Author: wrestlebard

I'm a gay man with an active imagination.

Name That Cock: The Weiner Edition

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Perhaps I should call this week’s quiz Name That Cock: Current Events. In our body-phobic, sex-phobic culture, personally I think that we need to see more, not less, cock. In and of themselves, big beautiful cocks should not be scandalous, disgraceful, or disqualifying of anything. So take a long, hard gander at these close-up views of cock, and see if you can identify which “current events” homoerotic wrestler is the owner of each beautiful tool. Let’s officially resist the hegemonic assumption that the sight of cock requires public flagellation and Puritanical blood-letting! The rules are the same as always: name the homoerotic wrestlers to whom these cocks belong. If you name all the cocks below in addition to the opponents faced in the photographed wrestling matches, I’ll write you a custom piece of wrestling fiction and you can name the topic for next week’s quiz.

Cock(s) #1:
Either cock here can qualify for a correct answer, but both will get you the full points you need to progress toward claiming a prize. These two gorgeous, uncut cocks are quite the prize, in and of themselves. I’ve speculated that the  sexy-as-hell homoerotic wrestler on the right is one of us. The homoerotic wrestler on the left has a just-released G-rated match for another company that’s also a current event.
Cock #2:
This cock is hot off the presses news. We’ve seen him elsewhere in PG-rated homoerotic wrestling fare, so imagine my surprise to discover that he not only is ready to whip out his cock to awe his opponents into submission, but that he has such an aesthetically stunning piece of meat. I’ve mentioned before that I think it’s difficult for really big muscle boys to have proportionally impressive tools, but this breaking-news badboy clearly has no problem at all keeping everything in perspective.
Cock #3:
I feel like we all need to stand up and salute this fantastic phallus. This recent headliner has a body built for destruction to go along with this cock constructed for conquest. With this secret weapon unsheathed, the twink rookie who faced him, eye-to-cock, in this match was always going to go down.
Cock #4:

Here’s another hot-off-the-presses cock that I’m terribly excited to see more of. The hard, muscled, tatted body that’s connected to this pierced quarter pounder is my kind of homoerotic wrestler in so many ways! The word is that this is a grudge match, and that scores are settled. Considering I also have quite the crush on the lips in this pic, I can tell that this will be a match that I must own.

 Cock #5: 
Admittedly, this is a little blurry, but I love this snapshot of bodies stretched and bent and wrapped up together like a soft pretzel with mustard on top. I’ll admit it: I get a particularly perverse pleasure when I watch the homoerotic wrestler whose cock is pictured here get pummeled and plowed. This late-breaking match doesn’t disappoint on that count. The really priceless pic (I’ll show tomorrow) is the look of worried awe on this wrestler’s face as he stares down the mammoth, hard-to-believe-if-you-haven’t-seen-it cock on the opponent who’s twisted him up in this pic above.
Good luck, gentlemen. I hope you have fun with it, because if we can’t have fun with beautiful bodies and awesome cocks, then we deserve the oppressive, far-right, self-righteous straight regimes to which most of us are living under in one form or another these days.

Stream-of-Consciousness

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Hot damn! BG East’s sudden Summer Sizzlers release yesterday has me powerfully provoked and bitterly impatient for the mailman. And speaking of my entirely socially constructed modern inability to delay gratification, I’m extremely pleased with the new BG East Arena update schedule. I must say, of my subscriptions, this propels the Arena into by far the best value. And just to be clear, I don’t get paid to say that. Just calling it like I see it.
And speaking of calling it like I see it (I suspect this will be one long stream of consciousness post today), I keep returning to the recent pics of “Mr. Brazil 2011” Lucas Malvacini that I’ve been seeing. Whatever is in the water in Brazil, I want it bottled and forced down the throats of the men in my neighborhood. Smoking hot male model after smoking hot male model from Brazil keeps showing up and making the case that the southern hemisphere is inherently sexy. But more than just another eye-wateringly hot naked body, Mr. Brazil made me do a double-take. Where have I seen that boyishly sincere smile before? Who does this side of beef remind me of with his “oh, you’re looking at lil’ ol’ me?” shy tilt of the head, making those infinitely squeezable pecs and sweetly bulging biceps that much more enticing?
Jaha! (as my Swedish friends would say). It’s yet another Denny Cartier free-association that my brain is making. While perhaps not Denny’s doppleganger, there’s a gestalt about him that makes me picture Lucas as Denny’s younger, taller brother… and tag team partner.

Don’t you see it? Well, perhaps it’s partly rooted in my well-documented obsession with Denny. It’s certainly true this wouldn’t be the first time that I’ve spotted some handsome hunk that I’m intuitively convinced comes from Denny’s corner of the gene pool. I’m not sure if this Rorschach test is tapping into my subconscious infatuation with seeing more Denny wrestling, or whether it’s my lust to get back to writing a new Secretarial Pool homoerotic wrestling match starring more hot male models.

And speaking of hot male models and my homoerotic wrestling imagination, did you see that Wendell Lissimore is in a fantastic visual menage a trois for Out Magazine? I’m pretty sure that he’s straight, so this scene of him as the lean meat in a white bread man-sandwich is just awesome fuel for my homoerotic wrestling fantasies in which Wendell has already made a few appearances.

In my imagination, every hard-bodied hunk with a six pack and rock hard pecs is a cock chaser. I think I’ve written no more than one woman into a storyline in my homoerotic wrestling fantasy universe (name that tune for a prize), and I don’t think that I’ve ever bothered with a truly straight male character, at least not one that couldn’t enjoy getting off to some man-on-man muscle domination from time to time. It’s not as if the cutthroat capitalism-gone-mad world of my homoerotic wrestling imagination is one in which I’d want to live full time. But I do enjoy being “special guest star” in my own serial fantasy where every question and conflict is settled with no-holds barred erotic wrestling, where brutal sexual domination is the bread-and-butter of corporate intrigue and international politics, and where homoerotic romance dots the landscape in an otherwise unforgiving egomaniacally-based economy where everything is commodified.
And speaking of me as special guest star in my own fantasy, did you catch the shot of shirtless Jason Bateman on EW (thank you, Towleroad)? Jason has long been my pick to play me in the made-for-television version of my life. I settled on him well before I ever saw a shirtless shot of him, so imagine my delight to discover that he’s quite a hot little number, in addition to being an excellent actor with a fun sense of humor.
I’m not sure where all this stream-of-consciousness was leading, but for those who traveled this intimate path through my synapses, welcome to my world! Happy weekend!

Heroes and Men

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I don’t own a pair of superman underwear, but I think I want to. I’ve seen these briefs on many gorgeous bodies on the internet, and they always inspire two simultaneous, somewhat paradoxical responses in me: laughter and arousal.

The arousal of seeing just about any exposed flesh on Seth Kuhlmann likely requires no further explanation. “Hot body” and “nothing but underwear” is sufficient to catch my eye and hold my attention. But Superman’s “S” printed across the crotch of a gorgeous hunk’s underoos is somehow even sexier, and not in small part because of the sense of humor it implies.

Of course, there are likely some muscle studs who’d don superman underwear without a sense of irony or humor. While these fine gentleman are likely delightful to watch in still frame, a man without a sense of humor (or anyone who takes himself too seriously), drops in sex appeal by a factor of 10 in my reckoning. Superman underwear as a means of promoting literal and sincere comparisons to the literary man-of-steel miss the full potential of this gear, as far as I’m concerned.

Superman underwear is silly. Sexy, yes, but also silly. Wearing them suggests that those who sport them can embrace silliness. They can stick their tongue in their cheek. They understand the provocative allure of a little self-deprecation that only heightens by contrast the hardcore sexiness of a witty, smart hunk who loves his body.
While I don’t own a pair of superman underwear, I aspire to be the type of man who could pull them off. I aspire to love my body (daily work, but mostly there), and to wield both wit and smarts enough to recognize how sexy a little self-deprecation and a lot of humor can go.

Asses Named

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No perfect marks for this week’s Name That Ass quiz, but that just means you’ve got more delightful studying to do. Let’s start with a closer look at these beautiful butts:
Ass #1 belongs to…
BG East rookie muscleboy, Marco Carlow.
 Marco’s debut in Motel Madness 11 against BG East first-timer (but hardly a rookie) Dev Michaels is such a feast for those looking for muscleboy wrestling in private. Marco is gorgeous from head to toe, and that round, hard ass is stunning. Love it. Lusting after him. Waiting for more Marco!
Ass #2 belongs to…
Naked Kombat’s rookie pornboy, Gavin Waters.
 I’ve already talked quite a bit a about Gavin’s tag team bout alongside fellow overconfident bully, Nikko Alexander. It’s an ensemble work of art, and my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy, Trent Diesel, rocks me hard. But sweet man alive! Gavin Waters is a beast! Love his attitude. Love his body. Love that ass.
 Ass #3 belongs to…
Can-Am’s Lincoln Lode.
 Lincoln’s been out of the scene for a while, as far as I can tell, but his brief tenure in homoerotic wrestling made a big impression on me. His face isn’t quite as classically handsome as, say, Marco Carlow, but the frat boy smirk on that sliced and diced gymbunny physique never disappointed. He almost always paired up with red-head Andrew Lane, which made me write a lover-backstory for the two in my own mind. Here Lincoln and workout buddy Billy Watt play wishbone with Andrew’s legs in Hotel Hell: Toronto.  This match illutrates my point: Lincoln’s ass was almost as perfect as glutes get.
Ass #4 belongs to…
…BG East’s new wrestler (but again, not a rookie), Torvik Tirva.
 I’m a sucker for an accent…. and a nice ass… and tattoos… but even still, there was something that caught me by surprise by how turned on Torvik’s motel match with Brad Flash made me. When Torvik gloats and taunts, it’s absolutely fantastic entertainment. When he wrenches on Brad’s knee until the scrapper can’t stand up, Brad extends a hand of gentlemanly congratulations on a job well done. Again, I say, when Torvik slaps the extended hand away with lip-curling contempt and congratulates himself with a sweet flex in the mirror before walking off laughing at his injured opponent, I’m sold.
 Ass #5 belongs to…
 …Can-Am’s handsome babyface hero, Maverick.
 Homoerotic wrestling is littered with beautiful bodies who lingered far too briefly, and Maverick is a prime example. He had a face of a big screen movie star, the body of a Greek sculpture, and the chin-up, knight-in-white hero vibe that had me reverting to pre-adolescence and lustfully rooting for the good guy. And that ass! His opponent in Young Musclestuds Wrestling 4, Trey, seems to be as awed by that work of art as I am.

In honor of “big” news in U.S. politics this week, there’s no way in the world that next week’s quiz could be anything other than a new edition of Name That Cock. So study up on your homoerotic wrestling cocks now!

Name That Ass

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Jobberinnyc kicked ass in last week’s quiz… well, perhaps it’s closer to say that he slapped some cocks. This week we’re back to asses, though. Below are a few of my favorite things, and in particular, the gorgeous asses of homoerotic wrestlers. These 5 wrestlers grabbed my attention in large part on the strength of their beautiful glutes. There are some new infatuations and some long standing favorites, as well. Name the 5 homoerotic wrestlers below, and you get a gold star and an extra heaping helping of praise. Name all 5 wrestlers as well as all seven (yes, that’s a hint) opponents they faced in the photos below, and you will be certified as a homoerotic wrestling aficionado and be offered the opportunity to choose the topic for next week’s Name That quiz. Good luck, and let me know how you do.
Ass #1:
Stunningly handsome muscle hunk alert! 5’6″, 170 pounds, he takes on a much bigger muscle brute in this bout and astonishingly matches him pound for pound in brute strength. Every inch of his body is captivating, but that sweet, round ass on top of those thick thighs and at the base of that tiny waist leaves me wanting much, much more.

Ass #2:
This gorgeous surfer boy butt made this homoerotic wrestler an instant favorite of mine. 6’0″, 200 pounds, with an all-over, Southern California tan, he simply cannot wait to lose the trunks in his most recent match, from which this pic comes.
Ass #3:
I’ve been challenged for handing out the mantle of “classic” too generously, but screw it. It’s my blog, and so when I say this gorgeous muscle ass is classic, clearly it’s just my opinion. And my opinion is that this homoerotic wrestler was one of the very top tier most beautiful muscle boys in the business. I can find precious little on this hunk other than that he measured in at 5’9″ and 180 pounds and wrestled in 6 products (well, two of them only loosely count as wrestling in my book). His filmography is just far to brief, but I love every minute of him on screen.
Ass #4:
This homoerotic wrestler took me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting to be quite so turned on by him, but not only is the ass here sincerely squeezable, his snarling, sneering attitude and sadistic delight in dominating is crazy hot. 5’11”, 168 pounds, he’s no ripped muscle stud, and he simply doesn’t need to be, because his wrestling and his sell (and that accent!) makes all sorts of things pump harder within me.
Ass #5:
5’11” and 180 pounds, the homoerotic wrestler wrapped up so beautifully here has a permanent place in the pantheon of my fantasy wrestlers. He only wrestled twice, as far as I know (please, please tell me where else I can find more of his work), which probably accounts for the fact that I’ve never mentioned him around these parts before. But that oversight is happily about to be corrected. He had movie star good looks, perfect proportions, a smile that brings me to my knees, and an enthusiasm for his ring wrestling performances that makes up for any lack of polish. With a body and a face so stunning, you only need one name.
Send me your answers or post them in the comments below. Feel free to work together. This is an open-notes quiz. Good luck, and you may begin…

Getting Turned On

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Angelo Blanco

I really like Angelo Blanco. While he isn’t the biggest or hardest muscle hunk in homoerotic wrestling, and he doesn’t bring the deepest arsenal of wrestling holds to the mat (yet), he does possess several qualities that I find fantastically stirring.

When I saw him debut against bad boy Skull, I felt an instant erotic connection with A.B. His body is tantalizingly tasty. My earlier comments about his physique notwithstanding, he’s got fantastic proportions, beautiful olive skin, and legs that look astonishingly strong on his 5’7″, 150 pound frame. Watching that match from Masked Mayhem 7, it felt like I was watching an eager rookie, green around the gills and still working out how to feel comfortable in a speedo and a wrestling mask. But the operative word for me is “eager.” Angelo looks like he’s ready to fuck someone from the start, and the wrestling only stokes his lustful fire more with each twist and turn of the match. His cock takes up more and more room in his tight white trunks, as he’s forced to dial up the down-n-dirty tactics to keep pace with that little devil, Skull. Each passing moment of the sweaty mat action makes him (and me) harder. His opponent, wrestling here under a pseudonym, clearly has more experience. He has more mat savvy. But there’s something irrepressible about Angelo’s determination to rub his throbbing cock against his opponent that makes me deeply satisfied by the atypical rookie victory.

A.B. is back in Masked Mayhem 8. It seems as if he’s soaked up by osmosis some of the darkness of his first opponent, continuing his transformation as a fallen angel. This time he’s sporting incredibly hot fantasy-wear mesh tights that leave plenty of room for that irrepressible cock of his to grow. He’s aroused from the start, though, as he eyes and engages in mutual stroking of his shredded twink opponent, Aqua, also better known under another name when not wrestling masked. Aqua seems to have the same reaction to A.B. that I do. The twink’s gaze roams over Angelo’s hot body slowly. His hands rise lustfully to feel A.B.’s torso. And the first words out of Aqua’s mouth are acknowledgment that he likes what he sees.

A.B. seems more at home on the mat this outing. He takes the initiative, just like he takes Aqua’s crotch in hand over and over again. A.B. rubs his cock in the twink’s face every chance he gets (and he gets many). He works up a quick sheen of sweat, which always dials up the homoeroticism in my book.

It’s that erection that just captivates me, though. A.B. enjoys this work. It’s not the sort of enjoyment that comes with lots of humor and playfulness and camp (not that there’s anything wrong with that). It’s not  even the sort of enjoyment that comes from being tested in competitive physical combat (again, not a thing wrong with that, either). But it’s the sort of enjoyment that a man wearing nothing but a mesh thong with an expandable banana hammock built-in just can’t hide.

A.B. is physically aroused by wrestling Aqua. It’s unmistakable. There’s an authenticity to it that’s more than just evidenced by the erection. He doesn’t smile.  There’s no hint of self-conciousness. It’s as if he’s completely oblivious to the fact that there’s a cameraman dancing around the room catching every provocative angle. This is what I mean when I talk about “all-in” wrestling. Everything is happening on the mat. There’s nothing spilling over to shatter the illusion that these two are completely focused on nothing other than each other and the battle for physical and sexual (and, dare I say, spiritual) domination. There’s all sorts of mystery about a masked man that leaves me guessing about Angelo Blanco. But one thing that I have no uncertainty about at all is the fact that he gets off on wrestling every ounce as much as I do. He isn’t just going through the motions of giving a homoerotic wrestling kink audience a show. He’s got to be one of us. And especially for that (in addition to his fucking sexy body and his paralyzing kiss and his beautiful cock that figures prominently in the culmination of this match and catapults him into my criteria for joining the pornboy ranks), I really, really like Angelo Blanco.

The Rain Clouds Open Up

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Whew! The long drought in my wrestling fiction has broken. It wasn’t writer’s block or melancholy interrupting the creative flow. It was brutal, exhausting, largely unpaid “real” work stealing my best creative juices. Thankfully, the juices are spilling again into my preferred past-time of writing homoerotic wrestling fiction.

David Gandy

A co-author helped me sketch this match out months ago. In it, we meet some of the executive assistants from rival titans around the globe, including big British brute, David Gandy, who, it turns out, seems to me to be seriously lacking a sense of humor.

Noah Mills

It also introduces Toronto-based executive assistant Noah Mills. Noah is one of those guys who has a little too much testosterone for his own good. No imagined slight or social faux pas can go unchallenged with unbridled physical confrontation for Noah. Clearly, he’s in the right man’s homoerotic wrestling imagination.

Mateus Verdelho

The boys are out at a club when Noah spills some of his drink as a result of getting bumped by buzzed skater hunk, Mateus Verdelho. Push comes to shove, quite literally. Shirts are ripped off, and that inevitable crowd of enablers spills out into the back alley behind the two of them to watch the sport.
Turns out, not only is Noah hyped up on testosterone. He also fights dirty. While in some crowds this would earn him major points, the club crowd this night turns on Noah for his underhanded, below-the-belt tactics. Big, beautiful blond hunk Tyler McPeak can’t stand it any longer, and he rushes into the fray to even the score and teach Noah the consequences of taking shortcuts.

Tyler McPeak

The details are over at Producer’s Ring, but things turn cocks-out and brutal, with two pretty boys shelved in the dumpsters with the rotting club food, and two others licking each others wounds with enthusiasm. My thanks to Metellus for carrying the water farther than he really should have had to, and for being infinitely patient with my “I’m just about to get down to writing again!” excuses.

The 98-pound Weakling and the Bully

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Hot damn! Trent Diesel only narrowly was denied a shot at a 3-peat for the title of my homoerotic wrestler of the month, but I simply have to say more about his most recent tag-team match over at Naked Kombat. The chemistry between all four wrestlers (Trent and his partner, Matthew Singer, going against Gavin Waters and Nikko Alexander), is off the charts. They’re absolutely ferocious and balls out on the clock, and when there’s a time out, there are these incredibly erotic moments of tenderness and respect shown among all four pornboys.

The story to start the match is explicitly told by Gavin and Nikko in their pre-match interview. Gavin promises that the outcome this time around will be distinctly different than in Trent’s humiliating initiation of Gavin in his debut match a couple of weeks ago. In no uncertain terms, Nikko and Gavin point out that Mattie is the “weakest link,” and they’re going to exploit that link all the way to their victory fucks in round 4. They’re absolutely right and absolutely wrong, as it turns out.
They’re absolutely right that Mattie is the weakest link. It’s no wonder, really. He’s been seriously outclassed in his prior matches, and once again he has very little stamina and wind (lay off the smokes, skinny boy, your lung capacity will thank you). There are moments when Gavin (6’2″, 200 pounds) is bullying Mattie (6’0″, 170 pounds) so miserably I feel a little bad for the babyface. When Mattie has panicked his way into a time out in round one, and he takes the down position for the restart, Gavin is beaming with joy as he strips out of his own trunks in order to press his naked cock provocatively against the Mattie’s ass. Nikko and Gavin seem determined to intimidate him, and they seem to succeed.
Nikko and Gavin also play fast and loose with the NK rules, which costs them dearly, as it turns out. In one of those bully-sessions, Gavin snaps on a nasty, illegal rear choke that has poor Mattie writhing in panic. When confronted with the rule infraction, Gavin offers, “But I’m blond!,” either as an excuse for being too dumb to know the rules, or as a trump card that probably gets his gorgeous ass plenty of free passes for being so damn pretty, I don’t know. Round 1 also has the bad boys in red tagging 4 times, when the rules permit only 3 per round. Both infractions earn the brutes penalties.
At least one moral of this story, I’d say, is that karma is a bitch. Turns out Trent and Matt squeak out a stunning upset victory. The real kicker, though, is that their margin of victory is smaller than the total penalty points Gavin and Nikko lost needlessly earlier in the match. Mattie’s reward in round 4 seems super sweet to me. The poor, outclassed “weakest link” struggled mightily to keep his head in this match during the first 3 rounds. You could virtually watch him swallow down the panic and primal fear he faced, as he plunged over and over again, headlong into the path of two big, bad muscle brutes. The skinny boy took a knee to the face in round one. He was maligned and overlooked before the match even started. So as he rides Nikko around the ring like a pony and then shoves that really, really, really huge cock of his up Gavin’s ass, there’s just something really sweet about the whole thing. It’s like the first Karate Kid movie, except this time, the skinny, outclassed wimp gets to humiliate and literally fuck his tormentors in front of a cheering crowd.
And of course, the crowd works for me. The crowd ratchets up the homoeroticism here about 150%. The prominently featured women in the front row of the crowd, unfortunately, then dock the homoeroticism about 25% for me (and for several other commentators, I note, on the NK website). But still, that’s 112.5% the homoeroticism that this extremely hot tag-team match-up already had going for it (trust me on the math… really). Trent is a wrestling god who fills me with awe every time I watch him on the mats. It should come as no surprise that he maintains a death grip on the title as my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy. Mattie is a surprisingly compelling character who makes that former 98-pound weakling inside of me infinitely proud. And Gavin and Nikko are astonishingly pleasing as overconfident heels who push their luck and indulge their sadism just a fraction too much for their own good. Awesome story. Incredibly hot action. Even round 4 kept my attention, which isn’t always the case, and the “bonus” scene was a sweet “porn-meets-pro-wrestling” departure from the typical script of the “hardcore reality” vibe that NK likes to try to sell.
I highly recommend this match.

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

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Once again I face that delightful dilemma of too many top tier contenders for who, in my opinion, is homoerotic wrestler of the month. Seriously, you can’t swing a dead cat without smacking a half dozen gorgeous, grunting, fully committed homoerotic wrestling gods in their sweat soaked faces. BG East’s new catalog came out, so inevitably they are packing the contenders list, considering my tastes. I’m completely captured by muscle gods Dev Michaels and Marco Carlow from Motel Madness 11, and I admit to being caught off guard by how irrepressibly turned-on I am by Torvik Tirva’s beatdown on Brad Flash. Both Aqua and Angelo Blanco from Masked Mayhem 8 are instant contenders, with a special note of appreciation for the extra helping of the homoerotic in this homoerotic flesh fest.  I’m putting Mitch Colby on alert that a fantastically sexy lightweight by the name of Skrapper has his sights set on knocking Mitch out of the top contender spot for my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy title, as well as easily claiming top contention for homoerotic wrestler of the month for his work in Undagear 17.  Rio Garza and Christopher Bruce from match 2 of that same DVD are both getting nods from me as well, and I can’t help but note that Rio is in absolutely jaw dropping physical form. I’m deeply moved by performances from BG’s Bad Boys 2, including Dick Rick, as well as the dynamic twosome of Jonny Firestorm and Bobby Horton from match 3. It’ll be no surprise to regular readers that both Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) and Lon Dumont are in the pool of contention for their respective matches in Gut Bash 8.  Trent Diesel, my reigning homoerotic wrestling pornboy, worked his gorgeous ass off this month for Naked Kombat, delivering a humiliating beatdown on hardbody rookie Gavin Waters two (count them, two!) times, first in singles competition and then partnering with astonishingly doe-eyed Matt Singer in crushing and humiliating Gavin and sexy thug Nikko Alexander, who I’m also giving a nod for also doing double-time, earning a pony ride underneath babyface Singer a couple of weeks after he spanked and fucked twink Noah Brooks. Tyler Reeves and Max Powers grab my attention in the RockHardWrestling ring this month, and from Thunder’s Arena, I’m nominating Cody Nelson for clawing the fuck out of Bam Bam’s pecs in Bodybuilder Battle 29 as well as for tweaking my brother-on-brother erotic fantasies against his “little” bro, Troy Nelson, in Mat Wars 29.

May set the table for a truly phenomenal homoerotic wrestling feast. To pick just one is, as always, just a little torturous. Never one to shy away from a little punishment, I’ve thought about this long and hard. I nearly copped out and pronounced another tie, but by a hairs breadth, I’ve settled on one homoerotic wrestler who claims the title of my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month.

Meet my new homoerotic wrestler of the month…
BG East’s Jonny Firestorm.

Several readers had thoughts and comments about the difference of opinions that Joe and I expressed over BG East’s last catalog release. Somehow, the world feels back on its axis now that we’ve returned to the 97.3% of agreement that Joe and I share in our homoerotic wrestling tastes and preferences. I couldn’t agree with him more, in fact, when he announced a few weeks ago that Jonny and Bobby Horton’s match in BG Bad Boys 2 is destined to be a classic. I love this match, and I’m crazy for both Jonny and Bobby from start to finish.

The success of this match for me is comprised of dozens of small, potent moments. The opening posedown has me laughing and adjusting my crotch at the same time, as “little” Jonny works extra hard to measure up next to an opponent of equal fitness and an additional 7″ in height. These delightful, small potent moments also include Jonny’s brutal wedgie on Bobby early on, baring Bobby’s beautiful buttocks for an over the knee spanking. Equally potent and provocative, Bobby nearly shreds Jonny’s silver trunks in a retribution wedgie later on.

I’m delighted and completely turned on by the bright, bright red palm prints that rage for minutes across Bobby’s beautiful pecs as a result of Jonny’s go-to chest smack.

It’s a small thing, I know, but I’m thrilled by the spine busting hip toss that whips big Bobby out of the corner with such velocity that it knocks his vanity mask sideways.

Someone else may not give a damn, but both of these boys catch air, and the brutal ballet that is 6’2″ Bobby soaring for miles on this way to splashing down brutally, crushing 5’5″ Jonny helplessly in the corner is incredibly satisfying. This is such a hot battle of fresh young heels that, truthfully, I nearly relented and named both Bobby and Jonny co-homoerotic wrestlers of the month (which would have pushed Bobby into the extremely elite category of being a 2-time title holder). But as entertainingly as both of these bad boys tell a story and sell their sadistic characters, Jonny has the razor’s edge for my affections here. It may be his head butt into Bobby’s abs as the big boy was still trying to recover, flat on his back, from a barrage of stomps. Perhaps it’s Jonny’s softball-size biceps, which are likely no bigger than Bobby’s but on his smaller frame simply look gargantuan. Maybe it’s my secret fetish for the little guy who overcomes the first-glance odds to power back and prevail over a much bigger opponent.

For all these and so many more truly outstanding elements in a start-to-finish thrilling pro wrestling match with precisely enough kink to make my ears buzz, and for Jonny’s undeniable athleticism, shredded fitness, incredible salesmanship and sweet-n-bitter delivery that leaves me laughing one minute and 100% aroused the next, I’m very satisfied that I’ve selected the right man for the job. My reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month could be no one other than BG Bad Boy Jonny Firestorm.

Cocks Named

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Jobberinnyc made short work of this week’s Name That Cock quiz. Way to go, jobberinnyc! He knows his homoerotic wrestling cocks, and for that, he’s head of the class this week here in neverland. Let’s review his excellent work, so that you can learn from his fine example.
Cock #1 belongs to…
… BG East’s Dino Serra. 

I’ve seen just a few of Dino’s matches, but my impression is that he had a loud-n-proud raging erection in every match. This fine display of his major league tool comes from his thrashing at the hands of eager beaver Jarrett Cole in Wrestleshack 7.

Cock #2 belongs to…
Naked Kombat’s Race Cooper.
In particular, this shot of his rod comes from his most recent match, posted March 16, going toe-to-toe and cock-to-cock with Roman gladiator-looking beefy stud Jeremy Tyler. Pornboy Race is sculpted perfection. Damn.
Cock #3 belongs to…
… BG East’s Jose.
Holy hell, the sight of Jose’s meat always makes me gasp. Greg Leary, pictured here pinned by the python with some gratuitous pec clawing thrown in just for kicks, thought his quite impressive cock would warrant some cred when he stripped off his trunks. Pointing to his pendulous cock, Greg let Jose know that he was bringing his “quarter pounder” into the final round of their match in Hard Pros 6. Jose simply smirked dismissively and peeled out of his own trunks, illustrating that he was slapping down “the whole Big Mac.” Win-win-lose, as far as I’m concerned (Jose wins; you and I win; Greg loses).
Cock #4 belongs to…
…Can-Am’s Billy Herrington/Billy Marcus.
Here, Billy has hoisted blond boytoy Dax Kelly over his gargantuan shoulders, on his way to breaking the twink down to complete adoring submission. Truth is, physiques as thick and massive as Billy’s make it tough to make even an impressive cock look proportional. However, Billy does just fine, as far as I’m concerned. The brain-trust that came up with the title “Wrestlers” for this release deserve a neverland razzie, but with Billy Herrington on the cover, who would ever remember the name of the tape?
Cock #5 belongs to…
… BG East’s heel extraordinaire, Kid Vicious.
So I’ve never admitted this to anyone, ever, but truth is that KV sort of looks like a bastard boss I used to have. This is disturbing on many levels, not the least of which is the haunting shadow image of my boss pounding his fist mercilessly into the naked cock of some poor, outclassed opponent. In this case, KV was beating the living daylights out of also-aptly named Skrapper (especially his cock) in Sexy Showdown 5: Florida Fun. I’m repeating myself when I say that KV is possibly the most accomplished master of connecting all the dots in homoerotic wrestling competing today. I’m also repeating myself when I say that Skrapper continues to catch me by surprise by how arousing I find his wrestling.
So there you have it. While jobberinnyc didn’t go the extra mile and name the opponents for yesterday’s quiz, he is nevertheless homoerotic wrestling fan #1 in the realm of neverland, at least for this week. Keep playing. Keep studying those homoerotic wrestlers, especially the ones with gorgeous asses, awe-inspiring cocks, and delightful tattoos, and maybe next week you’ll jump to the head of the class!