. Well-worth the price though. He is extremely talented.

Bard: I seem to remember from Lon’s first BGE match him explaining, “I don’t just give this away for free.” Apparently that goes both for flexing and for training! I’m sure you hear more than you can stand from fans and critics about what they want to see more of from you. Armchair critiques (and I freely admit I’m one of the worst offenders) seem to have a never-ending stream of opinions about wrestling and wrestlers. From your side of the equation, though, what would you like to see or hear more of from fans of wrestling? More praise? Less pirating? More appreciation for the athletes, the injuries… what would you wish for fans to “get” more about the work that you do?

Cameron: I’ve been wrestling professionally for like 12 years now and I just read from a blogger that I was “green.” He reassured everyone who read that I had lots of potential and was good. I’ve been told I am good. I’ve been told I suck. I’ve been told I am good…all in a few weeks by different pro wrestling “names”. If I suck, tell me why I suck. I’ve always disliked hearing that there was nothing that I could’ve done better…because that was a lie. With that being said, if you don’t like me tell me what I can do better. If I’m good, tell me you like it. I don’t know what people like. I know what I’d like to do or expect to see…or not expect to see. It’s all trial and error.

Bard: That sounds like a healthy and extremely mature attitude. I’ll take that as my cue to keep reviewing and critiquing (and praising!) your work. Like I said when I named you reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month at neverland, I love your sense of humor, your rocking body, your awesome sell… you’re a star, which makes your willingness to take a few questions from me an absolute thrill for me. Is there anything else that you’d like to say to your gay fans out there that have been dropping me notes over the past few days telling me that it’s about goddamn time I recognized you as homoerotic wrestler of the month?

Cameron: I received a text from Al in New Jersey to check out the blog. I read the article and looked at the sidebar but didn’t really “catch on” until the end. It was very cool to be given that honor…and it only took 7 and a half years to do it [laughing]. I actually texted Lon about it.

Bard: Well, in my own defense, I’ve only been blogging for 3 years, and I’ve only been naming homoerotic wrestlers of the month for 2 years. But your point is well taken and something I’ve heard frequently from your fans in the past couple of days. It’s about time you got your well-earned honors!

Cameron: As for my fans, whether gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, asexual or undecided…I just am glad that I have been allowed to live the dream of being a pro wrestler and seeing the world. I don’t think I could’ve done so much had I not been exposed to wrestling, both pro and film. So thank you for letting me see the lights, even if they are on the ceiling.

Bard: I’m a huge fan of wrestlers being exposed! And I’m officially a huge fan of yours. Thanks a lot, Cameron!

Joshua Goodman is hell-bent on giving Cameron more exposure!

Cameron: I’ll also be opening a new site sometime but thats neither here nor there. Thank you again.

Bard: I look forward to hearing about the new site!