Category: Lon Dumont

Hurricane Morgan

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Morgan Cruise – 5’8″, 170 pounds – eyes on the prize
Morgan Cruise hit the ground running when he first arrived at BG East. Unfortunately for Morgan, he ran straight into a wall of competition grade granite by the name of one of my long time favorites, Lon Dumont.  One the one hand, Morgan is never subtle. Reports are that he showed up at BGE with his gaze fixed on becoming one of the greatest heels of all time.  The Boss put him in the ring with Lon Dumont who looks as though he’s a beautiful, bronze, shaved lightweight gym bunny ripe for a rising heel picking. Morgan quickly discovered in Rookie Wreckers that looks can be deceiving. Lon spent more than a decade in professional wrestling rings in independent productions, typically being a notorious badass and all around champion heel. With infinite (and incredibly sexy) patience, Lon taught Morgan just a taste of all he had yet to learn if he were ever to realize his dream of competing as a legitimate heel.
I’d give my firstborn to trade place with Morgan right here!

Regular readers will be unsurprised when I say that as delightfully as Morgan suffered, I had a majorly tough time ripping my eyes off of g-g-gorgeous Lon! Good god that man grabs me like few others! I do remember that Morgan sweat like a dirty pig (hot, hot, hot!) and showed some sweet, lustful delight in putting in a respectable power offense for just a bit of the bout. Sure, I could picture this hot, hairy kid growing up and becoming a sexy heel someday. But I get the impression that “someday” is not in the Mastodon’s vocabulary. And I had no idea that the boy with an 80’s mainstream pro wrestling muscle body was also an extremely quick study.

Morgan’s passed his heel-in-training qualifying exam all over Eli Black’s bashed body

By the time he climbed back in the ring with 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month, ripped gladiator Eli Black for Gut Bash 9, Morgan had not only learned his lessons, he’d mastered them, improvised on them, and showed true genius in both beating Eli to a pulp and showing off Eli’s phenomenal physique like a savant!  Against Eli, Morgan was dominant, brutal, and provocatively sexy as hell!

Morgan is THRILLED to deliver naked backbreaking bashing all over Demian Rush!

So I altered my picture of how Morgan might fit in the homoerotic wrestling universe. Clearly, we wouldn’t have to wait around for him to grow into a sexy heel.  He’s still so young, but fuck all if there’s not an old, vicious, soul-crushing heel living in that beast of a body!  So I figured we’d see Morgan hit the muscle taming circuit for a while, perfecting his craft, playing up the eroticism of trunks-on wrestling for gay eyes. But for his next appearance, he climbed into the ring with trust-fund baby muscleboy Damien Rush (upon whom I had an instant, blinding crush), and proceeded to strip the gorgeous rookie naked and deliver a muscle pounding in the buff.

Flexing naked over his crushed opponent, Morgan is THE MAN!
Good god, man! Strip Stakes 3 transported me back over a decade, reminding me of the thrill of watching the likes of the Brooklyn Bodywrecker toy with, delight in, and ultimately get off all over another frat boy. I’m not exaggerating here. Morgan pulled out nearly all the stops and I swear, as far as I’m concerned, he joined the ranks of the seriously hot heels.  Sweating every bit as much as before, totally naked and furry all over, Morgan is about 10 times more handsome and 100 times more worship worthy once the gear is off and he sticks around to deliver extra credit punishing humiliation.

Morgan stretches Diego Diaz long, long body to it’s gorgeous limits

So it makes complete sense that he skyrocketed to his own Wrestler Spotlight last month after only 3 matches to his name. Morgan’s Spotlight is one erotic epiphany after another. He starts off manhandling the long, tall drink of water Diego Diaz who has an eye on Morgan’s championship belt. What’s he champion of? Who the fuck cares?! Diego wants to see that belt buckled around his own six-pack beauty. I LOVE the look of Diego. I love his insanely long limbs, sculpted torso, handsome face, bushy hair and sexy, deep, accented voice. When he delivers some early punishment and a first shocking submission on Morgan to grab the belt and admire himself with it in the mirror, I admit I found the drama extremely compelling. I hope for big, big things from that big, big sexy man. But seeing Morgan hammer, slam, and beat the living shit of him all over and outside the ring is a thing of profound beauty. He stretches every incredibly long inch of Diego and then serves him up for us like a mouthwatering turkey dinner. Awesome. Simply awesome.

No shit! Pec claw push-ups on rookie muscle farmboy, Tony Law.

I have no idea where Tony Law has been hiding, but I’m extremely pleased that he’s shown his big, beefy, farm boy body in the BG East ring, and even happier that he debuted his luscious muscles and rocking ass against the rolling stone of Morgan Cruise! I’ve since learned that this is not the first time Morgan and Tony have wrestled (more on that later), which may explain that frightening lack of all humanity in Morgan’s absolute destruction, obliteration even, of the blond babyface with tree trunk thighs. For Tony’s sake, I hope he knew just how vicious the Mastodon could be, because this is a marathon shit kicking session!

Morgan looks ready to orgasm, riding muscle hunk Chace like a broken bronco
And speaking of marathons, in the finale to Morgan’s Wrestler Spotlight, he and Chace LaChance version 2.0 go at it so long you’d better pack a lunch and plenty of fluids! I still think Chace needs to face Lon Dumont in the ring, because it’s my armchair opinion that the tweezed pretty boy cost the two of them a humiliating tag team defeat in Tag Team Torture 12. Perhaps Chace’s newfound prime beef is in anticipation of his date with destiny in facing bodybuilding champion Lon (I can hope!). In the mean time, Chace pulls of some impressive offense against the rising tide of Morgan’s heel aspirations. But at this point, Morgan is just unstoppable. He’s also incredibly entertaining to watch along his journey to cement himself as not only on the list of sexy heels, but climbing those rankings. When he’s got that lustful, dreamy look in his eyes, clearly huffing on the scent of humiliation dripping off of a withering opponent, he’s a true wonder!  Any bitches even dare to suggest that he needs to shave or manscape more aggressively just sit right back down. Morgan is transported directly off of nationally televised professional wrestling badassness from exactly 27 years ago today, and hairy legs, pecs, pits, and pubes are 100% Morgan Cruise sexy heel fantastic!

Master Kevin and Morgan flex off

Others already knew Morgan from before he knocked on the door in Pembroke, from his self-promotion campaign as a teen bodybuilder to be worshipped on YouTube. I’ve since also discovered that his frequent competition for teen muscle worship fanatics, Chaoserver aka Master Kevin has since teamed up with Morgan (and Damien Rush and Tony Law!) to produce some sexy west coast independent wrestling of their own. More to come on this front soon, but I get the impression that perhaps the Mastodon may need a new nickname. Something like Hurricane Morgan. Because he’s nothing short of a terrifying, unstoppable force of nature these days!

Built for bare-assed muscle destruction.

Roadmap

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Thunder’s Arena’s Coupe shows off his vascularity
As I mentioned in my last post, there’s a lot about Thunder’s Arena’s Coupe that turns me on. I could go on for days about the intoxicating brew of his freakish physical development mixed with self-depracating humor and a strong chaser of insecurity. I could linger for hours at a time over the gargantuan slabs of beef that are his glutes. He sports the proportions of a superhero, ripped from the imagination of some barely suppressed gay comic book artist. But for today, I’m captured by the effect that Coupe’s vascularity has on me. The ropes of thick veins stretched across his arms and shoulders drive me nuts!
BG East’s Lon Dumont is shredded!
In Rookie Wreckers 1, Lon Dumont is in astonishing shape. His body is straight out of my college anatomy and physiology textbook. On the road to competing in several bodybuilding competitions soon after his humiliation of the beefy beauty, young Morgan Cruise, Lon had already whittled away every gram of body fat, until there was just nothing left but his gorgeous, smooth skin stretched across his skeletal muscles. With simply no padding, you can clearly see the sharp edges of his joints, the lay of the muscle fibers themselves, and the spiderweb of veins feeding his awesomely pumped muscles. With hunky Morgan tied up helplessly in the ropes and forced to watch, Lon took an opportunity to practice some of his mandatory poses. Admiring his own side chest pose, Lon marveled at the roadmap of striations and veins carved across his cut pecs. “Look at that!” he demands of Morgan, in awe at the sight of his own astonishing fitness.
Thunder’s Arena’s King Conan: built to impress (and crush)

Aussie pro bodybuilder, Conan at Thunder’s is nearly too big for my tastes. If I had a man this size inviting me to worship his physique like the god he most certainly is, I almost wouldn’t know where to start. However, I think I’d figure it out, and veiny ropes bulging just beneath the skin would hold my attention for quite some time. And speaking of holding, I’d go deep into debt to pay every penny it would be worth to have Conan lock my head between those veiny thighs in a deep, suffocating face-to-crotch scissors and have him dick whip my face.

BG East’s recent masked muscle freak discovery, Magnus, left me nearly as much in awe of him as that lucky bastard gym bunny, Surge. All that beef hanging from Magnus’ legs require thick, bulging veins to supply his quads, hamstrings and calves with the nourishment they need. Damn, that’s hot!

Can-Am’s Steve Sterling – tags and bags his opponents with
his overwhelming muscle development

Can-Am’s classic muscle beast, Steve Sterling, had a gorgeous… well, a gorgeous everything! But in the heat of competition, when he’d strain and flex and inevitably outmuscle the lambs led to slaughter in front of him, the veins in his arms would swell to the surface and bring me, like so many of his opponents, to my knees.

Thiago’s muscles look ready to explode as he counters
Jobe’s oh-so-tight rear bearhug

Can-Am’s Thiago Diaz‘ upper body is jaw-droppingly sculpted. The muscle mass he carries on his arms, shoulders and chest is almost unbelievable. I almost wonder if he’s wearing some blow-up muscle suit to explain his astonishing thickness (not to mention the muscle that’s challenging the seams of his trunks!). When Thiago flexes, straining to power out of a fiercely intimate rear bear hug by sadist cockmaster, Jobe Zander, the vascularity that flares up across his upper arms and shoulders pushes me right to the edge of self-control (and frequently right over the edge).

I’m on the record for being turned on by a diversity of bodies. It isn’t that the details don’t matter to me, but that I’m a fan of all sorts of packages for each set of sweet, provocative details they have. By no means do my wrestling turn-ons require bodybuilders to satisfy what ignites my erotic tastes. Lean meanies, beefy bruisers, tasty twinks… hairy, smooth, pretty boys and ugly mugs… fratboy loveliness, perfectly seasoned maturity… I’m blessed by all sorts of buttons that ignite my homoerotic wrestling fantasies. Gorgeous, bulging, pulsing veins rising to the surface of a rock hard body is right up there with some of the qualities that turn me on the most.

Year in Review – 2nd Favorite Moment of 2011

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I knew with complete certainty back in February what one of my most favorite moments of this year would be. Lon Dumont contacted me right around the New Year, thanking me for my “kind words” about him here at neverland. Barely daring to hope, I broached the topic of possibly granting me an interview. I was ecstatic when he said that he’d be happy to do so!

Lon Dumont – A Fan Favorite

It took us a while to arrange the details. Two busy schedules. Two different time zones. But when I finally sat down to chat with my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy division) and current homoerotic wrestler of the month, it was like reconnecting with an old friend. Lon was playful and charming. He took my star struck praise in stride. He offered some keen insights into the secrets of his wrestling success, born out of a prior career in indy pro and a flat out superior intellect. Lon was self-effacing in a way that sucked me in, and then cocky as hell in just that way that blows me away every time I see him climb into the ring and weave his mind games on his outmatched opponents.

In the ring, Lon is all business.

When I raised the topic of being an object of passionate lust from a cadre of homoerotic wrestling kink fans, Lon’s libertarian spirit shined through endearingly. “I’m just glad I can make somebody happy,” he concluded, summing up his attitude about being adored as a hardbodied homoerotic wrestler. Needless to say, my interview with Lon Dumont, like every second I’ve seen him in the ring, made me wildly happy and cemented itself as one of my most favorite moments of the year while there were still 10 months worth of moments yet to experience.

Lon Dumont is making somebody (me!) very happy.

I enjoyed a string of personal contacts with several homoerotic wrestlers this year, each one of them sending my heart racing with excitement. Frankly, most of them happened in back channels, and the wrestlers in question, while gracious and engaging, preferred not to have our exchanges quoted on the pages of this blog. While I won’t violate anyone’s confidence (and this is a MAJOR priority throughout all aspects of my life), I will divulge the undeniable fact that I have yet to communicate with a homoerotic wrestler who is anything other than gracious, appreciative of this fans, and that much sexier for it in my book.

Rugged Action

In September I enjoyed the opportunity to pick the brain of yet another wrestling kink artist, the creator of the Rugged Action homoerotic wrestling comic, Dan. Just like with Lon, Dan was downright gracious and delightful to interview. Chatting with Dan was like opening Christmas presents: I didn’t know exactly what to expect with each question I asked, but as he unwrapped his responses and reflections, each one was more delightful than the last. I curse the gods that I have absolutely no talent with visual arts, but this absence of talent on my part makes me only that much more grateful and inspired by Dan’s art. His translation of homoerotic wrestling into comic art is entirely sufficient to get me off any day of the week. It speaks to exactly my wrestling kink, and discovering several places where the development of Dan’s passion for wrestling overlaps with my own biography explains a lot, I think. Our creative talents may lie in different arenas, but we share plenty of inspiration in what fires up our erotic imaginations.

Ken Canada day dreams about climbing into the ring with
hot, hard hunks.

This year was capped off with a completely unexpected and hot interview with the handsome BG East classic jobber, Ken Canada. Out of the blue, Ken dropped me a few notes to let me know that my infatuation with Joshua Goodman’s package (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) is something that we share in common.  I quickly followed up with an interview request, and not only was Ken up for it, he was eloquent, eager even, in sharing both his memories of his jobber days at BG East as well as his ongoing lust for homoerotic wrestling. And just like with Dan, I found myself finding all sorts of unexpected overlap between my personal history and Ken’s account of discovering the joys of homoerotic wrestling.

I know that not all homoerotic wrestlers care to go “on the record” for a fan interview. The declines I’ve received have been gracious but firm. But I hope to snag more interviews in 2012, getting to know more of the homoerotic wrestlers that inspire, provoke, and drive us to heights of ecstasy!

Year in Review – 3rd Favorite Moment of 2011

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Every so often, I take heat for the opinions I express here at neverland. Most of you fine readers, even when you disagree with me, demonstrate class and grace in pointing out where you believe I’ve missed the mark in identifying the hottest trending homoerotic wrestling. Every so often, however, I’ve been accused of a variety of insidious, irrational vendettas against one wrestler or another, or one match or another, because I didn’t show it the proper respect in the pages of this blog. On just a few, rare occasions, the criticisms have veered toward personal attacks, questioning my integrity, sanity, or intelligence. In late spring of this year, I polled a few of my fellow homoerotic wrestling bloggers to discover that I’m not alone in this experience. So in response, I began collecting testimonials from bloggers and regular commenters, exploring what should be the most intriguing and delightful part of wrestling kink sensibilities: our diverse tastes.

JoFX is right up Joe’s alley

Posting the “Diverse Tastes” series this summer was most definitely one of the top highlights of my year. As I suspected would happen, posing the simple, straightforward question “what turns you on?” sparked a beautiful variety of responses from the assembled voices. Joe at Ringside at Skull Island kicked the series off with interests ranging from Mighty Mouse to Stoney Hooker to just about any tall, dark Italian with a pronounced adam’s apple, a slightly convex and strong belly, hairy chest, small ears and big nose.

Randy Orton makes SP feel randy.

Regular commenter and, since then, fellow homoerotic wrestling blogger Stay Puft followed up with an erotic taste range that still makes me gasp. Where Joe drilled right down to the prototypical object of his lusts (acknowledging that he’s fickle and refuses to be pinned down… unless you earn it), SP’s tastes stretch from TNA Wrestling’s Daffney to Jamie Scott of Grafitti6 to Kate Beckinsale to Big Rob Terry. What readers of SP’s blog, Inner Jobber, will quickly point out is that while variety is clearly the spice of SP’s life, he’s got a special place for a certain Randy wrestler fantasy man.

Pablo Martin has a big hunk of wood between his thighs!

Bruno of Beefcakes of Wrestling offered a contribution to the series that introduced me to instant infatuations in the form of Spanish language soap hunks William Levy and Pablo Martin. This is what I love about lots of eyes on the prize in homoerotic wrestling! Without the discussion, the mutual respect and the genuine interest, I might never have “come across” smoldering William and Pablo. On my to-do list for 2012 is to introduce these two hunks to the brutal world of the Producer’s Ring!

Dante Rosetti demonstrates exactly what AH likes to see.

And yet again, regular reader and commenter AH contributed to the series from an entirely different angle. For AH, the question focused him on the particular hold that makes homoerotic wrestling the tastiest for him: the slow, withering sleeper. The drama of the sleeper touches the core of AH, as the crowd watches a muscled warrior get the consciousness squeezed out of him like juicing a lemon… the ref raises a hand that drops limply to the mat… the victim’s eyes flutter as he’s held upright entirely at the mercy of the man with the bicep pressed against his carotid.

Fashion models David Gandy and Noah Mills star
in Metellus’ and my homoerotic wrestling imaginations.

Co-author and commenter Metellus added to the series with some specific recommendations of wrestlers that he likes, with a common theme of nice bodies, nice faces, wearing trunks and jobbing. Metellus also raised the topic of media, noting the particular allure of homoerotic wrestling fiction in his repertoire of wrestling kink delivery for its capacity to incite his imagination to go where live action has yet to take him.

Cage Thunder relishes “the turning point.”

Wrestling stud, Cage Thunder who journals online about homoerotic wrestling, succeeded in yet again stroking my wrestling fantasies with his contribution to the series in which he focuses much less on the body or the hold, but the attitude and the moment in a match that send him over the edge. Cage Thunder keys in on the moment when the tide has once and for all turned, that point in the match when one wrestler has built up just too much momentum to be denied, when there’s more wrestling to happen, but it’s icing on the domination cake from that point forward.

Choices, choices, choices…

The final installment of the Diverse Tastes Guest Series came from the wicked sharp insight and creative mind of blogger Manof1000Holds, the author of Wrestling Arsenal. Having been at this homoerotic wrestling blogging longer than most (all?), Manof1000Holds knew exactly what I was talking about from around 5 seconds into my explanation of the concept of the Diverse Tastes series. And like a cruise missile, he zoomed in on the heart of the matter. Each of us, everyone one of us, has our triggers, our short hairs, the little moments and scenarios that set our hearts pumping the hardest. So he created a Cosmo-style quiz for readers to take to assess their own profile. Now, some could take the idea of the quiz too seriously and get bent out of shape about being pegged as one thing or another. But that’s the piece of this puzzle that I think all of my guest contributors get (and just a couple of readers haven’t quite cottoned onto yet): essential to fully appreciating our wrestling kink diversity is a healthy sense of humor. It’s all fun, or at least it all should be fun, as far as I’m concerned. It’s all about seeing reflected back from the wrestling drama in front of us something about our own fantasies, our own vulnerabilities, our own idiosyncratic longings that we have to hold gently, with some humility and a lot of kindness for our ourselves and others.

Regular star of my favorite wrestling fantasies: Lon Dumont

What all of my guest contributors this summer proved was that the homoerotic wrestling universe is beautifully varied and populated by fans and wrestlers that run the full gamut of bodies, holds, venues, gear, and scenarios that our powerful homoerotic wrestling imaginations can devise. I’m humbled by the wisdom and generosity of my fellow writers, and their contributions as a whole most definitely rank among my most favorite moments of this year!

Exceeding Myself with Happiness

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Friend of neverland, AH, commented on my post about Lon Dumont last Friday, saying, in part:

“…I hope that Lon is as turned on by your words as you are turned on by his methodical manhandling of his opponents!”

It’s no secret that I’m turned on by Lon’s ringcraft in the extreme. I can only wish such passionate pleasure on my dearest friends. I was nursing a bodybuilder wrestling fantasy before I first saw Lon displaying his gorgeous physique in the BG East ring. In fact, bulging, expertly crafted muscles, paired with championship indy pro ring skills and a wicked sharp wit was starring in my wrestling kink imagination for a majority of my life. Lon’s arrival on the scene at BG East was an epiphany, the alignment of stars, a fantasy man climbing out of my erotic longings and into the ring. True enough, it’s only now that he’s officially my homoerotic wrestler of the month, but he owned the title long before I actually saw him leave big, sweaty Eddy Rey hanging defenseless in the ropes, watching Lon pump a sweetly peaked bicep in his dumbstruck face.

While I don’t know what’s turning Lon on at the moment, I do know that he read my latest post. I also know that he’s a genuinely gracious muscle hunk, because he generously forwarded me these pics from the culmination of months and months of obsessive physical training as he competed in several bodybuilding competitions this season.

The pro tan seems oppressive for those of us unaccustomed to the particular tastes and demands of the competition bodybuilding scene. However, I’d drop a paycheck to be the one to finger paint the shiny, brown pigment across every bulge and in every nook and cranny. Reports are that Lon’s trophy case is completely maxed out after competing in multiple shows this season. His hot muscles understandably earned the respect of plenty of judges.

As much as his on-stage side chest pose impressed the judges, I have to say, his side chest pose in the ring, with one boot planted victoriously into the back of writhing Morgan Cruise is about 50 times more awe-inspiring for my tastes.

The pro tanned, slicked up sculpture of Lon’s double bicep in physique competition is hot, but the image of him lifted off his feet in a full nelson and forced to pump out the same pose in submission to beefy Eddy Rey is off the charts!

With the stage lights glistening off his obliques, there’s no denying that this single bicep shot is a work of art. But hot damn, Lon gazing lovingly at that same bulging bicep even as he threatens to snap Terry O’Daly’s knee off in the ring is simply incomparable!

No doubt about it, I love hot, muscular, beautiful bodies like Lon’s.  Competitive bodybuilding’s insistence on slicking their muscle men up with baby oil and stripping them down to minimal posing trunks makes the sport one of the most spectacular spectator sports ever dreamed up. But anything, anything that happens under the bright lights of non-contact bodybuilding is mind-blowingly eroticized (even more) when a hot, handsome, hard muscle man is transported into the wrestling ring.  Lon would be a fantasy man based solely on his razor wit and aesthetic proportions, without a doubt. But he’s reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month because he’s all that and a sexy ass pro wrestler, too!

Happiness Is…

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Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month –
Lon Dumont
I had an instant crush on homoerotic wrestler of the month, Lon Dumont, when I saw his BG East debut in Fantasymen 32.  Lon’s cocky swagger and clear, strong voice, paired with his beautifully sculpted body and fully formed wrestling persona had me riveted before big Eddy Rey even showed up ringside.
Lon cuts big Eddy Rey down to size
When Eddy finally arrived, Lon continued to captivate me by taking the lead in the dance of establishing the plot. Eddy encouraged Lon to continue with his posing routine, but Lon refused with a snort. “People pay to see me flex,” he explains. Lon wasn’t about to just give it away for free. When Eddy proposes that perhaps he might just make Lon flex for him, Lon put his hands on his hips and tilted his head to side, thinking. When he acknowledges that Eddy is a tall drink of water and calls him, “Sprout,” I both laugh and grow even more aroused at the same time.
Eddy obediently flexes for Lon
In short order, Lon confirmed my fondest hope.  Via a blindside assault on big Eddy, Lon demonstrated with brutal grace that he has not only the body, not only the persona, but also the ring savvy and wrestling skill to deserve my firmly established fanaticism. On message like a bear trap, Lon made sweaty Eddy flex his hot muscles over and over, wringing one submission after another out of the big man. Lon was patient but firm as he physically and psychologically broke down big Eddy, systematically transforming him from an over-confident, hard-bodied hunk into a whimpering, obedient, defenseless plaything.
As documented here at neverland, each and every new release from Lon Dumont makes my heart flutter like a star-struck schoolgirl. I most appreciate his rookie wrecking work, such as beating down to size the likes of big, dumb (and presumably full of cum) Terry O’Daly and, most recently, hairy bruiser Morgan Cruise. Big, strong, barely legal studs like these are genetically predisposed and socially trained to believe that they deserve to come out on top over smaller, more mature opponents. Handsome, letterman jacket-wearing sides of beef grow up unfailingly reinforced in the faith that youth and size merit victory when they stand, flexing, side-by-side with the likes of 5’6 and 15/16″ tall, 150 pound, 30-something opponents. When Lon picks them apart like Thanksgiving turkey leftovers, you can see their rookie worldviews come crashing down around them.  As Lon cuts them down to size and then lifts his right boot, pauses as he takes aim, and then stomps all over them, tenderizing their cornfed muscles from head to toe, the likes of Terry and Morgan learn that the real world will not be handed to them on a platter just because they’re big, fit and young.

Ripped Lon and partner Chace LaChance

Versatility turns me on, as well, and my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month can tell more than one story. Teamed up with too, too tweezed go-go boy rookie Chace LaChance, Lon was also convincingly one half of pretty-in-peach, going down in two out of three to big, nasty Donnie Drake and his sadist apprentice, Doug Rand. Babyface heroes who battle valiantly but are bested by crafty shortcuts and vile double teams are beautiful to behold. When Lon is knocked out cold and laid out defenseless and vulnerable next to his pretty partner in the middle of the ring, all that gorgeous muscle so helpless and humiliated makes me gasp.

Joe’s huge thighs crushing Lon’s armored core
And speaking of gasping… when I interviewed Lon earlier this year, I asked him what it would take to be bested in a singles match. “Perhaps someone with a 100-pound weight advantage might have better luck,” he answered bluntly, “but besides that, I just don’t see it happening.” Perhaps going on the record like that gave the boys at BG East a devilish idea, because the next time we saw Lon climb into the ring, he was face-to-face… or perhaps, face to sternum… with 6’2″, 240 pound Titan, Joe Robbins. Bigger men have gone weak in the knees in the shadow of humungous Joe, but Lon is a study in self-control. Whether Lon’s prediction from my interview was playing through his mind as Joe wrapped his tree trunks around him and crushed him into sobbing agony, I don’t know. But while nearly 100-pounds of weight advantage did, indeed, blemish Lon’s undefeated 1-on-1 record, Lon proved that he’s not just entertaining when he’s large and in charge. He’s a vision, suffering for days, enduring boatloads of pain for a marathon session of gut abuse that incredibly reluctantly wrings a string of submissions out of the bodybuilder. When Lon is gasping, clutching his rips, slumped against the ring apron, his loss to Joe is just one more check in the win column when it comes to confirming my lustful devotion.
Picture perfect Lon rips Terry O’Daly’s knee off

Not everyone is turned on by what I’m turned on by, but one thing that defines this blog and my lust is wrestling. And Lon is first and foremost a sexy-ass wrestler. Just like his stomps, his masterful application of joint wrenching submission holds is brutally graceful.  The rookies that Lon excels in destroying are typically ham-handed, a little awkward as they work themselves into position to snap on a Boston crab or have to use trial-and-error to figure out the most effective angle to work a bearhug. Lon, on the other hand, slides like liquid gold into position. He knows just how far a knee will bend, just how much tension a back can take. He’s such a technician that he can afford to be an artist as well, flexing his body just right, snarling beautifully, displaying his writhing opponent gorgeously for the perfect camera angle.

Like me, Lon can’t help but marvel at the
image of his complete mastery over Morgan Cruise

It was Lon’s deeply satisfying rookie wrecking of hairy chested bruiser Morgan Cruise that earned him, at last, the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month. The vision of Morgan’s Prometheus Bound performance nearly earned the rookie the reader’s choice as the rookie with the most potential. I, for one, am very, very keen to see Morgan and his cleft chin show up again to see if he can start to learn some of those lessons that Lon so patiently offered him. But as beautiful as Morgan’s destruction is, my eyes are stuck like glue on every flex, every vein rising to the surface, every angle of Lon’s body as he demonstrates his mastery of the ring and as he masters Morgan’s powerful body and so vulnerable soul.

Lon’s excellence of execution
There’s something profoundly erotic about a man who is completely self-possessed and in control of his emotions even as he administers debilitating doses of pain and suffering. This probably explains why I continue to enjoy Dexter so much (despite Michael C. Hall’s stubborn refusal to let us see his ass), and it most definitely explains, in part, why Lon captivates me so thoroughly. He’s a rational wrestler. He’s thinking as he’s applying that armbar. He contemplating the moral of the story, even as he’s threatening to rip poor Morgan’s head off of his neck. When Lon is finished with Morgan, he gives the wrecked rookie a thoughtful examination. It’s not personal. Hell, Lon even suggests that he’d be willing to entertain teaming up with beefy Morgan to continue to tutor the heel-hopeful.

Lon’s rippling abs, sculpted quads, bulding shoulders, rock hard pecs,
perfectly employed.

Lon has been working my wrestling kink like a champ from the moment his flexing image appeared on my screen. His charming interview from last February proved that Lon is a quality human being in addition to being a captivating homoerotic wrestler. He’s been at the top of my charts for a long time when it comes to my favorite homoerotic wrestlers (non-pornboys), and his destruction of Morgan Cruise’s body and dreams makes him, at long last and unquestionably, my homoerotic wrestler of the month.

Lon wrestles, flexes, and thinks his way to #1

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

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Knowing that democracy can be addictive, I realize that some of you may be disappointed that I’m unilaterally selecting my favorite homoerotic wrestler of the month this month. 116 readers registered their votes for last month’s homoerotic wrestler of the month in the first ever reader’s choice wrestler of the month here at neverland. To feed the democratic spirit and give you an opportunity have your voice heard, I’ll post a new poll for a reader’s choice award next week.

In the mean time, I’m returning to the one true through-line that connects all of the dots here at neverland: that which turns me on.  November saw a healthy, if not bumper crop of homoerotic wrestling new releases. Muscle hunk Jake Jenkins delightfully introduced “rookie” Eli Black to the high-impact, high-definition world of Rock Hard Wrestling. Expertly sadistic Jobe Zander introduced Jersey Shore rookie Derek Fox to every ball bashing maneuver conceivable in Can-Am’s Decrotchery 2.  Thunder’s Arena’s Eric Fury makes bubble-butted Uno hurt so good in bed with him in No Holds Barred 16. I’m also joining the chorus of Thunder’s fans almost giddy with lust over gigantic, gorgeous, muscle-butted rookie Boxxy, and in particular, I’m jonesin’ off of what he and bearded thighmaster, Rex do to me in Battle of the Scissors. BG East delivered an unexpected 0.2 iteration of catalog 89 in November, with fantastic performances from smoldering rookie Rafael Valmor and Blaine Janus in Undagear 18, as well as mind-blowing crushing from my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, non-pornboy division, Lon Dumont, delivering an unquestionably “badder” expert Rookie Wrecking against handsome, hairy hunk Morgan Cruise.

This is a hot, hot field of worthy contenders for the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month! Several of these sexy athletes have already proven themselves by claiming titles among my favorites in the past, and even more inspiring, the field is astonishingly strong in seriously impressive debuts of extremely entertaining rookies who are instantly on my radar to keep my eye out for. But there can be only one homoerotic wrestler of the month (ignoring last March), and truth be told, there’s one wrestler in this impressive field who just can’t help himself but command my attention and recur repeatedly in my wrestling fantasies. Step aside, Aryx Quinn, because the new reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month is…

Both reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month and title holder
as my favorite homoerotic wrestler – non-pornboy division: Lon Dumont.
…BG East’s Lon Dumont.
Lon was the original holder of the title as my favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy), and he’s had a crushing, unflinching hold on that title as impressively as he squeezes every ounce of breath and will-power out of rookie Morgan Cruise. His appearance in Rookie Wreckers nearly made me miss a day of work. I somehow restrained myself from calling in sick when the match arrived, but I’ve blown a whole lot of time and a whole lot of body fluids on Lon’s detailed instructional one-on-one workshop on heel-wannabe Morgan.

Lon employs every one of his stunning muscles to wreck the rookie.
Regular readers know that I was instantly and overwhelmingly moved by Lon from the very first glimpse of him forcing big, sexy Eddy Rey to flex in Fantasymen 32.  In Rookie Wreckers, he’s back, now with a full head of hair and possessing even more astonishing fitness and muscle definition than we’ve ever seen from him before (and that’s saying a whole lot!). He’s absolutely sculpted. He’s ripped to shreds. His already competition-worthy abs are cut even deeper, and his legs are bigger. And despite my ambivalence about Lon’s report that he was growing his hair back, a full head of hair looks just fine on this superhuman specimen.
Professor Dumont is a hands-on type of instructor.
I’m prepared to climb into the ring and crush anyone who thinks he deserves to be president of the Lon Dumont fan club more than me. And it’s not just because of Lon’s smokin’ hot, award winning physique. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: it’s wrestling that turns me on, and Lon’s wrestling is perfectly tuned to my tastes. Lon does to Morgan precisely what keeps me coming back for more from my homoerotic wrestling suppliers. He climbs into the ring supremely confident, even in the face of his bigger, furrier opponent. He lays out the story in simple detail: Morgan has arrived on the doorstep of BG East to be the next great heel, and The Boss has pulled in a favor to have Lon put the youngster through his paces to see what he’s got to back up his bravado. Lon always gives credit where credit is due, unreservedly appreciating Morgan’s big, hairy pecs that he is so, so proud to bounce in Lon’s face. And then Lon unleashes a crippling assault like a barrage of cruise missiles tearing the rookie apart joint by joint and limb by limb.
Morgan is a captive audience to Lon’s didactic delivery.
Lon is a patient teacher. There’s something incredibly hot about the calm, cool explanations that he gives to his pupil with each application of devastating humiliation, illustrating the marriage of art and science that is being an accomplished heel. Morgan is writhing in agony, clearly uncertain as to which end is up or where in the hell he is in the world from the expertly delivered barrage of punishment, while Lon is dispassionately delivering his “pointers” like he’s laying out a scientific proof. Lon’s cool, however, cracks just a bit. When he traps the big rookie helpless in the ropes, Lon generously gives the barely conscious rookie a front row seat to Lon’s mandatory bodybuilding poses (damn, I’d sell my firstborn to TicketMaster for that…). The point, Lon explains, is that Morgan’s rookie beef is laughable compared to the exquisitely crafted beauty and power of Lon’s competition-ready muscles. So if anyone is going to flex, if anyone has something to strut and crow about, it’s not some fresh-faced, green ROOKIE with VISIONS of SGT. SLAUGHTER!!!  It’s the proven talent, the weathered granite, the proportions and the skills of an indy wrestler with years under his belt and more tricks up his proverbial sleeve than Morgan has had birthdays.
Morgan squeezes some juices out of his bodybuilder tormentor.
The rookie eventually gets lucky and makes Lon suffer in a sensationally sexy series of bearhugs. Like the proven pro he is, Lon sells the taking of abuse every bit as beautifully as he dishes it out. But it’s Lon climbing back on top, flexing and squeezing, crushing and pounding, and pouring out wit and wisdom as unnecessary evidence that he’s smarter than your average bear, that supercharges my already deep reservoir of Lon Dumont fanaticism.
Lon glistens while Morgan withers.
There’s not an inch of this man’s body that doesn’t make me dizzy (including his perfectly packed trunks). There’s not a second of his tutorial on bewildered Morgan that doesn’t hold me riveted in my seat and sweating bullets. Lon Dumont makes me gasp. He makes me laugh. And more than any other of the very worthy nominees, he is without a doubt my homoerotic wrestler of the month.

The undisputed title holder.

More Making Somebody Happy

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Lon’s back bigger, harder, and with a full head of hair.

My fellow Lon Dumont fans likely have already taken note of the best news I’ve heard all month: Lon is back in a new release from BG East called Rookie Wreckers!! Yes, my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler – non-pornboy division, is back in ring action, sporting that full head of hair he hinted at in my interview many months ago, and looking unbelievably ripped!

Lon looks like he’s squeezing the produce in readiness to crush Morgan like a grape.
I’ll compose a full review in a few days, but I’m chomping at the bit to just revel in the thrill of seeing Lon back in the ring. Hot damn, this man turns me on and holds my rapt attention like the beautiful, cocky, incredibly hot and entertaining pro he is! Looks like he’s returning to those bygone days he mentioned in my interview of schooling up-and-comers in the harsh realities of professional wrestling. Beefy, hairy rookie Morgan Cruise seems like he could be a handful, even for the likes of indy wrestler turned competitive bodybuilder Lon. Morgan looks big and cocky, with nowhere near the level of peak conditioning that Lon is sporting, but big and strong enough to potentially do some damage on his smaller “trainer.”
Lon sets the fishhooks deep, ready to reel in the rookie and mount him over the fireplace.
Then again, Lon looks to me to be up to the challenge, and the collection is called “Rookie Wreckers” for God’s sake! I’ve been in sporadic communication with Lon in the months since our interview, and I believe that this match was filmed as he was heading into the current bodybuilding competition season. This would explain his truly astonishing fitness, notably harder and bigger than before. He’s seriously lean… like this-man-has-got-to-be-ravenous-for-some-carbs type of lean. If a miserable month and a half on the Atkins diet taught me anything, it’s that when deprived of carbs, a human being can get incredibly short-tempered, just a bit irrational, and down right nasty at the slightest provocation. All this might explain the look of terror, bewilderment, and semi-consciousness that’s playing across Morgan’s baby face in the first pics released from this match.
Who has striated back muscles!!!? Lon Dumont does!
Good God, who has striated back muscles!!!? And let me give an obvious nod to the continuation of my recent theme of asses that drive me insane. I doubt Morgan fully appreciates just how envious I am of the opportunity to feel Lon’s legs crushing his midsection and rearranging some internal organs. Lon’s incredibly high-quality physique paired with, what did he say, eight years in indy pro wrestling is possibly the hottest combination I can imagine in the characteristics that are sure to make me break a sweat. Add to all that a razor-wire wit and a knack for telling a story, and it’s no wonder that I’m ready to start a citizen’s initiative to name a holiday after him. I’m setting off some fireworks tonight in honor of Dumont Day in the WrestleBard household!

Asses Named

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So how did you do on our back-to-school edition of Name That Ass? Pull out your bubble sheet and let’s review the answers.
Ass #1 belongs to…

… BG East’s Cole Cassidy.

Cole’s body is sculpture. Every inch of him (at least every inch I’ve seen) is stunningly proportioned and absolutely perfectly Cole. That this perfectly tuned weapon is in the possession of such a sadistic heel ought to make much more competitive wrestlers than poor Brendan Byers quake in their wrestling boots. When Cole plants those muscled glutes across the mouth of devastated Brendan in their newly released match in Florida Fights 3, for that half a minute as Cole flexes and preens in victorious ecstasy above him, I’m bitterly envious of Brendan.
Ass #2 belongs to…

Rio’s got to have earned major frequent flyer miles getting that beautiful ass beaten from Florida to Boston to Los Angeles. He has some of the most loyal fans on the planet, and while I don’t consider myself a Rio devotee by any means, I unquestionably appreciate the aesthetic lines and sculpted contours of Rio’s beautiful body. I loved the concept of indy pros Cameron Mathews and Paul Hudson putting on a 2-on-1 clinic for Rio to tutor him in the arts of a professional-quality wrestling beatdown in Can-Am’s So You Want to Be a Pro Wrestler. Here’s another fantasy concept I’m just throwing out there… how about a rookie tutored by a pro and a homoerotic fantasyman? The pro beats him senseless and the fantasyman sexually dominates him.

Ass #3 belongs to…
… BG East’s Lon Dumont.
Ironically, the close-up of Lon’s ass appeared in the quiz right next to his image as my #1 favorite homoerotic wrestler – non-pornboy division in the right margin. In particular, Lon is pictured here crushing the skull of Doug Rand on opposite sides of their Tag Team Torture 12 encounter. Lon has been in sole possession of the #1 spot in my non-pornboy rankings for a helluva long time, particularly considering he hasn’t had a new release in a little while. And still, hands down, he’s my favorite for his equal portions of smoking hot competitive bodybuilder physique and wrestling kink golden pro wrestling persona and ring skills. I’m not ashamed to say I’m a little obsessed with Lon, particularly after our delightful interview earlier this year in which he revealed himself to be both everything that turns my on in a wrestler as well as a damn fine human being. For those who regularly write me, asking for any news of the hunk, I’m deeply thrilled to pass on three titillating tidbits I’ve gathered: 1) Lon has achieved even more stunning development of his physique as he enters the new bodybuilding season, 2) he is still sporting the full head of hair he foreshadowed last winter, and 3) he and his full head of hair and mind-blowing muscles will indeed be showing up again in action for BG East!

Ass #4 belongs to…

… BG East’s classic workhorse, Bryan.

This beautiful, blond stud seemed to have been marching arm-in-arm with Kid Leopard in the pioneering early days of BG East. I think he was never more arousing than when he was 100% pro, in the ring in boots and square cut trunks and slamming some hot, pretty young thing’s face into a turnbuckle. However, the matroom pairing of Bryan and a very young, tan, in the peak of fitness Brad Rochelle in the seminal edition of Ultra Fight is awfully, awfully compelling. Those are two incredibly notable asses locked together in one hot, ferocious battle!

Ass #5 belongs to…

…Can-Am’s Beau Hopkins.

I repeat myself when I say that his opponent in Supermatch 11, Tom Flex, knew exactly what he was doing when he locked his crushing legs around Beau’s narrow waist, squeezed until the dark, hairy hunk screamed out, and then yanked on Beau’s trunks so hard that they entirely disappeared between those astonishingly beautiful ass cheeks. This is also a reminder of the delights that we miss out on, with the absence of baby oil in homoerotic wrestling for many years.

So it appears we have our work cut out for us as we start the new school year. No perfect scores were recorded for this Name That Ass quiz. The eternal strengths-based instructor, however, I think that just leaves so much more room to improve and to grow in our expertise when it comes to the studied appreciation of homoerotic wrestling asses.

Bard’s Fantasy League Picks

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When Z-Man debuted with BG East 3 months ago, a regular reader emailed me to let me know just how excited he was by this news. He immediately speculated on who from the BG East roster Z-Man should wrestle next. Turns out, he hit the nail right on the head, proposing that a Z-Man v Kid Karisma bout would be over the top arousing.

Of course, now we know, Z-Man followed up his mat debut with BG East with a pro ring muscle match against none other than Kid K. Nice call, savvy neverland reader! And your prediction that a Z-Man v Kid K match would be smokin’ was perfect prognostication.

From a different angle, Cage Thunder recently called out both BG East rookie Austin Cooper AND proposed a detailed ring match scenario against Austin’s rookie buddy, Jake Jenkins. I’ve got a major league crush on Jake,  so Cage’s proposal to face him in the ring is fueling my imagination. Jake in white trunks with pale blue trim, then 30 minutes after stepping into the ring with Cage, stripped naked, pounded into a daze and helpless in Cage’s skilled hands… well, this concept is pure gold, in my estimation.

All of this speculation, proposal and prognostication sheds light on what I assume must be a nearly universal mental exercise that wrestling kinsters play: the fantasy homoerotic wrestling card. At least, I’ve been playing that game for as long as I’ve been erotically captivated by wrestling. I love that these virtual connections available to us now, like blogs and emails, give us the opportunity to compare notes. So, in addition to a Cage on Jake Jenkins ring strip battle, here are the current top 3 fantasy league homoerotic wrestling matches on my scorecard:

Lon Dumont v Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!)

I’ve fantasized about this combination long and hard. Not only would this settle once and for all the question of who deserves the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler – non-pornboy division (but remember, it’s about who turns me on the most, not necessarily who “wins”), I also think this would be an absolutely amazing mash-up of two delightfully different sets of assets.

Thiago Diaz v Brad Rochelle
I haven’t even had an opportunity to see if Thiago has anything at all to offer in the wrestling ring other than that fantasyman bod and that hefty package dangling between his legs, but I’m already lining him up for some rookie initiation. The return of Brad has been a long-held aching fantasy of mine (and many others, I know), and I think Brad working over Thiago’s muscles from top to bottom would be an earth-shaking combination of veteran fan favorite with jaw dropping rookie sensation.
Cody Nelson & Travis Storm v Kid Vicious and Rafe Sanchez

First of all, Kid V partnering with Rafe Sanchez has long haunted my homoerotic wrestling dreams. Second, I’ve nursed a whole lot of lust for a PG-to-R-rated evolution of the careers of pretty, innocent, eager muscle boys Cody and Travis. I picture this as both a coming-of-age wrestling scenario for the bright-eyed boys as well as Rafe’s first apprenticeship match, learning from the master of sadism himself.

What are your fantasy league homoerotic wrestling matches of choice?