Tag: Mitch Colby

Leaving My Photo ID at Home

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Completing what appears to be my trilogy of posts on my taste for mature beef, I have to slap down some enthusiasm for getting to enjoy homoerotic wrestling match starring long-time favorite wrestler around these parts, Mitch Colby.

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Former Favorite Homoerotic Wrestler and Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month and constant infatuation of mine: Mitch Colby.

Joe has already done the heavy lifting in introducing you to the Catchweight 6 match featuring magnificently muscled Mitch swatting down irritatingly cocky Billy Lodi. I’ll just paint in around the edges a little where my long-standing Mitch-lust demands that I send up a little worship. First, there’s the little tidbit that Mitch tends bar where his wrestling fans seek him out. Why am I cursed to live in the wrong geographical location to appropriately stalk the homoerotic wrestling icons that command so much of my lustful attention!? The fact that Billy tracked him down to challenge the bare chested beauty behind the bar to a wrestling match (victory to be accepted in lieu of the photo ID Billy seems to have lost when Mitch tries to card him) titillates me no end. The motif of stumbling across a homoerotic wrestling fantasyman “in real life” is a bit that I could enjoy a lot more of.

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Billy tries to play it cool.

Billy gets in a dig about Mitch looking older in person than he does in his wresting matches. He refers to him as “Mitch the Bitch,” clearly needling the headliner hunk with the taunting moniker that Cage Thunder has been spreading everywhere. If Billy weren’t lapping up the drool dripping from his luscious lower lip as he stares at Mitch’s phenomenal physique, I’d say the kid was delusional.  But clearly the punk is just trying to weasel his way under Mitch’s skin in order to get mat time with the muscle hunk.  It works. Of course it works. This is a BG East prime time wrestling release. It doesn’t take long for this story to pick up after Mitch’s shift at the bar is over and Billy comes a knocking.

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For starters…

There’s the catchweight quality to the story telling that speaks for itself. Guys particularly into bigger guys and smaller guys doing battle should line up to watch this on automatic repeat, because the contrasts between Billy and Mitch are visually stunning. Mitch is massive, thickly muscled, bronzed, ripped off of a fitness magazine cover. Billy is lean, pale, certainly fit but with little visible muscle tone, looking like one of the obnoxious kids at the skateboard park that I so despise. It takes about 15 seconds before the homoerotic wrestling subtext becomes just the text. Billy sinks his fingers deep in Mitch’s mountainous pecs, and the bartender does the same to Billy’s sweet little ass (which Mitch can’t help but notice has less mass than Mitch’s pecs).  Mitch commandingly steals a kiss. Billy is clearly put off his guard with the stunning hunk sucking his face.  Mitch makes him pay, however, transitioning to a gasping, squirming, helpless bearhug and hoists the kid way up off the floor and sucks the air from his lungs.  First hold of the match: Billy concedes with his face buried in Mitch’s chest. Oh hell, yes.

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Hurts so good

Billy’s fans will not be surprised that he is more than ready and able to take cheap shots at Mitch’s balls to having a fighting chance against the ripped muscle stud.  Frankly, I think Mitch isn’t so surprised either. Nor does he work all that hard to stay out of danger’s way.  I think Mitch very well may nurse a little fetish for getting his balls bashed, because every time Billy does it, the look on Mitch’s face is a cross somewhere between horror and orgasm. And he keeps fighting back harder, locking lips that much more furiously on the ballsy lightweight.

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Stoked harder and hotter, Mitch strikes back with everything.

Because Mitch is a classy dude, he refrains from clawing the living fuck out of Billy’s balls… until Billy goes for his first low blow.  Unleash Mitch, 70 pounds heavier and without feeling compelled to fight fair?! Oh, fuck, yes.

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There’s the hold that I, and Mitch, enjoy so, so much!

I think I’d like to wallpaper my bedroom with all of the stills of Mitch crushing all of his opponents’ skulls between his massive, flexed, gorgeous thighs. It wouldn’t be a Mitch match without it, nor would it be everything I’ve come to expect and be entranced by if Mitch didn’t look like he could easily whip out his cock and explode all over Billy’s head because this hold turns him on so hard. And I don’t think I’m just projecting.

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“Is this why you came here?”

Billy is outmuscled and out classed from start to finish, but the running question between the two battlers is why did Mitch concede to this match? Why did he invite him over?  And why was Billy, doomed from the start, so eager to hustle his way inside Mitch’s abode?  It’s not really much of a mystery at any point, really, but when Mitch hoists the punk over one massive, bulging shoulder and strolls into the bedroom smacking his chops, whatever tension there was with Billy at the bar, resenting being carded, calling Mitch “old,” referring to him as “Mitch the Bitch,” it’s all released, like me, as the boys turn the corner and turn down the sheets.

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Brutality and tenderness in perfect measure.

What gets me, after I clean myself up a little, is that this is now the second young stud to work Mitch into a lather by taunting him with the nickname Cage Thunder has given him, “Bitch Colby.”  Read Cage’s blog and you’ll see reference after reference disparaging Mitch for beating up little guys, but the thing is these little guys are taking their cues, begging for a session with the muscle hunk, using Cage Thunder’s insults.  When, oh when is the raging homoerotic wrestling tension between Mitch and Cage Thunder going to come to a head?! And who do I need to blow to get to see that golden moment live!?

 

Should the Opportunity Arise

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There’s been a pretty insane rush to marry around my neck of the woods this weekend.  Another judge determines that blatant discrimination enshrined at any level of state law is bullshit, and the flood gates bust open. Despite my long-standing skepticism about the impact of same-sex marriage on liberty, and the screwed up priorities of aggressively pushing for marriage rights while we have no universal fair employment or housing rights, I must admit it’s quite an adrenaline rush to see moes lined up to marry.  I can almost literally feel domesticity creep over me.  The taming of same-sex partnerships, shoe-horning the vast diversity of them into the constraints of acceptable heterosexual expectations threatens even my more radical commitments to the need for revolution rather than reform.  With negotiated fidelity on the line, in the face of closeting the all-male menage a trios, the couples that date thirds, the contractual anything-goes-out-of-town loving relationships, I can just feel the gravitational pull of whitebread hetero monogamy built on centuries of religious strictures consuming us alive.  As a personal commitment to keep the “alternative” in gay, let me just affirm for me and my special someone (who reads these pages, even though we never really talk about them) a few of the wrestling hunks for whom a legally “libertarian” inclusion into the structure of one-man-one-man loving would be instantly out the window, should the opportunity arise for some extracurricular (or, hell, three-way) activities.  I’m sure absolute monogamy is great for many, but here’s a sample of who could climb into my/our bed anytime.

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Mitch Colby… he’s all mine!
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Darius… I’d share him with my partner.
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Landon Conrad… I think I’d have to have him all to myself, or possibly with another one of his gorgeous pornboy stud buddies.
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Trey Dixon and Skrapper… I’d be the filling in that sandwich anytime!
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Cameron Matthews… I’d have zero inhibitions faced with him!
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Kid Karisma… all mine.
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Marcus Ruhl… more than enough to share with this massive hunk of muscle.
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Logan Vaughn… I’d need some private time with those gargantuan thighs.
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Chris Xaos… me, my partner, and ever Britboy wrestling hunk we can find can pile on!

Tuesday Trunk Pulls

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Am I the only one around here whose blood pumps a little faster when a wrestler yanks on his opponent’s trunks?  No, of course I’m not.  I bet I’m not even the only one who’s poured over stills of trunk pulling to catch a glimpse of what’s hidden on some of the demure hunks of homoerotic wrestling who otherwise have not (yet) put their junk on display in the ring. So here are some Tuesday Trunk Pulls to give you a little leverage on your work week.

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Hottest trunk pull ever? Possibly. Hunky rookie (years later, now Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month) Brad Rochelle is firmly in the control of vicious heel Mikey Vee in BG East’s Fantasymen 17.
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Aryx Quinn generously gives us just a glimpse of the monster (and his collar) that lurks beneath the trunks of Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) in BG East’s Ring Hunks 1.
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Before I’d seen Mitch’s full monty, Cole Cassidy’s trunk pull had me apoplectic to see more and more of the gorgeous stud’s topography in BG East’s Ring Wars 15.
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Jonny Firestorm demonstrates the mastery and beauty of a trunk pull from behind, showing off Austin Raine’s naked ass in BG East’s Wrestlefest 3.
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Hunky, hairy, dangerous Dark Rogers appears awed by what he unwraps after destroying Jason Ward for stakes in BG East’s Private Bouts 117-120.
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Come full circle, Dante Rosetti treats Mikey Vee’s insanely gorgeous, muscled ass to a humiliating trunk pull in BG East’s Fantasymen 14.

What are your favorite trunk pulls?

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

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Before I get to the really important business at hand, anyone have experience with WordPress that would be relevant as I consider migrating neverland there?  Let me know.

Now to the real issue that needs settling right away.  Who will lift the mantle of reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month off of the massively muscled shoulders of Naked Kombatant Will Parks and claim the title for the hottest wrestling release in June?  The field is deep, so I’ll try to stick to the cream of the crop to give you the contenders who made it to my final round of consideration.  Starting with Will Park’s bailiwick, Naked Kombat has been hit-or-miss since I signed back on, but bearded muscle daddy Landon “the Law” Conrad debuting drenched in oil against Alex Adams has sorted me out several times.  Over at Thunder’s Arena, I’ve got a fast and furious crush on new meat Mr. Sean sporting his own five o’clock shadow and looking like an Abercrombie boy ripped from a politically incorrect billboard ad to face in very short order no fewer than 4 opponents over the playtime of Bodyspace 44 and Bodyspace 47.  In Muscle Domination Wrestling’s VIP lounge, there’s a double-team made in heaven, featuring Damien and Master Kevin together working their beautiful muscles in tandem all over the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet in Duo Cop ‘N’ Jerk (also check out their cruel, cruel teaser for upcoming Season 4 matches!).  BG East’s Catalog 99.1 packs the field of contenders, so  I have to be brutal in narrowing down the very top of the heap that vied for my lustful attention, starting with perennially dangerous favorite and current title holder for overall favorite homoerotic wrestler, Lon Dumont, pushing and getting pushed to the edge of consciousness against Paul Hudson in Knock Outs 2.  My fantasy come true match, Tag Team Torture 16, puts up potentially the most powerful tag team contenders (for my affections), Christian Taylor and Skip Vance, who have their hands and mouths full with the likes of villainous brute, Morgan Cruise.  In a bodybuilder bonanza possibly the likes of which have never been seen before in the ring, both Chace LaChance and Braden Charron are unbelievably muscle-beautiful gladiators in the Summer Sizzler’s Bonus Match.  From Mat Hunks 9, newcomer (but NOBODY’S rookie) Vic Madone has been haunting my dreams for his work brutalizing lovely Ray Naylor, 3-time HWOTM Eli Black and former HWOTM Cameron Matthews make it incredibly difficult to decide who to root for, and long-time favorite emeritus and former HWOTM Mitch Colby may never have looked sexier (on the mat, at least) than when paired with my longtime simmering crush, delectably sexy Rafe Sanchez (mmmmmm, Rafe!!!!).  So, clearly, no one is a loser when it comes to the quality homoerotic wrestling pumped out in June, least of all me (and you).  You can swing a sweaty jock strap without slapping in the face an incredibly sexy, totally legitimate contender for the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month.  There’s no wrong answer to this question, but after sweating it out and studying the evidence extensively, I’ve decided there is, however, a very, very correct answer as to who is the new homoerotic wrestler of the month…

Rafe makes me swoon just by stretching out!

Rafe Sanches (mmmmmmm, Rafe….) oozes sex.  It doesn’t matter who he’s wrestling or what the context, his presence exponentially increases the erotic in a match until I (and typically, he) explodes.  How has Rafe failed to sit on the HWOTM throne before?  There’s a considerable mystery to that question that I can’t quite explain, because I’m a big, big booster.  One likely factor is that as incredibly pleasing as his wrestling has been, his releases have come out at the same time as some barn burner chart toppers that have edged him out of the top spot.  A series of just plain bad luck for Rafe could be a legitimate explanation for how he has owned my lusts so entirely and yet remained title-less.

Rafe’s hands are full with powerful muscleman, Mitch Colby.

Then again, another potential thumb on the scales may also be that Rafe has frequently been eerily quiet, sometimes even silent when he wrestles.  For a wrestling fanatic like me that can live for days off of nothing but highly charged erotic banter of two wrestlers before they ever make physical contact, an ominously silent hunk, however kinetically erotic, is at a disadvantage.  His Mat Hunks 9 appearance, however, features Rafe in clear, perfectly pitched voice, taunting, snarling, and snapping at Mitch with a quickness and confidence that leaves me shaking my head that this luscious mat hunk has been so quiet in the past.

Big Mitch taunts Rafe relentlessly.

Okay, it also doesn’t hurt a wrestler’s homoerotic appeal to go toe to toe with the likes of my very first-to-be-crowned favorite homoerotic wrestler, Mitch Colby.  Mitch is sliced to hell, sporting the leanness that makes me gasp and earns him an extra snarl of contempt from longtime “rival,” heel extraordinaire (and also former HWOTM) Cage Thunder.  Cage has gone on the record giving Mitch the barest of grudging respect for his work when he’s beefed up, but against Rafe, he’s tanned, toned, and the leanest slice of beef imaginable.  An opponent could pale in comparison, of course.  But despite being several shades lighter in complexion, Rafe absolutely holds is own and somehow his exponential sexiness quotient multiples many times over when juxtaposed against (and especially writhing in the grasp of) gorgeous Mitch (that’s a lot of math to say, fuck, Rafe and Mitch are an insanely hot pairing!).

Rafe gets swallowed up between Mitch’s ripped thighs.

Cage Thunder has long rhetorically slammed Mitch for his long record of beating up on smaller guys, so fully expect he may chime in again to point to this newest evidence.  Mitch’s physique dwarfs Rafe.  Mitch is just a couple of inches taller, but packing on about 25 pounds more muscle than his lean, smooth challenger.  Again, a less apt opponent could get completely overshadowed by Mitch’s display of power and dominance.  Not so, Rafe.

“Same fucking move every time!!!”

Rafe gets pissed off in this match.  Have we ever seen Rafe pissed off?  I can’t remember seeing it, and the sight is so fucking hot that I have to think I’d have remembered.  Mitch swallows him up, going again and again to squeezing the air and will out of Rafe with various parts of his body trapped between Mitch’s massive thighs.  Rafe gets fucking fed up with Mitch taking the path of least resistance, turning again and again to scissors to sit back and expend minimal effort in squeezing out one submission after another.  “Same fucking move every time!” Rafe snaps furiously, rubbing his head and checking to make sure his skull is in tact.  Now, I don’t fault Mitch for wracking up a boatload of submissions with the same hold.  Fuck, I’d clean his pool for a month for the chance to feel those tree trunks wrapped around me over and over again.  But the magic that he works on Rafe is inspired, as typically quiet Rafe gets angrier, chattier, and more determined than ever to grab hold of some sweet revenge.

Rafe dishes out a taste of what Mitch has been serving.

Perhaps it’s the hint of Cage Thunder in this match that pushes Rafe way over the edge for my lustful tastes as well.  Mitch taunts him when he’s scored 3 unanswered submissions.  Rafe sits back and studies the beautiful beast in front of him for a moment before responding, “Yeah, rub it in Bitch… um, I mean Mitch!”  Holy shit, did Rafe Sanchez just signal that he’s learned a thing or two from Cage Thunder!?  It’s Cage who has relentlessly refused to call Mitch anything but Bitch Colby for years.  Suddenly, despite being down 3 falls, Rafe seems instantly more dangerous, more compelling, and… holy shit is it possible…. sexier!

Mitch’s cocky cock-pin.

Rafe and/or Cage Thunder fans will already know that these two have very notoriously met in wrestling action before.  They collided in the BG East ring, and the overt, explicit erotic intent of both studs burned my retinas just a tad.  As one might expect, Cage Thunder owned lovely Rafe in the end, or, more accurately, owned his crotch as he sat on Rafe’s unmasked face and insisted that the graceful, smooth stud pound out a submission-emission.  I’m guessing after that match, there were words exchanged, perhaps a little advice shared from the veteran to the ever-ready lean sex machine.  Somewhere, Rafe picked up Cage’s disparaging nomenclature for Mitch.  And somehow, when Rafe slaps down the taunt right smack in the middle of his mat match against Mitch, it feels to me like almost a 2-on-1 opens up, putting my longtime infatuation with Mitch at a distinctly unfair double-team advantage.

“Payback’s a bitch, pussy!”

Rafe gets some revenge in the match that I savor with a pause-and-slow-motion treatment.  Mitch has taunted and humiliated him repeatedly, flexing his top-tier fuckable muscles in Rafe’s face relentlessly.  So when Rafe turns the tables, plants his own fine, fine, fine ass on Mitch’s face and pumps his own lean, powerful biceps, I’m absolutely sold.  “You think you can handle this!?” Rafe taunts him disbelieving.  Powerful Mitch flat on his back with his lips planted between Rafe’s cheeks is an epic sight to see. “You crazy or something!?” Rafe taunts, in an even more epic moment to hear. “Payback’s a bitch, pussy!!!”

Mitch grinds Rafe’s face hard and deep.

Damn, damn, damn!!!!  It takes a whole lot to hold my gaze with Mitch Colby on the screen, but the second half of this match, I’m absolutely entranced with Rafe.  Fuck me if I wouldn’t actually give up the chance to get repeatedly crushed between Mitch’s thighs for the chance to aggressively tongue bathe ever inch of Rafe’s baby smooth body.  His revenge is fleeting, popping up once or twice more before the end, but that angry frustration, that contemptuous disdain for the mighty muscle man climbing back on top is sweet as honey (speaking of which, let me add a lathering of honey to that aggressive tongue batch fantasy of mine).  Rafe hurts, a lot.  He agonizes, crushed and twisted and pried apart in the big muscleman’s accomplished hands.  And never, not once, does he let his slow boiling rage wane for an instant, no matter how overwhelmed and outmuscled he becomes.  He’s snarling and snapping stubbornly, forcing Mitch to absolutely lay waste to him, drain his tank of every last ounce of willpower and strength, leave him so obliterated that Rafe can’t pick his head up off the mat, much less continue to fight on, before Mitch can finally declare he’s bought Rafe’s body for keeps.

Rafe oozes sexiness!!!!

It’s not like I’ve ever failed to be wildly turned on by Rafe Sanchez (mmmmmm, Rafe….).  But his personality shines through in Mat Hunks 9.  His lust for dominating a muscleman is unmistakable. His nerve, grit, and defiance of the numbers are incredibly compelling.  And more than ever before, he tells a story… a seriously sexy, incredibly homoerotic wrestling tale that makes me (like Mitch) sweat profusely and launches all sorts of personal fantasies starring me, showing up moments after Mitch exists the sun room, leaving a wasted, demoralized, stunningly beautiful Rafe behind for me to find.  Good work, Mitch.  Absolutely stunning work, Rafe.  Set that beautiful, lean ass down on the thrown as my newest homoerotic wrestler of the month!

June 2013 Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month: Rafe Sanchez

Summertime and the Livin’ Is Easy

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Like fresh picked berries and crotch watching at the beach, BG East’s Summer Sizzler’s releases have become a seasonal treat for me.  I’m a little dizzy from the initial overdose I just subjected myself to, scoping out the preview pics that are part of catalog 99.1, just released.

Boyfriend jobbers Skip and Christian make me think it’s not all bad getting crushed by Morgan Cruise.

Making my eyes water the hardest are the initial shots of Tag Team Torture 16: Boyfriend Beatdown, featuring the combo I’ve been bitching and moaning in anticipation of for years.  Skip Vance and his  real life boyfriend (and former HWOTM) Christian Taylor climb into the ring together for a 2-on-1 battle against heel-risen Morgan Cruise.  Holy shit, this looks insanely hot.  This looks like it’s heading in all the right directions, and I’m a little breathless in anticipation.

Chace LaChance and Braden Charron are RIPPED! 

Speaking of breathless, shocking me just a little are the preview pics of the “Bonus Match” (for ordering all of the Summer Sizzlers) featuring Braden Charron and Chace LaChance both appearing to have physically peaked for the season at precisely the same moment that they climbed into the ring together.  I may have seen Braden this ripped… possibly, but holy hell, I have never seen Chace as put together as this. Fuck. Me. Please.

Who’s Got Whom? Eli Black or Cameron Matthews? 

Mat Hunks 9 is a stand-alone compilation that delivers a pretty perfect 8-pack selection of thirst-quenching hunks such as I’m not sure I’ve seen all on one DVD before.  3-time HWOTM Eli Black looks like he’s got his hands full with former HWOTM Cameron Matthews.  This is a fascinating pairing, I think, and Cameron’s showmanship combined with Eli’s intensity seems like a formula for either disaster or perfection.  I’m voting for perfection.

Rafe Sanchez takes the ride of MY life!

And speaking of perfection, former HWOTM and former and long-running overall favorite homoerotic wrestler of mine, Mitch Colby, snaps those tanned, rock hard thighs around the smooth, sexy head of long, long running infatuation of mine (though never a HWOTM), Rafe Sanchez (mmmmmmmm… Rafe).  These two have appeared in some of the over the top sexiest wrestling I’ve ever enjoyed, so combined, I’m feeling dehydrated just thinking about it.  And I’m not even going to mention the perfection of asses featured in the other two matches on Mat Hunks 9… yet.

Hot, hard muscles turned to jelly.
I will mention that my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy) Lon Dumont is also out in a new product, Knock Outs 2 , appearing back in the day when his head was smoother than Rafe Sanchez’.  The match promises both Lon and his opponent, veteran pro Paul Hudson, get sleepered repeatedly, and the image of lovely, powerful Lon so vulnerable, out cold, is giving me hot flashes!
Mr. Joshua had better watch his back (I’ll keep an eye on his front for him)

Finally, Ring Hunks 1 (how is this only the first of that title!?) throws former overall favorite homoerotic wrestler Mr. Joshua’s massive package headlong into the dangerous machinations of former HWOTM and recent interviewee here, Aryx Quinn.  If anyone can unleash the beast, surely it’s diabolical Aryx!   Right?!  Please!?

Another who’s got whom from Summer Sizzlers: Wrestle Shack 17… my money is on Dylon Robert’s thighs.

So these releases technically fall in the month of May, but there’s no way I can assess them in time for tomorrow’s crowning of a new HWOTM, so they’re officially delayed to join the June releases.  In the mean time, pass me a protein drink.  I’m going in….

A Case for a Face

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Red-white-and-blue junior Captain Americas as pretty, pumped, and competitive as babyfaces can be: Jake Jenkins and Austin Cooper
All in the same day a couple of days ago, SP at Inner Jobber posted a by-the-numbers “how to be a fantasy wrestling jobber (like Curtis Thompson)” post, and Joe at Ringside at Skull Island posted a “you might be a heel if…” list of distinguishing characteristics of the heel set, and I briefly mentioned my guilty pleasure of watching a babyface hero defeat an evil doer in the ring.  I think there’s less said than should be about professional wrestlers who fall neither into the doomed to be exploited category or the devious exploiters category.  Since SP and Joe did such thoughtful treatments of jobbers and heels, I decided to try to do a little more justice on behalf of that oft-maligned class of homoerotic wrestlers: the face.
I’ve got a longstanding crush on handsome hero Mitch Colby.

I say oft-maligned because I think to be compelled to pull for the handsome hero is frequently portrayed as gullible.  To boost for the “good guy,” the hard worker, the play-by-the rules, sincere competitor is frequently equated with naiveté.  Guys into the conquering and suffering of a pretty boy may ache for their jobbers, and guys into domination and humiliation dished out by a villain will pull for their heels.  I have a long, long record of working up a head of steam for plenty of jobbers and plenty of heels.  But call me gullible and naive, because (not always, but definitely sometimes) nothing will crank on my chain as convincingly as an all-in babyface (or just “face”) beauty using brains and brawn to overcome treachery and deceit.

Gorgeous face Denny Cartier is all skill, stamina, and strength on the mat.

I venture into this territory with eyes open.  I’ve seen the equivalent of doctoral dissertations written on parsing out opinions about what and who qualifies to be classified as a babyface wrestler.  I’d bet money someone will let me know where I got it wrong by the time I finish this post.  And I love that about us.  We’re the aroused, gorgeous gay nerds of professional wrestling.  We care way too much, leading us to quibble and at times even squabble about what is, let’s face it, minutiae and trivia.  We openly defy orthodoxies on one hand (e.g., celebrating the fierce, butch, dangerously strong and masculine gay man), while on the other hand bitterly defend other orthodoxies (e.g., heaping contempt on the commenter who describes your favorite jobber as a face, or vice versa).  Despite the apparent perception of others that I consider myself an expert, I offer this as nothing more than my personal system for classifying that distinctive breed of wrestler-for-pay who is not the villain, and he’s not the wrestler who seems eternally destined to lose beautifully.  But rather, he’s the heroic athlete determined to defeat his opponents with skill, stamina, and strength, and sometimes, he even succeeds.

Fiercely pretty babyface tagteam Zack Coleman and Brian Barnes.
Like babies themselves, I can’t think of anyone ugly who I’d classify as a babyface wrestler.  Granted, “ugly” is entirely subjective, but inclusion criteria for babyface wrestlers (as far as I’m concerned), include a strong, chiseled chin, gorgeous, piercing (often blue) eyes, and a gym-toned body with beautiful skin.  The parameters are flexible to accommodate an assortment of tastes (eye of the beholder and all), but something obviously beautiful seems a prerequisite.  A babyface seems to, by definition, be attractive in a conventional sense.  It’s not like particularly homoerotic wrestling is well-populated with men who fail to meet basic standards of physical attractiveness, but those especially handsome Clark Kent-esque boys tend to get checks in my personal tally of elements that add up to the essential ingredients of a compelling face.  Necessary but not sufficient criteria to be a babyface, it seems to me, is eye-catching beauty.  
Alexi Adamov strives valiantly to honestly overcome notorious Aryx Quinn’s dirty tricks.
Further inclusion criteria for me include that babyface wrestlers tend to stick to the straight and narrow when faced with (as they frequently are) an underhanded, dirty, no-good heel.  Here’s where it comes in handy to have powerful muscles and innate athleticism (again, necessary but not sufficient characteristics of faces – plenty of heels and jobbers have beautiful muscles and obvious athleticism).  When faced with cheating and trickery, the Pearl Harbor before the bell rings, the hair pull, the crotch blow, the foreign object, the refusal to break a hold when the action hits the ropes, the babyface hero grimaces, shakes his head (“kids these days”) and reinvests his faith in his thousands of hours of gym time and, hopefully, substantive experience and wrestling skills.  An occasional venture into a retributive low blow not-withstanding (particularly in homoerotic wrestling), the face places his confidence in the superiority of his physique, his mental preparation, his wrestling prowess, and the sincerity of his heart.  In a post-modern world, faces can get away with a lot more rule bending and still be objects of heroic adoration, of course.  They can most definitely lose their temper, open a can of unnecessarily rough whoop-ass, ravage an opponent momentarily in a rage.  But in the morality tales of homoerotic wrestling, if I see a handsome stud tend toward the exercise of self-restraint and appear to intentionally decline to take shortcuts, I check off another box in the face checklist.

Who’s got whom? Babyface hearthrob Brad Rochelle battles babyface heartthrob Jeff Phoenix

That’s not to say a babyface can only be seen in matches against heels, of course.  He can most definitely wrestle another babyface or a jobber, by all means.  Sometimes, he may be less easily identified in those settings, but nevertheless he perseveres in the certainty that he is the “better man” which will lead to his victory (as opposed to the heel who sees his victory, by whatever means, as the evidence that he’s the better man).  A babyface v babyface battle can be a particularly compelling thing of beauty.  Two hard, hardworking studs who’ve been convinced by accolades and past victories that they are destined to succeed can generate intensely satisfying and homoerotically charged wrestling entertainment.  The allure of the thrill of competition (which I argue is an essential element of what turns me on about the drama of homoerotic wrestling) can be most poignant and compelling for me when it’s face v face, beauty v beauty, power v power.  These are matches in which tit-for-tat wrestling often makes me smile, as athletes play a game of HORSE, showing off their skills and strength in a one-upsmanship format.  Like knights in armor of old, they charge upright into one another with a typically unspoken assumption that purity of heart will add weight to the scales of justice, and the outcome is less about the delectable doings inside the ropes as it is about who wanted it more as demonstrated by preparation, training, and hard work before they entered the ring.

Classic babyface Christopher Bruce shocks and awes perennially supine Rio Garza

I also like the drama of a babyface v jobber match, though again, I think this can confuse folks who equate a serious mauling as the exclusive domain of a heel.  By my way of thinking, a babyface is generally convinced in the superiority of his training, conditioning, and strength, so there’s most definitely still a story to tell when he encounters a pretty slice of heaven with a track record for getting crushed and humiliated.  He wrestles because he has faith in the premise that if he is the better man, he will win.  Dangling a jobber in front of his face, particularly a tasty, pretty, unknowingly vulnerable jobber, merely offers him the opportunity to collect evidence to confirm what he already knew: all of his hard work destines him to conquer an unworthy opponent.  A jobber’s job is that much more crucial in a babyface v jobber match, because his suffering must rise from being outmatched and outwitted above board.  There’s not likely a low blow or a nipple-twist to explain what threw the jobber off his game, so the two must dance the intricate dance of decisive, convincing combat.  A jobber must beat like a wave upon the sand against the superior strength of body and spirit, only slowly to ebb in will and perseverance in the face of the innate dominance of the finely tuned babyface offense.  Not an ounce less agony, not a smidge less suffering is required than if the jobber took a fist to the scrotum and had his face forced into a heel’s swelling crotch.  This tale is just a tad more subtle but no less tantalizing and tempting for my tastes, for the drama of a jobber slowly crumbling beneath a face.

Heel rising Morgan Cruise drops gorgeous giant Diego Diaz with a shocking low blow

Finally, I’d like to make a case for holding these archetypes in pro wrestling lightly when it comes to homoerotic fare.  While I’m sure I’ll get crap for getting it wrong (won’t be the first time… to get crap or to get it wrong), I’ll also suggest that so far, there isn’t a homoerotic wrestling company producing a through-story with quite the consistency of a weekly mainstream pro wrestling serial in which these archetypes were birthed in live wrestling and televised wrestling entertainment decades ago (probably centuries, really).  Character development takes time and consistency that I think is particularly challenging in the catch-as-catch-can world of the homoerotic wrestling industry.  While there are notable exceptions, such as the highly entertaining through-story that Alex recently posted about regarding the crushing humiliation of fan-favorite face Brad Rochelle until Brad pulled off a sweetly satisfying heel turn in the middle of the Contract series, a chaptered story building motivation and a story arc is a rare element in homoerotic wrestling.  And therefore a face, jobber, or heel may be built or broken within the confines of a given match.  I find this type of story telling more intense, though inherently more difficult to latch onto favorite characters over time (because characters may play multiple roles in seemingly out-of-order sequences).  In other words, my favorite industry highlights that a face (or a jobber or a heel) is not who a wrestler is, but what a wrestler does.  The sum total of a storied career in pro wrestling for gay eyes likely demonstrates that “one man in his time plays many parts.”

Gorgeous babyface Justin Pierce puts the hurt on gorgeous babyface Tommy Tara

In his last post, Alex proposed a new Contract (or Contract-like-series) to chart another rare chaptered story of homoerotic wrestling drama.  I love that idea.  I’d also add my dream of an honest-to-god serial homoerotic pro wrestling story, released as a “season,” witnessing the rise and fall of wrestling hopefuls, the tensions and betrayals, the shocking humiliations and victories-against-the-well-established-odds… alliances made, loyalties tested, egos crushed, losers showing up again owned and operated by the man who bested them… roaring testimonials, sweat-soaked post-match interviews, an explicitly named grudge, a quest for vengeance.  There are some nice tropes and devices of classic mainstream pro wrestling that I think have yet to be fully translated into an explicitly homoerotic context.  I’m sure it would require an entirely different production, likely including prohibitive amounts of scheduling, investment, and choreography.  But seriously, I’d pay a premium for that, particularly with an explicitly homoerotic angle.  Some more suspense, a story arc, a chance to tune in repeatedly to be compelled by a favorite face, heel or jobber… surely there’s a significant market for that.

Babyface beauty Cameron Matthews heeled by Kid Vicious
So I started by making a case for a face, which I still stand by enthusiastically.  Heroes battling for good, winning valiantly, losing in soul-crushing, despair-inducing humiliation… fuck, I love that guy.  But I’d love him even more in a context in which I could watch his character grow and change, in which his motivation is more explicit, contrasts drawn more starkly, perhaps his heel turn that much more shocking because he’d convinced me of his utter trust that right will ultimately overcome might.  I’m sure it’s a pipe dream, but it’s still a dream that makes my blood pulse harder.

More to Say

wrestlebard2 Comments
I astonish myself just a bit by the fact that I have offered merely passing reference thus far to the newest new release by long standing favorite and perpetual favorite emeritus homoerotic wrestler around these parts, Mitch Colby.
6’2, 205 lbs., my favorite homoerotic wrestler emeritus: Mitch Colby
I have several possible excuses for this perplexing oversight.  One possible excuse is that Cybertron’s epic mauling and dismantling of luscious little Ronny Pearl on this DVD shockingly grabbed my attention and distracted me from giving the rest of the matches in Ringwars 21 their due.  Another more cheeky excuse is that soon after its release, Cage Thunder gave Mitch’s match against Skotch English some attention.  Hell, Cage Thunder actually offers faint praise for Mitch, poured so tightly into those metallic blue trunks.  “Giving credit where it’s due,” Cage writes, “the Bitch looks good.”  Faint praise from Cage Thunder for Mitch (who he affectionately refers to exclusively as Bitch) is equivalent to me tattooing Mitch’s gorgeous face across my lower abdomen.  And I cannot argue with Cage Thunder… Mitch looks very, very good.  What more is there to say!?
5’7″ Skotch English looks way up at 6’2″ Mitch Colby

Like Cage Thunder, I like Mitch at this point in his physique training.  He’s big, seriously meaty, but not as lean as we’ve seen him wrestle at times before.  Staring way, way down his nose at fireplug badass Skotch English, a full 7 inches shorter, Mitch is simply a stunning specimen.  Mitch was one of the earliest infatuations I called out on this blog almost exactly 4 years ago, and strutting into the ring in that doomed, too-big-not-to-fail American flag warm up jacket, he grabs me and holds my attention every bit as commandingly as he did the first moment I saw him.

Got your attention?
He does an awfully decent job of grabbing Skotch’s attention, as well.  Skotch is a seriously dangerous, highly accomplished pro wrestler, so Mitch should probably have been warned not to showboat too, too much, too, too early.  But all is forgiven (from me, anyway), at the sight of big, beautiful Mitch’s schoolboy pin, his package resting on Skotch’s chin, his sweaty, tanned, towering muscles flexing in a show of primal dominance.

The perfect position

I’m sure I’ve said it a thousand times, but it bears repeating again: this is a ride I’d wait in line for for days on end!  Mitch looks so fucking HUGE planted seductively across Skotch’s barrel chest.  Sadly, Skotch’s erotic tastes appear to diverge significantly from my own, because I’d be powerless to resist the temptation to stretch out my tongue and take this match to a whole different level.

Bullseyes!

However, the direction that Skotch does take this match in certainly doesn’t disappoint!  Mitch might as well have bullseyes tattooed to his pecs, because those thick slices of meat never fail to inspire an opponent to dig in his claws and try to rip Mr. Emeritus apart at the seams.  Skotch’s relish in this task, his roaring enthusiasm, makes the pathos spike.  Once (and future) mighty Mitch’s knees buckle.  His handsome face contorts in agony.  He sinks, his back hanging in the corner, as Skotch claws the giant down to size.  Mitch’s baritone groans make my crotch tingle.

Hunk humiliation
Mitch is one big, stunning, experienced hunk of wrestler, so this is very legitimately a ring war and not a hunkbash.  Mitch Colby on offense can be quite the juggernaut, and he makes the fireplug hurt.  A lot.  But what Skotch apparently lacks in a tongue offense, he makes up for in bringing the mighty giant low, applying liberal doses of withering trash talk, yanking those metallic trunks up Mitch’s crack, snarling contempt and rage and humiliation into Mitch’s body which visibly grows softer, more pliable, and less able to resist by the second.

Squeezing out that last ounce of dignity
I love a big, tanned, handsome, muscled babyface victory over the forces of evil every so often.  I know; this merits scorn and shame from a large portion of homoerotic wrestling fans, but I’ve faced worse.  Sprinkled throughout my fare, I love a handsome, dominant hero who is so technically proficient, so physically dominant, that he actually overcomes the treachery of a nasty heel and plants a boot in the loser’s ass for all that’s good and right.  Without that touch to spice things up, the rest of pro wrestling fare could grow bland.  This, however, is not that match (though Mitch has starred in his fair share of them).  No, this is a match spotlighting the brutal humiliation and spoiling of a handsome hero.  Skotch digs deep to pull out Mitch’s hope in humanity and fair play by the roots.  And the more Mitch suffers, the more his ass is on display, the more his sweat stains the mat as he’s dragged from corner to corner by the last shreds of his dignity, the more I’m firmly cemented as a Mitch Colby fan (sorry Cage!).
The ride of my life

Mitch battling back, firing off one last blast of offense, shocking the heel with a rally and a rib crushing standing bearhug does nothing but accentuate the classic scope of this story.  To be Skotch here, his crotch crushed against the mighty physique star lifting him off his feet, would truly be a fantasy.  Those long, heavily muscled arms stretched around the fireplug’s back crushing him against those formerly abused pecs, are the epitome of implicitly erotic homoerotic pro wrestling.  Mitch’s hot breath pumping against Skotch’s neck, his sweaty torso primed and slick, that painfully pretty, insanely wide lat spread making Mitch’s upper back look like he’s sprouting wings… gorgeous, homoerotic wrestling drama!

Conquered and powerless to resist

But Cage Thunder is, again, 100% correct in delivering the spoiler that “when the match ended, the big Bitch wasn’t smiling.”  His prominent, superhero chin makes me paint this image into Superman series 2 issue 75, the man of steel laid out, conquered, all those massive muscles slack and helpless, all that power evaporated.  Sure, I’ll lose control watching Mitch lay waste to some young upstart heel wannabe any day, but Mitch crushed and defeated and splayed out at my (um… Skotch’s) mercy is golden.  And I have to agree one last time with Cage Thunder: Skotch should’ve peeled off those trunks and shoved them in Mitch’s mouth.  Nice call, Cage.  Beautiful, beautiful work, Mitch.

A Big Teddy Bear

wrestlebard1 Comment

Former homoerotic wrestler of the month (October 2011) Aryx Quinn has one of the fiercest and most quickly mobilized base of fans of anyone featured on the pages of this blog.  Just about any poll he’s ever been part of here at neverland has resulted in his victory because within moments of the poll going live, his people are tweeting and retweeting instructions on stuffing the ballot box to over 9,000 followers.  I’ve been fascinated by his comic book proportions (tiny little waist and insanely wide shoulders) since I first saw him bring his particular brand of sexy to the BG East ring several years ago.  The opportunity to interview and get to know the curiously personable infamous heel was a pleasure for me, and the coincidence of getting to chat with him as his newest match from BG East was released, in which he takes full possession of sexy Alexi Adamov’s rippling muscles in Ring Revenge, was just fortuitous timing. The following is an odd mix of intimate self-disclosure and enigmatic diversion, which I suppose in some ways is emblematic of the complex young man who strikes terror in the heart of wrestling opponents and ecstasy up the ass of porn co-stars.

—————————
Aryx Quinn likes it hot

Bard: Just following you on Twitter is exhausting! Your travel schedule is mind-boggling! So I’m extra appreciative of you being willing to take a little time to answer some questions at neverland for your homoerotic wrestling fans. Most wrestling fans probably know you primarily as Aryx Quinn, while fans of mainstream gay porn may more readily recognize you as Tristan Baldwin. Any other names you’ve worked under? What should I call you, and where do your stage names come from?

Drake Marcos,
“time to do some fact-checking, son!”

Aryx: Thanks for the opportunity for an interview so that all your devout neverland followers can have answers to the questions that may have been itching at them over the years. Let me first begin by saying that your interview with Drake  Marcos was phenomenal. However, I think the kid’s tone in referring to wrestlers who are retired or out of the scene is somewhat off. Time to do some fact checking, son…because some of the wrestlers he referred to are very much NOT retired [laughing].
     As far as the ‘nomenclature’ or name game that seems to follow me – here is the reason why: the Aryx Quinn character’s origins were actually when I was a young teen playing Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I was a total ‘dork’ in society’s eye, but I could care less – I’m happy with me. Aryx was everything I wasn’t: tall, strong, handsome, confident.  For a pimply faced, unpopular, weak teen, he was a vessel in which to throw my dreams. Never thought I could be him,  until you fast-forward 10 years, and a stint in the 82nd Airborne later…came out as a changed boy into a man.
     Aryx was born, and into BG East he went. Out of respect for Kid Leopard, I kept the character’s name separate when taking it into a purely sexual role. The Tristan Baldwin moniker was a hybrid of two things.  Apparently, I look a bit like Stephen Baldwin, and some of my favorite characters have been named Tristan – namely Brad Pitt from legends of the fall, and Tristan from Tristan and Isolde. Other than that? There aren’t any other names I work under, and in retrospect, I wish I had just stuck with the basic Aryx Quinn for it all.

As Tristan Baldwin, Aryx gives gang-bang porn two thumbs up

Bard: You give courage to the legions of pimply faced, unpopular weaklings out there dreaming of growing into hard-bodied fight and fuck machines! I hope that’s not over the top… you’re absolutely phenomenal when you wrestle, and though I don’t spend a lot of time in mainstream gay porn, you’ve got a reputation as a crowd pleaser there as well. Since you brought up young Drake Marcos’ fawning, if slightly misleading, comments in his recent interview here, let’s start out with you telling us about where you are in your career right now. Definitely not retired, obviously! What projects are you working on now or expect to be soon?

Talk about “it gets better!”  Pimply faced weakling no more!

Aryx: Thanks Bard! I’d hardly consider myself an icon or motivator to legions of pimply faced fans, but at least I feel I would be representing my own kind well. As far as being a hard-bodied fuck machine, your’e making me blush. Don’t share my secret too much, or I won’t be able to find future victims. As far as my status with porn and also with wrestling, I’d like to think that certain aspects are like wine: they only get better with age. Right now, I’m at closest to the largest I’ve ever been in my life based on strength and muscular density. Given that I’m at my peak muscle-wise, why on god’s green earth would I stop wrestling? Although there has been a slowdown at Can-Am regarding production of a lot of wrestling videos, it is my intent to jumpstart that soon. Although there are a lot of talented wrestlers I’d like to face that are in BG East, given that the two feds do not intermix, it is unlikely that these matches will come about. Thus, Drake Marcos is safe for the time being.  As a slippery little snake you can’t get your head cut off if you don’t crawl out of your hole, after all. More likely than anything else, I’ll be participating in a bodybuilding show in the spring. Just to say I did one, after all.

Aryx trains for a bodybuilding competition

Bard: Your secret is way, way out when it comes to being a hard-bodied fuck machine, Aryx! And you say you’ve got more muscle now than ever!? I hope you’ll send me photographic evidence of this to share on the blog. I’m glad to hear that you’re planning on stirring the pot at Can-Am again. You infused a ton of character and story into their catalog when you arrived, which is something I appreciate in wrestling. But tell me, what’s up with the deep divide between Can-Am and BG East, do you think? It seems like more than just market competition. And when you arrived at Can-Am and laid down what has to be the sexiest trash-talking homoerotic wrestling challenge in history with a naked, sweat and cum soaked Rusty Stevens in Arena 1, there’s some pretty explicit Boston-trashing going on from both of you. Are there any hard feelings between you and the BG East boys?

Did Aryx cross a line
with Rusty Stevens?

Aryx: I’ll definitely keep you posted with updated pictures. As far as infusing energy into their product, I’m not the one with the checkbook, so unfortunately I don’t have the last say. Ron is doing very well with his main stream porn product line so the wrestling has, unfortunately, fallen to the wayside for him. I’m hoping to convince him otherwise. He has a great flair for the dramatic and knows what wrestling products will sell well, but there is only a finite limit of how much time there is in the day to produce content. As far as Rusty Stevens goes, I have no comment. Anyone who researches the history of things knows what was said and what was out of line. And we are talking about character and how to tell a story. IRL- In Real Life.
     As far as the comments trashing the East Coast and a certain Boston-based company, all I can say is that loyalty to a person should exceed everything else. The same mindset is not embraced in the leadership at BG East. For every new fish you think you’ll hook on the line you lose two that you already have on the strainer. Hard feelings? Lots of them. If you don’t know a good thing when you see it you’ll certainly know when it hits you with a clothesline.

Bard: Cryptic and pointed all at the same time! You’re a complex man, Aryx Quinn. Since I’m the one that has you on the line at the moment, so to speak, I don’t want you to get away without telling me some juicy bits about what you think are the highlights of your wrestling career thus far. Like I said, your verbal tussle with Rusty in Arena 1 followed by your full contact physical tussle in Arena 2 are some of my all time favorite mat moments. If you had to put your finger on one or two most memorable wrestling moments for you, what and who would you finger?

Nick Archer impressed Aryx with brains, brawn and bravado

Aryx: Well Bard, I do agree that the battle with Rusty Stevens was one of the most climactic in my career. Both muscle wise and verbal wise, he’s one of the few that could bring it to the next level. Other guys that I absolutely enjoyed wrestling were guys like Nick Archer. Such brawn, such brains, such bravado. Mike Colombo was another great wrestler that I loved squaring off with.  However, we never taped anything for BG East. It was all outside the ring. Perhaps I can release the one tape I do have of it in my own chronicles someday.

Aryx grew unintentionally stiff with Brad Rochelle

     Wrestling with Brad Rochelle was also interesting. At one point in the match (the Contract) I legitimately hurt him…was unintentionally very stiff. Brad absolutely lost it on me and for a good 10 minute segment of that match.  It was full-on real wrestling.

Mitch ripped out both of Aryx’ nipple rings

Another similar moment was when I was facing off against Mitch Colby for BG East, down in Florida [Ringwars 20]. At that time I had my nipples pierced, and I asked him if he was going to be punching me to make sure he kept the shots low and in the gut rather than high up on the chest. In all the confusion and hectic-ness of the match, he ended up punching and tearing out not just one, but both of the nipple rings, and I was literally bleeding and in intense pain during the match. It was not an easy one to work through.
     From a humor standpoint I remember during a taping when I was battling against Jimmy Gee.   Jonny Firestorm was just outside the ring. I continually was calling Jimmy a slob over and over and over again, and Jonny was just in stitches laughing.  It’s become a nonstop joke between us ever since.

Bard: You’ve got your own private collection with a Mike Colombo match?! I can name a dozen fans that would pop a cork to see that! It sounds like both the major bumps and bruises as well as the humor and good fun stand out for you. I’m glad your nipples have recovered from Mitch’s punishment! Are there any matches that stick out as particularly sexy from your perspective as a wrestler? Any particular opponents that turned you on hardest? Any particular moves, maneuvers, gear or settings that get your engine revving loudest?

Who else wants to see the lost tapes with Aryx wrestling Mike Columbo!?

Aryx: Thank you for being glad that my nipples survived Mitch’s punishment. I’m glad as well! Yes, the Mike Colombo tapes are great, but they’re very raw and rustic. It would take a lot of finishing work to make them good video for commercial use. Some fans might actually prefer that they’re so raw and rustic. As far as matches that stick out in the sexy category, to me sexiness is associated with suffering and dominance. The match with AJ Irons definitely falls into that bracket. To see him suffer so beautifully, such a great body on display, crying and murmuring in pain, is hot to me. He takes his beating like a real man, and he came back for more later, trust me. I love singlets especially singlets that are pulled halfway down from the shoulders, pinning the arms. Also love trees of woe and holding guys in the corner and in the ropes. See, you can beat them mercilessly… fuck them as you see fit.

AJ Irons “was born to be a jobber”

Bard: I’ve only seen pics from your match with AJ Irons. It sounds like that needs to go on my list of matches to see! From the promotional photos, it looks like AJ gets the full treatment, including an incredibly sexy tree of woe session. Since you’re training toward a bodybuilding competition, let’s talk for a moment about your body. At this point, when you’re at the top of your conditioning, what part of your physical development are you proudest of? What parts of your incredible physique are mostly genetic gifts, and what parts do you have to work at more?

Bulging shoulders and biceps

Aryx: Yes, AJ takes a beating like you’ve never seen before. Ron actually had to stop the taping at one point because I was throttling him so hard. But he was loving every second.  That kid was born to be a jobber.  I wouldn’t say I’m at the exact top of my point of conditioning, but I’m getting there. Once I do a few ” supplements” I think I’ll be in a better position to be competitive. Plus, I really need to tighten down the diet. My shoulders and biceps are always the biggest naturally and easiest part to train, whereas my chest and legs are the worst. I really have this mental block against training legs, unfortunately, just because I travel so much. I mean who really wants to be walking or stumbling around an airport after doing squats the day before and being unable to walk long distances necessary. It really is torture on yourself. How about you? The faceless being behind the website? What parts would you need or like to work on. Perhaps we can push each other! [laughing]

Bard: Why, thanks for asking! My core has always been my major strength. I can do an ab workout for hours. Quite a bit of Pilates and yoga have probably helped accentuate that over the years. My top weakness is the same as yours. I just despise leg workouts. I don’t enjoy them and seldom prioritize them, so it shows. Tell me the secret that works for you once you find it!

Aryx: Chances are I’ll never find. After all, the process of searching for something means you’re going to fail may times before you find it. I really don’t feel like failing that many times with legs before I find the right answer on how to do them. [laughing]

Bard: What are some things that fans don’t know about Aryx Quinn? What are some of your passions, other than dominating an opponent and fucking him dizzy?

Who’s top dog here?

Aryx: Outside of wrestling and working out, Aryx Quinn adores a tiny little black puppy named Madison… dresses her up in outfits and the whole 9 yards. I’ll have to send you some pictures. Throw those in the interview, but it might ruin the tough guy image. It’s pretty sad, but despite being a muscleboy, I still take orders from her. She’s just so damn cute. In the military I served as a paratrooper, so skydiving is still a great past time for me. I just don’t have the time to do it as much anymore. I have a personal rig and everything, but just don’t jump that often. I actually love to cook and am a huge fan of swordfish, steaks, scallops, shrimp, and especially clams like little necks, cherrystones, and quahogs. I think the real reason I like seafood is that it’s drizzled in butter. Probably why I’m such a huge fan of asparagus just because of the hollandaise sauce. Did I mention my diet needed some tightening down?  [laughing]
    Huge fan of the outdoors and being in the sun, so places like Vegas, San Diego, Los Angeles and Florida are on my list of priorities, year round. Prefer to be hot than cold any day. Aryx Quinn went to college for criminal justice but obviously not into enforcing the law …I’m into breaking it. [laughing]

Aryx “detains” and pats down hunky Alexi
in BG East’s new release Ring Revenge

Bard: Criminal justice!? Now that does surprise me. I’d have guessed economics or marketing. Then again, advanced training in involuntary detention and social deviance totally makes sense, having seen your wrestling repertoire! And the fact that you’re bonded to a dog is only further evidence of my long-standing theory that guys with dogs are automatically many times sexier. Please do send me pictures of you and Madison! I don’t think it will do anything for your image other than make you that much more of a fan favorite. Muscleboys infatuated with their puppies are incredibly hot! Can you tell me any more about your paratrooper days? My entire frame of reference for military service is limited to bad gay porn involving guys in fatigues throwing down in the barracks and fucking each other for hours on end. It’s just like that, isn’t it? [laughing]

Aryx: As far as economics or marketing, I’ve definitely always had more of a business mind than a law-enforcement mind.  However those skinned up hairdos and tough alpha male looks always attract me. Social deviance. That’s me in a nutshell. Do you know that during the polygraph screenings for the state of Connecticut for the majority of the police departments, there is a section entitled ‘deviance?’ Here there are a variety of questions that they ask you about inappropriate things you might of done at work or during sex, and believe it or not, one of the questions pertains to homosexuality… almost as if it’s a deviant topic! Why list it under this heading, unless they clearly don’t approve? So politically incorrect it’s not even funny.

Aryx stokes my military porn fantasies

     The army was an interesting time for me. I grew up very small – not very muscular – just lean and fast, but not very bulky. I swear, I put on 30 pounds the first summer when I enlisted. It really did make a man out of me. I was stationed at Fort Bragg in North Carolina with the 82nd airborne, and then later with USACAPOC, part of SOCOM (special operations command). Although our soldiers typically aren’t paid very much – the sheer majority live at or below the poverty line – it was one of the most fun and exhilarating times my entire life. Because your basic needs of food and housing are taken care of, it allows you a lot of time to concentrate on what you really enjoy… your body, going out, reading, movies. I really feel like I had less stresses when I was in the military than any other time in my life.
     Bard, you laugh! Your “bad porn” fantasy of guys in fatigues throwing down in the barracks isn’t far from the truth. It was always commonly known that if you wanted something it could be had. There was also a room at the end of the hall where we put extra mattresses… entire room was covered them. We called this the boom-boom room. If two guys had an issue they could go into the room, fight it out, wrestle it out, choke each other out, beat each other, get it out of their system. Hot, hot stuff.

Bard: Damn! I’m going to have to reevaluate my “military” wrestling porn! And I took what was, I’m sure, the same standardized mental health test that you’re talking about, for a job I once had. I was also shocked about the homosexuality questions. That test was originally developed over 70 years ago, and there are a lot of ridiculous questions that never made good sense, but today they’re downright insulting. I’m glad that times are changing when it comes to recognizing what’s “normal” is broader and deeper than what many people used to think it was decades ago.
     So I just saw on your Twitter feed that you were named Escort of the Year. Congratulations! I was just getting turned on by reading several of your clients’ extremely satisfied reviews of their time with you. It sounds like a lot of them find it a special treat to have you put on some wrestling gear and work them over as a dominating heel. What do you think about the role of wrestling kink, pain, and domination in the sexual fantasies of so many gay men?

“… at least 30 to 40% of my calls involve
wrestling or gear.”

Aryx: Although many people would look at winning an award like escort of the year and laugh about something like that, saying it’s nothing to be proud of, etc., the way I look at it is that if you’re going to do something, don’t do it half assed. Whatever you’re going to do, be the best at it. I try and bring a ton of energy to every session, and whether the guy is a great-looking muscle boy or an older, heavyset guy with physical limitations, you as the escort have the sole capability to make that person feel good. To me, I enjoy making others in this world smile. Whether it be what I do on tape or whether it be what I do in person.  It’s always nice to be remembered.
     Let me tell you, the wrestling and gear fetish is much more widespread than people think. When I say that at least 30 to 40% of my calls involve wrestling or gear of some kind… it’s pretty cool. Also, it makes you wonder. Given that there so many people out there that are into this, how come people from global fight don’t actually link up more? It seems like there are so many flakes out there or people are too closeted about it, when there is no reason to be. It’s completely normal, and if you think you’re alone, you’re not.  There are a shit ton of people into this.

“Whatever you’re going to do, be the best at it.”

     As far as pain and humiliation in the fantasies of gay man, I actually have a negative outlook on it. I get a ton of requests (that I refuse to honor) of guys that want to be punished because they are gay. Many were raised in households where it was thought to be an embarrassment, where they had to keep it closeted, so they thought they were letting their families down or were disappointments. They don’t realize that times have changed. I cannot tell you how many requests I get for being called a ‘filthy worthless faggot’, and have these fantasies about being punished by ‘straight’ jocks. I just won’t do calls like this. Physical pain and humiliation/dominance I will, but that kind of disgusting mental stuff is too much for me. I actually am a big teddy bear, believe it or not.

Bard: Regarding the “punish me” aspect of homoerotic wrestling, I’ve often wondered how much internalized crap there could be in some corners of our kink world… the “hurt me ’cause I’m just a little faggot” self-hatred script…. I’m glad to hear it’s a line you won’t cross. When I see the “smear the queer” theme in wrestling products, I have a similar response. I just walk away.

Aryx: I couldn’t agree more with the total disgust towards the ‘smeer the queer’ direction that not just some wrestling products, but mainstream porn too, is heading in! Men.com is infamous for having ‘gay-hazing’ scenes, and I cannot understand for the life of me why people are purchasing such a product! It’s disgusting! I’ll never cross that line, no matter how much you pay me. Or…errr…well….it’d have to have a lot of zeros…and then when it clears, I’ll come and kick the ass of the person who produced it,
for real. [laughing] … and use the money for my legal defense.
     By the way, boy do I have news for you! A guy who enjoys wrestling that I connect with outside of work, is friends with Drake Marcos. He FaceTimed..which is a live connection via phone like Skype… with Drake while we were wrestling together in a hotel room. So Drake saw me battle my friend for over two hours! Isn’t he just a cute little thing?! Cheshire Cat, indeed. As I was putting my friend into hold after hold, I was sure to look at the phone and give the finger and talk shit to him…and I cannot wait for the day that we get to battle.

Maddy and her muscleboy

Bard: Hot damn, that may be one of the hottest erotic wrestling fantasies I’ve heard in a long time! I have it on good authority that Drake was blown away by the opportunity to see you in action live. The voyeurism, the trash talk toward Drake while working over his buddy… holy shit that sounds so… damn… hot! That infamous grin on Drake’s face is going to be permanently tattooed there!
     On the theme of you being a big teddy bear, I just got the pics you sent of you and Maddy, and it’s clear that that girl’s got you wrapped around her little paw. Adorable, and that adoring smile on the face of notorious wrestling badboy Aryx Quinn is astonishingly sexy. Love it!
     You’ve been really generous with your time during a busy time of year. I want to thank you for being so patient with me in getting this interview lined up. Anything else you’d like to say to your legions of wrestling fans?

The one in the driver’s seat…

Aryx: Bard, you haven’t been a burden on my time at all! It’s a welcome opportunity to address the fans directly, without the censorship or ‘character’ or the respective federations kinda enforced upon it. I think it’d really blow a lot of the fans’ minds, if they saw what some of the BGE and Can-Am guys were like, ‘out of character.’ Total role reversals. Thanks again for your time too, stud, and I hope you have a great upcoming year! Give me a buzz or an email any time.

Mahalo, Aryx!

Thunderstruck

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Co-Homoerotic Wrestlers of the Month: Cage Thunder & Lightning Rod

Typically, I enjoy writing a retrospective of the wrestling career of my current homoerotic wrestler of the month during his reign.  Despite having, for only the second time, co-owners of the title this month, it’s a little tough saying more about either Cage Thunder or Lightning Rod that hasn’t already been said exceedingly well already. In the case of masked sexy man Lightning Rod, he’s appeared only once, so a career retrospective would be pretty much what I’ve already written about him. I’ve lobbied the boys at BG East to get me in touch with LR to do an interview and explore more behind the mask of the curiously expert sex wrestler, but we’ll have to see what comes of that.

Wrestler, writer, philosopher: Cage Thunder is the total package.

With Cage Thunder, however, the challenge is just the opposite. Choosing a homoerotic wrestler of the month who is also an acclaimed and published author who keeps his own deeply self-reflective homoerotic wrestling blog leaves so many questions long ago answered. If Thunderdome isn’t already on your regular reading list, it should be. You’ll enjoy reading more about what goes on in the ring, on the mat, and inside the mind of Cage Thunder than I could ever manage to catalog here.

Wade Cutler: 5’6″, 165 lbs., a perfect choice to be destroyed by Cage Thunder in the ring!

Case in point, in response to my interview with him earlier this month, Cage Thunder posted a series of blog posts at Thunderdome answering some of my questions in artistic detail and greater depth than we discussed in the moment of the interview. He posted a 3-part series on BG East wrestlers he hasn’t faced yet, who he’d like to put at the front of the line for getting his hands on (and legs around!).  Some of his picks, and his explanations of what he’d do to them, leave nothing left to be said.  Classic, bubble-butted muscleboy Wade Cutler vs. Cage Thunder… there are just no further words necessary or relevant!

Dante Rosetti: 5’11”, 210 lbs., chisel-chinned, muscle beast!

The same goes for another classic muscleboy that Cage Thunder mentioned, Dante Rosetti. Personally, I think Cage Thunder is never sexier than when he’s testing the limits and then ultimately beating into whimpering submission gorgeous, powerful muscleboys like Wade and Dante!

Tony Cosenti: 5’9″, 180 lbs., looks that could kill, but since they can’t, he’d be Cage Thunder’s plaything before long!
He also named “sexy god Tony Consenti” on his list of dream matches.  Holy fuck! Tony vs. Cage Thunder in the Wrestle Shack. Cage Thunder sitting on Tony’s beautiful babyface, stripping him of his trunks, licking Tony’s pits, force-feeding him his cock…. Exquisite!
Beau Nasty & Shane Styles: Come on, Cage! Own both these badboys at once!
He listed a total of 21 fantasy matches with current and former BG East wrestlers he’d enjoy facing.  Each one is a feast for the homoerotic wrestling imagination. Of Cage Thunder’s most authoritative list, in addition to Wade, Dante, and Tony, I’d also pull out my wallet and unzip my pants to see him in the ring against the Nasty One, Beau Nasty. Beau made Cage Thunder’s list for his “nasty attitude, beautifully proportioned lean, muscular body, a smoking hot ass,” and his “evil sneer.” I’d also add that Beau could pack the front of his trunks with the bet of them. However, here’s where I’d expand on the potently hot pick that Cage Thunder made on his blog.  Sure, Beau would exact some sublime suffering, but I it’s inconceivable to me that Cage Thunder would fail to end up with one hand wrapped around the base of Beau’s cock and balls and the other squeezing Beau’s luscious ass. Now, that works for me, don’t get me wrong! But throw in Beau’s frequent tag team partner, Shane Styles, for a 2-on-1 ring romp, doing his best to defend his buddy’s vulnerable junk, and then we’d have likely one of my top 5 favorite matches of all time. I suspect Cage Thunder wouldn’t mind too much the extra effort of taming both boys at the same time!

The Enforcer: 5’11”, 210 lbs., chisel-chinned, muscle beast!

The Thunder in the “Thunder and Lightning” reigning champs asked for comments naming which wrestler fans would put at the very top of the list of fantasy matches for him. You know me. I’ve always got an opinion. It only took me about 30 seconds to decide, but I really can’t imagine who else I’d rather see in an all out brutal battle of masked muscle destruction than a heel vs. heel ring match in the BG East ring room against undefeated god of the underworld, the Enforcer. Just the idea of a battle of brutal muscle bashing between these two makes me weak in the knees.  Either Enforcer would finally crush and tame Cage Thunder, or my co-owner of the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month would tame the silent beast and, if my fantasies were to come true, unmask the granite chinned hunk, rip his trunks off of him, and turn the Enforcer into a quivering mass of sweat and cum trapped in the corner. I’d be pulling for the latter scenario!

Mitch Colby punishing Cage Thunder!? Oh, if only this were more than “just” art!

All this said, of course, skips the obvious. Whatever genius devised a photoshoot of pro wrestling holds between Cage Thunder and Mitch Colby but failed to book an actual match between them produced an epic fail of mind boggling proportions. The heat generated just by my mentioning lovely Mitch to Cage Thunder is enough to prove that this match is absolute gold just waiting to be unearthed!