Having recently moved, I’m getting accustomed to a lot of new things. The weatherman keeps reporting on “thund-uh-stoams.” There are apparently 100 ticks for every human being in the region. And it’s fucking hot.
That last part makes me rethink my decision to ignore places with swimming pools in my housing search when I moved here a month and a half ago. I’ve always thought of pools as a pain in the ass. And, honestly, this climate calls for outdoor pools no more than about 25% of the year, so it seemed like a waste. But damn. It’s fucking hot.
I’m sure I’ve posted here about my ambivalence about the swimming pool genre in homoerotic wrestling, but I’m too lazy right now to look it up for you (did I mention how hot it is?). So let me just reiterate. On the con side, pool wrestling too often submerges more than half of the available eye candy. Upper bodies are privileged as the only thing we can see most of the time (and neglecting attention to hot legs is another, more global complaint I make often). There’s probably about 80% of wrestling holds that just don’t translate to a pool. A Boston crab would likely lead to manslaughter charges.
But on the other end of the ambivalent spectrum, I love wet muscles. On that point, sweat, shower scenes, and oil wrestling tweak the same kink in me that pool wrestling does. There’s also something inherently playful about pool wrestling. Watching homoerotic wrestlers do it, it certainly appears to take many of them back to the same days of juvenile, carefree summers getting yelled at for horsing around in and around the pool, playfully bullying chums by seeing who can dunk the other, games of chicken, perched on top of each others’ shoulders and seeing who can topple whom.
Kid Vicious demonstrates how standing headscissors take on a whole new significance in the pool in Wet & Wild 4
While I couldn’t stand an exclusive diet of homoerotic wrestling in the pool, like fresh corn on the cob and the sweetest of watermelons, it’s a seasonal treat that can work for me. Though I have to say I prefer it to conclude with bronzed bodies baking in the sun, making out naked poolside.
Perusing the list of June new releases in homoerotic wrestling, I was seriously torn as to who I wanted to pick for homoerotic wrestler of the month. Honestly, I was agonizing about this choice way, way more than a totally subjective, ultimately meaningless recognition like this deserves. I was charmed and turned on by so many wrestling hunks in June. There were so many former HWOTM title holders in the mix, it was guaranteed to be a tough call. But then, finally, a comment on this blog brought it all into focus for me. Someone complained that, in his opinion, I focus far too much on twinks. In fact, if I keep focusing so much on twinks, this commentator warned that he may have to stop reading neverland. Twinks, twinks, twinks, just too many twinks. And then my choice for homoerotic wrestler of the month came into crystal clear focus. My homoerotic wrestler of the month for June 2016 is…
As I’ve mentioned several times, these 4 gorgeous wrestlers put together a sensational tag team drama in BG East’s Tag Team Torture 19 that simultaneously tickled my funny bone and turned me on. They successfully construct a compelling drama rife with extravagant attitude and sweet suspense. I doubt that any of these 4 handsome studs were born when I was watching the loud, larger than life, character-driven pro wrestling of indy pro wrestling in the 1980s. Yet, somehow their tag team showdown grabbed precisely that nostalgia and wedded it seamlessly with 2016 sensibilities and technology. While my choice may irk each and every one of these fine specimens (it is hard to imagine Ty Alexander “sharing” anything at all, isn’t it?), I honestly couldn’t isolate any one performance in TTT19 as the pivotal, standout contribution to this pivotal, standout ensemble. Only twicebefore have I named more than one hunk as HWOTM, and never have I named as many as 4 co-title winners. But I’m feeling really, really good about this decision. So if you’re tired of me getting off on adorable, lean, lithe, lickably sweet twinks, pucker up and kiss my ass, because I’m lauding 4 of them.
Charlie suffers like a champ
One of the two newbies in the quartet of HWOTM winners, ginger house-on-fire Charlie Evans earned his spot on the dais based on several factors. First, his opening handstand headscissors snap mare is a work of art. It’s acrobatic and extravagant and incredibly confident. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before in a homoerotic wrestling match, and I’m crazy hot for a newbie who pulls off high quality, high impact innovation right out of the gate. And then when Charlie weathers a boatload of double-team brutality from Team Vanity, my admiration and crush on crushable Charlie steadily grows.
Twinktastic!
Frankly, I don’t really think of any of the other 3 winners this month as twinks, but Charlie? Of fuck, yes, I’d consider him an incredibly tasty twink morsel, and, clearly, I’m an unapologetic fan of Charlie’s smooth, lean body. Charlie embodies something delicately vulnerable, so lightweight that his opponents repeatedly manhandle him like a sack of potatoes. At 130 pounds, he simply doesn’t have the mass and thickness that most wrestlers use for leverage in the ring. But then again, Charlie appears made out of kevlar. Blow after blow, potentially crippling hold after hold, body slam after body slam, the ginger twink takes the hits and just keeps clawing his way back up for more. I expect big, big things out of lovely, little Charlie Evans, and I’ve got no qualms at all about him sitting his fine, fine ass on the throne as HWOTM.
Christian Taylor owns the ring like he owns the HWOTM title
Christian Taylor is no stranger to the HWOTM winner’s sash. In the current quartet of HWOTM winners, Christian represents the most BG East experience, though most of that has been on the mats rather than in the ring. He’s also a standout in the crowd, standing a full half a foot taller than Charlie and taller than both members of Team Vanity. Christian grabbed the reins in the HWOTM race right around the moment when he and Charlie have cleaned house in the opening minutes of the match, full of contempt for their selfie-obsessed opponents. They each grab one of their opponents’ mobile phones and populate the photo libraries of Ty and Chase with the All-Americans’ own handsome mugs. But then Christian takes it one step further, instructing Charlie to follow his lead in taking photos down the front of their own trunks to give the narcissists some humiliation to suck on later. Babyface dicks? Fuck yes, this is homoerotic wrestling done right!
Devastated and devastatingly handsome
Christian’s ripped torso takes my breath away. If pressed to apply a label, I’d put him securely in the “jock” category. He sexes up everything he touches, and if there’s one misstep in TTT19, it’s the absence of Christian’s signature move, a long, wet, soul sucking lip lock (like seriously, show Charlie some lovin’ for taking that beating solo!). But what Christian does bring is a body to die for, a face to launch a thousand ships, and sensationally sexy focus both dishing out and soaking up pro punishment. He deserved it the first time Christian earned the HWOTM title, and he abundantly earns it again.
Chase works that appendage protruding from between his legs like a pro!
Chase Addams is the other rookie debut in TTT19, and like I said to Chase, he looks damned seasoned in his first BG East match. It would be easy to get overshadowed being the tag team partner of Ty Alexander (I think we can all agree on that, can’t we?). However, Chase carves out plenty of ring space all his own, both working independently and working off of the Trophy Boy. Chase’s full-throated commitment to his half of Team Vanity’s narcissist-off-the-rails narrative is outstanding. In the opening moments of this match, I was worried that the sexy newbie would be all flash and no go. Then he gets his turn sinking his claws deep into his babyface opponents, and… oh, fuck, no, he’s got plenty of go.
Call it what you will, this is sensational pro wrestling punishment!
But it’s Chase’s chickenwing suspended backbreaker (or, what? fuck I haven’t seen anything quite like this before) on Christian that finally convinces me that Chase is the real deal. The precision and execution of this hold is incredible. Is Chase a twink, however? I’m not really sure what silo to throw him into. He’s got a little too much muscle, and he’s way too much of a badass for me to think of him as a twink. He’s not hard enough, probably not yet toned enough to fit neatly in the jock category. He is pretty, though, and effortlessly sexy. I’d do body shots off his salted nipples in a heartbeat. So I’m fine with Chase without, as yet, possessing a label, but if you need something to call him, just call him homoerotic wrestler of the month.
All about Ty(‘s ass)
Finally, there’s Trohpy Boy Ty Alexander rounding out this foursome. This is Ty’s second drink at the HWOTM watering hole. And in TTT19, he is the “Ty-est” he’s ever been. There’s always been at least a glimpse of a narcissist in Ty’s wrestling resume, but he showed up for TTT19 in full bloom. He’s self-obsessed, raunchy, rowdy, and vicious as hell. There’s something quintessentially “Ty” about leaving your trunks pulled down your thonged asscheeks for nearly the entire match, for the sole reason that you possess Ty’s bronzed bubble butt. The Team Vanity versus the All-Americans stage dressing on TTT19 would have fundamentally fallen short if Ty had been any less extreme, any less over the top. And this is not a failure, by any means.
Christian rips Ty apart
And let’s be clear, I think Ty’s got a hot body (if you aren’t convinced, just ask him). Just like the evolution of his dangerously skilled narcissist character, Ty’s been beefing up and presenting a fitter physique in each and every match. The unapologetic narcissist in pro wrestling is pretty much guaranteed, almost by definition, to generate its own contrapuntal. Ty titillates and provokes in ways that are deceptively and carefully calculated. If you already think Ty is a hot piece of ass, then I need not argue the point further. However, if Ty irritates you, if he sort of pisses you off, if you find yourself filled with contempt for him, thinking out loud that he’s just not as hot as he thinks he is, and if, in response, you find yourself wanting to see his Trophy Boy ass beaten and humiliated because he’s just too self-obsessed, too confident, too convinced of his devastating good looks, then, again I say, Ty has done his job. That’s what pro wrestling narcissists do, they provoke you into crushing on them or aching to see them get their asses beat, which Ty does better than almost anyone. So, yeah, love him or hate him, Ty’s a chart topper and provides absolutely essential ingredients to TTT19 that earn him his full share of the HWOTM title.
So it’s an unconventional choice, but as I’ve explained often, it’s my choice. I know what I like, and that’s all this blog has been about for over seven years. You may have made a different choice, and you’re welcome to start your own blog and do just that, but here, and now, I’m more than satisfied with selecting 4 lovely, lithe, lean, handsome, delicious young studs as co-winners of the title of HWOTM for June 2016.
June 2016 Homoerotic Wrestlers of the Month: Christian Taylor, Charlie Evans, Ty Alexander, and Chase Addams
So much virtual ink has been spilled over the opening match in Tag Team Torture 19, I figured everything that could be said has been said by now. You’ve heard my opinions, Alex’s opinions, Joe’s opinions, and most recently, Wrestling Arsenal’s opinions on the classic confrontation between star spangled All-Americans Christian Taylor and Charlie Evans facing off agains Team Vanity, Ty Alexander and Chase Addams. But of everything that’s been said about this match, one thing we haven’t heard is what the wrestlers themselves might have to say about this much lauded new release. I’m tickled pink camo to report that both members of Team Vanity agreed to sit down with me and reflect on what went right and what went wrong for them in Tag Team Torture 19. I was so pleased that Ty and Chase were willing to set aside the bad blood that boiled over between them on camera to team up again for this interview. But not everything that tore them apart in TTT19 is exactly put back together again, and things go off the rails before the interview has even started, as you’ll see. There were hard words, hard feelings, and hard cocks (well, at least mine) by the time this chaotic twofer interview concluded, so buckle up, whip out your “selfie stick,” and enjoy the hard sell charm offense of 2015 Jobber of the Year Ty Alexander and dangerously charming newbie Charming Chase Addams.
Team Vanity: Ty Alexander and Chase Addams
Bard: I haven’t seen any sign of Ty yet.
Chase: Late as usual.
Bard: Well, let’s get this started, and hope that Ty shows up sooner rather than later. It is a great pleasure to get to talk with you, Chase!
Chase: Pleasure is mine.
Bard: You made quite an impression on BG East fans with your stunning debut on Tag Team Torture 19. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard of a rookie debuting with two matches on one DVD before. How was it for you to get introduced to the meat grinder that is BG East competition?
Chase shows off his “different set of skills” all over Christian.
Chase: Not going to lie, it was a bit nerve racking. I’m not exactly your cookie cutter BG performer. I definitely brought a different build and different set of skills to the ring, and I wasn’t for sure how well received it would be. But so far everyone seems to be responding pretty positively to me.
Bard: Uh, hell yes! All the buzz that I’ve seen and heard has been very positive. So what are some of those different skills that you’ve brought with you to BG East, and where did you learn them?
Chase: I’m definitely very pro orientated, without having been a pro on the indy circuit, like BG normally brings in. I haven’t had the time traveling around and performing, so I had to practice over and over again in the ring in St. Louis until everything got perfect
Bard: You’re a mid-West boy?
Chase: Heartland born and raised. I’ve only lived near St. Louis for about two and a half years now.
Bard: Have you always been into wrestling, or is this relatively new?
Chase: I’ve always been a wrestling fan. I grew up on guys like Bret Hart. I was too young, in my parents opinion, to watch the Attitude era, so I got to start watching it again in about 2002, I think. Randy Orton and Evolution were becoming a thing. So no, this isn’t new for me.
Bard: You look pretty damned seasoned in TTT19. That was some fine, technical wrestling. Who would you say your style is modeled after?
Chase is partial to a joint snapping armbar.
Chase: I think my style is a bit of a mix. I see something that someone does that impresses me and I add that to my list. Currently, I’ve been watching a lot of Zach Sabre Jr, and Becky Lynch lately. Something about armbars are so simple and so effective.
Bard: You nearly rip apart more than a couple of arms in TTT19 with those armbars and wristlocks. Was it all science and calculations for you, or did you enjoy putting a hurt on your opponents?
Chase: I go in with a game plan, but if something else seems to work better, I can be a little flexible. If there is blood in the water, I go right for it.
Bard: That definitely shows. The match description on the website suggests that Ty gets some credit for bringing you into BG East. How did your relationship with the Trophy Boy come about?
Things Fall Apart
Chase: I met Ty through a former BG wrestler, and he introduced us. Ty and I kept in touch, and he was a pretty strong advocate for bringing me into the company.
Bard: It should come as no surprise to fans for me to reveal that things go south for your tag team relationship. I mean, it turns really, really ugly there. I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised that Ty is, thus far, standing us up for what had been agreed to be a joint interview. Are things still icy between the two of you?
Chase: I’m fine with everything. His ego is probably still recovering from the two matches. It is unfortunate that he couldn’t bother to show up for this. It’s disrespectful to the both of us really.
Bard: I know well that Ty has a very sizable ego. In your working relationship with him, as brief as it was, how would you handicap the Trophy Boy? What would you say is his biggest asset in the ring, and, conversely, what would you say is Ty’s biggest weakness?
Chase: I’m sure in his opinion his biggest asset would be his ass. He seems to find a way to get it hanging out every match…the entire match. He gets so caught up in himself that it really hinders him.
Ty: [arriving and interrupting] I’m here now, so you can start the interview.
Chase: So glad you could be bothered to join us.
Bard: I’m glad you could make it after all, Ty!
It takes time to look this good.
Ty: Sorry, Bard. I spent all night picking out my week’s gear. Gotta look amazing in the ring. Takes a lot out of a guy. Had to get that beauty sleep in, and I mean, come on! It takes time to look this good. So you can understand, I’m sure. Also had to polish my multiple awards. Debut, wrestler of the year, and all that. You know how it is.
Chase: And, my point is proven.
Bard: [laughing] Interestingly, Chase was just sharing that he thinks your obsession with your ass may be your biggest weakness when you climb into the ring. How you feel about that?
Ty: How can an ass like this be a weakness!? Oh, Chase is here too, huh [just noticing]? Yeah, I totally forgot about that one. I mean he did get a close up look of it.
Ty’s assets
Bard: [laughing] Too true! Your tag team opponents shoved your face right between Ty’s bubble cheeks, Chase. Is Ty’s ass as phenomenal as it’s made out to be?
Ty: [interrupting as Chase starts to reply] I can answer that. Yes, yes it is. I mean look at this! It gave Kid Karisma competition finally for best ass. And sorry, Chase, when your photos have as many admirers as mine do you will understand being fashionably late.
Chase: When you’re a professional, you show up on time.
Bard: Okay, this is going to get out of hand, I can tell. So, Ty, since I gave Chase a chance to handicap you, what would you say are Chase’s biggest asset and weakness as a ring rookie?
Ty: Assets? Hmm. Have to think about that [tapping his chin, looking stumped].
Bard: Seriously, you have nothing complimentary to say about your tag team partner!?
Team Vanity doesn’t know what just hit them (each other).
Ty: I’d say Chase is an amazing wrestler. There is no doubt about that. But that’s just it: he’s a rookie. I mean so many rookie mistakes. I mean, who falls for the oldest trick in the book of tripping over a foot?! Seriously!? Also that ghostly lack of a tan. I’m sure Charlie can see him coming a mile away.
Bard: Well, I suppose that answers the assets and weaknesses question. What would each of you say are the ingredients of a successful tag team?
Ty: Matching outfits, of course! Gotta coordinate everything perfectly. The look. The attitude. That’s why I tried to groom Chase in the best way possible: in my image. I mean, come on, look at that look! We looked awesome!
Chase: Synergy is important. The two involved need to be on the same level. When one is dragging the other along by his overly tan hide, it gets a little strenuous on the other.
Ty: Yeah, you were a good bit under my level, thanks for admitting that.
Bard: Well, both of you have put your finger on my next question, which is where did Team Vanity go off the rails? So much promise. Fabulously matching gear. Serious ring skills. But those All-Americans seriously own you both at multiple points in your match. What went wrong?
Ty: Another thing a tag team needs is concern for their partner, which I had. Chase took a hit to the face, and who was there to look and make sure nothing happened? Me, that’s who. The poor guy would have been lost without me.
Chase: Such a caring partner. Especially with the elbow drop across my face
Ty: I only did it to reset you nose after the little ginger bitch hit you. I was helping! I’d say things fell apart with Chase being a klutz and ramming his face into my balls when he tripped over Christian’s foot. A concerned partner would have also tried to pull my trunks up, but I also understand how distracting it could be. It happens.
Bard: What do you think was the nail in the coffin of Team Vanity, Chase?
Ty: That nail of a nose in my perfect ass [cough, cough].
Chase: When he decided to attack me, aka, the elbow to my face.
Ty: I told you, I was trying to fix your nose!!! No appreciation from these rookies, I swear. Try to help them, and they think you attack them, ugh. No trust at all.
In the grudge match that follows their tag team debut, it’s not always clear who has whom!
Bard: [laughing] So, can we talk about your singles match, that followed that fateful tag team car crash with the All-Americans? You both look incredibly evenly matched for the first third of the match or so. Were you surprised by how close that match was?
Chase: I felt bad during the first part of the match. His bruised ego and all. I was holding back for his sake.
Chase leaves bruises.
Ty: Bruised ego, huh? Not at all. My ego is in tact. What wasn’t was my body after you caused more damage than our opponents during our tag team match. Busted lip, sore ass, welt on my head, sprained ankle. I couldn’t take pics all day, damn it! But to answer the actual question, Bard, I wasn’t so surprised. After all, he was emulating me.
Bard: Now that sounds serious, if Ty wasn’t physically able to take selfies.
Ty: I know! Don’t worry, though. I have made a full recovery
Chase: [rolling eyes] Joyous.
Ty: Shut up, Chase! I should have known you were up to no good. Wearing all that camo. Sneaky son of a bitch. See, Bard, gear obviously makes the match. He needed to cheat by wearing camo. It even helped hide that bleached body of his.
This grudge match is personal!
Bard: [laughing] Well, I think that answers my question about any ongoing bad blood between the two of you. I’m trying not to include too much of a spoiler here for fans who haven’t seen the matches, but it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise that you both suffer hard at each other’s hands. They say no one can hurt you worse than a lover, and I’m wondering if something similar holds for pro wrestling. No one knows how to hurt you worse than a tag team partner. Do you think you two could ever patch things up and give the tag team circuit another try?
For the record: Chase will NOT worship the ground Ty walks on.
Chase: Ty seems to want to “mold me into his image.” I’m not down for that. I don’t plan on having my career being based off of being Ty’s tag team partner. I’m skillful enough to stand on my own. Ty likes to call me “this rookie.” I haven’t been doing this for a decade, but I have been doing this on my own for the past two and a half years. This isn’t my first rodeo, and it won’t be my last. So, in short, Ty can go find someone else to worship the ground he walks on.
Ty: You know what? Fine, you ungrateful ass. I will! There are tons of BG East prospects who would kill to tag with me. I was going to give you a second chance. Give you an opportunity to try your own thing, but please, by all means, see how far you go, little man. And two and a half years!? Ha! Please, I’ve been doing it way longer than you, buddy.
Bard: Now that’s a definitive “no!” Based on what I’ve seen, I’d say you definitely have everything you need to stand on your own, Chase. You mentioned early on, before Ty arrived, that you don’t have a typical physical build for BG East wrestlers. Can we talk about your body just a bit?
Chase: Sure thing, Bard.
Ty: His body!? Huh, please. You really think that can stand up to Kayden, Guido, Kid Karisma? Ha! They would snap him like a twig.
You aren’t looking at Chase’s shoulders, are you?
Bard: So, sure Ty, chime in here, but I want to talk about the fresh meat on the table, namely, Chase’s body. Personally, Chase, I think you’ve got a sensational body for pro wrestling. And you know what discerning eyes BG East fans have. I know what I like about your body, but what are you particularly proud of about your physique, Chase?
Ty: I’ll keep my comments to myself. No matter how much of a disappointment he is, I can’t deny Chase the compliment that he has a nice body. Trust me, he does work hard.
Chase: Well, I’m constantly striving to be better, but I’m told I have nice shoulders [laughing].
Bard: I could see that, Chase. Your shoulders are sexy. You also have unquestionably sexy nipples. I’m hoping that you and Mason Brooks square off at some point for a sexy nipple contest.
Mason and Chase need to settle this in the ring!
Chase: I would love to face Mason over who has better nipples! I’m sure that’d be fun!
Bard: Uh, fuck yes, that would be fun!!! Oh, you mean for you? Yes, I get the sense that wrestling Mason is intensely pleasant and painful all at the same time. Can you talk more about what you meant when you said you have a “different build” than most wrestlers at BG East?
Slender with a bit of mass.
Chase: I’m more slender, but I still have a bit of mass on me. It’s like I’m the best of both worlds combined.
Ty: [laughing] Best of both worlds? You’re in your own little world, that’s for sure.
Bard: Like I said, I think you’re mighty fine, Chase. I do think that some BG East fans key in on one particular body type. Some like the massive bodybuilders. Others get off on bear daddies. Some like the fashion models. As for me, I savor them all. And I think you bring a great look and a very sexy bod to contribute to the mix. Ty brought up the challenge that you face now that you’ve been introduced to the ranks of BG East, namely big, bruising heels with boatloads of wrestling experience and anywhere from 30 to 60 pounds of muscle mass advantage over you. Have you thought about how you’d handle the big, big bad boys at BG East?
Ty:I think a BG East veteran would be skeptical of his ability to handle the bigger guys, that’s for sure.
Chase: There is plenty more of me that the audience hasn’t seen of me yet.
Bard: Well, I for one am eager to sample more. I think you may want to watch your back, though. Ty seems to be nursing a grudge.
Ty: Not at all. A grudge? Never! Never that. [laughing evilly] I mean, why would I plot the downfall and pain of someone who I eagerly wait to see again soon?
Chase: He can be bitter and butt-hurt all he wants. I don’t mind.
Ty: Bitter and butt-hurt? [laughing] Please, just you wait, you little wannabe pretty boy. I have personal connections inside BG, and with the Boss. You think you can take on some of the bigger guys, be my guest. I can’t wait to see the result. I’m sure Boss Leopard will have a few things to say about your bitch attitude
“lift, crunch, press, fuck”
Bard: So, Ty, what about you? I recently described you as seeming to be in the process of becoming your truest self. Your wrestling skills, your body, your attitude… you’ve been on a steep climb in your career thus far, and you’ve been making huge advances. That said, your actual success in the ring has been limited. What’s in store for you?
Ty: For me? Oh, lots in store for me. I have been working hard with people from all over getting tips and training more with the Boss and Firestorm. Can I help it that people love me when I get my ass whopped? Not really, but those are what the Boss gives me for opponents. Bigger guys that some of the smaller ones are too afraid to face, because the Boss knows I can take it. That being said, you have seen two total pieces so far of my expansive Trophy Boy collection. There are many colors of the rainbow, and with my new attitude, outlook, and training, I’m gonna be way more aggressive and more cocky. I’m not afraid of anyone. And I know what “assets” I have to work to my advantage.
Ty’s not afraid of the big boys!
Chase: Everyone deserves to feel special, even Ty. I’m sure Ty is going to continue his transformation into becoming the Kathy Griffin of BGE. All talk, all annoyance, all day, everyday.
Ty: Ha! I’m not D-List, Chase, I’m all A-List! Buckle up, little man. And buckle up, fans. There is a new Ty in town, and he’s here to stay.
Bard: I think you both have very, very bright futures ahead of you. Ty, if you could give one piece of advice to Chase as he looks to take his next steps in his wrestling career, what would it be?
Chase: Oh, this ought to be good.
“This ought to be good.”
Ty: Watch your ba….. I mean, um, work hard keep training and get better.
Bard: [laughing] Sounds like good advice, Ty. Chase, as someone who has studied the sport extensively and worked closely with your former tag team partner here, what advice would you give to Ty at this point in his career?
Chase: Say your prayers, take your vitamins, stay in school, don’t do drugs. If he hasn’t learned anything by this point, he’s not going to. He’s been doing this for so much longer than I have, yet I’ve surpassed him in skill. Not much I can do for that.
Ty: Cocky little shit. I can’t wait to see you get your ass beaten. In fact I want a front row seat.
Chase: Only if we can find a muzzle for you.
Ty: Been there done that in a match.
Bard: Sage advice, all around. Well, I for one am truly sorry that Team Vanity seems to have run its course so soon. I loved your chemistry, and I’m sorry that more tag team opponents won’t get the opportunity to get ripped apart by the two of you in tandem. However, I am anxiously anticipating the next chapters in both of your wrestling careers. I hope you’ll both stay in touch with me and let neverland readers know how things are going for you on and off camera as things unfold for you.
Chase: Anything for you, Bard.
Bard: Hey, now. Keep talking like that, and I bet you’ll get very glowing reviews, Chase!
Ty: Always pleasure to interview for you, Bard. Even if the co-interviewee is Chase.
Bard: You’re a force of nature, Ty. I’m glad you were able to join us after all. This interview was a little like herding cats, but I was delighted to get to talk to you both. Thanks for letting fans in on a little more of what goes into the epic rise and fall of such a promising tag team!
Chase: Thanks again, Bard.
Ty: Later.
The future looks bright for Chase Addams and Ty Alexander.
It seems like several of us bloggers have been anxious for some satisfying tag team wrestling. Count this as the third of, thus far, three reviews that I’m aware of the first match in BG East’s Tag Team Torture 19. Joe published a straightforward match summary that catches the spirit and pace of the match. Like Joe, the antics had me laughing at times, though it seems as though the match may have stroked my kink a little more successfully than it did Joe’s. Alex was actually first out of the gate with an insightful review of the same bout. As Alex points out, this is a classically crafted tag team match full of respect and full throttle enthusiasm for old school tag team melodrama. I whole heartedly agree. It’s over-the-top, character-driven pro wrestling action, but over-the-top only as far as classic pro tag team wrestling (think at least 30 years ago) was over-the-top. So often, homoerotic wrestling products succeed precisely by bringing the camera in close and documenting the humanity (and obvious erotic text/sub-text) of pro wrestling in intimate detail. TTT19 pans back, paints with a broad brush, and successfully conveys a pro wrestling narrative that’s larger than life and perfectly on pitch for conveying heroes and villains, inflated egos and strained alliances, astonishingly high quality wrestling finesse and blunt force trauma.
Ring veterans Ty Alexander and Christian Taylor sell
First, let me give a nod to veterans in the ring. Both Christian Taylor and Ty Alexander have possessed the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month here at neverland in the past, and they both have earned a huge fan following. Ty is, over time, crystalizing into his truest self, I think, with TTT19 documenting his deepest, darkest descent to date into dangerous, raging, psychopathological self-infatuation. And Christian clearly stores a secret portrait of himself in the attic, because he is somehow fitter, younger, and prettier than ever (despite my being assured by insiders that this match was very recently shot). Ty does heel jobber to perfection, and Christian is the quintessential hot, hardworking, never say die babyface veteran.
Ginger babyface Charlie Evans
Pairing each of these veterans with a fresh, raw newbie was a stroke of genius. To start with, I’ve had my eye on Charlie Evans for about 8 months, since first catching sight of him at MDW. In TTT19, he’s a fantastic sidekick to his superheroic partner. About 80% of the time, wearing stars and stripes gear is a very bad omen for BG East wrestlers, but there’s a cocky irreverence about the All-Americans that keeps me on the hook. The good guys start the action by interrupting their opponents’ endless selfie obsession and delivering a beautifully synchronized beatdown on the badboys (an extremely cathartic moment for me, frankly). But then I literally stand up and cheer when bantam weight Charlie executes a handstand monkey flip, flinging a stunned Trophy Boy out of the corner and instantly into Christian’s waiting crotch-ripping spladle. This is NOT going to be a flat-footed pushing and shoving match. This is fucking serious pro wrestling!
Chase Addams almost steals the show
Ty’s newbie partner, Chase Addams, has also instantly put me on the hook. I despise him (in a good way) before he even climbs into the ring. The smirk. The duck face. That fucking annoying headband. Within about 8 seconds of showing up on camera, he’s completely embodied the rash, cocky, unsportsmanlike pro wrestling heel he is. His trash talk and running commentary nearly steal the entire show for me. The match pivots on Chase’s quick wit and character flaws, like when Team Vanity is isolating and working the fuck out of each of their opponents in turn, with Ty bearing down big time on Christian with a gorgeous dragon sleeper. Ty shouts over his shoulder to make sure that his rookie partner is documenting this magnificent moment on his cell phone camera, but Chase is busy adoring his own handsome face staring back at him instead. It’s also Chase who kicks off the sexy-as-hell device of demanding, mid-submission hold, to hear from his opponent whose submission hold hurts worse, his or Ty’s. I don’t know where Charming Chase came from or what pro wrestling school he purportedly graduated from, but he’s emerged as a fully formed pro wrestler who can pace a complicated match with impressive acumen.
Chase cranks up the pressure (in my crotch)
Lest I make this match sound too, too straight, let me also say that both newbies in TTT19 are cranking my engine with both hands. There’s something sort of elven about Charming Chase, sort of kick-ass pretty, like Legolas ripping off his clothes and pumping out a most muscular to intimidate a foe. He’s lean and fit, but not whittled or swoll. On the one hand, I could picture some of the seriously big boys at BG East snapping the Charming One like a twig, but on the other hand, there’s a hard core center to Chase that makes me equally able to picture him cheating and stealing and clawing the fuck out of a big, muscle daddy’s balls to level the playing field. Like I said, that smirking, sneering, self-obsessed attitude makes me fucking hate this kid with relish, AND I’m pounding 5 or 6 out dedicated especially to him before I’m all done with this DVD.
Charlie is one tough son of a bitch!
My physical arousal for Charlie Evans takes me just a little by surprise. He’s so insanely lean, absolutely whittled down to an anatomy chart with a shock of ginger hair. I frequently key off on wrestlers with more mass, usually more muscle size, sometimes just more size overall, but Charlie carved out his own space in my wrestling lusts. I momentarily worry for the bantam weight when Team Vanity is double teaming the shit out of him. There’s a delicate veneer on Charlie that looks like it very well could shatter, strung up in that tree of woe with Ty’s knee grinding the Trophy Boy’s entire bodyweight down into Charlie’s balls. But the ginger babyface sucks down the punishment like it’s Diet Coke on ice. Screaming, sure, but the gritty undercoat on Charlie turns me on hard as I slowly grow to trust that those ultra lean limbs aren’t going to snap under his opponent’s assault. He’s also got a seriously above average ass on that lean, lean frame. And when he gets just a little giddy with the thrill of reigning down punishment on his narcissistic opponents, damn, I’m nursing a major hard on and just a little bit of a crush.
Double Armbar Suspended Backbreaker? I just call this sexy as fuck!
Alex and Joe have done a great job of outlining what this match attempts and accomplishes, so I’ll just call out a couple more moments that stick with me and make me enjoy this match so much. I don’t know if it a”double armbar suspended backbreaker” is the most poetic way to describe the hold that Chase wraps Christian up in, but whatever the fuck it is, it makes me gasp. Christian looks like a twist tie. There are about two dozen ways this sculpture could come crashing to the ground in a miserable heap, but it doesn’t, and Chase makes this work like a seasoned pro. And fuck, it looks like it hurts!
My heroes!
I also love, love, love this breed of All-American babyface heroes who despise their self-obsessed opponents just a tad more than they are devoted to following the rules. They signal their contempt very early, right after the opening salvo in which they slap Team Vanity down like bitches. Christian and Charlie high five each other for a job well done (thus far, at least), and they spontaneously peel out of their Stars and Stripes board shorts to battle the rest of the way in sensationally brief Stars and Stripes speedos. Why do they take their board shorts off? It isn’t really clear, but I read this moment as a direct challenge to the “pretty title” that Team Vanity seem to have already awarded themselves. Just to drive home the point, Charlie and Christian (the heroes, let me remind you), grab their opponents’ cell phones, tug at the top of their speedos, and take selfies of their own cocks, just to remind Chase and Ty after all is said and done just how much the All-Americans were packing in this match. It’s a similar vibe to the completely illicit double teaming that Christian and Charlie inflict on Ty, with a gorgeous face-to-crotch smothering headscissors by Christian with a Boston crab chaser by Charlie just to make the humiliation and agony that much worse. It’s audacious. It’s rude. It’s completely gratuitous and self-congratulatory. And I could seriously back this brand of postmodern babyface heroes!
Ty sucks on the pain and humiliation
There are just a few things that would have perfected this match that much more for me. For one, all those selfies… fuck, I’ve said it before and, sadly, I’ll probably say it again, publish those fuckers!!! And I’m not (just) talking about the cock shots of the All-Americans (though, yeah, that would be major value added). I think when they bring multi-media into the narrative, it would be so sweet to download those pics and make them part of the promotion. Dial up the immediacy and authenticity by sprinkling in some of those very shots of Chase and Ty duckfacing, of the All-Americans screaming in submission, of the ultimate losers flat out cold and helplessly documented.
I want that cell phone photo!!!
Another missed opportunity here is that this is a Christian Taylor match with no kissing. Christian is the reigning kissing king at BG East, and I’m slightly bitter that all of the self-congratulations the All-Americans enjoy doesn’t include a liplock for lucky, lucky Charlie.
Sensational!
Regardless of what isn’t in this match, by the end of it all, I’m a little more infatuated with every single one of these battlers. I love the story, and I’m thrilled with the action. There’s an unapologetic and out loud vibe throughout the match, and I’m not just talking about Chase’s face getting shoved into his partner’s ass. These are 4 hot boys who convey a genuine love and respect for pro wrestling and gay fans. I can’t wait to see more of Charlie and Chase. I never fail to be entranced by Christian. And I love the ever growing dangerousness of the Ty that makes his Trophy Boy narcissism many times more multi-dimensional.
It’s taken a few weeks, but I’m thrilled to report that I’ve relocated chez Bard to greener pastures. My life is still mostly in boxes, but internet is up an running, so all is right with the world again. I’ve had the opportunity to watch just a little homoerotic wrestling during the transition, and I’ve got some exciting features and interviews in the pipeline. For today, though, I’ll just call out the eye catching new release teasers that have been making me salivate. As I’ve mused about before, there’s something a little magical about that liminal time between the first glimpse of marketing of new homoerotic wrestling matches and the moment of putting eyes on the product itself. I’m still consuming about 75% of my wrestling in DVD format, so that enticing moment of promise and anticipation can stretch at least a few days as the US Postal Service makes its way to my door (happily, that distance is considerably shorter for most of my favorite wrestling producers after this last move). Sometimes the marketing inspires my imagination in ways that the actual product never quite matches, but sometimes I’m particularly pleased to be caught by surprise, thrown a twist, or simply served up exactly the titillating, provocative wrestling fare that my heart desired. In the last couple of weeks, the following new releases have been tweaking my fantasies, and being between addresses has meant the opportunity to suck down that gratification has been even more delayed. What follows are the tried and true favorites of mine, and every match mentioned below features a hunk I’ve named homoerotic wrestler of the month in the past. I’m sure you’ll see reviews of at least some of these in the coming weeks as I settle into my new home and new routine, but for now, just the first glimpses catching my eye.
Christian Taylor and Charlie Evans tag up in Tag Team Torture 19
First of all, this tag team in the opening match of Tag Team Torture 19 is spinning me right round. I haven’t felt a good scratching of my ongoing itch for hot, erotic tag team wrestling in a long time, and the pairing of sensationally handsome and ripped veteran Christian Taylor (former homoerotic wrestler of the month around here) with lovely, lithe newbie and fan of neverland, Charlie Evans, could be just what the doctor ordered.
Team Vanity: Ty Alexander & Charlie Evans
Increasing my anticipation of this Tag Team Torture 19 match are Christian and Charlie’s opponents. Of course, I sit up and take notice when one of my boybanders, Ty Alexander, climbs into the ring, looking fitter and finer than ever. But his fan-turned-tag partner Chase Addams could very well need to join the band. Newbie heels are are a hard sell for me, though, so the jury is out as to whether the new kid’s marketed phenomenal attitude and ring skills will make me want to throw my underwear at him.
Matt Thrasher debuts as tag team partner for Brute Baynard
Sticking with TTT19 for just a tad longer, don’t think it escaped my notice that daddy-of-my-dreams and former HWOTM Matt Thrasher has made his BG East debut! I’ve fallen deep for daddy Matt since the first glimpse I got of him at MDW. I’m rigid with anticipation of what BGE might make of this salt and pepper muscleman.
Two boybanders in one match!? Ah, hell yes! You’d think Ring Releases 4 was a custom match I ordered, featuring my long time infatuation Drake Marcos and heel pup Kayden Keller. Drake keeps begging for another shot at taking me on in the ring, so I’m always keenly interested in watching the endless ways that his opponents break him apart piece by piece. I have high expectations that Kayden’s work here will be inspiring and devastating.
Denny Cartier can do no wrong!
I’m also a Denny Cartier fanatic. I’ve named him homoerotic wrestler of the month at least twice that I can remember off the top of my head. There’s something raw and real about Denny, with a look that makes me weak in the knees and mat wrestling skills that bring me at full attention every fucking time. I don’t know if Chace LaChance is too much muscle and ego to handle, but damn, I’m eager to see Denny give it a go.
JJ’s got the goods.
Also from Chace’s Spotlight, Jake Jenkins. Need I say more? I’ve been on team Jake from the start, and I’ve never failed to be fully satisfied and completely exhausted with every match I’ve seen of his. He has a dismal record in the BG East ring, making me worry about his prospects against Chace is this match, but his size and acrobatics combined with Chace’s muscle mass, leaves me anticipating a lot of gasping, awe and orgasms.
Eagle can land on me anytime!
I’ve been off the Thunder’s Arena rotation for a while now, but the tempting teaser of another look at drop-dead gorgeous Eagle stomping the living shit out of Z-Man is one of a couple of strong motivators for climbing back into the arena again. Eagle was one of the rare newbies to convince me to make him homoerotic wrestler of the month, and I’m wanting to see what the sophomore year has in store for the beefcake.
The other motivator is the prospect of sampling Thunder’s new babyface bodybuilder Steel up against fitter than ever (how is that even possible!?) Marco, yet another HWOTM. Guys built as magnificently as Steel have a dismal track record when it comes to homoerotic wrestling, in my book at least. I still hold out hope for a second coming of Steve Sterling, a juicy, impeccably crafted bodybuilder who really takes to the genre with enthusiasm and promise. Even if he’s just eye candy, he’s in phenomenal hands in this match.
Can’t wait to dig in, and of course I’ll let you know what I think (as if you could stop me). It’ll probably still be a little while of unpacking and settling in before I hit my stride here again, but I’m looking forward to comparing notes with you soon.
Much has already been written about BG East’s recent Demolition 10 match featuring Ty Alexander and Guido Genatto. I’m not sure that I have a lot more to add to the conversation, but it’s an important conversation to have, so let me add not more than about two cents worth. Also, Ty is one of what Joe has referred to as my personal homoerotic wrestling boyband, and I always want to promote my favorites.
Things take a turn to the darkside.
Alex Miller at The Cave wrote the definitive review of the initially released match, including raves for the sensationally sexy execution of a totally over the top domination match. Alex also had more pointed critical comments of Big Daddy Guido’s choice of mid-match taunts, which apparently veered persistently toward the homophobic end of the pool.
I always endorse taking a look at things from multiple angles.
I say “apparently” not only because there’s a running bit about the word in the match, but also because I’ve only seen the post-production edited version, after which BG East staff, including Kid Leopard himself, took a closer look at the text and agreed that the slurs took a decidedly politically unaffirming turn. Staying true to their pro-gay raison d’etre, the final release of this match has a few moments of carefully muted audio that a sharp ear can note. However, if I hadn’t read Alex’s review, I wouldn’t have known that specific reason for it.
Big Daddy punishes the Boy
So my comments are mostly about the post-edit, though I will say that I think Alex, other fans who reflected on the topic on his blog, and Kid Leopard all deserve a ton of respect for having what could be a difficult conversation about the wrestling that turns us on. I stopped watching some gay-targeted wrestling companies years ago for repeatedly charging headlong into a “smear the queer” type of storytelling. I also freely admit that I have quite a bit of ambivalence about companies like MDW that similarly dip their toes in those waters, but after a similarly ethics-forward conversation I had with Muscle Master Kevin at MDW, I’m pleased that they have begun more carefully targeted and labeling their products for the gay fans who get off on gay bashing (which I will never understand), and gay fans who get off on wrestling.
Smell it!
Guido’s dialogue even in the post-edit is angry, aggressive and intentionally provocative. “Have you even gone through fucking puberty yet?!,” he taunts Ty the moment he sees him. In one of a few long, deep, intimate face-to-crotch headscissors, Guido acknowledges what you and I (and Ty) are seeing in sharpest focus. “Take a good look at that,” Guido orders the babyfaced beauty with his nose jammed into the massive heel’s balls. “You like those red trunks, huh? My fucking hot sausage looks good in those trunks, huh?” The fact that Guido names the obvious homoeroticism of this fabulous hold stirs something deep down in me. “Smells like fucking testosterone!,” he barks, “like a real fucking man, not a little fucking twink!”
“Smells like fucking testosterone!”
My hunch is that the editor’s finger on the mute button had to get lively not long after this. Personally, some of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers are twinks. I think Ty may be the twinkiest babyface in competition these days. And the roaring narrative of a big, hairy bear crushing a lightweight twink and demanding to be called “Daddy” is golden. Twink isn’t a problem for me as a term, at all. But Guido certainly seems like he could be escalating the taunts rapidly at this point in the match.
“More fucking meat than you can handle.”
The sexual innuendo is thick in Guido’s endless, taunting monologue. “That’s right,” he growls as Ty struggles to pry his smooth, tenderized body off the mat. “Get on your hands and knees, bitch! That’s just where I fucking want you!” Guido alternately sounds like a gay hardcore porn star and a seductively empathic lover, switching back and forth in an awesome mindfuck for a dazed plaything like Ty. “How does that feel,” Guido suddenly asks, like he’s interested, as if he’s pounding for his own pleasure but suddenly wants to make sure he’s tickling Ty’s prostate just right. Then, back again to the hardcore porn side, Guido snarls, “I’m going to fucking stretch you out like a little hole!” Grabbing his own crotch and giving it a hearty tug, Guido muses, “More fucking meat than you can handle.” Then there’s a half second mute that you have to be sharp to catch.
Ty is a dish best served soaking wet.
I’m happy that BG East is on it and committed to lifting up gay men, and perhaps I should feel more ambivalent knowing some of the backstory of this match, but I’m don’t. Ty looks sweet enough to eat with a spoon. Sure, he’s in my boyband for a reason, but he’s lean and lush and if he sold his wailing, writhing, terrorized suffering an ounce less, Guido wouldn’t be half as terrifying as he is. Screaming with his face stomped underneath the heel’s big boot, whimpering helplessly in a tree of woe, and most of all, hung out to dry gorgeously in Guido’s torture rack, Ty is an incredibly tasty morsel.
Bearing down
And Guido is a bear daddy fantasy man. He works up a lather of sweat that makes his fantastically bulging muscles glisten hypnotically beneath his thick coat of fur. He’s a raging beast, filling the role of unstoppable dominator like the pro he is. When he straddles Ty’s chest with the Toy Boy hanging in that tree of woe, and then slides his hips backward to cock pin Ty’s smothered face, despite what my gaydar tells me, I’m momentarily convinced that the taunts and insults are just the particular brand of foreplay that works that aforementioned meat into action.
Bring on the Boyband!
The whole brutalizing catch weight bully match is a time honored genre of course, but I have to muse about more novel homoerotic wrestling narratives where my mind wanders. For whatever boundary crossing he engaged in pre-edit, could there be any finer retribution than to have Guido slated to face my entire boyband of babyface beauties who have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that hot, sweaty, naked wrestling action turns them on? That’s right, Guido in the middle of the ring, still all strut and swagger, but with an unmistakable note of apprehension with the four corners populated by Ty, Drake, Kayden, and Mason. I have no idea of Big Daddy Guido is secure enough in his sexuality to be quadruple teamed by the unapologetically gay-positive wrestlers who never fail to delight me without qualification. But that, I would like to see.
Filed under, “Well, I wasn’t quite expecting THAT!,” you can find BG East’s newest full throttle erotic release X-Fights 40. Even if you’re a casual reader of neverland, you can probably guess that 4 times out of 5, if I’m surprised, I’m happy. That is definitely the case when it comes to the twists, turns, and twistedness of adorable 2015 jobber of the year Ty Alexander getting his hands all over beefy, beautiful muscledaddy, making his debut, Beauxregard.
Beauxregard – 6′, 210 lbs
Since this is an X-Fight, I was fully prepared for naked wrestling with a heaping helping of erotic content. A little more surprising to me was the sensational presence and performance of bulging rookie Beauxregard. And still more surprising and delightful was watching babyface booty boy Ty Alexander opening up a can of unabashed whoop ass on his new muscledaddy plaything.
Ty shocks and awes was a cracking slap on Beaux’s beautiful butt!
Not that I’m shocked that Ty has it in him. I remarked the very first time I saw him in action on a particularly confident and accomplished ring sequence in which he knocks all 6’3″ of Kayden Keller on his ass with crotch-twitching authority early on. We saw him clench his jaw and go postal in spurts all over Drake Marcos. I thought he’d seriously lost his shit and was about to toss his claim at the title of jobber supreme when he let loose on Mad Mykel. But sooner or later, seemingly inevitably, Ty ends up flat on his back with someone’s big, pulsing cock hovering just overtop him. It’s not that Ty can, quite convincingly kick ass that surprises me, so much as it is that he can honest to the wrestling gods seriously put the punishment on someone as fucking huge and hard as beefy Beauxregard.
Big Beaux’s bulging pecs seem to inspire the Trophy Boy.
The erotic tension is dripping off of the both of them from the moment Ty climbs in the ring and can’t tear his eyes away from his opponent’s muscles. When the rookie muscledaddy engages him in typical pre-match banter (Can’t believe you had the balls to show up… that sort of thing), Ty cuts straight to the chase. “How could I not!?” he asks, licking lips and pinching the muscle hunk’s nipples.
“I mean, look at you!”
Personally, I love the unexpected irony of a middleweight babyface jobber taking the bull by the bulging horn and riding him like a rodeo cowboy. When Ty suddenly lands a cracking slap across the granite jawline of Beauxregard, there’s a little comic relief in the form of the look of shock that quickly washes across one of their face’s (and it’s not Beaux’s). Ty beats a hasty retreat out of the ring, with the muscledaddy rookie in hot pursuit. Ty dives back inside the ring, but as Beauxregard steps halfway through the ropes to follow, Ty attacks. He doesn’t just attack, he beats him down. He doesn’t just beat him down, he stomps him into an impotent pool of deliciously useless muscles.
Beaux’ hot muscles hit the deck hard.
So the drama that quickly develops is not the plot I’d expected. Ty is on him and riding that muscle ass with a sadistic glee. He’s relentless, stomping and punching, dropping knees and elbows in a furious hail of seasoned focus. He’s got muscledaddy down, and he keeps him there a good long time. When he strips the big man of his trunks and starts showing a whole lot of (understandably) lustful attention to that glorious, rock hard ass and sensationally thick legs, I’m thinking to myself, “Oh, shit! Ty is just about to score the biggest upset of the year and not just heel-turn, but tap the ass of this muscledaddy bruiser, Beaux!”
Trophy Boy about to tag a rock hard muscled ass!?
Alas, that’s not quite the way the drama unfolds. But these compelling wrestlers take me there, right up to that point of suspense, to that value added, heart racing moment of pondering the possibility of a jobber not just punching way above his weight, but silencing all the sneering, condescending, withering trash talk he’s endured for a couple of years running as nothing but a narcissist jobber with an over-inflated estimation of his own fashion sense. If Ty had tied big Beauxregard in the ropes, spanked those granite glutes raw and then fucked him into a weeping pool of utter humiliation and tears, if Ty had truly tagged this beast and made this growling, rumbling baritone into his fantastically intimidating, totally obedient Rottweiler, I’d have declared the Trophy Boy king of the world, homoerotic wrestler of the decade, and in full possession of my cock.
Both wrestlers are excited for what comes next.
The real story is a lot more complex. Beauxregard sells getting trampled like a seasoned pro, but he doesn’t stay down. The more explicitly Ty telegraph’s his eagerness to become the little jobber who could, the more Beaux gets the message loud and clear that his fabulous granite glutes will get owned should he lose, the more the muscledaddy rookie roars back into contention. For an X-Fight, this is deliciously competitive, and I’m loving the grit and gristle that Ty manages to pull out of the hot bodied rookie. He irritates and provokes the big man. He taunts him and distinctly puts in jeopardy the massive ego matching Beauxregard’s huge muscles. So when the muscledaddy newbie steps up his game to stay in this fight, there’s a rage and lust for domination that glistens seductively from Beaux’s bulging body.
Beauxregard gets his hands all over the trophy.
In the lexicon of pro wrestling, particularly erotic pro, there’s an oft told tale of the young, beautiful, untested boy throwing everything he’s got at a big baddy and getting the his ego smacked hard into it’s rightful place. So familiar is the tale that it really has to be told well to keep it fresh and compelling. Ty and Beaux compel me here, and the more furiously the big man bears down and zeroes in on Ty’s beautiful ass and fully aroused cock, the more compelling all of the hot erotic tension boils over into a full-monty X-fight.
Sexiest tree-of-woe of 2016!? Quite possibly…
In case you haven’t seen it and are curious, Beaux’s cock cannot be contained in the tiny pouch of his g-string. And for the record, that lunchbox could feed thousands. Watching his body react to the fading hopes of the randy punk at his feet is sensationally sexy. Beaux’s eyes soak in Ty’s destruction, and everything from the set of his shoulders and thrust of his hips to his pulsing, heavily bouncing erection, convey the heart and soul of an X-fight. Ty wants him. He wants Ty. He takes possession of his prey in the ring and requires the Trophy Boy to pound one out, and then drags the cutie from the ring to stick his newly won trophy on the mantle.
That ass belongs to Beaux.
An X-fight debut is a tall order, as far as I’m concerned, so it’s no small feat that Beauxregard wins not only Ty’s sweet ass, but my hearty approval as an instant fan. I hope we see much more of those fantastic muscles and hear much more of that ball grabbing, rumbling bass. And as for the Trophy Boy, one of these days, perhaps despite his reluctant pride in being top jobber, I think Ty may very well once and for all shock the fuck out of everyone and ride some lucky, hot opponent all the way to victory. If X-Fight 40 is any indication, I think the bigger, harder, and hotter his opponent, the more likely Ty is to finally turn that corner.
A few months ago, I sent an email to Bard asking if perhaps he would like to be interviewed for his website. To see if we could get a deeper glimpse into the man who has provided us with such great blogging material since 2009. A way for him to express himself in an entirely new way – where perhaps he is not totally in control. An innocuous request, which I thought might pique Bard’s interest. It did. – AH.
AH: You have been blogging since 2009, and you’re still going strong. Congratulations! What do you think has been the secret to your success and longevity?
Bard: Thanks, AH. My focus and productivity with Neverland has waxed and waned in the nearly 6 years I’ve been blogging. I think the biggest factor in my longevity is that this is a labor of love. Homoerotic wrestling is honestly something I enjoy immensely. I’m thinking about and talking about it a lot, so putting some of those thoughts into print for the blog doesn’t feel exactly like work. I also think that I’ve kept churning out posts by switching things up every so often. From my “what turned me gay” series to “name that ass” games and wrestler interviews, I’ve tried to keep things fresh and fun for me. Hopefully that comes across to readers, and hopefully it’s fun for them, as well.
AH: You keeping your blog fresh and fun definitely comes across to me, and I hope to all your other readers as well. I have especially enjoyed when you have had polls included in your posts. Do you have a favorite recurring post that you’ve enjoyed the most?
Bard: I’m glad it’s stayed fresh for readers. Particularly early on, I really didn’t know who my audience was, and even still, I’m not always sure how my stuff is received. So it’s nice to hear when it’s clicking for folks. One of the series that I think I enjoyed more than anyone else did was the “Guess that…” games. It started with “Guess that Ass,” but there were also some “Guess that Tat” and “Guess that Cock” episodes. I love puzzles, so putting those together was probably way more fun for me than for readers. I think my other favorite recurring series was the “What Turned Me Gay” sequence I did in the first couple of years of blogging. It was autobiographical and an honest examination of what I’ve found erotic over the years, with a heavy hit of social commentary and sarcasm. If I had to sum up my blog in one sentence,that would probably be the sentence.
AH: When you are watching a match that you plan on reviewing, what is the process that you go through?
Bard: Well, first of all, I grab the lube. But, that’s probably not what you meant. I sit down with my iPad in front of me and push play. I typically watch for purely descriptive stuff to start with. What are they wearing? What’s the setting? Then I spend some time listening closely. Regular readers know what a sucker I am for compelling dialogue in the ring, so I listen for the story that the wrestlers tell when they first encounter each other. Are they appreciating each other’s physiques? Are they trash talking? How do they make sense of this familiar moment when two ripped hunks climb into a ring and throw everything they’ve got at beating and dominating one another? What’s in it for them: ego strokes, erotic attraction, an honest lust for competition? I try to take notes on the the highlights of the action, particularly the parts that impress or surprise me. But, sooner or later, inevitably, I put the iPad down and pull out that lube. It’s an extremely rare homoerotic wrestling match that doesn’t make me need to get off if I spend enough time watching it.
AH: I think I need to be invited to a viewing party at Bard’s house! I’ll bring the lube! I tend to look over pictures and see if there are moves that grab my attention. Gear is definitely a big plus in my book, too. I go back and forth on the dialogue; sometimes I think it enhances a match, sometimes I think it hinders it. Is there one type of match that is your “default” for watching, or does it depend on the mood? Seems like you’re big into the muscle worshiping and eroticism of matches more than the moves/wrestlers themselves
Bard: Fascinating that your impression is that I’m less into the moves and wrestlers and more into eroticism! I wouldn’t necessarily have said that. For example, I’m like a dog with a bone when it comes to an OTK backbreaker, or to a hot wrestler getting trapped in the ropes. A flying dropkick, relatively rare in homoerotic wrestling circles, is a sensational turn on for me. My moods swing me toward ring matches more often that mat matches, so the ring would probably be a “default” setting for me. My moods also tilt me toward matches with some back and forth momentum and at least a pretense of competitiveness about it. So, while I occasionally get a hankering for a sweet, crushing, humiliating squash, a competitive match would be my default setting for what I’m typically looking for. All that said, I get bored pretty fast on a complete diet of relatively straightforward, G-rated wrestling with no explicit and very little implicit erotic content. I can tune into mainstream pro for that. So even if it doesn’t have nudity or making out or fuck stakes involved, I’m very partial to wrestling that gives at least a nod to the homoerotic sensibilities of our audience.
AH: Perhaps my impression was on purpose, Bard….to get a rise out of you! You’ll never know! My go-to move for any match is any variation on the sleeper. Pass the lube if that occurs. You mentioned mainstream pro wrestling; to the best of my knowledge, you’ve never mentioned any pro wrestlers/pro wrestling on your blog. Is that again because of your audience, or is it because like you say in the about me portion of your blog, “devoted to contemplating in excruciating detail the world of homoerotic wrestling”?
Billy Jack Haynes was one of my earliest pro wrestling infatuations.
Bard: You provocateur! I heartily approve. Early on in my blogging I talked about my complicated relationship with mainstream pro wrestling. I’ve posted about my major, youthful crush on muscle hunk Billy Jack Haynes in my “What Turned Me Gay” series. And I think I have some early posts about the classic vintage Brit pro Keith Hawarth. And, hell, the banner for Neverland is the fantasyman himself, Tommy Zenk. But I grew disenchanted with watching contemporary mainstream pro over a decade ago when it kept striking me as blatantly homophobic. Throughout most of my blogging, I’ve enjoyed reading other bloggers who keep their eyes on straight up pro, like Beefcake’s of Wrestling, Ringside at Skull Island and Inner Jobber. But I find wrestling explicitly for gay eyes to be just as entertaining, more titillating, and much less of a moral dilemma to enjoy, so I spend most of my viewing and blogging time on the more gay-forward homoerotic wrestling companies.
AH: I’m sorry. Obviously I didn’t do my research. Since you mentioned other bloggers there have many multiple blogs and bloggers on the subject of homoerotic and underground wrestling pop up in the ensuing years since 2009. How do you feel about that?
Bard: Hell, I forget half of what I’ve written, so I certainly don’t expect anyone else to have my entire 6 years of blogging memorized. I think it’s fabulous that there are a number of homoerotic wrestling blogs. The old Rants, Roids & Wrestling blog was just shutting down as I was starting up. I loved the artwork and storytelling there. Joe started Ringside at Skull Island about 6 months before my blog, and I’ve always enjoyed Joe’s take on the scene. And of course Wrestling Arsenal is a classic that’s been around forever and has a fantastic, unique voice and angle all his own. There have been times when I’ve been just about to post something when I discover someone else (usually Joe) has already reviewed it, said it, asked it. But honestly, I think it’s fantastic that there are several voices out there, a lot of different perspectives and tastes reflecting much more of the diversity of homoerotic wrestling than any one of us could by ourselves.
AH: What do you think of wrestlers having more of a Social Media presence than ever before?
Bard: I think it’s the future of entertainment of any kind, including the homoerotic wrestling business. Pro wrestling is as much driven by personality as it is by athleticism or hot bodies. We have more access to interact with and know about the people in our lives, and social media has given us the opportunity to build the illusion that public personalities are “people in our lives.” So, anonymous guys with hot bodies showing up in a ring, wrestling with more or less skill, and then disappearing from view is much less compelling these days than wrestlers turning us on in action and then populating our Twitter and Facebook feeds with photos and attitude and the illusion that their professional character is part of our social network. Wrestlers like Ty Alexander, Kayden Keller, Ethan Andrews and Cameron Matthews have done great work at the sell in and out of the ring. I know fans enjoy seeing them in social media, and I strongly suspect that those who exploit that fan experience beyond the confines of a particular wrestling product will only literally sell more products. And have you seen the number of photos that Ty posts of his ass!? Fuck, that guy is working it with a vengeance!
AH: True. There have been plenty of wrestlers, through all of the homoerotic sites that have been “one and done” – they have the great bodies, but if the personality is not there or they don’t sell for the camera and draw the audience in, they are not featured again. It does give us a kind of “behind the scenes” look at some wrestlers. However, don’t you also think that there could also be some fatigue with specific wrestlers who appear over and over again combined with their increasing online presence?
Bard: My thinking has evolved on that question over my time blogging. Early on, I was pretty harsh on wrestlers who seemed to show up everywhere at the same time. I took some swipes at Cameron Matthews and Rio Garza a few years ago when both of them were showing up in simultaneous new releases across two, sometimes three different companies, sometimes even wrestling the same opponents across promotions. I still think that repackaging the same match-ups across promotions is bad for consumers, and my hunch is that there’s probably some corporate intrigue about the choice of a producer to tape and release copycat matches at the same time. Like, what’s the wisdom of releasing at the same time Rio and Jobe wrestling each other in the ring in two different matches? But I think instant downloads and social media are sensitizing us to a faster pace of information and exposure to wrestlers. And, frankly, I’ve simply found myself charmed and titillated by popular wrestlers like Cameron, Jonny, Drake and Ethan inhabiting multiple platforms, giving us long-form text, photos, and videos alongside of snapshot status updates to construct 3-dimensional characters in and out of the ring. Getting more access to these sensational wrestling characters has actually increased my anticipation and excitement for their new releases. There may be fan-fatigue for some wrestling consumers, but these days I see multi-platform promotion for wrestlers to be compelling. Now if we could just get Drake to update his fucking blog [laughing].
AH: Haha, there you go bashing Drake again. Can’t you leave the poor guy alone? Are you trying to get fans to sympathize with poor Drake? I didn’t want to name names earlier (cough Austin/Frey cough) about showing up across different companies and multiple matches a month, but hey, he must be doing something right in the eyes of the people producing and shelling out the products. And he is not the only one. It does seem to make it harder for a rookie to get noticed and make a lasting impression, although I have to say that 2015 was a particularly strong year for them (at least for me.) with Chet, Biff, Van Skyler, etc.
Bard: I do like the increased social media presence of some of the wrestlers you mentioned, although like new releases, they are updated rather infrequently. I think that actually works in their favor, as it keeps the audience salivating until there is a new post, a new video, new pictures.
AH: Since we’re talking about wrestlers populating social media, what are your thoughts on all the bloggers talking about homoerotic wrestling
Bard: Oh, can’t forget Austin Cooper! His heel work at BG East in particular is crazy good. But regarding other bloggers, I have tons of respect and take a lot of enjoyment in all of them. There was a period where I was diligently reading everybody and intentionally cross promoting other blogs, but I just ran out of time to stay on top of that. I still visit Beefcakes of Wrestling several times a week to check the mainstream pros I ought to be looking up on Youtube. I check in on Ringside frequently, now that Joe’s back at it again, particularly for a glimpse at some of the promotions that I don’t really follow. Alex is always sensational, and his work at The Cave is a great mix of sensational writing and inspiring reviews. I think each of the bloggers with an eye on homoerotic wrestling have unique perspectives, different things that draw their attention or spark their interest. And that’s what I like about blogging as a format. It lets us step inside someone else’s head for a moment and recognize the arousing and provocative things that we may not see on our own.
AH: Seems like each blog has a corner of the homoerotic wrestling scene all to themselves. I love it when multiple bloggers discuss and dissect the same match as it leads to differing views and makes me want to watch the match again trying to hopefully see it through a new lens. Before finding all of these blogs, I never thought that all of these posts would be so arousing!! I just thought the videos and pictures would turn me on. Glad to be proven wrong. So you have your avatar on your blog that shows off that chest and gives a glimpse of your abs. You’ve let your audience into your mind – but you have left the rest of your body and self, vague. Is that intentional on your part?
Man of Mystery
Bard: When I started blogging, I didn’t have a clear picture of exactly what I wanted the blog to be. But I did feel committed to make it relatively confessional as a gay man strongly turned on by wrestling. With an interest in a frank discussion of eroticism, I decided that I’d feel freer to be blunt and honest about my sexual turn-ons if I were relatively anonymous otherwise. One of the greatest things about blogging has been hearing from guys who say, “I’ve had the same experiences, but thought I must be the only one!” But I don’t know if I’d ever have had the balls to dig down to those moments of homoerotic confessional truth, to talk about some of those things that many of us experience but may seldom discuss with friends and family that don’t get it, if I thought that my mom or my boss might stumble across my words. These days, I think of that avatar I use like a wrestling mask in the pro ring. There’s something that it hides, but there’s something that it frees to be seen, to be more open and passionately me as well. And, quite honestly, over time I’ve discovered that there are some relatively unhinged people in the webosphere who take all of this way, way too seriously, who I really wouldn’t want to know me in any more detail than what I share on the blog.
AH: Very well said. I was quite late to the game in finding homoerotic wrestling sites and blogs dedicated to it. But once I did, I had that “Aha” moment, where I was like I am not the only one who likes this stuff! And we thank you for digging down deep, through your anonymity, to bring us your fresh take on these subjects that so strongly turn you on. I hope this interview does not provoke any unhinged people out there to search either of us out.
Bard: Some guys are extremely… passionate… about their opinions about homoerotic wrestling. It’s a fine line between passionate/playful and unhinged, but there is a line, I think.
AH:Rock Hard dabbled in luche style masks I believe once in their history (although it was obvious who the combatants were) and BG East has had masked wrestlers as well. Do you ever watch lucha wrestling videos on youtbube or know that history, or were you just using the wrestling mask as a metaphor to prove your point?
Bard: I am familiar with lucha wrestling and some of the standard parts of the lucha mystique as it relates to masks and unmasking. Mostly, I was speaking metaphorically, though.
AH: So, 2016 is a momentous year. We have a Presidential election as well as the Olympics. Who would you put on the Mount Rushmore of homoerotic wrestling?
Bard: Yowza, that’s a challenging question. Coincidentally I traveled to Mr. Rushmore just last summer. I found it oddly underwhelming. But if I were to select 4 faces to get carved into stone as pivotal people in homoerotic history, I’d definitely start with Kid Leopard. I think BG East has been uniquely shaped by his vision and commitment to homoerotic wrestling, and I think BG East has, in turn, uniquely shaped the entire industry. Honestly, I think if anyone else’s face was carved next to him, Kid Leopard’s visage would pummel him. Who else is as iconic? Maybe Ron Sexton of Can-Am. I have no idea what he looks like, though, so I’m not sure if anyone would recognize him. But I think of him as, perhaps more than anyone else, bringing together the two worlds of wrestling and porn in ways that completely laid the groundwork for the likes of Naked Kombat. If pressed, I think perhaps a third face to carve into the Mr. Rushmore of homoerotic wrestling might be Steve Sterling. Bodybuilders in homoerotic wrestling are a mainstay these days, but I think of Steve as one of the first, if not the first, legitimate, incredibly muscled, competition bodybuilders to bring serious, aesthetic, massive physiques into the homoerotic wrestling fan’s immediate gaze. As for a fourth “founding father,” I’m sort of stumped. I think I’ll put Scott Williams’ face in that final spot. Not because he fundamentally shaped the industry at all. Just because I think he’s fucking handsome as hell, and I’d pay the price of admission to get to see that sensational jawline literally carved in stone.
My nominees for the Mt. Rushore of Homoerotic Wrestling: Kid Leopard (L), Ron Sexton (not pictured), Steve Sterling (C) and Scott Williams (R)
AH: Shit, I am getting into my car and driving directly to your Mt Rushmore of homoerotic wrestling! Where do you think this art form goes from here? There has definitely been an evolution, one you know better than me, about homoerotic wrestling. Now, you don’t need to wait a period of time for that “package” to arrive in the mail – you can instantly stream/download a match from just about any wrestler, any promotion, at any moment (and get a shock when you get your credit card statement too). Mr. Firestorm has dabbled in newer matches (with the google-glasses bird’s eye view, and his choose your own adventure style match against your personal friend Drake); do you think that is the way to go – where it seems the audience has more of a say in what goes on in matches, or should we leave it to the people behind the scenes who have crafted gold into our memories for so long
Bard: I think there’s value added in both consumer directed products as well as the fare that established wrestling producers know how to put together so well. The custom and fan-choice matches scratch that great, postmodern itch of breaking down some of the barriers between viewers and the action, which I think is sensational. It’s also why I love behind the scenes glimpses and the online presence of some homoerotic wrestling personalities these days. It pokes holes in that wall that divides the passive viewing fan from the extremely active, intense, visceral nature of wrestling. However, 9 times out of 10, I’d let Kid Leopard pick a sexy hot pairing for a sweaty, high flying, low down ring match drama and be confident I’d be 100% entertained. I love the unexpected. I love to be surprised and shocked by how a match turns or by the depths to which wrestlers will go to dominate. So I certainly wouldn’t want everything to be a Chinese menu of homoerotic wrestling choices. Some producers have a fantastic eye and taste for this that takes me places I’d never know that I need to go.
AH: Once again Bard, fantastic analysis; That’s the great thing about this subject and others like it – it’s so open for discussion and debate. Do you have any last rumblings and grumblings you’d like to share that perhaps you haven’t yet voiced in your blog yet?
Bard: I think the only other thing I’d pontificate about today is one that many readers have heard before from me and from others. I regularly get comments to my blog with pointed, often personal, frequently crass criticisms of wrestlers. Most often the ones that really trigger me are the personal attacks on wrestlers’ bodies, like someone is too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too whatever and so somehow deserves disrespect. On the one hand, I’m at the front of the line when it comes to loving and leaning into the fantasy of professional wrestling. When wrestlers belittle each other and heap trash talking contempt upon one another’s physiques and appearance, I can understand why fans would turn to social media and comment logs to participate in the same sort of posturing. However, as many can probably attest to, I do my best to censor those types of comments out of the comment pages on my blog. I know this pisses some readers off. But I just have to say, again here today, that this practice of trashing wrestlers with personal attacks feels a lot like me inviting a whole bunch of friends over, and having one of the guests in my own home trashing and attacking another of my guests. I know you’ve got your opinions, and I know many of you aren’t shy about expressing the highly critical ones. But no. Not in my house. Not aimed at my friends.
Because that’s what’s happened as I’ve been blogging over the years. I’ve had the great privilege of meeting many of the wrestlers who I’m completely infatuated with. And it’s a mind fuck to actually sit down and talk with a stud puppy who, perhaps just the day before, I was pounding out a screaming climax to while watching him wrestle on my screen. And while I have zero problem getting off again and again to the wrestling work of these hunks I’ve got to meet in person, I just can’t behave as if these wrestlers are somehow not real people who deserve common human decency and respect. A few of them I’m particularly privileged to count among my friends, and I take that seriously. So not liking a match they’re in, or offering the critique about something they wear, or what you wish they’d done to a particular opponent is fantastic by me. But body shaming them, or calling them losers, or questioning their intelligence, or assessing them as worthless is crossing a line.
So, like I said, readers have heard this from me before, but in closing, I’d just say it again. Keep it classy. This little corner of the world inhabited by gay guys with a particular thing for getting off on wrestling is probably bigger than most of us might have originally thought it was, but we shouldn’t take for granted the balls it takes for wrestlers to strip down, gear up, and put their bodies on the line for this community of ours. I know for a fact that there are homoerotic wrestlers who have been shamed and punished when they’ve had friends, family or coworkers discover they’ve wrestled for a gay audience. That’s shitty. But the last thing they should also face is that very audience shaming or harassing them out of petty cattiness.
Anyway, I officially step back off my soap box and thank you, AH, for turning the tables on me and interviewing me for a change. It was a fascinating experience to be on the other side of the questions!
AH: No, thank you very much, Bard. The honor was all mine, and thank you for agreeing to do this!
With 28% of the vote, Ty Alexander wins the plurality as the reader’s choice homoerotic wrestler of the year. Ty worked for it. Ty always works for it. Both in the ring and in the world of social media, the Trophy Boy is a perfect study in having a plan and executing it to perfection. Fans love his bubble butt, ever tightening, taut twink bod, and his reckless enthusiasm for running face first into one steam roller after another. Ty has such a following because homoerotic wrestling fans love a full throttle, unapologetically erotic wrestling jobber. I suspect that July’s homoerotic wrestler of the month also owns this poll in part due to his ability to mobilize his social media following, which I think is indicative of the next level of the homoerotic wrestling business. Fans respond not only to Ty’s sensational sell in the ring, to his succulent body, to his endless ambition, but also to his commitment to exist, on a day to day basis, in our Twitter and FB feeds, to weave the fantasy of a hot, horny, humpable young stud into the fabric of our day to day lives. As I said back when I anointed him HWOTM in July, I think there’s a whole market waiting to get tapped by serious franchise players like Ty loving it, living it, and making us continue to peek behind the scenes of a wrestling shoot to fantasize in all sorts of new ways about the sexy studs living their wrestling dreams.
Making a major play in the polls for second place with over 21% of the vote was 2015 rookie Sensation (with a capital S!), big, bulging, beautiful, buff, blond, blue-eyed, bombshell beefcake Biff Farrell.
Biff Farrell
I have to think Biff has got to make a very strong showing for this year’s rookie of the year in BG East’s Besties. He certainly grabbed my attention, and I know captured the homoerotic wrestling imaginations of a whole lot of us with incredibly impressive appearances in an amazing 4 new releases in his rookie year. It’s a rare newbie who makes such a splash at BG East to earn his way into 4 releases, 3 of which are stand alone single matches, 1 of which he’s even the title character for! Fans love his look, his magnificent muscles, his obvious enthusiasm for professional wrestling, and his sensational, muscled ass (I know, that’s part of his magnificent muscles, but it deserves it’s own mention). I’ve also been on the big Biff bandwagon for the duration because I’m growing more and more infatuated with the character he’s selling better and better with each match. Fans love a big, muscled babyface rookie who can, from the start, take it every ounce as successfully as he dishes it out. I believe the sky’s the limit with my December homoerotic wrestler of the month, and I’m just saying a prayer to the homoerotic wrestling gods that he hasn’t peaked too soon, because I hope to see a lot more of him in 2016.
Coming in third in the voting with 13%, sophomore heel rising Kayden Keller grabbed hold of hearts and loyalties (not to mention balls) with a vengeance in 2015.
Kayden Keller
Kayden only appeared in 2 releases for BG East this year (though it seems like more, doesn’t it? honestly?). But that was enough to keep his fans gagging for more. If his showing in the polls demonstrates anything, I think it shows us that homoerotic wrestling fans always, always have a place in their fondest fantasies for a sensational, sadistic, explicitly erotic wrestling heel. He abundantly earned his HWOTM title for October by selling one of the best surprises in homoerotic wrestling for 2015, getting sleepered out cold by the shockingly eager erotic debut of little, lithe, lovely Leo Tomasi. I know there are some fans who saw that as a major blow to Kayden’s obvious play to climb the ranks of BG East’s resident, reigning heels, but I found the unexpected drama to be probably the most compelling wrestling narrative of the year. And in case you haven’t seen the match, suffice it to say that despite Leo’s shocking moment in the sun (with Kayden’s face shoved where the sun don’t shine), the 6’2″ powerhouse heel doubles down on the total soul and body crushing domination before all is said and done. It takes a whole lot of man to heel, match after match, and even more of one to get completely owned and humiliated by a jobber and STILL come out with his heel cred shiny. Kayden Keller is every ounce that man.
Hopefully we’ll have an opportunity to vote on the BG East year end Bestie awards soon. In the mean time, I made my own selections of the wrestlers that grabbed me hardest month by month (I skipped a couple months because life just keeps me from it every so often). My homoerotic wrestler of the month title is a difficult call to make most months. I’m turned on by so much of the fine new releases that I enjoy on a regular basis. But of the matches I’ve seen, the HWOTM title gives me a short list of the wrestlers I enjoyed most over the year.
Not that these are necessarily my top picks of the year. There’s probably some way to do a statistical analysis on the between group versus within group variances (Jose can probably tell us). Some months may present a tighter, higher caliber field than others to choose from, so a “loser” on any given month might have beat the fuck out of a winner in a different month. But I think my top wrestler in a new release in 2015 is guaranteed to be among the 10 HWOTM I called out this year, even if the runner-up might not be.
Anyhow, statistics and logic problems aside, before I can talk about the 10 HWOTM title holders in 2015, I need to anoint a December title holder. It’s a day early, but I’m going ahead and calling the competition for which wrestler turned me on hardest in a December new release. The last piece of the puzzle and the reigning HWOTM as we move into the new year is…
Frankly, it was a very close call as to whether it was Biff or his opponent, the titular character in The Comeback 2: Joe Mazetti, who turned me on hardest. Joe gets the nostalgia vote, and he sensationally sells the story of a classic heel who can’t, despite his best intentions, turn over the new leaf he so much longs to. Just the thrill of getting to see Joe looking so fucking huge, fit, and fierce is incredibly satisfying, much less getting to see Joe wrestle like he never left the ring in the first place.
Biff savors the taste of making a man suffer between his thighs.
But Biff narrowly rips the title out of Joe’s hands the moment he drops the heel daddy with a sucker shot to the gut and lords it all over a writhing, wriggling Joe, laughing and sneering with Joe’s nogging crushed like a tin can between Biff’s gargantuan thighs. This is a whole new Biff. This is a hungry, brutal, vicious Biff, with a big, bulging sadistic button sticking out and snarling Joe punching that button with abandon.
Biff roars to life in The Comeback 2
Biff is such an impressive hunk of man. It’s a joy, and just a little relief, to see his personality come through as 3-D as his bulging, beautiful muscles do. True, the Comeback king puts the buff kid out cold before all is said and done, but it’s that contemptuous, sadistic streak shining through in Biff’s riding time that makes me take a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th look at him as officially graduating from the ranks of the rookies. He plays with and plays off Joe’s larger than life delivery. Gorgeous as fuck, built like a brick house, and now with character complexity and suspense, Biff came on way, way strong to finish 2015.
Biff Farrell is the total package and my homoerotic wrestler of the month.
So somewhere in the pack of my 2015 HWOTM winners, there must be a homoerotic wrestler of the year (HWOTY). I know these are my picks, and it’s all about who turned me on month to month, but seriously, I want to know. Who do you think should be neverland’s HWOTY? Just to warm up for the BG East Besties, vote below for the neverland homoerotic wrestler of the year.
February 2015 – Jonny Firestorm in BG East’s Fan Fantasy 2March 2015 – Stefan Ramos in Muscle Domination Wrestling’s Six Pack Bash 7April 2015 – Lon Dumont starring in BG East’s Wrestler Spotlight: Lon DumontMay 2015 – Marco starring in Thunder’s Arena’s Mat Wars 47June 2015 – Marco Carlow starring in BG East’s Undagear 23July 2015 – Ty Alexander starring in Jonny Firestorm’s Custom CombatAugust 2015 – Logan Vaughn starring in BG East’s Florida Fights 5October 2015 – Kayden Keller starring in BG East’s Ring Releases 2November 2015 – Eagle starring Thunder’s Arena’s exclusive Black Friday release of Frey vs. EagleDecember 2015 – Biff Farrell starring in BG East’s The Comeback 2: Joe Mazetti.
Sidelineland 